STARGATE SG1
Episode 709
"AVENGER 2.0"
By
Paul Mullie & Joseph Mallozzi
SGC - Felger's Lab Jay Felger and his assistant Chloe are present.
Felger is pacing as he awaits Major Carter's arrival. Chloe is
walking around a large beam generator while Jay is looking expectantly
out the door.
FELGER
What time is it?
CHLOE
It's two minutes past the last time
you asked me.
FELGER
(moving to make last minute adjustments
on something closer to Chloe) Oh, she
should be here any second.
CHLOE
Relax, Jay.
FELGER
Relax? We're on the verge of a major
scientific breakthrough. This...this
weapon could be the-the key factor in
our fight against the Goa'uld.
CHLOE
Is it defeating the Goa'uld you're worried
about or impressing Major Carter?
FELGER
Hey...unlike some people in this room,
I've seen what the Goa'uld can do, first
hand.
CHLOE
(sighs) Yes, I know...you've told me
a thousand times. You rescued SG-1 from
the evil 'Lord What's-His-Name'.
FELGER
Her'ak. And he wasn't an evil lord.
He was a first prime.
CHLOE
Jay...you're a brilliant scientist.
Someday you're going to win the Nobel
prize. What do you care what these military
types think of you anyway?
FELGER
You don't get it. You know, when you've
stood side by side with someone and
stared into the face of death, it creates
an unspoken bond, an understanding that
transcends simple friendship. Colonel
O'Neill and I have been to hell and
back together. When the mission was
over, he looked me in the eye and do
you know what he said to me? He said...
O'NEILL
(interrupting from behind) Is this gonna
take long?
Jack and Sam come in through the door Felger was watching earlier.
He had turned his back on it and he is now surprised by the two
of them.
FELGER
Colonel O'Neill...
O'NEILL
Folger?
FELGER
Felger...I-I w-wasn't expecting you,
sir.
O'NEILL
Yes...well, Major Carter said this was
important.
Jack reaches out to touch the end of the beam generator. Felger
stops him.
FELGER
D-d-d-d-don't touch. Don't touch...don't
touch...please. This is a finely calibrated
device. It fires a focused plasma pulse...
(he imitates the beam complete with
sound as he moves toward the target
and then opens his arms wide in front
of the target) Boom!
He chuckles a little and shakes his head as he walks back to
the beam generator. Jack looks at Sam for an explanation.
CARTER
It's an energy-based weapon, sir. It
could, potentially, replace the missiles
on the X-303.
O'NEILL
(Thinks on that for a minute, then)
Phaser?
CHLOE
More like a photon torpedo.
FELGER
My assistant, Chloe. (Then he hands
safety glasses to Sam and Jack.) There
you are.
O'NEILL
(Acknowledging the introduction) Chloe...
FELGER
This is all based on a Goa'uld design...and
if you'll join me to the rear of the
weapon...we will proceed with the demonstration.
(Sam and Jack comply and the four are
soon behind the weapon. Felger picks
up two electrical cords and prepared
to plug them into each other.) My friends,
I present to you... (he chuckles) ...the
22nd century.
He plugs the two cords together. There is a spark at the plug.
The weapon lights up and begins to whine. It sounds like it is
overloading. Sparks fly from the weapon. Sam ducks a little.
Chloe ducks more. Then, the lights go out in the lab...and then
in a corridor as people are walking...and then in Hammonds' office
as he's typing on his laptop. Seconds later, the emergency power
kicks in. Smoke and sparks are still coming from the weapon.
FELGER
That wasn't supposed to happen.
OPENING CREDITS
SGC - Level 27 Hammond and Felger are walking out of the elevator
and Sam is not far behind.
FELGER
I know, but I am really, really, really
sorry, General and I can assure you
that nothing like this will ever happen
again.
HAMMOND
You're damn right it won't because I'm
pulling the plug on your research.
FELGER
No-no, no-no-no, please, this was just
a minor glitch - minor glitch...I mean,
we are so close to a working prototype...
HAMMOND
You've been saying that for the last
six months. In fact, I've been reviewing
your records. It seems that most of
the projects you've overseen during
your tenure here have been similarly
long on promise and short on results.
FELGER
Right...what-what exactly are you saying?
HAMMOND
I'm saying it may be time for the Air
Force to rethink your position here.
FELGER
Okay, you know...that-that would be
a mistake...because, um...I - you know,
it just so happens that-that I'm working
on a, uh, a line of research, and it's,
uh, it's...it's, uh, yeah, well, really
I'm on the verge of a major break-through,
really.
HAMMOND
Really?
FELGER
Really, yes, yes...and it's - it's gonna
be HUGE! Huge, this thing...and-and
it's gonna make the plasma weapon look
like a squirt gun...sir.
CARTER
What is it?
FELGER
Hmm?
CARTER
What is it?
FELGER
What is it? It's-it's, uh, well, really,
you know, I-I'm not ready for a formal
presentation just yet. You know, I still
gotta...you know, crunch a few numbers
and dot a few i's and...I could probably
have something ready for you by the,
uh, en-end of next week.
HAMMOND
You have 24 hours.
FELGER
More than enough time.
He starts to leave and then turns back to salute Hammond.
HAMMOND
Dismissed.
FELGER
Thank you.
BACK IN HIS LAB
Chloe is not happy.
CHLOE
What were you thinking?
FELGER
I don't know! I had to say something.
They were going to fire me. Besides,
what's the big deal? All we have to
do is think of something that's going
to change the balance of power in the
galaxy by noon tomorrow.
CHLOE
You have anything in mind?
FELGER
(looks worried for a second...then smiles)
As a matter of fact, I do...Avenger.
CHLOE
You've got to be kidding.
