BURN AFTER READING
Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
1 EXT. EASTERN SEABOARD - AERIALS - DAY 1
High in the air----so high we an see the curvature of the
earth. The eastern seaboard stretches away, flecked with
As we dissolve in closer the picture bleaches of color. We
are looking down at the city of Washington, D.C.
Dissolve closer still: a black-and-white aerial photograph of
a neighborhood in suburban D.C. dominated by a sprawling
building. Computer type quickly bleeps on:
2 INT. CIA - HALLWAY - DAY 2
We track at floor level, following the well shined shoes of
someone walking down the well polished hallway.
3 INT. PALMER'S OFFICE - DAY 3
We hear a door opening and a silver-haired man rises behind
his desk. A nameplate on the desk identifies him as Palmer
Ozzie. Sit down.
Osbourne Cox, entering, is a middle-aged man in a striped
shirt and bow tie.
Palmer. What's up.
You know Peck, and Olson.
The two men, sitting on chairs facing the desk, nod at
Osbourne, who is surprised to see them.
Peck, yes, hiya. Olson, by
reputation. Hi, Osbourne Cox.
Aren't you with...aren't you,
Palmer jumps in:
Yeah, that's right. Oz, look.
There's no easy way to say this.
We're taking you off the Balkans desk.
In fact we're moving you out of Sigint
...What? No discussion, just----you're
Well, we're having the discussion now
Oz. This doesn't have to be
Palmer, with all due respect----what the
fuck are you talking about?
... And why is Olson here?
Another uncomfortable beat.
... Look, Ozzie----
What the fuck is this?! Is it my----I
know it's not my work.
I'm a great fucking analyst! Is it----
Oz, things are not going well. As you
You have a drinking problem.
Stunned silence. Ozzie turns to look at Peck.
I have a drinking problem.
This doesn't have to be unpleasant.
We found you something in State. It's
He gropes, uncomfortable.
... It's a lower clearance level.
Yes. But we're not, this isn't, we're
not terminating you.
This is an assault.
Come on, Ozzie.
This is an assault. I have a drinking
problem? Fuck you, Peck, you're a
Next to you we all have a drinking
problem! Fuck you guys! Whose ass
didn't I kiss? Let's be honest!
Palmer nods at Olson.
Let's be fucking honest...
Osbourne gets to his feet, agitated.
... This is a crucifixion! This is
political! Don't tell me it's not!
He storms out the door.
... I have a drinking problem!
The door slams. Palmer Smith looks at Olson. Olson arches
4 INT. COX KITCHEN - DAY 4
Bow tie loosened, he stands at a kitchen counter.
His shoulders twist as he does something below frame: we hear
the crackle of ice cubes wrenching loose from a tray.
Behind him we see the apartment door opening. Katie, an
attractive middle-aged woman, enters, taking her key out of
the door, but stops, surprised to see Osbourne.
Osbourne continues making himself a drink.
Hang on to your hat, honey. I have
some news. I----
Did you pick up the cheeses?
Were they ready? I didn't know you
were coming home this early.
Katie rolls her eyes.
I left a message for you to stop at
Todaro's. The Magruders and the
Pfarrers are coming over.
The Pfarrers? Ugh. I----what did
When you left the message?
She said. She would give you. The
Well she, I don't know, I guess we had
bigger news today. My day didn't
So you didn't get the cheeses.
Well, since I didn't get the message,
no, I didn't get the cheeses. But
hang on to your hat, I----
Oh for fuck's sake, Ozzie, you mean I
have to go out again? All right,
well, you better get dressed.
Honey, we have to talk.
Not right now. They'll be here in,
what, less than an hour.
5 INT. COX LIVING ROOM - NIGHT 5
A hand hovers, hesitates.
Is this a, uh, goat cheese?
Chevre, yes, that is a goat cheese.
Pink Revision 8/14/07 6.
Wider shows the cocktail party, meagerly attended but in full
swing. Besides Osbourne and Katie there is Harry Pfarrer
(who has just inquired about the cheese), bearded, forties,
rugged; his wife Sandy; and a shiny-faced young couple, Doug
and Tina Magruder.
Osbourne holds a cocktail tumbler.
Because I have lactose reflux. But I
You're lactose intolerant?
Yes, but I can----
Or you have acid reflux? They're two
Harry looks at him coldly.
I know what they are.
Then you misspoke yourself. So I----
Thank you for correcting me.
You should try the chevre, Harry.
It's very good.
Yeah. I can eat goat cheese.
He eats a piece, cupping one hand under his mouth.
... I was just explaining to your
husband here, I have a condition----
Katie tries to separate the two men by including Doug
Harry works with the Marshalls' *
Pink Revision 8/14/07 6A.
Ah. I'm on the legislative side, I *
work with Senator Hobby. *
Pink Revision 8/14/07 7.
Used to work for Treasury, but I *
didn't go over to Homeland Security. *
I'm with the Marshalls. *
If you want he'll show you his great
Very amusing. The gun is actually no
big deal. Twenty years in the
marshall's service and I've never
discharged my weapon.
Sounds like something you should be
telling your psychiatrist.
What? I don't have a psychiatrist.
Boy, I guess my job is pretty
undramatic. I'm on the legislative
side. What do you do Mrs. Pfarrer? Do
you also carry a gun?
Sandy writes children's books.
I write children's books----
Oliver The Cat Who...Who..arghh----Who----
Choking on piece of cheese, coughing
...Who Lives In The Rotunda. Excuse
Those are wonderful! My nieces and
Yeah, it's a beloved series. You
wouldn't believe her fan mail. Unghh.
Are you sure this is goat cheese?
Why don't you let your wife tell them
about her own books, Harry?
I'm sorry----was I----
Here, come in the kitchen, help me
with the crudités.
6 INT. COX KITCHEN - NIGHT 6
Goddamnit. He knows, doesn't he.
He looks down at the floor. He stamps.
... Nice floors.
Harry is looking around the kitchen, taking in the fixtures.
About us, he knows about us. Little
Don't be an ass, he doesn't know a
Harry is staring down at the linoleum again.
What is that, forbo?
A6 EXT. STREET - NIGHT A6
A car drives by.
7 INT. HARRY'S CAR - NIGHT 7
Harry driving, his wife next to him.
A long beat.
What a horse's ass.
I don't know why we see them.
Well, she's all right.
She is a cold, stuck-up bitch.
Harry opens his mouth to reply, considers, doesn't.
8 INT. COX MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT 8
She is staring, in front of a mirror, face covered in cold
cream, one hand arrested on the way up to daub on more.
Osbourne is buttoning a pajama top.
Well----Thank you for letting me know!
I tried to tell you this afternoon.
You tried? You tried? And then----
what, the aphasia kicked in?
Our guests came. We----
Why?! For fuck's sake, Ozzie!
I'm just----I don't know. I got so
Tired of swimming against the current.
Independent thought is not only not
valued there, they resist it, they
fight it, the bureaucracy is
Did you get a pension, or severance or
I didn't retire you know, I, I quit.
I don't want their benefits.
But I suppose my benefits are all
right, I suppose you can live with
those, is that the idea?
It's not like that's the only way to
Yes? Yes? What're you gonna do?
I'll do some consulting.
Yes, to help while I----I've always
wanted to write.
Write. Write what.
I've been thinking about it. A book,
a sort of, sort of memoir.
Katie stares at him in the mirror.
She bursts into laughter.
9 EXT. YACHT/AT SEA - DAY 9
A small yacht. Osbourne stands at the wheel, a light wind in
his face, as the boat sails under motor power.
After a beat he moves to the front of the boat.
An old man sits on a bench on the prow facing out into the
wind. He has snowy hair and a stern Yankee face. He wears a
tweed cap. He doesn't much react to Osbourne's approach.
You okay there, Dad?
The old man remains silent, staring. Osbourne sits next to
him and idly tucks in the plaid blanket resting over the
... Dad, I left my job at the
The old man stares out into the wind.
... I, uh... I'm sorry. Dad,
government service is not what it was
when you were in State. Things are
different now. I don't know, maybe
it's... it's... the Cold War ending;
now it seems like it's all bureaucracy
and no mission...
The old man stares out into the wind.
... I'm writing a memoir. I think
it's going to be pretty explosive.
But I don't think you'll disapprove.
I don't think you'll disapprove.
Katie has had trouble accepting it.
But... sometimes there's a higher
patriotism, Dad. So we'll... Yes,
change is hard. It's hard on Katie.
But we'll be okay. We'll be okay.
Life is change. This is good. We
were all blocked up, Katie and me.
This is, this is a blessing in
disguise. I'll go into training, you
know. Lay off the sauce. Like you
did. You managed to do it. Finally.
And then I can concentrate on, you
know. New beginning. And this'll all
have been for the best. Don't you
The old man stares out into the wind.
He taps the old man on the knee and rises.
... I guess we should head back.
10 EXT. PIER - DAY 10
LONG SHOT THRU THE WINDSHIELD OF A CAR
The sailboat docked at the end of a marina. Osbourne is
pushing the old man in a wheel chair down the pier away from
A MAN'S VOICE
We've seen this...
11 INT. LAW FIRM - CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY 11
White hair, bushy eyebrows, a florid face. He is in a law-
book lined conference room. He wears an expensive suit,
suspenders, a white shirt with blue collar and cuffs. He is
... I know this kind of man. We've
Wider on the conference room shows that Katie Cox sits at the
table, along with Terikhian, another lawyer, and an
... Mrs. Cox, you can't let this man
take advantage of you. And he will.
Yes. This is my fear. He's trying----
he says----he's trying to pull himself
Look, sure, I----I'm obliged to tell you
you should try to salvage things. And
you should. People turn themselves
around. Not unheard-of. But. You----
you haven't broached the possibility
of divorce yet?
Well that's good. Because first you
should get all his financials. Before
he's forewarned. Because here's a
man, here's a man, practiced in
deceit, this is almost, you could say
it's his job, practiced at hiding
things, and there is no reason, it is
not improper, there is no reason for
you not to get a picture of the
household finances. Paper files,
computer files, whatever----this is your
prerogative. You can be a spy too,
madam. Do this before you put him on
alert. Before the turtle can draw in
his head and his, uh...
He waggles his hands, groping for the word.
... And hopefully everything will work
out. He will reform. But! If not:
forewarned is forearmed.
12 INT. COX HOUSE - DAY 12
Osbourne is splayed on an easy chair, wearing a bathrobe over
pyjamas. He stares at the ceiling, motionless, arms out-
flung, like Marat in his bathtub.
A long still beat. A clock ticks.
Abruptly Osbourne raises one hand to speak into a
We were young and committed and there
was nothing we couldn't do. We
thought of the Agency less as... less
The thought, such as it was, peters out. Osbourne rises and
wanders around the room, glassy-eyed.
He suddenly raises the microcassette again.
... The principles of George Kennan----a
personal hero of mine----were what
animated us. In fact they were what
had originally inspired me to enter
government service. Like the State
Department's China Hands of yore, or,
in a different forum, in a different
venue, in a different medium, in,
um... "Murrow's Boys," the fabled----in
He suddenly stops, head cocked, listening.
Faintly, a ringing phone.
13 INT. COX BASEMENT STAIRWAY - DAY 13
At the cut Osbourne is thundering down a steep carpeted
stairway. He inclines his head to clear the ceiling that
juts over the bottom half of the stairwell.
The phone is louder here.
14 INT. COX BASEMENT - DAY 14
A semi-finished basement with cheap paneling and a low
dropped ceiling of water-stained Johnson-Armstrong tile. The
ringing phone is on a cheap government-surplus desk. The
answering machine, with Osbourne's voice, picks up:
You have reached The Cox Group...
Osbourne, robe flapping, shuffles hurriedly in his slippered
feet toward the phone.
... We can't answer your call right
now. Please leave a----
He eases into the chair, having swiped up the phone. A
... Yes?... Oh, no... No, call her
number... No, upstairs...No she's not,
but leave it on her machine.
15 INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY - LATER 15
We are looking over Osbourne's shoulder----he is still in his
robe----as he sits hunched on an ottoman, looking at a daytime
A few beats of the show.
Roaring laughter from the studio audience. Mild chuckle from
Osbourne in the foreground.
16 INT LIVING ROOM - DAY - STILL LATER 16
Ticking clock. Osbourne paces with the microcassette
recorder. He raises it with a thought, draws a breath, and
then stops, and looks off.
The ticking grandfather clock: ornate hands on an ornate
clock face Two or three minutes to five.
Osbourne stares for a long beat.
