STARGATE SG1
Episode 217
"HOLIDAY"
By
Tor Alexander Valenza
The team are offworld and are looking around a building
JACK
Looks like somebody's closed for the
winter, hmm?
SAM
Teal'c, is this Goa'uld technology?
TEAL'C
These devices are unfamiliar to me.
Sam picks up a device
SAM
Oh, this is interesting.
DANIEL
I wonder what's in there?
Daniel see's a part of the room that is partitioned off
MA'CHELLO
I am in there.
An old man appears
MA'CHELLO
I am unarmed.
JACK
Who are you?
Teal'c walks up to him
TEAL'C
You are the one called Ma'chello, are
you not?
MA'CHELLO
Do I know you?
TEAL'C
You do not, but I have seen images of
you, although your face had not seen
as many years, it was you. Since before
I was born this man has been a fugitive
from the System Lords. One of my first
assignments as first prime of Apophis
was to hunt this man.
DANIEL
What did he do?
TEAL'C
He was developing advanced technology
to battle the Goa'uld. He was captured
and tortured. The System Lords marked
him to become a Goa'uld host, so his
knowledge could be retained. Before
the ceremony of implantation, he killed
several Jaffa and escaped.
JACK
He did that?
MA'CHELLO
I am not this person you speak of; you
are mistaken.
DANIEL
You don't have to be afraid, we're not
Goa'ulds.
MA'CHELLO
We're not? Of course we are not! Then
if we are not Goa'ulds, who are we?
DANIEL
Well, I'm Daniel Jackson, from the planet
Earth.
MA'CHELLO
Yes, Yes! That's right, I am Daniel
Jackson from the planet Earth, pleased
to meet you.
DANIEL
No, I'm Daniel Jackson.
MA'CHELLO
No, I'm Daniel Jackson.
SAM
These are very interesting machines,
are they inventions to fight the Goa'uld?
MA'CHELLO
Yes, inventions to fight the Goa'uld!
DANIEL
Well, do you think you could show us
how they work?
MA'CHELLO
Are we sure, we are not Goa'uld?
MA'CHELLO
You, you! You, here quickly, inventions
to fight the Goa'uld.
He shows Daniel a large device that has handles on either side.
Daniel takes hold of one side and Machello the other. There is
a charge and Machello falls to the ground
SAM
Daniel!
MA'CHELLO
I'm fine, I think. Are you alright,
Sir?
SAM
He's got a pulse.
JACK
Alright, Carter, why don't you dial
us out of here, Teal'c, grab the gentleman.
Lets take him back to the base.
SAM
Yes, Sir.
Titles
Daniel is in the infirmary
JANET
Well, everything seems fine, all your
numbers are normal.
MA'CHELLO
Good, I feel fine.
JANET
Yeah? You just, you seem a little out
of it Daniel, is something bothering
you?
MA'CHELLO
No. I'm just exhausted.
JANET
Well, that's not unusual for someone
who just received a high voltage electric
shock. Any idea what that machine was
suppose to do? Okay, well, if you're
not back to normal in a couple of days,
you let me know.
He gets of the bed
JANET
Oh, wait a minute; I don't want you
driving for a couple of days.
MA'CHELLO
Alright.
JANET
Okay. As Daniel leaves he sees Ma'chello
in a bed.
MA'CHELLO
How is he?
JANET
Not good. He has severe scar tissue
all over his body, looks like he was
burned or electrocuted. My guess is
he was tortured.
MA'CHELLO
He's not going to live much longer is
he?
JANET
I don't think so.
Daniel leaves
Briefing room
HAMMONDS
Let's continues without Doctor Jackson,
Captain Carter, you were about to brief
us about the device.
SAM
Yes, Sir, I believe it's some sort of
database for all of Ma'chello's inventions;
these symbols are like icons on a computer,
when I press one of them a schematic
diagram appears with notes on the side.
HAMMONDS
Any idea on what any of it is?