FELGER
No, it's perfect!
CHLOE
It's no where near ready! It's just
an idea!
FELGER
We can make it work...
CHLOE
Oh, Jay...this is exactly your problem.
You try so hard to impress people that
you always bite off more than you can
chew.
FELGER
Okay. Yes, you're right. I have to start
setting more realistic goals for myself.
(He pauses, she nods.) Right after this
project. Okay?
He sits down at his computer and starts typing.
Later, in a corridor of the SGC, Sam and Felger are walking.
She is holding a file.
CARTER
A computer virus?
FELGER
Yeah...see, when you think about it,
the-the 'gate network is nothing more
than a bunch of linked computers. I
mean, delivering the virus is as simple
as dialing the target 'gate and uploading
the program.
CARTER
The virus would then scramble the DHD's
established coordinates.
FELGER
Yeah, so the symbols no longer correspond
with the proper coordinates, you see?
(he chuckles) It's like rearranging
the letters on your keyboard.
CARTER
Then the target 'gate would be useless.
FELGER
Yeah, I mean, sure, the Goa'uld have
ships, but...you know, they-they still
rely heavily on 'gate travel and that
would be a real tactical advantage for
us, don't you think? What do you think?
CARTER
(looking at the papers in the file)
It's interesting...
FELGER
Really?
CARTER
But you don't have a finished program.
FELGER
(stops walking, Sam continues to walk)
Uh, well, uh, finished... (moves to
catch up with her again) ...not finished,
per se, no. Uh, but I really still have
to, you know, just...
CARTER
(interrupting) ...crunch a few numbers,
dot a few i's?
FELGER
...i's...that's really it. Exactly,
yeah.
CARTER
Well, I'll take a look at it. If it
shows promise, I'll...take it to General
Hammond.
FELGER
Oh, yes! Okay...
CARTER
Whoa, whoa...don't celebrate just yet.
This is far from a done deal.
FELGER
No, no. Of course not, of course not.
Sam continues on her way. Felger waits until she disappears from
view, then peeks his head around the corner. When he's sure she's
gone, he turns and pumps his fists.
FELGER
(excited whispers) Yes! Yes! (Giggles
as he walks off screen - then seconds
later appears back on screen, looking
around) Where am I? How'd she get me
here? He walks off screen again.
SGC - 'Gate Room The wormhole is active. We see Sam, Jack & Teal'c
walk into the room. Jack and Teal'c are geared up. Sam is not.
Hammond is at the base of the ramp waiting for them.
O'NEILL
So, you'd rather stay here and geek
out some computer program than come
with us, huh?
CARTER
Don't take it personally, sir. I just
think this research shows a lot of promise.
O'NEILL
It's Felger... (he pronounces this with
a soft g sound...)
CARTER
He did save our lives, Colonel.
O'NEILL
Yeah, don't remind me.
TEAL'C
The ability to disable any 'gate we
choose could prove to be a valuable
weapon in our struggle against the Goa'uld.
O'NEILL
If it works...
CARTER
That's what I intend to find out.
O'NEILL
Don't forget your safety glasses. (Then
turns to several soldiers who have just
entered the room and are moving in behind
him.) Marines...thanks for joining us.
Let's move out.
HAMMOND
To be honest, Major, I share come of
the Colonel's skepticism.
CARTER
I know Dr. Felger's record is a little
sketchy, sir. But I still think he shows
a lot of potential. All he needs is
a little support.
Felger's Motel Room We see a miniature Stargate scene, complete
with model trees, model Stargate and model soldiers. Then we
see Felger looking through a magnifying glass at a figure. He
is painting a detail on the model soldier. Suddenly, he drops
the paint brush as he is startled by a knock at the door. The
camera pans back to reveal an unkempt room. Jay stands up and
we see he is in a t-shirt and boxers and socks.
FELGER
Just a minute...
He goes to the door and peeks through the peep-hole. We see Sam
looking at the door. He jumps back, panicked by his visitor.
He starts looking around and tries to straighten up quickly.
FELGER
Ooooh...geez...
He stuffs something under a cushion on the couch. Then he grabs
a pair of pants off the couch.
FELGER
I'll be-I'll be with you in a second...just,
you know, uh, p-putting the dogs out.
He slips the pants over his feet and pulls them up. The only
trouble is, he has put them on backwards. He doesn't let that
stop him from opening the door, however.
FELGER
(chuckling) Oh...Major Carter...
CARTER
I was in the neighborhood...This isn't
a bad time, is it?
Sam walks in wearing jeans and a baby-blue hooded zip-up top.
FELGER
Oh, no, no, no...please, come in, come
in, come in. Just, uh, you know, just,
uh, really wasn't, uh, expecting anyone.
(he quickly turns off the TV) I'm sorry.
CARTER
Nice place.
FELGER
Oh, thank you, thank you. Yes, I was
just, uh, having my apartment fumigated.
Can I, uh, can I offer you anything?
He picks up a can of soda from his desk (already opened) and
a large plastic glass. He pours some of the soda into the glass.
CARTER
No, no, I'm fine.
FELGER
Oh, alrighty. (He sets the cup and soda
down and then turns back and gestures
toward the couch.) Please, please.
Sam starts to take a seat, but then jerks and smiles as she feels
something under her bum. She pulls out two barbie-style dolls.
One is a female blond doll dressed in green fatigues. The other
is a male brunette doll, also dressed in green fatigues. Felger
reaches out and takes the dolls from her.
FELGER
Uh, what, uh, what uh, what brings you
by?
CARTER
I, uh, I took your proposal to General
Hammond.
FELGER
And?
CARTER
And he's agreed to give you another
chance.
