"Next Friday" -- by Ice Cube
EXT. FRONT LAWN - OVERHEAD SHOT - NIGHT
DEBO is laid out on the grass.
CRAIG (V.O.)
In the movies, when you beat up the
neighborhood bully; you suppose to live
happily ever after. But around here;
that's when all the drama begins...
Blue and red police lights flash over Debo's body. Two
sheriffs walk INTO OUR FRAME and stand over Debo. They flash
their lights on him.
CRAIG (cont'd) (V.O.)
Last Friday; I got fired for the first
time. I got high for the first time. I
got shot at for the first time and I
kicked Debo's ass for the first time...
They get him to his feet; but he stumbles and falls in the
bushes like a knocked out prize fighter. The sheriffs laugh
at him.
Debo looks dazed and confused. The sheriffs help him out the
bushes and start to cuff him.
CRAIG (cont'd) (V.O.)
I was the man that night; and Debo ended
up going to jail for a couple of years.
But he told Ezal he was getting out next
Friday. He said, when he see me, he was
gonna smoke me on the spot...
They walk him OUT OF FRAME...
FADE TO BLACK.
OVER BLACK:
CRAIG (cont'd) (V.O.)
And today is next Friday...
SOUNDTRACK!
"New Line Cinema presents, etc., etc...
FADE IN:
EXT. LOS ANGELES - EARLY MORNING
OPENING CREDITS. It's early Friday morning and the sun peeks
over the LA skyline. As the city starts to awake and the
credits continue to roll;
we see SEVERAL SHOTS of the real people who make up Los
Angeles. It seems that they all move to the same beat.
EXT. L.A. COUNTY JAIL - CONTINUOUS
Debo is released from the Twin Towers County Jail. Still in
his orange jumpsuit, he walks right past us and down the
street. Everybody clears his path.
SOUNDTRACK still PUMPIN'.
Debo crosses the street passing an old man dancing and
directing traffic. Debo stops, the man starts to dance in
front of him. He stares for a second, then he's on his way.
Still walking tall and hard, he trips over a crack in the
sidewalk (losing cool points).
Three little black girls in plaid uniforms practice the
latest dance steps on their way to school. Debo is walking
towards them. They scream and take off in the other
direction. He smiles. Briefly.
Still walking; he stops at a corner. A SA boy waits to cross
with his low-rider bike. A Metrolink train passes. After it
goes by; we see Debo riding off on the boy's bike. He's on
the ground holding his eye.
Debo continues to ride through the city.
He turns a corner or two and comes to a stop at Craig's
house.
EXT. JONES' HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Mr. Jones' dog catcher's truck sits in front of the house.
A CHIHUAHUA (like the Taco Bell dog) takes a dump on the
lawn. It starts to BARK at Debo. He looks down at the dog
and kicks him in the street. The DOG YIPES!
Debo focuses his attention on Craig's house.
INT. JONES' HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
The hallway is clear and quiet, until MR. JONES (Craig's
father), storms out of the bedroom. He struggles to put on
his dog catcher's uniform. He stops at the bathroom door and
knocks hard.
MR. JONES
Craig! Craig! Off yo' ass and on yo'
feet; this ain't the time to beat your
meat!
Mr. Jones laughs at himself.
CRAIG (O.S.)
I'll be out in about 35-40 minutes!
MR. JONES
Hurry up; today is Fri-day! And we gotta
hit the high-way!
Mr. Jones continues on his way; dancing to the beat.
INT. BATHROOM - CLOSE-UP ON HIGH TIMES MAGAZINE - CONTINUOUS
Hands crack open a $20 sack of bud onto the magazine. A pack
of Zigzags fall INTO FRAME. Papers are ripped from the
package.
CLOSE UP ON CRAIG JONES
the doctor of this delicate operation.
CRAIG (V.O.)
Soon as my pops found out what Debo said
to Ezal, he wanted me to move with my
uncle and little cousin in Rancho
Cucamonga. Til' things calm down, or
Debo went back to prison. Whichever
comes first.
He's sitting on the toilet (dressed: not using it) putting
the finishing touches on his masterpiece. He licks, rolls
and slides the 'J into the fifth pocket on his Levi jeans.
CRAIG (cont'd) (V.O.)
I feel like the biggest punk around here.
I wiped Debo's ass. He should be the one
moving.
He exits.
EXT. JONES' HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
The front door opens. Mr. Jones walks out the door, yelling
back into the house.
MR. JONES
Craig! Let's go! I don't wanna hit that
traffic.
He steps off the porch backwards and into "fresh Chihuahua
shit." He slips and falls on the grass.
MR. JONES (cont'd)
I be got damn.
Mr. Jones gets up. He brushes the grass off his uniform. He
looks clean, but when he turns around dog shit is smashed all
over his back and butt.
MR. JONES (cont'd)
Craig! Craig!
Craig emerges from the house with his bags in hand.
CRAIG
(irritated)
Here I come!
MR. JONES
(still mad)
Well bring yo' ass on...
Craig slams the door and starts towards the truck.
CRAIG
What's the matter?
MR. JONES
I fell in some mud. Now hurry up!
Mr. Jones gets in the truck. Craig jumps in. They back out
and pull off.
INT. DOG TRUCK - MOVING - CLOSE-UP ON CRAIG - CONTINUOUS
He's daydreaming about Smokey.
CRAIG (V.O.)
I didn't wanna leave my neighborhood at
all. Especially my homeboy Smokey. But
he went to rehab last week. I know I'mma
miss him...
Out of nowhere, Debo jumps in front of the truck. Mr. Jones
slams on the BRAKES.
DEBO
Craig! Get out the car, boy! This the
rematch!
Debo reaches for his shank. Craig turns to Mr. Jones!
CRAIG
Daddy, punch it!
Mr. Jones floors it and hits Debo. He falls over the hood,
off the car and in the street. The yellow truck speeds off.
Debo jumps up staggering with scrapes and bruises.
DEBO
You know I'mma find you! You can run ya'
can't hide!
BACK IN CAR - CONTINUOUS
Craig screams out the window.
CRAIG
You fake ass Suge Knight!
Mr. Jones is a bit shaken up.
MR. JONES
That nigga worst than them damn pit
bulldogs or something! That's why moving
wit'cha Uncle Elroy and Cousin Day-Day is
the best thing for you right now.
CRAIG
(with attitude)
Ya'll making me look like a punk.
MR. JONES
It ain't about being a punk, son. It's
about this...
Craig smells something in the air.
MR. JONES (cont'd)
My great, great grand daddy on my Momma
side; had a saying... 'See a fool --
leave a fool.' Somebody else a get him.
Plus, I don't want that fool shooting at
my house trying to hit yo' ass.
CRAIG
What's that smell?
Mr. Jones sniffs.
MR. JONES
Must be your upper lip, 'cause I don't
smell nothing.
CRAIG
(holding his nose)
I do.
MR. JONES
What it smell like?
CRAIG
Smells like you didn't fall in no mud.
Mr. Jones grabs the air freshener from under the seat. He
starts to spray too much. Craig's window won't roll down.
CRAIG (cont'd)
What's wrong with the window?
MR. JONES
I gotta get'em fixed. They don't roll
down.
CRAIG
All damn.
MR. JONES
Just hold your breath.
EXT. CITY OF RANCHO CUCAMONGA - MORNING
They exit the freeway and pass a sign that reads, "Rancho
Cucamonga" (the city away from the city).
EXT. UNCLE ELROY'S STREET - CONTINUOUS
Welcome to the suburbs. Where the "Smiley Happy People" live
in peace and quiet.
The neighborhood is full of green lawns and nice two story
track homes as far as the eye can see. The yellow truck
drives through the streets and pulls up to a cul-de-sac. Mr.
Jones BLOWS the HORN.
MR. JONES
Nice neighborhood, huh?
CRAIG
It's alright.
MR. JONES
18-years of chasing dogs; and my lazy ass
brother hits the lotto his first time
playing. I still can't figure that one
out.
CRAIG
Why they got to have the loudest house on
the block!
Uncle Elroy's house is royal blue with gold trim. All the
other houses are painted in earth tones.
MR. JONES
Ah, son, don't be no hater. You know
your uncle ain't got no taste. Just
don't let him rub off on you.
Craig grabs his bags.
CRAIG
You coming in?
MR. JONES
No, I'mma go on to work. I don't wanna
hear Elroy's mouth. Now listen to me,
Craig. It's gonna be different living
over here. Don't let your uncle and your
cousin get you into no shit. Understand?
CRAIG
Hey, Pops, I'm grown. Can't nobody get
me in trouble no more.
As craig gets out; the front door flies open. It's DAY-DAY
(22), Craig's crazy younger cousin. He yells back into the
house.
DAY-DAY
Daddy, Craig is here.
Day-Day walks out to the car and gives Craig a pound.
CRAIG
What's crackin'?
DAY-DAY
You. Hi, Uncle Willie.
MR. JONES
Hey, Day-Day. Where's yo' big head
father?
DAY-DAY
There he is.
Just then, UNCLE ELROY (42) hits the door. Dressed in boxers
and a T-shirt. This is Mr. Jones' (very loud) little
brother.
UNCLE ELROY
Hey, Debo, heard you running from a ass-
whippin'?
CRAIG
Naw, it ain't like that.
UNCLE ELROY
If you see that boy again, bite off his
ear off like Mike Tyson.
CRAIG
Alright, I'll remember that.
UNCLE ELROY
You know me? I would've shot his big
ass.
(peeking into the ear)
Hey, Willie, how's it going? Still
steppin' in dog shit every day?
Uncle Elroy laughs. Mr. Jones isn't amused.
MR. JONES
Make sure you look after my son out here.
Don't get him involved with none of your
bullshit, Roy.
UNCLE ELROY
Don't worry 'bout nothin', big bro. He
in the best fuckin' hands in Rancho
Chocomunga, baby! This my world, you
just a nigga late paying rent. Ain't
that right, nephew?
Uncle Elroy hugs Craig by the arm.
MR. JONES
Craig, remember what I told you.
CRAIG
I'll remember.
Mr. Jones pulls off. Uncle Elroy yells out to him.
UNCLE ELROY
Send Betty my love.
(to Craig)
Boy you looking good.
(grabbing his bags)
I'mma take these in the house for you,
man... and when you finish with this cat,
come inside. I got something to show
you.
CRAIG
Thanks, Unc.
Uncle Elroy starts towards to the house.
DAY-DAY
You know it's been over a year since we
kicked it last? Up at the family
reunion.
CRAIG
I know, that's when Uncle Elroy cussed
out everybody, and threw up in Aunt
Faye's backseat.
Day-Day laughs.
DAY-DAY
Yep. I forgot about him cussin' out
everybody. Damn that was fun.
CRAIG
I know, we had a good time. But ever
since you guys moved out here, it seems
like we've lost touch.
DAY-DAY
I know; this a long way from Watts. But
what I like about living out here is that
you don't hear no helicopters, no sirens,
no drive-by's, no nothing. Just peace
and quiet. Listen.
They do. It is quiet, except for a few BIRDS SINGING.
DAY-DAY (cont'd)
Shit sound good, huh?
Just then, a maroon Cadillac low-rider on Daytons rolls up
the block. It's the Jokers: JOKER (28), LI'L JOKER (21) and
BABY JOKER (15). They pull into their driveway.
DAY-DAY (cont'd)
Aw damn.
In SLOW MOTION: One by one they get out the car. They have a
dog with them named "Cheeco." As they get to the front door
they all look over at Craig and Day-Day.
Day-Day looks away, while Craig keeps his eye on them. They
disappear inside.
CRAIG
Who is that?
DAY-DAY
Joker, he just got out of the pen. Li'l
Joker, he just got out of Youth
Authority. And Baby Joker, he just got
out of Juvenile Hall.
CRAIG
They ever let you hit the switches on
that Cadillac?
DAY-DAY
Naw, them dudes is assholes. Especially
that dog - Cheeco. Watch this little
ass, he's sneaky. Plus, I got something
better than a Cadillac.
They walk over to his black BMW 325i on chrome rims.
CRAIG
This you?
DAY-DAY
(proud)
Yeah, that's me. Just a little somethin'
somethin' I picked up.
CRAIG
Must be nice. I wish we won the lottery.