SAM
Well, Sir, that's the problem, it's
not in any dialect I understand, I was
hoping that Daniel or maybe Teal'c could
shed some light on these symbols.
TEAL'C
I do not recognize them.
Daniel enters the room
MA'CHELLO
I apologize.
HAMMONDS
How are you, Doctor Jackson?
MA'CHELLO
Tired, Doctor Fraiser said it'll wear
off in a few days; I'll be fine.
SAM
Daniel, do you recognize any of these
symbols?
Sam hands Daniel the device, he briefly looks at it and hands
it back.
MA'CHELLO
No.
HAMMONDS
Keep trying people, this could be some
valuable technology. Dismissed.
MA'CHELLO
General? Doctor Fraiser thought I should
go home, get some rest.
HAMMONDS
Take a day.
MA'CHELLO
Thank you.
He is driven home
MA'CHELLO
Thank you, I'll be fine from here.
DRIVER
Yes, Sir.
He doesn't go inside, but instead walks down the street
Infirmary
JACK
You called, Sir?
DANIEL
Jack, Sam, Teal'c, finally.
JACK
How does this gentleman know our names?
General Hammond doesn't know.
DANIEL
As I've been trying to tell the General
and the good Doctor here, I am not Ma'chello,
I am Daniel Jackson.
JACK
Oh, here we go.
DANIEL
I realize what I look like, but I'm
telling you that machine somehow switched
us.
JANET
He, knows a lot about Daniel.
DANIEL
Ask me anything, something only Daniel
would know.
SAM
Okay, who's Cassandra?
DANIEL
She's a 12 year old girl, we found abandoned
on P8X-987.
JACK
P8X..?
SAM
[987, yeah.
JACK
Alright, lucky guess.
HAMMONDS
Where was the Stargate found?
DANIEL
At a dig in Giza.
JACK
Alright, describe for me, the dress
your sister wore last week, when I took
her out.
DANIEL
I don't have a sister, Jack, and if
I did I wouldn't let you near her.
HAMMONDS
Okay, lets assume for a moment that
you are Daniel Jackson; then who the
hell did we just send home?
Machello is walking down the street an bumps into a man
MA'CHELLO
Hello friend, I am new to this area,
I would like to learn about your culture
and customs, will you teach me? Do you
not understand me?
FRED
Spare any change, please?
MA'CHELLO
Why does no-one answer me?
FRED
Cos you're strange.
MA'CHELLO
Am I? Tell me how I am strange?
FRED
Man, you can't be just walking up to
people you don't know in the street
and talking all weird like that, asking
for stuff.
MA'CHELLO
Isn't that what you are doing?
FRED
Well, Yeah, but...
MA'CHELLO
Then you must be strange as well.
FRED
I've been called worse, sure, I'm strange
too.
MA'CHELLO
I am called Ma'chello.
FRED
I'm Fred.
MA'CHELLO
Let us feast together, Fred, and celebrate
our strangeness and new found friendship.
FRED
On you?
MA'CHELLO
If that is the custom, we will feast
'on me'.
Briefing Room
HAMMONDS
Doctor Fraiser?
JANET
Well, Sir, medically speaking he is
an elderly gentleman suffering from
acute pulmonary damage, with the conscious
awareness and memory of Doctor Daniel
Jackson.
HAMMONDS
How?
JANET
Well, I can't tell you the method used
to do it, General, but I can tell you
that our personality, our memory, our
conscious selves are derived from unique
networks of neurons in the cerebral
cortex; somehow Daniel's networks were
remapped onto the old man's by that
alien device.
JACK
So this could be a one-way deal, right?
JANET
I'm not following, Sir.
JACK
We don't know that it went both ways,
Daniel could still be, Daniel.
HAMMONDS
His doorman said he never came into
the building after he was dropped off.
JACK
There you go, lets find him.
SAM
And what if he isn't Daniel?
HAMMONDS
We're going to have to prepare for that
possibility, Doctor Fraiser?