FELGER
Oh, thank God. Oh, thank God. That's
great. That's great. Oh, whoo, 'cuz
I thought I was so done for after that
little...incident thing there. That
was...
CARTER
Well, there is one condition...
FELGER
Sure...okay... (He raises the soda can
up to take a drink.)
CARTER
He wants me to work on the project with
you.
Felger chokes on the soda he is drinking, spilling it all over
his face.
FELGER
(Still choking and dabbing at his face
with a napkin) That'd be, uh, you?
CARTER
Yeah, that's not a problem, is it?
FELGER
No, no, no...God, no, no. What about
SG-1?
CARTER
Well, Daniel's working on a relocation
project...P3L-997...
FELGER
The moon in the decaying orbit?
CARTER
They're experiencing some severe seismic
disturbances and some weather anomalies.
FELGER
Mmm, mmm...and then, what about, you
know, Colonel O'Neill? Teal'c?
CARTER
Uh, they have a series of negotiations
with the rebel Jaffa leaders. There's
been some infighting, some old rivalries
cropping up.
FELGER
Well, they have to settle that... yeah,
yeah, yeah...I guess that means you
get stuck with me, then.
CARTER
No, no, I wouldn't put it that way.
I think the basic idea behind the virus
is, actually, quite brilliant.
FELGER
No... (giggles and then stops) Really?
CARTER
Yeah.
Felger giggles some more.
SGC - Felger's Lab Felger is looking at his reflection in a glass
cupboard, trying to tie a tie. Chloe walks in.
CHLOE
A tie?
FELGER
I wear ties.
CHLOE
And cologne?
FELGER
You know, there is nothing wrong with
a man taking pride in his appearance...and
smell.
CHLOE
This wouldn't have anything to do with
Major Carter coming to work with us,
would it?
FELGER
(still futzing with his tie) Don't be
ridiculous.
CHLOE
Here...let me.
FELGER
Thanks. (Chloe starts tying his tie
for him.) Of course, though, you know,
you do have to admit, she possesses
one of the most...brilliant scientific
minds of our generation...and a pair
of legs that won't quit. (Chloe tightens
the tie.) Okay, okay.
CHLOE
Sorry.
FELGER
Well, anyway, what chance has a guy
like me got with a woman like that?
She barely notices I'm alive. You know
what that's like?
CHLOE
A little.
Sam walks in.
CARTER
Morning.
FELGER
Oh, hi...hi.
CARTER
Nice...tie.
FELGER
Oh, thanks.
1. Felger and Chloe typing on different computers in his lab.
Sam looking over his shoulder and then patting it. He looking
at where he hand just was, then at her retreating back side and
having a difficult time getting back on task.
2. Sam writing code on a white board. Felger coming in with three
donuts on a plate, bypassing Chloe and heading straight for Sam.
Sam turning down the offer and then Chloe giving him a look when
he finally offers one to her. Felger takes the jelly-filled,
powdered on and takes a big bite. Then he points with the hand
holding the donut and drips jelly on the board. He erases code
as he tries to clean off the jelly.
3. Felger and Sam watching as Chloe sits at a console. On the
monitors we see what looks like the dialing program. Symbols
are locking into place on two separate screens. We see Chloe
smile and turn to look at the other two. They are both smiling
and then Felger, in a spontaneous display hugs Sam and his head
ends up right on her breast for just a second before he realizes
what he's done and then he offers her his hand to shake in stead.
Sam and Chloe hug and then Chloe and Felger shake hands.
SGC - Hammond's Office
CARTER
We think the virus is ready, sir. Of
course, other than computer simulations,
there's no real way to test it, except
on another 'gate.
HAMMOND
Do you have a target in mind?
CARTER
P5S-117...It's one of Ba'al's principal
naquadah mining sites. If we could disable
the 'gate, we could seriously disrupt
his supply network.
HAMMOND
How will we know if the test is successful?
CARTER
There's a Tok'ra operative on the planet
who will be able to relay the results
of the test through their sub-space
communication network.
HAMMOND
Send the virus.
CARTER
Yes, sir.
Back in Felger's lab. Chloe is tying away as Felger paces.
CHLOE
You're going to wear a hole in the floor.
FELGER
Those Tok'ra are taking the sweet time,
aren't they? Huh? You think we would've
heard something by now.
DAVIS
(over the intercom) Major Carter to
the control room. Repeat, Major Carter
to the control room.
FELGER
That's it.
Felger leaves the lab. We see him get off the elevator on level
28 and side step personnel as he makes his way to the control
room. On the way he passes Siler, who appears to be having someone
(Martin Wood, I believe) take a look at his eye. Jay walks up
the stairs to the control room just as Sam descends another set
an meets up with him.
CARTER
Felger, what are you doing here?
FELGER
What's going on?
CARTER
Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c must have
scheduled contact.
DAVIS
Getting a video signal, sir.
HAMMOND
Colonel O'Neill, this is Hammond. Do
you read?
O'NEILL
(through the MALP transmission) Nice
to hear from you, General.
HAMMOND
What's your status, Colonel?
O'NEILL
Well, the mission was going according
to plan. Then we hit a little snag.
We can't dial the 'gate.
HAMMOND
Say again?
O'NEILL
We cannot establish an outgoing wormhole.
We've tried all kinds of addresses but...we
just can't get a lock.
HAMMOND
Stand by, Colonel.
Hammond and Sam look at Felger.
FELGER
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, this is
just a coincidence. There's no way this
could have anything to do with my virus.
No...could it?
COMMERCIAL BREAK
SGC - Felger's Lab
FELGER
Look, I'm telling you, there's no possible
way Avenger could have anything to do
with this.
HAMMOND
Avenger?