Come up on a million dollars like ya'll.
DAY-DAY
Man, after taxes, lawyer fees, and paying
off my daddy's bad credit, we didn't end
up with a million. We bought this house
and I spent the rest on this. It's the
bomb, huh?
CRAIG
This my baby. I feel like a new nigga in
this car. I get mo' phone numbers
rollin' this, than I ever did on the bus.
MISS HO KYM (O.S.)
Hi, Day-Day!
They turn to spot MISS HO KYM (67), the old Korean lady who
lives next door. She's sitting on her porch nursing a cup of
coffee.
DAY-DAY
(speaking louder and slower)
Hi, Mulan.
MISS HO KYM
Fuck you, Day-Day. Who's ya boy?
DAY-DAY
This my cousin, Craig. He just moved out
here from L.A. Craig, this is Miss Ho.
Day-Day smiles at Craig.
MISS HO KYM
My name is Miss Ho Kym. Day-Day just
trying to be a smart ass. Nice to meet
you, Craig. Are you 'bout it, 'bout it?
CRAIG
Excuse me?
MISS HO KYM
I said...are you 'bout it, 'bout it --
rowdy, rowdy?
Craig can't believe his ears.
CRAIG
Yeah, I'm 'bout it.
MISS HO KYM
Well, then, it's all good. Yo, Day-Day,
something is going down with those
Mexicans across the street? I've been
seeing a lot of activity.
They all look over at the Joker's house.
CRAIG
What kind of activity?
MISS HO KYM
Strange activity. I think they running
drugs off Tijuana. Day-Day don't believe
me.
DAY-DAY
How do you know for sure?
MISS HO KYM
I know everything, playboy. Don't hate,
congratulate.
DAY-DAY
I don't have time, Miss Ho, I'll see you
later.
Day-Day and Craig start to walk back to the house.
MISS HO KYM
See you later, Day-Day. Come by after
work, I got the John Blaze shit for you.
CRAIG
Nice to meet you?
MISS HO KYM
Peace out, Craig.
INT. UNCLE ELROY'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Day-Day and Craig enter the house. They still have the
furniture from the projects. Craig looks around. He spots
at a few hanging pictures.
CRAIG
Man, this a cool house.
DAY-DAY
(picking up a picture)
Thanks, I just wish my mother had a
chance to see it.
Mother's picture: she looks like Day-Day with a wig on.
She's smiling and holding the winning lotto ticket.
DAY-DAY (cont'd)
But when she found out we won the money,
she had a heart attack. You know the
story.
CRAIG
Yeah.
A sad moment.
DAY-DAY
Go on and make yourself at home. I'mma
go get dressed for work.
CRAIG
Oh, yeah, where you work at?
DAY-DAY
Pinky's Records and Disc in the shopping
center. I'mma talk to my boss and see if
he got a little position for you. 'Cause
you been unemployed for a long time now,
Craig.
CRAIG
Thanks for reminding me.
Day-Day exits. Craig is left to look around, until something
outside catches his eye.
EXT. HOUSE
It's D'WANA (20), Day-Day's six-month pregnant girlfriend.
She's walking on the right side of his BMW. With one hand
she waves at Craig...with the other hand she's keying Day-
Day's car with the skills of a retarded first-grader.
INT. HOUSE
Craig waves back, but something ain't right. Uncle Elroy
steps in with SUGA (39), his nymphomaniac girlfriend. She's
wearing a sexy nightie that's a size too small.
UNCLE ELROY
Craig, I want you to meet my old lady,
Suga. Suga, this is Craig.
SUGA
Oooh, ba-by!
She gives Craig a big, juicy hug and kiss, grabbing his ass
in the process.
SUGA (cont'd)
(hugging and grabbing)
You even cuter than your baby pictures.
CRAIG
Thank you.
SUGA
(whispering in Craig's ear)
You know, I'mma be your new auntie. We
can keep it all in the family if you want
to.
Uncle Elroy un-hugs them.
UNCLE ELROY
Okay, okay, that's enough. Go put on
some damn clothes.
SUGA
(pouting)
Elroy.
UNCLE ELROY
Suga. Go ahead and get us something to
smoke on.
SUGA
Okay.
(winking)
Bye, Craig.
CRAIG
Nice to meet you.
Suga walks out.
UNCLE ELROY
Man, that girl's gonna kill me one day.
Viagra ain't working. My back keep going
out... she don't never get enough. But
check this out. I got to lay some ground
rules.
(gets closer to Craig)
Your my family and I love you. You're
welcome to anything you want in my home.
But I don't wanna catch you in the
refrigerator or in my Suga bowl... you
feel me knocking?
CRAIG
Yeah.
UNCLE ELROY
Well, let me in.
CRAIG
Uncle Elroy, who's that girl by Day-Day's
car?
He looks.
UNCLE ELROY
Oh, that's D'Wana. His ex.
(yelling upstairs)
Day-Day, the crazy bitch is back!
Day-Day runs down the stairs to get a look. He's holding a
piece of paper.
DAY-DAY
Aw, naw.
He runs out the door.
EXT. HOUSE
D'Wana continues her job. Day-Day storms over, waving the
paper.
DAY-DAY
Girl, you supposed to be 1000 feet from
my house. What you doing over here?
D'WANA
What it look like I'm doing? You can't
quit me, I'm pregnant!
DAY-DAY
That ain't my baby!
Day-Day spots the damage. He loses it.
DAY-DAY (cont'd)
(in disbelief)
Oh, my God! What you doing?!
Now he's a madman.
DAY-DAY (cont'd)
Bitch! You keyed my car! I'mma kill
you!
Day-Day charges D'Wana. She has her pepper spray ready.
D'WANA
I got your bitch right here.
D'Wana sprays his face orange. He stops in his tracks; grabs
his eyes and screams like a woman.
DAY-DAY
Awwwww....
(staggering)
Awwwww....
D'WANA
I expect you to return all phone calls
and take me to lunch today. I'll be back
out here on my break. Nobody quits me.
D'Wana runs to her car. She speeds off. Uncle Elroy goes
for the water hose. Craig grabs Day-Day.
DAY-DAY
I can't see! I can't see! Daddy!
CRAIG
Lay down, Day-Day. Stop moving.
Craig puts him on the grass.
DAY-DAY
She pepper-sprayed me, man! She pepper-
sprayed me!
CRAIG
I know, be still.
Before he can say another word, Uncle Elroy nearly drowns him
with the water hose.
UNCLE ELROY
Boy, you got you a little fatal
attraction, huh? I had two or three of
them in my day.
Day-Day is drowning.
UNCLE ELROY (cont'd)
Craig, I hope you know how to deal with
women better than this fool.
Craig moves the hose.
CRAIG
That's too much water.
Now Day-Day is blind and choking.
UNCLE ELROY
Help him to his feet. Let's get him to
the bathroom.
They get him up and into the house.
INT. BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS
They rush Day-Day into the shower.
DAY-DAY
(confused)
Hold on. What you doing?
Uncle Elroy turns on the cold water. Day-Day screams. He
tries to get out. They push him back in.
UNCLE ELROY
Wet your eyes, boy. Stay in there for
about 20 minutes.
DAY-DAY
20 minutes?
UNCLE ELROY
Yeah, 20 minutes. Trust me. I've been
pepper sprayed nine times. 20 minutes.
Uncle Elroy slams the door. Day-Day stands in the shower
fully dressed and soaking wet.
UNCLE ELROY (cont'd)
Let me show you my back yard. You know
it's bigger than y'all back yard.
They exit, leaving Day-Day in the shower.
EXT. ELROY'S BACK YARD - CONTINUOUS
Uncle Elroy and Craig start to walk around the back yard. In
the B.G., we NOTICE giant weed plants everywhere.
UNCLE ELROY
Yeah, you gotta have a little money to
live out here, Craig. I never thought
I'd be the kinda nigga to move to the
suburbs. But as soon as I got my check,
I was gone. Paid 230 thousand dollars
cash on this house.
CRAIG
You paid cash?
UNCLE ELROY
Cash money. They wasn't gonna stick me
with no 30-year payment plan. That's for
suckas. They got my daddy like that for
a Cadillac years ago. I got the only
house on the block that's paid for.
That's why I'm the king around here.
They walk over to the pool.
UNCLE ELROY (cont'd)
You like that pool?
It's half-full with dirty water. An upside-down lawn chair
floats in it.
CRAIG
It's cool, but where's the water?
UNCLE ELROY
Don't need water. We didn't have no pool
in the projects...so none of us swim.
CRAIG
Y'all never use it?
UNCLE ELROY
Never...
(humping the air)
But me and Suga can get real nasty in
that Jacuzzi, though.
The Jacuzzi water has a purple condom floating in it. Uncle
Elroy reaches over and picks it out.
UNCLE ELROY (cont'd)
(shaking the water off the
condom)
You welcome get in it anytime you want
to. Shit, you my brother's son.
CRAIG
That's okay, Unc. I can't swim, either.
UNCLE ELROY
Good.
EXT. CRACK HOUSE - MORNING
A run-down crack house sits alone in the middle of the block.
It looks deserted with chipped paint, overgrown grass and
security bars everywhere. Inside we can hear a FIGHT in
progress.
CRACK DEALER (O.S.)
Ezal, I'm sick of you coming around here
wit no money.
Suddenly the door flies open and Ezal comes flying out on his
ass.
EZAL
I be damned.
He gets up and brushes himself off. He heads back into the
crack house.
EZAL (cont'd)
Now look here, man. I'mma preferred
customer and I can take my credit card
somewhere else.
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! Ezal is roughed up some more and
flies through the picture window. GLASS rains down.
EZAL (cont'd)
Oh, my neck, oh, my back. Man, I quit!
I'm retired! Officially! Life shouldn't
be this hard for a crackhead!
Ezal lays there in pain. Out of nowhere, a bicycle comes
INTO FRAME. Ezal looks up at the rider. It's Debo.
DEBO
Where did Craig move to?
EZAL
I don't know, Debo.
Debo rolls on top of him with the front tire. Ezal is
smashed and in more pain.
DEBO
What you say?
EZAL
(hurting)
He moved out to Rancho Cucamonga with his
cousin Day-Day.
DEBO
Rancho Cucamonga?
EZAL
Yeah.
Debo thinks about it.
EZAL (cont'd)
I can't breathe.
He rolls off of Ezal. Relief.
DEBO
Get on.
EZAL
Man, we can't ride to Rancho Cucamonga on
that.
DEBO
Get on!
Ezal hops on the handlebars quick. They start to ride off.
EZAL
Just don't go over the curb.
Debo rides over the curb and into the street. The journey
begins.
EZAL (cont'd)
Watch my balls!
INT. DAY-DAY'S ROOM - MORNING
Day-Day's room is junky. Clothes are everywhere. He's
putting on his Pinky's Records and Disc T-shirt. Craig comes
in.
CRAIG
You straight?
DAY-DAY
Yeah, I'm alright. Is my face still
orange to you?
Day-Day's face looks sunburned.
CRAIG
Just a little.
DAY-DAY
I can't taste nothing.
CRAIG
What's the matter with your girlfriend?
DAY-DAY
Man, it's a long story. I met D'Wana
three months ago. She had a little pudge
in her stomach but I didn't pay it no
attention. Come to find out, she six
months pregnant. Saying I'm the daddy!
CRAIG
What?
DAY-DAY
Yeah, I broke up with her two Fridays ago
and she's been harassing me ever since.
She don't care about the restraining
order or nothing.
CRAIG
Restraining order? Where the hell you
meet this girl?
DAY-DAY
I went back to Watts to sell my old car
and met her on the way. Worst day of my
life.
CRAIG
Damn, you got a stalker.
DAY-DAY
That ain't the worst part. Her little
sister, Baby D. She's the one that gets
real physical. But I got a restraining
order on her, too.
CRAIG
You got a restraining order on a little
girl named Baby D?
DAY-DAY
(very serious)
You don't know Baby D.
He looks at his watch.
DAY-DAY (cont'd)
I gotta get to Pinky's before I get fired
like you.
Day-Day exits. Craig is close behind.
EXT. UNCLE ELROY'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
As they walk out the front door, someone catches Craig's eye.
