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ALL SCRIPTS


                    SNATCH



                By Guy Ritchie



Draft 4                    FOR EDUCATIONAL
August/9/1999               PURPOSES ONLY




1·    EXT. RUSSIA -- NIGHT




      We open on a GUARD sitting in front of a sentry post. He is
      wearing a heavy fur hat that covers his ears and a military-
      jacket. Behind him is a list of instructions (in Russian).
      He 'sucks in a cigarette as though he's a drowning man lookin
      for oxygen. A CAR comes to a stop by the sentry post, the,
      guard looks, asks a couple of questions and is given an
     -envelope which he quickly examines, he then attempts to stick
      his head in the car. A gun barrel is promptly stuck in his
      face and a couple of angry words emanate from the back, the
      guard jumps back and quickly raises the barrier.



     This next section will be intercut with the credit sequence.

                                      «·'


2    INT. BACK OF RUSSIAN CAR -- NIGHT

     On the back seat is FRANKY FOUR -FINGERS, (New York street
     wise Jew) who is clutching a fancy looking briefcase which
     is handcuffed to his wrist. He is flanked by TWO RUSSIAN
     HOODS. This next section will be subtitled.

                           FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

               How much further do we have to go?
     Just then the car comes to a standstill. The window is wound
     down and a gun barrel is stuck through. The RUSSIAN DRIVER
     looks dramatically calm.

                           RUSSIAN

               Pass him the money.
     Franky hesitates for a second.

                           RUSSIAN (CONT'D)

               Franky you know you have no choice.
               So please can we get on with it?
      Franky knows discussion is futile. He flips the case open
      and pulls out a transparent plastic bag full of American
      dollars. The package is pulled out of the window, the driver
      doesn't move, we dissolve for a passage of time, the anxiety
      is more than obvious, but Four Fingers can do nothing. All
      of a sudden a package comes through the window and the car
      speeds off without waiting for an inspection of the delivery.













                                             (CONTINUED)





2   CONTINUED:

    Franky opens the package and he reveals a stone the size of
    a fist. He shines a torch onto it and puts a stone inspectin
    monocle to his eye. He's satisfied.

    CUT TO: MUSIC,A CLOSE UP OF THE DIAMOND. MIX TO: ANOTHER


    DIAMOND BEING HELD BY AN OVERWEIGHT BLACK MAN. CUT TO: MONTAG


    INVOLVING ALL THE CHARACTERS IN THE FILM. DEALING OR HAVING


    SOMETHING TO DO WITH DIAMONDS OR THEFT. ONE SHOT AND SET UP


    TAKES US SEAMLESSLY INTO ANOTHER SHOT AND SET UP. THIS GOES


    ON FOR THE DURATION OF THE CREDITS. CUT BACK TO:




    Franky Four Fingers opens a fancy case, presses a hidden
    catch, this reveals a second wall within the case, he then
    carefully places the stone within this secret compartment
    and firmly closes the case. The Russian next to him is
    playing with a revolver, he spins the chamber.

                             RUSSIAN (CONT'D)

                 If you need a man in London then
                 call this number.
    Franky takes the card looks at it and repeats the name.

                           . FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

                 Boris?

                          RUSSIAN

              Boris, Boris can get you anything
              you need.

                                 CUT TO:CU OF SPINNING GUN CHAMBER


                                                                      :


3   INT. LONDON - AMUSEMENT ARCADE -- DAY


                                 C UT TO:CU OF SPINNING GUN CHAMBER




    We are in the back room of an amusement arcade and can hear
    fruit machines beeping in the distance. Meet BORIS THE BLADE
    and TOMMY who is toying with a heavy-looking revolver.

                             TOMMY

                 It's a bit heavy isn't it Boris?

                             BORIS

                 Heavy is good. Heavy is reliable.
                 If it doesn't work you can hit him
                 with it.
    Tommy practices a couple of gun slinging maneuvers. He's
    impressed. At that moment the door opens and in walks a MAN
    carrying two heavy sacks of coins. He's a rough looking
    bastard, he's massive, and extremely ugly. Meet GORGEOUS

    GEORGE.








                                               (CONTINUED)





3     CONTINUED:


                            TOMMY

                Yes Gorgeous?
      George looks at the weapon and can see that he's interrupting.

                            GORGEOUS GEORGE

                Sorry Tommy, I hope that I am not
                interrupting.

                            TOMMY

                Oh of course you're not interrupting
                Gorgeous, I put the do not disturb
                sign on the door because I wanted
                you to join us.
      George isn't too bright

                            GORGEOUS GEORGE

                What are you doing Tommy?

                              TOMMY

                I am baking a cake Gorgeous, not
                that i t ' s any of your business. Put
                the takings down, and be a good chap.
    -. George puts down the coins. Tommy implies he should leave.
       Gorgeous isn't too bright and continues to stand there looking
       stupid. Tommy goes to turn around but can see that he hasn't
       left, so he turns back,

                            TOMMY (CONT'D)

                Is there anything else Gorgeous, a
                cup of tea perhaps? No? Well in
                that could you kindly fuck off and
                shut the door behind you?



      Tommy turns round to Boris with a slight shake of his head.

                            TOMMY (CONT'D)

                Not too bright but he hits like a
                train. OK I ' l l take it. You're a
                gambling man Boris, so I'll toss you
                for it. Heads it's mine, tails I'll
                give you twice the price.
      Boris chews this for a second.

                                  BORIS

                   I ' l l toss the coin.
      He tosses the coin

                                            CUT TO: CU OF SPINNING COIN





4   INT. NEW YORK_OFFICE -- DAY





                                        CUT TO :CU OF SPINNING COIN

    Meet HANDS. On the phone. Cool young street wise NY diamond
    dealer. He catches a coin.

                          HANDS

              Twenty carats?

5   INT. HEATHROW AIRPORT -- DAY

    Franky's on the phone.

                          FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

              Best stone I've seen in years.

                          HANDS

              Good man Franky, you done a good
              job. What time you back?

                          FRANK Y FOUR FINGERS

              I gotta move the smaller stones here;
              it shouldn't take me long. I ' l l be
              a couple of days.

                          HANDS

              Speak to my cousin Doug.

                          FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

              Doug the Head?

                           HANDS

              Yeah, Doug the Head. But get some
              security. I mean it, get it today,
              speak to those Russians, they can
              get you anything. And. . .



    Dramatic pause

                             FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

              And what?

                          HANDS

              No fuckin around in any casinos, you
              hear me? You've done a good job
              Franky, don't go and fuck it up.

                          FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

              I hear ya Hands. I see ya Hands.
    The phone goes down and Hands looks up at a COLLEAGUE.

                             HANDS

              He's got it.




6   INT. BORIS1 HOUSE

    On the phone subtitled

                          RUSSIAN

              Yes he's got it. He might call, he
              might not, but if he does be ready.

                            BORIS

              I' l l see what I can do.

                          RUSSIAN

              He can't know that it's you Boris.
              We do too much business together.
              You're gonna have to get someone
              else to hit him and there is no way
              it can relate to us. You understand?

                           BORIS

              Yes I understand.

                          RUSSIAN

              One more thing, he loves to gamble.

7   EX.T. BACK ALLEY MAKESHIFT BOXING RING -- DAY

    BRICK TOP (aka MR MCLEAN) is a heavy looking fella. He is
    observing a giant of a man, BOMBER HARRIS, boxing a sparring
    partner.

                          BRICK TOP

              Two hundred and sixty pounds, that's
              fucking pedigree pal.
    He's talking to LIAM and GARY, a couple of employees.

                          BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

              He doesn't look bad does he?

                          GARY

              Oh no Mr Mclean, he looks great.

                             LIAM

              Yeah great.

                          GARY

              He'll kill him, he'll do you proud
              governor.

                          BRICK TOP

              Do you reckon that's what people
              should do for me, do you Gary, do me
              proud?

                          GARY

              That's what you deserve Mr Mclean.




                                               (CONTINUED)





7   CONTINUED:


                         BRICK TOP

             Pull your tongue out of my arsehoie
             Gary. Dogs do that, and you're not
             a dog, are you Gary?
    Taken aback by the change in tone.




                         GARY

             Err no, I am not.

                         BRICK TOP

             However, you do have all of the
             characteristics of a dog Gary, all
             except loyalty.
    There is a definite change in temperature.

                           BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

             And people like dogs Gary, for the
             principal reason that they're loyal.
             So I don't quite know where that
             leaves you my old son, other than
             refuckinpugnant. . .
    There is a problem

                         BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

             Which one was it that kept the four
             grand from the Clapham job?
    Pause

                         BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

             Don't let me ask again. I would
             like answers, but I am not in the
             mood for asking questions, get busy
             lads, or it's feeding time, oink,
             oink, know what I mean?
    Liam takes a step to the side and moves his eyes in a sideways
    action implying the guilt lies with Gary. Gary catches this
    and opens his mouth to protest. One of Brick Tops's henchmen,
    ERROL, sticks a belt in there as quick as it opens and smashes
    a bar across Gary's legs, he buckles. The henchman man pulls
    out a plastic bag and a roll of tape.

                            BRICK TOP (CONT'D')

                 You know what to do with that don't
                 you Liam?

    CUT TO FIGHTERS. SMALLER FIGHTER IS DISTRACTED.


                             HARRIS

                 Don't look for your sake.