17 INT. COX KITCHEN - DAY 17
Shoulders twisting as we hear ice clattering out of a tray.
He pours coke sizzling onto the ice.
He pauses for a long beat.
He takes a bottle of rum out of a cabinet.
He pours some into a hatch-marked shot glass.
He looks at it. The amber liquid tops the hatch mark. He
conscientiously pours the overage back, murmuring:
He dumps the shot into the Coke.
18 EXT. SAILBOAT - DUSK 18
As before, the boat, docked at the end of the marina pier, is
seen in long shot through the windshield of a car.
Closer on the boat. As water laps against pilings and the
boat gently bobs and creaks, we hear, muffled, the sounds of
a couple having sex. When it builds to climax we cut:
19 INT. SAILBOAT - DUSK 19
Minutes later. We hold on a door for a quiet beat, then we
hear the gurgle of water, and then the door opens. Harry
Pfarrer emerges from the small bathroom, buckling his belt.
In the bedroom which he emerges into Katie Cox is just
Harry looks at his watch.
I should try to get a run in.
20 INT. COX HOUSE - DUSK 20
Katie is letting herself in.
21 INT. KITCHEN - DUSK 21
Katie enters and sees a note on the counter paperweighted by
a plate of used lime wedges:
At Fenninger's. Reunion committee
See you later.
22 EXT. POTOMAC BRIDGE - DUSK 22
Long-lens, hand-held, point-of-view seeming: Harry Pfarrer is
jogging in his Treasury sweats.
Closer on him. Brow furrows. He spins, jogs backwards,
His point-of-view: nothing unusual; traffic on the bridge, no
pedestrians particularly close.
Harry, mildly puzzled, slows and stops. He turns again.
Point-of-view up the bridge: empty.
Harry starts jogging again.
23 INT. COX BASEMENT - NIGHT 23
We are tracking toward the desk in the corner, at which Katie
sits. She cracks open a CD case and loads the CD into
Osbourne's computer. A suspense drone builds as we track in.
Katie starts typing, then suddenly stops. She holds still,
listening for noises in the house. Nothing. She resumes
We hear male voices beginning to swell in song. The voices
continue after the suspense drone snaps off, at the cut to:
24 INT. FENNINGER'S - NIGHT 24
A musty steakhouse. On the walls are hunting-scene prints
and steel engravings of English country houses.
A placard resting on a chair outside the Georgian Room:
CLOSED FOR PRIVATE PARTY.
From inside the room, male voices:
Tune every heart and every voice...
25 INT. FENNINGER'S - GEORGIAN ROOM - NIGHT 25
A dozen middle-aged men around a long table, each holding
high a glass.
... Bid every care withdraw. Let all
with one accord rejoice...
The men are sweaty, tie-loosened, dinner-stuffed and boozy.
... In praise of Old Nassau...
Close on Osbourne as a rotund middle-aged classmate fills his
glass to brimming. The two sway unsteadily with the music..
... In praise of Old Nassau my boys,
Hoo-rah, hoo-rah, hoorah!
All swing their glasses side-to-side in rhythm:
... Her sons... shall give... while
they... shall live...
Glasses are thrust high with a ringing finish:
... In praise of Old Nassau!
26 INT. EXAM ROOM - DAY 26
A WOMAN'S ASS
Bare. Pale. Middle-aged.
Someone with a marker is drawing on the flesh to illustrate:
We take all the chicken fat off your
buttocks, here... and here... And the
upper arms. And a little off your
The camera is arcing around a standing, naked, middle-aged
woman, to reveal the doctor sitting on a stool in the
examining room, facing her. He reaches forward again with
DOCTOR (OFF) (CONT'D)
...And we do breast augmentation with
a tiny incision here... and here.
Uh-huh. And what about the thigh
Well we can do liposuction there as
well, but that area will respond to
exercise. Buttocks and upper arms
begin to store more fat when you get
up around forty, the body just tells
it to go there, but the thighs will
respond to toning exercises.
Uh-huh. I know, I can work out on my
arms til the cows come home, but...
Uh-huh. And of course there are also
The Litzkes are big.
Uh-huh, well everything's----
My mom had an ass that could pull a
Wow. Well that's a predispo----
Father's side too, although Dad tends
to carry his weight in front of him.
In the gut area. Derriere, not so
The continuing track around is also booming up to reveal the
face of the patient, Linda Litzke.
And what about the face, you know, the
window to the soul.
Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Very well put. Well
your eyes are one of your best
features. But we can do something
about the incipient crow's feet.
Baby crow's feet. Little chickling's
feet. I mean chicks. Chickie chickie
Ha-ha, yes, again, well put. You have
a way with words. We cut here...
... And we pull the skin tight, like
stretching the skin over a drum. Not
too tight, though. We don't want that
"worked-on" look. You need sufficient
slack for the face to remain
Yeah, I don't wanna look like Boris
Uh-huh! Heh-heh, so you don't want a
No, I'm all woman!
27 INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE - DAY 27
Doctor and patient, now dressed, sit on either side of a
So Linda, what we're talking about
here is four different procedures.
(ticks them off)
The liposuction... The rhinoplasty...
The facial tuck, which I would
strongly recommend over the chemical
Yeah, I don't want to get anything
And why should you. With that lovely
skin. And lastly, the breast
augmentation. Now we can also do
something about the vaccine scar----I
don't know if you wear sleeveless
Not with these ham hocks!
Yes, well once they're nice and
svelte, post-op, you----
Well I don't know. Is the vaccine
thing----can you counsel me on this? I
don't know, is it unsightly? I see it
a lot, a bunch of people have it.
Absolutely! Some women don't mind it
at all! Personal taste!
28 INT. HARDBODIES - DAY 28
Linda Litzke, in a Hardbodies polo shirt with "Linda"
stitched on the breast, leans out of her semi-enclosed office
on the gym floor.
29 INT. HARDBODIES - GYM FLOOR - DAY 29
Chad Feldheimer, trainer, fortyish and well-muscled, has a
gym patron up on a table and is helping him stretch a leg
I'm sorry, was that too much?
I felt a straining... a tightness in
the... in the front of my ass...
Well you're pretty tight. You have to
feel it or----
(on the public address)
Chad Feldheimer. Office.
I'll be back in a minute. We'll work
on opening those hips.
30 INT. LINDA'S OFFICE - DAY 30
Linda is tapping at her computer as Chad enters.
I got a batch from BeWithMeDC dot com.
Chad perches on the desk, chewing gum as he gazes at the
Oh wow. Any good?
I don't know yet, just looking... How
do you open this?
Click on, uh... yeah...
Oh my god!
Oh my God, what a loser!
She clicks. Chad is laughing. Linda scowls.
... Loser!... What is this! They
should call this Mr. Saggy dot com.
Did you have to send a picture?
No, only guys do. I submitted a
verbal profile, turn-ons, turn-offs,
et cetera. I'm really looking for
someone with a sense of humor.
That guy----wait----that guy wasn't bad.
Yeah. He uh, he might not be a loser.
How can you tell?
That's a Brioni suit.
Does he look like he has a sense of
He looks like his optometrist has a
sense of humor.
Linda slaps his arm.
... Huh-huh-huh. What does he do?
His hair is... what is that?
31 INT. GYM - NEXT DAY 31
Linda is showing someone around the floor.
This is the cardio area. A lot of
machines here so that, believe me,
there's never a wait. What you're
seeing now, this is our busiest time,
and there's still a couple of open
treadmills I see, three Stairmasters----
I call it the Butt-Blaster----couple of
Chad is working with a medicine ball and a heavy young woman.
Hi Linda. Did you call that guy?
Not yet! Chad is one of our trainers.
I've just started internet dating and
I got my first look at the, uh...
BeWithMeDC dot com?
Have you used them?
No----two friends did and they're both
hooked up. With really special guys.
32 INT. LINDA'S OFFICE - LATER 32
Linda is leaning forward at her desk, phone wedged between
ear and shoulder, one hand up at her forehead.
After a long still beat:
Another still beat.
... Agent! Agent!
... Yes, hi, this is Linda Litzke,
should I give you my account number?
You have it up? Okay. I was informed
that I needed pre-approval for these
surgeries, and then... Yes, it was
...No, those are four different
operations... It's very complicated;
I'm reinventing myself, it's a whole
new look so it isn't just one thing,
however, it's all approved by my
doctor... But----madam! This is not----my
job involves, you know, public
interface! This is not...
Her jaw sets. She controls her fury. Quieter:
... Yes I do understand. Could I
speak to your supervisor please?
33 INT. TED'S OFFICE/LINDA'S OFFICE - DAY - MINUTES LATER 33
We are on a long lens point-of-view, from several cubicles
over, of Linda, now slumped at her desk, head in her arms.
We faintly hear her sobbing.
Reverse shows Ted Treffon, middle-aged, balding, the soulful
manager of Hardbodies. He looks at Linda, puzzled and a
little alarmed. He tenses as if to rise but doesn't, and
hovers uncomfortably, unsure of whether to intrude.
34 EXT. WASHINGTON MALL - DAY 34
Linda walks down the promenade dressed in a smart pant suit.
Her moving POV passes over a couple in conversation, an old
woman feeding the birds, a man in a business suit reading a
She passes the man and turns around. He has looked up from
the paper and is staring at her. He wears aviator-shaped
glasses with clear plastic rims. He may have hair plugs.
Are you, uh... Linda?
35 EXT. CIRCLE THEATRE - DUSK 35
A poster advertises Totally Stoked! with Dermot Mulroney and
36 INT. THEATRE - NIGHT 36
On the screen, Dermot Mulroney, dressed in a tuxedo, cranes
his head to look steeply up and off.
Linda sits next to Alan in the half-empty theatre, nervously
watching the screen.
First you tell me that you can't
commit, then you----WOULD YOU GET DOWN
Linda laughs raucously, then catches herself and looks at
37 INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT 37
The couple sit across from each other at a small table. They
pick at their food.
38 INT. LINDA'S APARTMENT/BEDROOM - NIGHT 38
The couple are making love in the dark room on a frilly
comforter. Alan, still wearing his glasses, wheezes
39 INT. LINDA'S APARTMENT/BEDROOM - LATER 39
Alan is snoring. After a long beat Linda gets up and puts on
a robe. She bends down near the bed and picks something up
out of Alan's trousers.
40 INT. LINDA'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT 40
She sits into a chair near the window in the dark room and
opens Alan's wallet. A Discover card, driver's license, a
condom. A photograph of Alan holding a large bluefish.
She unfolds a piece of notepaper. Written in a feminine hand
Please pick up:
Honey Nut Cheerios.
Oh for Pete's sake!
She catches herself, looks around.
The snoring, off, continues.
She looks out the window.
The lights of the freeway twinkle.
41 INT. YACHT - NIGHT 41
We are in the bedroom. The boat rides gently at anchor.
Harry has an arm around Katie, in bed. Both stare at a point
After a beat that is silent except for the faint sloshing of
water against hull:
... and then, you know, you grow up.
I guess that's what's happened with
me. You just... people change. We
married when I was, what, in my mid-
twenties. A kid. We were kids.
Twenties. You think it's forever.
Then, you know, you're older----you
begin to feel your mortality, you
start to think, well, there's no more
time for dishonesty. Subterfuge. You
go, I'm not that person. The choices
you made, you can't, just through
I'm thinking of divorcing Ozzie.
Harry doesn't react----a careful, studied non-reaction. After
... I'm just thinking, Whoa. I mean,
frankly, I'm thinking, Whoa. I, I, I
guess that's what I should be thinking
about too. With Sandy.
That's what you were just saying.
Yes! Absolutely! And you should be
getting rid of that bozo. No
question about that. I agree.
So if I were divorced----
Well yes, if you were uh, you know,
yes. Yes, I should settle things.
With Sandy. Because of you and me.
It just takes, courage, you know. To
inflict that pain. Scary stuff.
Scary stuff. You're a brave lady.
Well, of course, it would be easier
Why's that? I don't see that.
Well you know, because he's such a
But Sandy, she's... a good lady. A
very special lady.
She's a cold, stuck-up bitch.
Well that's... a little----
You and I should sort things out.
I've told you that this is not just
No, that's understood. You've been
I thought I was loud and clear.
Absolutely. Not just fun and games.
Awkward beat. The sloshing of waves. Harry nods.
42 INT. HOME DEPOT - DAY 42
Harry Pfarrer pulls a length of metal tubing from a shelf.
He sights down it, examines the gauge, hefts it.
He slides it back in and pulls a length, wider gauge, from
the shelf below.
