THE REAL GHOSTBUSTERS
"Poultrygeist!"
by
Duane Capizzi
and
Steven Roberts
Last revised May 12, 1988
ACT ONE
-------
FADE IN:
EXT. -- A FARMHOUSE OUTSIDE NEW YORK CITY -- NIGHT
On the farmhouse roof a CHICKEN-SHAPED WEATHERVANE stands silhouetted
against a FULL, BLOOD-RED MOON. The wind HOWLS and the vane swivels with
an EERIE SQUEAK. Then a weird ANIMAL CRY is heard--a cross between a
chicken CROWING and a wolf HOWLING.
WERECHICKEN (VO)
(A CROWING HOWL)
CAMERA PANS DOWN TO:
CHICKEN PEN
A fenced-in dirt area with numerous CHICKENS milling around, CLUCKING as
they peck at the ground.
WERECHICKEN (VO)
(ANOTHER HOWL, nearer now)
The chickens' heads jerk up toward the sound.
WERECHICKEN'S POV -- MOVING
A RED-tinted, shaky, MOVING CAMERA TRUCK-IN on the chickens. (These shots
are in the style of the POV SHOTS in WOLFEN.) Magnified GURGLING and
HEAVY BREATHING of Werechicken is heard.
WERECHICKEN (VO)
(GURGLING, HEAVY BREATHING)
The terrified chickens stare INTO CAMERA as the Werechicken moves closer,
his shadow falling over them. They flap into their coop, SQUAWKING
wildly.
INT. -- FARMHOUSE LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT
MAUDE and ZEKE sit on the sagging couch watching a werewolf movie on TV
while munching popcorn from a huge bowl. They're distracted by CHICKENS
SQUAWKING.
ZEKE
Sump'n's stirrin' up the chickens, Maude.
MAUDE
Jes' set easy, Zeke.
(she rises; heads for door)
I'll take a look-see.
Zeke continues staring at TV.
EXT. FARMHOUSE -- NIGHT -- WERECHICKEN'S POV
Through the Werechicken's red eyes, we see a distant image of Maude with a
flashlight, approaching the fenced-in chicken pen and opening the gate.
CAMERA STARTS MOVING IN toward Maude as she enters, leaving gate open.
WERECHICKEN (VO)
(GURGLING, HEAVY BREATHING)
ANGLE WITHIN CHICKEN PEN
The dirt compound is empty now as Maude crosses toward wooden chicken
coop.
MAUDE
(as she goes)
Here, chick-chick-chick-chick.
INT. CHICKEN COOP -- OTS MAUDE
AS Maude ENTERS from OUT OF CAMERA, her flashlight beam illuminates the
chickens cowering on their roosts in a corner. They CLUCK nervously.
MAUDE
What's got you girls so durned upset?
There a coyote sneakin' 'round?
Suddenly the Werechicken's shadow moves up Maude's back, then the wall.
WERECHICKEN (VO)
(Low, gutteral CLU-UCK)
Maude looks over her shoulder AT CAMERA, reacts.
MAUDE
(GASP!)
MAUDE'S POV -- THE WERECHICKEN
Red-eyed, grotesque, three times the size of an ordinary rooster as it
stands framed in the moonlit doorway. It opens its fanged beak in a
horrifying SHRIEK as it springs AT CAMERA, wings flapping.
WERECHICKEN
(Frightening SHRIEK)
INT. FARMHOUSE LIVING ROOM - CLOSE ON TV
Old black-and-white movie. MELODRAMATIC MUSIC as a man turns into a
werewolf, his HOWL a continuation of the previous Werechicken SHRIEK.
TV WEREWOLF
(eerie HOWL)
WIDER ANGLE - ZEKE
continues watching TV and eating popcorn. Maude walks stiffly into room
behind him, eyes staring blankly.
ZEKE
(without looking up)
Everythin' okay out there, Maude?
WAIST SHOT -- MAUDE
She stares with glassy, red eyes and CLUCKS quietly.
MAUDE-CHICKEN
(CLUCKS)
ZEKE (VO)
What say?
PAN DOWN below Maude's waist to reveal that she's turning into a chicken
from the feet up. First her shoes RIP apart as large, yellow chicken feet
sprout. Then her dress SWELLS and SPLITS, revealing a large, feathered
body underneath. The only piece of clothing left on her is her apron. One
foot scratches the floor.
MAUDE-CHICKEN (VO)
(more CLUCKS)
WIDER ANGLE -- FULLSHOT OF MAUDE-CHICKEN
Now completely transformed and six feet tall, she leaps up to perch on
back of couch, THRUSTING her chicken head repeatedly into the popcorn bowl
in Zeke's lap, pecking the bowl clean. Zeke's jaw hangs open, speechless,
as he stares at the fanged, drooling, six-foot Werechicken. The
Werechicken looks up from the empty bowl, right in Zeke's terrified eyes.
ZEKE
(SCREAMS)
He scrambles backwards off the couch.
EXT. FARMHOUSE -- NIGHT - WERECHICKEN'S POV
SCENE RED-tinted. We hear loud SQUAWKING from within house as chicken
feathers fly out the open windows.
ZEKE (VO)
(YELLING)
Get away!' Scat! Shoo!
MAUDE-CHICKEN (VO)
(loud SQUAWKING)
CLOSE ANGLE -- WERECHICKEN
Watching from slight hilltop. Its beak seems to bend into an insidious
grin.
ZEKE (VO)
(from distance)
Help!... He-elp!
CUT TO:
EXT. ESTABLISHING -- GHOSTBUSTERS HQ - NIGHT
As CAMERA MOVES IN, we hear:
PETER (VO)
Egon, could you hold off on the weather
balloon bit for a minute?
DISSOLVE THRU TO:
INT. -- LABORATORY -- ON PETER AND RAY
They stand holding big plastic bags of trash, obviously annoyed at the
O.S. Egon. Ray's armful of trash is piled so high that he can't see over
it. SLIMER hovers behind, sticking his nose in one of the bags like a
dog. He finally dives right into it.