FELGER
That's what I call the virus. You know,
it's named after a comic book I read
when I was a kid...The Amazing Avenger?
Green tights...purple cape. He was super
strong, super fast. You know, not as
fast as the Flash. That would be ridiculous.
Of course, this isn't ringing any bells
with anybody, is it?
HAMMOND
Is there any chance we sent it to the
wrong 'gate?
CARTER
No, sir. We double-checked the coordinates.
The viruse was sent here...P5S-117.
(She points to a computer monitor that
has a star map on it.) Colonel O'Neill
is on P3C-249, which is here. (She points
to a different point on the map.) It
is true that, relatively speaking, within
the 'gate systems the planets are close
together - about 400 light years - but
that doesn't necessarily mean anything.
And until we hear back from the Tok'ra...
Just then, the alarms begin sounding.
DAVIS
(Over the intercom) Unscheduled off-world
activiation.
Hammond takes off and Sam has to push Felger out of the way to
follow him. Felger follows her, leaving Chloe alone in the lab
again.
DAVIS
Sir, we're receiving an audio transmission.
It's the Tok'ra.
THELESS
(over comms) This is Theless of the
Tok'ra.
HAMMOND
This is General Hammond of Stargate
Command.
THELESS
General, I'm afraid I have to report
a series of malfunctions within the
'gate system.
HAMMOND
Malfunctions?
THELESS
Several 'gates have gone off-line. As
yet, we have no idea why. We are still
in the process of gathering information.
CARTER
Theless, this is Major Carter. Do you
have any information on a planet we've
designated P5S-117?
THELESS
One moment, please. We are still waiting
for a sub-space transmission from our
operative in that system.
CARTER
Can you send us any data that you do
have?
THELESS
Affirmative.
We see one of the computers begin downloading a transmission.
DAVIS
Transmission received.
Sam leans forward to begin looking over the transmission.
CARTER
Sir, I'm going to need a few minutes
to analyze this information.
HAMMOND
Go.
Felger crosses his arms and moves closer to Hammond. Hammond
looks at him, but he is staring straight ahead. Then Davis turns
to look at him. Jay finally notices the looks he's getting.
FELGER
I'll go help.
Back in Felger's lab, Sam, Chloe and Jay are looking at information
being printed on one of the monitors.
CARTER
There it is.
First we see Sam's finger point at the screen, then Chloe's and
then Jay's rather quickly.
FELGER
I still don't see how this is possible.
CARTER
Automatic correlative updates.
CHLOE
I thought those were supposed to happen
only once every couple of hundred years.
CARTER
That was the theory.
Hammond walks in.
HAMMOND
Major Carter, report.
CARTER
Sir, first I'd like to recommend that
you begin recalling all of our off-world
teams, immediately.
HAMMOND
It's already being done. The mining
team from P4F-221 is coming through
right now.
CARTER
Well, you might want to tell them to
hurry it up, sir.
HAMMOND
What have you got?
Sam leads them to the same computer monitor with the star map
they were looking at earlier.
CARTER
This is the original target 'gate. This
is Colonel O'Neill's position. These
are the 'gates first reported off-line
by the Tok'ra. (We see more positions
highlighted on the screen.) A few minutes
later...several more.
HAMMOND
They appear to be spreading out from
the original 'gate.
CARTER
Yes, sir.
HAMMOND
You still think this is a coincidence?
CARTER
Well, sir, we think we may have an explanation.
We know that the 'gate network has to
undergo periodic correlative updates
in order to compensate for stellar drift.
Now, we've never witnessed it, but we
believe that the 'gates dial each other
automatically to transmit the new coordinates
that apply to each address.
HAMMOND
And you believe Dr. Felger's virus initiated
one of these updates?
CARTER
It may have triggered an automatic internal
protocol in the DHD. Before adapting
the new scrambled coordinates, it dialed
out and transmitted them to a few of
the neighboring 'gates who then transmitted
to a few more and so on and so on...
FELGER
and so on...yeah.
HAMMOND
Is there any way we can stop it?
CHLOE
There's no time, sir. If each 'gate
only dials two others before adapting
to the new system, the entire network
will be infected in less than two hours.
CARTER
We need to focus on getting as many
people back as possible, sir.
Hammond gives a look that could kill and then leaves.
FELGER
He's really mad, isn't he?
Later in the 'gate room, several SGC personnel step through the
'gate and walk down the ramp as Sam, Davis and Hammond look on.
DAVIS
That's the last of the miners, sir.
HAMMOND
Shut it down. (The 'gate shuts down.)
What's next?
DAVIS
P3L-997.
CARTER
That's Daniel's team, sir.
HAMMOND
Dial it.
Meanwhile, back in Felger's lab, Felger is breathing into a brown
paper bag as Chloe provides words of comfort and rubs his back.
CHLOE
Okay, breath. Everything's gonna be
fine.
FELGER
Grover Cleveland High School...
CHLOE
What?
FELGER
Chemistry 201...I had an incident with
my mid-term lab...they got the fire
under control in about an hour...poor
Mr. Hoffman - his eyebrows never grew
back. I should have got out of science
right then and there...you know, but
this would save everybody all the trouble...
CHLOE
This is Stargate Command. You wouldn't
be here... (Sam walks in and over hears
some of this.) ...if you weren't very
good at what you do.
FELGER
You tell that to Colonel O'Neill...
CARTER
(clear throat)
FELGER
How many teams came back?
CARTER
Three.
CHLOE
Out of how many?
CARTER
15. The rest are stranded.
FELGER
And Dr. Jackson?
CARTER
His team's still off-world.
FELGER
Oh...this is awful!
CARTER
The flood waters are rising, but they're
safe...for the time being.
The phone on the wall behind Sam rings. She picks it up.
