THE FLINTSTONES
Written by STEVEN E. DE SOUZA
Based on characters created by
JOE BARBERA & WILLIAM HANNA
Early Draft - September 1987
FOR EDUCATIONAL
PURPOSES ONLY
THE FLINTSTONES
FADE IN:
1 EXT. SLATE QUARRY - DAY 1
FRED FLINTSTONE, archetypical Everyman, sits atop his
faithful heavy-equipment dinosaur, cranking the winch
that makes the mighty beast rip and tear into the quarry
wall.
2 THE QUARRY FOREMAN 2
looks down at his wristwatch. Well... actually, it's a
wrist sundial. And it's magic time... quittin' time...
Millerock time!
Now the foreman turns from his watch to a steam whistle
bird, and yanks its tail. The BIRD SQUAWKS the end of
the workday --
3 ANOTHER ANGLE 3
FRED
YABBA DABBA DO -- !
Fred happily discards his hard hat, leaps out of the
canvas-roofed cab on the dino's back, slides down the
tail and bounces right into the seat of his stone and
timber car! He gets up to a running start with the only
motor (his feet), slows to allow a "time clock" dinosaur
to punch his stone timecard, and then he's trotting back
up to speed and out of the gate! MUSIC comes UP and
OVER --
MUSIC (V.O.)
'Flintstones,
Meet the Flintstones,
They're a modern
Stone age fam-i-ly --'
-- And so forth, as for the first time in "his-tor-y" we
see the Flintstones' OPENING CREDITS live!
4 TIGHT ON A MAILBOX 4
reading "FLINTSTONE." We WIDEN as Fred SKIDS to a halt
in the driveway of his three-bedroom ranch cave. A
moment later, WILMA and PEBBLES run out -- both looking
just like they should -- and get into the car. A beat
behind them are the Flintstone pets, Dino and the
saber-toothed cat.
Fred pauses, looks around... HONKS his HORN... BARNEY,
BETTY and BAM-BAM come out of the neighboring house, hop
in!
(CONTINUED)
2.
4 CONTINUED: 4
Fred's feet slap on the street as the car starts
up --
MUSIC (V.O.)
'From the
Town of Bedrock
They're a page right
Out of his-tor-y -- '
5 DRIVE-IN MOVIE THEATRE - DUSK 5
Fred and company pull in. He takes a giant sea shell
"speaker" off of its wooden stand and hooks it to his
car door. He leans over, puts his arm around Wilma.
(In the back seat, Dino pops his head up, tearing through
the canvas top.) Dino picks up Pebbles and Bam-Bam and
puts them on his head for a better view. CAMERA ZOOMS IN
ON the drive-in screen and the words that America has
waited twenty-five years to see in 70mm Dolby(TM) drop-
your-popcorn reality:
THE FLINTSTONES
And as the MAIN CREDITS ROLL, we --
DISSOLVE TO:
6 AN EERIE CARBONIFEROUS FOREST - DAWN 6
Dew drips from strange multi-leafed plants. Giant
DRAGONFLIES BUZZ AND HUM to and fro. Bubbles rise from
a still pond, and weird lungfish move onto the land.
(The third one out carries a little suitcase.)
CAMERA PANS PAST the lungfish TO a muddy shore. With a
DRAMATIC MUSICAL STING, we DISCOVER a set of strange,
hideous clawprints. The CAMERA FOLLOWS these, then
WIDENS to reveal the make of these footprints: A seven-
foot tall and fearful beast we will call the Xenosaurus.
It looks around menacingly. (Oddly, it's carrying a
canvas sack, but we don't stress this.)
Suddenly a garbage truck appears out of nowhere and runs
over the Xenosaurus.
7 NEW ANGLE 7
Dazed, the Xenosaurus gets up. As it does, we realize
that we aren't deep in some primeval forest, but on the
shoulder of a gravel highway. A stone road sign reads
BEDROCK 1/2 MILE. ROCK VEGAS, BABYLON & EDEN NEXT THREE
EXITS. Now, the CAMERA CRANES UP ABOVE the sign and
we see -- Bedrock!
(CONTINUED)
3.
7 CONTINUED: 7
Nestled incongruously in a savage landscape, the charming
protosuburbia gleams in the dawn's early Spielberg light.
The Xenosaurus grabs its sack and some silverware spills
out. Then it runs off into the bushes and out of sight.
8 WITH THAT GARBAGE TRUCK 8
It reaches the crest of a hill where there's a "WELCOME
TO BEDROCK" billboard which bears greetings from the
Rotary Club, the Chamber of Commerce, and (of course)
The Loyal Order of Water Buffaloes. The garbage truck
guys drop their feet down through the floorboard and
trot over the rise, coast down to the street below.
The driver yanks a wooden brake and the truck stops, and
the rear guys hop off. One of them waves to --
9 A MILKMAN 9
who returns the wave, then takes a four-pack of stone
bottles out of his milk truck, heads towards a doorway.
As the milkman drops off the milk, he passes a big
TORTOISE with trash cans on its back. The Tortoise
nods familiarly to the milkman, then it waddles down the
curb, CAMERA FOLLOWING. The garbage men take the cans
off the Tortoise's back, dump them into the truck.
10 REAR OF TRUCK 10
-- revealing that the back of the truck is actually a
giant-jawed CREATURE strapped onto the chassis. The
garbage men dump the cans into its maw... it happily
swallows the works, licks its lips, BELCHES.
11 BACK TO SCENE 11
The garbagemen slam the cans back on the Tortoise, who
winces as they drive off.
TORTOISE
(under his breath)
You can forget about a tip for
Christmas...
It waddles back up the lawn... passing by a wooden "lawn
timer" box which now pops open.
Inside the box is a "ROOSTERSAURUS" which CROWS and flaps
its wings. The motion of the wings knocks loose two
round stones which roll down two long troughs a la Rube
Goldberg...
4.
12 FOLLOWING THE ROUND STONES 12
They reach the ends of their respective paths, dislodging
a stick... that releases a coiled rope which in turn
spins a turntable which holds a little wooly mammoth. As
it begins to spin around, it squirts water out of its
snout.
Elsewhere on the lawn, other spinning MAMMOTHS repeat
this performance. After a moment, they gradually slow
their revolutions. The one closest to the house
scrunches its trunk with a GROAN.
LITTLE MAMMOTH
(sotto)
Oh, my aching sinuses...
13 INT. FLINTSTONES' BEDROOM - DAY 13
WIDEN FROM the windowsill, where a little sea shell
hearing aid trumpet AMPLIFIES another ROOSTERSAURUS
"COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO" into the ear of a "CLOCK RADIO
WOODPECKER." The Woodpecker yawns, gets out of bed,
puts a timecard in a little clock. Then it turns
and begins pecking on a BELL, which RINGS PIERCINGLY.
14 INT. BEDROOM - NEW ANGLE 14
Two shapes are visible under the bedclothes: One is a
great SNORING bulge, the other is a svelte and lithe
shape. As the BELL continues RINGING, the larger bulge
GRUNTS, MOANS, pulls a pillow over its head, and then
finally gropes under the bed for a slipper. The slipper
is thrown without aiming --
15 THE WOODPECKER 15
ducks just in time. It wipes its forehead nervously.
RADIO WOODPECKER
(sotto)
I hate this job... There's not
even a health plan...
He staggers back up to his perch, and then notices for
the first time that the dial on the side is pointed not
to "ALARM" but to "ALARM & RADIO." The WOODPECKER SIGHS,
looks over at the bed where SNORING is still emanating.
Then the bird swings a little telescope around to point
out the window.
16 WOODPECKER'S TELESCOPE - IRIS SHOT 16
as the 'SCOPE PANS and FOCUSES, finally SETTLING ON a
distant stone building marked RADIO STATION B-ROK.
(CONTINUED)
5.
16 CONTINUED: 16
Perched on top of the wooden radio tower are a monkey
and an octopus. The monkey holds up cue cards which the
octopus reads, and then waves nautical semaphore flags.
17 BACK TO SCENE 17
Our WOODPECKER squints, CLEARS his THROAT.
RADIO WOODPECKER
(deeper "on-air" voice)
Good morning, Bedrock. This is
station B-R-O-K with the morning
weather and news...
18 IN THE BED 18
The big bulge GRUNTS and MUTTERS a bit, then one hand
gropes around, finds the curvaceous form under the
neighboring covers... feels it tentatively... then
the fingers "walk" upwards...
RADIO WOODPECKER (O.S.)
It will be fair and mild through
the weekend, continuing for the
next eight hundred years, followed
by cooling breezes and a protracted
ice age...
Those walking fingers have reached the top edge of the
covers... now they pull them down revealing the owner's
face... the face of Fred, his eyes at half-mast, his
face covered in fashionable "Bedrock Vice" stubble.
FRED
(with genuine charm)
Wil-ma. Wil-ma? How about a
great big good morning kiss for
your Freddy-weddy?
And he pulls the covers down to reveal -- DINO, who is
immediately "YI-YI-YI-YI-ING," hopping all over the bed
and showering Fred with sloppy kisses.
FRED
Dino! Dino, cut it out -- !
RADIO WOODPECKER (O.S.)
In the news, Bedrock civic and
business leaders met yesterday to
discuss the growing kibble crisis.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
6.
18 CONTINUED: 18
RADIO WOODPECKER (O.S.) (CONT'D)
Ecological activist Ralph Naderock
warned that if new supplies of
kibble are not found, our animal-
powered civilization itself may be
threatened.
By now Dino's affection attack has knocked both master
and pet to the floor in a jumble of bedclothes, asses
and elbows. Dino begins to roll Fred across the room
like a seal playing with a ball.
FRED
Dino, that's enough -- here, look,
Daddy has a nice dino bone for
you, just please stop it --
Fred has now backed up to a dresser, where he grabs a
brightly-colored box labeled "PURINROCK DINO TREATS."
Fred holds it up -- Dino gets up on two legs, eager for
the treat -- Fred shakes the box... alas, nothing comes
out.
DINO "YI-YI'S" again, propelling Fred into the next room.
19 INT. FLINTSTONE KITCHEN - DAY 19
Five-year-old PEBBLES GIGGLES at the table as Fred and
Dino tumble into the room like Frank Buck and a lion.
Wilma turns at the noise. One look at her and we under-
stand Fred's romantic turn.
RADIO WOODPECKER (O.S.)
In other news, Bedrock police
report that the Xenosaurus has
struck again! Yes, the fiercesome
intruder was sighted in the
Bedrock Hills for the third time
this month. Outlying shops and
residencies report extensive
looting and property destruction...
WILMA
Fred, stop playing with Dino and
sit down. Your breakfast's
getting cold.
Saying this, Wilma puts a huge egg at Fred's place.
Meanwhile, Fred manages to get to his feet, holds out
one arm to keep Dino at bay. Fred does a big "take,"
looking out the window --
(CONTINUED)
7.
19 CONTINUED: 19
FRED
(throwing open the
door)
Oooh, Dino, look -- there's a
nice big dino bone laying out on
the front lawn -- !
Pause. Dino gives him a big look as if to say, "Oh,
yeah?"
FRED
(trying again)
-- Gosh, look at that adorable
little female dino --
"YI-YI-YI-YI," DINO is out the door like a rocket. Fred
cackles, slams it shut, then sits down at the table.
FRED
-- That animal's gonna kill me
with kindness. Do you know we're
out of dino treats?
WILMA
So is everybody else in Bedrock.
That kibble crisis is getting
worse every day.
She puts two giant slices of bread into a toaster. Two
claw-like devices hold the toast, pulling it out of
sight.
WILMA
I'm afraid Dino's going to have to
manage on leftovers from Pebbles
and me.
FRED
(sitting down)
And what's wrong with my leftovers?
WILMA
I'll let you know when I see
some.
RADIO WOODPECKER (O.S.)
(finishing up)
... Scientists from B.C.
University report that the
footprints of the Xenosaurus match
no known animal.
(CONTINUED)
8.
19 CONTINUED: (2) 19
PEBBLES
Mommy, is the bad Ze-ze-zenosaurus
gonna get me and eat me up?
WILMA
Of course not, baby.
FRED
That's right, sweetheart. The
only thing that's gonna eat you
up is -- me!
And he grabs her and bites her and tickles her.
PEBBLES
(giggling, calming)
I'm still a little scared...
FRED
Pebbles, don't worry. These
stories are very exaggerated.
Like, you know, the boogyman?
There's no such thing as a huge,
inhuman reptile that attacks
without warning --
WHAM! Dino reappears, bounding through the window
and knocking Fred onto the floor. Once again Dino is
happily licking and loving and cuddling his callously
unresponsive owner. Fred struggles to avoid the
slurping tongue, pulls himself up to the window sill,
looks out.
FRED
-- Oh, look, everybody, the mailman
is here --
"YI-YI-YI-YI!" DINO buys it again, runs to the door,
lets himself out. This time Fred puts a chair against
the door.
Meanwhile, Wilma turns at the sound of the TOASTER
POPPING UP. We see that the "claws" we saw earlier were
the actual claws of a LOBSTER in a little fireproof suit
who is tucked inside the toaster. As Wilma takes the
toast, the Lobster blows on his claws, wincing, then
looks TOWARDS the CAMERA.
LOBSTER
Well, it beats working in a
seafood restaurant...
(CONTINUED)
9.
19 CONTINUED: (3) 19
FRED
(taking the toast)
Thanks, Wilma...
Fred slaps jelly on the toast, takes a big bite, and then
something outside the window catches his eye.
20 HIS POV - STREET 20
A paperboy on a wood-and-stone bicycle is coming rapidly
towards the house. In the bike's basket is a stack of
dried, rock-hard clay tablets.
21 BACK TO SCENE 21
Fred leans out the window, waving his hands.
FRED
Arnold! Arnold! Don't aim at
the house -- please, not at the
house --
WHAM! Fred ducks back just as the stone newspaper slams
into the window frame, SMASHING a FLOWERPOT, taking out
a chunk of wall, and continuing diagonally through the
kitchen and out another window. Fred follows this
action in time to see --
22 HIS DRIVEWAY - THROUGH THE OTHER WINDOW 22
The rock paper drops like a foul shot, rips through the
canvas roof of Fred's car, and then bangs a huge dent
in the hood.
23 BACK TO SCENE 23
Fred sighs, turns back to his breakfast.
WILMA
Lucky it wasn't the Sunday paper.
FRED
(slight smile)
Yeah. What else can go wrong?
He slices through the big egg with his knife -- releasing
a baby PTERODACTYL which SQUAWKS and flaps, knocking Fred
over as it takes off through the window.
DISSOLVE TO:
24 EXT. FLINTSTONE DRIVEWAY - LATER 24
Fred -- now dressed for work -- is forlornly trying to
fix his car.
(CONTINUED)
10.
24 CONTINUED: 24
In the neighboring driveway, Wilma and Betty pile the
kids into Betty's car.
BETTY
(wiping their mouths)
Come on, kids. Time for nursery
school.
PEBBLES
'Bye-bye, Daddy.
FRED
'Bye, little sweetheart.
(as Wilma clears
her throat)
'Bye, big sweetheart.
Fred kisses them both and they drive off. Fred sighs,
tries to stretch the canvas roof edges close enough to
stitch. Nearby, Dino struggles to drag the stone news-
paper inside the house. The twin headlines are, of
course, KIBBLE CRISIS GROWS and MYSTERIOUS XENOSAURUS
STRIKES AGAIN.
Suddenly a pink flamingo appears over the hedge. As its
mouth opens and closes, it appears to be talking, but
the voice is that of --
BARNEY
Nice morning, huh, Fred?
FRED
What's nice about it?
BARNEY
Heh, hey. That Arnold's got a
real arm on him, don't he?
Now we see that Barney is holding the flamingo's stiff
legs which he scissors, making the bird's beak trim the
hedge.
FRED
This is the third ragtop this year
... say, shouldn't you be at work?
BARNEY
Ah, well, that appliance store and
me, we kinda had a little
adjustment --
FRED
You got fired, didn't ya?
(CONTINUED)
11.
24 CONTINUED: (2) 24
BARNEY
Fred, don't start on me again. I
donno, I'm just not a nine to
five guy. I got dreams, Fred.
Ideas --
FRED
Yeah, I know, I know, those
crazy inventions of yours. Be
honest with me, Barn... tell me
one thing you invented that
really caught on.
BARNEY
I invented fire.
FRED
(pause)
You invented fire?
BARNEY
I told you that, Fred. But the
coal conglomerate ripped me off.
The case is still in court, but
meanwhile I got lotsa other
ideas --
FRED
Yeah, but did any one of them
ever put bread on the table? How
long are you and Betty gonna live
on those penny-ante royalties you
get?
Fred pulls his car hood off of its wooden hinges,
examines it with dismay.
FRED
If you ask me, pal, you're just
blowing smoke up your own
volcano...
BARNEY
Maybe, Fred. But first...
He uses the flamingo's jaws to snatch the car hood
from Fred's surprised grasp.
BARNEY
Let me try some of that smoke on
your car.
CUT TO:
12.
25 INT. BARNEY'S GARAGE/WORKSHOP - DAY 25
We can still see Fred's car in the neighboring driveway.
(We can also see Dino, who drags the newspaper on a
bit more, then collapses from exhaustion).
Barney's garage is cluttered with all kinds of odds and
ends, plus various inventions and scale models in
different stages of completion. (Interestingly, a
number of these anticipate Leonardo da Vinci's work).
Many of the models are made of a strange celadon green
material.
Fred watches, skeptical, as Barney presses the car hood
into some soft clay between two big blocks of stone.
BARNEY
(as he works)
-- See, the first step, we make
a mold of the old car hood, smooth
out the dent in the clay --
He tosses the original car hood aside with a crash.
Then, moving rapidly, he starts heaving a variety of
ingredients into the reverse imprint of the car hood.
BARNEY
-- Add some lava granules... some
woca leaves... juice from two
coo-coo berries...
FRED
(impressed)
Two coo-coo berries? You made of
money, Barney?
BARNEY
Anything for a pal, Fred -- a
lump of coal... bamboo sawdust...
eucalyptus sap... a touch of the
La Brea tarbrush -- and -- voila.
Barney dips a finger in this mess, "tastes" it;
satisfied, he yanks on a hanging rope and a giant rock
weight slams down on the whole mess, making Fred jump out
of his skin.
26 NEW ANGLE 26
Fred is caked with dust. He coughs and spits.
FRED
Barney, why don't you try inventing
a brain for yourself! Look at what
you did to --
(CONTINUED)
13.
26 CONTINUED: 26
He stops as Barney cranks up the weight on a ratchet,
proudly lifts out a perfect (though greenish) duplicate
of the car hood. As Fred examines it, impressed despite
himself, we...
CUT TO:
27 BETTY'S CAR - TRAVELING 27
The two kids are in the back seat. Somehow both of the
kids' faces are messy again. Working together with
beautiful precision, they are carefully dismantling the
rear armrests and door handles.
BETTY
(in mid-speech,
driving)
... Oh, it's not that I'm complaining,
Wilma. I mean, Barney's sweet, but...
well, he's just not cut out to punch
a clock. And he's such a dreamer,
you think he ever once picked up a
hammer and chisel and tried to
balance a checkbook?
They pull up in front of a pleasant-looking simple little
nursery school. MRS. GRANITE, a pleasant-looking 65, sees
them from the schoolyard, waves while Wilma and Betty un-
load the kids.
BETTY
No, Barney just keeps looking for
that coo-coo berry pie in the sky,
and I don't want to pop his balloon
by talking about the price of
mastodon ribs.
She wipes off Bam-Bam's mouth with a handkerchief. Wilma
does the same with Pebbles and then they kiss the kids,
who immediately run into the schoolyard.
MRS. GRANITE
(approaching)
Mrs. Rubble, Mrs. Flintstone, I
wanted to thank you personally.
BETTY
You're welcome, Mrs. Granite. But
we wipe their mouths every day.
MRS. GRANITE
No, no, I mean for all your wonderful
support the past few years. It's
parents like you that make me think
twice about retiring.
(CONTINUED)
14.
27 CONTINUED: 27
From the schoolyard comes the sudden sound of KIDS QUAR-
RELING and then a THUD and some CRYING.
MRS. GRANITE
On the other hand...
Wilma and Betty laugh.
WILMA
We're really going to miss you,
too, Mrs. Granite.
MRS. GRANITE
Have you found another school for
the children?
BETTY
We're still shopping around.
WILMA
Fortunately, we're both --
Wilma and Betty straighten... salute.
WILMA & BETTY
(they've done this
routine before)
-- Professional shoppers!
As the three women laugh, we...