43 EXT. HOME DEPOT - DAY 43
Long lens, hand-held, point-of-view seeming: Harry is pushing
a red shopping cart through the parking lot. Standing in the
cart are lengths of metal tubing that he steadies with one
hand as he pushes.
44 INT. LINDA LITZKE'S CUBICLE - DAY 44
Linda has a hand cupped to her forehead and the phone pressed
to one ear.
English!... Agent!... Agent!...
After a short beat she hits a button on the phone console and
cradles the handset. From the speaker we hear:
----important to us. Please stay on the
line for the next available agent.
Linda listens for a moment, then abruptly lifts the handset
and slams it back down.
45 INT. HARDBODIES - TED'S CUBICLE - DAY 45
TRACKING IN ON TED'S CUBICLE
Ted Treffon, the soulful manager of Hardbodies, stands with
one hand on the back of his chair----which Chad occupies----and
one hand on the desktop, looking over Chad's shoulder at a
computer screen that Chad is scrolling down. Standing behind
both men is a short Mexican Indian man, also in a Hardbodies
Ted, can I talk to you about our
Mickey Mouse health plan?
Ted continues to stare at the computer screen in mounting
alarm. He responds absently to Linda:
Uh-huh... Hang on...
Yellow Revision 8/24/07 31.
This is some heavy shit.
Is that my date list?
You know, I'm trying to reinvent
myself, and these procedures, which
are so incredibly not cheap, this
Micky Mouse HMO is saying they're not,
they're... What is this?
She is looking at the screen.
I can't believe this... This is
like... intelligence shit.
I am not comfortable with this.
What is it?
This is, like, I can't believe this
shit I'm seeing.
Manolo found it.
Manolo found this, like, CD just lying
in a locker. Locker floor. Ladies'
Jus lie-een there.
And I'm like, whoa, someone's music or
what, so I come in here and it's these
I am not comfortable with this. *
Yellow Revision 8/24/07 32.
Like it's talking about SigInt, and
signals and shit. Which, Signals
means code, you know.
It was jus lie-een there.
Talking about like, section heads
here, and their names and shit. And
then these other files are just, like,
numbers. Arrayed. Numbers and dates
and numbers... And numbers. I think *
that's the shit, man. The raw
I am not touching this. I want this
out of here.
Wul... Throw it out?
You can't do that! You should put a
note up in the ladies' locker room.
Put a note up? Highly classified shit
found, Signals intelligence shit, CIA
shit? Hello! Did you lose your
secret CIA shit? I don't think so.
Look, you figure it out, I am not
comfortable with this. I want this *
out of Hardbodies...
As he backs out of the office:
... We're running a gym here!
Chad swivels around.
He zippers his lip.
...you didn't find this.
I found it on the floor there.
Yeah, I know, but
Right there on the floor there. Lie-
46 INT. HARRY'S CAR - DAY 46
CLOSE ON A REAR-VIEW MIRROR
A dark blue Ford Taurus, three or four car lengths back on a
quiet Chevy Chase street.
Harry Pfarrer glances at the rear view mirror. Behind him we
see the steel pipe from Home Depot laying across the top of
the back seat of the station wagon.
47 EXT. CHEVY CHASE HOUSE - DAY 47
Harry is just getting out of the wagon which is parked in the
driveway of the suburban house.
48 INT. HOUSE - DAY 48
Harry is struggling through the front door with the length
We hear his wife call down from upstairs:
Harry? Is that you?
Yeah, yeah, it's me.
He takes the pipe, opens the staircase door to the cellar,
sets the pipe inside on the upper stair, and closes the door
49 INT. CELLAR - NIGHT 49
Harry is at a workbench welding a length of trimmed pipe to a
short piece of hardware clamped in a table vise.
His home shop is in a caged-off section of the basement.
There is also haphazard storage.
Yellow Revision 8/24/07 34.
One shelf holds stacked boxes labeled with magic marker:
"Oliver in the Oval Office," "Yea and Nay for Oliver,"
"Point of Order, Oliver!"
Harry loosens the vise and takes out the piece of hardware.
He drops it, a small bearing-mounted clip, onto a length of
pipe held horizontal in another vise. He experimentally
slides the clip along the length of pipe: it slides smoothly
back and forth, nicely balanced.
50 INT. MONKEY DAVE'S - NIGHT 50
Linda Litzke and Ted Treffon, the soulful manager of
Hardbodies, are at a table in the yuppie bar Monkey Dave's.
To a waitress:
Absolut Saketini, please?
Just a Tab.
You know, it wouldn't cover all of it,
but if I got some advance on my salary
I could at least get the surgery ball
Whoa! There's a payroll company, you
know. They don't just advance people
money. They just don't do that. I
mean, sure, I could say, Yes, I *
authorize it, but that's not going to
mean anything to them.
Well why do they have us on a
cockamamie health plan? I need these
You're a beautiful woman! You don't
Ted, I have gone just as far as I can
go with this body! I----
I think it's a very beautiful----it's
not a phoney-baloney Hollywood body----
Yellow Revision 8/24/07 35.
That's right, Ted, I would be laughed
out of Hollywood. I have very limited
breasts and a gi-normous ass and I
have this gut that swings back and
forth in front a me like a shopping
cart with a bent wheel.
Oh come on!
I am trying to get back in
circulation. I have appetites and so
forth, and, uh----
Well there's a lot of guys who'd like
you just the way you are.
Well, I don't know. Am I a loser?
Lemme tell you something. I wasn't
always a manager at Hardbodies. I,
He looks at her, appraising. He decides.
TED (CONT'D) *
Let me show you something.
He reaches into his wallet. He pulls out a picture:
A snapshot of a soulful man in a dark robe and a high caftan
standing on a curb in front of a large stone building.
Omygod----is that you?!
Ted nods gravely.
Fourteen years, a Greek Orthodox
priest. Congregation in Chevy Chase.
Well jeez, that's a good job!
He looks at the picture for a sad beat, then shrugs. He
stuffs it back in his wallet.
... It's a long story. Anyway, lotta
ways I'm happier now. My point is...
my point is... it's a journey.
Well that's my point! I don't want to
stay where I am! I want to find
someone to share my journey!
Well, sometimes, you know, you don't
look in your own back yard, you're
never gonna see----
That's right! That's why I've started
this internet dating!
Uh-huh, but I'm saying, maybe you
don't have to, you know... to----
Look Ted, I know you can't authorize
an advance on my salary but you can
put in a request, can't you?
It's not going to do any good, Linda.
Ted, have you ever heard of the power
of positive thinking?
51 INT. LINDA'S APARTMENT - NIGHT 51
It is night. Linda sleeps in a darkened bedroom under the
frilly comforter. We hear a distant banging. Finally the
banging stops and a moment later the telephone rings.
Linda stirs, wakes and reaches for the bedside phone.
She removes an appliance from her mouth.
Hello?... Where are you?... Okay.
Just a second.
52 INT. APARTMENT STAIRWELL - NIGHT 52
We hear a door being buzzed open. At the top of the staircase
an apartment door opens and Linda appears in a robe.
Her POV down the steep staircase: Chad Feldheimer is walking
up towards the landing dressed in a black lycra bicycle
unitard with lime green flames. He holds a bike wheel in one
hand and a plastic squirt bottle in the other.
He looks up, foreshortened.
53 INT. LINDA'S APARTMENT - MOMENTS LATER 53
Chad enters with his bicycle wheel and squirt bottle. Linda
shuts the door behind him.
Chad, you know what time it is?
Uh-huh. So, like, I couldn't tell you
this on your totally unsecure phone,
but I know who the guy is.
He leans his wheel against the wall and sits on a low chair
that brings his knees up near his chin. He looks smugly at
The guy, the secret guy.
Is he high up?
A beat. Chad stares.
Um. I don't know if he's high up.
Probably. I mean, I know his name,
not like his rank.
What is it?
Never heard of him.
Oh, like you're so plugged in to the
I'm just saying, to the layman----
Well I think like the quality of the
intelligence dictates how high up he
Not what we know.
And I also got his----do you have any
water? I gotta hydrate.
I have tap water
Are you kidding?
How did you find out who he is?
What do you mean sources?
Do you have like Gatorade? Anything
besides, like, Maryland swamp water?
He rises and heads for the kitchen.
... You know how far this is from my
How do you know his name?
I have this geek friend, Ernie
Gallegos? He does computer stuff,
hooks up people's computers and
programs their VCRs'n shit? So he
examines the files and he pulls off
the digital watermark that tells what
computer they were created on.
Fucking child's play for Ernie.
Chad opens the refrigerator and starts rummaging.
I also have his telephone number.
That was a little harder.
Chad straightens up with a bottle of orange juice which he
rolls across his forehead.
Shall we give him a tinkle?
Yellow Revision 8/24/07 40.
Because he's gonna wanna know that his
shit is secure. You know, he's gonna
be relieved. He might even be so
relieved he gives us a reward----I would
be very fucking surprised if he did
Very surprised. Like, you know, the *
Good Samaritan tax. Which is not even
a tax, really, since it's voluntary.
54 INT. KITCHEN - MOMENTS LATER 54
Chad is looking at a crumpled piece of notepaper and punching
numbers into a wall phone. In the background we see Linda
watching him from the living room couch.
We hear the call ring through.
The click of the connection being made, and Chad silently
gestures, with an upward sweep of his hand, for Linda to pick
up her extension.
55 INT. OSBOURNE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT 55
He has the phone pressed groggily to his ear.
Osbourne? Osbourne Cox?
Yes----uh----Who is this?
Are you... uh... Osbourne Cox?
Who is this? What time is it? Who
I'm a Good Samaritan. I'm sorry I'm
calling at such an hour, but I thought
you might be worried.
About the security. Of your shit.
What on earth are you talking about?
Who am I speaking to?
Katie stirs in bed.
Who is it?
Your files----your documents. I know
these documents are sensitive. But I
am perfectly happy to return to you
your sensitive shit. At a time of
What documents? What are you talking
... Osbourne Cox?
Yes! Yes, I'm Osbourne Cox! Who the
Settle down, Osbourne.
Who is that?
What documents are you talking about?
Yellow Revision 8/24/07 42.
(referring to his
OK. "The bureau chief in Belgrade we *
all called Slovak the Butcher. He had
very little report with his staff,
and his despatches were marked by----
Ra-por, very little rapport with his
staff, you fucking moron! How did
Don't blow a gasket, Osbourne. I
How did you get a hold of that!
It's not important where I----
You're in way over your fucking head!
Who the fuck are you? You have no
idea what you're doing!
Oh! Why so uptight, Osbourne Cox?
I'm just a Good Samaritan, like, a
traveler on the road who has happened
We're going to return it, we just
Linda, I'll do it!
Ozzie, what is going on.
Like a Good Samaritan tax----
Who the fuck----
You know, this is a major
inconvenience for us and we thought,
you know, a reward----
So it's money! So it's money!
Well, yeah, uh... why not? I mean,
this is not----am I out of line here?
All right, you two clowns listen to me
very very carefully. I don't know who
you are, but I warn you most
You warn us? You warn us? You know
what, Mr., Mr. Intelligence? We warn
you! We'll call you back with our
She slams down the phone.
Hello? We just----
Chad! Don't play his game!
(into the phone as he
hangs it up)
He walks back into the living room shaking his head.
The nerve of that guy!
... I am very fucking surprised he did
not give us the reward.
56 THE COX BEDROOM - NIGHT 56
Osbourne sits on the edge of his bed in the dark room,
shaking his head.
What in God's name is going on?
There's some clown----a couple of clowns
----somehow got a hold of my memoir----
Stole it or----I have no idea how they
My memoir, the book I'm writing.
Why in God's name would they think
that's worth anything.
Well they----I... I've no idea how they
57 INT. LINDA'S APARTMENT 57
Chad paces, shaking his head.
But it doesn't sound like he's gonna
Oh, he'll play ball! We just have to
let him know who's boss.
Well, that's----he sounds very senior.
I think this is some senior guy who
has screwed the pooch, big-time.
Blue Revision 8/1/07 45.
Yeah, that's why we got him, you know,
we've caught him with his thing caught
in a big fat wringer.
And us in the driver's seat. This is
our opportunity, like, you don't get
many of these. You slip on the ice
outside of, you know, a fancy
Or this happens.
And right now this has happened.
Yup. It sure has.
This could put a big dent in my
58 INT. PFARRER CELLAR - DAWN 58 *
We are dutch on her as she leans down a staircase, one hand
on its rail, calling to be heard over the buzz of a bandsaw:
No answer. The bandsaw whines higher, cutting through steel.