PETER (CONT)
It's Your night to take out the trash.
RAY
And Winston's in the kitchen doing your
dishes.
ANGLE ON EGON
He's busy testing his WEATHER BALLOON--a large, pink bubble half the size
of the room. He moves a lever on its remote control unit and the balloon
rises.
EGON
(preoccupied; through above)
Be with you in ...
(checks watch)
...one minute, fifty-three seconds.
ANOTHER ANGLE
Peter and Ray exchange pained glances. Peter awkwardly attempts to pick
up another trash bag while Ray stumbles around, his vision blocked. PAN
WITH THEM as they move toward door when Egon's weather balloon suddenly
lowers INTO FRAME. They bounce into and off of it, which sends the trash
bags flying.
PETER AND RAY
(AD-LIB REACTIONS as they
bounce off balloon)
NEW ANGLE
Peter stumbles backwards and lands butt-first right on one of the bags.
Slimer SQUEALS from within it.
SLIMER (VO)
(big muffled SQUEAL)
Then he comes shooting out the back of the bag, the lower half of his body
flat as a Frisbee.
SLIMER
shakes himself off like a dog, spraying slime all over Peter.
PETER
(pissed; sarcastic)
Thanks, Slimer. I really needed that!
SLIMER
Sorreee!
ANOTHER ANGLE
Ray helps Peter up as the telephone RINGS and RINGS.
RAY
(irritated)
Egon! The phone!
ON EGON
The RINGING phone is right beside him on the workbench.
EGON
(preoccupied with remote
controls)
In a minute, Ray.
ANGLE ON WINSTON
He ENTERS with sleeves rolled up, wiping a plate with a dish towel and
wearing an apron.
WINSTON
(sarcastic)
Nevermind, Egon, wouldn't want you to
strain yourself.
(picks up phone)
Ghostbusters Central.
VOICE OVER PHONE
(excited CHATTER)
WINSTON
Calm down... Where are you?...
(a BEAT as he listens)
We'll be right there.
He hangs up.
WIDER ANGLE
Peter and Ray again have their arms full of trash bags. Even Slimer is
dragging one.
WINSTON
Ready for this one? Some farmer says his
wife was eaten by a giant chicken.
PETER
Hey, even a half-baked false alarm sounds
better than doing Egon's chores.
(he drops trash bags)
Let's roll!
Ray and Slimer also abandon their trash bags and EXIT with Peter and
Winston.
REAR VIEW ON EGON
still oblivious as he works in the suddenly empty room.
EGON
I think I've finally perfected it. Watch
this, guys.
(a BEAT, he looks around
over shoulder)
Guys?
WIPE TO:
EXT. -- COUNTRY ROAD - ESTABLISHING - NIGHT
ECTO-1 roars INTO CAMERA, siren and lights going.
INT. -- ECTO 1 -- MOVING
The Ghostbusters, minus Egon, are wearing their gear. Slimer hovers in
back seat.
RAY
It sure feels strange not having Egon with
us.
PETER
(sarcastic)
Why? Lately even when he's with us, he's
not with us.
ON WINSTON
Driving.
WINSTON
But wouldn't it be somethin' if he sells
that weather balloon idea of his? He'll be
a rich man!
ON PETER
Arms folded, grumpily.
PETER
Good. Then he can hire a maid to do his
share of the chores.
EXT. -- ECTO 1 -- NIGHT
As it speeds OUT OF CAMERA toward distant farmhouse, PAN OVER TO the
apron-wearing Maude-Chicken silhouetted in the moonlight, nesting in a
haystack. MOVE IN TO --
CLOSER ANGLE ON MAUDE-CHICKEN
Her body starts to shake, she ruffles her wings.
MAUDE-CHICKEN
(Egg-laying CLUCKS)
Then she suddenly sits up and leaps off the haystack, revealing an
enormous egg beneath her. Maude SQUAWKS and CLUCKS and struts off into a
cornfield, pecking away at ears of corn.
MAUDE-CHICKEN
(SQUAWKS and CLUCKS)
CUT TO:
INT. -- FARMHOUSE LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT
Ray, Winston and Slimer listen seriously as Zeke speaks, but Peter's
obviously not buying it.
ZEKE
Had big blood-red eyes, it did. Biggest
dang chicken I ever seen. Mebbe six feet
tall.
Peter rolls his eyes.
WINSTON
Shouldn't be hard to find.
RAY
is jotting info on notepad.
RAY
Did it have any distinguishing marks?
ANOTHER ANGLE
PETER
Ray! It's six feet tall!
Peter grabs Ray's arm, starts ushering him to front door.
PETER (CONT)
(over shoulder as he goes)
Thank you, Sir. We'll put out a missing
chicken report right away.
EXT. FARMHOUSE - NIGHT
As the three Ghostbusters and Slimer cross toward Ecto-1 parked in front.
PETER
(as they go)
This one's easy, guys. Old Zeke's been
watchin' too many horror movies and eating
too much greasy popcorn.
CLOSER ANGLE -- MOVING
RAY
No, Peter, I think we're dealing with a
bonafide werechicken here.
CLOSER ANGLE
Peter and Winston stop, look at Ray in disbelief.
WINSTON
A werechicken?
PETER
Get serious, Ray.
RAY
Then explain those!
Ray points at ground. Peter, Winston and Slimer look down.
THEIR POV
Peter is standing with both feet in two enormous chicken footprints.
SMASH CUT TO:
EXT. -- OPEN FIELD -- NIGHT
The three Ghostbusters follow Maude's "chicken" tracks with powerful
flashlights across a field spotted with haystacks. Slimer moves ahead,
nose to ground like a bloodhound.