It's KARLA (23), the Joker brothers' fine sister. She's
leaning against the lowrider, looking into her purse. She
waves at them.
KARLA
(friendly)
Hi!
Craig and Day-Day are mesmerized.
BOTH
(waving back)
HEY!
Craig and Karla's eyes meet. She smiles.
CRAIG
Who is that?
DAY-DAY
That's the sister.
CRAIG
Yo know what? I'm starting to like
Rancho Cucamonga.
DAY-DAY
I know what 'cha thinking. I thought the
same thing. But it can't happen.
CRAIG
Why?
DAY-DAY
Because, it's been a little tension
between us ever since they got out the
joint and ran their momma crazy. And I'm
just trying to keep the peace. We moved
out here to get away from that shit.
Day-Day walks over to his Beamer. Craig follows.
CLOSE-UP
Big scratch on the side of Day-Day's car.
WIDER
DAY-DAY (cont'd)
It ain't that bad, is it?
Craig is still looking at Karla.
DAY-DAY (cont'd)
Craig! It ain't that bad, is it?
CRAIG
Yeah, it's bad. And that scratch make it
ugly.
Day-Day is starting to get mad.
CRAIG (cont'd)
It's long and crooked...make you not
wanna even drive it.
DAY-DAY
Alright, alright... I see what you
talking about.
Karla looks at her watch and starts to walk up the street.
This is Craig's chance.
CRAIG
Hold up, Day-Day.
He trots after her.
DAY-DAY
Let it go.
Karla is still walking.
CRAIG
Hey! Hey!
She stops and waits for him.
CRAIG (cont'd)
I'm Day-Day's cousin, Craig. What's your
name?
KARLA
Karla.
CRAIG
Craig and Karla, damn that sound pretty
good together. Where you going?
KARLA
To the Cucamonga shopping center.
CRAIG
Oh yeah, why you walking?
KARLA
My brothers won't give me a ride.
Day-Day is about to have a heart attack. He's looking back
and forth between Craig and Karla, and the Joker's house
where somebody is looking out the window.
DAY-DAY
(to himself)
Just get the number and come on. Just
get the number and come on.
Back at the "Love Connection," Craig has Karla smiling.
CRAIG
You want us to give you a ride?
KARLA
I don't know.
CRAIG
What you mean, you don't know? Just wait
here.
Craig starts to trot over towards Day-Day. Day-Day is
frantically waving Craig to hurry.
CRAIG (cont'd)
What are you worried about?
Day-Day's eyes get as big as golf balls.
DAY-DAY
Cheeco!
Craig turns to see the pit bull "Cheeco" running right after
him.
KARLA
Cheeco, no!
Craig runs right towards Day-Day's BMW.
DAY-DAY
Oh shit, jump!
They both jump on top of Day-Day's BMW with CHEECO coming up
fast. He's BARKING viciously.
ACROSS STREET
Joker, Li'l Joker and Baby Joker are across the street
laughing. Karla is embarrassed.
ON BMW
Craig is breathing hard but he's calm, but Day-Day is
terrified.
DAY-DAY (cont'd)
Hey, Joker! Stop playing, man! Call the
dog back!
They continue to laugh. Craig pulls his belt off. He swings
it and hits Cheeco in the middle of his forehead with the
buckle. The DOG CRIES and runs back across the street.
The Jokers aren't laughing anymore. Joker stares at Craig.
Craig stares back. You can feel the tension. Joker kicks
the dog.
JOKER
Get yo dumb ass in the back.
CHEECO HOLLERS. Craig and Day-Day get off the top of the
BMW.
DAY-DAY
Look at my roof.
Big dents in the roof of his BMW.
DAY-DAY (cont'd)
Man, why you do that? I told you not to
talk to that girl.
CRAIG
Why not? She was cool with it.
Day-Day gets into the car.
DAY-DAY
So.
CRAIG
What you mean, so?
DAY-DAY
If you 'get into it' with them S.A.'s and
start a feud, you can always go back to
home. I gotta live here. Just remember
that.
He slams the door, starts the car and backs up. Leaving
Craig standing there. He sees Karla walking away. He looks
over at the Jokers. They're still staring hard. Craig just
looks away and walks into the house.
INT. UNCLE ELROY'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Craig steps into the house.
UNCLE ELROY
Nephew, you got perfect timing...
Uncle Elroy is sitting on the couch. He has a Phillies'
Blunt (cigar) in one hand, a razor blade in the other.
UNCLE ELROY (cont'd)
We about to start a little puff, puff
give in this mothafucka. Are you down?
Suga is sippin' on a glass of wine. She moves over, making
room in the middle.
SUGA
(patting the couch)
Come on, Craig. Sit down right here.
Craig does. Suga moves closer, boxing him in nice and tight.
Uncle Elroy licks the cigar.
UNCLE ELROY
I know you smoke weed, right?
CRAIG
Why you say that?
UNCLE ELROY
'Cause your lips is getting black.
Uncle Elroy takes the razor and starts to cut the cigar the
long way.
UNCLE ELROY (cont'd)
All I smoke is blunts. Them fuckin'
Zigzags don't do nothing for me.
Uncle Elroy scrapes the cigar shavings into a nearby trash
can (that's overflowing with cigar shavings already). Suga
presses against Craig.
SUGA
Would you like a glass of wine, baby?
CRAIG
No thank you. It's too early.
Uncle Elroy stuffs the open cigar full of weed. He's
concentrating.
UNCLE ELROY
Boy, I can roll a blunt better than them
bitches in Havana. I know Willie don't
let'cha smoke in the house, but I'm ya
uncle. I don't care how high you get in
my house. Long as you let me hit it...
He licks and rolls.
UNCLE ELROY (cont'd)
Look at that.
It's perfect.
SUGA
Fire it up, Roy.
Uncle Elroy grabs the lighter.
UNCLE ELROY
Now I'mma show you the real "Puff Daddy."
He lights the blunt. Craig's watching, so is Suga. Uncle
Elroy holds the smoke in for a very long time. Maybe too
long...'cause his eyes start to bulge, and he starts to toke
(cough with your mouth closed). And toke. And toke. And
toke. It looks like he's about to bust when he lets out a
big puff of smoke. Then he starts to cough, and cough, and
cough out of control.
Craig and Suga are amazed at this display. Uncle Elroy falls
to the floor on his hands and knees. Still coughing. He
falls on his back and passes the blunt to Craig.
UNCLE ELROY (cont'd)
(still coughing)
It's the Bombay.
Craig takes the blunt and puts it up to his lips. He hits
it, holds it in and looks at Suga. Suddenly, his eyes bulge
out and he starts to toke, and toke, and toke, and toke. He
starts to cough out of control and he falls next to Uncle
Elroy who's still coughing. Craig passes the blunt to Suga,
who looks at it for a moment and then looks directly INTO the
CAMERA. (As if to say, "Shiiiiiiiiiiiit.").
INT. UNCLE ELROY'S HOUSE - 15 MINUTES LATER
All three are passed out on the couch. Uncle Elroy is
snoring with a little slobber hanging. Craig's knocked out
with his mouth open. Suga's head is not secure and she's
starting to bob. She bobs so hard that her head falls in
Craig's lap. He wakes up and looks down.
CRAIG
Suga.
He looks over at Uncle Elroy who's looking over at him.
UNCLE ELROY
Negro, what the hell you doing to my
woman?
CRAIG
(confused and dazed)
I don't know!
UNCLE ELROY
Suga!
SUGA
(face in lap)
Huh?
UNCLE ELROY
What you doing to my nephew?
SUGA
(lifting her head)
Ah, baby...I thought this was you.
(to Craig)
Craig, what are you doing to me?
CRAIG
I don't know, I think I passed out or
something. I don't remember.
UNCLE ELROY
Passed out? Can't hang, huh? Boy, I
knew you was a lightweight. Passed out
on one funky ass blunt. They don't make
'em like they used to, baby.
Uncle Elroy staggers to his feet.
UNCLE ELROY (cont'd)
Come on, woman. I'm faded and feeling X-
rated. It's Mr. Nasty time.
SUGA
Mr. Nasty time?
UNCLE ELROY
Mr. Nasty time.
(grabbing his back)
But take it easy on me, girl.
SUGA
Craig, you ain't the only lightweight
around here.
Suga takes Elroy's hand.
UNCLE ELROY
Make yourself at home.
They both stumble upstairs leaving Craig all alone. It's too
quiet now. He grabs the remote and TURNS ON the TV. Flicks
a few channels. He picks up the blunt and the lighter.
ON TV
A public service announcement from King/Drew Rehab Center.
It's SMOKEY!
SMOKEY (V.O.)
Hi, my name is Smokey. And I'm a bud-
head. But here at the King/Drew Rehab
Center, they help you curve your crave
for marijuana but still let you get your
drank on.
He lifts a 22 oz. bottle of Olde English.
SMOKEY (cont'd) (V.O.)
It's too hard to stop everything all at
once. So some days they let you smoke,
but not drank. And other days you can
drank, but not smoke. And if you're
really making progress, the nurses will
get fucked up wit you. Helping you kick
the habit by smoking up all yo shit. So
come down to the King/Drew Rehab Center
and put down the joint, but B.Y.O.B.,
man!
BACK ON COUCH
Craig is high. He's looking at the TV with a slight smile on
his face. It seems like the walls are shaking. He looks
over at Suga's glass and her wine is vibrating, like Jurassic
Park. Plaster falls from the ceiling. He listens, it's
Uncle Elroy and Suga making love.
UNCLE ELROY (O.S.)
Oh, baby, right there. Right
there...bite the nipple, baby. Bite it!
Bite it! Yeah, mothafucka -- yeah, come
on, baby, get busy...
His eavesdropping is interrupted by a loud KNOCK on the door.
Craig is so comfortable, he doesn't want to move. The
KNOCKING gets LOUDER.
DELIVERY GUY (O.S.)
Delivery!
CRAIG
Hold on.
Craig gets up slowly and starts to clean the area. The
KNOCKING CONTINUES.
DELIVERY GUY (O.S.)
Delivery!
CRAIG
I said hold on!
DELIVERY GUY (O.S.)
Could you hurry up, please... it's kinda
hot out here.
Craig stops what he's doing and swings the door open.
ON PORCH
The DELIVERY GUY, a thirtysomething asshole with tight shorts
and a buzz cut, is looking into the house.
CRAIG
Can I help you?
DELIVERY GUY
Nice house. Didn't expect you to answer.
You must be one of those entertainers.
What team you play for?
CRAIG
I don't play for no team.
DELIVERY GUY
Come on, jerky, you can tell me. Got a
white wife, huh? Blonde bombshell type.
Remember what happen to O.J... what team
do you play for? You're not related to
the Jacksons, are you?
CRAIG
(in his face)
Naw, I play for the Chocamunga Cracker
Killers. You want tickets?
DELIVERY GUY
Okay, buddy. Don't send your entourage
out here to do a 187 on me. It's just a
certified mail delivery.
He hands Craig a letter.
DELIVERY GUY (cont'd)
Sign here.
Craig signs.
CRAIG
What is it?
DELIVERY GUY
Delinquent Property Tax Notice... I hope
the Cracker Killers pay well 'cause if
not, back to the ghetto you go. Wife
stays here, of course.
He laughs and walks off singing the "Good Times" jingle.
DELIVERY GUY (cont'd)
'...temporary layoffs? Good
Times...hustling and surviving... Good
Times...ain't we lucky we got'em...' Oh
shit!
Cheeco starts to chase him down the street. Craig looks at
the notice. "DELINQUENT! YOUR HOUSE WILL BE SEIZED AND
AUCTIONED -- TOMORROW AT 9AM PAY TODAY!"
CRAIG
Oh damn.
He SLAMS the DOOR. We FOLLOW Craig upstairs TO Uncle Elroy's
room. He knocks softly.
CRAIG (cont'd)
Uncle Elroy?
No answer.
CRAIG (cont'd)
Uncle Elroy, you got a tax notice.
Still no answer. He turns the knob. It's open.
INT. UNCLE ELROY'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
Craig steps into Uncle Elroy's freak palace. Black lights,
candles, velvet posters - the works. There's even a leather
fuck swing hanging from the ceiling. Uncle Elroy and Suga
are asleep in a leopard-skin waterbed. Craig is amazed. He
slowly walks over to the bed. Uncle Elroy is calling the
hogs. Snoring.