Blue Revision 8/1/07 46.
The whine hums down.
My cab is here, I'm off. Mystery man.
Her point-of-view: down the stairs, oddly cropped by the
angles of dropped ceiling and walls, we see Harry's lower
body as he throws a drape over his project. He emerges from
the shop cage and closes its mesh door and padlocks it.
... What is that thing?
Oh baby. Top secret.
He comes up the stairs, pushing goggles onto his forehead.
... You're gonna knock 'em dead.
At the top of the stairs he kisses her.
... How many cities?
Seattle, San Francisco, Los Angeles,
He picks up her bag and they go out.
Why do they always have you do
Seattle. Not a big market.
I don't know, lots of independent
bookstores. Rains all day, what are
people gonna do.
I can think of a couple of things.
You can think of one thing.
59 EXT. PFARRER HOUSE - DAWN 59 *
They are walking to a black Town Car idling curbside.
Pink Revision 8/14/07 47.
It better be the Peninsula. The money
I make for them. Are you gonna be
I'll be sad. But I'll be okay.
Not too sad..
Just the right amount.
He kisses her.
... I am crazy about you, baby.
He slams the car door after her. As the car pulls out his
look travels with it and then lingers up the street, caught
A Ford Taurus, parked, dark.
Harry hesitates, then starts walking up the street towards
the parked car.
When he has taken several steps the ignition is turned in the
car. A shape briefly visible in the driver's seat is lost
when the headlights flash on. The car pulls out from the
curb into a U-turn and drives away.
Harry watches the tail lights recede.
60 INT. LAW FIRM - CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY 60
CLOSE ON A THUMB AND FINGER
Twisting a gold cufflink like a worry bead. Wider shows the
attorney Bogus Terikhian at a conference table in a book-
Tony Bennett, Toni Morrison and Zoe *
Caldwell. It was marvelous. First *
time I've attended the Kennedy Honors.
Jane Alexander is a client. Old *
friend of Zoe's. What an actress. *
He leans forward and presses a button on his phone console.
Pink Revision 8/14/07 48.
... Connie, could you bring in your
copy of the Cox financials?
61 INT. LAW FIRM - OUTER OFFICE - DAY 61
The secretary rummages through a gym bag that has the
Hardbodies logo. There are gym clothes among the odds and
ends. She picks up her handset.
I thought I had it here on a disk----I
don't know where the disk is. I'm
sorry, I'll have to run another off my
62 INT. LAW FIRM - INNER OFFICE - DAY 62
Bogus is leaning back, expansive.
Tony sang "The Best Is Yet To Come." *
He projects toward the phone:
BACK TO KATIE:
So. We've drawn up the papers and are
prepared to execute service on
Osbourne if you so elect, Mrs. Cox.
Our missiles are pointed at his
capital, so to speak, and we await
only your word. But, be mindful,
madam: once these missiles are
launched, there is no recalling them.
We are not picking daisies. We are
declaring war, and hostilities will
then impose their own logic. I think
you understand what I'm saying.
It'll piss Ozzie off.
Mr. Terikhian, I have given my husband
second chances galore. There are
limits to my charity.
Of course. But since we are at the
point of no return, I always urge my
clients at this juncture to give it
one more day of reflection.
63 EXT. WASHINGTON MALL - DAY 63
Linda walks down the promenade, dressed in a smart pant suit.
Her moving POV passes over people relaxing in the park: a
mother with a stroller, kids running with a ball. Her look
settles on the bench that formerly held her first date, now
A man spitting sunflower seeds. Harry Pfarrer.
The point-of-view arcs past him as Linda gives him the once-
She doubles back.
Harry? I'm Linda.
64 INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT 64
Harry and Linda eat with appetite as they talk.
Yeah, I did the whole bodyguard thing
for years. My guy was in State, the
Secretary in fact, so of course I
traveled a lot.
Harry talks into his sleeve-cuff as if into a radio
..."Ironside is leaving the building."
We called him Iron Ass.
Pink Revision 8/14/07 50.
... Not to his face, of course. Not
to his ass, either!
Linda cackles again; Harry smiles.
... Ah, he was okay. But, Personal
Protection----that's a young man's game.
You wanna try these dumplings? They're *
He reaches but hesitates.
... Does it have shellfood in it? *
`Cause I have this sensitivity. I, uh, *
go into anaphylactic shock. My larynx *
swells up, closes off the----Ah what the *
He spears a dumpling: *
HARRY (CONT'D) *
Live dangerously---- *
Through a mouthful: *
HARRY (CONT'D) *
... Can't always wear a condom.
That's right! Not always!
Anyway, my job's more administrative *
now, not so much PP. Personal *
Protection. Though I still carry the
Pink Revision 8/14/07 50A.
(still chewing, he shrugs)
It's no big deal. Never discharged
it, twenty years service. Security
blanket now. I don't think about it----
course, you're not supposed to think
Pink Revision 8/14/07 51.
in a situation where your man is
threatened the training kicks in.
Muscle memory. Reflex----Those are
He stabs another dumpling off Linda's plate. *
... Wanna swap?
65 INT. LINDA'S APARTMENT - NIGHT 65
Linda swings the door open, leading Harry in.
Harry talks as he looks appraisingly around the apartment.
----but there was just a hell of a lot
of political infighting, petty, petty,
shit, and then basically the old man
stepped on Goldberger's throat.
He is evaluating the place. He stamps on the floor.
... Wide-plank pine?
Harry is taking off his coat.
Listen, full disclosure here Linda...
He holds up both hands and waggles the fingers.
... I'm not wearing a wedding ring but
I am married. Took the ring off,
what, eighteen months ago when we
agreed to separate. Agreed to
disagree. That's about the only thing
we ever agreed on.
Thanks for telling me. I really do
appreciate it, Harry.
Well, full transparency, the only way
As Linda passes he grabs and embraces her. Linda reacts to
his gun in the shoulder holster:
That's not gonna go off, is it?
Well let's go in the other room and
find out! Grrr!
66 INT. TED'S OFFICE - DAY 66
The soulful manager of Hardbodies.
That's great. That sounds...
Wider shows Linda in the manager's cubicle.
He's very very communicative. Very
accessible. He has a sense of humor.
And he agrees one hundred percent
about my surgeries.
He thinks my ass could be smaller. I
mean, not in a mean way, he kidded
about it----he's got a terrific sense of
That's good, but... but... Linda, what
do you really know about this guy?
I told you, he's in the Treasury
Department and he----
But he could be one of these people
who, you know, who cruises the
Yeah, so am I!
A rattling knock. Linda looks over:
Chad Feldheimer, in his trainer's polo shirt, is knocking on
the cubicle window. He gestures urgently for her to come
67 EXT. SERVICE ALLEY - DAY 67
Behind Hardbodies. Linda and Chad emerge from the health
club through a heavy back door.
No, you can't go like that! You gotta
wear a suit.
Well----you mean----go home and change?
I was gonna ride my bike. Do I have
68 INT. DOWNTOWN RESTAURANT - DAY 68
Harry and Katie are at a downtown D.C. restaurant in the
middle of lunch.
----which to my mind is all the more
reason to lower the boom on Ozzie.
That's it? "Mm"?
I'm just... wondering if it's the
Of course it's the right time. Why
wouldn't it be the right time. Does
it threaten you?
No no. No, you and me are rock solid.
That's why I, uh, I think we can
afford to be big. We can think about
Ozzie, whether maybe we should let him
get himself together a little before
you hammer him with, um----
Is that how you see me, "hammering"
Of course not, but----
Weren't those your words?
I don't "hammer."
No, uh-huh, of course not. But, I'm
saying----I'm no friend of the guy. You
know that. I think he's an arrogant
little geek. But for Christ sakes,
you and me have all the time in the
world, and he just lost his job----
He didn't lose it, he quit.
Yeah. Most of the people who "quit"
in this town were fired.
Katie looks at Harry, reckoning. He returns her look with an
... I feel sorry for the guy. And
he'll be easier to deal with when he
doesn't feel... cornered.
Maybe. As long as we're talking about
Ozzie and not you.
Of course we're talking about Ozzie.
Baby, I stand by you whatever you do.
I adore you.
She nods, thinking, still gazing at him. Her cell phone
chirps and she reaches into her purse.
Please get the check.
She flips open the phone.
...Yes?... Yes?... Is there blood in
his stool?...Yes, soon.
She looks at her watch, rises.
It's after two. I have to get back to
Harry rises to kiss her.
I love you so much.
69 INT./EXT. COX'S CAR/STREET - DAY 69
CLOSE ON A WATCH
Wider shows Osbourne Cox, sitting in a car parked on a
downtown street, consulting his watch.
He looks up, irritated, and glances around. His look is
The side-view mirror. It shows a man approaching on bicycle
along the sidewalk wearing a suit and a bike helmet. The man
dismounts several paces behind the parked car, locks his bike
to a fence separating the sidewalk from a small park, and
takes off his helmet. It is Chad.
He walks along the sidewalk to the car, opens the passenger
door and sits in with his bike helmet clamped under one arm.
And you, I take it, are "Mr. Black"?
Yes I am. You have the money?
The fifty-thousand dollars.
That's what was agreed upon, Osbourne
All right. Let me explain something
to you, "Mr. Black." You know who I
am; I know who you are.
Perhaps. But appearances can be----
Yeah. What you're engaged in is
blackmail, which is a felony. That's
Appearances can be----deceptive. I am a
mere Good Samar----
Secondly, the unauthorized
dissemination of classified material
is a federal crime. If you ever
carried out your proposed threat, you
would experience such a shitstorm of
consequences, my friend, it would make
your empty little head spin faster
than your Schwinn bicycle over there.
You think that's a Schwinn?
Now give me the fucking floppy or the
CD or whatever the fuck you have it
on, and I will----
As soon as you give me the money,
dickwad! I'm not----Huhgf!
Osbourne has punched him in the nose.
Chad stares at him, stunned.
His nose starts bleeding.
... You fuck!
Give it to me, fuck!
You fuck! You fucker!
He opens the car door and gets out, hand to his nose.
He slams the door.
70 EXT. STREET/COX'S CAR - DAY 70
As Chad goes over to his bike Osbourne leans across the front
seat and cranks down the passenger window to bellow:
I know who you are, fucker!
He pulls out.
You're the fucker!
There is the honk of a car horn----not Osbourne's.
Chad looks, surprised. Linda is pulling up. Her passenger
window rolls down.
Where's the money?
He hit me!
Where's the money?!
He didn't give it to me
Oh, for----Get in!
71 INT. LINDA'S CAR/EXT. STREET - DAY 71
He is thrown back against the seat as Linda floors it.
... Hey----what're you----
Linda is coming up fast behind Osbourne's car in traffic.
The crash of impact----ramming Osbourne.
72 INT. OSBOURNE'S CAR/EXT. STREET - DAY 72
He recoils from the impact.
Holy fucking----you fucking morons!
A72 HIS CAR-TO-CAR POV A72
The follow car is speeding up again----but it doesn't hit him.
It swerves out, screeching, to pass, and Linda angrily flips
him the finger as she speeds by.
73 INT. LINDA'S CAR - DAY 73
That'll give him something to think
Chad is chuckling. Suddenly he sobers.
Wait, wait! We gotta go back!
Linda's jaw is set. The car is ripping through traffic.
Yellow Revision 8/24/07 59.
I knew this would happen.
We gotta go back! My bike!
It's on to Plan B.
It's just a Kryptonite lock----you can
open those fuckers with a Bic pen!
Where we going? My bike!
A skidding turn sends his weight against the door, and the
car lurches to a halt.
... What is this?
A73 INT. LINDA'S CAR/EXT. RUSSIAN EMBASSY - DAY A73
CHAD'S POV THRU WINDSHIELD
The hulking embassy building.
74 INT. EMBASSY RECEPTION - DAY 74
Linda stands before a reception desk. Chad is just behind
her, his shirt front spotted with blood and his head tipped
back with one hand pressing a hankie to his nose. His bike
helmet is clamped under his other arm.
I told Mr. Krapkin I might be stopping *
Is there a men's room?
75 INT. MR. KRAPOTKIN'S OFFICE - DAY 75
Linda and Chad sit in, Chad with a moistened hand-towel now
pressed to his nose.
Behind the desk sits a sixtyish Russian functionary with the
beetle-browed sphynx-like look of the Brezhnev-era
bureaucrat. This is Krapotkin.
----Not exactly. I am assistant
cultural attaché. The organs of state
security are not allowed to function
within the borders of your country.
... The organs of state security?