SLIMER
(SNIFFS as he goes)
ANGLE ON SLIMER
He floats along above the flashlight-illuminated tracks which lead him
right into the haystack. We hear a BONK from within, then:
SLIMER (VO)
Ow!
Slimer backs OUT INTO SHOT rubbing his head. He looks up and his eyes pop
wide.
SLIMER
(amazed GASP!)
LOW ANGLE ON GIANT EGG
The Ghostbusters ENTER SHOT and play their flashlights across the huge egg
sitting atop the haystack.
RAY
(excited)
What'd I tell you, Peter? A werechicken
egg! Gimme a hand, Winston!
WIDER ANGLE
As Ray and Winston ease the egg down off the haystack. Peter holds his
PKE meter up to it.
PETER
Look, if this is a werechicken egg,
CLOSER ANGLE -- METER
Nothing registers on the meter.
PETER (CONT)
...how come there's no PKE reading?
THREESHOT
Ray and Winston still hold giant egg.
RAY
(looking at meter in
Peter's hand)
I dunno... that is strange.
WINSTON
Let's get it back to Headquarters and run
some tests. Then maybe we'll have some
answers.
ON RAY
RAY
Oh no, I'm not leavin'. The werechicken
that laid this has gotta be around here
someplace -- and I'm gonna find it.
ON PETER AND SLIMER
PETER
(throws up his hands with
heavy SIGH)
I'll take it. C'mon, Slimer.
They take egg from Ray and Winston and start back toward Ecto-l.
PETER (CONT)
(shaking his head; as he
goes)
Werechickens.
WERECHICKEN'S POV
Through its RED EYES we see, from a distance, Peter and Slimer carrying
the egg, Ray and Winston moving off in other direction.
WERECHICKEN (VO)
(BREATHING & SLOBBERING)
SMASH CUT TO:
INT. -- GHOSTBUSTERS HQ - LAB - NIGHT
Egon still busy with his balloon as Peter and Slimer carry egg in through
door.
PETER
(through above)
Yo, balloon man, we've got some real work
for you: How about analyzing this?
ANOTHER ANGLE
Egon looks around, reacts to egg.
EGON
Interesting. That's the second biggest egg
I've ever seen.
Peter and Slimer set egg on Egon's desk.
PETER
I don't wanna hear about it, Egon. We've
had a long night in a not-too-fragrant
barnyard, so I'm taking a shower and hitting
the sheets.
Peter EXITS as Slimer ZIPS in close beside Egon, elbows on desk, chin in
hands, eyeing Egon and egg expectantly. Egon pushes glasses up off tip of
nose and blinks at egg, not sure what to do with it. CAMERA MOVES IN on
egg and we --
MATCH-DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. -- FULL MOON IN COUNTRY SKY -- NIGHT
CAMERA PANS DOWN from full moon to reveal the tiny figures of Ray and
Winston approaching an old barn. They stop, shining their flashlights on
closed main door.
WINSTON
(tired)
Ray, it's gettin' pretty late. Maybe there
really isn't any...
RAY
(holds up one hand)
Shh!
CLOSER ANGLE
Ray extends his PKE meter toward barn. It BEEPS incessantly.
RAY
(low voice)
It's in there.
WINSTON
(unclipping his blaster)
Then let's get it!
INT. BARN -- HIGH ANGLE ON MAIN DOOR -- WERECHICKEN'S POV
Through its RED EYES we see the barn door slowly CREAK open, revealing Ray
and Winston peering in.
CLOSER ANGLE -- RAY AND WINSTON
They ENTER cautiously, Ray holding his BEEPING meter out before him. The
barn is dark except for the moonlight slanting through the loft window and
the beams of their flashlights. As the WIND picks up, WOOD CREAKS, HAY
RUSTLES, and a piece of JUNKY machinery turns with a SQUEAL.
WINSTON
(WHISPER)
Man, this place is creepy.
RAY
(WHISPER)
It's in here -- I can feel it.
ANOTHER ANGLE
Suddenly the door SLAMS shut behind them and the FLAP OF BEATING WINGS
SCURRIES through the darkness. Winston JUMPS.
WINSTON
Look out!
Ray shines his flashlight toward the lofts. Its beam catches a couple of
startled pigeons as they fly out the window, pinion feathers WHISTLING.
REACTION SHOT -- RAY AND WINSTON
RAY & WINSTON
(relieved SIGHS)
WERECHICKEN'S POV
RED-TINTED, moving slowly toward Ray and Winston from behind.
WERECHICKEN (VO)
(HEAVY BREATHING)
CLOSE ON RAY AND WINSTON
They stop as PKE meter starts BEEPING. Ray checks the reading.
RAY
(whisper)
Something's close. Very close.
WERECHICKEN'S POV
Closing on Ray and Winston.
WERECHICKEN (VO)
(HEAVY BREATHING)
The guys wheel around.
THEIR POV ON WERECHICKEN
We see only its face. The blood-red eyes stare menacingly, its fanged
beak slightly open and drooling.
WERECHICKEN
(HEAVY RASPY BREATHING)
ZOOM BACK TO --
WIDER ANGLE ON WERECHICKEN
It hops forward into a streak of moonlight. It's three feet tall, its
wings hang out at the sides, and its evil, blood-red eyes stare at CAMERA.
WERECHICKEN (CONT)
(HEAVY PANTING)
RAY (VO)
It is a werechicken!
ANGLE ON RAY and WINSTON
Backing away, blasters leveled.
WINSTON
Man, he is ugly!
ANGLE ON WERECHICKEN
It postures, rooster-like and:
WERECHICKEN
(ROARS angrily)
ON RAY and WINSTON
Still backing up.
RAY
Bad choice of words, Winston.
THE WERECHICKEN suddenly leaps AT CAMERA.
WERECHICKEN
(loud SHRIEKING SQUAWK)
WERECHICKEN'S POV
ZOOM-IN on Winston and Ray. They open fire.