                                                  (CONTINUED)





7   CONTINUED:   (2)




    POV of Smaller Fighter, we witness Liam putting the bag over
    Gary's head and tying tape round his neck. Gary tries to
    resist but it's futile and we vaguely witness the demise of
    poor Gary.




    CUT TO BRICK TOP


                             BRICK TOP

                 You're a ruthless cunt Liam, I' l l
                 give you that.
    Brick Top turns away at this point to admire his fighter.

                             BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

                 But I got no time for grasses.



    We cut to see Liam's panic filled eyes. The bar comes down
    again. Brick Top finds more interest in his fighter.

                             BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

                 Feed em to the pigs Errol.
    With a short beat.

                             BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

                 He's looking good, Bomber, is he
                 not? How's their man getting on?
    We whip pan off Brick Top's boxing ring...

8   EXT. ANOTHER BACK ALLEY MAKESHIFT BOXING RING - - DAY

    ...And the whip pan shot takes us into this boxing ring.
    Meet TURKISH, he is Tommy's partner. Turkish is older and
    wiser than Tommy, they are both watching Gorgeous go through
    his paces. Gorgeous George is head butting a heavy punch
    bag. The sound that emanates is disturbing, and Tommy is
    distracted.

                             TOMMY

                 Is he allowed to do that?
    Turkish is drinking milk from a bottle

                             TURKISH

                 It's an unlicensed boxing match Tommy,
                 not a tickling competition. These
                 lads are out to hurt each other.

                             GORGEOUS GEORGE

                 Oi Turkish, can I have a drink?
    Turkish looks over his shoulder and then points to himself
                                                   v




                                                  (CONTINUED)





8   CONTINUED:


                          TURKISH

              What do I look like to you George, a
              fuckin water boy?
    Turkish looks at the WATER BOY.

                          TURKISH (CONT'D)

              Oi son, look lively.



    He turns .back to Tommy.

                              TURKISH (CONT'D)

              Look at it.



    He turns to see the remnants of a caravan where they keep
    the training gear and administration for the fights

                          TURKISH (CONT'D)

              How am I supposed to run this thing
              from that? We gonna need a proper
              office.
    He looks at the caravan again and sighs, it is quite pitiful

                          TURKISH (CONT'D)

              I want a new one Tommy and you 're
              going to buy it for me.

                          TOMMY

              What's wrong with this one?
    Turning back to Tommy and ascending the steps in to his "I
    have seen better days" caravan, TURKISH'S foot goes through
    one of the stairs and the.door comes off at the hinges as he
    tries to open it.

                          TURKISH

              Oh nothing Tommy, it's tip top, it's
              just I am not sure about the colour.
    He passes him a piece of paper

                          TURKISH (CONT'D)

              Here it's all arranged. You just
              gotta pick it up. Here's an address.
    Tommy looks at the address and frowns.

                                TOMMY

                 I t ' s that campsite.

                             TURKISH

                 That's right, you're buying a caravan,
                 caravans live in campsites.




                                                 (CONTINUED)





CONTINUED:   (2).





                          TOMMY

             They aren't pikey are they?

                         TURKISH

             I don't know what they are, all I
             know is they have a caravan, and we
             want a Caravan.

                         TOMMY

             I hope they're not pikies.     I hate
             fucking pikies.

                          TURKISH

             You're a sensitive boy, ain't you
             Tommy? You got ten grand and I want
             to see change.
He is distracted by the bulge in Tommy's trouser front.

                         TURKISH (CONT'D)

             Fuck me, hold tight, what's that?

                         TOMMY

             It's my Gucci belt, Turkish.
Pointing quite clearly at the gun.

                         TURKISH

             No Tommy, there's a gun in your
             trousers. What is a gun doing in
             your trousers?

                          TOMMY

             It's for protection.

                         TURKISH

             Protection from what, the Germans?
             The war ended fifty years ago. Err
             what's to stop it blowing your balls
             off every time you sit down? Where
             did you get it?
Looking down onto his gun.

                         TOMMY

             Boris the Blade.

                         TURKISH

             You mean Boris the sneaky fucking
             Russian.
Turkish pulls the gun out of Tommy's front.







                                               (CONTINUED)





8   CONTINUED:   (3)





                               TURKISH (CONT'D)

                 I t ' s a bit heavy isn't it?



    H e spins the chamber




                                              CUT TO: CU OF GUN CHAMBER


    INT. BORIS1 HOUSE -- DAY


9





                                              CUT TO: CU OF GUN CHAMBER


                             BORIS

                 The weight is a sign of reliability.
                 I always go for reliability.
    Boris is showing Franky a large pistol.

                               FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

                 I ' l l take it. How much do you want
                 for -it?

                             BORIS

                 Nothing.
    Pause

                             FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

                 Ok, so what do you want for it?

                             BORIS

                 I want you to do something for me .
    Franky nods for him to go on .

                             BORIS (CONT'D)

                 There is a fight in a couple of days:

                             FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

                 What kind of a fight?

                             BORIS

                 Unlicensed boxing.
    The camera tracks into Franky: he has a problem and it's
    been exposed.

                             BORIS (CONT'D)

                 There is a bookies I know that will
                 take bets. If you place one down
                 for me we will call it quits.

                             FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

                 Why don't you put it down yourself?







                                                   (CONTINUED)





9    CONTINUED:





                              BORIS

                  Well there isn't too many bookies
                  that take those kind of bets, and I
                  already have an outstanding debt
                  with the house. I know something
                  most don't. Why don't you put a few
                  pounds down yourself?



     Frankie shrugs and implies he wants to hear more.

                               FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

                  What do you mean?              ·

10   INT. NEW YORK OFFICE --DAY

     On the phone.

                              HANDS

                  Play the game Doug.

11   INT. DOUG'S OFFICE




     DOUG THE HEAD is an east London Jew, about forty five, almost
     completely bald and proud of it, he sits with his two twin
     daughters ALEX and SUSI - they look like Prada models but as
     soon as they open their mouths, it's clear that they aren't,
     they have extremely rough London accents. Doug is on the
     phone to Hands.




                                 DOUG

                  I am playing the game Hands. That's
                  what I ' l l give ya.
     Hands shakes his head in disbelief.

                              HANDS

                  You gotta haggle fairly Doug,
                  otherwise it'll make your hair fall
                  out you'll see.                              .

                              DOUG

                  You know I won't buy poop.

                              HANDS

                  He isn't selling poop.

                              DOUG

                  Listen if the stones are kosher then
                  I'll by em. Now I gotta business, to
                  run.
     He puts the phone down.










                                                 (CONTINUED)





11   CONTINUED:





                              DOUG (CONT'D)

                  That was my cousin Hands, Have I
                  told you about my cousin Hands?

                              ALEX

                  Yes Dad, you have.




                              DOUG

                  He's an important fella.

                              SUSI,   .        .

                  Yes Dad, you told us.

                              ALE X

                  Is that a prawn sandwich you're
                  eating?
     Doug looks mildly embarrassed

                              DOUG

                  Is it?

                          ALEX

              You're Jewish Dad.

                             DOUG

              Yes.     I was last time·I looked.

                            ALEX

              Well you can't eat shell fish, Dad,
              i t ' s against your persuasion.

                          DOUG

              What persuasion myself or the prawns
              belongs to is not the issue, the
              issue is how a fuckin shrimp managed
              to sneak in to' my sandwich.
     Pause.

                              DOUG (CONT'D)

                  Sneaky bastards.



     He throws the half eaten sandwich out the window.

12   EXT. STREET OUTSIDE BOOKIES -- DAY




     We cut to an enormous and frightening looking dog sniffing
     the half eaten prawn sandwich, before he is yanked away by
     his master. The dog is a lively young thing. We raise the
     camera to see the man that is walking it. Meet VINNY. Vinny
     is a very large black man - the size is due to dumplings not
     dumbbells. He .stops outside a shop. We see it clearly.
     I t ' s a pawnbrokers.




                                                   (CONTINUED)





12   CONTINUED:


                                VINNY

                  Move it, come on move" i t .
     Vinny enters the pawn shop.




13   INT. PAWN BROKERS -- DAY




     Meet SOL, who's behind the counter, Vinny's partner in the
     pawn shop. He's concentrating on the deal at hand with BAD
     BOY LINCOLN and has a stone-inspecting monocle to his eye.

                              VINNY

                  Alright Sol, Lincoln.
     They are in deep discussion and only Lincoln responds.

                                B AD BOY LINCOLN

                  Vin.

                              SOL

                  It's a mosinite.

                           BAD BOY LINCOLN

               A whatinnite?

                            SOL

               No, a mosinite.

                           BAD BOY LINCOLN

               How much a night?

                           SOL

               No, a fuckin mosinite.            It's the
               updated zirconia.

                              BAD BOY LINCOLN

                  Enough of bosinites and mosonias,
                  talk English to me Sol?

                              SOL

                  Zirconias are artificial diamonds,
                  they look pretty good to the novice
                  like you Lincoln. But you could
                  break them with a hammer, so they
                  came up with mosinites.

                              BAD BOY LINCOLN

                  What are you saying?

                              SOL

                  I am saying it's worth fuck all.
     Lincoln's face drops







                                                       (CONTINUED)





13   CONTINUED:





                               BAD BOY LINCOLN

                  Fuck what?