CUT TO:
28 EXT. BEDROCK STREET - TRAVELLING - DAY 28
Fred and Barney drive along. (Behind them, the same
houses and palms seem to be going by... duplex, palm...
split level, two palms... duplex, palm).
Barney grins, gestures towards the front of the car.
BARNEY
Not bad, eh? After it cures for an
hour or so, it's solid as a rock.
FRED
Okay, you fixed a dented hood. But
you call that a living? Face it,
pal, this is the Stone Age, and it's
a dino eat dino world. You want my
advice?
BARNEY
Did I ever?
(CONTINUED)
15.
28 CONTINUED: 28
FRED
You stick with me today, cruise on
down to the quarry and fill out a
job application. I'm a big man
there, Barney --
BARNEY
You're a big man anywhere, Fred --
FRED
I'm serious, pal. Me and Mr. Slate
are just like this --
He takes his hand off the wheel to hold up two fingers...
ends up swerving instead.
FRED
-- just like that. I know, I know
-- you're not a clock-punching guy
-- but face it, Barney -- it's time
to grow up and put your nose to the
grindstone, batten down the hatches
and join the ratasaurus race with
the rest of us.
(meaningfully)
It's time to retire those dreams.
Barney looks glum, doesn't say anything. Suddenly Fred
pulls over, stops the car.
FRED
Barney. Look.
29 WIDE SHOT 29
They're at the crest of a high wide hill.
BARNEY
Hey. Lava Lane.
FRED
Remember the old days, Barn? We
used to race our go-carts here to
impress the girls.
BARNEY
(wistful)
Yeah, those were the days... we
usta dream about coming back here
some day with a real car and goin'
for the goldrock...!
A look from one to another, and then down the hill...
Fred gets a malicious grin on his face.
(CONTINUED)
16.
29 CONTINUED: 29
BARNEY
Fred... I thought you said it was
time to retire those old dreams.
FRED
Hey. Since when do I have to be
consistent?
The two pals laugh, and then with a whoop they begin
pedalling like mad. They go over the top, gravity takes
over and they are flying past that billboard with all the
Rotary Club welcomes on it. But now we see a different
sort of welcome, as a POLICE CAR ZOOMS out from behind it.
30 POLICE CAR - CLOSER 30
Inside are SERGEANT FELDSPAR and his rookie partner,
OFFICER GRAVEL. Cackling with anticipation, Feldspar
opens a box marked radar detector. Out pops a little
bird in a police helmet. It has a stopwatch (actually,
stop-sundial) around its neck. Feldspar points -- the
bird salutes -- takes off!
31 FRED AND BARNEY 31
BARNEY
(spotting the cops)
Oh-oh! Fred, slow down -- !
Suddenly both Fred and Barney see the RADAR BIRD flying
alongside them. It checks its stopwatch, writes a note
to itself. Fred is so preoccupied he doesn't notice
as --
32 THE POLICE CAR 32
cuts in front of Fred. Fred SLAMS on the "BRAKES," sits
helplessly as Feldspar gets out, walks over, grinning.
FELDSPAR
Well, Flintstone, looks like today's
the day.
FRED
Sergeant Feldspar, I... I wasn't
speeding... honest...
Fred reaches down to the floorboard as he speaks...
33 ANGLE ON FLOORBOARD 33
There's a box there marked RADAR BUSTER.
(CONTINUED)
17.
33 CONTINUED: 33
FELDSPAR (O.S.)
Forget it, Flintstone. This time
I got you dead to rights --
Fred opens the box. A scary-looking winged reptile
sticks out its head, smacks its hungry lips.
34 BACK TO SCENE 34
Confident, Feldspar jerks a thumb at the Radar Bird,
turns to his rookie partner.
FELDSPAR
Gravel. Get me the radar reading
and I'll show you how we deal with
scofflaws.
Gravel nods, steps towards the bird. The bird checks
its stopwatch... and then it notices the flying lizard
which is hovering nearby, licking its lips.
RADAR BIRD
Whoa! Wings, do your stuff -- !
The Radar Bird flies away at a hundred miles an hour,
leaving a cloud of dust and the stopwatch behind.
Feldspar catches the watch, startled.
FRED
Well, Sergeant, if you don't have
a radar reading, I guess we'll --
(quickly)
-- justbeonourway -- !
A new cloud of dust appears as Fred ROARS away.
FELDSPAR
Flintstone! Flintstone, come back
here -- !
CUT TO:
35 EXT. BEDROCK BUTCHER SHOP - DAY 35
Betty and Wilma have just pulled up. We notice that next
to their legal spot, a big limousine is parked in a "no
parking" zone. But our law-abiding Betty in the next
space now drops a stone coin in a parking meter.
36 CLOSE ON THE METER 36
Inside the window we see a LITTLE BIRD. It "bites" the
coin to check it, then turns over an egg timer.
(CONTINUED)
18.
36 CONTINUED: 36
LITTLE BIRD
(with a sigh)
Four years in accounting school
for this...
37 INT. BUTCHER SHOP - DAY 37
It's absolutely mobbed. Customers push past each other
with armloads of food. Gigantic cuts of meat hang from
above or are on display behind the counter. MORRIS THE
BUTCHER looks up from the chaos and manages a weak smile
for the girls.
BETTY
Morris, what on earth is going on?
You giving away Bronto filets?
MORRIS
Ah, my two loveliest customers.
It's this darn kibble crisis, Mrs.
R... people are buying everything
I got to feed their dinos...
MRS. SLATE
Young man, if you're through
flirting, I'd like some service.
38 NEW ANGLE 38
REVEALING MRS. SLATE, who stands there, impatient and
overdressed.
MORRIS
Of course, Mrs. Slate. Just take
a number.
Wilma senses the tension, quickly steps forward to break
it with a smile.
WILMA
Ah, hello, Mrs. Slate.
Morris reacts with relief. Mrs. Slate reacts with a
blank look.
WILMA
(prompting)
We met at the quarry picnic?
MRS. SLATE
Oh, of course. Mrs. Flintstein.
She turns her back to Wilma, forces her way towards the
counter again. Wilma burns.
(CONTINUED)
19.
38 CONTINUED: 38
MORRIS
Ladies, the meat's not getting any
fresher. Mrs. R, what'll it be?
BETTY
Oh, I'd like some ground mammoth
patties and uh... some dodo
drumsticks.
MORRIS
Gino? We got any dodo bird?
GINO turns, looks at his end of the counter.
GINO
There's one left -- and it's the
last one!
MORRIS
Good.
(handing him the note)
Give it to Mrs. Rubble along with
this.
Gino nods, smiling. He picks up a crate, begins to load
it with giant fryer parts and several manhole-sized meat
patties.
MORRIS
(turning to Betty)
How about you, Mrs. F?
WILMA
I just need a few things for Fred.
MORRIS
'Fred...'?
(calling into the back)
David! Herman! Get Rob and BoBo
and tell 'em to bring the big
dolly!
VOICE FROM BACK (O.S.)
Flintstone again, huh?
MORRIS
You got it. Now then... Mrs.
Slate?
(pointing at the
limo outside the
shop)
You're in a no parking zone there.
(CONTINUED)
20.
38 CONTINUED: (2) 38
MRS. SLATE
Well, if I get some service, I'll
be out of it, won't I?
Mrs. Slate steps to the counter. Meanwhile, the staff
begin using a refrigerator dolly to bring out giant ribs,
steaks and sausages which they pile up in front of Wilma.
MRS. SLATE
I want a nice fresh, juicy
chickensaurus, Morris. And not
one you've had laying around on
the shelf. I mean fresh.
MORRIS
Mrs. Slate, we're kind of busy
now --
MRS. SLATE
I don't care if you're busy. What
I care about is my adorable little
grand nephew. He's staying with
me for the summer and I intend to
make his favorite dish... Southern
fried chickensaurus! Now I want
a fresh chickensaurus and I want
it now!
MORRIS
Boys, you heard her... she said
fresh.
39 THE STAFF 39
with a sigh, they buckle on elbow and knee protectors,
go to a side door, open it. Inside is another barred
door. They open it, go inside. Immediately we hear
loud SQUAWKING and CACKLING... THUDS, BUMPS...
40 NEW ANGLE 40
Suddenly the barred door slams open and a giant chicken-
saurus comes bounding out, with Morris's staff hanging
all over it like rodeo cowboys. They try and restrain
it with ropes but it's enraged and flops around the
store.
MRS. SLATE
(oblivious of the
trouble)
Morris, while you're at it, I'd
like it plucked --
(CONTINUED)
21.
40 CONTINUED: 40
Suddenly the chickensaurus snaps the ropes, flaps its
wings and leaps through the front window --
41 EXT. BUTCHER SHOP - DAY 41
The huge bird lands with a crunch atop Mrs. Slate's car,
which is practically squashed flat. Then it disappears
around the corner. (We hear CAR HORNS and SKIDDING TIRES
as it goes.)
42 BACK TO SCENE 42
MRS. SLATE
My car -- !
Wilma and Betty try and hide their laughter.
CUT TO:
43 EXT. SLATE CONSTRUCTION - DAY 43
Clouds of dust rise from behind the fence. We see the
heads of the heavy equipment dinos rising and falling.
A two-story office building is at one end of the site
with a big "Slate Construction Inc." sign on the roof.
CAMERA ADJUSTS as Fred's car turns into the lot, Barney
seated beside Fred. The new green hood gleams in the
morning light.
44 CLOSER - FRED'S CAR 44
Fred digs his feet into the ground, slams to a halt. He
gets out, surveys the activity. Immediately, the various
workers shout AD LIB greetings. Fred acknowledges these,
beaming in the respect he gets here.
He lovingly dusts off his construction helmet, puts it on,
knocks an offending speck from his parking sign (F.
Flintstone - Shop Steward). He leads Barney towards the
quarry area.
FRED
Barney, you won't regret this --
hiya, Al -- fixing dents in cars
is one thing, a career's another.
Here, you're getting in on the
ground floor of the first footstep
of a new leaf -- hi, Wally, how's
the old backhand? And with a guy
like me ta show you the ropes, you
can skip all the red tape, all the
malarky, all the dino doo --
22.
45 NEW ANGLE 45
Fred stands near the weight station booth, where a plump
GIRL in a beehive hairdo sits inside a trailer.
GIRL
(New York accent)
Hi, Mr. Flintstone.
FRED
Hiya, Shirley. This is my very
special neighbor and pal Barney
Rubble. He needs an application
form, okay?
GIRL
Anything for you, Mr. Flintstone.
She slams down two clay tablets and a stylus.
GIRL
Here you go.
(smiling)
Thanks again for the football tickets.
My boyfriend and I both liked them.
FRED
My pleasure, Shirl. Anytime.
GIRL
Okay. But do you think next time
we could go to the same game?
FRED
(confidently)
No problem.
Fred smiles at her, hands the forms to Barney. Fres steps
towards the quarry, admires the activity, hands on hips,
master of all he surveys. He waves to more friends.
FRED
Well, Barn, what did I tell you?
When you're in with Flintstone,
you're in like Flint.
BARNEY
Gee, Fred. I knew you were a big
shot. I just didn't know how big.
Fred beams at that, and then follows Barney's gaze to
the read-out on the truck scale. Fred is standing on it
and it's pushing 250. With a scowl, Fred grabs Barney's
sleeve and they go into the quarry. As they move, the
CAMERA PANS and CRANES UP TOWARDS the window of the
Slate Construction Office.
CUT TO:
23.
46 INT. OFFICE - PULLBACK FROM WINDOW 46
The room here is dominated by a tabletop architectural
model of a large scale construction project. There's
acres of little development houses, then some tall office
buildings, a mall, you name it: There's even little foot-
powered model cars in the model parking spaces.
Near this we see MR. SLATE, a giant in the Bedrock con-
struction business (but not in height). Slate drinks
coffee from a "Boss" mug, listens with growing impatience
to JERRY LAVA. Several of Slate's lackeys listen, their
heads nodding up or down in sympathy with Slate's mer-
curial moods.
LAVA
Uncle, if you'll look at this unit
cost projection... it intersects
here with --
SLATE
-- how'd you like my fist to
intersect with your nose? I've
told you a hundred times, don't call
me uncle in the office! Now, I didn't
arrange your scholarship to Harvrock
University so you could waste my time!
So stop beating around the bushasaurus
and get to the bottom slime!
LAVA
You'll be bankrupt in six months.
Slate does a Danny Thomas spit take all over the model.
47 EXT. QUARRY - MOVING SHOT 47
Fred and Barney cross the busy lot, sidestepping workers
and animals. Fred does a lot of backslapping, waving.
Barney's filling out the forms on the move. Behind them,
we see the wide access ramp which spirals around the
quarry's sides.
BARNEY
(to himself)
Social Security number...
dependents... 'how learned of job'
... newspaper ad, carrier pigeon...
(writing)
... Personal reference...
Hearing a loud SMASH, Fred looks up and sees --
48 FRED'S POV - A WRECKING BALL OPERATOR 48
A burly and rough looking guy named PILTDOWN, he grins in-
side his dino-topping cupola, winds his winch handles and
then propels his wrecking ball towards the...
24.
49 QUARRY WALL - ABOVE 49
-- where the huge stone BALL SMASHES into some walnuts
balanced on a boulder.
50 WIDER 50
Piltdown's compact buddy PYRITE cackles, sweeps up the
walnuts. Munching them, he balances a new one in place.
(It should be noted here that the relationship and physi-
cal appearances of Piltdown and Pyrite mirrors that of
our heroes... they're sort of an anti-Fred and Barney.)
PYRITE
Way ta go, Pilty baby. Five bucks
says you can't hit one on the fly.
PILTDOWN
(calling up)
Yer on, Pyrite --
Pyrite tosses a walnut, which bounces on the ledge. The
wrecking BALL SMASHES into the stone wall.
51 BELOW 51
Workers near Fred duck as dust and debris fall down.
People grab for their construction helmets.
FRED
Not again...
Fred hustles up a ladder to a ramp which leads him up to
the level of Piltdown's cab. Barney hurries to follow.
FRED
All right, Piltdown, that's enough!
You're endangering your fellow
workers!
PILTDOWN
Yeah? Sez who?
FRED
Says me, Fred Flintstone -- shop
steward of Amalgamated Neolithic
Workers 101.
PILTDOWN
Yeah? Well, A.N.W. one-oh-one gives
us workers a snack break. So...
(a nasty grin)
... I'm breakin' some snacks.
He swings the wrecking ball again.
25.
52 UP ABOVE 52
This time he's overdone it: The wrecking ball flies past
the walnuts -- Pyrite ducks for cover -- and then the
wrecking ball whips over and around the handrail which
runs along here, twisting as tightly as Indiana Jones'
whip. The handrail wobbles dangerously in its
foundation --
53 PILTDOWN'S DINO 53
SNORTS, backs up -- the crane SUPPORTS on its back begin
to CREAK and GROAN with the strain --
54 WIDER 54
Workers scatter, fearful of the imminent collapse. Fred
runs to grab the dino's reins.
FRED
Whoa, whoa, big fella --
He calms the beast by giving it a carrot. As it munches,
Fred quickly ties the reins to a post.
FRED
(calling up to the cab)
You're on report, Piltdown! If it's
up to me you'll be pushing a
wheelbarrow!
PILTDOWN
(leaping down)
You've been asking for this,
Flintstone... I'm gonna kick your
fat butt --
FRED
Fat butt? Hold me back, Barney --
(sotto, very sincere)
-- Barney, hold me back --
Quickly the men form a circle around Piltdown and Fred.
Barney looks up and sees --
55 THE CRANE ON THE DINO'S BACK 55
It is shuddering and threatening to come crashing down.
56 BACK TO SCENE 56
BARNEY
Hey, maybe you guys oughta fix
that first.
PILTDOWN
Why should we?
(CONTINUED)
26.
56 CONTINUED: 56
BARNEY
It looks dangerous. Besides, you
can kick Fred's fat butt anytime.
FRED
Yeah. That's right.
(realizing, a glare
at Barney)
I mean -- this ain't over, Piltdown.
(turning, shouting)
Come on, guys. Let's clean up the
mess.
With much grumbling, ropes and grappling hooks are
gathered and the crew hops to it...
57 INT. SLATE'S OFFICE - SAME TIME 57
Slate stands in a blubbering fury as Lava mops coffee up
from the model and Slate's face.
SLATE
Bankrupt? Are you crazy?
Lava holds up a clay tablet covered with figures.
LAVA
It's all here in hack and slice.
When you committed to this housing
development the price of dino kibble
was a few clams per ton. Since then,
it's gone up a hundredfold.
(indicating the model)
You can't build a project like this
without the heavy equipment dinos,
and we can't afford to feed those
dinos.
Slate glowers, paces around the model.
SLATE
I'm two months behind schedule, my
option's running out on the land
and Donald Trumprock is just waiting
to jump in and steal the whole deal
... meanwhile that damn union's on
my back, hell, they'll probably want
an eighty hour week or something...
(frustrated)
There's got to be an answer...
A LOUD COMMOTION outside the window attracts everyone's
attention.
(CONTINUED)
27.
57 CONTINUED: 57
SLATE
What's that?
LAVA
(worried)
Sounds like a worker's comp claim
if I ever heard one...
All rush to the window. They look out and see --
58 THE QUARRY - WIDE 58
Supervised by Fred, all the workers are straining on the
ropes to haul the rear legs of the crane back into their
sockets on the back of the big dino. Only the last
critical rope is still dangling.
FRED
Barney! Grab that line! Hurry!
Barney scrambles up Fred's back, shoving a foot in Fred's
face, but finally snatching the rope. He pulls on it...
Fred throws his own weight into the effort...
59 THE CRANE 59
THUDS into place on the dino's back -- the workers cheer --
60 THE WRECKING BALL 60
alas, with its cable now twisted shorter, it's become an
immovable object, and as the shortened CABLE SNAPS, the
wrecking ball begins to roll down the quarry wall.
61 NEW ANGLE 61
Men and ANIMALS YELP and dive out of the way as the BALL
rolls downwards, SMASHING everything in its path.
62 EXT. SLATE'S OFFICE WINDOW 62
The executives watch concerned as --
63 THE WRECKING BALL 63
tumbles down, down, knocking scaffolding and ladders
aside, reaches the end of a ramp, and drops through the
air right onto --
64 THE HOOD OF FRED'S CAR 64
-- where, astonishingly, the HOOD sinks in resiliently
like a trampoline and then with a loud "SPROING" the
wrecking ball flies straight back up into the air,
followed a beat behind by the unhinged hood itself.
Both hurtle TOWARDS the CAMERA --
28.
65 SLATE AND EXECUTIVES 65
react fearfully as they realize all this is coming
straight for them. With a howl, they all dive aside --
66 INT. SLATE'S OFFICE - WIDER - DAY 66
The wrecking BALL flies through the window, SLAMS onto
Slate's desk, crushing everything in its path and then
sails on SMASHING right into --
67 THE MODEL DEVELOPMENT 67
-- where all of the lined up HIGH RISES SMASH ASIDE with
a sound like falling pins.
68 IN THE QUARRY 68
The workers pick themselves up and now their eyes follow
the path taken by the long-gone wrecking ball.
FRED
Oh boy. Goodbye pension fund --
They rush for the office building.
69 INT. SLATE'S OFFICE - DAY 69
Dust is still settling. The staff rises from the mess,
coughing. Lava rummages in the debris, finds a stiff
body.
LAVA
Uncle, Uncle, speak to me --
But it's only a statue of a golfer from one of Slate's
trophies.
SLATE
(sitting up)
I'm over here, you moron -- and
don't call me 'Uncle'!
Slate's eyes fall on Fred's car hood, swinging from a
bookshelf. He reaches for it -- pulls it -- it stays
put, and only releases a new deluge of rubble and plaster
which reburies him. At the same time, the door slams
open and Fred, Barney and the other workers tumble inside.
70 THEIR POV - OFFICE 70
As they take in the destruction. Barney notices the
wrecking ball amidst the model buildings. As we watch,
the last remaining little HIGH RISE FALLS.
(CONTINUED)
29.
70 CONTINUED: 70
BARNEY
Hey, nice going, Fred. You even
got the spare --
FRED
Barney, shut up --
(turning)
Mr. Slate -- Mr. Slate -- are you
all right?
Slate staggers to his feet, seething with fury. He
finally yanks the car hood free. It bounces and VIBRATES
in his hands like a hand saw.
SLATE
(eying the men)
For five years Slate Construction
has had the finest safety record
in Bedrock.
(pacing, angry)
Our workers are trained in first
aid, our equipment is first rate
and our dinos are worm free. And
then something like this happens
... I want to know how!