FULL SHOT
The proton streams catch the Werechicken in mid-air as it vaults toward
Ray and Winston, halting its leap and suspending it in a corona of proton
energy.
WERECHICKEN
(SHRIEKS)
A HIDEOUS SPIRIT rises from its writhing body -- shapeless, but with
monstrous glowing eyes and fangs. The spirit lets out a ROAR more
frightening than the Werechicken howl.
SPIRIT
(big ROAR)
CLOSER ANGLE
Ray, still firing his gun, snaps a trap loose from his belt, and tosses it
onto the barn floor. It POPS open.
RAY
Trap out!
ANOTHER ANGLE
Ray and Winston, struggling with the writhing Spirit caught in the
streams, guide the Spirit into the trap.
WINSTON
Hang on! That's it!
RAY
We've almost got him!
CLOSE ON TRAP
The Spirit is sucked into the trap, which SLAMS shut.
WIDER ANGLE -- RAY AND WINSTON
A normal chicken with singed feathers stands where the Werechicken was.
It CLUCKS, starts pecking at the dirt.
CHICKEN
(Normal CLUCKING)
RAY
(looking at chicken)
Well, that takes care of one werechicken.
CLOSER ON THE GUYS
Ray picks up the smoking trap.
RAY (CONT)
Now to find the six-footer that ate Zeke's
wife.
They head for the door. Winston stops.
WINSTON
Ray, I just had a thought...
Ray pauses to look around at Winston.
WINSTON (CONT)
What if that six-foot werechicken is Zeke's
wife?
And off their looks, we --
CUT TO:
INT. -- GHOSTBUSTERS HQ -KITCHEN -- NIGHT
Egon carries the big egg into kitchen, Slimer helping.
EGON
(straining)
Thanks for the help, Slimer, but I don't
have time to examine this egg tonight. I
have to prepare for my weather balloon
demonstration tomorrow morning.
ANOTHER ANGLE
With his elbow, Egon opens refrigerator with and the two of them place the
giant egg inside.
EGON (CONT)
(through above)
But it'll be safe in here.
SLIMER
Yeah.
Egon closes fridge.
SLIMER
(big YAWN)
G'night, Egon.
Slimer floats off.
EGON
Goodnight, Slimer.
WIPE TO:
INT. -- BEDROOM
Slimer is SNORING, hovering above Peter's empty bed.
SLIMER
(SNORING)
CLOSE ON SLIMER
In a BUBBLE above him, we see Slimer's DREAM, various kinds of food
dancing and SINGING the first two bars of Los Lobos' "LA BAMBA" a la the
California Raisins in "I Heard It Through The Grapevine." Still asleep,
Slimer licks his lips hungrily, opens his mouth incredibly wide and
pounces on the entire dream balloon with a teeth-jarring CHOMP! that POPS
the dream bubble so that it EXPLODES inside his mouth, waking him up.
Slimer sits up with a wide-eyed, hungry look, rubbing his tummy.
SLIMER
Fooooood.
He zips o.s.
INT. -- KITCHEN
Dark. Lights go on, then Slimer SKIDS to mid-air stop and whips open
fridge. His eyes pop as he sees the egg.
SLIMER
(licking his lips)
Yummy!
Slimer rolls egg toward edge of shelf, then the full weight of the egg
drives Slimer straight to the floor. The egg bounces on his stomach twice
before he gets a grip on it. Straining his little green brains out, he
floats the egg up into the air and o.s.
SLIMER
(SQUEALS, then GRUNTS)
ANGLE ON OVEN
Slimer shoves egg in the open oven, closes door, turns on the heat, then
moves O.S. The oven interior glows red and the egg starts to quiver.
ON SLIMER
Slimer HUMS as he busily sets table for one: placemat, a plate, utensils,
salt, pepper, ketchup, mustard, mayo, relish, ... a flurry of activity
that all focuses on his personal eating spot.
SLIMER
(HUMMING through above)
ANGLE ON OVEN
Through window we see the egg shake and then begin to crack open.
RESUME ON SLIMER
Hovering at table, still preparing for feast. He puts on a bib, unaware
of oven shaking behind him.
SLIMER
(still HUMMING)
With a loud BANG, the oven practically explodes and the door flies off.
Out pops a BABY WERECHICKEN, SNARLING and CACKLING.
BABY WERECHICKEN
(SNARLING, CACKLING)
ON SLIMER
His eyes bug and his paw drops.
SLIMER
(startled SCREAM)
Slimer barrels up through sink faucet, leaving his bib stuck in the
opening.
INT. -- SHOWER
Peter shampooing his hair.
PETER
(AD LIB SINGING)
Slimer comes shooting out through shower nozzle, hugs Peter tightly around
the neck and scaring the hell out of him.
PETER
(startled YELL; then:)
Slimer! How 'bout some privacy??
SLIMER
(pointing, eyes wide)
Monster! Inna kitchen!
PETER
Monster?
SLIMER
(nods)
Uh-huh! Uh-huh!
(imitates werechicken)
(SNARLING & CACKLING)
INT. -- LAB
Egon works at his table. A now familiar Werechicken shadow appears over
his shoulder and grows up the wall.
CLOSER ANGLE - REAR VIEW ON EGON
Werechicken creeps OUT OF CAMERA, bites Egon on the rear and pulls back
o.s., chicken claws CLATTERING off into distance.
EGON
(looking around)
Ow!
BABY WERECHICKEN (VO)
(CACKLING fading into
distance)
ON EGON
Dazed, he looks down at his feet.
CLOSE ON EGON'S SHOES
Chicken toes pop through the leather, one at a time.
EGON (VO)
(dazed)
What?
CLOSE SHOTS
As Egon's transformation continues: His coveralls RIP apart at the legs,
then midriff, then his arms turn into wings. Finally, a beak sprouts from
his face.