                                .SOL

                  I t ' s worth more than fuck what, but
                  not a lot more.

                              VINNY

                  We have told you before Lincoln, you
      ·           stick to being a gangster and leave
                  this game to me and Sol.



     Sol looks round properly at Vin and can see that he's
     accompanied by a dog.        '

                              SOL

                  What's that Vince?

                              VINNY

                  Err, it's a dog Sol.

                              SOL                                 '

                  Where do you think you're going with
                  that Vince?. You can't bring that
                  thing in here.

                              VINNY

                  It's in here, what's the problem,
                  it's only a dog.

                          SOL

              I know full fucking well what it is
              Vin. Where did you get it?

                          VINNY

              Those gypsies, they threw it in with
              a load of moody gold.
     Sol considers this and decides it can't be all bad.

                              SOL

                  It better not be dangerous.

                          VINNY

              Does it look dangerous?

                          SOL

              Yes, it fucking does Vin.          If it so
              much as farts it's out.

                              VINNY

                  If it farts we'll all be out.










                                                    (CONTINUED)





13   CONTINUED:   (2)




     Vin turns around and runs into Boris, who's entered the shop
     without making a noise.

                              VINNY (CONT'D)

                  Jesus, where did you come from?

                                 BORIS

                  Uzbekistan.

                              VINNY

                  Oi Sol, Boris is here.

                              SOL

                  Boris, what's up?

                              BORIS

                  I have a job for you.

                                 SOL

                  Go on.

                              BORIS

                  I want you to hold up a bookies.

                              SOL

                  How high do you want us to hold it?
                  Steady on George. We deal in
                  jewellery Boris, we don't hold up
                  bookies.
     We can hear Vinny in the background

                                 BORIS

                  Hear me out.     This one is different.

14   INT. TOMMY'S VAN -- DAY

     Tommy is driving down a country lane with Gorgeous George in
     the passenger seat.

                               TOMMY

                  Don't you worry Gorgeous, he's a big
                  man granted but you gotta bigger
                  punch than Judy.
     Cut to a caravan camp site comes into view.        It's the PIKEY

     ENCAMPMENT.


                              GORGEOUS GEORGE

                  Jesus what's that?

                               TOMMY

                  That's what we are looking for.







                                                    (CONTINUED)





14   CONTINUED:


                                GORGEOUS GEORGE

                  I t ' s a camp site. It's a pikey
                  campsite.

                                TOMMY

              Ten points.

                          GORGEOUS GEORGE

              What are we doing here?

                          TOMMY

              We are buying a caravan.

                          GORGEOUS GEORGE

              Off a pack of fucking pikies? What's
              wrong with you? This'll get messy.

                          TOMMY

              Not if you're here.

                          GORGE OUS GEORGE

              Oh fuck off Tommy you never said
              anything about pikies.

                          TOMMY

              Calm down, we are buying and then we
              are off.

                          GORGEOUS GEORGE

              Oh you bastard, I hate fuckin pikies.
     They arrive in the camp site and the car is immediately
     surrounded by KIDS. The kids (most of whom are on bikes)
     speak with a sort of Anglo-Irish mix that sounds as rough as
     the kids look.         ,

                          KID 1

              That's a flash car Mister.

                          TOMMY

              Not as flash as your bike though is
              it?

                              KID 1

                  Who you looking for?

                                TOMMY

                  Mr O'Neill.

                              KID 1

                  Do you want me to go and get him?

                                TOMMY

                  Good lad.




                                                  (CONTINUED)





14   CONTINUED: (2_)                .




     There is a pause, the boy doesn't move.

                              TOMMY (CONT'D)

                  Well are you going to go and get
                  him?

                                KID 1

                  Yeah.
     There is another pause.

                              TOMMY

                  Well what are you waiting for?




                              KID 1

                  The five quid you are going to pay
                  me.
     Chuckling.

                              TOMMY

                  Oh fuck off, I'll find him myself.

                                KID 1

                  Two fifty.

                              TOMMY

                  You can have a quid.

                              KID 1

                  Oh you're a tight fucker aren't ya?
     A man shouts from the background. He's a young fella with a
     hard but friendly face (when he smiles). He's covered in
     grease and facial hair, and his trousers are done up with
     string. But he's wearing a Cartier watch and Gucci shoes,
     and a large gold identity bracelet. This is MICKY O'NEILL.

                              MIC KY

                  What are you doing Paul? Get out of
                  the way boy. Are you Tommy, have
                  you come about the caravan?

                                TOMMY

                  Mr O'Neill?

                              MICKY

                  Fuck man, call me Micky.
     Micky comes up to the car, cleaning his grease covered hands
     with a hand towel.

                                TOMMY

                  How are ya?




                                                   (CONTINUED)





14   CONTINUED: ( 3 )





                             MICKY

                 I am well sir, well, quite well, the
                 weather is being kind to us but the
                 engines aren't.



     Gorgeous George steps out of the car.      Micky takes a step
     back.

                             MICKY (CONT'D)

                 Fuck me, would you look at the size
                 of him, Jesus man how big are you?
                 Hey kids how fucking big is he?

                             KID 2

                 He's a big man that's for sure.

                             MICKY

                 Would you look at the size of his
                 muscles? And then look at the size
                 of his fists. Hey Mum, come and
                 look at the size of this fella.
     The kids start to feel his arms. Gorgeous George plays the
     game and raises the kids on his biceps. Micky's MUM comes
     out to see.

                             MICKY (CONT'D)

                 Would you look at the strength of
                 the man? I bet you can box a little
                 can't you sir? You look like a boxer.

                             MUM

                 Get out of the way Micky and see if
                 the fellas would like a drink.

                             TOMMY

                 I could murder one.

                             MUM

                 There won't be any murdering done
                 around here, I don't mind telling
                 ya.

                             MICKY

                 Would the big fella like a cup of
                 tea?

                             MUM

                 Don't be silly Micky, a man didn't
                 get that size from drinking cups of
                 tea. Offer the man a Guiness boy.

                             KID 2

                 Lift me up would you Mister?

                                                (CONTINUED)





14   CONTINUED: ( 4 )





                             KID 3

                 I bet you can't lift us both at the
                 same time.
     Tommy and Gorgeous follow Micky who's walking past a kennel.
     The dogs are in good condition, and are happy as you like to
     see. Micky stops and gives one of them a stroke.

                             MICKY

                 Good dogs, do you like dogs?

                             TOMMY

                 Sure, yeah, I like dogs.   I like
                 caravans more.

15   INT. TYRONE'S CAR

     We open on Vinny's dog, now sitting in a car, it's breathing
     heavily and doesn't look well, and Sol doesn't see the funny
     side of the dog sitting next to him. The man driving is
     called TYRONE: he's a white guy who thinks he's black. Vin
     is also in the car.

                             TYRONE

                 I don't want him dribbling on my             ,
                 seats man.

                             SOL

                 Give him another of those biscuits.
                 They shut him up.

                             VINNY

                 They give him wind.
     Tyrone turns round to complain, and narrowly misses a car.

                             VINNY (CONT'D)

                 Hey watch the road! Fuck me, you
                 want this man to drive us Sol? Can
                 you drive mate?

                             SOL

                 No Vin, he can't tell the difference
                 between a steering wheel and a man
               . on the moon. That' s why I got him.
     Sol gives the dog another biscuit.

                             TYRONE

                 Don't you worry about me, jus worry
                 about the dog on my seats man!
     Tyrone gets out of the car to put some petrol in.







                                                (CONTINUED)





15   CONTINUED:


                           VINNY

               Sol why's he talking like a black
               man?

                           SOL

               I don't know Vin. Oi Tyrone, Vin
               wants to know why you talk like a
               black man?

                           TYRONE

               Roots and ting, seen?



     Sol and Vin raise their eyebrows.

                           VINNY

               Roots and what?

                           SOL

               I don't know. You get that gun from
               Boris?

                           VINNY

               Got it. It wasn't exactly what I
               was expecting, mind. Mean looking
               bastard though, that's for sure.
     Sol unzips a bag.     Inside is a ridiculously powerful shotgun.

                           SOL

               What's that?

                              VINNY

                  It's a shotgun Sol.

                             SOL

               I t ' s a fuckin anti-aircraft gun Vin.
               What are you planning on shooting,
               the angels out of the clouds? That's
               gonna raise more than pulses.

                              VINNY

                  It will raise hell my old son.

                          SOL

              I don't think I really want to see
            · hell Vin. What's wrong with a normal
              gun?

                              VINNY

                  The are psychological advantages to
                  a gun that looks like it can perforate
                  the moon.










                                                   (CONTINUED)





15   CONTINUED: ( ? )




     Tyrone gets into the car, starts it up again and puts some
     money in the car wash machine.

                             SOL

                 Can you get this fuckin dog to stop
                 dribbling on me?
     Vin pulls the dog back.

                              SOL (CONT'D)

                 I worry about you Vin, Jesus, talk
                 about overkill. One look at a crack
                 desperate brother and you could wave
                 a knife and fork around, and I am
                 sure they would lick the salt of
                 your scrotum.
     The car wash starts.

                             VINNY

                 What the fuck are you doing?

                             TYRONE

                 I never do a job unless I have a
                 clean car, I like to make my wheels
                 look crisp.