But if I had, oh, say, secrets of a
highly, um, secrets that would
interest the organs of state
She trails off, nodding encouragingly at Krapotkin.
Krapotkin looks blankly back.
A long beat.
She rummages in her handbag and pulls out the diskette. She
holds it aloft, waggling it for Krapotkin.
Linda sets the diskette on the table and slides it across.
... This is just a taste.
After a beat of looking at the proffered diskette, Krapotkin
leans forward to take it. Linda smiles. Krapotkin turns the
diskette over a couple of times, looks sadly up.
May I ask the source of this...
Linda slowly shakes her head, eyes locked on Krapotkin.
Yellow Revision 8/24/07 61.
No you may not.
Very high up.
I'm just saying he's high up!
A large drop of blood has gathered at the tip of Chad's nose.
It now drops onto his shirt.
PC or Meck?
Um. PC. *
Could you wait please?
She looks anxiously at her watch.
... I have a date----
When the door closes behind him:
LINDA (CONT'D) *
The fish. Has bitten. *
What? Oh, yeah. Yeah, he seems cool.
A long beat. Linda looks at her watch.
... That fucker really hit me.
76 INT. MR. KRAPOTKIN'S OFFICE - DAY - MANY MINUTES LATER 76
Chad is slumped back with his head tilted back. Linda looks
at her watch.
The door opens. A man in a suit:
Could you accompany me please?
77 INT. EMBASSY HALLWAY - DAY 77
The three people----Linda, Chad, the man in the suit----walking.
Linda gazes around; Chad has his head mostly back.
78 INT. ANOTHER EMBASSY OFFICE - DAY 78
Vladimir Putin glares down from a framed photograph on the
wall. Chad and Linda are sitting before yet another man, even
blander than the first.
NEW EMBASSY MAN
Can you tell me where this material
Linda makes a pantomime of zipping her lip.
The man looks at her impassively.
Name, rank and serial number.
The Russian's focus shifts to the man with the bloody nose:
NEW EMBASSY MAN
We, um... we know our rights.
The man stares at him. A beat.
This is just a taste.
The man's look swings back to the woman for another staring
Yellow Revision 8/24/07 63.
NEW EMBASSY MAN
There is more material?
There's a lot more. But we need to be
NEW EMBASSY MAN
You are not ideological.
I don't think so.
Look, I have a date.
NEW EMBASSY MAN
Linda holds up her watch and taps at it:
The man sighs.
NEW EMBASSY MAN
... We will examine the material. How
do I contact?
We work at the Hardbodies in
I'm at 1442 Westerly----
Chad, not your home address!
NEW EMBASSY MAN
So... I call Hardbodies, I ask for...
No. Linda. *
79 INT. LINDA'S CAR/EXT. HARDBODIES - DAY 79
Point-of-view from a car pulling into Hardbodies. Ted
Treffon, the soulful manager, stands on the sidewalk in front
of the gym, squinting into the approaching car, his arms out
to either side, palms up: what the hell is going on?
80 INT. TED'S CUBICLE - DAY 80
A line to check in, towels piling up.
Manolo running around like crazy----what
happened to your nose?
This is not acceptable at Hardbodies.
You two know better than that.
Yes we do. I'm sorry, Ted.
This is no way.
It was unavoidable. This won't happen
A considering beat.
But you won't tell me what's going on.
We can't. I... I... Ted, I know this
is terrible, but----I have to run. I
have a date.
Ted looks at her dolefully.
You're changing, Linda.
Blue Revision 8/1/07 65.
He shakes his head.
... Very sad.
81 EXT. COX TOWNHOUSE - OSBOURNE'S CAR - DAY 81 *
The car is parked in the driveway of the Cox townhouse, its
Reverse shows Katie, looking at it, furious, her jaw set.
82 INT. COX TOWNHOUSE - DAY 82 *
Katie marches in the door.
Ozzie! Goddamnit, Ozzie, what have
you done to the car?!
83 INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY 83 *
Osbourne, lightly sheened by sweat, is in the easy chair in
his robe, his microcassette recorder under the hand splayed
across his chest. Amber fluid puddles a glass on the side
table. Osbourne snores softly.
Katie's fury mounts. She visibly fights it down.
... All right. All right.
84 INT. PFARRER BATHROOM - DAY 84 *
In Harry Pfarrer's house. Harry stands before the mirror
humming as he meticulously trims his eyebrow hair with a
We hear his phone ringing, then the answering machine:
Sandy and I aren't here to take your
call. Please leave a message.
Blue Revision 8/1/07 66.
After a beep:
Can I see you please. Harry, please
call me. I'm very upset.
Harry continues to hum, trimming his eyebrows. The machine
85 INT. PFARRER LIVING ROOM - DAY 85 *
Harry walks into the living room. He takes some as-yet-
unfolded packing boxes and strews them with studied
randomness across the floor. As he does so we hear a cell
Harry fishes the phone out of his pocket and holds it at
arm's length, squinting at the number. Still humming, he
stuffs the phone back in his pocket.
86 EXT. STREET/CIRCLE THEATRE - NIGHT 86
Linda meets Harry with a kiss.
I'm sorry----am I late?
No no, doesn't start for five minutes.
He is escorting to a movie theater entrance.
... You haven't seen this, have you?
Oh! No, no I haven't.
Our follow-move brings in a light box displaying the one-
sheet for Totally Stoked! with Dermot Mulroney and Claire
As they tail out of frame:
I hear it's terrific.
87 INT. AUDITORIUM - NIGHT 87
On the screen, Dermot Mulroney, dressed in a tuxedo, cranes
his head to look steeply up and off.
First you tell me that you can't
commit, then you----WOULD YOU GET DOWN
Along with Linda, Harry laughs raucously, tossing popcorn
into his mouth.
88 INT. HARRY'S CHEVY CHASE HOUSE - NIGHT 88
The door swings in and Harry and Linda enter. Harry refers
to the boxes littering the floor:
Pardon our dust, I, uh----the ex is in
the process of moving out. Damn! I
told her I wanted to expedite this.
We, uh, you know you try to act like
Oh, it's never easy.
Oh! Come on downstairs. Do you like
Well, I'm very open to new
89 INT. PFARRER BASEMENT - NIGHT 89
The overhead light is switched on.
As Harry and Linda come down the stairs:
I gotta tell ya----I saw an ad for this
in a gentleman's magazine----twelve
hundred bucks. I take a look at this
thing, I think, Jesus, you gotta be
kidding----I'm a hobbyist, this is
basically nothing but speed-rail, I
could probably go to Home Depot and
whip this up myself for, like, a
He sweeps the drop-cloth off his project.
It looks like a rowing machine, though with a higher seat.
Its function is obscure.
... What is it?
What is it. You siddown, feet in the
He pushes the seat with his foot. It slides forward then
back, forward and back, rocking. On its forward arc a dildo
emerges from the center of the seat's pipe-track, angled
toward the seat-bottom which is cleft to accommodate its
A long beat as the seat squeaks back and forth, the dildo
rhythmically bobbing up and down.
Another couple of cycles.
... It's fantastic!
Isn't that somethin'? Hundred bucks
all-in if you don't count my labor.
And the, you know----cost of the dildo.
Those things are not cheap.
But I lack the, uh, I'm not set up to
mold hard rubber.
Both stare at the rocking love seat:
Squeak. Squeak. Squeak.
90 INT. BAR - NIGHT 90
CLOSE ON OSBOURNE
Sitting in a bar booth, staring, incredulous.
... The Russians?
Across from him, a man of Osbourne's age.
Uh-huh. Russian Embassy, yeah.
... You're sure?
Hey, the guy was not hard to follow.
As you know.
Why the FUCK would they go to the
The man responds only with a shrug and a commiserating head-
... Why the FUCK...
Osbourne struggles to compose himself.
... I'm sorry. Thank you, Hal.
Hey. No problemo.
He leans in, voice lowered.
... Ozzie, I hate to be the paranoid
old spook, but those two guys seem
very interested in you.
...You haven't gone poofy on me, have
There are two men with drinks at a booth. At Osbourne's look
one of them, who has been staring, looks hastily away.
Can I help you?
The man meets his look again. He smiles, rises, ambles over.
MAN (PROCESS SERVER)
Sorry to stare, I just couldn't place
the... You're Princeton, aren't you?
My year? '73?
I just didn't remember your...
Osbourne extends a hand.
He smiles as he deposits a large manila envelope in
Osbourne's extended hand.
PROCESS SERVER (CONT'D)
He nods toward his companion, watching from the booth.
PROCESS SERVER (CONT'D)
... and witnessed. Have a good
The man walks off; his friend hastily knocks back the rest of
his drink and rises to follow him.
Osbourne stares stupidly at the envelope in his hand.
91 INT. COX'S CAR/EXT. COX'S TOWNHOUSE - NIGHT 91
THRU A WINDSHIELD
The car corners into a driveway and its headlights rake the
front of the Cox townhouse, which is dark. A couple of
pieces of luggage and several cardboard boxes are stacked on
the stoop, most of them protected from the rain by the eave
but some not.
What the fuck?
The car stops. Osbourne emerges, runs through the rain to
the front stoop. Rain drums against cardboard.
What the fuck?
He puts his key in the lock and----it doesn't turn.
He nudges a cardboard box with his toe.
He looks up at the dark house, squinting against the rain.
92 INT. JAMBA JUICE - DAY 92
Linda and Chad sit at the counter, Linda drinking a large
protein shake, Chad idly twirling a straw wrapper around one
Why did you tell him we could get more
Well maybe we can.
That's all Manolo found! That was
everything! What're we, gonna tell
Manolo to scoop some more secret shit
off the locker room floor!
Yellow Revision 8/24/07 72.
I don't like the snideness! Nor the *
I'm just trying to work this thing!
If I'm going to reinvent myself I need
those surgeries. And those surgeries
cost money! This is not just fun and
Yuh-huh. I'm sorry.
So let's figure this thing out!
Chad, your Berry Blast is ready.
We know who he is
Right: Osbourne Cox.
So we can find out where he lives,
Um. I guess.
You should change. Into your suit.
So you don't look out of place in the
neighborhood. There are certain
Yellow Revision 8/24/07 73.
Yes. We'll remove the laundry marks
and labels. And you should not be
Laundry marks? *
Chad, your Berry Blast is waiting.
93 EXT. COX TOWNHOUSE - DAY 93
LONG LENS POINT-OF-VIEW
A car is pulling into the driveway. Katie Cox emerges from
the driver's side.
Reverse shows Chad, in his suit, watching from a parked car
across the street.
Now Harry Pfarrer emerges from the passenger side wearing a
brown pin-striped suit. Encumbered by something bulky he
follows Katie up the walk.
It seems to be some kind of pillow or cushion under his arm,
but very large, and wedge-shaped. Katie is letting herself
in; Harry gives a furtive glance around----as Chad sinks back
in his car seat----before entering with the wedge-cushion.
The door closes.
Chad relaxes, straightens up. A beat. He looks idly around.
Another car, parked on the same side of the street, further
up. Someone is just straightening from a slouch to become
visible over the driver's headrest.
Chad looks, puzzled.
94 INT. CAR/EXT. COX TOWNHOUSE - DAY - LATER 94
Chad is sucking the dregs of his Jamba Juice up a straw when
a noise brings his look around:
The door to the townhouse is opening. Katie emerges, in a
change of clothes. Harry follows in sweats.
They get into her car. It pulls out.
Chad watches it go up the street. He is about to open his
door but pauses, seeing:
The parked car up the street. Katie's car having passed, it
now pulls out and follows at a discreet distance. Both cars
Chad opens his door and gets out. He is crossing to the
townhouse when he notices another car parked on the other
side of the street. A man sits in the driver's seat,
Chad proceeds on to the house. There is a barred garden-
level door tucked under the stoop. Chad checks out the
caging on the door. He looks up the façade of the house.
95 INT. KATIE'S CAR/EXT. POTOMAC BRIDGE - DAY 95
It pulls over at one end of the Potomac bridge that we have
seen before. Harry emerges.
What's the odometer say?
About five or approximately five? I
For fuck's sake, Harry, it's five
miles. Five point two.
Okay, fine----I gotta do at least five.
Five and a deuce is okay.
I'm surprised you have any energy
You kiddin'----pull around the corner
we'll do it again in back!
You are very coarse.
No, back of the car. I didn't mean a
Ach. I'm late----
The car squeals away, leaving Harry on the shoulder.
96 EXT. COX TOWNHOUSE - DAY 96
Chad is cornering the house on the driveway side, appraising.
A low wall separates driveway from back garden. Chad gives a
quick glance around.