CRAIG
(whispering)
Uncle Elroy...Uncle Elroy?
He's about to shake him when Uncle Elroy lets out a big
grunt. It startles Craig. He looks over at Suga. She's
completely under the covers. Uncle Elroy rolls over on his
stomach, then he rolls on his back again. Craig shakes him.
CRAIG (cont'd)
Uncle Elroy, wake up. You got a letter
today.
No response. Craig tries again.
CRAIG (cont'd)
Unc.
Uncle Elroy jumps up like a hibernating grizzly.
UNCLE ELROY
(half asleep)
Come on here, Suga...
He goes after Craig, who has to fight him off.
UNCLE ELROY (cont'd)
I like it rough now.
CRAIG
Naw, naw! Unc, wake up! It's me! Wake
up!
Uncle Elroy grabs him in a bear hug and slams him on the bed.
Craig finds himself caught between Suga and Uncle Elroy, but
now everything is totally still and quiet. Uncle Elroy
starts to snore again. He's asleep. The coast is clear now.
Craig tries to make his escape. He crawls over Suga to get
away. She grabs him and starts to kiss him.
SUGA
(half asleep)
Ohhh, baby!
Craig breaks away and tries to hurry out the room. On his
exit, he hangs himself on the "fuck swing" and hits the floor
with a thud. He scrambles to his feet, then he's out of
there. Uncle Elroy and Suga lay asleep as if nothing ever
happened.
IN HALLWAY
Craig tries to gain his composure. He gets an idea.
EXT. BUSY CITY STREET - AFTERNOON
Debo is riding Ezal on the handlebars.
EZAL
We gotta stop or something, man. My ass
is hurting. This handlebar is hard.
Debo keeps riding.
EZAL (cont'd)
Debo! Debo! Now you stuck on stupid.
He finally stops at a pay phone. Ezal jumps off and grabs
his ass.
EZAL (cont'd)
My God...gotta walk it out, walk it out.
Man, it's gonna take us a week to ride
out there.
DEBO
Shut up! He still eats here every day!
EXT. SANDWICH JOINT - ACROSS STREET - CONTINUOUS
Mr. Jones' dog truck sits in front.
DEBO
Here's the plan. You gonna call over
there and say you have a very urgent
message for Mr. William Jones.
EZAL
What urgent message?
DEBO
If you shut up I'll tell you. The urgent
message is...Drop everything! Craig is
in trouble. Come quick, don't call.
EZAL
That ain't gonna work.
Debo slaps him in the back of the head.
DEBO
Just do it.
EZAL
I don't know the number.
Smack! Debo slaps him again.
DEBO
It's on the outside of the building, now
pick the phone up!
Ezal picks up the phone. He starts to dial.
EZAL
Hello...Yeah, I got an urgent message for
a nigga named Mr. Willie Jones.
Debo slaps him again.
DEBO
William.
EZAL
Yeah, I got a urgent message for a
customer named William Jones. Drop
everything, Craig is in trouble. Come
quick. Don't try to call.
Ezal hangs up the phone.
EZAL (cont'd)
Man, you better stop hittin' on me for I
do you like Craig did you.
DEBO
Let's go.
Debo and Ezal run across the street to the dog truck. Debo
opens the back and lets all the dogs out. They run for it.
DEBO (cont'd)
After I get in, close the door.
Debo is a hard fit. Ezal stuffs him in there.
EZAL
You too big.
DEBO
Keep pushing.
Finally he's in. Ezal gets in and slams the door shut. Just
then, Mr. Jones comes running out the joint with a sandwich
in hand.
MR. JONES
Oh my God!
He gets in and speeds off.
EXT. CUCAMONGA SHOPPING CENTER - AFTERNOON
Cars pull in and out of this 12 store strip mall where
Pinky's is located.
INT. PINKY'S RECORDS AND DISC - AFTERNOON
Everything is pink inside this mom and pop record store. The
latest RAP HIT PLAYS in the B.G. A few people exit the store
with bags.
Day-Day is scanning inventory. A bud-head by the name of
ROACH is on top of the counter with his skateboard.
ROACH
Yo, Day-Day! Check me out.
He tries to jump off the counter and land perfectly on his
board. Wrong! Off the board and on his ass.
DAY-DAY
Look, Roach, I know you ain't never
worked in a record shop before and you're
a little excited. But if Pinky catches
you doing that X-Games shit off his
counter top, we both getting fired. You
feel me?
ROACH
I feel you. I've just been practicing
that one move all week.
(disappointed)
I thought that was it.
An unhappy CUSTOMER walks in holding a CD without the cover.
CUSTOMER #1
I can't get jiggy with this shit.
(getting loud)
Where is the damn manager?
DAY-DAY
Sir, the manager stepped out for a
moment. I'm currently running the store.
Can I see the CD?
The customer throws the CD on the counter. Day-Day picks it
up.
CUSTOMER #1
No, give me my damn money back. Right
now, and I don't have no damn receipt
neither.
DAY-DAY
Okay, sir...but where's the cover?
CUSTOMER #1
I don't have no damn cover.
Craig walks in with the notice in hand.
DAY-DAY
I can't give you your damn money back on
this.
CUSTOMER #1
Bullshit! I'll go postal in this
mothafucka!
DAY-DAY
Well, you gonna have to go postal then.
The customer KNOCKS over a counter display and then turns to
get away.
DAY-DAY (cont'd)
Hey!
Craig bumps him and he falls into the Rap cassette rack.
CUSTOMER #1
I'm sorry! Don't hit me! Don't hit me.
He jumps up and slips on a few more cassettes on his scramble
out the door.
DAY-DAY
...and if you come back, it's gonna be
worse.
Roach can't believe what just happened.
ROACH
Did you see that? That was a W.W.F. hit
right there, huh, Day-Day?
DAY-DAY
Yeah, it was. How you get up here?
CRAIG
I walked.
DAY-DAY
You walked?
CRAIG
Yeah, ya'll got a notice today. It came
certified mail.
He gives it to Day-Day.
DAY-DAY
Craig, this Roach. Roach, this is my
cousin, Craig.
ROACH
What up, bro?
Craig nods his head.
CRAIG
I tried to wake up Uncle Elroy but he
thought I was Suga.
Day-Day reads the notice.
DAY-DAY
You know what this is?
CRAIG
Yeah, that's why I walked down here.
ROACH
What it say?
Day-Day ignores Roach.
DAY-DAY
How can they do this?
CRAIG
I don't know. Did ya'll forget to pay it
or something?
ROACH
What it say?
DAY-DAY
Ever since my momma died the bills are
always late.
CRAIG
See how much it is?
Day-Day opens it. A PHONE starts to RING.
ROACH
What is it?
DAY-DAY
Don't worry about it, man. Get the
phone.
Roach skateboards over to the phone.
ROACH
Pinky's.
Day-Day reads on.
DAY-DAY
It says we owe $3,900...by tomorrow.
CRAIG
Damn...how much money ya'll got left from
the lottery?
Day-Day goes for his bank book. He flips a few pages.
DAY-DAY
$247.
CRAIG
Okay, plan B.
Day-Day is overwhelmed. Roach skates back over.
ROACH
That was a girl on a cell phone. She
said she's outside in the parking lot
waiting for you to take her to lunch.
Day-Day looks at Craig. He runs over to the door.
OUTSIDE IN THE PARKING LOT
D'Wana sits in her car with her play sister BABY'D (her name
does not fit her body).
DAY-DAY
Oh my God. That's D'Wana. And she got
Baby'D with her.
Day-Day locks the door and runs into the back. Craig and
Roach follow.
CRAIG
What's the matter?
DAY-DAY
D'Wana brought Baby'D up here.
ROACH
That the big one, huh?
DAY-DAY
You damn right that's the big one.
The PHONE starts to RING again. D'Wana and Baby'D are at the
door. D'Wana is on her phone. Baby'D starts to knock.
DAY-DAY (cont'd)
Craig, go out there and tell 'em I'm
gone.
CRAIG
I ain't trying to get in it.
DAY-DAY
You already in.
The knocking gets louder.
CRAIG
No I'm not.
ROACH
I'll do it.
DAY-DAY
No. You can't handle a girl like D'Wana.
It's got to be Craig.
AT FRONT DOOR
They observe the "Yes We're Open" sign.
D'WANA
That white boy said he was in there.
BABY'D
Day-Day, don't make me break this window!
Craig is peeking out. He hesitates.
DAY-DAY
Watch out for Baby'D.
Craig walks out the back. He steps over the door. Unlocks
it, and cracks it open.
CRAIG
Day-Day ain't here.
They don't believe him.
D'WANA
Who are you?
CRAIG
I'm his cousin.
BABY'D
You suppose to work here now or
something?
CRAIG
Yeah, I work here now.
D'WANA
We didn't come here for Day-Day.
CRAIG
Yes you did.
D'WANA
No we didn't. We came to buy a CD.
BABY'D
Now move.
Baby'D kicks the door. Craig has no choice but to let 'em
in.
D'WANA
Where's that boy that told me Day-Day was
here?
CRAIG
I don't know... I think he went out the
back.
D'WANA
Can I look for myself?
Suddenly Roach is pushed into the front area.
ROACH
Hey, ladies.
D'WANA
Where's Day-Day?
ROACH
I don't know, he must've left.
D'Wana looks at Baby'D.
CRAIG
I thought ya'll wanted to buy a CD?
BABY'D
I do... can you help me find the jazz
section?
Craig looks at Roach for directions. He nods over towards
the front of the store.
CRAIG
Right this way. You know damn well you
don't listen to no jazz.
Baby'D checks out Craig as he leads the way. D'Wana looks
around.
D'WANA
If Day-Day comes back, tell him I came by
and need to see him. Lamaze classes are
Wednesday.
ROACH
Will do.
D'Wana starts to walk towards Craig and Baby'D.
D'WANA
Come on, 'D, let's go.
But first she doubles back towards the storage room.
CRAIG
Where you going?
D'WANA
Ain't the rest room this way? I gotta
pee.
ROACH
Yeah.
D'WANA
Thank you.
As she's walking in the back, Roach realizes his mistake.
BACK STORAGE AREA
DAY-DAY
Shit.
Day-Day makes a run for it. She spots him ducking out the
back door.
D'WANA
He's in there!
INSIDE STORE
Baby'D knocks Craig out of the way.
BABY'D
Where is he?
D'WANA
He ran out the door.
Baby'D gives chase with D'Wana, Craig and Roach close behind.
EXT. PINKY'S RECORDS AND DISC - CONTINUOUS
Day-Day runs around the side of Pinky's Records store. He
stops to see if anyone is coming. It's Baby'D with the three
others trailing. Baby'D is chasing Day-Day all through the
parking lot. Craig, D'Wana and Roach stop to watch.
ROACH
Haul ass, dude. Don't stop.
...and he is.
CRAIG
You better stop running from that girl.
DAY-DAY
Fuuuuuuck -- U!
He runs back towards his BMW. The chase continues around his
car. Baby'D is starting to tire.
DAY-DAY (cont'd)
I'mma shoot yo' big ass.
D'Wana watches from a distance. Craig and Roach are close.
ROACH
(smiling)
She moves well for a big girl.
Just then, out of nowhere, Karla appears behind them carrying
a couple of bags. She taps Craig on his shoulder. He turns
around.
KARLA
Hello, remember me?
CRAIG
Hell yeah, I remember you.
KARLA
I'm sorry for what my brother did this
morning. They're assholes.
CRAIG
It's cool. You ain't got to apologize
for your brothers. They're big boys.
KARLA
I just wanted to give you this.
She hands him a card with her number on it.
KARLA (cont'd)
If my brothers wasn't so over-protective,
I'd have you call the house. But for now
just page me when you get a chance.
CRAIG
Most definitely.
KARLA
Better sooner than later.
She picks up her shopping bags and walks away. Over at the
chase: Baby'D is winded. She bends over trying to catch her
breath.
DAY-DAY
Baby'D, you're not going to catch me as
usual. So what can we do to end it this
time? What you want? Another Big Pun
CD? 'Cause I gotta get back to work.
Baby'D looks over at Craig.
BABY'D
Okay, I know what I want this time.