                             VINNY

                 Are you serious,? You' re a getaway
                 driver, you're not here to show your
                 fuckin car off.               ··.
     The machine starts. They do the windows up and that point
     the dog lets out a fart. The water starts to hit the
     windshield so they can't undo the windows. There is more an
     atmosphere of disbelief than of concrete anger.

16   EXT. CARAVAN CAMP SITE




     Gorgeous George fastens the caravan to the back of their
     Land Rover and pulls away. They wave at Micky and he
     reciprocates.

                             MICKY

                 He's a good dog. He'll get a little
                 homesick for a while but he'11 get
                 over it.
     Tommy has a dog that looks distressed about leaving Micky
     sitting next to him.




17   INT. CAR -- DAY


                           TOMMY

               I don't know what all your fuss was
               about. They aren't bad fellas.
     Just then the wheels of the caravan come straight off and
     the caravan is dragged until the car comes to a sudden stop.
     The dog jumps out the window and goes bounding back to the
     campsite.

18   EXT. CARAVAN -- DAY




     They are looking at the damage.   Of course i t ' s completely
     useless now.

                          . GORGEOUS GEORGE

               I don't think it's supposed to have
               done that.

19   EXT. CARAVAN CAMP SITE -- DAY




     The dog is behind Micky's legs happy to be back.

                           MICKY

               The deal was you bought it how you
               saw it.
      Tommy goes to interrupt but he doesn't get a chance

                           MICKY (CONT'D)

               Look, I have helped ya as much as I
               am gonna help ya. You still got a
               car and I suggest you use it before
               you're not welcome anymore.
     There is a silence for a while. The atmosphere has gone
     more than frosty and a few more gypsies are hanging around.

                           GORGEOUS GEORGE

               Hey...
     Interrupted

                           MICKY

               It was only a question of time before
               you got some attention. Nobody brings
               a fella the size of you unless they
               are trying to say something without
               talking.

                           TOMMY

               Just give us my money and you can
               keep your caravan.










                                               (CONTINUED)





19   CONTINUED:





                               MICKY

                  Why the fuck do I want a caravan
                  that's got no fuckin wheels? I am
                  not going to do that.



     Gorgeous George steps forward.

                              MICKY (CONT'D)

                  Where the fuck do you think you're
                  going? You want to settle this with
                  a fight?

                               MUM

                  You'll do no such thing Michael.
                  You'll...

                              MICKY

                  Alright Mum, we shan't, we'll settle
                  it some other way, now don't get
                  upset.

                              MUM

                  I won't have you fighting, Micky.
     Micky's Mum is getting upset and it's consequently upsetting
     Micky.

                              MICKY

                  Okay mum okay. You need to sit down.
     Micky calls to one of the lads standing by.

                              MICKY (CONT'D)

                  Darren look after Mum. Get her
                  sitting down.
     We see Mum being led out by Darren; Micky looks genuinely
     concerned for his mum. Pause as Micky waits for her to be
     well gone.

                                 MICKY (CONT'D)

                  I ' l l fight you for it.



     Tommy looks at Gorgeous George.        Gorgeous George raises his
     eyebrows.

20   INT. HORSE BOX, PIKEY CAMP -- DAY

     The two fighters start pacing. It looks a bit ridiculous,
     Micky is dwarfed by comparison. Gorgeous George takes a
     swipe: it was an .impressive punch, but Micky is a quick littl
     bastard and sidesteps. Micky does nothing to retaliate; his
     hands are still by his,side.







                                                   (CONTINUED)





20   CONTINUED:




     Gorgeous George lunges out and grabs Micky by the throat and
     groin, picks him up like a sack of spuds and throws him
     against the car door. All eyes are on Micky for a second or
     two, then he rises and appears little bothered by this, he
     gets up brushes himself off and starts to pace again, hardly
     even looking at the big man.

                          GORGEOUS GEORGE

              You want to stay down my friend, I
              promise you, you want to stay down.
     Micky ignores this and continues to pace, the big fella grabs
     him and puts him in a headlock and charges him into the stable
     door. There is a terrible noise.




                          GORGEOUS GEORGE (CONT'D)

              Now you fucking stay down boy or you
              won't be coming up next time.
     It appears as though this is going to get messy and any humour
     that might have been around has now evaporated. Micky raises
     his head there is still no damage to speak of. All of a
     sudden he starts jumping up and down like he's warming up,
     throwing a few shadow punches, taking off his shirt. This
     reveals a heavily tattooed and scarred torso, and underneath
     these embellishments is a physique that warrants some respect.

                          GORGEOUS GEORGE (CONT'D)

              This is sick. I am outta here.

                          MICKY -

              You're not going anywhere my friend.
              You stay until the job is done.
     Micky starts pacing, and throwing out a couple of shadow
     punches with his back to Gorgeous George, he still hasn't
     really acknowledged his opponent. Gorgeous George moves in
     for the coup de grace, Micky spins on his feet and catches
     the big man under the jaw.

     CUT TO BLACK

     FADE IN: We see Gorgeous George lying on the floor with a
     head the size of a water melon. There is blood streaming
     out of every orifice in his head - he's in.big trouble. We
     are in slow motion;- there's a lot of activity going on around
     the body on the floor, their mouths are open but we can't
     hear what they are saying, all we can hear is the voice over
     given by Tommy.




                             TOMMY (V.O.)

                  This isn't good, if George doesn't
                  wake up in the next few minutes I

                              (MORE)





                                                (CONTINUED)





20   CONTINUED: (2)





                           TOMMY ( V . O . ) (CONT'D)

               have a problem. I am scared, really
               fuckin scared. There is something
               coldblooded and practical about what
               these people are thinking. They
               will pop me like a hot sausage if
               George doesn't wake up. Why do they
               want to go to the trouble of
               explaining why a man died in a
               campsite? These people don't exist
               in society, you can't find them,
               they live under their own laws and
               ignore everybody else's. I am scared,
               I am really fuckin scared.




21   INT. AMUSEMENT ARCADE 1 -- DAY

     We see Turkish with a somewhat serious expression on his
     face he has his customary pint of milk on one side, he takes
     a sip and "ohhhs" and "arrrs" for a while.

                          .TURKISH

               So you're telling me he would have
               run you through if Gorgeous hadn't
               woken up?

                           TOMMY

               No, his Mum stopped it. If his Mum
               hadn't turned up, well, I ' d be pikey
               fuckin sausages.

                           TURKISH

               What were you thinking of? Why the
               fuck did you put Gorgeous George
               into a bare knuckle boxing match two
               days before he had to fight the
               Bomber?

                           TOMMY

               He was half his size.
     He pantomimes a man that would reach his navel

                           TOMMY (CONT'D)

               I didn't expect him to get hurt.

                           TURKISH

               You put the man into a bare knuckle
               boxing match.
     He raises his voice













                                              (CONTINUED)





21   CONTINUED:


                           TURKISH (CONT'D)

               What the fuck did you expect? A
               grease down and a shiatsu?

                           TOMMY

               Who took the jam out of your donut?

                          TURKISH

              You took the fuckin jam out of my
              donut Tommy, you did.

                           TOMMY

              You said get a good deal so...

                          TURKISH

              Tell me the correlation between a
              hospitalized boxer and a good deal?
     Pause there is no correlation as Tommy knows.

                          TURKISH (CONT'D)

              How are we going to explain to Brick
              Top that his fight isn't going to              .
              happen?

                          TOMMY

              We replace the fighter.

                          TURKISH

              Oh what, and hope he doesn't notice?
              And who the fuck are we going to
              replace him with?

                          TOMMY

              John "The Gun?" Or "Mad Fist" Willy?

                          TURKISH

              You're not exactly Mr Current Affairs,
              are you Tommy? Mad Fist went mad,
              and the "Gun" shot himself.

                          TOMMY

              What about Clam Hand Tony?

                          TURKISH

              Got his fingers caught in the till.
              He's no good to anyone.

                          TOMMY

              Why not?













                                               (CONTINUED)





21   CONTINUED: (2)





                             TURKISH

                A bare .knuckle boxer isn't a lot of
                good without any fuckin knuckles,
                Tommy.
     Pause for thought, then Turkish has the look of a man that
     has come across a really bright idea.

                             TURKISH (CONT'D)

                Jesus!




                             TOMMY

                What?




                            TURKISH

                Let's use the fuckin pikey.

22   INT. DOUG'S OFFICE -- DAY

     Doug the Head and Franky Four Fingers are doing a deal.
     Doug has a case open and is admiring a couple of stones.

                            FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

                From Russia with love. You
                interested?                                .

                            DOUG

                I told you I was interested.
     Pause.   Franky's in a rush.

                           FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

               I got stones to sell, fat to chew
               and many different men to see about
               many different dogs, so if I am not
               rushing you, could you spit shine
               the top of your smoothie and move a
               little faster?

                            DOUG

                Hold tight Franky, when in Rome.

                            FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

                I am not in Rome Doug, I am in a
                rush.
     He looks at his watch

                            FRANKY FOUR FINGERS (CONT'D)

                I gotta make the bookies.




                           DOUG

                Bookies? What you betting on?







                                                (CONTINUED)





22   CONTINUED:





                              FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

                  Some guy called Bomber Harris.

                              DOUG

                  The unlicensed boxer? You know
                  something I don't?

                              FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

                  Maybe.
     Doug raises his eyebrows




                              DOUG

                  You get busy Franky. Put a couple
                  of hundred down for me.