97 EXT. COX TOWNHOUSE - BACK GARDEN - DAY 97
Chad vaults the wall to land in the garden.
The garden steps down to a back door. Chad checks out the
windows in back, then goes to the door. It is locked. It
has a large window.
98 INT. COX TOWNHOUSE - BACK WINDOW - DAY 98
We can see Chad's form outside the door. Its pane is tapped
once... twice... it breaks.
99 EXT. POTOMAC BRIDGE - DAY 99
He spins, jogs backward.
His point-of-view: a car, traveling slowly. Following?
Harry cuts across a park lawn.
100 INT. TOWNHOUSE BASEMENT - DAY 100
Chad is nosing around the basement. He notices Ozzie's
101 EXT. STREET NEAR PARK - DAY 101
Emerging from the park onto another street. He looks around
and, satisfied that he has lost the tail, jogs on.
102 INT. COX TOWNHOUSE - BASEMENT - DAY 102
Chad is looking at the screen of Ozzie's computer.
He fishes a CD out of his suit pocket, feeds it into the
103 EXT. RESIDENTIAL STREET - DAY 103
Jogging, entering a residential area.
104 INT. COX TOWNHOUSE - DAY 104
Chad is emerging from the basement. He is looking idly
around, heading toward the front door when a shape
materializes in its frosted glass sidelight.
There is scraping at the lock.
Chad quickly mounts the stairs.
105 INT. COX TOWNHOUSE - SECOND FLOOR - DAY 105
Chad freezes, listening.
The downstairs door swings open, shut.
A tread on the stairs: Chad scurries into the first open
106 INT. COX TOWNHOUSE - BEDROOM - DAY 106
Chad hotfoots into a closet and eases its door most of the
way shut. The footsteps mount the stairs. Chad peeks out.
His POV: The bed, bedclothes rumpled. In the middle of the
bed, a wedge-cushion.
Beyond, the open bedroom door shows a slice of hallway and
stairs. Harry arrives at the top of the stairs. He nudges
back a drape on the window at the top of the steps. He looks
down one way, then the other. He lets the drape fall back
and seems to relax.
Harry enters the bedroom. He strips off his shirt and steps
out of his pants on his way into the bathroom off the master
bedroom. He leaves the door open.
Chad reaches gingerly for the closet door to close it but
stops abruptly as we hear the shower turned off and the
curtain whipped back. Harry emerges from the shower. He
rinses off, humming "Born Free," and walks into the
foreground pulling on shorts and shirt and a pair of dress
pants that was draped across a bureau.
Chad shrinks back into the closet as Harry approaches. Harry
stops, just outside the cracked door.
Through the crack we see only the white of his shirt.
Abruptly Harry turns his back to us and recedes into the room
and bends to pick something off the floor.
Chad leans in ever so slightly to see, but draws back again
as Harry approaches.
Chad looks over to his right: on a hanger, the brown
pinstripe coat that matches Harry's pants.
The closet door is thrown open.
Harry jerks up the gun which he's pulled from the shoulder
holster in his other hand and----BAM----shoots Chad in the face.
The gun bucks. Unused to the recoil and still screaming,
Harry staggers back and trips over the edge of the bed and
drops the weapon.
He crabs briefly backward and then flips over and scrambles
off on all fours. In the hallway he rises and tramples down
107 INT. COX TOWNHOUSE - BOTTOM OF STAIRS - DAY 107
He stops at the bottom of the steps, panting. He looks back
up the steps, trying to control his heavy breathing so that
he can listen.
A long silence.
He looks around.
108 INT. COX TOWNHOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY 108
Harry enters. He opens a drawer, closes it, opens another.
109 INT. COX TOWNHOUSE - FOYER - DAY 109
Harry enters from the kitchen and starts slowly mounting the
stairs, a chopping knife in one hand.
110 INT. COX TOWNHOUSE - SECOND FLOOR - DAY 110
Harry tops the stairs. He pauses, looking at:
The bedroom door, ajar.
Inside, his gun lies on the floor.
Harry takes cautious steps toward the door.
He pauses at the cracked door. Suddenly:
He plunges through the door and runs for the gun and scoops
it, dropping the knife.
He stands and spins, panting.
His point-of-view: the closet. Its door ajar. Legs protrude
into the room as if Chad, hidden within, is sitting with his
back against the closet wall contemplating his next move.
Harry walks cautiously over. With a bare foot he
experimentally waggles one of Chad's feet. Limp.
Harry nudges the door.
It creaks fully open.
... Omygod. Omygod.
Chad's face is a powder-burned, chewed-up mess.
... Omygod who are you. You fucker.
He gingerly crouches down.
... You fucker...
He tries to avert his eyes as he feels in Chad's suit
... Omygod, my god... Ungh...
He comes away with a wallet and hastily stands.
Inside are a few dollars and nothing else: no credit cards,
driver's license; empty.
... What the fuck...
He leans back in, trying not to look, but for some reason
feeling obliged to return the wallet.
As he opens the suit coat to slip it back in the inside
pocket he notices:
The suit label has been cut away. He fingers the raveled
... Oh my fuck...
He straightens up again.
... I killed a fucking spook. You
He gazes down at the body.
... What are you doing here, you
111 INT. CIA HALLWAY - DAY 111
We track at floor level, following the well shined shoes of
someone walking down the well polished hallway.
112 INT. CIA HEADQUARTERS - DOOR/PALMER'S OFFICE - DAY 112
We are low, outside an office door. The shoes enter frame
and the door is swung inward, away from us, to show Palmer
DeBakey Smith seated behind his desk.
He looks up.
Olson. What's up.
The door slams shut.
113 INT. CIA HEADQUARTERS - DOOR/PALMER'S OFFICE - DAY 113
Some time later. Our camera position is higher.
At the cut the door swings open and Palmer Smith strides out,
114 INT. CIA HEADQUARTERS - OFFICE HALLWAY - DAY 114
Tracking behind his shoes down a different piece of hallway.
115 INT. CIA HEADQUARTERS - ANOTHER DOOR/CHUBB'S OFFICE - DAY 115
Palmer Smith's back enters and he swings the door open. A
silver-haired man looks up from his desk where he is leaned
back, eating orange sections off a paper towel on the
Palmer. What's up.
Not quite certain, sir, but it's...
He seats himself facing the desk. A desktop nameplate
identifies his superior as Gardner McC. Chubb.
Palmer hands a folder across, grimacing.
... Kolyma-2 tells us that they have
computer files from an ex-analyst of
mine, Osbourne Cox.
Our man in the Russian Embassy.
It was brought to them by a woman
Yeah. It was brought in by Linda
Litzke, an associate of a guy named
Harry Pfarrer. Picture's in the
folder. With Pfarrer's.
Treasury agent who's been, um,
screwing Mrs. Cox. Must be how they
got the files. Or maybe Ozzie knows
about it, they all seem to be sleeping
with each other.
All right. Spare me.
Yes sir. But this Treasury guy----it's
gotten... complicated. He just shot
somebody in Ozzie's house.
Palmer shakes his head.
Ozzie wasn't there. Our man surveying
hears a gunshot, sees the Treasury guy
wrestle something into his car,
follows him; he dumps a body in the
Well----what'd he do that for?
Don't know sir.
Oh for Christ sake. Anyone fish the
Don't know. Scrubbed of ID.
And this... Linda...?
No, we're----um... fuzzy on her.
Gardner Chubb is flipping bemusedly through the contents of
Well----so----we don't really know what
anyone is after.
Not really, sir.
This analyst, ex-analyst, uh...
Yeah. What's his clearance level.
Okay. Okay, no biggie...
He reaches the folder back to Palmer.
GARDNER CHUBB (CONT'D)
... for now just keep an eye on
everyone, see what they do.
Right, sir. And----we'll interface with
the FBI on this, uh, dead body?
No! No, we don't want those idiots
blundering around in this. Burn the
body. Get rid of it. And keep an eye
on everyone, see what they do. Report
back when, um, I don't know. When it
116 INT. YACHT CABIN - DAY 116
A HOPPING MAN IN A UNITARD
His hands are on his hips. He is darkly Mediterranean and
very fit. He smiles into the camera as he hops in time to
upbeat music, kicking a leg out on each beat.
To the left!... Repeat!... To the
right!... Repeat!... And in!... And
out!... And higher!... Repeat!...
Wider shows that the man is on TV leading the viewer in
exercise. The viewer, in this case, is Osbourne Cox, on his
He follows along in his underwear in the cramped quarters
belowdecks. Boxes and luggage are strewn about, half-
He pants as he exercises:
I'm bigger... I'm back... I'm
better... I'm back... than ever... I'm
back... fuckers... I'm back...
MAN ON TV
... And good!... Repeat!... Now
bend!... And bounce!... . And
lower!... Repeat!... And up!... And
back!... And up!... Repeat!
117 INT. TED'S OFFICE/LINDA'S OFFICE - DAY 117
We are on a long lens point-of-view, from several cubicles
over, of Linda slumped at her desk, head in her arms. We
faintly hear her sobbing.
Reverse shows Ted Treffon, the soulful manager of Hardbodies,
looking at her, unsettled.
CLOSE ON LINDA
We are in her cubicle now, her weeping bumping up at the cut.
A tap against the cubicle window brings her head up.
Ted Treffon opens the door.
Linda. You okay?
I'm fine, Ted, I'm sorry.
He sits at the chair alongside her desk.
You don't look fine.
No no, I'm... I'm...
You won't tell me what it's about.
You never let me in, Linda.
Oh, I know you're trustworthy, I
just... don't want to endanger other
people with----I mean, it's a path I've
chosen, it's not, you have to isolate,
you know, a firewall.
Uh-huh. Well, I don't know what to
think. You both go AWOL on Friday;
today Chad doesn't bother to come in
I know, Ted.
Linda, I can't run a gym this way.
I know, Ted.
I'm going to have to fire him.
No! No no no, Ted! Just, just. . .
Give me twenty-four hours!
To, um... I don't know, twenty-four
Just give me twenty-four hours to
solve this thing!
Linda. I have to tell you. A man was
here earlier asking about you.
Yellow Revision 8/24/07 86.
Linda looks at Ted for a beat, thinking.
Linda, are you in some kind of
trouble? Is Chad running from
Ted, we know what we're doing. Let me
ask you this: did he know my name.
Whuh----yes, he was asking about you.
Employment history, et cetera. Real
jerk. I told him to get lost.
She takes his hand.
Thank you, Ted.
Ted swallows. He looks down.
Linda still has his hand. He tries to cover his reaction to
the physical contact.
... we just don't give that out at
The phone beeps. A voice comes through the intercom:
Linda, there's a Mr. Krapotkin on line *
She punches a button on the phone.
... Hello? Mr. Krapkin? *
Yellow Revision 8/24/07 87.
This is Ilan Krapotkin. Russian
embassy. Returning your call.
Yes, yes!----hang on. Ted, I'm sorry.
This is private.
Looking at her, Ted sighs. He shakes his head sadly, rises
and goes. Linda pushes the door of the cubicle shut with her
... Hello. Is this a secure line, Mr.
Mr. Krapkin? *
Is this a secure, uh----
You are joking?
No! I----I'm terribly worried about my
associate. My----my----you know... Chad.
Yes? Why is that?
Do you have him?
Do we have him?
Is he----I don't know what the term is,
did he, "go over"?
Blue Revision 8/1/07 88.
Linda glances up. Outside her cubicle window Ted waits; at
Linda's look he turns palms up: What's going on? Linda holds
up a finger: one second.
Do you know where he is?
Is he not... at Hardbodies?
No, I----look, can I come in and discuss
118 INT. COX TOWNHOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY 118 *
Harry Pfarrer stands at the kitchen counter chopping carrots.
He is intensely focused and chops very, very quickly,
producing slices in high volume.
Reverse shows Katie Cox in a chair in the living room, frozen
in a look up, a file of papers forgotten in one hand as she
gazes over half-glasses at Harry. His chopping continues
After a long look and much chopping:
You seem distracted.
Very distracted. The last two days.
The chopping continues.
Katie's eyes shift down to the countertop, back up to Harry.
... That's enough carrots, don't you
For the salad?
The chopping stops.
Harry slaps the knife down. He stares at Katie, jaw
grinding, for a beat.
You know: you're really a very
Through grit teeth:
I've tried. To ignore it. And stay
Katie, unused to backtalk from Harry, is stunned. She
returns in a manner as hard as his:
Harry: stop the foolishness.
Stop the foolishness?
Yes. And behave. You are not talking
to one of your...