CARTER
Carter. General.
FELGER
Oh...General...
CARTER
Yes, sir. I understand. (She hangs up.)
We contacted the Tok'ra. According to
their intelligence...the entire 'gate
network is down.
Felger returns to breathing in the bag.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
SGC- Control Room
HAMMOND
Colonel O'Neill, report.
O'NEILL
(over MALP transmission) The mission's
been compromised, sir. Looks like one
of the Jaffa commanders sold us out.
Go figure.
Sam and Jay have now entered the control room.
HAMMOND
What happened?
O'NEILL
The negotiations were going just fine...then
the 'gate broke down. After that, they
all started accusing each other of sabotage
and all hell broke loose.
CARTER
Sir, we think we know what caused your
'gate to malfunction. It was the virus.
O'NEILL
(moving closer to the MALP camera)
Felger's virus?!
CARTER
It created a new coordinate system that
then spread to all the DHDs, but, since
we don't have a DHD, we have the only
'gate that can dial out.
O'NEILL
(obviously annoyed) I told you not to
trust that brown-nosing little weasel!
FELGER
(through smiling teeth) He doesn't know
I'm standing here, does he?
CARTER
Sir, I'm just as responsible as anyone
else.
Then we hear Teal'c as we see Jack look away from the camera.
TEAL'C
O'Neill...
O'NEILL
We've got incoming, sir! It's Alkesh...
Jack dives out of the way as we see two explosions. One of the
shots hits the MALP and the screen goes black. The words Signal
Lost appear on the black screen.
DAVIS
We just lost video.
CARTER
They must have hit the MALP.
FELGER
He was just standing a few feet from
it.
HAMMOND
Colonel O'Neill, what's your situation?
Please respond.
For a few tense seconds, there is no response and everyone looks
rather worried, Then...
O'NEILL
(over audio only) We're still in one
piece, sir.
FELGER
(obviously relieved) Oh, thank God.
O'NEILL
We're gonna take cover, sir.
CARTER
Sir, we still have an outgoing wormhole.
We could send reinforcements...
HAMMOND
They'd be stranded like all the others.
I can't send anyone until we fix this
problem.
Later, in Felger's lab, Sam, Jay and Chloe are looking at pages
of readouts.
CARTER
Let's think this through, logically.
The entire 'gate network has been paralyzed,
but we can still dial out.
FELGER
And we're assuming that the virus was
spread as a result of the correlative
updates initiated by the DHDs.
CHLOE
We don't have a DHD, so our 'gate was
unaffected.
CARTER
Right. It also means another change
would probably result in another system-wide
update.
FELGER
So, if we can get just one DHD converted
back to the old coordinate system, the
'gate network would spread it for us.
CARTER
But how do you convert back to the old
system, when the new one is based on
a completely random principal?
FELGER
There still has to be a pattern. I mean,
if we can get one DHD to establish a
lock with a specific 'gate, then all
we have to do is compare that old address
to the new address and extrapolate a
translation program...yeah...
CARTER
That would mean random dialing...
CHLOE
Seven symbols chose from a pool of 38
non-repeating candidates? That's about
63 billion possible combinations.
FELGER
(quietly to Sam) She's good with numbers.
I was going to get her to do my taxes.
Sam ignores him and clears her throat.
Later, Sam and Hammond are walking together.
CARTER
Any word from Colonel O'Neill, sir?
HAMMOND
No, we've been unable to reestablish
contact. We hope he's just out of range.
CARTER
Yes, sir.
HAMMOND
According to our latest intelligence
report, it looks like Ba'al is trying
to take advantage of the situation.
CARTER
How so?
HAMMOND
At the moment, he has the largest fleet.
CARTER
With the 'gate system down, whoever
has the most ships has the advantage.
HAMMOND
He's attacking the other system lords
on several fronts. And he's winning.
Back in Felger's lab, Jay is still looking through print outs,
when a cell phone starts ringing. Jay takes the phone out of
his pocket, looks at the caller ID and puts the phone back, unanswered.
Then the desk phone in his lab starts ringing. He gets up to
answer it.
FELGER
Stargate Command, Felger speaking. Mom,
mom, no - no, no...no, I told you not
to call me here. No, you're not even
supposed to have this number...I'm sorry
I didn't call, I had to work late, something
came up...If you must know, mom, I-I
screwed up again. Yeah, and I think
this is the worst one yet. No, no...it-it's
worse than that one. (Sam has just walked
in the lab, but Felger doesn't see her.)
No, worse than that one too, mom. Mom,
mom, mom, I don't need a list of my
personal failures right now, okay? I
mean, to tell you the truth, mom, I
don't even know if I can fix this one...
(Sam clears her throat and Jay notices
her.) I'll have to get back to you on
that then, Simon, okay? Alrighty, then,
bye-bye. (Then to Sam.) A friend, it's
Coombs...he says hi.
CARTER
Look, Jay...I-I know you feel bad about
this.
FELGER
(chuckles lightly) What's to feel bad
about? I mean, it probably took the
ancients a thousand years to build the
'gate system, and I... (whistles) ...wrecked
it in a single day. Not to mention the
fact that I've isolated us from all
the off-world resources we're going
to need to defend ourselves, leaving
us sitting ducks for the next Goa'uld
attack. But who cares?
CARTER
Look I-I need you to get past feeling
guilty and focus on finding a solution.
FELGER
That's easy for you to say 'cause you
never make mistakes.
CARTER
I don't?
FELGER
Oh, com on...you're perfect. Everybody
knows that.
CARTER
Jay...I'm not perfect.
FELGER
See, you have to say that because you're
modest...which is just another aspect
of your perfection.