23   INT. PIKEY ENCAMPMENT -- DAY





                              TURKISH

                  What do you say?

                              MICKY

                  How much you going to pay us?

                              TOMMY

                  Ten k.

                              MICKY

                  I lose more than that running for
                  the bus. I ' l l do it for a caravan.

                              TURKISH

                  A what?

                              MICKY

                  No a caravan.

                              TOMMY

                  A what?

                              M ICKY

                  You are sitting in one if that makes
                  things easier. I want a top caravan.

                              TOMMY

                  It was us that wanted a caravan.-
                  Anyway what's wrong with this one?

                              MICKY

                  It's not for me, it ' s for me Mum.

24   INT. DOUG'S OFFICE -- MORNING

     Doug is on the phone to Hands.




                                                    (CONTINUED)





24   CONTINUED:


                           DOUG

               I overpaid Hands, I want you to
               recognize charity when i t ' s offered.

                           HANDS

               Do shut up, where is he now?

                           DOUG

               I don't know Hands, I ' m not his
               mother. But I am seeing him later.

                            HANDS

               When?

                          DOUG

              He wants cash so he's coming back
              after he has been to a fight.
     There is a serious expression of alarm on Hands's face - the
     camera crashes in.

                          HANDS

              What do you mean a fight, you mean a
              boxing match? Is there gambling
              involved?

                             DOUG

               I t ' s a boxing match Hands.
     Hands isn't happy.

                          HANDS

              Did he have a case with him?

                            DOUG

              Yes.

                          HANDS

              And he's gone gambling? That's Franky
              "I have a problem with gambling"
              fuckin Four Fingers, you are talking
              about Doug.

                           DOUG

               What am I, telepathic?

                           HANDS

               Franky is good at buying stones Doug
               but he's a fuckin liability when it
               comes to gambling. That has cost
               me. So in turn rit' s cost him. He
               gets distracted and chopping off a
               digit seems to focus his attention.







                                               (CONTINUED)





24   CONTINUED: ( 2 )





                             DOUG

                 How much can he lose?
     Hands pulls a face like "what kind of a stupid question is
     that?" He them starts to shout

                               HANDS

                 I ' l l not forgive you Doug, I am coming
                 over, get me that car.
     The phone is slammed down.




                                                                   CUT TO:


25   EXT. AIRPLANE --




     We see the undercarriage of Concorde taking off.

26   INT. BRICK TOP'S PUB --




     Tommy and Turkish walk into a pub and approach the BARMAN.
     They reach the bar.    .            .

                             TURKISH

                 We are here to see Brick Top.
     The barman looks them up and down a bit.      He's not doing
     anything.

                             BARMAN

                 I am very busy at the moment.

                             TURKISH                           ·

                 I am not asking you to break sweat,
               . I am asking you to call Brick Top.

                              BARMAN

                 Who?

                              TURKISH

                 Brick Top.

                             BARMAN

                 Never heard of him.

                       . ... : TURKISH               :

                 Well make a call and see if someone
                 else has. Say it's Turkish.
     The barman looks bothered by the fact he has to move but
     wanders off. Turkish looks at the pool table.










                                                 (CONTINUED)





26   CONTINUED:


                              TURKISH (CONT'D)

                  You know what he's done to people on
                  that pool table?
     They both give the table an eyeball.




                              TOMMY

                  What, potted more balls than any
                  other player? What else can you do
                  to people on a pool table?

                              TURKISH

                  Quite a fuckin lot if you nail 'em
                  to it.



     TWO HEAVY LOOKING FELLAS appear out of the woodwork.

                              HEAVY FELLA

                  You Turkish?

                               TURKISH

                  Yup.   -

                               HEAVY FELLA

                  Follow me.
     The heavy fella opens up the bar and beckons Turkish and
     Tommy through. They go through another door and the corridor
     turns into a mass of dogs barking, snarling 'and whining in
     cages. The mood is sinister..they reach another door, they
     open up and we are introduced to a dog fight. A load of
     HEAVY GEEZERS are commenting on the performance of the dogs,
     one dog is being carried out by a single leg, it's covered
     in blood. Another dog is left in the ring, it too is covered
     in blood but it's survived.

                               TURKISH

                  They can charm the paint off walls
                  these fellas.

27   INT. BACK OF PUB - DOG FIGHT -- NIGHT

     A circle of blunt faces are exchanging money with one another
     A few faces turn round to examine Tommy and Turkish, they
     frown slightly but carry on about their business once they
     see they are accompanied by the muscle.
     The heavy walks over to Brick Top. The heavy taps him on
     the shoulder and whispers. He acknowledges, and gives his
     drink to the heavy. He walks over. There is a cage next to
     Brick Top which has a pit bull in, and Brick Top who is
     carrying a cane pokes it through the cage doors. The dog
     snarls back.







                                                  (CONTINUED)





27   CONTINUED:


                           BRICK TOP

               Look mean now you hairy fucker won't
               ya?
     He looks at the appalled faces of Turkish and Tommy.

                           BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

               Shits itself when you put it in the
               ring, but poke .it with a stick and
               watch his bollocks grow. You like a
               dog fight, Turkish?

                           TURKISH

               I like my dog to growl at the post
               man.

                           BRICK TOP

               Gorgeous ready for tonight?

                           TURKISH

               We don'c have a Gorgeous anymore.
     Brick Top turns round and indicates that he would like the
     noise around him to drop. It does marginally.

                           BRICK TOP

               You're going to have to repeat that.

                           TURKISH

               We have lost Gorgeous George.
     Brick Top turns round again at the already subdued crowd, he
     doesn't raise his voice but the crowd reacts.

                               BRICK TOP

                  I said keep the noise down.. . .
     A tangible silence between the men reflects Brick Top's
     authority.

                              BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

                  Well, where did you lose him? He
                  isn't a set of fuckin car keys is
                  he? And it's not as though he is
                  inconfuckinspicuous is it?

                              TURKISH

                  I am not backing out.

                              BRICK TOP

                  You can bet your bollocks to a barn
                  dance you're not backing out.










                                                     (CONTINUED)





27   CONTINUED: .(2)





                            TOMMY

                We are changing the fighter.
     Brick Top wasn't expecting anything out of Tommy.




                            BRICK TOP

                Oh fuck me your lady friend has got
                a voice. And who might you be
                changing him to, sweetheart?

                            TURKISH

                You won't know him.
     Pause: a look of you're kidding comes over his face.




                            BRICK TOP

                Are you taking the piss?

                            TURKISH

                No, there was an accident.

                            BRICK TOP

                I'll show you a fuckin accident.

                            TURKISH

                You've still got your fight.

                            BRICK TOP

                No, I lose all bets at the bookies.
                You can't change fighters at the
                last minute, so no, I don't have my
                fight do I, you fuckin prat!

                            TOMMY

                You could take bets at the fight.

                            BRICK TOP

                Put a lead on her Turkish,     Before
                she gets bitten.
     Pause

                            BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

                Make sure your man goes down in the
                fourth. You're on thin fuckin ice
                my pedigree chums and I'll be there
                if it breaks.

28   EXT. BOOKIES

     The black guys pull up in'Tyrone's car outside the bookies
     Vin is playing with the dog in the back.










                                                 (CONTINUED)





28   CONTINUED:


                           SOL

               I am not happy about that dog Vin,
               you can't bring a dog on a job.

                           VINNY

               You can't leave him on his own, not
               to begin with, he gets homesick.

                           SOL

               Homesick, for fucks sake.

                           VINNY

               He does. If he gets the chance he
               runs back to the gypsies' campsite.

                           SOL

               Ohh shut up, how can he find it?

                           VINNY

               I don't know Sol, I am not a dog.
               Ask him. It' s like he's got a fuckin
               homing beacon. Give him the chance
               and he's off.

                           SOL

               You're going soft Vin? Here pass me
               a sandwich.
     Vin throws a sandwich to Sol but the dog catches it whilst
     i t ' s in flight and swallows it in one gulp.

                           SOL (CONT'D)

               Jessssus, he didn't even chew it.
     The car has stopped.

                           VINNY

               What have you stopped here for?
               What's wrong with that space?

                              TYRONE

                  It's too tight.

                           VINNY

               What are you talking about, tight?
               You could land a jumbo fuckin jet in
               there.

                              SOL

                  Leave him alone, he's a natural.
     Tyrone gets a little over-excited with the accelerator and
     reverses with a crashing sound into the rear of the van behin
     them (ie it:s parked back to back with them).




                                                (CONTINUED)





28    CONTINUED: ( 2 )





                              VINNY

                  A natural fuckin idiot.    Tyrone,
                  what have you done?

                              TYRONE

                  Look, you hassle me, see what happens.
       Tyrone makes to move the van forward again.

                              VINNY

                  Well don't move it now, otherwise
                  people will see the damage. What
                  did you do that for?                        ^

                              TYRONE

                  I didn't see it there.

                              VINNY

                  Eh? It's a four ton truck. It' s
                  not as though i t ' s a ferret fuckin a
                  flea is it?

                              TYRONE

                  It was at a funny angle.
      Vin is confused as to this last statement.

                              VINNY

                  Funny angle? It was behind you
                  Tyrone, whenever you reverse things
                  come from behind you. I am not happy
                  Sol.
     - The dog starts whining.

                              VINNY (CONT'D)

                  Give him something to shut him up.