EGON-CHICKEN
(Weird CLUCK)
SMASH CUT TO:
INT. HALL OUTSIDE LAB -- NIGHT
Peter (now dressed and wearing his backpack) runs up to lab door and
flings it open, Slimer right behind him.
INT. LAB
Peter and Slimer look in, not seeing Egon, who is now a six-foot-tall
werechicken, but still wearing his glasses, standing behind door.
PETER
(CALLS)
Egon?
(to Slimer)
Well, Slimer, I don't see anything here
that looks like a monster.
The Egon-Chicken jumps out right in front of Peter and Slimer.
EGON-CHICKEN
(CHICKEN HOWL)
ANOTHER ANGLE
Slimer freaks and rockets right through the nearest wall.
SLIMER
(SQUEALS as he goes)
PETER
Holy cow!!
Peter raises his proton gun.
CLOSE ON EGON-CHICKEN
He flaps his wings wildly, his red eyes bulging, and GROWLS, revealing
impressive fangs.
EGON-CHICKEN
(LOUD GROWL)
END ACT ONE
-----------
ACT TWO
-------
INT. -- GHOSTBUSTERS LAB -- NIGHT
Egon the Werechicken moves toward Peter, fangs bared in attack mode.
EGON-CHICKEN
(SNARLING as he goes)
ON PETER
He steps back into doorway, blaster leveled at Egon-Chicken, and SNAPS on
the power. It HUMS to life.
PETER
(horrified)
What'd you do to Egon, you bird-brain!
RAY (VO)
Peter! Wait!
A hand grabs Peter by the arm fust as the thrower fires, sending the
proton stream off at an angle into ceiling, barely missing the chicken.
PETER
(surprised as he looks
around)
Hey!
INT. CORRIDOR OUTSIDE LAB
as Ray pulls Peter out into corridor, Winston kicks door shut in the
Egon-Chicken's snarling face and quickly locks it. Slimer hovers nearby
looking worried.
EGON-CHICKEN (VO)
(SNARLS)
CLOSE ANGLE
The door SHAKES and SHUDDERS as the unseen Egon-Chicken tries to break
through.
PETER
(irritated; through above)
What's wrong with you guys? That thing ate
Egon!
RAY
Peter, that is Egon! The egg hatched, he
was bitten and now he's a werechicken!
The door behind them is starting to splinter and bulge from the battering
of the Egon-Chicken.
PETER
(looking at door)
You're kidding!
(a BEAT, then)
Come to think of it, there was a certain
resemblance.
Suddenly the battering stops.
WINSTON
(looking toward door)
What happened? He's so quiet all of a
sudden.
ON RAY
Looking toward o.s. window, he reacts.
RAY
It's the moon!
He hurries o.s.
ANOTHER ANGLE
Ray stops at window, looks out. Beyond we see the full moon. Peter,
Winston and Slimer come up behind him.
RAY (CONT)
Tonight's the first --
CLOSE ON MOON
It's beginning to disappear, right to left.
RAY (VO)(CONT)
-- lunar eclipse in ten years!
ON GHOSTBUSTERS AND SLIMER
All looking out window as eclipse continues
PETER
Ray, what's this have to do with Egon being
a chicken?
RAY
(turning to others)
Werechickens only appear during a full
moon, and for the next few minutes, the
moon's not full.
INT. LAB -- ON DOOR
Door opens and Ray pecks in.
RAY
(tentative)
Egon?
ANGLE ON EGON
Seen from the waist up (he's not wearing clothes), looking around,
confused. He sees Ray.
EGON
Ray, what is going on?
WIDER ANGLE
Egon is holding his tattered coveralls in front of his waist, like a
skirt.
EGON (CONT)
And why am I naked?
Suddenly Slimer flies INTO SHOT and gives Egon a big, sloppy kiss.
SLIMER
(as he enters)
Egon!
(KISSING SOUNDS)
ON PETER AND WINSTON
PETER
Sit down, Egon, we have some good news and
some bad news.
EGON
(as he sits)
Bad news first.
WINSTON
You've been turned into a werechicken!
ON EGON
His glasses slip to the end of his nose as his eyes widen. He pushes them
back up.
EGON
A werechicken?
ON RAY
He hurriedly thumbs through the TOBIN SPIRIT GUIDE.
RAY
(flipping through book)
Were-aardvarks ... were-bears werechickens!
(reads)
"The werechicken appears during the full
moon. Anyone it bites will turn into
another werechicken."
(he looks at Egon)
That egg Peter brought in, it hatched and...
ON EGON
He rubs his rear.
EGON
(through above)
I remember the bite clearly. How long will
I stay like this?
ON RAY, WINSTON and PETER
Looking at the Tobin Guide.
RAY
(looking in Tobin's Guide)
According to this, there is an antidote.
But we've gotta move fast -- the eclipse
only lasts three minutes!
INT. FIREHOUSE KITCHEN
Slimer scrambles through the cupboard, grabbing various bottles of stuff,
and hands them to Winston who adds ingredients to mixing bowl and stirs
while Ray reads from Tobin's Guide.
RAY
(reading through above)
"One tablespoon paprika, one clove of
garlic, some parsley for color, cup of
gelatin..."
ANGLE ON WINDOW
Through it we see the eclipsed moon starting to emerge from shadow.
INT. LAB -- ANGLE ON EGON
His pupils look constricted and he's perspiring.
EGON
(weakly)
I don't feel well.
Peter steps INTO SHOT, puts arm around Egon's shoulders.
PETER
(through above)
Take it easy, Egon. You're gonna be fine.
(SHOUTS O.S.; worried)
Hurry it up, guys!
INT. KITCHEN -- ON WINSTON AND RAY
RAY
(reading hurriedly)
"And one tablespoon of chickenbane."
ON SLIMER
He rummages through shelves, then looks down at Ray.
SLIMER
(aghast)
No chickenbane!
ANOTHER ANGLE
Ray and winston exchange panicky looks.