A cacophony of voices starts to answer.
SLATE
Shut up!
(in the sudden silence)
I want one person to answer me:
(waving the car hood)
Who's responsible for this?
71 PILTDOWN 71
nudges the wrecking ball off the edge of the table. It
falls on Fred's foot. Fred starts to scream and Piltdown
shoves a pencil holder into his mouth.
PILTDOWN
(quickly)
It was Flintstone, Mr. Slate!
PYRITE
That's right, Mr. Slate, it was
Flintstone!
BARNEY
That's a lie, Mr. Slate!
SLATE
Who are you?
(CONTINUED)
30.
71 CONTINUED: 71
BARNEY
(pointing to his forms)
B. Rubble. White male personal
reference --
SLATE
(pushing Barney aside)
Flintstone, I have just one thing
to say to you --
Fred cringes. Piltdown and Pyrite smirk.
SLATE
(pumping his hand)
Congratulations!
FRED PILTDOWN
Huh? What?
SLATE
This stuff you had on your car is
the most incredible building
material I've seen in thirty years
in the construction business!
(testing it)
It's strong --
(twirling it)
-- Light --
(bending it)
-- Resilient --
It rebounds, "SPROINGING" him on the chin. He recovers,
shakes it off.
SLATE
Where on earth did you get it?
FRED
Oh, it's ah, just something I
whipped up in the old garage
workshop --
(quickly)
-- with a little help from my
buddy Barney, right, Barn?
BARNEY
Well, actually, Fred, it was the
other way ar--
Fred hisses between his teeth, repeats the "Slate and me
are just like this" gesture he made earlier, points at
Slate.
(CONTINUED)
31.
71 CONTINUED: (2) 71
BARNEY
(reluctant)
Sure, Fred, right, right.
Slate nods, distracted, his eyes and hands running over
the smooth lines of the car hood.
SLATE
The rest of you men go back to work.
I want to talk to Flintstone and
the personal reference alone. Come
on, move, move...
They go out, Piltdown looking furious.
SLATE
(a man in love)
Light as a Pterodactyl feather...
why, a child could handle this...
Lava, we could cut construction
costs in half... in quarters... in
uh... whatchacallit --
LAVA
(patiently)
Eighths --
SLATE
Eighths, right. Flintstone, what
do you call this stuff?
FRED
Well, Mr. Slate, I call it --
(hesitating, sotto)
-- Barney, what do I call it?
BARNEY
(sotto)
Fibrerock, Fred...
FRED
-- I call it Fibrerock Fred -- !
(realizing)
I mean, ah, 'Fibrerock'!
SLATE
(rolling it over
his tongue)
'Fibrerock'? 'Fibrerock'?
(playing with it)
'Fib-bre-rock' --
Slate's staff make disparaging noises.
(CONTINUED)
32.
71 CONTINUED: (3) 71
SLATE
I love it!
SLATE'S STAFF
(instantly reversing
themselves)
Love it... great... has a nice
ring... says it all, you know?
(Etc...)
Slate takes the piece of material, leans it on the table
so it catches the light. Despite himself, Lava comes
over, examines the car hood... can't help but marvel at
it as well. Meanwhile, Slate puts his arms around Fred
and Barney.
SLATE
(to Lava)
You see this, Lava? All those
courses of yours at Harvrock
University, and who saves my bacon?
Two simple-minded run-of-the-mill
nobodies.
BARNEY
Gee, thanks, Mr. Slate.
Lava glowers. Slate pulls Fred and Barney close with
genuine excitement.
SLATE
Boys, this is a small step for
Slate Construction... a giant step
for all mankind.
He points to the translucent material. CAMERA TIGHTENS
ON it. We see Fred, Barney and Slate's reflections in it.
SLATE
(dramatically)
The Stone Age is over! Let the
Fibre Age begin!
As HEROIC MUSIC STINGS IN, we...
CUT TO:
72 BETTY'S CAR - TRAVELING - DAY 72
Mrs. Slate is in back, crammed in with groceries. Betty
pulls up in front of a building that looks like a Palm
Springs spa. This is "L'ECOLE DES ENFANTS PREHISTORIQUE
HAUTE SUPERIOR."
(CONTINUED)
33.
72 CONTINUED: 72
BETTY
Here we are, Mrs. Slate. Sorry you
had to ride in the back.
MRS. SLATE
(getting out)
Not at all. I'm used to being
driven around.
And she's sashaying up the path. Betty and Wilma burn,
then follow her.
73 INT. SCHOOL - DAY 73
As elegant as we can get MMMCXV years before Louis XIV.
As the three women come in, we see CHILDREN with alliga-
tors on their deerskin shirts singing:
CHILDREN
'La hachette de ma tante
est sur le roche de mon oncle -- '
HEADMISTRESS
(coming over, gushing)
Madame Mrs. Slate, bonjour!
Welcome to L'ecole des Enfants
Prehistorique Haute Superior!
MRS. SLATE
Thank you, Marie.
(showing a rock receipt)
I ordered the hors d'oeuvres for
the junior talent show. They were
out of Ceolanth caviar so I got
Mastodon brie instead. Oh, ah,
these are my, uh, friends, Wilma
Flintstein --
WILMA
Flintstone --
MRS. SLATE
-- oh, it used to be Flintstein -- ?
And this is ah, Becky... Betty!
The Headmistress reaches over, takes their hands
gracefully.
HEADMISTRESS
Enchante.
WILMA
I'm sure.
(CONTINUED)
34.
73 CONTINUED: 73
BETTY
Likewise.
HEADMISTRESS
(waving a hand)
Well, Madame Slate, as you can see,
we remain ze creme de la creme in
the croissant of life known as
Bedrock. Now, your leetle gran'
nephew will be wiz us for two weeks,
no?
(opening a drawer)
Here is ze application for him. An'
mais oui, he weel participate in zee
annual talent show, naturalment?
Mrs. Slate takes the parchment application. Meanwhile
the Headmistress looks appraisingly at Wilma and Betty.
HEADMISTRESS
An' your friends perhaps would like
zum school applications for zere
enfants?
MRS. SLATE
(amused)
Them? Oh, Marie, really, you don't
understand --
BETTY
(suddenly)
That's right, you don't understand.
My husband's business manager usually
handles this sort of thing, but I
don't mind.
And to Wilma's astonishment, Betty takes one of the
parchments.
BETTY
I know Bam-Bam --
(correcting herself)
-- pardonez-moi, 'Bem-Bem' will love
attending your school and performing
in the talent show. Thank you oh
so much.
She gives Mrs. Slate an even and controlled look, and
sends some of it over in Wilma's direction as well.
Wilma makes her choice, smiles tightly.
WILMA
Let me have one of those, too. For
ma petite Pebbles.
(CONTINUED)
35.
73 CONTINUED: (2) 73
HEADMISTRESS
Of course. Any friend of Madame
Slate is a friend of mine.
As Mrs. Slate reacts, we --
CUT TO:
74 INT. CAR - FRED AND BARNEY - NIGHT 74
They're cruising along. Fred puffs on a cigar. Barney
flips the pile of legal sized tablets in his lap. In the
back seat are some boxes and bundles.
BARNEY
Gee, Fred, I don't believe it.
Eight hours ago I didn't have a
job and now look -- I got 1/2 of
one percent of the after-taxes
after-expenses net breakage profits
on Fibrerock!
FRED
Just be thankful I was there to go
over the fine print.
(full of himself)
It's like I told you this morning
-- There's something noble about a
man digging in with his hands and
doing an honest day's work. Once
you file those dreams under 'old
business' and put your nose to the
plow, well, the world is your
oyster. And was I right?
BARNEY
No, Fred, you weren't. I didn't
nose any grindstones and you didn't
shoulder a wheel. We just hung out
together and everything that
happened was a total accident.
FRED
(after a moment)
Details, Barney, details...
(smiling)
I just can't wait to see the girls'
faces when we tell 'em the news...
75 INT. FLINTSTONE HOUSE - NIGHT 75
The girls' frowns are a great contrast to their husbands'
smiles. Wilma's looking at the school enrollment forms.
Betty paces, looks at the clock.
(CONTINUED)
36.
75 CONTINUED: 75
WILMA
(seeing this)
It's not like the boys to be so
late.
BETTY
Unless they were forced to go
bowling again. Remember that time
a burglar pointed a gun at them
and said, 'go bowling right now'?
WILMA
Betty, sometimes you're a little
too gullible --
BETTY
Don't tell me. I still can't
believe what I did today...
WILMA
No kidding.
(indicating the forms)
Do you have any idea of what the
enrollment fee is? And get this...
it's non-refundable --
BETTY
I know, I know! I just couldn't
stand that woman's attitude! But
we had to find a new school anyway,
and there we were... the next thing
I knew, I was in over my head...
but why did you jump in, too?
WILMA
Oh, she was getting to me too with
all that mastodon snort about her
little nephew... and...
BETTY
And?
WILMA
And... if a friend can't help you
do something stupid, who can?
Betty smiles, touched. Then reality intrudes again.
BETTY
What do we tell the boys?
WILMA
What's wrong with the truth?
(CONTINUED)
37.
75 CONTINUED: (2) 75
BETTY
We put ourselves in debt so the
kids can attend school with a
family we can't stand?
WILMA
(pause)
Maybe we could rephrase it...
Suddenly the door bursts open. Fred and Barney run in
with candy and flowers.
FRED AND BARNEY
Surprise!
Pause.
BETTY
Flowers?
WILMA
Rock candy? That's nice, but...
why?
FRED
Why? Oh, me and Barn, we suddenly
realized that we had a little spare
change.
WILMA
(sotto)
Not anymore you don't...
BARNEY
(presenting flowers)
Betty, these are for you. For
sticking beside me during the
tough times, and well... for
making a little guy feel like he
was ten feet tall.
BETTY
Aw, Barney... I... I don't deserve
these. I did something really
stupid today.
BARNEY
Hey. Fred does something stupid
every day and I still love him.
Fred laughs good naturedly, grabs Barney in a headlock.
FRED
Noogy, noogy, ha, ha -- !
(CONTINUED)
38.
75 CONTINUED: (3) 75
WILMA
(observing this)
Have you been drinking?
In reply, Fred whips a bottle of champagne into view.
FRED
Ready when you are.
(noticing the label)
Hey, '1'... a good year.
This confuses the girls even more.
WILMA
Fred, there's no easy way to say
this so --
She closes her eyes, swings the enrollment forms over on
the table so that Fred and Barney can read them.
Fred and Barney look at them, look at each other... and
yawn.
76 FAVORING WILMA AND BETTY 76
They can't believe this.
BETTY
Boys... did you see... the dollar
signs there at the bottom?
WILMA
The non-refundable dollar signs?
BARNEY
Plenty more where that came from.
FRED
We see your dollar signs, ladies...
and...
He tosses his stone contracts on top of the parchment
ones with a THUD.
FRED
... we raise them.
Wilma and Betty look at each other, then at the contracts.
They blink, look again.
WILMA
Betty... these... these look...
real --
(CONTINUED)
39.
76 CONTINUED: 76
Fred opens the champagne, which foams all over them. The
girls squeal.
FRED
You bet they're real, sweetheart.
They're as real as... as... well,
as real as --
(embracing the group)
-- the best darn friends and
neighbors in the whole world.
Barney squeezes back.
BARNEY
Yeah. And nothing's ever gonna
change that... right, Fred?
FRED
(emotionally)
Right, pal o'mine.
As they laugh and the girls slowly absorb the truth,
we --
CUT TO:
77 EXT. WATER BUFFALO LODGE - NIGHT 77
A sign proclaims this as "GRAND BEDROCK LODGE -- LOYAL
ORDER OF WATER BUFFALO." The parking lot outside is full
of vehicles. We hear the sound of a GAVEL BANGING...
HERDMASTER (V.O.)
Attention, fellow Water Buffaloes...
78 INT. WATER BUFFALO LODGE - NIGHT 78
The members are milling about the main room, schmoozing,
drinking, kibitzing. All wear the furry and horned
ceremonial Fez of the Buffalo.
One wall of the lodge displays a big version of the lodge
coat of arms (with the motto "Ackus Ackus Adackus" below);
a trophy case holds a mind boggling display of various
bowling trophies, balls and pins. At the lectern, the
HERDMASTER (a mustachioed, inspirational type) bangs
again for order.
HERDMASTER
Brothers, your attention!
It quiets a bit. He clears his throat, raises his chin,
and gives a strange mournful bellow.
(CONTINUED)
40.
78 CONTINUED: 78
HERDMASTER
("ritual" type tone)
The herd is now called to the
prairie.
(holding fingers
above ears)
Antlers... up!
The entire Lodge dutifully imitates this gesture.
ENTIRE GROUP
Ack-ack-a-dack!
HERDMASTER
(banging gavel)
This meeting of the Water
Buffaloes is now in session.
Sergeant-at-Arms, have we got any
old business?
Barney stands, acknowledges his friends and Lodge
brothers.
BARNEY
Indeed we do, Brother Herdmaster.
Tonight we are to hear speeches
from prospective candidates for
Lodge offices, such as good old
Fred and some other guys.
79 PILTDOWN 79
Seated across the room with Pyrite and other cronies, he
immediately leaps to his feet, paws the ground, and gives
an eerie moan even stranger than the Herdmaster's earlier
call to order.
80 BACK TO SCENE 80
After the CRY ECHOES away:
HERDMASTER
Brother Piltdown: You have given
the Cry of the Gelded Buffalo at
the Poisoned Water Hole. Do you
wish to file an objection?
PILTDOWN
You bet I do. How come Flintstone
is 'good old Fred' and me and the
other candidates are just 'some
other guys'?
PYRITE
Yeah, how come?
(CONTINUED)
41.
80 CONTINUED: 80
BARNEY
(rising)
My apologies, Brother Piltdown.
Allow me to rephrase. Tonight we
will hear speeches from a whole
bunch of good old guys...
(pause)
... plus the one and only Fred
Flintstone!
Cheers go up, which drown out Piltdown's renewed cry of
the poisoned water hole. Fred moves towards the podium
as the noise dies down.
81 NEW ANGLE 81
Barney moves to the wall, where he pulls a rolled up
tapestry from a hiding place behind a plant. He tacks it
to the wall, yanks a string. It unrolls. It's a big
"VOTE FOR FRED FLINTSTONE" poster.
Barney turns, gives Fred a "thumbs up," and as he does,
Barney's hand brushes against a folded parchment in his
pocket. Barney pushes his way through the seats, catches
up to Fred and hands him the document. Fred takes it,
continues up to the podium. There, the Herdmaster hands
Fred the ceremonial hoof and antler, crossed over each
other like a Pharaoh's badges of office.
Fred does a Papal-like wave with these, sets them down,
and unrolls the crib notes Barney gave him.
FRED
(reading, at first
wooden, then
confident)
Brother Buffaloes, honored
Herdmaster, Junior Bucks and
Apprentice Antlers, a great good
evening to you all. Ahem. As you
know, our organization has survived
difficult times that have seen the
extinction of such other lodges as
the Order of Whooping Cranes and
Brotherhood of Giant Sloths. But
we here have come through the croo
... the crux...
BARNEY
(hissing)
-- crucible --
(CONTINUED)
42.
81 CONTINUED: 81
FRED
(grateful)
-- crucible with our fur fluffy
and our hooves unscathed. Now,
the future holds many promises and
many problems. As your next
Herdmaster, I would bring to you
the same determination, courage
and -- if I may say so -- bold
thinking that I have brought to
the workplace. Thank you, and
ack ack a-dack.
Applause follows Fred's return to the floor.
82 PILTDOWN AND PYRITE 82
The only ones in their row not clapping, they scowl as
Fred passes them...
CUT TO:
83 INT. LODGE - RECREATION AREA - LATER 83
WIDEN as Barney propels a bowling ball (stone, of course)
rumbling down the alley, sending pins flying. The
Buffaloes cheer Barney's strike. We notice that most (if
not all) of these Lodge members also work at the quarry.
84 AUTOMATIC PIN SPOTTER 84
It descends. It consists of a bent snout creature which
"cranks" down a shelf with several monkeys on it. The
monkeys grab the pins with their tails, straighten them
up. Then the shelf cranks back up.
85 OTHER END OF ALLEY 85
Now it's Fred's turn. He trots up to the line, bowls...
another strike! More cheers, AD LIB complaints, etc.
The scorekeeper picks up hammer and chisel and fills out
the last frame.
LODGE MEMBER
Congratulations, Fred.
FRED
Hey, when you're hot you're hot...
boys, lemme buy a round of drinks
for everyone.
BARNEY
Thanks, Fred, but here at the
lodge drinks are free.
(CONTINUED)
43.
85 CONTINUED: 85
FRED
But the principle is the same,
Barn. Don't forget that.
Fred leads the group over to the bar. Piltdown and
Pyrite come along with a shrug... why not, for a brew?
Fred reaches --
86 UNDER THE COUNTER 86
where he pulls out a hook-beaked little LIZARD --
87 BACK TO SCENE 87
Fred uses this creature to open several beers.
FRED
(during this)
Here you go, boys, nice and
frosty...
"BOTTLE OPENER" CREATURE (LIZARD)
(aside)
Go ahead, laugh. If I had a good
orthodontist, my life woulda been
different...
Fred tosses the "Opener" aside --
88 UNDER THE COUNTER 88
The critter bounces into the shelf, slides... when it re-
covers, it realizes that its overbite has been straightened
out by the impact. Very happy, it grabs a hat and coat,
exits.
89 BACK TO SCENE 89
FRED
(raising drink)
Well, here's to...
He looks around, sees --
90 "PHOTO" ON WALL 90
It's actually "dots" chipped into a stone. It shows the
young Fred, Barney and others gathered around soapbox
racers. A banner reads "Junior Buffalo Day."
44.
91 BACK TO SCENE 91
FRED
Here's to the greatest bunch of
lifelong Buffaloes a guy could
dream of leading.
(an obvious prompt)
Anybody else got a toast...?
BARNEY
'Here's to the Water Buffalo and
their next Herdmaster... Fred'!
FRED
Aw, gee, Barn... you shouldn't say
that...
(winking)
... at least not till after next
week's election!
LODGE MEMBER
Fred, what was all that stuff in
your speech about the workplace?
I thought the only decision you
made there was how many lunches to
eat --
Laughter. Fred accepts it good-naturedly, reaches into
his pocket.
FRED
Well, Harry, it just so happens
that old Fred is moving up in the
world... Boys, you're looking at
Mr. Slate's new partner.
PILTDOWN
You and Slate? Who are you
kidding, Flintstone? The only
partner you got is hanging over
your belt.
Pyrite laughs, a bit too much.
FRED
Prepare to eat those words,
Piltdown.
PILTDOWN
-- If I don't, you will --
FRED
(a tight smile)
Gentlemen, my card --
He passes them out, and the others take them, curious --
45.
92 INSERT - CARD 92
Of course it's a little stone tablet... but it does
indeed say "SLATE CONSTRUCTION -- F. FLINTSTONE,
ASSISTANT JR. V.P. -- PUBLIC RELATIONS."
93 BACK TO SCENE 93
LODGE MEMBERS
(AD LIB, impressed)
Hey, way ta go, Fred... Whoa,
gonna switch from a hard hat to
a top hat, Freddy boy...?
PYRITE
(examining the card)
Ah, it's probably a phony...
Saying this, he bites down on it... winces as a tooth
cracks.
94 BARNEY 94
tugs Fred's sleeve, pulls him close.
BARNEY
Gee, Fred, how come I didn't get
any business cards?
FRED
Barney, it's all part of the plan.
(to the others)
Yes, boys, you see, I went up to
my pal, Mister Slate and single-
handedly made him an offer he
couldn't refuse --
(Barney reacts to the "single-handedly" --)
FRED
-- 'Freddy boy,' he sez to me,
'We gotta talk turkey -- '
BARNEY
Fred, we gotta talk turkey --
FRED
That's right -- just like that --
BARNEY
Fred -- !
Fred realizes Barney's got something on his mind.
FRED
Ah, excuse us, boys...
46.
95 NEW ANGLE 95
Fred pulls Barney into a quiet corridor. They stand near
a trophy case. There's some bowling trophies here with
a variety of names on them. (There's also trophies for
"pie-eating contests" and "beer drinking chug-offs";
these have only Fred's name on them.)
BARNEY
Fred... what's this single-handed
stuff? I distinctly remember at
least four hands and two of them
were mine.
FRED
(lowered voice)
Barney, we could tell everyone how
you invented this Fibrerock stuff,
how Slate and Lava found out about
it by accident and all, but what
would that be?
BARNEY
The truth?