CARTER
Have you ever heard of a planet called
K'Tau?
FELGER
That wasn't your fault.
CARTER
I was the one who bypassed the dialing
protocols that cause the wormhole to
pass through K'Tau's sun. The chain
reaction that resulted could have led
to the deaths of everyone on that planet...
Jay starts flapping his hands in front of him, effectively interrupting
her.
FELGER
That's it! That's it! That's it! Oh...even
your mistakes are perfect.
CARTER
What are you talking about?
FELGER
You were able to bypass the security
protocol because you created your own
dialing program...
CARTER
So?
FELGER
So, we can do that here. Instead of
trying to tweak the DHD program back
to it's original form, why don't we
just upload everything from our dialing
computer?
CARTER
Our program is nowhere near as sophisticated
as the one that exists in the DHDs.
It's completely jerry-rigged.
FELGER
It doesn't have to be perfect, as long
as the coordinate system is accurate.
The DHD will automatically make all
the necessary adjustments.
CARTER
How do you know that?
FELGER
Well, it's...okay, I don't. I don't.
I don't. But the fact that Avenger triggered
a correlative update seems to indicate
that the DHD program is adaptive by
it's very nature...and plus...we have
nothing else. (He chuckles.) Trust me,
Major, this is gonna work.
Later, in the control room...
JACKSON
(Over MALP transmission, yelling to
be heard) Yeah, sorry to rain on your
parade guys, but it didn't work.
It is raining very heavily where Daniel is. He is wearing rain
gear and the MALP lens is spotted with water drops.
FELGER
(turns to Sam) It should have worked.
JACKSON
We tried dialing Earth and the Alpha
Site, but we couldn't get a lock.
FELGER
You know, maybe there's something wrong
with the upload... (he moves closer
to Davis) ...you can upload better,
huh?
JACKSON
If you've got any other bright ideas,
now would be a very good time.
HAMMOND
What's your status, Doctor?
JACKSON
Flood water's rising pretty fast and
seismic activity is causing a lot of
rogue waves. We estimate that within
48 hours, the entire city will be under
water.
FELGER
It should have worked!
COMMERCIAL BREAK
SGC - Briefing Room
HAMMOND
Have you and Dr. Felger made any progress?
CARTER
I can't find him.
HAMMOND
Excuse me?
CARTER
Apparently, Dr. Felger has left the
base. I-I think the pressure was getting
to him.
HAMMOND
I thought you said all he needed was
a little support...
CARTER
Yeah...I may have been wrong about that.
Okay...I admit it. He's a complete screw-up.
He makes rash decisions based on sketchy
evidence, he's clumsy in the lab, he's
always late and...quite frankly, it
wouldn't kill him to ease up on the
after- shave, but the fact is, sir...he's
at Stargate Command because he's a brilliant
scientist. And no one understands that
virus better than he does...
HAMMOND
Then, I suggest you get him back.
CARTER
Yes, sir.
Earth Felger is standing on a bridge over a lazy stream. He is
tearing off pieces of bread and throwing them into the stream.
He watches as the current carries them downstream. Sam walks
up and stands beside him. She is wearing civvies - denim pants
and jacket, baby blue t-shirt.
CARTER
Jay, what're you doing out here? We've
got work to do.
FELGER
How did you find me here?
CARTER
I called your mother. She told me this
is where you come when you need to think.
FELGER
This is the very spot I was standing
when I figured out how to recombine
epsilon particles in a sub-space matrix...
Then I got mugged by some teenagers.
Still, it's a nice spot.
CARTER
What are you doing?
FELGER
Feeding the ducks.
Sam looks around and there are no ducks in sight.
CARTER
I need you to come back to Stargate
Command.
FELGER
(again, a little chuckle) You know,
before I joined SGC...my idea of a high-
pressure situation was defending a mathematical
thesis in front of a room full of balding,
middle-aged men. I don't do so well
when the fate of the universe is hanging
in the balance now.
CARTER
Jay, you designed the virus. You're
the man for the job. Forget about the
big picture for a second. Forget about
the consequences. Just focus on the
problem. Why didn't the upload work?
FELGER
I don't know. It should've. Every 'gate
in the galaxy should be back on-line.
Except for P5S-117.
CARTER
What do you mean?
FELGER
Well, Avenger's resistant to that type
of tampering, you know? And I didn't
think it made much difference since
S-117 was sabotaged in the first place.
CARTER
Jay, what if the virus replicated itself
and then traveled along with the new
coordinate system to the other DHDs?
FELGER
No, that's impossible. It wasn't designed
to do that.
CARTER
Well, it wasn't designed to trigger
a correlative update, either. You said
it yourself, Jay. The DHD program is
adaptive.
SGC - Briefing Room
CARTER
Sir, we think we may have found a solution.
HAMMOND
Let's hear it.
Sam looks to Jay.
FELGER
Y-you want me to tell it?
CARTER
It's your project.
Felger, who has been pacing behind Hammond until now, takes a
seat at the table opposite Sam. He scoots closer to Hammond and
leans in on the table, causing Hammond to sit back.
FELGER
Well, General, we think we know why
we were unable to upload a dialing program
into the 'gate system. It now looks
as though the virus itself, somehow,
transmitted along with the new coordinate
system to the entire DHD network.
HAMMOND
The virus is blocking the upload.
FELGER
That's right. That's right and we need
to neutralize it first. But in order
to do that, we have to find it.
HAMMOND
I don't understand.
FELGER
W-w-well, uh, the truth is, uh, we don't
know how the virus was transmitted.
If it piggybacked with the automatic
correlative update, that means it's
buried somewhere within the dialing
program itself. We're talking thousands
of lines of code...you know, it would
be like looking for a needle in a haystack.