RAY
Then we've gotta go with this! C'mon!
They run OUT with the mixing bowl of liquid. Slimer follows.
INT. LAB -- CLOSE ON EGON'S LEGS
They're once again turning into chicken legs and chicken feet. Toes
popping out like popcorn.
PETER (VO)
(YELLS)
Come on, Ray!!
WIDER ANGLE
As Peter and Egon stare down at the chicken legs and chicken feet.
PETER (CONT)
(YELLS o.s.)
He's changing again!
Ray, Slimer and Winston rush INTO SHOT.
RAY
(breathless)
Quick, Egon, drink this!
Winston hands the bowl of potion to Egon, who gulps it down.
EGON
(swallowing, GULPING
sounds)
As Egon drinks, his arms transform into wings and he drops the bowl,
breaking it.
WINSTON
We're too late!
CLOSER -- EGON
As the transformation and feathers rise up his shoulders. Suddenly,
the transformation stops at the neck. DRAMATIC MUSIC STOPS, too.
ON PETER, RAY, WINSTON AND SLIMER
They stare, wide-eyed. After A BEAT --
PETER
What happened?
WIDER ANGLE
To include Egon, who is once again a six-foot-tall chicken, but with
Egon's own neck and head.
RAY
The potion only partly worked, because of
the missing chickenbane.
PETER
Well, we hafta do something!
EGON
Don't get your feathers ruffled, Peter.
There's a logical solution to every problem.
BABY WERECHICKEN (VO)
(HOWL)
CLOSER ANGLE
Strands of slime stand straight up on the nape of Slimer's "neck" at the
sound -- like a frightened cat -- and he dives into a test tube in a rack
on Egon's workbench.
SLIMER
(SQUEALS as he goes)
ON RAY AND WINSTON
looking around.
WINSTON
What was that?
RAY
The werechicken that bit Egon. It's still
out there somewhere.
ANOTHER ANGLE
PETER
(to others)
Let's stop that thing before it makes
drumsticks out of anyone else!
(to Egon)
Un, no offense, Egon.
The three normal Ghostbusters dash toward door.
SMASH CUT TO:
EXT. -- AERIAL VIEW -- MANHATTAN -- NIGHT
ECTO-2 glides over the city, running lights blinking.
INT. -- ECTO-2 -- MOVING
Peter at the controls. Slimer sits beside him, looking down at the city
through binoculars.
PETER
(into radio mike)
All quiet on the chicken front. How about
down there?
INT. -- ECTO-1 -- MOVING
Winston driving. Ray on the radio.
RAY
Not a peep.
WINSTON
(gives Ray a dirty look)
No pun intended.
EXT. SUPERMARKET - NIGHT
Several people run out front door SCREAMING as ECTO-1 passes.
PEOPLE
(SCREAMING as they exit)
INT. -- ECTO-1 - MOVING
Winston and Ray look back at exiting people.
WINSTON
That's it!
Winston cranks the wheel.
EXT. ECTO-1
As it makes a SCREECHING U-turn.
EXT. -- SUPERMARKET
Ecto-1 SKIDS up, doors open, and Ray and Winston leap out, blasters at the
ready, running toward store entrance.
INT. -- SUPERMARKET
Ray and winston run in and stop inside door beside a panicked BOX BOY who
points o.s.
BOX BOY
(breathless)
It's in there! A big chicken! It's gotta
be ten feet tall!
CLOSER ANGLE
Ray and Winston exchange glances.
WINSTON
Ten feet tall?
BOX BOY
(nods)
Maybe fifteen, I dunno. Big!
(he runs o.s.)
I'm outta here!
RAY
(to Winston)
Let's split up.
They run off in opposite directions, flanking the long aisles.
ON RAY
PAN WITH him as he cautiously moves along, aisle by aisle. At far end of
aisles, Winston can be seen doing the same. The market is thrashed,
spilled groceries everywhere.
ANOTHER ANGLE
As they reach the last aisle. No chicken. Ray joins Winston.
WINSTON
How could we lose a fifteen foot-tall
chicken?
BUTCHER (VO)
(frightened SCREAM)
RAY
We didn't! Come on!
They hurry o.s.
INT. MEAT DEPT. -- ON BUTCHER
He's hiding under his butcher block, trembling. Ray and Winston run INTO
SHOT. The Butcher looks up, eyes wide.
BUTCHER
A giant chicken just came through here --
it was thirty feet tall!
CLOSER ANGLE
WINSTON
Thirty feet tall?
ANOTHER ANGLE
The Butcher is pointing out open door. Beyond is a parking lot with a
trail of crushed cars right down the middle.
BUTCHER (CONT)
Yeah! Look what it did to those cars!
Ray and Winston race out the door.
EXT. INDUSTRIAL DISTRICT - WIDE ON ECTO-2 FLYING -- NIGHT
The little chopper, lights blinking, skims low past three-and four-story
buildings.
PETER (VO)
(into radio)
It's how big? Okay, Ray, I admit you were
right about these Werechickens,...
INT. ECTO-2 -- MOVING
Peter and Slimer, as before.
PETER (CONT)
...but I definitely don't buy them growing
to the size of buildings.
SLIMER
(covers mouth, LAUGHTER FIZZING
through his closed, flapping lips.
"How absurd.")
Suddenly, the head of the Werechicken rears up INTO SHOT right in front of
Ray and Slimer.
SLIMER
(SCREAMS)
WERECHICKEN
(deafening HOWL)
ECTO-2 is buffeted about by the howl as Peter jams the stick forward.
WIDER ON ECTO-2
It makes a steep, banking dive and gets the hell out of there, barely
escaping the big Werechicken's beak that SNAPS shut on thin air just
behind Ecto-2's retreating tail.
INT. -- ECTO-2 -- MOVING
Peter is shaken, but in control. Slimer is trembling like green Jell-O.
PETER
(into mike)
Ray, you were right! The chicken's here,
and he's a walking high-rise!