FRED
This is big business, Barney. We
can't start telling the truth,
it'd create the wrong impression.
Think about all the really big
deals in history -- back to the
beginning of recorded time.
Barney knits his brow in thought for maybe three seconds.
BARNEY
Okay.
FRED
What do they all have in common?
(as Barney is
stumped)
I'll tell you. A front man. A
guy who's out in the public eye
running the point, fighting the
crowds... and meanwhile... back
in the corner is the silent
partner.
BARNEY
I never knew that.
FRED
That's because the silent partner
is always silent.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
47.
95 CONTINUED: 95
FRED (CONT'D)
But while you're busy being
silent --
(conspiratorially)
-- all along you're the brains
behind the operation and I'm the
brains in front of the operation.
I'm out here running the guts of
the operation but you got a cut.
It looks like my mind, but you're
really behind.
BARNEY
I get it. I got the brains, but
you just pretend to have them.
FRED
Attaboy!
And a confident Fred shakes hands with an unsure "silent
partner"...
CUT TO:
96 EXT. FLINTSTONE/RUBBLE HOUSES - DAY 96
Barney comes out of his front door, heads toward the
neighboring driveway and Fred's car. Betty comes out,
calls to her husband.
BETTY
Barney, wait a minute...
97 CLOSER 97
He stops, turns. Betty comes over and we see he's wear-
ing a sports jacket and an abysmally-tied tie. Betty
fixes the knot.
BETTY
There. That looks more like a
captain of industry.
BARNEY
Thanks, Betty. What would I do
without you?
BETTY
Hmm. Probably run off to the
tropics with one of those
executive secretaries.
(CONTINUED)
48.
97 CONTINUED: 97
BARNEY
Come on, Betty, it's only my
first day. You have to have
seniority to run off...
She giggles, kisses him.
98 FRED 98
is at the car door, lunch pail in hand, when Wilma calls
out to him.
WILMA
Fred! Wait a minute! There's
something wrong with your lunch --
FRED
("weighing it")
Yeah... it does feel a little
light...
He returns to her, opens the pail, is surprised to find
it's empty. Before he can comment, she smilingly
presents him with a spanking new briefcase. "F.F" is
embossed on it in gold.
WILMA
Fit for a king... my king.
FRED
Aw, Wilma... lookit, it's got
buckles, a strap, a lock --
He opens it. Inside is a huge drumstick and some ribs.
FRED
-- Baby, you're the greatest.
WILMA
(kissing him)
Good luck.
(pause)
Watch out for those... you know...
hostile takeovers.
FRED
I'm already taken.
He moves to the car.
FRED
Ah, Mister Rubble, I presume?
Of the Fibrerock Rubbles?
(CONTINUED)
49.
98 CONTINUED: 98
BARNEY
Yes, yes. Looking good, Mister
Flintstone. I see you've
recovered from that polo accident.
FRED
Yas, yas. The water was too
deep and my horse drowned.
They crack up at their own wit, drive off.
CUT TO:
99 SLATE QUARRY - LAVA'S OFFICE - DAY 99
Lava's on the phone, very worried.
LAVA
Ivan, look, okay, so I bought too
much on margin... everyone said
glaciers were here to stay, I
mean, who knew? Just leverage my
shares in Atlantis dry goods and
-- what? When did that happen?
Piltdown enters, knocks on the open door.
PILTDOWN
Mister Lava, the armored car is
here.
LAVA
Armored car...?
PILTDOWN
Yeah. Must be a fortune in
coo-coo berries on that baby.
You know, for that Fibrerock
stuff of Flintstone and Rubble's.
You gotta sign here for it.
LAVA
(into phone)
I... I'll get back to you.
Lava comes over, signs the form. Meanwhile he looks out
the window at --
100 HIS POV - ARMORED CAR 100
The guards are unloading sacks of coo-coo berries.
50.
101 BACK TO SCENE 101
Lava signs the form, meanwhile looking Piltdown up and
down. Finally --
LAVA
Piltdown, this Fibrerock program
is going to create a lot of
changes around the plant. I want
to make one more. You've been a
wonderful thug and goon for me.
Now, I'd like to expand your
duties. I want you to become a
provocateur.
PILTDOWN
Gee, Mister Lava, I donno. I
kinda like girls myself.
LAVA
(patiently)
What I mean, is, I'm going to use
you to double-cross your Lodge and
Union brothers, and make their
lives a living hell.
PILTDOWN
Oh, okay.
LAVA
Good. You and your little pal
will report directly to me and
take orders only from me.
(slapping him on
the back)
Now get out of here and start
screwing your former friends and
associates.
Piltdown leaves, smiling. Lava rubs his chin,
thoughtful.
LAVA
Coo-coo berries...
CUT TO:
102 EXT. QUARRY - DAY 102
Fred and Barney appear in Fred's car, make a very quick
turn into the quarry lot.
103 CLOSER 103
They both duck down behind the wheel. A moment later,
Feldspar's patrol car comes barrelling by.
(CONTINUED)
51.
103 CONTINUED: 103
Feldspar looks every which way, doesn't spot them.
BARNEY
(when he's gone)
Gee, Fred, driving with you is
better than an 'E' ticket at
Magerock Mountain.
FRED
(getting out)
Gets the old adrenaline going,
Barn. Us big executives, we need
that kind of jolt to get the old
wheels turning.
Lava comes INTO VIEW, carrying an armload of plans.
LAVA
Flintstone! Rubble!
BARNEY
Oh, hi, Mister Lava.
LAVA
Please, call me Jerry. Uncle --
I mean, Mister Slate told me to
take you to your offices. If
you'll follow me...?
They move along. Fred notices a hotbed of activity
nearby. Workers move scaffolding, animals labor.
FRED
Hey. What's going on?
LAVA
The Fibrerock assembly line.
Unc -- Mister Slate's had a crew
working on it all weekend. We're
going to roll out the first sheets
of Fibrerock by mid-week.
FRED
Yes, yes. Quick, dynamic entry
into the marketplace. I approve.
BARNEY
But, Fred, it's right where the
employee basketball court used
ta be --
(CONTINUED)
52.
103 CONTINUED: (2) 103
FRED
Hey, you're right...
(resigned)
... Big business is hell, Barney.
Trust me... you'll get used to it.
BARNEY
I guess so. You already did.
Lava leads them to a wood-sided trailer.
LAVA
Well, gentlemen, here you are. As
soon as you're settled, come over
to the assembly line. We'll go
over the Fibrerock formula before
the first run.
He goes off. Fred and Barney go --
104 INSIDE TRAILER 104
There're two tiny little desks at the far end, separated
by a flimsy divider. The single window here looks out
over the quarry scrap heap. (As we watch, somebody dumps
a load of debris.)
Threadbare furniture on a worn rug sits under a portrait
of "Our Founder" (Slate).
105 BACK TO SCENE 105
Fred and Barney look at all this in turn. Pause. Then
they whirl, give each other high-fives.
BARNEY
All-right!
FRED
Welcome to the top -- partner.
And as they shake, we --
CUT TO:
106 MONTAGE - ASSEMBLY LINE - DAY 106
Now, accompanied by heroic "industrial"-type MUSIC, we
see the Fibrerock assembly line in full operation.
This cannot be described now with appropriate justice,
but it involves a series of animal-powered conveyor
belts, Rube Goldberg-like funnels, spouts and chutes,
and all sorts of gadgets, gizmos, bells and whistles,
to wit:
(CONTINUED)
53.
106 CONTINUED: 106
At one end of the building, dino-powered dumpsters and
lifters drop off all the ingredients; these get stomped/
chewed/bashed and otherwise reduced to powder, which is
then (courtesy of some squirting Mastodans) mixed with
water into a foam, which bubbles through a long sawmill-
type trough and is held back by a gate.
Meanwhile, we see a sample item (in this case, a stone
sofa) as it is placed before two "goatasauruses" which
butt heads and smash the sofa between the two halves of
a clay mold. When the mold is opened and the sofa tossed
aside, Barney appears and personally "aims" the foam
trough at a funnel in the top of the mold. Pausing to
"taste" the mix, he smiles, then shouts --
BARNEY
Ready... aim... fibre!
Barney pulls a rope which opens the trough. "Fibrefoam"
pours into the mold.
107 THE CLAY MOLD 107
gets "winched" unpwards by monkeys, and then an alliga-
torsaurus whaps it with its tail.
108 BELOW 108
Presto! A Fibrerock copy of the stone sofa drops neatly
out of the mold, bounces lightly on the conveyor belt
below! It sparkles with the tell-tale celadon-green
shimmer of Fibrerock. As it chugs along, the process
repeats, and soon a score of identical sofas is in view.
109 END OF ASSEMBLY LINE 109
as a beaming Fred watches, workers easily stack the
Fibrerock sofas (often one-handed). Nearby, we see
Fibrerock window frames, doors, chairs, etc.
110 UP ANGLE - SLATE'S OFFICE BALCONY 110
Slate and Lava watch the progress, dollar signs in their
eyes.
DISSOLVE TO:
111 LONG MATTE SHOT - SLATE QUARRY - LATE AFTERNOON 111
Fibrerock products are stacked up everywhere, stretching
away like the inventory in Charles Foster Kane's
warehouse.
We see everything from Fibrerock bricks to Fibrerock
table lamps to Fibrerock toilets. MUSIC OUT.
54.
112 CLOSER - QUARRY YARD 112
Fred and Barney, weary, approach each other, shake hands
as they view the day's incredible output. Other weary,
but proud workers gather around them: Mr. Slate is about
to address them from his office balcony.
SLATE
Men, this is a proud day for Slate
Construction. You have seen the
first pieces of Fibrerock roll
off the assembly line and into
history... a history you are all
part of... thanks to your very
own fellow worker, Fred Flintstone!
113 WORKERS - FAVORING FRED AND BARNEY 113
They cheer Slate's remarks, pat Fred on the back.
114 BACK TO SCENE 114
SLATE
No longer will man and beast bend
under the backbreaking load of
stone and rock and timber...
because Fibrerock is so light
that even a child can handle it.
(pause)
That's why on Monday we're going
to hire two dozen children from
Bedrock Technical Junior High.
They'll be replacing the 36
heavy equipment operators, 15
shaft diggers and 22 laborers
we're laying off today. Your
pink slips will be in your final
pay envelopes along with a ticket
to the grand opening of Slate
City. It's non-transferable,
so hang on to it. Thank you, and
have a nice weekend.
115 THE QUARRY YARD 115
The workers stand slack-jawed and stunned.
WORKER #1
Laid off --?
WORKER #2
Pink slip --?
WORKER #3
Thanks to Fred Flintstone?
(CONTINUED)
55.
115 CONTINUED: 115
WORKER #4
Flintstone! What kinda shop
steward are you?
All eyes swivel and bore into Fred, who is as shocked as
anyone.
BARNEY
Fred. You gotta do something
about this!
FRED
I do?
(realizing)
I mean, I do, yeah!
He squares his shoulders, marches off.
BARNEY
(proudly)
That's my Fred...
116 INT. SLATE'S OFFICE - DAY 116
Slate is practicing hitting golf balls into an automatic
putting cup. Lava and some office workers are checking
a blueprint against a model of "Slate City" which is made
out of Fibrerock. A ball shoots back at Slate, who tees
up again.
117 INSIDE THE PUTTING CUP 117
A little MOUSE in a complete hockey outfit jumps to catch
the ball. Stopping it with his little hockey stick, the
Mouse gasps, raises its hockey mask.
MOUSE
Whew. And it's still pre-season.
He whaps the ball to Slate again.
118 BACK TO SCENE 118
Slate tees up the ball again. Fred barges in, banging
the door. Startled, Slate drives the ball instead of
putting it. It sails across the room and SHATTERS a
PICTURE of Mrs. Slate.
SLATE
(furious)
Flintstone!
(CONTINUED)
56.
118 CONTINUED: 118
FRED
(undeterred)
Mr. Slate -- we gotta talk --
SLATE
We do, eh? About what?
FRED
About those guys outside, Mr.
Slate. Some of 'em, well, they
been here for years. And you,
well, you can't lay them off just
like --
(snapping fingers)
-- that!
Slate looks at Lava, who shrugs. Slate looks back at
Fred, stays surprisingly calm. He toys with the putter,
balances it on his palm.
SLATE
Of course I can, Fred. I can lay
them off like --
(snapping fingers)
-- that, or like --
(a different style
snap)
-- that, or like --
He does a really nifty snap which combines with a buck-
and-wing with the putter.
SLATE
-- that.
FRED
(bravura slipping)
Oh, you can, huh?
LAVA
Of course he can, Flintstone.
It's his quarry.
SLATE
(still calm, warm)
That's right. Why --
(chuckling)
I could lock the front door and go
fishing if I wanted!
Lava laughs along with the office staff and Slate. Fred
chuckles a little to fit in.
(CONTINUED)
57.
118 CONTINUED: (2) 118
SLATE
(winking)
Why, I could even fire Lava here
if I wanted.
Lava quivers with mock surprise. Everyone really laughs,
now.
SLATE
Or...
(wiping away a tear)
I could fire you, Fred.
FRED
(guffawing)
Me! Ah, ha, that's rich, Mr.
Slate, that's --
Suddenly Fred stops laughing.
SLATE
Flintstone, Lava, here,
recommended that you be in charge
of public relations to get
Fibrerock off to a good start.
I'm a member of that public,
Flintstone, and I have to say...
this isn't a good start. I'm
getting a bad feeling about
Fibrerock. A bad feeling about...
you. You want that feeling to go
away, don't you?
FRED
Uh... well, gee, I... uh, yeah.
SLATE
Good. Then turn around and walk
out of here and we'll forget all
about this.
Fred swallows, looks at Lava, goes meekly out.
119 EXT. QUARRY YARD - DAY 119
All the Workers watch expectantly as Fred comes out.
They AD LIB --
WORKERS
Well? What'd he say...? Ol'
Freddie boy told him a thing or
two... Probably got us a raise...
Right, Fred...? Fred...?
(CONTINUED)
58.
119 CONTINUED: 119
FRED
Akkk... something... noble... man
... job... nose... wheel...
shoulder... grindstone... hommm...
yggggg...
BARNEY
(worried)
Fred?
Fred staggers over to his locker, opens it... gets in,
and closes the door. We hear a MUFFLED SOB.
120 A NEW ANGLE 120
As the workers slowly realize the mighty Casey has struck
out.
CUT TO:
121 EXT. FLINTSTONE & RUBBLE LAWNS - DAY 121
Betty and Wilma stand, determined, while the kids gripe.
PEBBLES
But, Mommy, I wanna go roller
skating...
BAM-BAM
(mouth full)
Yeagh... 'hend thugh guys wher
ghoing --
(swallow, munch)
-- to play rockball at Paleolithic
Park --
Betty wipes Bam-Bam's mouth, smiles sweetly.
BETTY
Well, you're both going to change
your plans. Your new school is
going to have a talent show... and
you're going to have some talent.
WILMA
You don't have to win... honorable
mention or most Kongenial Kids is
perfectly acceptable.
PEBBLES
(aside)
As long as we beat the pants offa
Mrs. Slate's nephew...
(CONTINUED)
59.
121 CONTINUED: 121
WILMA
Young lady, this is not about
beating pants, this is about
becoming a well rounded child.
Now, what kind of act will you do?
BAM-BAM
How about a disappearing act?
He takes a tentative step away but Betty grabs him.
BETTY
We're waiting.
Pebbles and Bam-Bam sigh, huddle. We hear snatches of
discussion...
PEBBLES BAM-BAM
... Wanna recite something? Nah, what are we, little
'Inky Dinky Spidersaurus...'? kids? How 'bout magic
tricks? We could cut up a
newspaper --
PEBBLES
But then we'd need a hammer BAM-BAM
and chisel... oh, what about That dumb thing? You
that thing with Dino? think so...?
Pebbles turns, the decision made.
PEBBLES
Okay. We're gonna sing a song
with Dino.
Instantly, on cue, Dino leaps out of nowhere, holding a
straw hat and a cane.
Wilma and Betty look at each other, skeptical. Bam-Bam
reaches into his shirt and takes out a whistle. He blows
it --
PEBBLES
A one-and-a-two and-a --
122 WIDER 122
MUSIC comes UP and Dino and his little friends do a dance
routine we will call "The Dino Dance." It is a spectac-
ular blend of soft-shoe and the kind of dog-and-pony-show
gags usually seen in the circus or on the Ed Sullivrock
show. Most importantly, the routine includes the
following:
A) Dino leaps back and forth through a hoop.
(CONTINUED)
60.
122 CONTINUED: 122
B) The kids tie down a jump rope and Dino does a wire
walk.
C) And finally, Dino uses his tail to flip the kids onto
his back, culminating in a big "ta-da" after they all
slide down the rope for a big finish.
123 NEW ANGLE 123
THE KIDS
(winding up)
You can keep the Twist,
The Frug and Hop
I don't need to Shimmy,
I don't need to Bop
'Cause I'm doin' doin' doin'
The Igneous Rock!
Panting for breath, Pebbles, Bam-Bam and Dino wait for a
reaction.
BETTY
(to Wilma, impressed)
Well? Think they're ready for the
talent show?
WILMA
I think they're ready for Rock
Vegas.
As they laugh and hug the kids and Dino, we --
CUT TO:
124 EXT. LODGE HALL - THAT NIGHT 124
HERDMASTER (V.O.)
Fellow Water Buffalo. In a few
moments we will cast our votes for
the lodge officers.
125 INT. LODGE HALL 125
TIGHT ON Fred as he leans back in his usual chair.
HERDMASTER
The election committee will make
the preparations.
FRED
(confident)
Since when do you have to prepare
for a landslide, right, guys?
(CONTINUED)
61.
125 CONTINUED: 125
Pause as Fred waits for a reply. He turns... SHOT WIDENS
as he realizes no one is sitting near him. He looks
around and sees --
126 HIS POV - FRED'S POSTER 126
It's been altered to read "Fred Finkstone." Also added
to Fred's image are horns, a beard and other choice
touches.
127 BACK TO SCENE 127
Fred looks around, sees Barney approaching, having just
left a group of angry Buffalo.
FRED
Barn -- w-what's going on?
BARNEY
They're mad at you, Fred... it's
understandable, I mean, they all
got laid off today --
Fred crosses to the other guys, puts on a big smile.
FRED
Guys, guys, come on now -- what's a
quarry fulla layoffs got to do with
a lodge fulla Buffaloes?
BARNEY
Is that a riddle? Give me a
second --
PYRITE
(stepping forward)
I'll tell ya what! Mosta the guys
in this lodge work for Mr. Slate --
PILTDOWN
-- You mean used to work for him --
until somebody opened their big
mouth --
FRED
Fellas, come on. We're all big
boys here --
He gestures vaguely towards the outside world, then back
to the little band of brothers here.
FRED
Surely we can separate in our minds
work, and play... Job, and Lodge...
(CONTINUED)
62.
127 CONTINUED: 127
PILTDOWN
(pointing at Fred)
Candidate and double-crossing back
stabber?
(turning)
Herdmaster! I move we commence
the meeting... and the election!
PYRITE
I second the motion!
HERDMASTER
All in favor, say --
FRED
Wait, wait... Your Antlerness,
please, one second -- !
Fred grabs Barney by the shoulder, spins him around,
pushes him forward like a refrigerator on a dolly, stands
him up center stage.
FRED
Barney, you gotta tell the other
guys what really happened. Tell
'em the story behind Fibrerock.
The true story.
The room quiets. Barney clears his throat. Fred waits,
hopeful.
BARNEY
Well, there's not much to tell.
(trying to remember
Fred's phraseology)
True, I got a cut... but Fred's
got a gut.
FRED
No, no, the rest --!
BARNEY
Oh, yeah, I remember! I got the
mind, but Fred's got the behind.
Right, Fred?
Barney turns, gives Fred a big wink. Fred groans.
HERDMASTER
Thank you, Brother Rubble. The
Buffaloes will now have their
secret vote.
(a command)
Fit... furs!
(CONTINUED)
63.
127 CONTINUED: (2) 127
Everyone pulls their horned fezzes down over their eyes.
HERDMASTER
Paw... ground!
Everyone does a bull-like stomp and scrape.
HERDMASTER
All for Piltdown, bellow now!
The room ECHOES with MOOSE-LIKE SNORTS.
HERDMASTER
All for Flintstone, bellow now!
Fred snorts, sounding like Herb Alpert's lonely bull.
Even under his furry fez we see him "looking around"
desperately, hoping to hear one more snort.
He kind of sneaks in one more forlorn grunt which fades
away... finally, as Fred squirms miserably, there is one
more lonely snort...