DAY-DAY
Anything you need.
BABY'D
Yo' cousin, Craig. Hook us up.
DAY-DAY
That's it?
BABY'D
Just tell him to come over here and talk
to me.
DAY-DAY
And I can go free?
BABY'D
Go, fo' I change my mind.
Day-Day carefully walks back over towards the store. D'Wana
pouts and walks towards Baby'D. (If looks could kill.)
ROACH
Great moves, Day-Day.
CRAIG
What happen?
DAY-DAY
We worked out a deal. All you gotta do
is go over there and talk to Baby'D.
Craig looks over at Baby'D. She's waiting.
CRAIG
What you mean talk to her?
ROACH
(still smiling)
You know what he mean, dude.
CRAIG
I'm gone.
Craig turns and sprints into the store. Baby'D looks
concerned. Day-Day grabs Roach and they run into the store.
BABY'D
I'mma get you, Day-Day! You gotta come
out sometimes!
D'Wana hands her a brick.
D'WANA
I told you.
Baby'D screams and throws the brick through Day-Day's
WINDSHIELD.
INT. PINKY'S RECORDS AND DISC - CONTINUOUS
DAY-DAY
What was that?
ROACH
(looking out window)
You don't wanna know.
Day-Day is devastated.
DAY-DAY
Thanks a lot, Craig.
CRAIG
I know we cousins and all, but don't try
an' hook me up with the big little
sisters.
DAY-DAY
Big bitches need love, too, Craig.
ROACH
For sure. That's how I like 'em.
CRAIG
Not me.
DAY-DAY
Are they still out there?
ROACH
Negative...they vamped.
Day-Day starts to walk into the back storage area.
ROACH (cont'd)
Shouldn't we straighten up out here
before Pinky gets back?
Day-Day is like a zombie now. He doesn't answer, just keeps
walking.
CRAIG
Day-Day?
No answer. Craig looks at Roach. They follow.
BACK STORAGE AREA
Day-Day sits with the notice in hand.
DAY-DAY
Today ain't my day.
ROACH
Bummer, huh? And Friday is suppose to be
a kick-ass day.
CRAIG
Yeah it is...the best day before the
weekend.
ROACH
That's fuckin' poetic, Craig.
Day-Day is still sad.
ROACH (cont'd)
I know how you feeling. And if I had my
bong right now, I'd let you 'toke 'til
you choke.' Dude, right here. All out.
No lungs. All I got is this.
Roach pulls out a big, smashed brownie with green shit in it.
CRAIG
What's the green stuff poking out?
ROACH
That's cron-don, sir. My mom hates for
me to smoke, so she made me bud-brownies.
Wanna bite?
CRAIG
Naw, I already ate.
ROACH
Come on, Day, try it. For moms.
Day-Day shakes his head. Craig reaches into his fifth
pocket.
CRAIG
It ain't a bong but, wa-la!
He has the joint from this morning.
ROACH
Wo!
Roach snatches it.
CRAIG
Hey.
Craig snatches it back.
ROACH
Sorry, bro, reflexes. How did you do
that?
CRAIG
Black magic.
Day-Day snatches the joint and puts it in his mouth.
DAY-DAY
Give me dat. I'm the one with the
problem.
Roach pulls out a mini-skateboard that's actually a lighter.
ROACH
Weed doesn't solve problems. It eases
the mind, and the soul. Enjoy.
He lights the joint. Day-Day takes a hit.
CRAIG
I didn't think you smoked bud that much.
DAY-DAY
(letting out the smoke)
I don't.
ROACH
(taking the joint)
I do.
DAY-DAY
Damn nigga, don't Jack the joint. I
didn't even pass it.
ROACH
(hitting it good)
Sorry, dude.
CRAIG
You better open up a window or something
before the smell gets out.
DAY-DAY
Ain't no windows in here.
ROACH
I got an idea.
He hands the joint to Craig. Gets up and closes the door.
Then he grabs the vacuum out of the corner.
ROACH (cont'd)
This is a little theory of mine... it
should work.
He plugs in the VACUUM and TURNS it ON. He puts the nozzle
in Day-Day's face.
DAY-DAY
Blow.
CRAIG
That ain't gonna work.
ROACH
Fuck yeah.
Day-Day hits the 'J and blows into the nozzle. It quickly
sucks up the smoke.
DAY-DAY
(passing the 'J)
It works.
CRAIG
Still gonna smell it.
ROACH
No way. Watch this.
Roach hits the joint harder than anyone else. Smoke starts
to come out of his ears. Craig and Day-Day get a kick out of
that.
EXT. PINKY'S RECORDS AND DISC - CONTINUOUS
A pink limo pulls to a stop. The chauffeur gets out wearing
his suit just a little too tight. He opens the door and a
pair of pink boots hit the pavement. The CAMERA PANS UP TO
PINKY (35), the asshole owner.
PINKY
Look, man, you hittin' them goddamn
corners too fast. Slow down. I almost
spilled my Hennessy on this 300 dollar
suit.
He walks over to the door. He thinks it's open. It's not.
PINKY (cont'd)
I be damn.
He shakes the door. It's locked. He looks inside. No one's
at the counter. Cassettes all over the floor. Pinky looks
around making sure no one sneaks up on him. He reaches under
his shirt and pulls out a Glock 9mm. Sticks his key in the
door and steps in.
BACK STORE AREA - CLOSE UP - ROACH
is upside down. All the blood has rushed to his head. He
has Chinaman eyes and a big smile on his face.
DAY-DAY
Roach, what are you doing?
ROACH
R-U-S-H Intensely.
A big cloud of smoke rolls out of his mouth and he falls and
hits the deck.
ROACH (cont'd)
My spleen.
Craig and Day-Day laugh at Roach. The VACUUM is still GOING
but the room is very smoky. Craig jumps in.
CRAIG
(unplugging the vacuum)
This vacuum don't work. Where's the
restroom?
DAY-DAY
Out the door and to the left.
ROACH
I thought the vacuum would work.
IN HALLWAY
Craig makes a left and grabs the knob. He feels something
pressing on the back of his head (gun).
PINKY
(whispering)
Don't move or I'll blow your head smooth
off.
Craig throws his hands up.
PINKY (cont'd)
Now back up slowly... and don't say a
word.
He obeys. Pinky backs Craig into the store.
PINKY (cont'd)
Get on the floor.
Craig gets down.
PINKY (cont'd)
Little mothafucka trying to rob me.
I'mma show you how I do 'em.
CRAIG
I ain't trying to rob you...
PINKY
Shut up! Fo' I pump this Glock in yo'
ass! What did you do wit Day-Day and
Roach?
CRAIG
Man, Day-Day is my people!
PINKY
I said shut up! Now who sent you?
CRAIG
Nobody!
PINKY
If you say another word, it's over. I'm
not playing!
Pinky starts to pat down Craig's pockets.
PINKY (cont'd)
You ain't got no gun, but where's the
weed at? I smell it.
Craig says nothing.
PINKY (cont'd)
I'mma tie you ass up!
Pinky backs up and steps on Roach's skateboard. The gun goes
flying and so does he. Pinky falls on his ass. The 9mm
lands in front of Craig. There's a big scramble for the gun.
BACK STORAGE AREA
The mood is serious.
DAY-DAY
I gotta think of a plan to get this money
before tomorrow.
ROACH
You could sell your Beamer.
Day-Day gives Roach the evil-eye.
ROACH (cont'd)
My bad.
DAY-DAY
I don't know. I hope Craig got a good
idea. We gotta ask him when he comes
out. Let's go and clean up before Pinky
gets here.
ROACH
Maybe you can ask him to loan you the
money.
DAY-DAY
Yoooo, that's it. You ain't as dumb as I
think you are, Roach.
ROACH
I know.
BACK INSIDE STORE
Pinky and Craig are still scrambling for the gun. The store
looks like a tornado hit it. Twice. Craig comes up with the
pistol. Pinky jumps on the ground.
PINKY
Don't kill me.
Craig is exhausted. He stands over Pinky with the gun.
CRAIG
Shut up. I been trying to tell yo' ass
that... Day-Day is my cousin. They're
right there in the back.
PINKY
Whatever you say, man. I didn't see
shit. The safe combination is 34-5-27.
Just take it all.
Just then, Day-Day and Roach come from the back.
DAY-DAY
Craig, what the hell are you doing?
CRAIG
Nothing.
PINKY
Day-Day, is this your cousin?
DAY-DAY
Yeah.
PINKY
Good. You fired...and, Roach, your fired
too.
ROACH
Why me?
PINKY
I smell weed.
He looks up at Craig.
PINKY (cont'd)
And you...you lucky. I was just about to
get in yo' ass. Now give me my pistol
back and get the hell out my store.
Craig looks at Day-Day. Day-Day looks back at him. Nobody's
high now.
EXT. FREEWAY - MONTAGE SEQUENCE - AFTERNOON
Mr. Jones' dog truck is weaving in and out of traffic.
INT. TRUCK - MONTAGE SEQUENCE - CONTINUOUS
Mr. Jones is driving and eating at the same time. He
finishes off the last few bites of his sandwich.
MR. JONES
Just hold on, Craig. I'm on my way.
INT. BACK OF TRUCK - MONTAGE SEQUENCE
Debo and Ezal are smashed inside the dog cages.
EZAL
Debo! Debo!
DEBO
What?
EZAL
I can't feel my legs no more.
DEBO
Me neither. How far is Rancho Cucamonga?
EZAL
I don't know.
EXT. UNCLE ELROY'S STREET - MONTAGE SEQUENCE
The Beamer pulls into the driveway. Our trio get out with
very long faces.
CRAIG (V.O.)
In a strange way, I feel responsible for
Day-Day getting fired. If I wouldn't
have fought Pinky, and gave Day-Day the
joint, he'd still have a job.
Day-Day walks into the house while Craig and Roach stay out
on the porch.
INT. UNCLE ELROY'S HOUSE - UPSTAIRS - MONTAGE SEQUENCE
Uncle Elroy opens his bedroom door wearing a S&M mask and
holding a tube of KY jelly. He removes the mask. Day-Day
hands him the notice. Uncle Elroy takes it with his greasy
hands.
UNCLE ELROY
Ah damn. Damn.
DAY-DAY
I got fired too.
UNCLE ELROY
What?!
He starts to beat Day-Day with a sex toy.
EXT. FREEWAY - MONTAGE SEQUENCE - AFTERNOON
The dog truck exits the freeway. He pulls into a gas station
by the freeway. He stops near the restrooms and jumps out,
air freshner in hand. When he gets to the door, it's locked.
MR. JONES
Damn.
He knocks.
MR. JONES (cont'd)
Say, man, hurry up. We got an emergency
out here.
No answer. Mr. Jones paces nervously.
MR. JONES (cont'd)
I knew I shouldn't have ordered that
extra hot sauce.
EXT. UNCLE ELROY'S PORCH - MONTAGE SEQUENCE - LATE AFTERNOON
Craig and Day-Day are trying to think. Roach is practicing
skateboard moves. He's not very good.
DAY-DAY
Man, sit down.
EXT. GAS STATION RESTROOM - MONTAGE SEQUENCE
He knocks again.
MR. JONES
Say, man, what the hell you doing in
there? Open the door.
Just then the door opens and out walks MICHAEL JORDAN.
MICHAEL JORDAN
Don't nobody go in the bathroom for about
35, 40 minutes.
Mr. Jones is stunned.
MR. JONES
Hey, you that boy?
Jordan jumps in his car and he's gone. Mr. Jones is happy
he's just seen Michael Jordan.
MR. JONES (cont'd)
(smiling)
Ain't that something, Michael Jordan.
He walks in the bathroom.
INSIDE
Reality hits, it stinks up in there. Mr. Jones fronds.
MR. JONES (cont'd)
Oh, Michael, that boy better check his
drawls.
He starts to spray.
EXT. UNCLE ELROY'S PORCH - MONTAGE SEQUENCE - LATE AFTERNOON
Craig, Day-Day and Roach are sitting on the porch thinking.
DAY-DAY
What we gonna do?
CRAIG
I don't know yet.
ROACH
I know what I'mma do. Go home and face
the music. My dad is gonna kick my ass
for getting fired again.
He gets on his skateboard.