JANET
Sir, this, er, problem is beyond my
expertise. I'm going to have to consult
with some neuro specialists, Sir.
HAMMONDS
Do it.
JACK
General, wouldn't it be a little easier
if we just went back got this machine
and tried to slam it into reverse?
HAMMONDS
Alright, Colonel, retrieve it but consider
that device hazardous material, prepare
yourself accordingly.
JACK
Yes, Sir.
They go back to the planet
SAM
I'm going to check out Ma'chello's room,
maybe he has some electronic notebooks
I can actually read.
JACK
Alright. Captain, maybe you shouldn't
touch anything in there.
SAM
I'll be careful, Sir. Sam leaves, Jack
and Teal'c get out some covers to put
over the handles of the machine so they
don't directly touch it and get swapped
JACK
Alright, I'm going to get mine on first,
here. Jack slides the covers on, followed
by Teal'c.
JACK
Alright, on three....1,2
SAM
Colonel!
JACK
Captain?
SAM
Sorry. I think I know how Ma'chello
has lived so long. I think this is some
sort of medical device, there's all
sorts of tubes and thermal units that
look like they're for life support.
TEAL'C
But Ma'chello was conscious when we
found him.
SAM
Well, maybe it's triggered to automatically
deactivate when someone comes through
the 'gate.
TEAL'C
Then we can place Daniel Jackson in
the hibernation chambers so his body
can be maintained.
SAM
Yeah, possibly, if I can figure out
how to get it to work again.
JACK
How long, Captain?
SAM
I don't know, Sir, I might not be able
to figure it out at all.
JACK
Well, then lets get this thing back
to Earth, it might be all we need.
JACK
On three. One, two, three.
The machine makes the same sound as when Daniel and Ma'chello
switched. Jack and Teal'c look at each other.
SAM
What?
The team return through the gate
HAMMONDS
How did it go, Colonel?
TEAL'C
It did not go well, General Hammond.
JACK
You think!
Later
TEAL'C
This is indeed uncomfortable.
JACK
How do ya think I feel, Teal'c? I've
got a snake in my gut, you've got a
comfortable, normal body.
TEAL'C
It is normal to you, O'Neill, having
a symbiote within is normal to me.
JACK
Yeah, well, whatever, it's bad, okay?
Sam enters the room
SAM
Hey.
TEAL'C
Have they located Doctor Jackson?
SAM
No, they're still looking. The good
news is I've found the switching device
on Ma'chello's computer; problem is
all of the notations are in that strange
dialect. You know, when you think about
it, it's actually kind of a good thing
that this happened. I mean, I can experiment
with the two of you and then when they
find Daniel/Ma'chello we can reverse
the process, assuming of course that
it's ....
JACK
Captain, can we just get on with this?
SAM
Right, well I couldn't find any buttons
or switches, so unless I've missed something
it must be triggered by the handles
themselves. I, I think that we should
try different ways of grasping the handles.
First lets just try grasping it normally,
the same way you did before.
They try, but it doesn't work
JACK
Nope, still got Junior.
SAM
Alright, alright, maybe there's an in
and an out handle, switch sides.
They try again
TEAL'C
We did not make progress.
SAM
Okay, maybe it has something to do with
the order you grab the handles.
Later on
JACK
I'm not feeling so hot.
TEAL'C
What are you feeling, O'Neill?
JACK
All of a sudden, Junior's moving around
a lot in there.
TEAL'C
This likely means my body has contracted
an illness my symbiote must repair.
SAM
Illness, great.
TEAL'C
It is common. The symbiote will remedy
the problem.
JACK
Okay, when?
TEAL'C
It can only accomplish its work if you
put your body into a state of kel'no'reem.
JACK
Translation, Teal'c.
TEAL'C
Similar to a state of hibernation.
SAM
Meditation?
TEAL'C
Perhaps, but I sense much deeper than
that of any human mediation. It is imperative
that you do this, O'Neill, or my body
will be as if it has no immune system.