       Sol throws a plastic squeaky dog ball that was in the front.
       The dog grabs in and swallows it in one gulp. The brothers
       look on in shock.

                              SOL

                  He can't swallow a whole ball.

                              TYRONE

                  He swallowed it.
       The dog looks up having completed the task. Vin who looks
       quite alarmed holds the dog by the ribs and squeezes, there
       is a squeak.




29   EXT. AIRPORT. --

     Doug and Alex are waiting to pick- up Hands.

                           DOUG

               Did you get Hands that car?

                           ALEX

               I got him one like it.
     Doug is in shock.

                           DOUG

               What do you mean one like it?

                           ALEX

               I got him the Volante.

                           DOUG

               What did I say? What exactly did I
               say?

                           ALEX

               You said get him the Vantage.

                           DOUG

               That's right, I clearly said get him
               the Vantage. So why did you get the
               Volante?                                      ;

                           ALEX

               Because they look the same.

                           DOUG

               The Septuagint scholars mistranslated
               the Hebrew word for "young woman" in
               to the Greek word for "virgin",
               because they thought they looked the
               same, coming up with the prophecy
               "behold a virgin shall conceive and
               bear a son". But there is a world
               of difference between a virgin and a
               young woman like there is between a
               Volante and a fuckin Vantage.
     '.Pause: she thinks about this.

                           ALEX

               Are you saying that the fact that
               your cousin Hands is driving a Valiant
               instead of a Vantage is a profound a
               mistake as a whole religion?

                           DOUG

               Yes I fuckin am!

                           (MORE)





                                               (CONTINUED)





29   CONTINUED ·





                               DOUG (CONT'D)

                   Cars are his religion. He can drive
                   a Valiant in the States but I can't
                   drive a Vantage because they won't
                   tolerate the emissions. Well, it's
                   too late now, that's Concorde.

     SHOT OF CONCORDE'S WHEELS TOUCHING DOWN


30   EXT. AIRPORT -- DAY




     Hands and his sidekick Rosebud are coming out of the sliding
     glass doors towards Doug who's now standing by the car with
     his arms crossed. Hands is quite clearly looking for a car.

                               DOUG

                   How about a hug for your old cousin
                   Doug?
     He stops looking for his car and focuses on Doug.

                              · HANDS

                   Fuck off you fat bald bastard - and
                   where's my car?

31   EXT. BOOKIES

     The black guys are sitting in the car still.         The occasional
     squeak comes from the dog.

                               VINNY

                   How am I going to get it out?

                               SOL

                   He'll probably cough it up.

                               VINNY

                   Do you think he'll be alright?
     Sol shrugs.

                               SOL

                   Hope not.

                               TYRONE

                   What are we waiting for?

                               SOL

                   We are waiting for a man carrying a
                   case.

                                                      (


                               TYRONE

                   Why?







                                                    (CONTINUED)





31   CONTINUED:


                              SOL

                  Because the deal is that we give the
                  Russian the case and we keep the
                  money.
     He rubs his fingers symbolically together




                              TYRONE

                  What's in the case?
     Sol turns round to talk to Tyrone.

                              SOL

                  Fuckin 'ell Tyrone you ask a lot of
                  questions. You concentrate on the
                  driving okay?
     He turns back just as a MAN is stepping into the bookies: he
     is carrying a case.

                              SOL (CONT'D)

                  Shit, was that him?

          .'               VINNY

               Don't ask me, you're the one supposed
               to keep an eye on it. How many
               fingers did he have?

                           SOL

               Are you serious? I am sorry but I
               couldn't get the binoculars out in
               time.

                           VINNY

               Well let's not stand on ceremony,
               let's start the show.
     They get out of the van and go up to the bookies, leaving
     Tyrone in the van. There's a double set of glass doors.
     Sol pushes them open, and Vinny walks in first, while Sol
     hangs back with the shotgun.

32   INT. BOOKIES -- DAY

     Inside is the MAN with the case, busy filling in a slip, and
     TWO CLERKS behind the betting counter. Vinny doesn't mince
     around and goes straight to the counter, where the HEAD CLERK
     PAULINE, comes up to help.

                              PAULINE

                  Yes sir, how can I help?













                                                (CONTINUED)





32   CONTINUED:





                          VINNY

              You can start by giving me all your
              money.




                          PAULINE

              Does Sir know who this bookies belongs
              to?

                               VINNY

                  It. belongs to me now.
     Vinny then leans over the counter to get menacing.              Pauline
     looks more than a little concerned

                              VINNY (CONT'D)

                  If you know what's good for...
     He is cut short, as Pauline triggers a button under the
     counter and a security screen comes flying up at a very rapid
     rate of knots protecting all the counters. This has the
     unfortunate consequence of taking Vinny with it. Poor Vin
     is shot straight to the ceiling, all we can see is half a
     body and his desperately searching for ground legs. Needless
     to say this leaves Sol in a bit of a bewildered state. He's
     looking the wrong way at the critical moment and is left
     wondering what happened, not having seen Vince impaled on
     the ceiling. Sol extracts the enormous shotgun.




                           SOL

              Vi nce ? Vince??
     He spins round looking for his colleague. A muffled noise
     tells him to look up.     ,

                          SOL (CONT'D)                           .

              What are you doing Vince? And what
              the fuck are you doing up there?
     A few groans emanate from the other side of the counter.
     Sol panics some more, and decides that emergency action is
     called for.                               .

                              SOL (CONT'D)

                  I have got your man out here. If
                  you don't put down the screen I'll
                  blow his fucking head off! You hear
                  me?

                              PAULINE ( O . S . )

                  I don't care, you can do what you
                  like he's not related to me.

                              SOL

                  You think you can try me?




                                                   (CONTINUED)





32   CONTINUED: (2.)




     Sol raises the gun and fires into the side .of- the wall.
     There's an enormous explosion and a clear hole is made in
     the side of the wall. The powerful kick from the gun also
     makes Sol momentarily airborne.




33   EXT. BLACK GUYS' VAN -- DAY




     We see Tyrone grimace at the sound of the shotgun.

34   INT. BOOKIES -- DAY




     Sol pulls himself together and marches up to the hole in the
     wall that the shot created and pokes the gun through.

                            SOL

                Drop the screen now! You just seen
                what it did to this wall so think
                what it could do to you.
     Pauline knows she has lost this one and looks genuinely
     scared.

                               PAULINE

                     (to the other clerk)
               . Do it. . . . I said do it.
     The screen comes down with a thud. This means that Vince
     comes down with just as serious a thud. He lets out another
     groan.

                            SOL

                How you doing Vince?
     A weakened voice retorts.

                            VINNY

                How do I look like I am doing you
                fucking idiot? I would be doing a
                lot better if you would stop using
                my name.
     Consoled that his colleague is not dead it's back to business
     for Sol. He raises the gun and pulls his fiercest face.

                                SOL

                Now fill this bag. . . ' . - . -

                            PAULINE

                All bets are off.

                            SOL

                I am not here to make a fuckin bet.










                                                   (CONTINUED)





34   CONTINUED:





                            PAULINE

               All bets are off.

                           SOL

               Are you fuckin stupid? I don't care
               if the fuckin bets are off. I want...

                           PAULINE

               If all bets are off then there can't
               be any money, can there?
     There is a pause. Sol knows he's fucked. She points to a
     black board that clearly states "ALL BETS ARE OFF"

                            SOL

               I ain't buying that.

                           PAULINE

               I ain't fuckin selling it, it's a
               fact!                                         . ''.
     Pause

                            SOL

               Well, what have you got?

                            PAULINE

               Nothing, I mean we got a few coins
               but no notes.

                           VINNY

               Can we just get out of here please.
               I am not feeling too funny.
     Sol's temper does have a limit.

                           SOL

               Well I am not feeling too fucking
               funny myself, let me tell you!
     Sol points at the man on the floor who is carrying the case.

                              SOL (CONT'D)

                  Let me see your hands.
     The man holds his hands up. He has got a perfect set of
     five fingers on both hands. Sol puts his head in his hands.
     Pauline and the other clerk put two bags full of coins on
     the counter. Sol picks them up and frowns, he's not happy
     with a bag full of change. He puts his gun down and starts
     to rifle through the bag. Pauline can see Vinny's pistol on
     the counter, dropped after his encounter with the screen.










                                              (CONTINUED)





34   CONTINUED: (2.)





                            SOL (CONT.'D)

                Copper coins?   What do you mean copper
                fuckin coins?
     Pauline sees her opportunity and grabs the pistol. Sol .goes
     for it too, but he's beaten to it. Sol ducks, pulling Vince
     with him, Pauline lets out a series of shots in their
     direction, Sol counter blasts over the top of the counter.
     The security screen comes flying back up.

                            VINNY                             .

                Get me out of here now Sol.
     Vinny does sound convincingly desperate.

                            SOL

                We're going Vin.
     He grabs the bag of copper coins, grabs Vince and marches
     towards the double'doors. They open the first set and then
     they try to open the second. They push the door nothing
     happens. There is no going back. Sol starts to kick the
     glass door, but it doesn't budge. With panic rising swiftly,
     Sol doesn't fuck around he takes aim with the handgun and
     fires, the bullet shatters the glass but it doesn't break
     through, and the bullet now ricochets off both glass doors
     shattering bullet-proof glass all around them. Vinny's panic
     filled eyes attempt to follow its trajectory. Sol is unaware
     of the ricochet and before Vin has time to warn him, Sol
     fires another bullet. Now he observes the problem and waits
     for the inevitable. The bullet tears through the bag of
     coins, which then empties its contents at Vin's and Sol's
     feet. Eventually the bullet hits poor Vince in the thigh.
     Sol sinks to the floor, he has given up. Amongst the yells
     emanating from Vince we can hear Sol's pathetic and desperate
     whimpering.