DAY-DAY
Alright, Roach, see you around.
CRAIG
Sorry about today, man.
ROACH
Yeah, me too. Later.
He attempts to jump off the porch with his board and lands
dead on his ass once again. His board continues to roll.
DAY-DAY
Man, sit down. I can't think with you
falling everywhere.
His board continues to roll into the street. At this same
time, Joker's low-rider rolls by and breaks his board in two.
Roach runs to pick up the pieces.
ROACH
My board!
The Joker Bros. back their low-rider into the driveway. They
have no sympathy. Cheeco (the pitbull) is in the back yard.
He's happy to see them.
They stroll into the house with three Mexican girls with
them. Joker spots our trio looking.
JOKER
What the fuck you looking at?
DAY-DAY
Nothing.
ROACH
You ran over my board!
JOKER
So what? It shouldn't have been in the
street.
They disappear into the house.
BACK ON PORCH
Craig has a twinkle in his eyes and Roach walks over, pissed.
ROACH
Who the fuck is that, Day-Day?
DAY-DAY
Let it go, Roach, trust me.
ROACH
I'm not letting nothing go. They killed
my board.
DAY-DAY
Let it go!
Craig is looking over at the Joker's house. Baby Joker walks
out the front door. He walks over to the rider and POPS the
TRUNK.
CRAIG
Wait. Check'em out.
Baby Joker pulls out a chrome hydraulic pump. He carries it
towards the house. Cheeco starts to hump his leg.
BABY JOKER
Get down.
Baby Joker drops the pump, something falls out. (We can't
see what it is.) Baby Joker quickly puts it back.
BACK ON PORCH
CRAIG
You see that?
DAY-DAY
I didn't see nothing.
ROACH
Me neither.
CRAIG
It's something in that hydraulic pump.
DAY-DAY
Yeah, air.
CRAIG
Naw. I bet'cha it's something better
than air.
DAY-DAY
How you know? It could be anything.
CRAIG
I don't know, and it could be anything.
But I just say we go take a look.
ROACH
I say we go over there and kick their
asses. I can take the little one.
DAY-DAY
Are you out your mind? I'm not messing
with them S.A.'s boy. You must be crazy.
CRAIG
Could be. Rather be crazy than homeless.
Now all we need is a big pack of baloney.
Day-Day and Roach look at each other.
BOTH
Baloney??
INT. JOKER'S HOUSE - DEN - NIGHT
The private party is starting to heat up. Big Joker sits on
the couch with a PRETTY YOUNG GIRL on his lap. He's smoking
on a perfectly rolled cone joint. Li'l Joker dances with the
other girlfriend, as an OLD SCHOOL JAM PLAYS in the B.G. The
other senorita is pouring herself a drink.
Karla walks into the room.
KARLA
I thought you were taking me to see Mama?
JOKER
I'll take you later.
KARLA
When? After you get all drunk and
loaded?
JOKER
Hey! I said I'll take your fuckin' ass
later. Now get out of here. You're
scaring our company.
Karla storms out the room. Baby Joker walks in carrying the
chrome pump.
JOKER (cont'd)
Get up.
The Pretty Girl moves off Joker's lap.
JOKER (cont'd)
Take it in the room.
Baby Joker carries the pump in the bedroom. Joker is close
behind. He SLAMS the DOOR. The Girl dancing with Li'l Joker
gets too nosy.
GIRL #1
What was that?
LI'L JOKER
What was what?
GIRL #1
That silver thing.
LI'L JOKER
I didn't see no silver thing, and neither
did you.
EXT. UNCLE ELROY'S STREET - CONTINUOUS
Craig, Day-Day and Roach are sneaking across the street
towards Joker's house. Craig looks calm. Day-Day looks
nervous. Roach eats on a piece of baloney.
DAY-DAY
This ain't gonna work. I'm going back.
Day-Day tries to turn around. Craig grabs him.
CRAIG
It's about to work, just come on.
ROACH
(about to bite baloney)
What about the dog?
Craig slaps the baloney out of his hand.
CRAIG
That's what the baloney's for!
All three kneel down next to a parked car. Day-Day looks
sick.
DAY-DAY
Man, I don't think I can do this, Craig.
I got the B-G's.
CRAIG
What's the B-G's?
DAY-DAY
(holding his stomach)
The bubble guts. I'm so nervous it feels
like I'mma shit on myself.
ROACH
Try an' hold it, man. Squeeze your ass
cheeks together.
DAY-DAY
Butterflies, my ass. I'm about to go
home.
Craig grabs Day-Day again.
CRAIG
Look, Day-Day. If we don't go over there
and take a look, this might be the last
night you got a home. Now trust me.
Day-Day realizes that Craig is right. He takes a deep breath.
CRAIG (cont'd)
Now all we gotta do is find out where the
little one put that pump. Take it and
see what's in it.
DAY-DAY
You make it sound so easy.
CRAIG
It is easy. You know why? 'Cause they're
not expecting it.
Now, Roach, you gotta occupy Cheeco.
Long enough for me and Day-Day to take a
good look.
ROACH
Dude, dogs hate me. I don't know why.
Me and K-9's just don't get along.
CRAIG
Well get along with this one.
(pushing Roach)
Go ahead of us. Don't get seen and don't
let that mutt out of your sight.
ROACH
Fuck, what's his name?
CRAIG
Cheeco.
Roach crawls away on his hands and knees.
EXT. JOKER'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Roach sneaks past Joker's lowrider. He slowly approaches the
fence. No sign of Cheeco. Roach opens the pack of baloney
and pulls out a slice.
ROACH
(nervous whisper)
Here, Cheeco. Chee-co, here boy. That's
a good boy.
It's pitch-black behind the fence, still no Cheeco.
PARKED CAR - SAME TIME
Craig makes a move.
CRAIG
Come on, he should have'em by now.
Day-Day follows.
DAY-DAY
Hurry up. He didn't have that much
baloney.
They sneak up to the side of the house. The MUSIC is
BLEEDING THROUGH the walls.
INSIDE HOUSE
Li'l Joker is dancing with all 3 girls. They're all getting
high and feeling good. One girl has come out of her blouse.
The others start to follow her lead.
LI'L JOKER
(yelling towards bedroom)
Hey, homes, you guys better hurry up!
I'mma get greedy.
BACK OUTSIDE
Craig and Day-Day are peeking through the window. Craig
moves on. Day-Day is still watching.
DAY-DAY
(to himself)
Look at those tig-ole-bitties
Craig snatches him from the window. They walk over to the
fence.
CRAIG
You go first.
DAY-DAY
Naw, you go first.
CRAIG
You go first.
DAY-DAY
No.
CRAIG
Day-Day, if you don't hop that fence
I'mma throw you over.
DAY-DAY
I ain't scared of you. We ain't little
no more.
Day-Day gets ready to fight.
CRAIG
What?
Craig jumps like he's going to hit him. Day-Day jumps back
and almost falls.
DAY-DAY
I hope to God that dog is happy.
CRAIG
Me too.
ROACH
...is having no luck. Cheeco is nowhere to be found. Roach
starts to sing.
ROACH
My baloney has a first name. It's C-h-e-
e-c-o.
We hear a MEAN GROWL out of the darkness. Roach continues.
ROACH (cont'd)
My baloney has a second name it just like
the first Cheeco.
GROWLING gets LOWDER.
ROACH (cont'd)
Ooooohhhh I love to eat it everyday if
you ask me what I'll say.
We can hear TINY FOOTSTEPS RUNNING at Roach.
ROACH (cont'd)
Cheeco's got to be the dumbest fuckin'
mutt in the whole wide U.S.A.
CHEECO is running at Roach full speed. He jumps on the fence
and starts to BARK with everything he's got. Roach drops the
baloney.
CRAIG AND DAY-DAY
...hear the DOG BARKING and freeze in their tracks. Day-Day
tries to run. Craig grabs him, again.
CRAIG
Wait.
DAY-DAY
(loud whisper)
Wait for what?
A LOT of BARKING. Nothing coming.
CRAIG
He's still over by Roach.
ROACH
...picks up the baloney and stuffs the whole pack into his
mouth. CHEECO is SILENCED. Roach is relieved.
INSIDE JOKER'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
The chrome pump is open and filled with money. Baby Joker's
pulling out the money while Joker sits on the bed counting
it. They stop when they hear CHEECO BARKING.
BABY JOKER
Want me to take a look?
JOKER
No, keep working.
In the mirror behind Joker, we see a stick slide through the
curtain. The curtain cracks just enough to see Craig's eye
looking in.
Just then, Li'l Joker bursts through the door with his shirt
off and two half-naked girls on his arms.
LI'L JOKER
Yo, man fuck that shit. Do it later.
It's Friday, time to party, SA.
JOKER
Close the door.
LI'L JOKER
Not until you come party with us, man.
Baby Joker looks at the girls, then at Joker.
JOKER
Alright, put it in that drawer.
Joker hands Baby Joker the money. He puts it away. They
start to exit the room.
OUTSIDE JOKER'S BEDROOM WINDOW - CONTINUOUS
Craig is still looking. Day-Day is scared shitless. He's
looking for Cheeco.
DAY-DAY
(whispering)
What you see?
CRAIG
That pump was full of money. I saw where
they put it. Stay right here, I'mma
climb in and go get it.
DAY-DAY
Wait here? So Cheeco can bite my ass
off? Tell me where it is I'll do it.
CRAIG
No, man, just wait.
Craig climbs in the window. Day-Day holds his stomach.
DAY-DAY
I got the B-G's.
ROACH
... his meat supply is almost gone. He tries to think fast.
Cheeco starts to look for more meat. Roach grabs the smashed
brownie out of his pocket and throws it to Cheeco. He
swallows it in one big gulp. He's looking for more. There
is no more. Roach smiles. CHEECO GROWLS.
ROACH
Good boy. Nice dog.
CHEECO'S STILL GROWLING. Suddenly Cheeco falls back on his
butt and lets out a slight moan.
CHEECO'S POV
Cheeco is looking up at Roach. He's seeing double, even
triple. Cheeco lays down. It looks like he's faded.
ROACH
No lungs, baby. No lungs.
INSIDE JOKER'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
Craig is in. The bedroom door is cracked. Craig walks over
and shuts the door gently. He locks it. Then he creeps over
to the dresser. He pulls out the pump and sets it on the
bed. He opens it, revealing all the bundled-up money packed
in. He starts to stuff it in his pockets.
OUTSIDE JOKER'S BEDROOM WINDOW - CONTINUOUS
Day-Day is trying to keep his composure.
INT. DEN - CONTINUOUS
The SA brothers are having a good time. Joker is getting
nasty with one of the Girls. He pulls her by the hand.
GIRL #2
No.
JOKER
Fuck that.
Joker picks her up and carries her to the bedroom. She
screams. He laughs. He goes for the door. It's locked.
JOKER (cont'd)
Who locked this door?
Everybody looks confused.
JOKER (cont'd)
Who locked this fuckin' door?!
Joker starts to kick the door.
INSIDE JOKER'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
Craig hurries to put the pump back. He's about to go for the
window when: BANG! There's a KICK on the door. All Craig
can do is go for another door on the other side of the room.
BANG! The door flies open and Craig is out there just in
time.
JOKER
I don't want no doors locked around here.
You hear me?
Joker walks in and hits the lights. He throws the girl on
the bed.
GIRL #2
Oh, poppy, I like it rough.
JOKER
(taking off shirt)
Good, 'cause that's how you gonna get it.
INT. JOKER'S HOUSE - STAIRWAY - CONTINUOUS
Baby Joker has his back turned when we see Craig sprint
behind him and up the stairs. Baby Joker turns around. He
thinks he saw something. He slowly starts to walk up the
stairs.
LI'L JOKER
Karla!
INT. KARLA'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Karla is in her room working out. Craig runs in. He's
shocked to see her. She doesn't see him, but he's frozen.
Then she turns around and he startles her.
KARLA
What are you doing?
Think fast, Craig.
CRAIG
Huh?
KARLA
What are you doing here?
CRAIG
I hope you don't think I'm crazy, but I
just had to come in here and show you I
ain't scared of yo' punk ass
brothers...and you wouldn't have be
scared of 'em neither if you had a man
like me in yo' life.
KARLA
What?? So you snuck in my room to tell
me that?