CARTER
But we do know that the virus exists
within a very specific sub-routine of
the original target DHD on P5S-117.
The catch is, in order to make this
work, we have to reboot the system which
means removing the control crystal.
Someone's going to have to physically
go to the planet, sir.
HAMMOND
P5S-117 is controlled by Ba'al.
CARTER
Yes, sir.
FELGER
General... (Felger stands and looks
straight ahead.) I'd like to volunteer.
HAMMOND
Major Carter has the experience required
for this mission.
FELGER
Oh, come on...I've got off-world experience.
I battled the Goa'uld. I zatted a Jaffa.
CARTER
Sir, maybe it would be better if we
both went.
FELGER
Major Carter's right. Nobody knows more
about Avenger than me.
Next, we see Jay packing duct tape into his very large pack.
Chloe approaches.
CHLOE
Jay, this is crazy.
FELGER
Look, I caused this problem, I'm gonna
fix it.
CHLOE
You're a research scientist, not a field
operative.
FELGER
Did that stop me from infiltrating a
Goa'uld mothership? I think not. Look,
they've already sent the MALP. The 'gates
not even being guarded. Probably, because
it doesn't work any more, but don't
worry about me.
He swings the pack onto his back, hitting Chloe in the process.
FELGER
I know what I'm doing, okay?
He starts to leave, but Chloe calls to him.
CHLOE
Jay... (she picks up a CD and puts it
in his jacket pocket) ...the anti-virus.
FELGER
Okay, yeah...yeah, yeah, I'm gonna need
that. Alrighty.
He starts to leave again, but she grabs his arm and turns him
back to her.
FELGER
What?
She grabs the lapels of his jacket and pulls him to her, kissing
him.
FELGER
(stunned) What...what was that for?
CHLOE
Good luck.
FELGER
Oh...right.
Jay leaves, but not without a few backward glances. Chloe closes
the door and smiles as she goes about her work.
P5S-117 Sam and Jay walk down the steps from the DHD, weapons
ready.
CARTER
All right, you get set up. I'll be back
in a few minutes.
FELGER
Where're you going?
CARTER
I'm gonna to check out the area.
FELGER
Shouldn't we stick together? You know,
in case you need back up or something?
CARTER
I'll be fine.
FELGER
Okay...I'm good too.
He tells after her and she turns to give a shhh gesture. He then
unhooks his backpack and begins pulling out his equipment.
Meanwhile, back at the SGC, Jack is making another MALP report.
O'NEILL
The Jaffa landed the Alkesh and they're
sending out search patrols. Teal'c and
I have organized the rebels for a counter
attack.
HAMMOND
Be advised, Colonel. Major Carter has
gone to P5S-117. She's attempting to
get the 'gate system back on line.
O'NEILL
That's occupied territory, sir.
HAMMOND
Yes, it is.
O'NEILL
What team did she take?
HAMMOND
Major Carter didn't want to risk stranding
anyone else.
O'NEILL
She went alone?
HAMMOND
Not entirely...Dr. Felger's with her.
O'NEILL
I'm inspired with confidence.
Next we see the control crystal of the DHD on P5S-117. The camera
pulls back to reveal two cables attached to other crystals on
the DHD. The cables are attached to Felger's laptop. Carter rejoins
him.
CARTER
There's no sign of any Jaffa activity
in the area.
FELGER
(pointing to his laptop) I'm in. I'm
in. Whoo... (chuckles) Just a sec, just
a sec...okay...something's wrong.
CARTER
What?
FELGER
This isn't Avenger. I mean, it's Avenger,
but s-something's hinky. It's been altered.
CARTER
Hinky?
FELGER
The point is, this isn't the program
I wrote. I-it's been tampered with since
it was sent.
CARTER
Maybe it was Ba'al.
FELGER
Ba'al?
CARTER
Think about it. He stood the most to
gain. He took your idea your idea to
bring down one 'gate and modified it
to bring down the entire 'gate network,
knowing it would give him an advantage.
FELGER
Huh...well, that means none of this
was my fault. I told you Avenger wasn't
designed to cause a correlative update.
CARTER
I wouldn't get too excited. It also
means our anti-virus isn't going to
work.
FELGER
That's right. It's designed for the
original program.
CARTER
Which means that we are now stranded
on a Goa'uld occupied world.
FELGER
So it's kind of a good news-bad news
situation...
COMMERCIAL BREAK
P5S-117 Felger and Sam are still sitting near the DHD.
CARTER
The Jaffa probably aren't as protective
of the 'gate as they once were, but
sooner or later, there's going to be
a patrol. We have to do something.
FELGER
Well, I'm open to suggestions...
CARTER
You said the virus was modified, right?
So all we need to do is modify the anti-virus
to match it.
FELGER
Okay, go for it.
He starts to hand his laptop to Sam.
CARTER
I was hoping you could handle it.
Sam gets up and starts walking again.
FELGER
Oh, I was afraid you were going to say
that.
CARTER
You wanna do this instead? (she waves
her weapon)
FELGER
Do you know how many variations I went
through before I got the anti-virus
right? And that was when I knew what
I was up against. This could take days.
CARTER
Well, then you'd better get started.
FELGER
(after some frustrated silent release)
Yep...oh, yeah...
Meanwhile, back at the SGC, Daniel is checking in again. The
weather has not improved.
JACKSON
(still shouting) Still no word from
Sam?
HAMMOND
To be honest...we should've heard back
by now.
JACKSON
Well, we're gonna have to abandon the
Stargate and move to higher ground.
HAMMOND
Very well. Good luck, Dr. Jackson.
Back on P5S-117 Sam returns from another patrol.
CARTER
How's it coming?