Her fingers form quotes:
... "shithole buddies."
Harry glares at her, vibrating with rage. Her look at him is
Harry abruptly turns and stomps up the stairs.
Brief tromping on the second floor. Katie sits in puzzled
Footfalls descend the staircase.
Blue Revision 8/1/07 90.
Harry reappears at the foot of the stairs with his wedge-
cushion tucked under an arm. He flings the front door open,
goes out, slams it shut.
119 EXT. COX TOWNHOUSE/INT. HARRY'S CAR - DAY 119 *
Harry stomps to his car in the driveway and flings in the
cushion. He gets in, seething. After a beat he pulls out
his cell phone and dials.
A ring. Pick-up. A female voice:
Honey. It's so good to hear your
Something wrong, Harry?
No. Yes. Can you come home? Your
baby needs you.
... Can you please come home?
Harry, you know I----
I can show you your present. It's
Oh Harry. I can't just leave the book
There are two days left. There's
Blue Revision 8/1/07 91.
I love you, Harry.
Okay. Yeah. Love you too.
He folds the phone, miserable.
As he pockets it his attention is caught by something in the
The car parked across the street. A man's shape in the
120 EXT. TOWNHOUSE - DAY 120 *
Harry, jaw set, gets out of the car and starts down the
The parked car starts.
The car tries to pull out but is closely hemmed in by cars
front and back; it will need a couple moves.
Harry runs back to his own car, starts it, throws it into
reverse and backs straight down the drive toward the
frantically shuttling car.
He t-bones it.
VOICE FROM WITHIN CAR
Harry, amped, throws his car into drive, pulls halfway up the
He again throws the car into reverse.
The man in the other car abandons his attempt to pull out and
scrambles frantically toward the passenger side.
Harry again smashes into the car.
Blue Revision 8/1/07 92.
121 EXT. STREET ACROSS FROM TOWNHOUSE - DAY 121 *
The other man emerges from the far side. He flees down the
sidewalk as fast as his weight will permit, pocket change
jingling, yelling as he runs:
Harry runs after him, calling:
Who do you work for?! Who do you work
... Tell me!
The overweight man does not have Harry's stamina: Harry
closes, leaps, and tackles.
He crawls up the man's body, hand-over-hand, panting:
... Who do you work for? CIA? NSC?
The other man is panting much harder:
This stops Harry. He isn't sure what he's heard.
... Tuchman Marsh?
Your name is... Tuchman Marsh?
Tuchman Marsh Hauptman Rodino!
Harry stares at the man underneath him. The gasping man
... I work for them!
You... work for Tuchman Marsh.
Which is a law firm.
No! A rock band! Yes, it's a law
Well... why are you following me?
Divorce action, numbnuts!
Harry is blindsided. He stares. He slowly sits up,
My... my wife hired you?!
The freed Tuchman Marsh man also sits up, still panting
No. Your wife hired Tuchman Marsh.
Tuchman Marsh hired me. I work for
You're----you're----a divorce detective.
Not just. Credit, missing persons,
But this is divorce.
Harry rises and walks stiffly, zombie-like, up the street.
The man watches him go.
After a few paces Harry stops and sits on the curb. He
The man, still breathing heavily, calls out:
... Jesus----grow up, man! It happens
Harry's cell phone chirps. He fishes it out and unfolds it,
Harry, it's Osbourne Cox.
Harry stares, trying to fit this in. Osbourne prompts, after
a silent beat:
Harry, could I get your wife's number?
This is Osbourne Cox, could I trouble
you for your wife's----
You can't tell her anything she
doesn't already know, fucker.
Harry again stares: maybe he has this figured wrong.
After a silence:
...Is this... Harry Pfarrer?
You want... Sandy's number?
Echoing up the street:
Blue Revision 8/1/07 95.
Can I use your phone? To call a tow?
122 INT. OSBOURNE'S BOAT - DAY 122 *
Osbourne paces the cramped cabin belowdecks, a phone to his
ear. He is unshaven, wearing a robe.
Filtered rings, then a connection:
Hi, it's Osbourne Cox, how are you.
Hi. Sorry to call out of the blue but
I have a, well, a publishing question
and I thought you might be the person
to ask, I have this manuscript,
something to do with my professional
experiences, not to go into too much
detail but I think it's pretty
explosive stuff and I think that it
could merit a fairly wide readership
handled properly and it isn't quite
finished yet but there's a situation
where I'm worried about it leaking now
and maybe excerpts being published or
on the internet, whatever, without my
permission, and a lot of the impact
being, um, blunted, so I'm actually
anxious to bring it to market sooner
than I'd planned----I mean, like now, in
fact----so I was thinking, I know you,
and you seem to do well, so I was
wondering if you were happy with your
publisher. The people you use.
A long beat.
You've written a children's book?
No! No no, a, a kind of a memoir, but
----doesn't your company have an adult
arm? Or isn't it, uh, the children's
arm? Of a regular publisher?
Pappas & Swain do children's
Uh-huh. I see. So they don't----
okay... Are you well?
Very well thank you. And you.
Yes. Good. Okay, well, thank you
Yes. Good talking to you.
Osbourne yanks the rubber band off a bundle of mail.
123 INT. RUSSIAN EMBASSY - HALLWAY - DAY 123
Two pairs of footsteps echo down a long hallway as Linda
Litzke is escorted by a solemn Russian staffer.
124 INT. RUSSIAN EMBASSY - ANOTHER ROOM - DAY 124
A waiting room. A long beat; Linda sits waiting.
A door opens. Mr. Krapotkin emerges.
Linda stands to go to the inner office but Krapotkin motions
her back down.
Yes, madam. Can we help you?
What kind of Mickey Mouse embassy are
you running?! I've been waiting here
for fifty-five minutes, and I'm----
I am so sorry, madam. An urgent
Well this could be urgent too, since,
you know, Chad has been missing for
forty-eight hours now and----
I don't know the whereabouts of Chad,
Well he was gathering information for
you when he----
We're not interested in such
"information". It was drivel.
Linda is dumbfounded.
A silent beat.
Krapotkin fishes something from his pocket.
Would you like your disk back?
Krapotkin stands with the disk extended toward her.
I'm so sorry I can't help you.
Linda recovers from her astonishment and is moved to outrage:
I'll tell you what's dribble! You
listen to me, Mr. Krapkin! I am----
Blue Revision 8/1/07 98.
125 INT. RUSSIAN EMBASSY - HALLWAY AGAIN 125
Looking the opposite way.
We hear two pairs of footsteps. They approach for several
beats and then Linda and her escort enter frame and recede,
footsteps echoing. The staffer's hand is on Linda's elbow.
As we hold on their backs and they continue to walk, Linda
jerks her arm away; the staffer regrabs it. She jerks away
Cut it out.
126 OMITTED 126 *
127 OMITTED 127 *
128 INT. OSBOURNE'S BOAT - DAY 128 *
An exercise show plays on the TV, unwatched. Osbourne sits
at a little table looking at a notice torn from a windowed
He brings the notice close, squints at it.
... What the fuck?
He quickly shuffles through the rest of the mail, pulls out
another envelope, rips it open.
Blue Revision 8/1/07 99.
A MINUTE LATER
Osbourne paces, drink in hand, staring at another piece of
What the fuck?
A MINUTE LATER
Osbourne is back at the table, drink half-consumed, listening
at the phone.
... Yes... No... Yes, I want to know
why the check for my slip fee was
returned for insufficient funds...
Slip fee, for docking my boat, the
check was returned... No, m'dam, it's
not zero, I have about forty thousand
dollars in that account... When? ...
When?... But she can't do that----no,
yes, technically it may be a joint
account but she doesn't use it, it's
not her money... No! No! What
access, it's not possible! Without my
permission? What about the, my, the,
our savings account? My savings
account?... I don't know the fucking
number! You think I memorize the
fucking numbers on my fucking bank
accounts! Moron!... Hello?
A129 EXT. PFARRERS' CHEVY CHASE HOUSE - DUSK (FORMERLY SCENE 126) A129 *
We are looking at the exterior of the house in wide shot. *
Peaceful neighborhood. Birds chirp. *
From inside the house, though, we can faintly hear sobs, *
punctuated by sounds of exertion. Each gasp of effort ends *
in a dull clang. *
B129 INT. PFARRER BASEMENT - NIGHT (FORMERLY SCENE 127) B129 *
The wracking sobs bump up loud at the cut inside. *
Harry is weeping as he demolishes the love seat with a *
Blue Revision 8/1/07 99A.
129 INT. HARDBODIES - TED'S OFFICE - NEXT DAY 129 *
Ted stares, horrified.
After a beat:
No-o-o-o-o-o way. No way. Whoa. No
She sits opposite him in his office. Ted shakes his head.
But Ted, I can't do it, I don't know
anything about computers.
Linda, the whole thing is crazy. It
was crazy the first time, and you want
to do it again? Break into the man's
house? And why would----why would----you
said the Russians didn't even want
My world is bigger than that, Ted.
There's other people. There's the
Linda, these surgeries----
It's not just the surgeries, Ted!
It's not just the money! We can use
it as leverage! To get Chad back!
What do you mean "get him back"!
Information is power, Ted! Hel-lo!
What do you mean "get him back"! You
don't know where he is!
Somebody has him. And we can----
You ask the police to help you find
missing people! And you----
I can't take it! I can't take it! I
can't take it! You know I can't do
that! We're operating off the map
here, Ted! This is way higher than
the police, it's higher than that!
I need a can-do person, Ted! I hate
your negativity! I hate all your
reasons why not! I hate you! I hate
Blue Revision 8/1/07 101.
Weeping, she storms out.
Ted stares, shell-shocked.
130 INT. BAR - DAY 130 *
In close shot, Ted sits onto a bar stool.
Dim bar, tinkling piano.
What'll it be.
Ted stares straight ahead. A long beat.
He finally focuses on the bartender, off. He swallows.
Seven & Seven.
131 INT. LINDA'S APARTMENT - NIGHT 131
Night. Linda is asleep in her bedroom. The buzz of the in-
Linda stirs, wakes and reaches for the bedside phone.
She removes an appliance from her mouth.
132 INT. LINDA'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT 132
Minutes later. Harry is gazing off, slack-jawed, haunted.
After a beat:
You think a marriage is... and then
The thought drifts off. A sad shake of the head.
Linda enters, handing him a drink. She sits opposite.
But this was a long time coming.
Harry looks up, surprised.
He catches himself. His gaze wanders back to the haunted,
... Well, yeah... right...
You're depressed, Harry.
I am depressed. I gotta exercise. I
haven't run in three days... butt-
crunches... anything... Do you think I
could stay here for a little while?
Linda starts quietly weeping.
This focuses Harry's attention. He looks at her as if just
now noticing her.
... What? What's wrong, baby?
It can't always come from me, Harry!
I'm not that strong!
Harry moves next to her and puts an arm around her.
What's wrong, baby? Harry's here.
You're not here for me! I need a can-
do person! You're all... defeated!
I'm sorry, baby----
Chad is the only can-do person I know
and he's gone, Harry, he's gone.
I'll be good. I'll be better. I just
need to exercise. Are there
pedestrian paths around here?
He squeezes her shoulder, takes a gulp of the drink.
... Who the fuck is Chad?
Could you help me find him? He's a
friend from work. You know law
enforcement people, right? You could
Wait a minute, what's his name? What
Chad Feldheimer. He just disappeared.
He hasn't been at work or at home for
You know his social security number?
Huh? NO! I----
It's okay. That's okay. What's the
last place you saw him?
I don't know! He just disappeared!
The last place I saw him was the Jamba
Juice on K Street. And he's gone.
Harry squeezes her shoulder again.
Okay baby. We'll find your friend.
Missing person. Piece of cake.
133 INT. PEDIATRIC EXAM ROOM - DAY 133
Illuminated by a small light. It quavers. The tongue starts
to rise and the mouth starts to close.
No, stay open...
Wider: a pediatric examining room decorated with colorful
prints of cartoon characters and clowns.
Katie Cox, in a white smock, has a tongue depressor in a five-
year-old's mouth and a light-sight in one hand. She
withdraws both as the child finishes closing his mouth. The
child's mother stands by.
Katie grasps the child by the upper arm.
WOMAN'S VOICE (CONT'D)
... You have to let the doctor look in
The child keeps his lips pressed together.
WOMAN'S VOICE (CONT'D)
... Now you listen to me, young man.
You do as I say or I'll ask your
mother to leave the doctor's office
and the two of us will sort out what's
The child looks at her fearfully.
The wall phone bleeps.