... from Barney, of course.
HERDMASTER
Order furs!
The fezzes come up.
HERDMASTER
The snorts have it! Brother
Piltdown, it is my privilege to
install you as the new Exalted
Herdmaster Erect Antler and Big
Buck of our Lodge. If you'll come
forward, I will present you with
the tokens of office.
Cheers and applause as Piltdown goes to the podium.
128 FAVORING FRED AND BARNEY 128
Fred's a broken man. Barney moves over, puts his arm
around him.
BARNEY
I voted for you, Fred.
FRED
Big deal, after you screwed
everything up in the first
place...!
Barney reacts, really hurt. He moves away on the bench.
Fred's so agitated he doesn't even realize it.
64.
129 WIDER 129
Piltdown accepts the festooned fez and shoulder ribbon,
smiles at the group.
PILTDOWN
Thank you, Brother Chairman.
Fellow Buffaloes, I'm a man of few
words. It's no secret that most
of our lodge members are also
members of Amalgamated Neolithic
101... which means that most of us
aren't gonna be able to make our
cave payments next month. So my
agenda for tonight... ends right
now. There's a time to be a
Buffalo... there's a time ta be a
brown nosin' double-crossin'
creep...
All heads turn and swivel to look at Fred... swivel back.
PILTDOWN
... and there's a time to stand up
and be a man! So let's go down
there and make the Slate shop into
slate scrap... then we'll see how
he gets along without the heavy
equipment operators of Neolithic
101! Meeting adjourned!
With angry grumbles and threats, the meeting breaks up.
Fezzes are thrown into cubby holes and hard hats are
slapped on. The Buffalo run out.
When the dust clears, we see that only one member has
avoided the herding instinct: Barney.
Now, he turns, runs into --
130 BUFFALO LODGE - RECREATION AREA - NIGHT 130
Fred is at the bar, opening a beer. He looks wistfully
at the old, framed picture on the wall -- reacts as he
sees --
131 PICTURE 131
Even his childhood shot has been defaced.
132 BACK TO SCENE 132
He sets his jaw with a "screw 'em" expression, downs his
beer. Then Barney runs up, shakes him by the shoulders.
(CONTINUED)
65.
132 CONTINUED: 132
BARNEY
Fred! Fred! The Buffalo are
heading for big trouble -- !
FRED
No kidding. They rejected the
best candidate --
BARNEY
No, no, not that! Piltdown's got
the guys all worked up and they're
heading down to the quarry!
They're gonna wreck the assembly
line!
FRED
(genuinely worried)
Oh, no! That -- that's horrible!
(pause)
We could end up with half a
percent of nothing!
BARNEY
No, Fred, if they do that they'll
be breakin' the law! Our brother
Buffalo could go to jail!
FRED
Oh, yeah, yeah, that, too... come
on, Barn, we gotta stop 'em!
CUT TO:
133 EXT. SLATE QUARRY - NIGHT 133
Silent, empty. CAMERA PANS FROM the still yard TO the
gate. Down the road, we see Piltdown leading the angry
mob. Quickly, they go to the gate, climb up and over it!
PILTDOWN
Okay! Let's start with Slate's
golf trophies and work our way
up to the assembly line!
AD LIB angry cheers, and the mob storms into the plant,
knocking aside equipment and supplies.
134 IN CAR - FRED AND BARNEY - NIGHT 134
Both pedaling like mad.
(CONTINUED)
66.
134 CONTINUED: 134
FRED
I don't believe this... how did
things ever get this out of
hand -- ?
BARNEY
I know. Makes you wish things
were back the way they were...
before we was big executives.
FRED
Well, I wouldn't go that far...
Suddenly they're interrupted by the sound of a SIREN.
Fred looks back and sees --
135 FELDSPAR AND GRAVEL 135
Coming up from rear. Feldspar grabs his megaphone as he
pulls abreast of Fred.
FELDSPAR
Flintstone! Pull over!
FRED
Oh, no, not now...
Feldspar signals Fred onto the shoulder. Fred smiles,
nods...
136 CLOSE ON FRED'S FEET 136
He slams them down through the floorboard --
137 WIDER 137
Fred's CAR SKIDS, spins out, whirling around like a
record on a turntable. It jerks to a halt 180 degrees
later, and then ROARS off in the opposite direction.
138 FELDSPAR 138
So astonished he follows this action with his head... a
bad move because --
GRAVEL
Sarge! Look out -- !
139 NEW ANGLE 139
The patrol CAR runs off the road, CRASHING into a stone
fire hydrant. Water squirts into the air. Feldspar and
Gravel are drenched. They're just coming to their senses
when the ground heaves -- the car's front wheels rise --
67.
140 NEW ANGLE 140
As we see that the water spout is actually coming from
the blowhole of a whale which now sticks a bit of its
head up from under the broken curb.
WHALE
I'm gonna sue you for everything
you got --
CUT TO:
141 SLATE QUARRY - NIGHT 141
Led by Piltdown, the workers have grabbed a big timber
which they're using like a battering ram on the doors of
the assembly line building. Suddenly, with a crash, the
doors go down! Piltdown and Pyrite stand back while the
angry workers rush past them.
PILTDOWN
(loudly)
Now we'll show 'em who's boss!
PYRITE
They can't push us around!
Piltdown and Pyrite smash a few items to get everybody
juiced up, and then... when no one is looking...
... they slip out the back!
142 REAR OF QUARRY - NIGHT 142
Fred pulls into the lot, slams his feet down to stop --
we hear SKIDDING -- they fishtail all over, slam right
through a storage area for crates and barrels which
collapse all around them.
Finally they slam broadside into the main Quarry build-
ing, knocking a hole in the wall.
143 NEW ANGLE 143
Fred and Barney cough in the rising dust. Neither one of
them sees what we see, which is that visible in the hole
in the wall is the Slate Company's granite-doored safe...
... and right beside it is the Xenosaurus, which now
jumps up, startled, dropping a crowbar and a big hand
drill.
Recovering its composure, the Xenosaurus grabs up the
tools as well as a big canvas bag and tiptoes away,
vanishing just as our heroes stir.
(CONTINUED)
68.
143 CONTINUED: 143
FRED
(double-taking)
Barn! Did you see that -- ?
(peering through
the dust)
-- Huh, now it's gone... I
coulda sworn...
BARNEY
Come on Fred. Time to earn those
big bucks.
They rush into the plant.
144 INT. ASSEMBLY LINE - NIGHT 144
As the workers continue their rampage, Piltdown and
Pyrite reappear.
PYRITE
Darn that Flintstone and Rubble...
they're gonna screw everything
up...
PILTDOWN
Not if we give 'em a nice long
vacation... in the hospital.
Saying this, he grips tightly on a wrench. Then some
rampaging workers rush by. Piltdown gives them an encour-
aging cheer, and then he and Pyrite lead them up some
stairs to the assembly line catwalk. There, Pyrite
begins SMASHING some LIGHT FIXTURES with a club, while
Piltdown uses brute strength to snap big support beams
which he flings below.
145 CLOSE - PYRITE 145
Winds up for another baseball-type swing -- but as he
follows through, the ball-shaped light fixture jerks up
on its cable. Unable to stop in time, Pyrite spins
around, falls on his ass.
Barney drops down INTO VIEW, hanging horizontally from
the rafters. He's holding the light fixture with his
free hand.
BARNEY
Stee-rike one! Heh-hey. Ready
for a curve ball?
Pyrite doesn't have a sense of humor; club in hand,
he jumps up, starts chasing Barney through the rafters.
69.
146 PILTDOWN 146
Spits on his hand, grabs another big beam. He pulls down
on it... but it doesn't snap, it goes right up again.
Puzzled, he pulls down on it again... there's another
see-saw motion...
... This time Piltdown goes with the flow, pushes up and
peers under the beam...
147 NEW ANGLE 147
Fred is hanging on the other end.
FRED
Brother Piltdown... can we talk
about this, antler to antler?
Piltdown roars, begins slamming the girder up and down.
FRED
Guess not...
Fred inches down the shuddering beam, jumps off. Freed
of Fred's weight, the other end "BOINGS" down on
Piltdown's head. He groans, recovers in time to chase
after Fred.
148 BARNEY AND PYRITE 148
Square off in the rafters.
BARNEY
Give me your best shot.
Pyrite swings. Barney ducks and Pyrite SMASHES a WINDOW
pane. Barney dodges again and the same thing happens.
Getting cocky, Barney does it one more time...
... but this time the window is hinged in the center and
the swivel action after the hit whaps Barney on the back
and knocks him into Pyrite's next blow.
149 FRED 149
Is backpedaling away from Piltdown on the upper super-
structure of the assembly line. Fred scrapes one foot in
an arc in front of him.
FRED
Dare you to cross that line.
Piltdown crosses it.
FRED
That line.
(CONTINUED)
70.
149 CONTINUED: 149
Piltdown crosses it. Fred "marks" another one. Piltdown
doesn't even wait for the challenge, takes a giant step.
Oops. Bad idea: The last "line" was at the edge of a
straight drop! Piltdown yelps, "treads air" in the best
cartoon manner -- and then desperately grabs a handful of
Fred's clothing! Both men fall -- at the last minute
Piltdown catches a ladder!
150 BELOW - ASSEMBLY LINE 150
Fred lands with a thud right in the clay mold used to
form the Fibre products! Worse, the impact arouses the
goatasauruses out of their sleep. Dutifully, they rise,
and then ram both sides of the mold just as Fred is
struggling to his feet! Fred's yell is muffled by the
clay.
151 OTHER ASSEMBLY LINE ANIMALS 151
Aroused by the "start up" of the assembly line, they do
their job. Fibre foam begins to chug down the trough:
The alligator crane picks up the mold, shakes it.
152 FRED 152
is flung to the conveyor belt, stiffly caked in clay.
153 THE FIBRE MOLD 153
shudders -- and shakes out a Fibre statue of... Fred!
154 BELOW 154
The real Fred, moving stiffly like a robot, is getting
to his feet when his Fibre doppleganger slams him to the
mat again! A moment later, another "Fred" drops down
beside him.
155 PILTDOWN 155
Has descended the ladder, hopping mad. Now, he sees
Fred coming toward him... Piltdown breaks a big lever off
the equipment, swings -- reacts astonished as "FRED"
SHATTERS.
156 FRED 156
Back down the line, he's seen this. His clay-caked
Adam's apple gulps. Quickly, he turns and tries to
"tip-toe" away -- then, with a CREAK and CRUNCH -- the
clay and Fibre all over him solidifies! Desperate, he
tries to move... can't!
71.
157 PILTDOWN 157
Watches, confused, as dozens of Fred Flintstones chug
towards him on the belt. He shrugs, smashes the next
one in line. Another phoney. He smashes the next one...
CUT TO:
158 UP ABOVE - BARNEY 158
Dodging Pyrite's renewed attack. Now, Barney becomes
aware of the activated assembly line. Getting an idea,
he moves behind an inspection table, grabs a big rubber
stamp.
Pyrite comes around the corner... Barney's head butts him
in the gut, dodges under his legs! Then, as Pyrite
stumbles, Barney stamps his ass with the word "REJECT."
Pyrite looks back, sees this, reddens... raises his club.
PYRITE
Reject, huh? Whaddya say we
reject your head?
He raises the club... when an alligator swings down and
grabs him by the seat of his pants! Pyrite drops the
club, howls --
159 WIDER 159
The alligator crane swings him away and over a big bin
marked REJECTS -- and drops him.
Howling, Pyrite falls into a big bin of broken and
defective Fibrerock goods.
160 BARNEY 160
Chuckles to himself... and then looks down, reacts.
CAMERA ADJUSTS and we see that Piltdown has smashed yet
another of the duplicate Freds.
Worried, Barney looks around, sees that he's just above
the Fibrefoam chute. Without another thought, he jumps
into it -- slides downward like a passenger on the
Magerock Mountain Log Flume ride --
161 BELOW 161
Piltdown is about to swing at the real Fred -- when
Barney sails out of the end of the chute and slams into
him and Fred! All three of them roll across the floor
towards --
72.
162 THE END OF THE BUILDING 162
where a squad of policemen has just appeared -- led by a
dripping wet Feldspar and Gravel!
FELDSPAR
All right! You're all under arr --
Wham! Barney, Fred and Piltdown roll right into the
cops, who go flying like (what else?) tenpins, complete
with appropriate sound.
BARNEY
(sitting up)
Whattya know. Even got the spare
again...
Then he gasps as he looks over at Fred, whose head has
just fallen off!
Pause. Fred's real head slowly pokes up out of the clay
and Fibre shoulders. Before he can extricate himself
further, Feldspar and his men are dragging them out of
the building.
CUT TO:
163 INT. BEDROCK POLICE STATION - NIGHT 163
Wooden bars delineate the holding cells. "Wanted"
posters of stone are hanging on the walls.
As we watch, the contrite buffalos are bailed out by
friends and relations. Wilma and Betty are just now
clunking down stone money on the night sergeant's desk.
BETTY
Barney, I don't understand... what
came over you boys?
EXITING BUFFALO
'Night, Barney.
(to Fred)
So long, fatso.
BUFFALO #2
See ya, Barn.
(pause)
Flintstone, you're dead meat.
BUFFALO #2
'Night, pal. 'Night, slimeball.
WILMA
Fred, is there something you want
to tell me about the lodge meeting?
(CONTINUED)
73.
163 CONTINUED: 163
FRED
I don't wanna talk about it.
Besides, who cares about a bunch
of jerks running around with furs
on their heads? I'm more of a
country club guy myself anyway...
He goes out, hardly looking at Barney. Wilma and Betty
look at each other, mystified... then Wilma follows Fred
out, puzzled.
164 EXT. POLICE STATION - NIGHT 164
Lava stands in the shadows beside his Porscherock.
Piltdown and Pyrite are with him. In the b.g., Fred and
Wilma drive away.
LAVA
A simple little heist -- I gave
you everything but the keys and
you blew it --
PILTDOWN
Hey, we got the union guys to
break in and create a distraction,
didn't we? Who knew Flintstone
and Rubble would show up, too?
LAVA
The day after Slate City opens
there's going to be an audit. If
the stuff isn't gone by then we'll
all be doing time until the
Bronze Age.
PYRITE
Don't worry, Mister Lava... we're
on top of it.
They both turn and start down an alley... jamming
together as they do. Lava sighs... then jumps as Barney
comes up behind him and taps him on the shoulder.
BARNEY
Excuse me, Mister Lava -- ? I
think you oughta know... something
could be wrong with the Fibrerock
mix.
LAVA
(thrown)
How do you know that?
(recovering)
I mean... ah, why do you say that?
(CONTINUED)
74.
164 CONTINUED: 164
BARNEY
It tastes different.
LAVA
Tastes... different?
BARNEY
Yup. See, ever since I started
with Fibrerock -- I mean, since
me and Fred started with it, I
always take a little taste of the
Fibre foam. And tonight's batch,
well... I didn't get much of it,
but it seems a little off.
(smacking his lips)
Can't fool the old taste buds,
heh-heh. I think there might be
an ingredient missing. So
tomorrow, I'll run a couple of
tests and stuff --
LAVA
Rubble, Rubble! We're fighting a
deadline to finish Slate City...
and we're not pulling the plug on
production to satisfy your
tastebuds! If you ask me, you
and your tastebuds are overworked
... overwrought... how long have
you been with us, anyway?
BARNEY
Nine days, Mister Lava.
LAVA
Jumping Jurrasic, no wonder you're
so run down.
He puts his arm around Barney, leads him towards the
car where Betty is waiting.
LAVA
I'm authorizing a nice vacation
for you, Rubble. Starting
tomorrow. You can catch some rays,
maybe invent something... hey,
how about Fibrerock, the sequel,
part II -- ?
BARNEY
But --
LAVA
No, don't try and thank me.
CUT TO:
75.
165 INT. SLATE'S OFFICE - DAY 165
Slate and Lava are examining a newer and larger model of
Slate City. It's even more grandiose than its
predecessor. Now the housing development has two huge
office buildings beside it, and then a convention center
beyond that.
LAVA
... As you can see, the Fibrerock
is so light we're using it for
construction, for furnishings...
for everything. You can't stack
a two-bedroom cave this high...
but the sky's the limit with
Fibrerock!
SLATE
'Sky's the limit'... 'sky's the
limit'... why, these two buildings,
they... they practically scrape
the sky! We should call them...
Slate scrapers!
LAVA
That's brilliant, Unc... Mister
Slate. In fact, maybe you can
help me with the centerpiece of
the complex...
(indicating the
convention center)
... I wanna call 'em the
FibreSphere and the '____'
something Needle... but I just
can't...
SLATE
(modestly)
How about, 'Slate Needle'?
LAVA
'Slate Need...'
(astonished)
... How do you keep coming up
with these? It's uncanny.
SLATE
(shrugging)
It's a gift...
LAVA
(casually)
Oh, that reminds me, sign these,
will you... just a few overruns
... minor cost problems... that's
it... thank you...
(CONTINUED)
76.
165 CONTINUED: 165
Slate's so busy admiring his moment to himself he hardly
listens to what Lava's saying, just runs his stylus
through the wet clay of the statements, meanwhile
"framing" the model city in his hands.
LAVA
(heading for the
door)
... Oh, Mister Slate, we're going
to hold the Bedrock Junior Talent
Show in the uh, 'Slate Needle.'
Good for public relations --
Lava breaks off. He's just looked out the window and
seen --
166 LAVA'S POV - QUARRY BELOW WINDOW 166
A small figure appears behind some of the equipment,
tiptoeing from console to cabinet and thus towards
the assembly line.
Wearing sunglasses with attached nose and a hook-on
beard, it at first appears to be some sort of bizarre
hermit or bum... and then we realize, hey, this is
Barney!
167 LAVA 167
Looks around, spots Piltdown and Pyrite, now resplendent
in security guard uniforms. Lava whistles softly to get
their attention, can't. Then he sees one of Slate's
golf trophies. He shrugs, throws it.
168 BELOW - PILTDOWN 168
Reacts as the trophy bounces off his head, then looks up
to see Lava gesticulating. Piltdown nods, grabs Pyrite
in tow.
169 BARNEY 169
Looking around carefully, Barney takes out a Thermos
bottle, unscrews the top, and quickly dunks it into the
Fibrerock foam. Then he tiptoes O.S., right into the
massive bulk of --
170 PILTDOWN 170
-- who looks down at him with a big smile, Pyrite at his
side.
PILTDOWN
Can we help you... sir?
(CONTINUED)
77.
170 CONTINUED: 170
BARNEY
(fake crotchety voice)
Ah, yup, yup, young feller... jest
show me the way to the personnel
office... I'm lookin' fer a job
as a custodian...
PYRITE
Our pleasure.
Then they grab Barney with such force that the THERMOS
drops and SHATTERS, drag him O.S. --
171 SLATE QUARRY - MAIN GATE - DAY 171
Barney is tossed outside, landing in a heap amidst the
picketing workers of Neolithic 101.
PILTDOWN
(chuckling)
Ya can start by cleaning the
street with your pants!
Still laughing, Piltdown and Pyrite cross over to Lava,
who has come out of the office building.
LAVA
That takes care of the half-pint.
(pause)
Now to deal with the half-wit.
CUT TO:
172 INT. LAVA'S OFFICE - DAY 172
Lava walks Fred from the door into the color-coordinated
high-style room.
FRED
(on the move)
... But Barney doesn't want to
take a vacation -- he says he's
gotta be here to check up on the
Fibrefoam --
LAVA
(pointedly)
-- Oh? Or check up on us?
Emotionally, Lava turns, indicates a picture of Slate on
the wall.
(CONTINUED)
78.
172 CONTINUED: 172
LAVA
Flintstone, that... that's a slap
in the face of our founder... our
employer... our uncle.
(turning back,
another tone)
Unless, of course, you agree with
Rubble... that Mister Slate isn't
capable of running this operation
... that I'm not capable of
running it?
FRED
(nervous)
Of course not, Mister Lava.
But --
LAVA
Call me Jerry. Sit down, please...
Fred complies. Lava winces as his designer FURNITURE
CREAKS under Fred's weight, but he only says --
LAVA
(offering one)
... Cigar?
FRED
Why, yeah, sure, Jerry.
LAVA
Fred, let me get to the bottom
slime. Some men -- you and me,
for instance -- we're cut out for
the big time, the big bucks...
(eyeing Fred's
girth)
... the big everything.
Lava smiles, prepares the tips on two cigars. He puts
each one in turn in a gizmo on his desk.
173 CLOSER - GIZMO 173
It's actually a frame supporting a little LIZARD. The
Lizard bites the tip off the cigar, practically chokes
on it, finally manages to spit it out with difficulty.