INT. -- ECTO-1 -- NIGHT -- MOVING
RAY
(into radio)
On our way, Peter.
Winston floors it and he and Ray accelerate forward INTO CAMERA.
INT. BUNKROOM -- GHOSTBUSTERS HQ - MORNING
Egon is "perched" on the window sill, looking pensively out at the city,
still a chicken from the neck down. A BEAT, then:
JANINE (VO)
(big SCREAM)
EGON
(startled CLUCK)
Startled, Egon flutters up off the sill, gravity takes over, and he lands
on his feathered butt.
WIDER ANGLE
Revealing Janine standing frozen in the doorway, eyes wide with disbelief,
hands to her cheeks.
JANINE
Egon! What happened?
EGON
It's a long story, Janine. Can you get my
coat, please? I'm due at the weather board
in forty-five...
(CLUCK)
...minutes.
ON JANINE
She stares at Egon, totally bewildered.
JANINE
But what ...?
(thinks better of asking)
Nevermind.
ANOTHER ANGLE
Janine takes a long yellow raincoat off a door hook and helps him into it.
He's completely covered except for his head and feet.
JANINE
Are you sure you wanna go to a meeting like
-- this?
EGON
Trust me. I'm of sound mind at least.
ANGLE ON EGON
As he struts toward the door, we see his tail protruding through a slit in
the back of coat. He EXITS, CLUCKING.
EGON
(CLUCKING as he goes)
CLOSE JANINE
Staring after him in disbelief.
EXT. MID-TOWN MANHATTAN -- ANGLE ON WERECHICKEN
It walks along stepping on cars, kicking over telephone poles, etc., a la
Godzilla. The streets SHAKE. Panicky pedestrians flee the Werechicken's
giant feet.
CROWD
(panicky WALLA)
INT. -- ECTO-2 -- MOVING
Peter and Slimer are following giant chicken.
PETER
(into radio)
It's heading down 34th toward the Empire
State Building.
EXT. -- THE STREETS -- DAWN
Ecto-1 SPEEDS around a corner, SIREN blaring.
RAY (VO)
Check! We're almost there.
EXT. EMPIRE STATE BLDG. -- DAWN
Sun rises behind the werechicken as it approaches in distance. With each
HOWL, the streets SHAKE.
WERECHICKEN (VO)
(HOWLS)
LOW ANGLE ON ECTO-1
Approaching CAMERA fast, it SCREECHES to a halt. Doors fly open. Ray and
Winston LEAP out, open fire, their proton streams angling upward.
LOW ANGLE POV - WERECHICKEN
Moving toward them down the concrete canyon, flattening street lamps and
power poles. Ecto-2 can be seen flying above and behind it. The proton
streams are up toward it.
INT. ECTO-2
PETER
Take over, Slimer!
SLIMER
Roger!
Slimer grabs the control stick in both hands as Peter leans out to one
side with his blaster and fires downward.
ANGLE ON WERECHICKEN
Caught in the three crossing streams. It FLAILS about, knocking over
street lights and bashing in the sides of buildings, and lets out a
deafening HOWL. A MONSTROUS SPIRIT emerges from its body and fills the
screen like a transparent film.
WERECHICKEN
(enraged HOWLS)
ON RAY AND WINSTON
Ray tosses out the trap.
RAY
Let's reel him in!
WIDER ANGLE
As Ray, Winston and Peter's beams draw the Spirit toward the trap.
SPIRIT
(angry HOWLS)
CLOSER ON TRAP
Ray's boot stomps on trigger and trap springs open. As the Spirit comes
into contact with the trap a small STORM ERUPTS around it. SPARKS and
LIGHTNING BOLTS fly. A HURRICANE-like WIND BLOWS.
ON RAY AND WINSTON
Being buffeted by wind, struggling to hang onto their throwers as they
continue firing. They have to SHOUT over the NOISE.
WINSTON
(loud)
Trap's full! Somebody forgot to empty it!
ON ECTO-2
The wind is really bouncing it around. Slimer has his hands full, while
Peter continues shooting.
RAY
(YELLS)
Whose job was it?
RAY AND WINSTON
turn to each other.
RAY AND WINSTON
EGON'S!
CLOSE ON TRAP
Light FLASHES rapidly. Trap begins to shake and glow.
RAY (VO)
It's gonna blow!
LOW ANGLE -- ECTO-2
WINSTON (VO)
(over walkie-talkie)
Peter, get outa here!
It banks, gets the hell away.
RAY AND WINSTON
turn off their proton guns and are KNOCKED down by the released force as
the freed Monstrous Spirit whooshes skyward. The STORM abruptly
disappears, as if SUCKED up. The trap stops shaking and SNAPS shut.
ANGLE ON WERECHICKEN
As the Spirit POPS back into its body, JARRING it. Its chicken face
contorts with new ANGER.
WERECHICKEN
(HOWLS)
WIDER ANGLE
It turns and starts up the side of the Empire State Building.
EXT. EMPIRE STATE BUILDING - MORNING
The werechicken is halfway to the top. PULL BACK to reveal Peter, Slimer,
Winston and Ray standing in street looking up at him. Ecto-1 and 2 are
behind them.
PETER
So how're we gonna, put that big bird on
ice, guys'
RAY
(SNAPS finger)
Peter, that's not a bed idea! Chicken
freezes at very low temperatures!
CLOSER ANGLE
WINSTON
Yeah, but how do you freeze a 50-foot
chicken in August?
A BEAT, then the three guys look at each other.
RAY, WINSTON & PETER
Egon's weather balloon!
EXT. -- BUILDING ROOFTOP -- MORNING
Not far from the Empire State Building. Egon stands before a group of
seated MEN and WOMEN --THE WEATHER BOARD -- in his rain coat. To one
side, the weather balloon hovers above them.