JACK
Okay, tell me what to do.
Jack (In Teal'cs body), is looking in the mirror
JACK
You don't look so good, I mean I don't
look so good.
TEAL'C
You will become increasingly ill as
long as my symbiote does not have the
opportunity to make the necessary repair.
JACK
So you're telling me this is just gonna
get worse.
TEAL'C
If you do not perform kel'no'reem it
could lead to my death, rather your
death. (No pressure like!)
JACK
What do I do?
TEAL'C
Please, be seated.
Machello and Fred go into a cafe
WAITRESS
Can I help you?
MA'CHELLO
Hello, this is Fred, I am Ma'chello,
we wish to feast on me. In fact let
everyone here feast on me.
WAITRESS
You celebrating something?
MA'CHELLO
Indeed we are: life.
WAITRESS
Okay, but I'm going to need a credit
card.
MA'CHELLO
A credit card, where would I find such
a card?
WAITRESS
Usually in your wallet.
He takes out a card
MA'CHELLO
Will one of these cards do?
WAITRESS
Absolutely.
MA'CHELLO
You are one of the most enchanting women
I have seen in my lifetime, I would
be honoured by a kiss.
WAITRESS
Yeah, I bet you would.
Jack is trying to meditate
TEAL'C
Very good, O'Neill.
JACK
It is? I'm not feeling any better.
TEAL'C
You have not yet reached kel'no'reem.
JACK
So, how do I do it?
TEAL'C
Relax, concentrate, you must imagine
the center of your mind and focus. Allow
it to take you into a waking sleep,
there you will dream, when you do so
it will be in harmony with the symbiote.
Your sub-conscious minds will be as
one. At that moment, you will have achieved
kel'no'reem. Here, the symbiote will
receive information necessary to repair
your sickness.
Daniel is in the infirmary, trying to translate the notes
DANIEL
It's useless.
SAM
No, it's not, you've already figured
out that it's a mixture of ancient Latin
and Greek, we're getting closer.
DANIEL
That's obvious because of the forms,
the alphabets may be the same but it's
an entirely original language. There's
no sentence structure, there's no.
SAM
Take it easy.
Daniel loses consciousness
JANET
His blood pressure's going up. He's
not responding. Get a CT, check for
hemorrhage and get a respirator ready
just in case.
SAM
Janet?
JANET
He's non-responsive; he's in a coma.
Machello and Fred eat some ice-cream in the cafe
FRED
Dig in Ma'chello, before the hot fudge
melts all the ice cream. So, I get the
feeling you fought in the Gulf, am I
right?
MA'CHELLO
No. But I was a soldier, I fought many
battles, I was captured and tortured.
FRED
Well, that explains a lot.
MA'CHELLO
I continued to fight and lost all that
I loved and cared for, but I knew I
could not surrender, for you. If it
were not for me, you would all be conquered
by now.
FRED
By who? Sadaam?
MA'CHELLO
He is not a System Lord I am familiar
with, but several others would've wiped
you out.
FRED
Whatever you say, man.
MA'CHELLO
But I do not wish to fight any longer.
From now on I only want to eat hamburgers
and French fries and ice cream sundaes
and I want to be with good people like
you, Fred.
FRED
All good things come to an end Ma'chello.
MA'CHELLO
No, no my friend, only evil things must
come to an end. For good things such
as ourselves, it is possible to go on
forever.
FRED
Cool.
Jack finishes meditating. Teal'c is preparing to cut Jack's hair
JACK
Whoa, Sweet. Teal'c? What are you doing?
TEAL'C
If I am to remain in this body, I must
shave my head.
JACK
You're making a joke, right?
TEAL'C
I am not joking.
JACK
Teal'c, you will not shave my head.
TEAL'C
It is presently my head, O'Neill.
JACK
Teal'c, this is temporary.
TEAL'C
And if it is not?
JACK
Just give them a chance to find Daniel,
okay? Teal'c, I'm going to see General
Hammond, promise me, you won't touch,
the head, until I get back.