LIZARD
(aside)
When they say smoking is bad for
your health, they're not kidding...
79.
174 BACK TO SCENE 174
LAVA
And others? Wellll...
Now Lava takes out a lighter, leans across the desk.
175 CLOSER - LIGHTER 175
As Lava works the mechanism, two wooden twigs rub rapidly
across each other and ignite.
176 BACK TO SCENE 176
LAVA
... Now, I know your pal Barney
had a small part in the preliminary
research and development of
Fibrerock...
FRED
Well, actually, I wouldn't say
small part... I'd say...
LAVA
Yes?
FRED
... Kind of a medium-sized... well,
almost medium-sized... well, really
a semi-partial assistant counsulting
type, of --
LAVA
(giving Fred a
playful punch)
You're too kind, Flintstone,
that's what I like about you.
But you're a big guy with a big
decision to make. Are you gonna
keep covering for Barney, keep
pulling his acornsauruses out of
the fire... or are you going to
concentrate on your own important
duties?
FRED
Well, gee, that's tough one --
(pause)
-- Uh, what are my important duties?
LAVA
Publicity, Flintstone, publicity!
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
80.
176 CONTINUED: 176
LAVA (CONT'D)
And that's why I've got a little
surprise for you... for the man
who made Fibrerock a household
word, I want you to meet the man
who's going to make you a household
word...
Lava throws the door open. Fred's jaw drops as he
sees --
FRED
R-rockin' Leach?
Indeed, it is he, and he smiles, extends his hands.
LEACH
'Ello, Fred. I've 'eard a lot
h'about you from Mister Lava.
H'at's why we're going to put you
on our program.
FRED
M-me? On -- on television?
LAVA
(patting his back,
sotto)
Right, Fred. As long as you
forget all this nonsense about
Barney.
FRED
(still in a dazed
thrill)
Barney who?
CUT TO:
177 EXT. FLINTSTONE HOUSE - DAY 177
Three big dino-mounted trucks are parked in front. You
have to read the words on all three: "ROCKSTYLES OF..."
"THE RICH..." "AND FAMOUS."
Technicians roll out gear, set up big spotlights, etc.
178 CLOSER - YARD 178
Rockin' Leach is surveying the place with an aide. Fred
and Wilma are with them. Leach makes a "frame" with his
hands, "pans" the area.
(CONTINUED)
81.
178 CONTINUED: 178
LEACH
Hmm. Lovely little guest 'ouse,
Mister Flintstone. So simple,
so ordinary, so unexceptional...
why, h'it's almost quaint. Let's
say we start with the camera 'ere,
except...
Leach breaks off, looks over the fence at the Rubble
homestead. He shakes his head sadly.
FRED
W-what's wrong?
LEACH
Well, just look at that yard over
there... barbecues and trikes, not
exactly the right image...
FRED
(pointing)
Maybe you could move those plants
to block them out...?
LEACH
Good idea. Rodney, get 'hoppin'
with those greens.
The aide nods, gathers some workers. They start moving
the potted plants. Puzzled, Wilma comes over.
WILMA
Fred, this was supposed to be a
'typical evening' at the
Flintstones, and you invited fifty
people I don't even know. Now
what's going on? Where are they
taking my ficus-sauruses?
FRED
It's the Rubble yard, Wilma. It's
just not the right image...
He starts away, suddenly notices his own barbecue and
trikes... quickly, without missing a stride, he tosses
a tarp over them, slides a potted plant over for good
measure.
179 BARNEY AND BETTY'S HOUSE - SAME TIME 179
Betty, hair and face done, but still in a slip, is
putting a reluctant Bam-Bam into a cute little blazer.
In the f.g., Barney finishes tying a black tie, then
struggles into a dinner jacket.
(CONTINUED)
82.
179 CONTINUED: 179
BETTY
I don't know why you want to go
to this thing... after the way
Fred's been treating you lately --
BARNEY
Fred's in a high-powered
executive job, Betty. There's a
lot of pressure on him.
BETTY
Yeah... and it's all around his
belt. If it wasn't for poor Wilma
I wouldn't give him the Geological
Time --
BARNEY
Trust me, Betty. After the
Fibrerock debut, he'll be the same
old Fred.
Both react to the sound of HAMMERING and SAWING.
Curious, they go out the sliding bedroom door into the
yard and see --
180 THEIR POV - THE FENCE 180
The television crew has just finished nailing boards up
over the top of the fence. Now the big potted plants
are dropped into place. With each hammer stroke or thud
a little more of the late afternoon sun is shut off
until Barney and Betty are in shadow.
Finally a canvas tarp is tossed as gracefully as pizza
dough, sails into the Rubble yard and covers their bird
bath. One last stray end lands on Barney's head.
CUT TO:
181 QUICK CUTS - FLINTSTONE YARD - ANGLE ON "KLEIG LIGHTS" 181
Inside each one, a little BIRD in hardhat and smoked
visor lights up the arc, gets knocked on his butt when
it catches.
BIRD
(slowly getting up)
I've heard of a flash in the pan,
but this is ridiculous...
182 ON DINO 182
He's squirming uncomfortably under the attentions of two
crew members who are busy with scissors and combs and
brushes.
(CONTINUED)
83.
182 CONTINUED: 182
Finally, they're done and leave him.
He has been cut and trimmed like a French poodle. He
gets a glimpse of himself in the swimming pool and freaks
out. Then he arches his back, shakes out the hairstyle.
183 CLOSER ON ROCKIN' LEACH 183
The MAIN TITLE of the show can be heard O.S.
ANNOUNCER (O.S.)
And now... the man who brings you
the romance and excitement you
crave... from the casinos of
Monte Carlrock to the glamour of
Hollyrock, here's your guide to
the Rockstyles of the Rich and
Famous, Rockin' Leach!
Leach takes his cue from the director --
LEACH
(INTO CAMERA)
Good evening. Tonight we come
to you live from the ah... charming
pied a terre of the man of the
'our, Fred Flintstone --
Leach pauses, hearing the sound of someone CHIPPING AWAY
at a stone tablet... he looks up at --
184 HIS POV - FRED 184
He has just carved "FREDERICK" into a stone cue card
and points to it.
185 BACK TO SCENE 185
LEACH
'Ere we are at the 'ome of
Bedrock's man o' the 'our,
Frederick Flint--
More CHIPPING. Leach looks up and sees:
186 HIS POV - FRED 186
Now he's carved something grander. Leach sighs, goes
on.
LEACH
'Ere we are at the fabulous 'ome
of Bedrock's man o' the 'our,
Frederick von Flintstone --
84.
187 NEAR THE HOUSE 187
Barney and Betty appear, Bam-Bam in tow. They come out
into the yard. Betty waves at Wilma, who comes over,
whispers.
WILMA
Thank heaven. There isn't one
person I know here.
BARNEY
You mean beside Fred?
WILMA
I mean including Fred.
They look over at --
188 THE SET 188
Where Leach has pulled Fred on camera. Fred is posing,
fluffing his ascot, etc. We notice a "FVF" embroidered
patch on his jacket.
LEACH
Frederick, of course, is the man
behind Fibrerock -- the invention
that some predict will
revolutionize life in the future.
Frederick, 'ow does it feel to
know that you 'ave personally
brought the Stone Age as we know
it to a long-deserved end?
FRED
(very affected accent)
Well, Rockin', you're right, I
have affected destiny for all
mankind, and it's a sobering
thought. However, if I may add a
personal note at this time, I
myself cannot personally take
all the credit for Fibrerock...
189 WILMA, BARNEY, BETTY 189
react with hopeful expressions --
BARNEY
(sotto, to them)
See? What'd I tell ya?
85.
190 BACK TO SCENE 190
FRED
No, I could never have done it
without the inspiration and
support of a very special person.
I'm speaking, of course, of my
close friend and associate,
Mister Slate, founder and C.E.O.
of Slate Construction...
191 WILMA, BARNEY, BETTY 191
Barney's face falls. So do Wilma and Betty's.
CUT TO:
192 EXT. SLATE CITY - NIGHT 192
Slate City! In the far future, Manhattan will have New
Jersey... Philadelphia will have Levittown... L.A. will
have Burbank... but today Bedrock has... Slate City!
193 CLOSE ON "SLATE NEEDLE" AND FIBRESPHERE 193
Both decorated in pennants and bunting, connected to each
other by a gangway six stories up. Block letters on the
Fibresphere proclaim "Slate Construction brings you THE
WONDERFUL WORLD OF FIBRE." A heroic statue of Slate
himself stands close by the structures. (Sphere and
needle, of course, are dead on parodies of the Trylon
and Perisphere, centerpieces of the '39 World's Fair.)
A limousine pedaled by two chauffeurs pulls up. Mr. and
Mrs. Slate and Lava, and Lava's son, POINDEXTER, get out.
It is immediately evident that the little obnoxious acorn
hasn't fallen far from the tree.
POINDEXTER
Wow! Is this ever keen! Dad, you
promise I can cut in all the lines?
LAVA
Of course, Poindexter, of course.
They head for the mastodon and pully-powered elevator.
Standing there are Piltdown and Pyrite, both in security
guard uniforms. (Piltdown is carrying a vaguely-familiar
satchel). Lava gives them a big look. They nod. As
the elevator rises, his two cronies duck into a stairwell
marked "NO ADMITTANCE."
CUT TO:
194 RESUME - FLINTSTONE HOUSE 194
The party is in full swing.
(CONTINUED)
86.
194 CONTINUED: 194
We see Pebbles and Bam-Bam squirming uncomfortably in
their party clothes. They take some canapes off of a
table, take a bite... spit them out.
195 FRED 195
Stands beaming, nodding to his guests.
FRED
Hello, hello. Bon soir. Good to
see ya... glad you could make it...
GUEST
(unconvincingly)
Hello, Frank...
FRED
Fred -- there's the bar, make
yourself at home -- mi casa es
votre casa, so, when in Rome and
all that --
WILMA
(coming over)
Fred, can I talk to you -- ?
Fred? Fred?
(concerned)
We have a serious problem with
Betty and Barney.
FRED
(alarmed)
You mean you can see their
house -- ?
WILMA
(exasperated)
I mean you're treating them
horribly! What's come over you,
Fred? Does a little money mean so
much to you that you just turn
your back on the things that
really count?
FRED
Wilma, I'm shocked. I wouldn't do
that. Okay, I admit it: I'm
trying to make an impression here,
I wanna look good, I wanna be a
success...
He takes her hand, looks into her eyes. For a moment,
Wilma's face softens.
(CONTINUED)
87.
195 CONTINUED: 195
FRED
... But deep down inside, I'm
still the same lovable guy you
married --
(pause)
-- Frederick von Flintstone the
third --
WILMA
Arrrgh -- !
She throws up her hands, stalks away.
FRED
What'd I say?
196 PRODUCTION ASSISTANT 196
Hangs up the sea shell phone, runs over to Leach.
P.A.
That was our location guy at Slate
City. They just moved the ribbon
cutting up by an hour. Guests are
already starting to arrive.
LEACH
Fabulous! I've 'ad enough crab meat
and crabgrass to last me a year.
All right, boys, that's a wrap!
197 FRED 197
In the middle of a tight little group which is pigging
out. Fred seems oblivious to the fact that they're
oblivious to him.
FRED
... Yas, yas, it's a challenging
commodity market these days.
Personally, I'm considering
petrified forests, but they do
say that volcano futures are
ready to explode, ha, ha...
Suddenly Fred notices that his "audience" has evaporated.
He looks around, sees everyone headed for their cars,
the TV crew packing up, etc.
FRED
... Hey, whoa, what's happening --
(CONTINUED)
88.
197 CONTINUED: 197
LEACH'S AIDE
What's happening isn't happening
here. The action's over at Slate
City. Oh, thanks for the booze,
Ed --
FRED
Fred!
He stumbles through the thinning crowd, clutching at
elbows.
FRED
Hey, what's the hurry? We got a
cake shaped like a piece of
Fibrerock... I got it, how about
some charades? No, even better,
twenty questions: 'Am I animal,
mineral, or fossil'...? Oh, I
heard a great one the other day
... a guy walks in a bar with a
duckasaurus on his head and the
bartender says -- this'll kill
you, the bartender says --
Fred stops, running out of steam along with his moment of
glory. He stands alone on the lawn. Wilma slowly comes
up to him.
WILMA
Fred... I... I'm sorry it's not
working out...
Fred turns, puts on a big smile.
FRED
Whaddya mean, not working out?
They're goin' party hopping,
that's all. That's what ya do in
society, Wilma... you cruise
around. They'll go over to
Slate's shindig for a while,
then they'll come back here.
WILMA
Fred...
FRED
You go on over to Slate City,
okay?
WILMA
Fred, I want to be here with you --
(CONTINUED)
89.
197 CONTINUED: (2) 197
FRED
Nah, me and some of the guys from
the country club, we're gonna play
poker, yeah, big stakes poker
until everybody comes back. Go on
with the others. The kids got
their show to put on anyway... and
I wouldn't want people to think...
to think the Flintstones were
party poopers.
She doesn't know what to say, or what she can say that
won't shatter his shaky image. She sighs, kisses him,
then calls out.
WILMA
Come on, Pebbles. We're going to
another party.
PEBBLES
Will there be real food there?
WILMA
We'll find out together.
She takes the girl's hand and goes to the door, where the
last of Leach's crew is just going out. Suddenly Betty
catches up to her, Bam-Bam in tow.
BETTY
Wilma, wait. I'm going with you.
WILMA
Why?
BETTY
If friends can't do something
stupid, who can?
Wilma smiles, touched.
BETTY
Besides...
(lowering her voice)
... Maybe if we leave the boys
alone...?
Wilma nods, hopeful.
198 EXT. FLINTSTONE HOUSE - NIGHT 198
The film crew caravan is already leaving as Wilma, Betty
and the kids get into the Rubble car. The last TV crew-
man extinguishes the big spotlight. The house is dark,
forlorn in the fading twilight.
90.
199 REAR OF YARD - NIGHT 199
Fred sits forlorn in the rubble of his party. Dino comes
over, nuzzles his leg.
FRED
Just you and me now, Dino. Yeah.
That's okay. Man and man's best
friend.
He gives Dino one of the canapes. Dino tastes it, makes
a face, spits it out. DINO runs off, going "PTOOIE" all
the way. We see him run to the corner, jump in Betty's
car and drive away.
200 FRED 200
sighs, looks around, down at his blazer and the "FVF"
patch. He suddenly rips it off in a fury. Then he looks
at --
201 THE WALL IN FRONT OF BARNEY'S PROPERTY 201
202 BACK TO SCENE 202
Fred stares at it, his face slowly darkening. Then he
grabs a lawn chair from the yard, begins to smash it in
a fury against the divider. The wall cracks, splinters;
the potted plants go flying.
203 FRED 203
His anger spent, he stands panting, splattered with
dirt... then he sees --
204 NEW ANGLE - ANOTHER DIRT-COVERED FIGURE 204
-- standing in the ruins of the wall. The figure
sneezes, whacks dirt off of itself. It's --
FRED
(disbelieving)
B... Barney?
BARNEY
(moving closer)
Hiya, Fred.
(noticing his ruined
tuxedo)
Boy, the rental place is gonna
be mad...
(eyeing the mess)
... You feeling better, pal?
(CONTINUED)
91.
204 CONTINUED: 204
FRED
'Pal'? How can you call me that?
Barney, I... I've been such a...
such a... such a...
BARNEY
Creep?
FRED
Well, yeah. But more of a --
BARNEY
(helpful tone)
Fool?
FRED
Well --
BARNEY
Slimeball? Louse? Jackass?
(snapping fingers)
Stuck-up blimpasaurus?
FRED
(wincing, but
taking it)
Barney... can... can you ever
forgive me for being such a jerk?
BARNEY
(stepping closer)
Sure, Fred.
(smiling)
I've had lots of practice.
FRED
(touched)
Aw, Barn...
And he grabs Barney in a big bear hug. Tears in both
their eyes, they slap each other on the back, two
prehistoric sensitive guys.
CUT TO:
205 FIBRESPHERE & SLATE NEEDLE - NIGHT 205
Little cupola cars are chugging around the upper level
of the Fibresphere, where they enter a tunnel-like open-
ing labeled "THE WORLD OF FIBRE."
Wilma, Betty, the kids and Dino are in one of these.
Now, we FOLLOW them as they chug into --
92.
206 THE FIBRESPHERE "WORLD OF FIBRE" RIDE 206
The cupolas rattle along in Disneyland style, passing a
sign which reads: "FIBREROCK--TRANSFORMING THE HOME."
Here, mechanical figures in an all-Fibre home move
klutzily around the room.
RECORDING (V.O.)
(a la 'The Great
Gildersleeve')
Welcome! Welcome to the fabulous
world of tomorrow... a world
brought to you by Fibrerock!
207 REVERSE ANGLE 207
REVEALING that behind the hollow shells of the human
family is a veritable family of monkeys, all working the
figures like puppets. A PARROT at a stand-mounted
microphone is giving the narration.
PARROT (RECORDING) (V.O.)
Here, we see a typical family of
the future, free of the cares and
worries of today... yes, the great
kibble crisis is a thing of the
past when you're living the good
life... the Fibrelife!
208 NEXT EXHIBIT 208
The CARS CHUG past a display of tree trunks, leaves,
bubbling gunk... and those iridescent vegetable pearls
we've come to know... coo-coo berries. Iron bars and
vault-like doors separate the coo-coo berries from the
other items.
ANOTHER PARROT
Here, gathered from the four
corners of the globe, are the
secret ingredients of Fibrerock...
some common, some rare... all
making life easier for you and
yours!
209 THIRD EXHIBIT 209
The little CARS CHUG into an elegant salon, complete with
runway. There's another PARROT here in front of another
megaphone, but this parrot is chic and flamboyant.
FASHION PARROT
But does Fibrerock belong only in
the kitchen, the garage, the
workplace? No, no, no, my
darlings!
93.
210 FASHION MODELS ON RUNWAY 210
As each girl struts forward, she shrugs off a bulky
animal fur and tosses it into a garbage can. Underneath
are all kinds of daring and tantalizing fashions woven
in the tell-tale fibre colors. The clothes are a blend
of the future and retro (that is, prehistoric retro).
FASHION PARROT
Because the clothes of the Stone
Age are as extinct as stones
themselves! Yes, thanks to the
wonder of Fibrerockfibre, the world
of high fashion will be totally
transformed... by Fibre furs...
Fibre frocks... Fibre foundations
and Fibreshoes... it's to die
for!
211 FOURTH EXHIBIT 211
Now, we see a display of Fibrerock props of all kinds --
appliances, toys, tools, etc... all of it upstaged by a
choir consisting of every animal, bird and critter we've
seen in this film. Wilma, Betty, the kids and Dino ooh
and ahh with the other guests as the mechanical animals
all sing in unison --
FIBRE CHOIR (V.O.)
'It's a Fibre World you know,
It's a Fibre World you know,
It's a Fibre World you know -- '
CUT TO:
212 INT. BARNEY'S WORKSHOP - NIGHT 212
Fred and Barney are surrounded by books and cartons and
memorabilia. They have their arms around each other and
are singing.
FRED & BARNEY
'Now it's time to do or die, grab
that rock and kick it high, let's
fight, fight, fight for Bedrock
High!'
They break up laughing. Fred chuckles, looks at one of
the many old photographs strewn around.
FRED
Boy, those were the days, Barney.
Bedrock High winning all those
games... and you and me right in
the middle of it.
94.
213 NEW ANGLE - FAVORING PHOTO 213
The photograph (dots in stone) shows the young Fred and
Barney in their cheerleading costumes. Barney has a
sweater and megaphone; Fred is in a Godzilla-like
"mascot" costume. He's holding the hideously-sculpted
head under his arm.
BARNEY
Yeah. Too bad we never made the
team.
FRED
So what? We made the team spirit.
That's just as important...
whatever happened to those
cheerleader costumes?
BARNEY
You know Betty. She never throws
anything away.
He hauls out an old footlocker, opens it. There they
are.
FRED
(rummaging in it)
Boy. Talk about memories.
Fred tosses the cheerleader sweater to Barney, who grins,
pulls it on. Fred also starts to get into his old
"uniform," but has to suck his gut in mightily. Finally,
he can zip it up, stern to stem.
FRED
Back then, we thought a pop quiz
was a big problem. We didn't
know how good we had it. No
problems, no worries...
Saying this, Fred attempts to put on the Godzilla-like
head. He has a hard time sliding it into a hinge rail
behind his neck, an even harder time swinging it down and
forward.