FELGER
We're getting there. It's pretty cool,
isn't it? You and I working together?
We're sort of like the intellectual
Butch and Sundance of the SGC.
CARTER
Butch and Sundance got cornered and
killed by the Bolivian army.
FELGER
Yeah...that's a good point, yeah.
Suddenly, Sam sees Jaff entering the clearing in front of her.
She pulls Felger down with her behind some stones.
FELGER
(still holding the laptop) What? What?
What? What?
CARTER
We got trouble.
FELGER
Wh-what kind of trouble? What?
CARTER
Think Bolivia.
FELGER
Ah...Jaffa.
Two Jaffa are all that are visible, but they are advancing toward
the DHD.
CARTER
They've made our position. Keep working.
She gets up and move further forward, still ducking behind stones.
She starts firing and takes out one of the Jaffa. The other returns
staff fire.
FELGER
Oh...
The fight continues and soon we see a whole bunch of Jaffa entering
the clearing. It looks pretty back for Sam and Jay. Staff blasts
are landing all around them.
FELGER
Concentrate, Jay...concentrate. Just
background noise.
Sam continues to shoot. She takes out another couple of Jaffa
and them dumps a clip. Sam and Jay are quickly being surrounded.
CARTER
How's it coming?
FELGER
I'm feeling a little rushed. There's
not enough time. There's not enough
time.
Sam falls back to Felger's position again. She keeps fighting,
but it's looking bad. Then, the sound of a ship approaching can
be hear. Sam and Jay look up to see and Alkesh hovering over
the them. The weapons array moves and then turns to fire on the
Jaffa. The blasts soon have the Jaffa dead or retreating. The
Alkesh descends even lower over Samd and Jay.
FELGER
(Ducking and covering his head - okay...cowering)
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa
Seconds later, the rings activate and Sam raises her weapon.
Jack and Teal'c ring out of the ship.
FELGER
O'Neill. Look, it's Colonel O'Neill!
Thank God! (Felger runs up and grabs
Jack, hugging him.) Oh, Colonel O'Neill,
you wouldn't believe, you would not...thank
God it's you...
O'NEILL
(fighting him off with Felger's hat)
Felger...Felger. Felger! (Felger lets
go and takes his hat.) What did I say
about touching?
FELGER
Absolutely, absolutely, it's just that
we were over there, you know, and then
they came...everywhere...and th-those
guys...then you...over there... (Felger
is gesturing wildly and Jack is trying
to get him to calm down.) ...but now
you're here. Now you're here. (whispering)
Nice one.
CARTER
(looking up) How'd you manage this one,
sir?
O'NEILL
We got tired of waiting.
Felger starts to hug Jack again, but the sound Jack makes and
the stance he takes makes Felger stop mid-action.
SGC - 'Gate Room Sam and Jay walk through the 'gate and down
the ramp. Hammond greets them at the bottom of the ramp.
HAMMOND
Major, Doctor, welcome back.
CARTER
Sir.
HAMMOND
(to Felger) I trust the solution you
came up with is of a permanent nature?
FELGER
Oh, yes, yes...not to worry, General.
I've modified the anti-virus, you know,
specifically to target and neutralize
the altered version of Avenger. But
I've also added a little patch, you
know, just to ensure that no one will
ever...
CARTER
(cutting him off) The problem is solved,
sir...permanently.
HAMMOND
Dr. Jackson managed to get the remaining
inhabitants of 997 through to the Alpha
Site.
CARTER
Good to hear it, sir.
HAMMOND
What about Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c?
CARTER
They found an alternate means of transport.
I promised the Colonel I wouldn't say
anything...want's it to be a surprise.
Hammond nods slightly.
Felger's Lab Jay and Chloe are kissing. Jay is wearing his lab
coat, but uncharacteristically, Chloe is wearing a somewhat frilly
white top this time.
CHLOE
(between kisses) I was so worried about
you.
FELGER
(also between kisses) It was no big
deal.
CHLOE (continuing the pattern) Those Jaffa...they could have
killed you.
FELGER
(scoffs) Not a chance, Baby.
Jay sweeps his hand across the table behind him, knocking stuff
to the floor. Then he pick Chloe up and sits her on the counter
before laying her back and staring with the kissing again. Seconds
later, Sam and Jack walk in.
CARTER
(stunned) What is this?
FELGER
(looks up) Oh... (He pulls Chloe back
up and she stands on the floor again.)
Hi, guys. (he chuckles) I know, we're
not really supposed to be...fraternizing,
but, hey...
CARTER
(upset) I turn my back for two seconds
and you take up with this...trollop?
FELGER
Oooh... He puts his hands up as Chloe
begins moving toward Sam.
CHLOE
Don't blame me just because you were
never woman enough to satisfy him.
CARTER
(raises brows) Ohhh... (Sam whips off
the green duty shirt she's been wearing
and reveals a rather low-cut, scoop
neck version of the black t-shirt she
usually wears) That's it.
Sam moves rapidly toward Chloe and Jack moves closer to Felger.
Sam grabs Chloe around the neck and they both go down amid grunts.
We can hear them grunting as they struggle, but we can only see
Jack and Jay as they sit at the table and watch.
FELGER
(chuckles) Whoa...ladies, please, no
this isn't really necessary...
O'NEILL
(cuts him off by putting his hand on
Felger's for a second) Shhhh! Don't
talk.
Then in the distance we can hear Chloe calling as the camera
zooms in on Jay's smiling face.
CHLOE
Jay...Jay? (we see her finger poke him
in the cheek just the way Coombs did
in The Other Guys) Jay...
FELGER
What? What? (He has returned from dreamland.)
CHLOE
What were you thinking about?
FELGER
(chuckles) Nothing.
THE END
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