Jack goes to Hammonds office
JACK
Sir, I feel like I need to be involved
in finding Daniel.
HAMMONDS
Well, I think we may have him, Son.
Daniel's credit card was just used at
a local diner.
JACK
Request permission to go there, Sir.
HAMMONDS
Denied, you'll remain here until they
bring him in. Be patient, Colonel.
JACK
I can't be patient. Sir, Daniel is dying
and I'd rather we get to Ma'chello than
some yahoo civvy-officer shooting him
and blowing any chances we have of saving
him.
HAMMONDS
As much as I'd like to, you're not exactly
yourself. Request denied.
Ma'chello and Fred leave the cafe
MA'CHELLO
It has been a lifetime since I have
enjoyed such companionship, Fred. I
have truly enjoyed it.
FRED
Likewise. A woman walks by, she catches
Ma'chello's eye.
MA'CHELLO
How does one court a wife, Fred?
FRED
Usually with lots of time, energy and
those credit cards.
MA'CHELLO
Good, let us begin now.
POLICEMAN
Hold it there, buddy.
The police have arrived
MA'CHELLO
I will not go back, it is impossible.
POLICEMAN
Put your hands behind your head.
FRED
Do it Ma'chello, you don't know these
cops like me.
Machello runs, but is caught
FRED
Wait, wait, wait don't shoot him, man,
he's a hero.Ah, don't hurt him.
MA'CHELLO
You were right, Fred, all good things
do come to an end.
He's put into the police car
Back in the infirmary. Sam is with Daniel
SAM
Come on, Daniel, they've found the guy,
they're bringing him in; you have to
wake up. Daniel, you can't die on me
now.
DANIEL
It's nice to know you don't just like
me for my looks.
Janet enters
SAM
Hey Janet.
JANET
Well, it is good to have you back, Doctor
Jackson. You have impeccable timing.
Sam, they're on their way in, you should
get that machine of his in here.
Later, Machello's device is brought into the room, along with
Machello
HAMMONDS
Reverse what you've done to my people.
MA'CHELLO
I cannot do what is impossible.
HAMMONDS
Then you won't cooperate.
MA'CHELLO
On the contrary, I am telling you the
truth, it is not possible.
SAM
Why not?
MA'CHELLO
In simplest terms, the device retains
a memory of every transference. For
the very reason you're asking me, I
designed it to so it encrypts the transference,
blocking any reversal.
HAMMONDS
Then reprogram it so it will unblock
it.
MA'CHELLO
You do not have the necessary technology.
Even if I wanted to change it, I could
not.
Machello is in a cell. Hammond and Sam enter
MA'CHELLO
Thank you for coming.
SAM
Hope you're enjoying the scenery, it's
the only view you'll have for the rest
of your life.
MA'CHELLO
Yes, that is why I called you; I thought
perhaps I might be able to negotiate
for better accommodations.
HAMMONDS
We're listening.
MA'CHELLO
First let me apologize for the unfortunate
transference of your Colonel and the
Jaffa.
HAMMONDS
Just get to the point.
MA'CHELLO
The symbols you've no doubt tried to
decipher are unique, in form they are
similar to my native language, but they're
actually an original code I devised
in case my work came into enemy hands.
HAMMONDS
We're not your enemy, if anything we're
allies.
MA'CHELLO
That is why I will teach Captain Carter
that code. With my knowledge I guarantee
you will not only be able to effectively
defend yourself against the Goa'uld,
you will in fact be able to defeat them.
SAM
And our cost for this knowledge?
MA'CHELLO
My freedom, of course.
HAMMONDS
And Doctor Jackson?
MA'CHELLO
He is not an issue.
SAM
Not an issue? We're talking about a
friend's life.
MA'CHELLO
Your friend was my solution to hiding
my face permanently; consider him a
casualty of war. I am offering you the
salvation of your planet. Is this not
worth more than the life of one archaeologist?