                            SOL (CONT'D)

                No security, eh?
     At that point Tyrone appears and pushes the door open. The
     door was open the whole time - only Sol was pushing it the

                                                    ,,   ·    '

     wrong way.

                            TYRONE

                What the fuck are you two doing?
     They stumble out into the street. Vinny is in big trouble.
     They throw him into the van. Just as Sol gets into the back,
     we hear kicking noises on metal from the van behind. Tyrone
     pulls out. And the rear doors of the van behind them fly
     open. Franky Four Fingers appears from the back of this ·
     van. He was locked in due to the fact that the black guys'
     van was blocking his exit.




                                                (CONTINUED)





34   CONTINUED:   (3.)





                              SOL

                  Tyrone get us outta here.
     Tyrone takes an interest in the man from the van (ie Franky)
     seeing that he's carrying a case and the case is connected
     to his wrist.

                              SOL (CONT'D)

                  I said, get us outta here Tyrone!

35   EXT. CAESARS PALACE STREATHAM




     The Aston Martin comes to a screeching halt outside. Doug
     is quite pale from the ride. Hands looks almost satisfied
     with the car.

                                HANDS

          ...-.!         gotta say it's not bad.
     He then looks at the sign of the rundown venue, his eyes
     squint incredulously.

                              HANDS (CONT'D)

                  Caesar's Palace?

36   INT. CAESARS PALACE STREATHAM

     Doug approaches the entrance.

                              DOORMAN

                  Private night tonight chaps.
     Doug passes him a ticket. The doorman steps to the side.
     They continue to walk past several other doorman who all
     inspect the ticket.

                              HANDS

                  Jesus are we ever going to get in
                  there?

                              DOUG

                  You gotta understand that this isn't
                  exactly Vegas and it's not exactly
                  legal.

                              HANDS

                  I am not looking for Vegas, Doug, I
                  am looking for Franky Four Fingers.

                              DOUG

                  Well he said he was going to be here.













                                                   (CONTINUED)





36   CONTINUED:     .


                              HANDS

                  If there's gambling involved, he'll
                  be here.
     They get nudged aside by an entourage of men coming through.

                              HANDS (CONT'D)

                  Hello, who's your man?
     Hands points out Brick Top who is being crowded by minders.

                              DOUG

                  Horrible bastard, it's his fight,
                  made all his money in.



     He touches the side of his nose and inhales.

                               HANDS

                  Original.

                              DOUG

                  So he doesn't need to do this, but
                  he's got dark taste for fights and
                  blood, he wants to impress London's
                  criminal royalty..
     He points out JACK "THE ALL SEEING EYE" and SALT PETER:
     they are surrounded by heavies.

                               DOUG (CONT'D)

                  ..with a tip on when who hits the
                  floor. Any man with veins in his
                  brains knows Brick Top knows the
                  answer.
     Cut back to Jack and Salt Pete.

                               DOUG (CONT'D)

                  Those boys make Brick top look like
                  a skirt clinging thumb sucker. And
                  i f y o u p l a y wi t h f i r e . . . ·
     Cut to a few still shots of atrocities committed by the men
     in question.                                              ,




                                           .:   CUT TO: TURKISH & MICKY


                              TURKISH

                  So Michael, you got it clear? It's
                  the fourth round. I'll tap you anyway
                  to let you know when to go down.










                                                    (CONTINUED)





36   CONTINUED: ( 2 )





                               MICKY

                   Just make sure the man doesn't kill
                   me before the fuckin fourth.

                                                CUT TO:BRICK TOP & ERROL


               :








                               BRICK TOP

                   As long as we keep them happy.
     Brick Top nods at Jack and Salt Peter, they nod back.

                               BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

                   Make sure they are kept sweet. The
                   last thing I want is them fuckin
                   moaning.

37   INT. BOXING RING -- NIGHT


                               REF           .'·

                   In the blue corner I have the young
                   and only unchallenged cutthroat of
                   calamity, meaner than Beelzebub's
                   conscience cleaner. Give it up for
                   the bone crunching one punch machine
                   gun -- Micky.
     A murky sound of displeasure emanates round the arena.         The
     audience don't know who he is and don't care either.

                               R EF (CONT'D)

                   And in the other corner a man that
                   needs no introduction to destruction,
                   the solo warrior of Walthamstow,
                   sometimes known as Buckshot Peter,
                   or sometimes known as the dictator .
                   to the devastator, he put the ' e ' in
                   eradicate, the ' o ' in obliterate and
                   the ' a 1 in annihilate, you know this
                   monster of a monster, the sinister
                   prime minister.. . . "Bomber the
                   "mad man" Harris"!
     The audience goes mad. It's hard to tell whether it's out
     of affectionate enthusiasm or just enthusiasm.

                                R EF (CONT'D)

                   Now I want a good dirty fight lads,
                   So now it's that time again.. . .
                   Let's. . . . Get ready to
                   rrrrrrummmmmble.
     The two come out to fight. Bomber Harris lifts his monster
     hands to do damage. They pace each other for a second.
     Then Micky lets one go.                 <




                                                    ( CONTIN UED)





37   CONTINUED:

     It hits Bomber Harris square on the jaw this has the effect
     of forcing blood out of his ears the man is positively out
     cold. We crashtrack into various characters' reactions:
     Brick Top, Turkish and Tommy etc. All are in shock. The
     ref (who is obviously paid off as well) tries to resuscitate
     Harris/ but it's not happening, he catches a look of
     desperation from one of the villains and is eventually left
     with little choice but to hold Micky's hand up. We cut to
     the nasty looking characters that we saw before they have
     approached with their heavies, and they are obviously not
     satisfied.            .

                              SALT PETER

                  Tha-nks for the tip, Brick top.

                              JACK THE ALL SEEING EYE

                  I have just said goodbye to forty
                  large because of you, what's the
                  crack?

                                                                    :


38   EXT. STREET OUTSIDE BOOKIES -- DAY




     (NB: the first half of this scene happens about midway scene
     28 - as Tyrone parks the van )
     We cut back to Frankie Four Fingers getting out of his van.
     He takes a quick look around and enters the back of his van.
     There he raises the spare tire and picks up his gun, he
     examines it and places it in his trouser front. He then
     turns to exit. At which point there is a loud smash and
     Franky is knocked backwards (as Tyrone hits his van).

     WE CUT TO BLACK.                  '


     WE FADE UP

     (Time-wise, we're now at the end of scene 34)
     Frankie wakes up. He has a trickle of blood dripping down
     the back of his neck, he looks at his watch and panics. He
     kicks the doors a couple of times - nothing happens, but on
     the third kick the doors spring open. Franky brushes himself
     off and makes his way to the bookies.

39   EXT. STREET OUTSIDE BOOKIES --DAY




     We cut to Tyrone. Tyrone clocks the case attached to Franky'
     wrist. Gets out and slams the end of the gun across Franky
     Four Fingers' head. He falls to the ground. Tyrone tries
     to take the case off him but i t ' s handcuffed to his wrist.
     So he has little choice but to pick him up and throw him in
     to the back of the car with the other two.




40   INT. PAWN BROKERS -- DAY

     We cut to the   black guys trying to open the case. They have
     Franky's hand   up on a desk and are fiddling with the handcuff,
     whatever they   are trying to break in with snaps off. Vinny
     is frustrated   and illustrates his dissatisfaction.

                            SOL

               Where ' s the Russian?

                           VINNY

               He should be here in a minute.     Well
               get him to open it.
     Vinny turns to Franky who has tape over his eyes.

                            VINNY (CONT'D)

              Oi, you, Four Fingers, how are we
              going to get into your case?

                           FRANKY THREE FINGERS

               If you take the tape off my eyes ·
               I Ml tell you.

                          SOL

              What do you need the tape off your
              eyes for? You talk out of them?

                 ·        VINNY

              Just tell us the combination.

                          FRANKY THREE FINGERS

              I can't remember the combination I
              can only do it if I see it .
     Pause

                          VINNY

              You look at us and it's good night.
     Vinny takes it off. Franky blinks at the revelation of light.
     And gets busy opening the case .

                            SOL

               Come on.
     He opens it - and it's got about a grand inside.

                            VINNY

              And?

                           FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

               And here's the money.













                                                (CONTINUED)





40   CONTINUED:    .





                              VINNY

                  I don't believe this.      Why are you
                  carrying round a case with this little
                  in it?      .                        .



     Vin turns to Sol and Tyrone who is leaning on the big shotgun
     At which point Franky pulls out the gun from the secret
     compartment in the case.

                              FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

                  Now be a bunch of good fellas and
                  lie down on the floor.



     Tyrone goes for the big gun and Franky pulls the trigger.
     Nothing happens other than a big click, there is silence for
     a long second and the black guys open their tightly shut
     eyes.                                                      :




                              TYRONE

                  Whoops.
     Tyrone also looks into the case and sees the. open secret
     compartment: this also reveals the stone.