CRAIG
Yes I did. Excuse me.
Her door flies open. Smashing Craig behind it. It's Li'l
Joker.
LI'L JOKER
Who you talking to?
Craig looks nervous.
KARLA
Nobody.
LI'L JOKER
I heard a voice.
KARLA
No you didn't. Get out my room. Go back
down to your little girlfriends.
Karla pushes Li'l Joker out.
OUTSIDE JOKER'S BEDROOM WINDOW - CONTINUOUS
Day-Day is having a fit.
GIRL #2 (O.S.)
Shut the window.
JOKER (O.S.)
You shut the window.
She does.
DAY-DAY
Oh shit.
Day-Day takes off. He hops the fence in record speed.
CHEECO
...is laying on his back looking through the fence. He's
calm and cool now.
OTHER SIDE
Roach is on his back looking through the fence. He hits a
joint and blows the smoke into Cheeco's face.
ROACH
...like I was saying. A guy like me, and
a dog like you, don't need this bullshit.
We need to be in Maui renting jet ski to
fat funks in flower shirts. You feel me,
C?
Cheeco is passed out. Day-Day sneaks around the corner. He
whispers.
DAY-DAY
Roach...Roach, come on.
ROACH
Where's Craig?
DAY-DAY
He's inside the house?
ROACH
Why did he go in the house?
DAY-DAY
Don't worry about it. We gotta figure
out a way to get Craig out of there.
He's probably getting tied up now.
INT. KARLA'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Craig is sweating. Karla is standing in front of him.
KARLA
You did all this for me?
CRAIG
Most of it. I just hate to see you in
this situation.
KARLA
Thanks for noticing. It used ta be
peaceful before they got out. Took over
the house and caused my mother's nervous
breakdown.
CRAIG
Why didn't she put'em out?
KARLA
Easier said than done. We saved up to
get away from them, but they followed us.
CRAIG
I'm sorry to hear that.
Craig walks over to the window.
CRAIG (cont'd)
Can I get out this way?
Karla walks up behind him, looking very sexy.
KARLA
I thought you came up here to see me.
Craig turns around.
CRAIG
I did. Is that door locked?
KARLA
It's locked.
CRAIG
Make sure.
Karla turns around to check the door.
KARLA
You so nervous, I already locked this
door.
Craig drops a thick roll of money into her purse. She shakes
the knob.
KARLA (cont'd)
See. All locked.
She walks over to him. They're face-to-face.
KARLA (cont'd)
What's your hurry?
CRAIG
I got my cousin Day-Day waiting for me.
KARLA
(getting even closer)
So what? Let's make'em wait.
Craig looks AT the CAMERA.
CRAIG
I be damn.
EXT. JOKER'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Day-Day and Roach are at Joker's front door.
DAY-DAY
You wanna knock?
ROACH
Go for it.
Day-Day knocks real soft. Too soft.
ROACH (cont'd)
No one's gonna hear that. The music's
playing.
DAY-DAY
'Scuse me, partner, but that's a ghetto
knock.
ROACH
This is a knock.
Roach starts to kick on the door with his foot. It's very
loud.
INT. DEN - CONTINUOUS
Joker storms in with the AK. Li'l Joker is in the corner
with his girl, and Baby Joker is on the floor. Joker TURNS
DOWN THE STEREO.
JOKER
You fuckin' lover boys hear that?
BABY JOKER
Hear what?
The KNOCKING continues. Li'l Joker and Baby Joker push the
girls aside and jump up. Li'l Joker grabs a big knife. Baby
Joker grabs a 9mm. Joker looks at the girls.
JOKER
Don't fuckin' move.
They won't. The brothers run to the door.
OUTSIDE
Roach is still kicking.
DAY-DAY
What's wrong with you, fool. Stop
kicking their door. They might think we
the police.
The front door swings open and before we know it. Day-Day's
got an AK pointed in his face, and Roach is looking at a 9
close up.
JOKER
What the fuck you want?
Day-Day's tongue doesn't work.
DAY-DAY
Uh...um...I mean uh, can we borrow a cup
of sugar?
JOKER
What?! This look like a 7-11 or
something? Get the fuck outta here!
DAY-DAY
(starts to leave)
Alright, no problem. We gone.
ROACH
Hold on. A man, you broke my fuckin'
board and I don't appreciate it.
Immediately Day-Day and Roach are snatched inside the house,
and the door is SLAMMED.
EXT. UNCLE ELROY'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Mr. Jones' dog truck pulls to a stop. He gets out and runs
to the house. He KNOCKS. Uncle Elroy answers. Suga is
looking over his shoulder.
MR. JONES
I got your message. Where's Craig?
UNCLE ELROY
I don't know, I didn't leave you no damn
message!
MR. JONES
You didn't call the Sandwich Joint with a
urgent message?
UNCLE ELROY
Hell naw, Willie. Them fleas and tics
must be sucking on yo' brain!
MR. JONES
Somebody left me a message. Well where's
Craig and Day-Day?
UNCLE ELROY
I don't know. Suga, go ask Miss Ho Kym
if she seen them.
EXT. KARLA'S BEDROOM WINDOW - CONTINUOUS
Craig is about to climb out the window.
KARLA
Next time, page me first.
CRAIG
Okay.
Craig climbs out the window. He loses his footing and free
falls into some bushes.
KARLA
You alright?
CRAIG
Yeah, I'm cool. See you later.
He runs past a sleeping Cheeco and hops the fence. Free at
last. He's about to run back across the street when he sees
the dog truck.
CRAIG (cont'd)
What is he doing here?
Craig ducks back.
INT. JOKER'S HOUSE - DEN - NIGHT
Day-Day and Roach are sitting on a couch looking nervous.
The Joker brothers hold guns on them. The three half-dressed
Mexican Girls look a bit scared themselves.
DAY-DAY
Look, man, this is a big
misunderstanding. All we wanted to do is
borrow some sugar.
ROACH
And some rolling papers.
DAY-DAY
...and some rolling papers, that's it.
We didn't mean to mess up y'all get
together or nothing.
(to the Girls)
How y'all doing?
They answer --
GIRLS
Fine.
DAY-DAY
That's good. My name's Day-Day and this
is my friend, Roach.
ROACH
(waving)
Hey.
DAY-DAY
Ya'll live around here?
JOKER
Shut up! Both of you right now!
DAY-DAY
(to Roach)
Shhhh! Roach, shut the fuck up.
JOKER
I don't believe this sugar shit.
Something ain't right.
Joker thinks for a moment. Then he turns to Baby Joker.
JOKER (cont'd)
(in Spanish)
Go check on the money.
Baby Joker obeys the order.
LI'L JOKER
Here comes Karla, put the guns away.
JOKER
Keep your mouth shut.
Karla walks back in.
KARLA
Hey, what's going on?
JOKER
Nothing. What you want?
KARLA
Are you going to take me to see Mom?
JOKER
Take your car.
KARLA
'Take your car?'
JOKER
Yeah, and hurry up.
Karla doesn't believe it.
KARLA
Okay.
She grabs the keys off the bar.
KARLA (cont'd)
I'll be back in a bit. 'Bye.
She's out the door. Joker turns to Day-Day and Roach.
JOKER
If everything's alright. We might let
you leave, too.
EXT. UNCLE ELROY'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
The front door swings open. It's Uncle Elroy.
UNCLE ELROY
Craig, where the hell you been?
Mr. Jones pops up. So does Suga and Miss Ho Kym.
MR. JONES
Hold up, Elroy, that's my boy. Craig,
what the hell wrong with you? Where you
been?
CRAIG
Have you seen Day-Day?
UNCLE ELROY
No. Thought he was with you.
CRAIG
Daddy, Uncle Elroy, I need your help.
He steps in the house and closes the door behind him.
INT. JOKER'S HOUSE - DEN - NIGHT
It's the same scene as before. Two angry Mexicans, three
half-naked Girls, plus Day-Day and Roach in the middle. Baby
Joker returns.
BABY JOKER
(in Spanish)
Some of the money is missing.
JOKER
(upset)
What?!?!
DAY-DAY
What?!
(as he looks at Roach)
What that mean?
ROACH
I don't know.
JOKER
It means you Miyateas are staying with
us.
(to Baby Joker)
Get the duct tape.
(to Li'l Joker)
You know what to do.
Li'l Joker turns to the girls.
LI'L JOKER
Put your clothes back on.
The scared Girls start to dress.
EXT. JOKER'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Karla backs up the rider and she's out. The Joker house
looks quiet. Then the door opens and three Girls walk out.
LI'L JOKER
Sorry you gotta walk, but I'll call you
tomorrow.
The Girls take off down the street. The porch lights go out.
INT. UNCLE ELROY'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Craig, Mr. Jones, Uncle Elroy, Suga and Miss Ho Kym are
peeking out the window.
CRAIG
You see that?
MR. JONES
I saw it.
UNCLE ELROY
Me, too. You think they're in there?
CRAIG
Yup.
MISS HO KYM
Why for? Them boys are real player
haters.
CRAIG
It's a long story. Right now we gotta do
somethin'.
MR. JONES
You come way out here to get into more
trouble. You could've stayed at home.
UNCLE ELROY
Willie, shut up. Yo' old ass need to get
in a little bit o' trouble sometimes.
MR. JONES
(rolling up his sleeve)
Don't get it twisted, Elroy. I ain't
lost none of my street skills.
SUGA
If ya'll don't come back not in ten
minutes, I'mma callin' the po'lice.
Craig, Uncle Elroy and Mr. Jones are about to go on a
mission.
UNCLE ELROY
Wait a minute. I gotta go get my shit.
Uncle Elroy runs upstairs.
INT. JOKER'S HOUSE - DEN - CONTINUOUS
Li'l Joker is almost finished duct-taping Day-Day and Roach.
Baby Joker holds the AK. Joker paces the floor. Day-Day and
Roach try to make peace by singing an old "War" song. Day-
Day is serious.
DAY-DAY & ROACH
'Why can't we be friends? Why can't we
be friends? Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?'...
DAY-DAY
(still singing)
'I hope my cousin call the C.I.A.'
Joker throws a BOTTLE against the wall. It SHATTERS into a
million pieces.
JOKER
Shut the fuck up!
The singing stops.
JOKER (cont'd)
If you don't tell me where my money is,
I'mma show you how close we can get.
DAY-DAY
Money? Man, we came over here from some
sugar and rolling papers. We was going
to get high, and I was going to show this
white boy how to make Kool-Aid. That's
all.
ROACH
Hey, mister Joker, have a heart, bro.
It's Friday.
Joker walks over to Roach and kicks him in the mouth.
JOKER
I'm hearing a lot of talking, but I'm not
hearing the right words.
BABY JOKER
Maybe the other guy took it.
DAY-DAY
Why would he take it? He don't even know
you.
JOKER
(thinking)
Shut up! Where's that other miyatea?
EXT. JOKER'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Uncle Elroy catches up with Craig and Mr. Jones on the side
of Joker's house. He has a big chrome .357 magnum.
CRAIG
That's a nice piece of heat right there.
UNCLE ELROY
Thank you. I only got two bullets in the
mothafucka, but it's better than nothing.
MR. JONES
Two bullets? Yo' ass ain't changed.
Back in the day, all I had was a stick.
CRAIG
Come on.
They sneak over to the fence.
UNCLE ELROY
What about that ugly dog?
MR. JONES
I got my mase.
CRAIG
He's on the other side, sleep.
They start to hop the fence.
ON CHEECO
...starts to awake. He tries to stand up and stumbles back
on his face. He lets out ANOTHER MOAN.
ON CRAIG AND UNCLE ELROY
Craig is over the fence. Mr. Jones is over But Uncle Elroy
is having a little trouble.
CRAIG (cont'd)
Need some help?
MR. JONES
Need to lose some weight.
UNCLE ELROY
Shut yo' ass up.
Uncle Elroy falls off the fence.
UNCLE ELROY (cont'd)
Damn.
Craig & Mr. Jones helps him up. They creep over to the
window - the shades are pulled down.
CRAIG
I'm not sure, but I think they're in this
room.
INT. JOKER'S HOUSE - DEN - CONTINUOUS
Joker is getting tired of the games. And Day-Day is pleading
for his life.