HAMMONDS
I don't know about the customs on your
planet, but here on Earth the value
of a life is priceless.
Hammond walks out
SAM
I want you to get to know your casualty.
Infirmary. Machello sit's by Daniel's bedside
SAM
I believe you two have met.
DANIEL
Well from what I can see, you're looking,
good.
MA'CHELLO
What would you like me to say, I am
sorry, that I wish I could undo it?
I do not.
DANIEL
Why?
MA'CHELLO
Why? Because I earned it, that's why,
I earned it because I sacrificed my
life for you and your people. The least
you could do is compensate me with another.
DANIEL
What right do you have to judge the
value of my life?
MA'CHELLO
I have suffered, more than anyone should
suffer in a lifetime; for 50 years I
fought against the Goa'uld then I was
betrayed by my wife, whom they secretly
turned into a host.
DANIEL
So is mine, she's still with them.
MA'CHELLO
At least you still have a planet and
friends. Two billion of my people died
rather than surrender me to the Goa'uld.
DANIEL
You have made great sacrifices, we owe
you gratitude, but still it does not
give you the right to take another's
life.
MA'CHELLO
If you had the technology, you would
do the same.
DANIEL
No, I wouldn't, because then I would
become no better than the Goa'uld.
MA'CHELLO
I am not a Goa'uld, I hate the Goa'uld.
DANIEL
The Goa'uld use host because they think
they are better than humans, because
they believe they deserve it. You're
a Goa'uld Ma'chello. I am nothing but
a host to you.
MA'CHELLO
I am not a Goa'uld.
DANIEL
My wife is still alive, there is a chance
I could still save her, you are stealing
that chance.
MA'CHELLO
Even if you still had this body, you
will never find her.
DANIEL
No, I will find her, I will find.
Daniel flatlines
JANET
He's in de-fib, prepare the paddles.
Come on Daniel.
His heart eventually restarts
JANET
Wait a minute; I've got a heartbeat,
but I don't know for how long. Give
me one mil epi.
MA'CHELLO
If I could trade places with him again,
I would but unfortunately I am the only
one who cannot.
SAM
Wait a minute; you're the only who that
can't?
MA'CHELLO
Yes.
SAM
Get Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c.
Jack and Teal'c enter the infirmary
JACK
What's going on, Captain?
SAM
I think I may have come up with a solution
to this whole mess.
JACK
Finally.
JANET
Well, whatever you're gonna do, do it
fast.
SAM
Alright, it's a little complicated so
I need you to do exactly as I say. We're
going to have to play a little musical
chairs with your bodies. First Colonel,
you and Ma'chello will switch. Trust
me, Colonel.
Jack and Machello switch bodies. Jack is now in Daniel's body
and Machello is in Teal'cs body
SAM
Colonel?
JACK
I'm here.
SAM
How do you feel, physically?
JACK
Peachy.
MA'CHELLO
The transference was successful, physically
we are fine, please continue, Captain.
SAM
Right, now you and Daniel should switch.
Teal'c swaps with Daniel. Daniel is now in Jack's body an Teal'c
is in Ma'chello's body
DANIEL
Whoa, what a dream, what happened?
SAM
I don't have time to explain right now,
Daniel, just bear with me.
DANIEL
Okay.
JACK
Danny boy.
DANIEL
Jack?
MA'CHELLO
Iwish I had time to teach you the symbols.
In your hands my inventions could go
on fighting the Goa'uld.
SAM
It's alright, I'll figure it out, please.
Teal'c and Ma'chello swap.
TEAL'C
I am myself again, thank you Captain
Carter.
SAM
Anytime.
It's Jack and Daniel's turn to swap
JACK
Our turn.
Everyone is back where they belong
JACK
Yes! Yes! Shave my head?
DANIEL
I'm back.
JANET
He's conscious again.
MA'CHELLO
Thank you for my holiday.
DANIEL
You're welcome
Ma'chello dies
HAMMONDS
Welcome back, SG-1.
THE END
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