EGON
Distinguished members of the Weather Board,
my weather balloon has the clu-cluck-clu-
capability --
ANGLE ON EGON
The top of the Empire State Building is visible behind him as he holds the
small weather device control box in one winged hand.
EGON (CONT)
... of entering the upper atmosphere where
clu-cluck-clu cloud formations occur.
ANGLE ON BOARD MEMBERS
They look at each other, puzzled.
BOARD
(puzzled MUTTERING WALLA)
RESUME ON EGON
EGON (VO)(CONT)
There, it can electronically alter weather
cut-cut-cut-con-ditions to produce sun,
rain, or...
(BAWK!)
...snow.
Ecto-2 ascends into view behind him and hovers, the chopper's rotors
blowing Egon's raincoat up over his head, exposing the chicken body
underneath.
ANGLE ON AUDIENCE
Their mouths drop open as they stare at Egon's chicken body.
BOARD MEMBERS
(excited WALLA)
ANGLE ON EGON
He pulls raincoat down off his face, holding it in place with one hand as
he looks at audience with forced smile.
EGON
(to Board members)
I, er, can explain this, but --
Slimer flies INTO SHOT beside Egon and WHISPERS in his ear.
SLIMER
(WHISPERING MUTTERS)
EGON
What?
He looks around to where Slimer is pointing.
EGON'S POV
As the Werechicken climbs into view, scaling the upper stories of the
Empire State Building.
WERECHICKEN
(distant SQUAWKS)
NEW ANGLE
The Weather Board members see the Werechicken and start to SCREAM.
WEATHER BOARD MEMBERS
(SCREAMING)
ON EGON
He JUMPS onto a rope ladder hanging from Ecto-2 and climbs inside. Slimer
flies in right behind him and Ecto-2 rises up OUT OF SHOT.
INT. -- ECTO-2 -- MOVING
Egon settles into passenger seat. Slimer hovers behind them.
PETER
(loud over engine)
Egon, can we freeze that big chicken with
your weather balloons
EGON
(holds up wings)
Yes, but you'll have to work the controls.
PETER
(nods)
Piece of cake.
EXT. -- ECTO-2 -- MORNING
It banks off toward the Empire State Building as the Werechicken reaches
the top of the spire.
ON WERECHICKEN
As it gets "comfortable" on the spire, fluffing its feathers. It begins
to quiver (like Maude did earlier when she laid an egg).
WERECHICKEN
(hideous CROW)
ON RAY AND WINSTON
On street below, looking skyward through binoculars.
WINSTON
What's it doing?
RAY
It looks like it's about to lay an --
Winston puts a hand over Ray's mouth.
WINSTON
(with dread)
I don't want to hear it.
ANGLE ON WEATHER BALLOON
It rises from weather bureau rooftop, then drifts along horizontally, away
from the Empire State Building. It stops, then begins to rise again. The
sky darkens as the balloon rises into the clouds.
INT. ECTO-2 - MOVING
Peter, Egon, Slimer, as before. Peter operates the weather balloon
control box while Slimer flies the chopper.
EGON
Okay, Peter, the balloon's in position.
Turn the lever to the extreme left.
CLOSE UP ON WEATHER CONTROL BOX
Peter turns a lever.
ANGLE ON BALLOON
The balloon and surrounding clouds start to freeze, turning white and
forming ice on them. Suddenly, snow starts to fall.
ON SLIMER
He sticks his tongue out and catches some snowflakes.
ANGLE ON WERECHICKEN
Blizzard-like snow pelts it. The chicken begins to stiffen and turn white
with frost.
WERECHICKEN
(angry SQUAWKS)
ANGLE ON STREETS
Snow falls on Ray and Winston as they gaze skyward.
RAY AND WINSTON
They did it! All-right!!
They high-five each other.
WIPE TO:
EXT. FIREHOUSE -- NIGHT
A heavy snow continues to fall as CAMERA MOVES IN
MAUDE (VO)
(calls)
Anyone for dessert?
INT, FIREHOUSE - DINING AREA
Maude (back to normal) emerges from kitchen carrying a large, steaming
bowl. Seated around the table are Egon (back to normal) Peter, Winston,
Ray and Zeke. No Slimer. There are half-empty soup bowls in front of
everyone and the diners all look full to the point of weariness -- except
Slimer.
EGON
(raising hand)
You bet, Maude.
ON PETER
As he looks at bowl of soup Maude sets down.
PETER
Lemme guess -- more chickenbane soup!
ON EGON
spooning soup eagerly into his bowl.
EGON
I'm actually starting to like it.
ON MAUDE
MAUDE
No more werechicken problems for us,
eh, Egon?
(CHUCKLES)
WERECHICKEN (VO)
(HOWL)
WIDER ANGLE
Everyone freezes and looks o.s.
WINSTON
Uh-oh.
RAY
It came from the lab!
The Ghostbusters burst from their chairs and run o.s.
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE LAB
As the Ghostbusters cautiously advance, blasters ready.
INT. LAB -- ON DOOR
It opens and the Ghostbusters peer in. Suddenly ...
WERECHICKEN (VO)
(another HOWL)
SWISH PAN to ...
A HUGE SHADOW on the lab wall, its head making a "pecking" motion like a
werechicken. After a beat, PAN DOWN to reveal Slimer with a Walkman on
his head, "pecking" his head to the rhythm of his music. Slimer HOWLS
again ...
SLIMER
(HOWLS)
ON GHOSTBUSTERS
WINSTON
(big SIGH)
It's just Slimer groovin' to his new James
Brown tape.
ON SLIMER
As he continues to groove to the music.
SLIMER
(a la James Brown)
I feel good!
I knew that I would
So good, so good, so good!
(big James Brown HOWL as
we --)
(HOWLS)
ON GHOSTBUSTERS
Peter turns to the others in disgust.
PETER
(long-suffering)
Tell me, how do I get out of this chicken
outfit?
FADE OUT
THE END
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