JOKER
Tape his mouth shut.
DAY-DAY
Joker, a man like yourself can do a lot
for this community. By letting us go,
you can improve black and brown
relations.
ROACH
Yeah, brown and white relations, too.
Day-Day looks at Roach.
DAY-DAY
Boy, you gonna get us killed.
Li'l Joker grabs Day-Day and tapes his mouth shut. He does
the same to Roach.
JOKER
I'm sick and tired of bullshitting with
you guys.
(in Spanish)
Baby brother, go get the chainsaw.
Baby Joker hands him the AK and he's gone. Day-Day and Roach
look terrified. Everything has turned serious.
INT. MR. JONES' DOG TRUCK - CONTINUOUS
Debo and Ezal are still asleep. Debo wakes first.
DEBO
Ezal! Ezal!
EZAL
Huh?
DEBO
We must be here 'cause we stopped.
EZAL
Good, let's get out.
They both try to get out. But it's no way to get out from
the inside.
DEBO
Hey, how you get out of here.
EZAL
I don't know.
They both start to go nuts on the door.
OUTSIDE
The dog truck is shaking like crazy.
EXT. JOKER'S BACKYARD - CONTINUOUS
Baby Joker walks out the back door. He stops in the middle
of the yard.
BABY JOKER
Cheeco! Cheeco! Here, boy!
No Cheeco. He continues to a shed in the back yard. He goes
inside and picks up a chainsaw. On his way out the shed,
he's slapped in the face with a "Big Ass Stick." Mr. Jones
is working the handle.
Baby Joker is out cold. Mr. Jones stands over him.
MR. JONES
Nigga, you got knock the fuck out.
CRAIG
Yeah, pops!
UNCLE ELROY
Damn, big bro. You swung that like Sammy
Sosa.
MR. JONES
The skills are still intact. Now tie his
ass up, Elroy.
He does.
INT. JOKER'S HOUSE - DEN - CONTINUOUS
The terror continues.
JOKER
My little brother went out to get my
chainsaw. I'mma show you what happens to
fools who don't tell me what I wanna
hear. You ever see Scarface, mothafucka?
Day-Day starts to cry. Roach tries to scream through the
tape. Joker turns to Li'l Joker.
JOKER (cont'd)
Go see what's taking him so long.
Li'l Joker obeys. We FOLLOW Li'l Joker THROUGH the house and
OUT the back door.
EXT. JOKER'S BACKYARD - CONTINUOUS
Li'l Joker stands at the back door.
LI'L JOKER
Junior?! Junior?!
No answer. Suddenly he spots something over by the shed.
It's Baby Joker all ties up.
LI'L JOKER (cont'd)
What the...
He runs to the rescue. But right before he gets to him,
Uncle Elroy jumps out the bushes and takes him. "Ronnie Lott
Style." Mr. Jones steps in with the stick. Craig steps in
with the rope, and it's over. Uncle Elroy's hurt. It's his
back.
UNCLE ELROY
(in pain)
My back.
MR. JONES
What's the matter?
UNCLE ELROY
I slip my disc, again... Oh got damn.
Craig goes to assist Uncle Elroy.
CRAIG
Stretch it out.
UNCLE ELROY
Don't move me.
INT. JOKER'S HOUSE - DEN - CONTINUOUS
Joker is pissed.
JOKER
Where are these fucking guys?
He storms out the room. Day-Day and Roach try to escape.
They flap around on the ground like a fish out of water.
EXT. JOKER'S BACKYARD - CONTINUOUS
The back door flies open. Joker appears with the AK-47 in
hand. He spots Uncle Elroy in the middle of the yard bent
over. He lifts the AK.
JOKER
What you doing here?
UNCLE ELROY
I lost something, nigga. What it look
like?
JOKER
Looks like a dead man.
Out of nowhere, Craig hits Joker from the back. He flies one
way and the gun flies another. Now it's really on! Hand-to-
hand combat. Craig vs. Joker. Right vs. wrong. Good vs.
evil. You know how it go.
MR. JONES
Go to the body, Craig! Go to the body!
INT. JOKER'S HOUSE - DEN - CONTINUOUS
Day-Day and Roach have made it a little further to the door,
but they still look like fish searching for H2O. Uncle Elroy
stumbles in. He grabs a knife and starts to cut them loose.
UNCLE ELROY
Boy, Day-Day, I'mma kick yo' ass for
getting me into this mess and hurting my
back! I moved out here to get away from
this kinda shit!
EXT. JOKER'S BACKYARD - CONTINUOUS
Fight's still on. Craig is giving Joker the ass-whipping he
deserves when Uncle Elroy, Day-Day and Roach reach the back
porch.
DAY-DAY
Get 'em, Craig!
ROACH
Bite his ear!
UNCLE ELROY
What 'em! Watch 'em!
Joker takes a few more shots from Craig, then grabs Craig
around the waist and slams him to the ground. Craig is hurt.
UNCLE ELROY (cont'd)
Get off yo' back, Craig!
Craig struggles with Joker, who now has the devil in his
eyes.
CRAIG
Ya'll mothafuckas help me!
Day-Day and Roach look at each other. They rush to Craig's
aide. Joker spots them coming, he also spots the AK.
In SLOW MOTION, Day-Day and Roach dive on Joker...at the same
time Joker dives for the AK. Day-Day and Roach land on top
of Craig and our trio try to hurry to their feet. But as
soon as they get up, they're looking down the barrel of an AK-
47.
JOKER
(smiling)
Say hello to my little friend.
BOOM!
Debo hits Joker from the back. Joker is out cold.
DEBO
No way, Jose. This one is mine.
Ezal picks up the gun and hands it to Debo.
DEBO (cont'd)
Hi, Craig, remember me?
Craig knows he can't fight a gun. Everybody is helpless. We
can hear SIRENS getting CLOSER and CLOSER. Suddenly, out of
nowhere...
CHEECO!
The pitbull is back! And he's mad as hell. He runs through
everybody and jumps on Debo, knocking the gun from his hand.
Craig and Day-Day jump on Debo. Roach WHISTLES, and Cheeco
stops his attack on Debo.
Cheeco runs over to Roach and jumps in his arms. Roach's
being licked to death by the pitbull.
DAY-DAY
Finally you got a bitch, huh, Roach?
ROACH
He's a boy, dude.
EXT. JOKER'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Out front, three sheriff cars swoop into the driveway. The
cops jump out, guns drawn.
EXT. JOKER'S BACKYARD - CONTINUOUS
Debo and Ezal are tied up next to the Jokers.
EZAL
Mr. Jones, we was just playin'. He made
me do it.
Mr. Jones don't wanna hear it. Craig runs into the house.
Uncle, Day-Day, Roach and Cheeco look at the five on the
ground...it's over, or is it?
SHERIFF #3
Freeze, Sheriff's Department!
The SHERIFFS are on our heroes, guns drawn.
UNCLE ELROY
Wait a minute! I live across the street!
SHERIFF LADY
You do?
UNCLE ELROY
Yeah. Paid cash.
DAY-DAY
They the ones you want.
EXT. UNCLE ELROY'S STREET - CONTINUOUS
Red and Blue lights flash through the neighborhood. Everyone
is out their door looking at the action. The suburbs is
starting to look like the ghetto for real.
Uncle Elroy is bent over.
UNCLE ELROY
When my back gets better I'mma beat the
black off you, Day-Day.
DAY-DAY
I know. I'm sorry.
UNCLE ELROY
Sorry, my ass.
Suga and Miss Ho Kym come running.
SUGA
Elroy, what happen?
UNCLE ELROY
I threw my back, again.
SUGA
Aw, no lovin' tonight?
UNCLE ELROY
Naw, baby, no lovin' tonight.
SUGA
Come on, baby, let's go in the house.
UNCLE ELROY
For what? We ain't gonna have no house
after the auction tomorrow!
Everyone is sad.
ROACH
Don't worry, bro, you, Suga, Day-Day and
Craig can live with me and my parents.
'Til you get back on yo' feet.
UNCLE ELROY
Thanks, Roach, but I can't accept that.
We're moving back to Watts where it's
safe.
DAY-DAY
Where's Craig?
UNCLE ELROY
I don't know.
MR. JONES
That boy just don't never learn.
EXT. JOKER'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Craig steps out of Joker's front door carrying the chrome
hydraulic pump.
CRAIG
I love Fridays.
He walks past the cops and crosses the street.
ROACH
There he go.
MR. JONES
What the hell is he carrying?
DAY-DAY
Property taxes, and a new candy-apple
paint job.
They greet Craig and all start to walk towards the house.
INT. UNCLE ELROY'S STREET - NIGHT
The "Jefferson's" theme song, "Movin' On Up," PLAYS on the
TV. Uncle Elroy is face down on the floor looking at the TV.
Miss Ho Kym walks on his back with her shoes off. He moans
in pleasure. Mr. Jones eats chicken wings.
MR. JONES
Jump up and down on him.
MISS HO KYM
That's next.
UNCLE ELROY
Don't listen to him. How much we got?
Suga is at the table counting money. She takes a few
hundreds for herself.
SUGA
We got forty-seven thousand, three
hundred and fifteen dollars.
MR. JONES
Good Lord.
MISS HO KYM
That's a whole lot of scrilla.
UNCLE ELROY
It's gonna feel good to pay my taxes.
Craig is tending to his wounds.
CRAIG
You're welcome, Unc.
DAY-DAY
What about me?
UNCLE ELROY
You didn't do nothing.
Roach and Cheeco are about to leave. He has a handful of
money.
ROACH
Hey, guys, I'm outta here.
DAY-DAY
Thanks for the help.
ROACH
Hey, man, the pleasure's all mine.
Thanks for the dog, and the money. Maybe
my dad won't kick my ass tonight.
DAY-DAY
Call me.
ROACH
Okay, later, bro. Hey, Craig, nice
smokin' wit'cha.
CRAIG
You too.
MR. JONES
Smokin' what?
CRAIG
Nothing.
ROACH
Later, Mr. Jones. Bye, Suga.
ALL
Bye, Roach.
Roach is gone. Day-Day shuts the door. Miss Ho Kym is
finished. She steps off of Uncle Elroy.
MISS HO KYM
All done. Stand up.
Uncle Elroy gets up. He's better.
UNCLE ELROY
Hey, that George Jefferson shit works.
Thanks, Miss Kym.
Uncle Elroy walks over to the table and grabs a stack of
hundred-dollar bills. He hands it to Miss Ho Kym.
MISS HO KYM
I can't accept.
UNCLE ELROY
You better take this money.
She takes the money.
MISS HO KYM
(in Korean)
Thank you.
(in English)
I can take a trip back to Korea now.
Find a freak daddy, bring him back to
America. Make 'em my bitch.
SUGA
You go, girl.
Uncle Elroy helps Miss Ho Kym out the door.
MR. JONES
Well, we better hit the road, too.
Craig, get your stuff.
UNCLE ELROY
Well, Craig, you're welcome anytime.
Suga hugs Craig.
SUGA
Yeah, baby, it's a shame you leavin'.
Aunt Suga gonna miss yo.
And the others have to agree.
DAY-DAY
You sure you don't wanna stay?
CRAIG
Naw, I'm got live ghetto fabulous. make
sure you get that car fixed.
DAY-DAY
I will. When can I come visit?
CRAIG
I don't know. Probably next Friday.
They're out the door.
EXT. UNCLE ELROY'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
As we PULL BACK, all is well inside and outside Uncle Elroy's
house. The suburbs are back to normal. They get in the car.
Craig looks over at the Joker's house.
ANGLE ON JOKER'S HOUSE
Karla pulls up in the low-rider. They lock eyes and she
blows him a kiss. He gives her a wink. They pull off. She
goes in the house.
CRAIG (V.O.)
Well, all's well that ends well. Another
Friday gone. Another problem solved.
It's a trip to know that things can get
crazy in the suburbs, too. I can't wait
to get back home...to the peace and quiet
streets of South Central.
D'Wana's car pulls INTO FRAME. She stops in front of Uncle
Elroy's house. Baby'D jumps out with a brick. She throws it
through the back window of Day-Day's BMW. She jumps back in
and they're gone...
THE END.
|
| Next Friday
Writers : Ice Cube
Genres : Comedy
User Comments
|
| 