BARNEY
Speaking of problems and worries,
shouldn't we get on over to
Slate's party?
Fred has finally "clinked" the monster head down into
place. Now, when he talks, the monster's mouth moves in
sync.
(CONTINUED)
95.
213 CONTINUED: 213
FRED
(echo-y)
What for? So him and all his
fancy friends can look down their
noses at us?
Completely covered in the ferocious-looking suit, Fred
steps over to Barney, stabs an angry claw in his
direction.
FRED
(echo-y)
All they've been doing is using us,
Barney. And meanwhile --
Now Fred reaches up to take the head off. It sticks for
a moment. Finally he gets it to flip back on its hinge
where it hangs behind his neck like a ski parka hood.
FRED
(normal voice)
-- Meanwhile all the time they
were laughing at us.
BARNEY
Yeah? When did you notice that?
FRED
About an hour ago.
BARNEY
Boy, there's no fooling you, Fred.
Suddenly, with a GROWING CREAKING, CRACKING and TINKLING,
a scale model of Slate City in the corner begins to fall
apart.
Fred and Barney look at each other, startled, then rush
over to the model. It's the interim version we saw
earlier.
214 CLOSER - MODEL 214
The decomposition continues, walls and supports turning
into sand and running down before our eyes. In a Rube
Goldberg-like continuum, the little houses go first,
falling like dominoes...
FRED
Wha... what's happening?
Barney tries to stop the process, can't.
(CONTINUED)
96.
214 CONTINUED: 214
BARNEY
I... I don't know... the Fibrerock
it's... it's decomposing... but
this shouldn't happen...
FRED
Your old models are just fine...
215 ANGLE 215
Indeed, the older models from Barney's tinkering days
are rock solid.
216 BACK TO SCENE 216
BARNEY
It should be. There's enough
coo-coo berry resin in there to
petrify a brontosaurus --
Suddenly Barney gets it. He looks from the older models
to the now decomposing little Fibresphere with growing
awareness.
BARNEY
(snapping his fingers)
-- The coo-coo berries! Fred,
that's it!
FRED
What's it?
BARNEY
Remember I said the Fibrefoam
tasted funny? It was the coo-coo
sap that was missing!
FRED
But.. why would --
BARNEY
Why? Because coo-coo berries are
as valuable as goldrock! And
we've had tons of 'em delivered
to the plant since we started...
somebody musta got greedy --
FRED
-- Not 'somebody' -- Lava!
BARNEY
(alarmed)
Fred, that sap acts as a fixative
-- it's the glue that holds the
whole formula together -- !
(CONTINUED)
97.
216 CONTINUED: 216
FRED
(with mounting concern)
Then... what's happening here...
BARNEY
(finishing it)
... Is gonna happen for real in
the real Slate City!
FRED
Oh no... Barney! Wilma and Betty
-- and the kids -- they're all
there --
With a final WHIMPER, the little FIBRESPHERE CAVES IN
and then the nearby SLATE NEEDLE CRUMBLES, model story
by model story. Finally the "DISK" on top of the needle
is all that's left, wobbling around like a spun dinner
plate. It finally falls... EXPLODES.
FRED
(worried)
-- B-barney... what do we do?
Barney runs to a locker, grabs a big plunger-powered
flit gun, begins filling it with a red liquid.
BARNEY
Coo-coo berry sap, Fred! It's
our only chance -- their only
chance!
Barney gives it a quick test squirt. Fred nods, and they
rush out of the room. CAMERA PUSHES IN ON the ruins of
the model "Slate City"...
CUT TO:
217 INT. SLATE NEEDLE - NIGHT 217
WIDEN FROM a young kid who is drinking a glass of water
and simultaneously singing with a ventriloquist's dummy.
Obviously, the talent show has begun.
In the audience, Lava fidgets with nervous and confident
energy... gives Wilma a big look.
LAVA
You're certainly looking lovely
this evening, Mrs. Flintstone.
Life with a junior executive must
agree with you.
(CONTINUED)
98.
217 CONTINUED: 217
WILMA
Uh... thank you... I think.
LAVA
(looking into her
eyes)
Yes. I think so, too.
(smiling)
Imagine how good you'd look
with a senior executive.
WILMA
Oh? Is Fred getting promoted?
Lava laughs, sure she's kidding... then not so sure. The
ventriloquist finishes to scattered applause. The kid
bows, gets up... splashes across puddles of water on the
stage area. The Headmistress of L'ecole Superior et al
steps up. Behind her, the picture window displays the
expanse of Slate City: The twin Slatescrapers framing
endless rows of little tract houses stretching to the
distant volcanic ridge.
HEADMISTRESS
(as applause dies)
Sank you, ladies and gentlemen.
An' sank you, Monsieur Slate for
zis lovely setting. Zoot alors,
zis will ze mos' fantas'tic
recital in Bedrock 'istoree. Now,
I would like to sank out mos'
generous benefactress, Madame
Slate for her fine support o'vair
zee years --
She gestures into the audience, where Mrs. Slate stands,
waves a gloved hand like the Queen Mother.
HEADMISTRESS
-- An' now, what better
introduction could we 'ave for
Mrs. Slate's vairy own gran'
nephew... Poindexter Lava!
She steps aside. Curtain rises on little Poindexter.
He is carrying a leather-and-bone accordion. He begins
to play:
POINDEXTER
(singing loudly)
'Dino of Spain, I adore you
Right from the moment I saw you -- '
99.
218 QUICK SHOTS - AUDIENCE 218
Their smiles become fixed. (Up on the spotlights, the
little birds who operate the lights put earplugs in their
ears.)
In the wings with Pebbles and Bam-Bam, DINO MOANS, hides
his head under his paws.
On the refreshment table, GLASSES CRACK... a cake falls.
219 CLOSE ON LAVA 219
He surreptitiously checks his wrist watch...
CUT TO:
220 INT. EMPTY FIBRERIDE - TIGHT ON ANOTHER WATCH - NIGHT 220
This one a pocket job. (Like Lava's, it's really a
little sundial with a built-in burning match above it to
provide a shadow!) We WIDEN, and see that this watch
is held in a green, scaley claw.
221 ANOTHER ANGLE 221
It's the xenosaurus, lurking behind the exhibits! Now,
the CREATURE GRUNTS confidently, lights up a cigar.
Then it picks up a canvas bag and a big toolbox and
tiptoes into the deeper recesses of the Fibre ride.
CUT TO:
222 INT. FRED'S CAR - TRAVELLING 222
Fred and Barney rush along, Fred at the wheel.
FRED
What'll we do when we get there?
BARNEY
We just tell Mister Slate that all
500 acres of his development are
going to crumble into dust any
minute.
(holds up the
flit gun)
Then we zap the stairs and
corridors with some of this
coo-coo sap. I just hope we have
enough to get everybody out --
whoops!
He's said this last because as he held up the flit gun,
the handle whacked the back of Fred's monster costume,
and the head has flipped down with a solid "clink."
(CONTINUED)
100.
222 CONTINUED: 222
FRED
Barney -- !
(swerving all
over the road)
-- I can't see straight --
Barney gets up on his knees, grabs the wheel with one
hand and the monster head with the other.
BARNEY
Hang on, hang on --
Oops. He rotates the head completely around. Fred
flails around. Barney grabs the wheel with one hand,
tries to help Fred with the other.
223 EXT. CAR - NIGHT 223
It careens around even more wildly now. There's several
near collisions.
CUT TO:
224 EXT. "ROCKDONALD'S" RESTAURANT - NIGHT 224
"Rockdonald's" is, of course, complete with golden arches
of stone, a drive-up window, etc. It even has the oblig-
atory cops on a break... in this case, Feldspar and
Gravel. They're sitting in their patrol car eating from
little bamboo containers shaped just like McDonald's
Styrofoam. (Of course, the logo on the building behind
them proudly reads "OVER 100 SOLD.")
FELDSPAR
(mouth full, bitching)
Speed traps again! Face it,
Gravel. I'm in a rut... and
meanwhile, the guys who went
through the academy with me,
they're all big shots now:
Sam Slate... Dirty Harock...
Magma, P.I. And you know why?
'Cause they got the breaks,
that's why!
Suddenly both officers react to the sound of SKIDDING
TIRES and HONKING HORNS. They look out their window
at --
225 FRED AND BARNEY - DRIVING PAST 225
both still battling the wheel and the resistant costume
head. (By now their gyrations have put Barney's face
inside the jaws of the monster mask.)
101.
226 BACK TO SCENE 226
GRAVEL
S-sarge, d-did you see that? Some
sorta creature was attacking that
little guy -- !
FELDSPAR
There's a lesson there, Gravel...
never pick up hitchhikers.
Besides --
(realizing)
-- Did you say 'creature'?
They do a big double-take at the now-vanishing car.
FELDSPAR & GRAVEL
The xenosaurus!
Excited, Feldspar bangs his dashboard and a DISPATCH
PARAKEET in a police uniform pops INTO VIEW. Feldspar
grabs it around the neck, holds it like a microphone.
FELDSPAR
This is a xenosaurus alert.
Repeat, a xenosaurus alert. The
creature has been sighted on the
Slate City exit of the Venturock
Freeway! It is driving a brown
late model sedan and eating a
white male Caucasian. Car twelve
is in hot pursuit.
He releases the bird, which doesn't fly away right away,
but gives him a look.
FELDSPAR
(remembering)
Oh, yeay... over and out!
The bird nods, appeased, flies off.
DISPATCH PARAKEET
(as it goes)
Awwk! Car Twelve is on the way.
Car Twelve is on the way...
FELDSPAR
(thrilled)
Gravel, this could mean promotions
for both of us!
(trotting up to
speed)
Load the shotgun and turn on the
siren!
102.
227 FRED'S CAR - TRAVELLING 227
Barney is rocking Fred's head back and forth, finally
gives it one last mighty yank. Something breaks.
Barney falls back on the passenger side of the car.
Fred drives with one hand, "raps" the monster head.
It rattles. When Fred speaks again, the monster mouth
no longer opens and closes in sync.
FRED
(muffled, shouting)
Ho, gweat! Hoo bwoke hit,
Bahnee! Hi khnat twalk hennymore!
Suddenly both men (pardon, man and xenosaurus) react to
an approaching SIREN. They both look back at --
228 FELSPAR'S PATROL CAR 228
Closing in. Gravel has produced a little sabre tooth
CAT and is "cranking" its tail. As it WAILS away, the
cops close in on our heroes.
229 BACK TO SCENE 229
FRED
Ho noh! Ahhrisser Felghspah!
(turning to Barney)
Haybee whee hould shtop -- ?
BARNEY
What, and explain what you're
doing in that costume? Start
talking about coo-coo berries and
Fibrerock? By then it'll be too
late!
FRED
'Hen yore height, yore height...
Fred pours on more speed. They careen around a turn.
CAMERA WHIP PANS TO a road sign: SLATE CITY--1 MI.
230 SLATE CITY - REAR GATE 230
A fence surrounds the empty housing development; in the
distance, we can see the dark Slate Scrapers, and past
them, the brightly-lit and gleaming Fibersphere and
Slate Needle.
We hear a SCREECH and then the CAMERA PANS BACK to pickup
Fred's CAR as it whips around a turn, two wheels off the
ground. It crashes right into the gate, knocking down a
sign reading "SLATE CITY--DELIVERY GATE." The fence
collapses all around the car.
103.
231 NEW ANGLE 231
Fred and Barney stagger out of the wreck. Barney,
covered with debris, rummages around and sighs with
relief when he finds the flit gun of coo-coo sap is
still intact.
BARNEY
(hearing a siren)
We'd better split up; that way at
least one of us can make it to the
Slate Needle -- !
FRED
'Ood hidea. Ood whuk, ol' bhudee.
They slap hands together like basketball players, then
head off in two directions.
CUT TO:
232 INT. SLATE NEEDLE 232
CAMERA PANS the audience as the accordion recital con-
tinues. Several people look visibly ill. Finally,
CAMERA ADJUSTS to take in Poindexter's big finish as he
slides forward on his knees.
There's a scattering of half-hearted applause, led by
Lava and the Slates.
HEADMISTRESS
Sank you, sank you. Our nex'
performance is Bam-Bam, Pebbles...
(checking notes)
... an' friend.
She steps aside as a spotlight picks out --
233 PEBBLES, BAM-BAM & DINO 233
poised in the stances we recognize as the "first
positions" of the "Dino Dance." However, whereas the
previous version of this was done impromptu and
a cappella with only a few primitive props and straw
hats alone, this time the kids and Dino are fully
costumed, with sequins, batons and the like, and the
dance is completely choreographed.
KIDS
You can keep the twist,
the frug and hop --
234 VARIOUS ANGLES 234
As the Dino dance begins, FULL ORCHESTRATION OVER IT.
The audience seems to really like it -- all except --
104.
235 MRS. SLATE 235
who glances over at the judges long enough to see that
they like this a lot better than the accordion act.
Suddenly Mrs. Slate jumps up, barges on stage. The
MUSIC DIES.
HEADMISTRESS
Madame Slate, what ees wrong -- ?
MRS. SLATE
I'll tell you what's wrong! This
'act' is an absolute disgrace!
This is supposed to be a talent
show! And a pedestrian animal act
like this belongs in a circus!
236 WILMA AND BETTY 236
React, furious, jump out of their seats.
BETTY
A circus, huh? Well, if our kids
belong in a circus with their act,
then your little nephew belongs in
a zoo with his --
WILMA
Yeah -- a zoo where the animals
are dead -- because if they aren't,
they will be!
MRS. SLATE
Why, how dare you! Mrs.
Flintstein, I'll have you know
that my little Poindexter has been
trained by the finest tutors!
Poindexter! Show them! Encore!
The kid jumps up, begins to play. Immediately another
GLASS SHATTERS. But then the CEILING FIXTURES CRACK,
and then the PICTURE WINDOW PANELS begin to SHATTER one
by one.
MRS. SLATE
(alarmed)
Ah... Poindexter... that's enough
... Poindexter...?
The kids stops... But another WINDOW PANEL EXPLODES.
Then one of the tables collapses.
Pause. Every head in the room swivels around and stares
at Poindexter. Nervous, he tosses the accordion aside.
But the destruction continues: Another WINDOW PANEL
SHATTERS. Then, the entire building shakes.
105.
237 SLATE 237
Loses his balance, grabs onto Lava for support, ends up
pulling him down, too. Slate gets to his knees and looks
out the window... and his jaw drops in astonishment.
238 HIS POV - SLATE CITY 238
In the distance, with a CRACKLING ROAR, the little rows
of Fibrerock tract houses are falling like dominoes in
a wave that is rolling toward the Slate Needle.
239 SLATE CITY DEVELOPMENT - NIGHT 239
A flashlight beam rakes the CAMERA. Feldspar, shotgun
in one hand, light in the other, looks around cautiously.
(The shotgun has a slingshot mechanism; the flashlight
is a mirror-backed candle.)
Behind him, FOOTSTEPS APPROACH. Feldspar tenses, but
it's --
GRAVEL
No sign of the driver...
FELDSPAR
You kidding? By now he's a couple
of shinbones and a belch.
Gravel drops down on one knee, excited. He shines his
light on Fred's big "clawprints."
GRAVEL
Holy cowasaurus! Look how deep
these tracks are! That xeno thing
must weigh a ton!
They aim their lights at the tracks, begin to follow
them. Suddenly they round a corner and come face to
face with --
240 NEW ANGLE - FRED 240
He's stopped between two sample homes to wrestle with
the monster head again. Now, he freezes in twin flash-
light beams!
FELDSPAR
Okay, lizard, reach for the sky!
Fred hesitates... then, hearing a CREAK and GROAN, he
looks at the HOUSE beside him. The stucco-like exterior
of Fibrerock is beginning to crumble.
(CONTINUED)
106.
240 CONTINUED: 240
FRED
Offisser Fledapar, het me hexpwain
-- his howse hiss maid uv
fibahwock --
He reaches out to tap the nearby wall and -- WHAM -- it
collapses all around him, leaving a gaping hole in the
house!
FELDSPAR
(frightened, backing
away)
Quivering quartzite, d-did you
see that --
GRAVEL
(following him)
O-one flick of his paw... and
he knocked down a wall -- !
FRED
Nogh, wate, chum baggk --
As Fred "roars" and moves forward, Feldspar and Gravel
scream, panic, and run!
241 FRED 241
Tries to catch up and collides with the already damaged
house. It collapses totally, falling in on itself,
obscuring Fred. Finally the last TIMBER DROPS. Pause.
Fred staggers out of the rubble, realizes that the impact
has knocked the monster mask off his head and back on its
hinges. He rubs dust out of his eyes, turns and looks
at the Slate Needle. He's much closer to it now.
Quickly, he runs toward it.
CUT TO:
242 INSIDE THE SLATE NEEDLE 242
Everyone is rocking back and forth with the escalating
vibrations of the swaying building. The remaining table
of refreshments slides across the room.
243 POINDEXTER LAVA 243
gets hit full force by a flying cake shaped like Slate
City. He falls on top of his accordion, smashing it with
one last dissonant squeeze.
107.
244 PARTYGOERS 244
They pause in their panic to applaud gratefully.
CUT TO:
245 EXT. BASE OF FIBRESPHERE AND SLATE NEEDLE - NIGHT 245
The supporting pylons and cable anchors begin to slowly
decompose. A FLIGHT of STAIRS CREAKS AND GROANS.
Barney runs INTO the SHOT, sees the steps about to go,
dives for them... too late! He ends up with a face full
of Fibredust! Now, he whirls as Fred runs up, points --
FRED
Barney! The elevator -- !
Barney runs toward it, hits the button.
246 OTHER SIDE OF WALL 246
REVEALING elevator mechanism. The button pokes a mouse
which runs out of a box. Seeing the mouse, a nearby
mastadon becomes frightened, begins running. A heavy
cable tied to the mastadon runs over a pulley and into --
247 THE ELEVATOR SHAFT 247
-- where the elevator rises out of the sub-level and
INTO VIEW! Fred and Barny start towards it... when
suddenly the Fibrerock elevator begins to crumble!
FRED
Quick! Use your coo-coo gun -- !
Barney aims, pulls back the plunger... too late! The
elevator is gone. The cable swings back and forth
loosely, "whapping" the shaft walls as it shoots upwards.
Fred dives for the cable, misses! As he stumbles, Barney
leaps on Fred's back, catches the cable! As Barney
starts to whizz upwards, Fred garbs onto his ankles!
248 ABOVE - FIBRESPHERE 248
Propelled upwards, the would-be rescuers shoot OUT of
the FRAME, disappear into the Fibresphere with a CRASH!
CUT TO:
249 INT. BEDROCK POLICE STATION - NIGHT 249
The POLICE CHIEF looks skeptically at Feldspar and
Gravel, who are exhausted, covered with dust, uniforms
torn.
(CONTINUED)
108.
249 CONTINUED: 249
CHIEF
Feldspar, if you ask me, you've
seen too many Rockzilla movies: In
all the Xenosaurus sightings we've
had reported, not one has had this
kind of wholesale destruction --
FELDSPAR
Chief, you -- you gotta believe me
-- just one swipe of its paw and
-- wham -- a whole house was
pre-history -- !
Suddenly one of those police DISPATCH PARAKEETS comes
flying excitedly through the window, lands on a perch in
front of the Chief.
DISPATCH PARAKEET
Calling all cars. Calling all cars.
Unconfirmed reports of destruction
and collapse at Slate City.
Rescue vehicles are on the way.
The xenosaurus has been spotted
in the area. That is all. That
is all.
FELDSPAR
(excited)
You see -- ? I told you --
CHIEF
All right, Feldspar, I'm
convinced! As of this moment
you're completely in charge of
operation...
(dramatic)
... 'Xeno Dino'! Now, what do
you need?
CAMERA TIGHTENS ON Feldspar. This is the moment he's
waited for all his life.
FELDSPAR
(firm-jawed)
Artillery.
CUT TO:
250 INT. FIBRESPHERE - NIGHT 250
Dust and little fragments of construction material are
still tinkling down around our heroes. The elevator
cable sways from its uppermost pulley. Slowly, something
stirs in the pile of arms, legs and scaly limbs.
(CONTINUED)
109.
250 CONTINUED: 250
First to sit up is Barney, who groans, rubs his head.
Next, Fred sits up. Damn! The impact has knocked Fred's
monster mask back on his head! Fred mutters angrily...
Barney starts to help... and then they both notice that
there's another monstrous head in the middle of their
group! There're big "takes" all around, and then the
xenosaurus leaps out of the tangle of bodies, treads
air, and runs away!