Katie rolls to it on her castored chair.
WOMAN'S VOICE (CONT'D)
She listens briefly.
WOMAN'S VOICE (CONT'D)
... With a patient.
She hangs up.
134 INT. OSBOURNE'S BOAT - DAY 134
Osbourne, in dressing gown and pyjamas, is barking into the
Yeah? The same patient she's been
with since YESTERDAY? BullSHIT!
Dr. Cox has suggested you call her
Yeah, RIGHT! Tell her I got the new
He slams down the phone.
135 EXT. BOAT DECK 135
The hatch is thrown open and Osbourne emerges from below.
There is a large built-in toolbox just by the hatch. He
yanks it open and pulls out a hatchet.
136 DOCK 136
Osbourne strides grimly down the dock in his bathrobe,
hatchet in hand.
137 INT. "GOOD MORNING, SEATTLE" SET - DAY 137
Sandy Pfarrer is sitting in an armchair on a morning show
living room set surrounded by a dozen eight-year-olds sitting
on the carpet. Hosts Del and Connie sit next to her in
And it was just then----at that very
moment----that Oliver sneezed----
Can we just----I'm sorry to interrupt
but we have to let the folks at home
see this illustration! Can we just
get a shot of that...
He is holding the book open, face out on his lap.
There----there it is. Oliver.
Interrupting the filibuster with----
Wonderful! The book is "Point of
Order, Oliver!" and the talented
author is Sandra Pfarrer. We're gonna
go to a station break and then be
right back with Bud Fraighling, the
Sultan of Salad, and Part Two of our
special interview with Dermot
Mulroney. So keep it where it is!
Del and Connie and Sandy all wear smiles that stay fixed a
beat too long. Then Del relaxes and turns to Sandy.
Yeah, you know we thought it might be
fun if you joined us with Bud
Fraighling and help make the Fiesta
Salad, when we move over.
Over on the kitchen set.
That wasn't discussed.
Oh, sure! No! Only if you want to!
Your segment went great, we just
I'm sorry, I made plans.
Great to see you again, Sandra!
She gives them a cold smile as a technician finishes
unclipping her lavaliere and she leaves.
Connie looks at Del and mouths "Bitch."
138 EXT. COX TOWNHOUSE - DAY 138
Osbourne's crumple-backed car roars up. It cuts a corner of
the lawn and squeals to a halt in the drive. Osbourne
emerges, still in robe and pyjamas, with the hatchet.
He goes to the front door and bashes at the knob with the
blunt end of the hatchet.
New... fucking... keys... How's this
Hardware starts to fall off and jangle onto the stoop.
Osbourne tries the sharp end of the hatchet a couple times,
decides he prefers the blunt end.
... How's this for motherfucking
More things fall off. The knob wobbles in the door.
Osbourne pushes the door open.
139 INT. STUDIO - HALLWAY - DAY 139
Sandy Pfarrer is accompanied by a bright young PR woman.
That was way out of line. We were so
unbelievably clear with them: just an
Del and Connie are such putzes.
It's fine. Thank you. We're
Huh? Well, okay. Great, uh----
Sandy, entered her dressing room, is already shutting the
door on her.
140 INT. STUDIO DRESSING ROOM - DAY 140
Inside a man lounges reading a magazine. He looks a little
like Harry but younger.
Thought that would never be over.
The man rises and kisses her.
Mmm. Me too.
Let me scrub this crap off my face.
141 INT. COX TOWNHOUSE KITCHEN - DAY 141
Osbourne opens a cabinet, muttering:
Just for starters...
He takes out liquor bottles and starts putting them in a
packing case on the kitchen counter.
142 EXT. WASHINGTON MALL - DAY 142
People sit on benches eating lunches. Harry Pfarrer is on
the bench where he and Linda met, once again spitting
Linda walks up. They greet each other with a kiss.
Hello there sunshine. You look great.
Well you seem better.
Harry does indeed seem more like his old self.
Yeah, I snuck in a little gym time
this morning. And our exercise last
night didn't hurt!
Linda is shocked but secretly pleased:
Boy, I am through banging my head
against the wall. I am gonna start
doing what's right for me.
That's how I believe, also. You have
to do what's right for----
Yeah! Hell yeah! I mean I had a
shock recently, and I realized you
know, life is not infinite. No one's
No one's immortal.
You have to get from each day its
full, uh, squeeze the juice from every
day because there but for the grace of
Exactly. The important thing is to
maintain a positive outlook. Always
up. Always ebullient.
That's right, don't sweat the small
Linda chimes in:
Linda and Harry
... and it's all small stuff.
Harry reaches for Linda and she slides closer. He puts an
arm around her.
This is where we first met. Remember?
Of course I do.
You never know what the important days
are, until... until, um...
The thought drifts away as his gaze fixes on something. With
his look still fixed:
... I told myself I was gonna stop
being paranoid, but... is that guy
looking at us?
Linda follows his look.
On a bench a short distance away a middle-aged man with
aviator glasses and hair plugs is staring at them.
A slightly overweight woman stops tentatively in front of
the man in the aviator glasses and they start to talk.
Linda turns to Harry.
... Have you found out anything about
Nothing yet, I've made a couple calls.
I don't think it'll take long.
Oh yeah, there are so many data bases
now it's a joke...
Relaxing now that he sees the man in aviator glasses engaged
in conversation, Harry warms to his theme.
... Back when I was in PP there was
still some art to finding people. Not
any more. And now with the cell
phones? Pretty soon they're gonna
know where everyone is. Everyone. At
any given moment. I mean it's almost
the reality now. You would be amazed.
Did he----when you left the Jamba Juice
----did Chad say anything about where he
might be going?
Oh, I know where he was going.
A residence in Alexandria. On
Harry has stopped chewing. He is staring at her.
Linda feels obliged to fill the silence.
... 2055 Hillsboro.
Harry stares. Linda doesn't know what to make of his fixed
... It's, um. The residence of a guy
named Osbourne Cox.
Harry is beginning to look sick.
A long silence.
Who are you?
Now Linda stares, unsure of what to make of the question.
... WHO ARE YOU?
Linda's eyes widen. She is a little frightened.
People nearby turn to look. It is a scene.
... WHO DO YOU WORK FOR?
Harry reaches up. He grabs her by the shoulders and shakes.
... WHO ARE YOU? REALLY?
Linda is at sea. She answers in a small voice:
I'm ... just ... Linda Litzke.
Harry stares at her.
A long beat.
He leaps to his feet and looks around in a panic.
His point-of-view, sweeping the park. Nearby, the man with
plugs, though talking with his date, is looking at him again.
Farther away, a man sits in a curbside sedan. Watching?
Hard to say.
Harry turns and runs. Linda gapes.
143 INT. COX TOWNHOUSE - MASTER BEDROOM - DAY 143
Osbourne sets the packing box heavily down on a bureau in the
upstairs bedroom. The box is a third loaded up with liquor
bottles. It also holds a mixed drink which Osbourne now
takes out. The ice cubes clink as he sips, poking through
things in the bureau.
One drawer holds scarves and accessories and a large case.
He opens the case and starts dumping jewelry from it into the
He yanks his hand back and shakes it. He looks at the ball
of his thumb. He sucks it.
He carefully picks a brooch out of the jewelry case and
flings it across the room.
He resumes dumping jewelry into his box.
He suddenly stops:
A faint knock. The front door.
The knock repeats.
The front door creaks open.
Osbourne carefully sets down his drink. He steps quietly to
the closet and pulls a small cedar chest off a high shelf.
144 EXT. WASHINGTON MALL/INT. LINDA'S CAR - DAY 144
Linda flings open the door to her car parked on the street
bordering the mall. She gets in and turns the ignition.
Pulling into traffic she checks her rear-view, and her look
A dark four-door sedan pulling out a few cars back. It falls
in behind her. Its driver is a man in sunglasses. He
reaches up and touches fingertips to one ear.
Linda frowns. She looks forward, glances again at the
Another dark car pulls into the lane next to the first. Its
driver is also a man in sunglasses.
145 INT. COX TOWNHOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY 145
Downstairs, Osbourne rounds the corner from entryway to
living room, a handgun at the ready. His drink is in his
other hand. Ice cubes clink as he moves.
The living room is empty.
Osbourne advances cautiously. A quick sidelong look at the
He proceeds to the basement door.
146 INT. LINDA'S CAR/EXT. INTERSECTION - DAY 146
She gives worried glances at her rear-view.
The light ahead turns yellow, red.
Cars ahead stop. Linda stops.
A rhythmic thudding sound. It almost makes her car vibrate.
She looks around. She rolls down her window, sticks her head
out, looks up.
A black helicopter hovers overhead, rotors thudding. A black-
clad body leans partway out. The person seems to be looking
Linda draws her head back in.
Oh for Pete's sake.
147 INT. COX TOWNHOUSE - BASEMENT 147
Osbourne is slowly descending the stairs, gun and drink in
either hand, gun up, ice cubes clinking.
The basement comes slowly into view.
Someone stands behind his desk, at the computer.
Osbourne descends further. He stops on the bottom step and
stares at Ted Treffon, the soulful manager of Hardbodies.
Ted stares at him.
A long silence between the two men.
And you are... my wife's lover.
Then what are you doing here.
Osbourne takes the last step down. He advances slowly, gun
trained on Ted.
Osbourne's look, holding on Ted, changes.
... I know you. You're the guy at the
Ted licks his lips.
I'm not here representing Hardbodies.
I know what you represent. You
represent the idiocy of today.
Ted shakes his head.
I don't represent that, either.
Oh yes. You're the guy when I went to
ask about that moronic woman.
You're in league with that moronic
woman. You're part of a league of
Yes. You're one of the morons I've
been fighting all my life. My whole
fucking life. But guess what. Guess
what. Today I win.
Ted is shot in the upper chest.
He grabs a three-hole punch from the desktop and flings it at
Osbourne and charges.
BANG----another shot goes off.
Ted barrels into Osbourne, knocking him over----
----and goes on past him, lumbering up the stairs.
Osbourne gets to his feet.
Pink Revision 8/14/07 116.
... Stop! Intruder!
148 EXT. COX TOWNHOUSE - DAY 148
Ted staggers out of the house, a hand pressed to his chest.
He has reached the front lawn when Osbourne emerges, robe
flapping, pursuing with the hatchet.
He quickly catches up to Ted and whacks at him.
Osbourne whacks him down. He keeps whacking at him.
149 INT. CHUBB'S OFFICE - DAY 149
Gardner Chubb is behind his desk.
Palmer DeBakey Smith is seated across from him. He freezes.
Gardner Chubb rubs his forehead.
GARDNER CHUBB (CONT'D)
... Wait a minute. Where's the
treasury guy? Pfarrer?
In a detention room at Washington
He was trying to board a flight to
We had his name on a hot list, the INS
pulled him. Don't know why he was
going to Venezuela.
You don't know.
We have no extradition with Venezuela.
Oh. Uh-huh. Well----what should we do
For fuck's sake, put him on the next
flight to Venezuela!
Yes sir. Okay.
Gardner Chubb is weary.
Okay. So the gym manager is dead.
The body is----
But----there was a, uh... snag...
Well. This analyst, Cox, was
attacking the gym guy. It was broad
daylight, on the street. Our man
there didn't know what to do. He felt
he had to step in.
He, uh... He shot the analyst. He
Good! Great! Is he dead?
Gardner Chubb grimaces.
... He's in coma. They're not sure
whether he'll make it. They think,
they're pretty sure he has no brain
Okay. Okay. If he wakes up we'll
worry about it then. Jesus, what a
clusterfuck. That's it then. No one
else really knows anything. Okay.
Um. Well sir, there is...
There is the woman. The gym woman.
Oh yeah. Fuck. Where is she.
We picked her up. We have her.
Can we, uh----
She, she, she says she'll play ball if
we pay for some... I know this sounds
odd----some surgeries she wants.
Cosmetic surgery. She says she'll sit
There were several procedures. All
together they run to, um----
Yes sir. Should I pay it out of,
should it be from----
One of the black accounts, I don't
give a shit. The January fund.
Jesus. Jesus fucking Christ.
He shakes his head.
GARDNER CHUBB (CONT'D)
... What did we learn, Palmer.
I don't know, sir.
I don't fucking know either. I guess
we learned not to do it again.
Although I'm fucked if I know what we
Yes sir. Hard to say.
We pull back from Gardner Chubb, shaking his head.
Jesus. Jesus fucking Christ.
150 EXT. CIA HEADQUARTERS - AERIAL - DAY 150
We pull up, back through the clouds, away.