BARNEY
(recovering)
Fred, stop it! It might know
the way inside!
Fred "gets up to speed" and chases the xeno. Barney
follows.
251 NEW ANGLE 251
Fred and Barney both leap on the mysterious xenosaurus --
all crash through a wall --
252 INT. SLATE NEEDLE - NIGHT 252
The panicked partygoers turn as a section of wall
collapses. Dust and debris billow upwards. The battered
monster mask breaks loose from Fred's costume, bounces
on the floor. Slowly, everyone gets up: Fred... Barney
... and two halves of the xenosaurus:
The bottom half is Piltdown; the top-half is Pyrite.
WILMA BETTY
Fred? Barney?
PEBBLES BAM-BAM
Daddy! Pop!
FRED BARNEY
Piltdown? Pyrite?
SLATE
What the devil's going on here?
FRED
It's real simple, Mister Slate.
Your boy Lava here has been
stealing the coo-coo berries from
the Fibrerock mix and fixing the
books to hide it!
LAVA
That's ridiculous, Flintstone!
Nobody could get that many coo-coo
berries off our premises!
(CONTINUED)
110.
252 CONTINUED: 252
Suddenly the bottom of Piltdown's canvas sack rips
open. Thousands and thousands of coo-coo berries tumble
out.
253 LAVA 253
Slaps his hands over his face.
254 THE SCENE 254
BETTY
(dryly)
These sure look like coo-coo
berries to me --
LAVA
(smoothly)
They're convincing fakes, Mrs.
Rubble -- part of our exciting
display --
PYRITE
Fakes?
(to Piltdown)
Gee, Pilty, I thought the real
ones were gonna be moved up here
for us ta steal -- whatta waste
a time --
PILTDOWN
Pyrite, shaddup --
FRED
(snapping fingers)
Now I remember! These guys were
pulling this xenosaurus act that
night at the plant! What's this,
Lava... 'Plan B'?
LAVA
Uncle! Are you going to stand
there while aspersions are being
cast at the Slate family? This
is absurd --
SLATE
Of course it is! Why, without
the coo-coo berry sap, Fibrerock
would be completely --
(realizing)
-- unstable...
Suddenly the entire building shudders. Dust falls from
the ceiling. Everyone looks at Lava.
(CONTINUED)
111.
254 CONTINUED: 254
LAVA
All right, all right, I admit it!
I got in over my head in the stock
market... took some big losses...
I had these guys pull jobs for me
all over town disguised as a
monster... but it still wasn't
enough... and when I saw all those
coo-coo berries being delivered
every day, I guess I just lost my
head... I figured with the Woca
sap in the Fibremix, the berry
juice as superfluous...
SLATE
I'll tell you what's superfluous,
Lava... your liver! So why don't
we remove it -- !
He leaps, snarling, on top of Lava... Fred and Barney
pull them apart. Then, more falling dust and beams give
everyone more pressing problems --
CUT TO:
255 EXT. SLATE NEEDLE - NIGHT 255
Rescue VEHICLES and police CARS ROAR up, slam to a halt,
CAT SIRENS WAILING. The rescue workers jump out.
Firefighters carry circular trampolines of hide stitched
to bamboo frames; others go to the back of their trucks
and start to turn cranks on the hook and ladder trucks to
raise the ladders.
256 CLOSE ON A HOOK AND LADDER TRUCK 256
It's actually a wheeled carriage carrying a firesaurus,
which is a critter with a very tiny body and an incred-
ibly long neck. The bony plates on the creature's back
make perfect stairs.
However, the creature is noticeably listless and
uncooperative.
FIRE CHIEF
Come on, come on, what's the hold
up -- ?
FIREFIGHTER
It's the kibble crisis, sir --
the firesauruses have been on
half-rations for a month!
Above them, the BUILDING SHUDDERS again.
112.
257 IN THE SLATE NEEDLE 257
Now, the remaining LIGHT FIXTURES CRASH down. When they
hit the floor, the oil lamps inside spills and fire
spreads.
WILMA
(pointing)
Fred! There's a fire hose -- !
Indeed, it's on the back wall in a closed box marked FIRE
HOSE--IN CASE OF EMERGENCY BREAK GLASS. Fred and Barney
take a step towards it, but the fire quickly spreads and
cuts them off.
Helpless, they step back.
With a THUNDEROUS ROAR, the two SLATE SCRAPERS visible
through what's left of the picture window COLLAPSE. Then
the big statue of Slate just outside the window begins to
decompose. It falls in on itself like a sand sculpture
in a storm... finally, for a split second it is, well,
life-sized, and then the head of the statue snaps loose,
CRASHES through the only remaining pane of GLASS here
... rolls up to Slate's feet.
Pause. Everyone looks at everyone else. This is it:
Titanic time. Fred embraces Wilma... Barney embraces
Betty. Their kids are pulled into the clinch. Even
Slate takes Mrs. Slate's hand. Talk about grace under
pressure... and speaking of --
258 GRACE 258
-- the star fashion model, suddenly her Fibrethread
costume decomposes, leaving her in her cute little
animal print undies.
259 BETTY 259
In the middle of going down with the ship, she turns
Bam-Bam's face away from this display.
BAM-BAM
D-dad, are we gonna be okay?
BARNEY
(pause; false smile)
Sure, pal. We just gotta wait for
the fire department. Right, Fred?
FRED
Y-yeah. Everything's gonna be
just -- Whoa, hoo-hah, aggh --
(CONTINUED)
113.
259 CONTINUED: 259
He's started yelping because he's realized his arm is
on fire, and now he jumps up and the others begin beating
at the arm with anything in their hands, and then Fred
suddenly pushes away from them, stands there with a small
flame flickering on his forearm like a Rock Vegas stage
magician.
FRED
-- Wait a minute -- I don't feel
anything at all --
With his other "claw" he slaps tentatively at the flames,
and then confidentially snuffs it out.
BARNEY
It must be the suit, Fred -- old
Bedrock High built them things to
last --
Fred looks over at the wall of flame separating the
guests from the fire hose. As everyone gets the same
idea, Dino rushes up, the costume head in his mouth.
All brighten.
Barney helps Fred with the head, twists it into place.
BARNEY
(rapping on the head)
-- Okay?
FRED
Hist hust fine!
He lowers his head, runs through the fire, which licks
at him harmlessly. Then with his claw, he SMASHES the
amber GLASS --
260 IN THE BOX 260
A big PYTHONSAURUS is curled up inside, SNORING. (Note
to herpetologists: The pythonosaurus is not quite a
snake: it has little vestigial forepaws the better to
emote with. Right now the snoring head is in those
little paws.)
The Pythonsaurus stirs, looks at Fred, "sniffs" the
smoke. Then he raises one hand and finger as if to say
"one moment." Then the pythonsaurus turns his head
towards a nozzle like the ones in hamster cages, slurps
loudly.
We hear gallons and gallons of WATER GURGLING away...
114.
261 IN THE MAIN ROOM 261
Everyone retreats from the fire. Slate picks up the head
of the statue, his only souvenir.
262 WITH FRED 262
Waiting impatiently until the pythonsaurus finally
finishes drinking. It wipes its mouth daintily with a
napkin, slaps a little fire helmet on its head, turns
and runs back into the other room. (Behind him, yards
and yards of pythonsaurus unroll from a hidden compart-
ment behind the box.) Water shoots out of the creature's
mouth.
263 WIDER 263
Fred turns in a semi-circle and puts out every lick of
flame in the room. All the guests cheer, rush forward
and slap Fred on the back. Pebbles jumps up on him and
kisses him.
FRED
Hit fuzz nudding... wheely...
The pythonsaurus looks around at the attention.
PYTHONSAURUS
Hey, what am I, chopped liver?
BARNEY
Come on, everybody -- we'll go
out the way we came!
Barney squirts a pathway with his flit gun, solidifying
a route in the crumbling Fibrerock. Then Barney and
Fred stand back nobly, wave everyone on into the adjacent
Fibresphere.
POINDEXTER
(pushing and shoving)
Outta the way -- outta the way --
women and children first -- ! I
mean, ah, children and women
first, yeah, yeah, provided that
uh, there's room for the women...
Meanwhile, the pythonsaurus gives Fred (or rather his
costume) a big look up and down, looks TOWARD the CAMERA.
PYTHONSAURUS
Hey, not bad. Wonder if she lives
around here.
Just then Fred tilts back the monster head. The
pythonsaurus reacts.
(CONTINUED)
115.
263 CONTINUED: 263
PYTHONSAURUS
Heartbreaker!
Depressed, the pythonsaurus follows the others. Fred and
Barney cross over into the Fibresphere. As the do, Slate
Needle completely collapses.
264 EXT. FIBRESPHERE - LONG SHOT 264
The Slate Needle tumbles down, taking a big chunk of the
Fibresphere with it! But the rest of the huge globe
stays put... for now.
265 RESCUE WORKERS BELOW 265
gasp, cry out --
266 UP ABOVE 266
Already the first partygoers are sliding down the
elevator cable.
HEADMISTRESS
(panicking)
Oh, geez, we're all gonna croak --
I neva shoulda left Far Rockaway --
Wilma gives her a big suspicious look -- blanching,
the Headmistress slides down the cable --
267 BELOW 267
The rescue teams catch the people in nets as they hit
the ground.
268 ABOVE 268
Barney gives the dwindling circle of solid Fibre around
the group another shot of coo-coo juice. Poindexter Lava
pushes his way forward.
POINDEXTER
(to anyone and everyone)
Fifty clams for a piggy-back ride
... a hundred clams!
MRS. SLATE
(aghast)
Do you see that, Jerry? Do you
see how my great-nephew is behaving
at this moment of crisis?
(CONTINUED)
116.
268 CONTINUED: 268
LAVA
(proudly)
Yeah. Real chip off the old
block, ain't he?
Embarrassed, Mrs. Slate grabs the kid by the neck,
practically throws him at the cable. She follows him
down, followed by Lava and Mr. Slate.
269 REAR OF FLEEING PEOPLE 269
Fred and Barney have bravely held up the rear, their
families clutching to them. Barney's carrying Bam-Bam.
FRED
(to Pebbles)
Upsy-daisy, sweetheart -- piggy
back time!
She jumps on his back... slamming the monster head
back in place.
FRED
(resigned)
Hohh... GWEAT!
BARNEY
(to Betty)
Go on, honey... I got Bam-Bam!
BETTY
Barney... tonight you're the
biggest man in Bedrock.
She kisses him, slides down.
270 CLOSE ON WILMA AND FRED 270
Backlit romantically by the flames, just like Gable and
Leigh when Atlanta burned.
FRED
(through the mask)
Wilmagh, I jusght whunt to sagh
thad I knogh shumtimes I dogh
dumb thinks... Bhut hit's
becaughse high luff yough sogh
much thaght high whant yough to
livgh likge a pwincess orgh a
qween 'cause you reaally arggh
rugg aaggg hummmmg higga!
(CONTINUED)
117.
270 CONTINUED: 270
WILMA
Oh, Fred -- that's the most
beautiful thing I've ever heard!
They kiss... she drops to safety...!
271 BELOW 271
Wilma slides into a rescue net, gets on unsteady feet
next to Betty.
272 BACK UPSTAIRS 272
FRED
Lhet's dogh it!
Their kids on their backs, Fred and Barney exchange a
heroic forearm-to-forearm gladiator-type handshake...
both put their hands on the cable... and then the whole
pulley mechanism falls right down between them and
through the hole! A second later, the entire remaining
structure collapses!
273 BELOW 273
Everyone reacts in horror --
274 ABOVE 274
Dust and smoke clear. When we can see again, well, it's
not a pretty sight. The entire fibresphere is gone. All
that's left, teetering on two spindly supports, are two
tiny islands of safety connected by a twisted maze of
rubble too small for a human to negotiate... and all
that's holding that up is a long guide wire leading to the
ground!
275 CLOSER 275
Figures on one of the islands stir: Fred. Barney.
Bam-Bam... Pebbles! The platform shudders again. Barney
aims the flit gun -- empty! The dads hold on to the
kids. It's all they can do.
276 BELOW 276
Wilma and Betty gasp... what can be done?
277 THE SECOND ISLAND 277
Bricks and chunks of Fibre stir... a form sits up...
it's -- Dino! He looks around at the situation, becomes
agitated... he wants to help... but how?
118.
278 WILMA AND BETTY 278
Suddenly become inspired.
BETTY
W-wilma... those hoops of bamboo...
those wires... do you think -- ?
WILMA
Yes! Yes! Betty, we have to try
it -- ! Dino! Dino, look down
here -- !
279 DINO 279
Obeys, puzzled --
280 HIS POV - WILMA AND BETTY 280
Amazingly, they grab scraps of wood, borrow fire
fighter's helmets, and begin to do a buck and wing.
WILMA AND BETTY
You can keep the twist,
the frug and hop
I don't need to shimmy,
I don't need to bop --
281 BIG CAMERA PUSH - DINO 281
MUSIC COMES UP DRAMATICALLY as he catches on! His eyes
fill with courage and he charges toward the spindly
bridge that leads to his master and friends.
282 ANOTHER ANGLE 282
Dino dives through the hoops of bamboo, duplicating his
steps in "The Dino Dance." He reaches the other island!
Without a beat, still keeping time, he puts the two kids
on his shoulders, just like in the dance! Then he
"presents" his tail to Fred -- Fred hands his tail to
Barney -- and then --
283 LONG SHOT 283
-- Dino slides down the long wire, carrying everyone to
safety! They all plow into the biggest rescue net as
Wilma and Betty wind up!
WILMA AND BETTY
Yes, I don't need to shimmy,
I don't need to bop
'Cause I'm doin', doin', doin'
THE IGNEOUS ROCK!
119.
284 FRED 284
rolls out of the net and away from the others. He's
slightly stunned, still in the suit. He sits up...
suddenly lights snap on all around him! Fred looks up
and sees --
285 HIS POV - CORDON OF POLICE OFFICERS 285
All with weapons aimed right at him. Spotlights on the
police car roofs (actually little fires with parabolic
mirrors) are operated by uniformed monkeys.
Feldspar is at the head of the group. He cocks his
shotgun. The elastic catapults at the hammers twitch
menacingly --
FELDSPAR
It's the xenosaurus -- stand back,
men -- it's a vicious killer --
Ready -- Aim --
FRED
(with desperate poignancy)
High ham noght a zenosore! High
ham hay hooman beeng -- !
BAM! WHAM! KABAM! Bullets and projectiles begin
slamming all around Fred! He ducks behind a big fallen
chunk of Fibrerock -- catches his breath as the bullets
and shells bounce off its resilient surface.
286 CLOSE - FRED 286
Momentarily safe, he tries desperately to remove that
stupid head -- bangs it against the wall, tears at it
with his claws --
-- meanwhile, the chunk of Fibrerock protecting him
decomposes! He's back in the line of fire!
287 DINO 287
Flanked by Wilma, Barney and the kids, who are shouting
for the police to stop, only Dino the wonder bronto has
the wits to act!
"YI-YI-YI-ING," he races forward, CAMERA FOLLOWING --
and with lightning reflexes grabs the seat of Fred's
monster suit and -- de-pants him!
Instantly, Dino whirls Fred around, points to the now
revealed striped undershorts.
288 WIDER 288
Pause.
(CONTINUED)
120.
288 CONTINUED: 288
Then Officer Gravel takes a good look at that rear end.
GRAVEL
Hey, those are the biggest shorts
I've ever seen...
(realizing)
... It... it must be Mister
Flintstone! Cease fire!
(to Feldspar)
Gee, Sarge, now you don't have
to shoot him -- !
Now Fred confirms Gravel's hunch as the costume head
finally pops off. All the cops lower their guns.
(Strangely, though, Feldspar still continues to raise
his gun -- even aims! Then an alarmed Gravel wrestles
it away from his superior.)
289 THE FLINTSTONES AND RUBBLES - DAWN 289
Safe, they all emotionally embrace. Fred even suffers
Dino's affection. (In the b.g., a police car holding
Piltdown, Pyrite and Lava drives past. Poindexter Lava
is chasing the car.)
POINDEXTER
(distant)
Dad! Dad! Can I use the
Porscherock while you're in the
slammer?
Suddenly the Slates push their way into the group hug.
SLATE
Flintstone. Rubble. I... I
don't know what to say. I... I
treated you horribly... I ignored
you, abused you... and then you
come here and risk your necks like
this... well, there's no price you
can put on something like that,
so I won't even try. But let me
give you...
(with great
poignancy)
... a hearty handshake.
MRS. SLATE
Dear, don't you think a little
more than that is in order?
SLATE
Honey, you're being hysterical,
go lie down, okay?
(CONTINUED)
121.
289 CONTINUED: 289
MRS. SLATE
I am not being hysterical, I am
being fair -- now the Flintsteins
and Rabbles saved all of our
lives, not to mention your
reputation.
SLATE
(sighing)
Okay, okay.
(to Fred and Barney)
Boys, I'm feeling guilty about
how you've been taken advantage
of, so I'll tell you what... I'm
going to give you back all
world-wide rights to Fibrerock,
free and clear.
He picks up a fragment of stone, begins writing on it.
SLATE
Your only obligation will be to
cover oh, whatever legal expenses
might surface at some later time...
BARNEY
You think there's gonna be some?
Slate looks around at --
290 HIS POV - THE RUINS AND DESTRUCTION 290
Smoking desolation as far as the eye and CAMERA can see.
As we watch the last remaining fragment of Slate City
collapse, crushing a police car.
291 BACK TO SCENE 291
SLATE
(casually)
Oh, you never know...
292 RESCUE DINOS 292
Several sniff at the air, look curiously at a nearby
pile of crumbled Fibrerock. One and then another
shuffles over, tentatively tastes some... grins... and
digs in! Seeing this, the "firesauruses" crane out
their necks, also begin chowing down on the pile of
Fibrerock crumbs.
293 FRED, BARNEY, SLATE AND OTHERS 293
All turn at the growing sound of the ANIMALS PIGGING OUT.
(CONTINUED)
122.
293 CONTINUED: 293
Now DINO "YI-YI-YI'S" past this group and leaps into the
pile, munching like crazy.
Barney puts out his hand as chunks of Fibrerock shower
down like rain from the feeding frenzy. Catching some
pieces, he nibbles on it a little.
FRED
Barn...? What's going on?
BARNEY
(sniffing it)
Lava Lava leaves... Woca sap...
all still there, but now the
nutrients are all released...
(realizing)
... Fred, this... this is Dino
kibble!
FRED
Dino kibble...?
Disbelieving, Fred moves over to the happily-munching
animals. He has to get on his knees to wiggle in with
the pack. He grabs some, stuffs it in his mouth...
chews. His eyes widen...
FRED
(mouth full)
Dhinough khibble!!
He spits it out, takes out the chunk of contract
Slate wrote on.
FRED
Barney, we -- we're rich!
Yabba dabba do -- !
294 SLATE 294
Faints dead away! The CAMERA PULLS BACK... BACK...
BACK --
295 EXT. DRIVE-IN MOVIE THEATRE - NIGHT 295
We're back where we began. As "The End" appears on the
drive-in screen, cars are streaming out of the drive-in
theatre. The Flintstone car is among them.
296 EXT. DRIVE-IN RESTAURANT - NIGHT 296
Fred and company roll into a '50's-style drive-in
restaurant. A sign advertises BRONTO BURGERS AND RIBS.
(CONTINUED)
123.
296 CONTINUED: 296
A pretty carhop on stone roller skates glides over.
Fred holds up one finger towards her. She nods, scampers
O.S. Fred rubs his hands and licks his lips with antici-
pation... and then the girl returns with a massive rack
of ribs on a car tray. She hooks it on the edge of
the driver's door... and the entire car tips over with a
crash.
CUT TO:
297 EXT. FLINTSTONE HOUSE - NIGHT 297
WIDEN FROM the mailbox. Fred and family pull up. Dino
runs in first, followed by Wilma with Pebbles already
asleep on her shoulder. Fred follows, the saber-tooth
cat on his heels. Fred stops in the doorway to put a
milk bottle on the doorstep, and then puts the cat down
beside it. He shuts the door.
Quick as a flash, the cat leaps through the side window.
Pause. The door opens and the cat puts Fred out, then
slams the door! Fred recovers from his shock, tries the
door... it's locked!
MUSIC (V.O.)
We'll have a yabba
dabba-do time
A dabba-do time
We'll have a gay old time!
FRED
(knocking)
Wilma...?
(another knock)
... Wilma?
CAMERA CRANES UP, WIDENS as Fred becomes a tiny sil-
houette banging on the door.
FRED
Wilma? Wil-ma --!
FADE OUT.
THE END
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