                              TYRONE (CONT'D)

                  Hello what have we got here?

41   EXT. PAWN BROKERS

     Boris is admiring the outside of the shop.        He walks in.

42   INT. PAWN BROKERS

     Franky is tied up on a stool, in front of him is the case
     and it's open. Boris waves the black guys to come into the
     corridor so they can talk without being heard.

                              BORIS

                  What are you doing with him?

                              SOL

                  The case was attached to his body.

                              BORIS

                  So why didn't you chop it off?
     Sol looks horrified by the thought.

                              VINNY

                  Err, because we didn't. Now Boris
                  we have or rather you have a problem.

                              BORIS

                  What?




                                                   (CONTINUED)





42   CONTINUED:


                            . SOL

                  There wasn't any money there.                   v



     Boris pulls out a wad of notes

                            BORIS

               There's ten grand.

                           VINNY

               Keep it. We want this, or at least
               half of this.

                                                                <


                                                                ,

     Vin holds up the stone: the atmosphere changes.

                           BORIS

               What was in the case was mine, what
               was in the bookies was yours, ok
               there wasn't much but, here's ten
               large to help the situation.

                           VINNY

               I am afraid it's too late for that
               Boris.                  -
     He holds up the diamond. Boris1 eyes follow him as he walks
     back into the room where Franky is and puts the diamond back
     into the case while he's talking and changes the combination.

                           VINNY (CONT'D)

               We want half and that's because we
               are being generous. We could by
               rights keep the whole fuckin stone.
     Boris grimaces and pulls out a gun from god knows where, and
     within a second shoots poor Franky in the face. Franky's
     body disappears off the stool that he was sitting on. The
     black guys are stunned into silence.

                           BORIS

               You fuckin idiots. He couldn't know
               who I am. Now open the case and
               give me.the stone.
     The black guys are left with their mouths open, everything
     just changed gear and they weren't expecting that.

                              BORIS (CONT'D)

               Who's next? You have the ten grand
               now give me the stone.
     The pause continues. Boris lets a shot off that tears
     worryingly close to Sol's head.







                                                  (CONTINUED)





42   CONTINUED:   (2.)





                              SOL

                  The only man that knows the
                  combination you just shot.
     Boris appears little bothered by this and whips out a four
     foot machete that he was concealing about his person. He
     pulls the case towards him and brings the machete down with
     full force. We can tell by the expression on Tyrone's face
     that it must have been some part of Franky's anatomy.
     Pointing to the ground:

                              BORIS

                  He's your problem now. You can keep
                  the" ten grand along with the body,
                  but if I see you again...well look
                  at him.
     He points to Franky. While he is saying this he bends down
     and picks up the case from the floor and wraps the severed
     arm in newspaper. He then walks out of the shop casual as
     you like.

43   EXT. AMUSEMENT ARCADE LONDON -- MORNING




     Turkish pulls up outside his arcade and has a look around:
     all seems to be clear.

                              TURKISH

                  I ain't going in the front.

                              TOMMY

                  I don't think it's a good idea you
                  going in at all.
     The car surges off round the back.

                              TURKISH

                  Unless you are going to
                  transcendentally extract the passports
                  and cash from out of a steel safe, I
                  can't see any other way of getting
                  them. Keep your eyes peeled.
     Turkish has another look around the back

                              TURKISH (CONT'D)

                  Well I can't see anyone. After I
                  have got in go round the front and
                  call me if you see anything.

44   INT. AMUSEMENT ARCADE

     Turkish lets himself in and walks through.        Everything seems
     to be fine.     ·




                                                (CONTINUED)





44   CONTINUED:




     He walks into his office, has a quick look around and makes
     his way to the safe under the floor. He decides to put the
     kettle on, does so, and his attention is caught by something,
     he looks at the cups on the side and sees that one is waiting
     to be made. He stands back and looks at the cupboards he
     sees that they are all open. Then he sees that the kettle
     is already boiled.




                                ERROL

                  Oink, oink.    Where do you keep the
                  sugar?

                              TURKISH

                  Shit you scared the life outta me.

                              JOHN

                  You wait till you see what the pigs
                  do to you.

                          TURKISH

              What brings you two here, run out of
              pants to sniff?

                              ERROL

                  That's very good Turkish.

                          JOHN

              Very cool Turkish.

                          TURKISH

              Well what do you want?

                          EROL

              I want two sugars in my tea.       What
              do you want John?

                          JOHN

              I want to see him lying cold and
              still, but we aren't here for what
              we want are we Errol?
     Errol shakes his head slowly.       Turkish's phone rings.   They
     let it ring for a while.

                              ERROL

                  Well aren't you going to answer it?
     Turkish does.

45   EXT. AMUSEMENT ARCADE LONDON -- MORNING

     Tommy on the phone.










                                                 (CONTINUED)





45   CONTINUED:


                          TOMMY

              Brick Top's just landed, he's walking
              in the front, I would move it if I
              were you Turkish...
     Turkish puts down the phone

                          ERROL

              What's happening with the tea?

                          TURKISH

              Help yourself. You have to every
              thing else.




                          ERROL

              That sounds like hostility, doesn't
              it John?

                          JOHN

              Oh we don't like hostility do we
              .Errol?

                            EROL

              No John we don't, but I am sure he
              could be pacified, what do you think
              John? Here you hold his arms, and
              I ' l l hold his legs.
     In walks Brick Top before the boys have had a chance to get
     a grip.

                                TURKISH

                  Brick Top.

                                 BR,ICK TOP

                  Turkish.     Got the kettle on?
     Turkish adapts to his new circumstances.

                              TURKISH

                  You want sugar?

                              BRICK TOP

                  No thank you Turkish, I am sweet
                  enough.

                              TURKISH

                  If I turn my back am I going to get
                  a hole through it?

                               BRICK TOP

                  Don't be silly Turkish, if I wanted
                  you dead would I be talking?. . .

                               (MORE)





                                                    (CONTINUED)





45   CONTINUED: (2)





                           BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

               Carry on. You've provided me with a
               problem, which you gonna have to
               remedy. I gotta bare knuckle fight
               in a couple of days. I want to use
               the pikey.




                             TURKISH

               Of course.

                             BRICK TOP

               Of course fuckin of course, I wasn't
               asking I was telling. But this time
               I do want him to go down in the
               fourth. And I do mean it this time.
     Pause

                           BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

               Now I know you,came back. to. open
               your safe, so now you can open it.                .
     There is nothing Turkish can do.

46   EXT. AMUSEMENT ARCADE

     Brick Top exits with Errol and John and grimaces with.the
     light. He's holding the contents of Turkish's safe.

                           BRICK TOP

               He's been a busy little bastard that
               Turkish.

                           ERROL

               I think you have let him get away
               with enough all ready gov.
     Brick Top looks round with some concern.

                             BRICK TOP

               It can get you into a lot of trouble
               thinking Errol, I shouldn't do so
               much of it. ·
     Pause as Errol wants the ground to swallow him up.




                           BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

               Well that takes care of one little
               piggy, now find me the silly sods
               that blagged the bookies. Find em
               today.




                                                              FADE OUT:








                                                (CONTINUED)





46   CONTINUED:





     FADE TO BLACK:





     FADE IN:





47   EXT. PORTACABIN




     The film stock is 1970s, and things seem more dated. This
     is confirmed by the dress of our man TONY. Tony is standing
     outside a scrap metal yard and he is kicking the door of a
     portacabin.                                             ..

                              TONY

                  Open up Charlie.

                             CHARLIE

                  Fuck off. The only thing I'11 open
                  up is you.

                                TONY

                  I t ' s lucky you .got me Charlie, it
                  could have been one of the other
                  lads, and then think how much trouble
                  you' d be in.

                              CHARLIE

                  You come through that door and you'll
                  be going out prostrate.

                              TONY

                  It doesn't belong to you Charlie.
     He kicks open the door. CHARLIE is standing behind his desk
     holding a pistol directly at Tony. On the table is a bag of
     what we must believe is coke, it's open, and Charlie has it
     all over his nose.                     .

                              TONY (CONT'D)

                  You silly fucker, you can't go running
                  off with other people's gear. How
                  much you put up your nose?
     Charlie opens up, he fires four shots straight into Tony who
     buckles and falls to the floor. Tony seems only shaken and
     he holds his hands out to inspect them, he's bleeding.

                              TONY (CONT'D)

                  Oh you silly cunt.
     Tony stands and walks towards Charlie. Charlie is
     understandably shocked and fires another. It goes straight
     through Tony and we see the blood hit the wall behind.

                              CHARLIE

                  Go down-boy, go down.




                                                (CONTINUED)





47   CONTINUED:

     Tony keeps going for him. Charlie raises the gun and points
     it at Tony's face and fires the last shot. The bullet goes
     straight into his mouth but it went in at an angle and it
     exits his cheek. Tony is standing there with six. bullet
     holes in him and bleeding all over the carpet. As he talks
     blood courses its way down his front and a strong lisp is
     frustrating the words.

                              TONY

                  Ohh you'f in twouble nowf.



     Tony slowly extracts a short sword from behind him. Fear
     has set into Charlie's face and has rendered him useless.




     FADE IN:


48   INT. VANTAGE                              ·

     The car comes to a halt again.

                              HANDS

                  They, have only made forty this year.
                  You could find the maker of this
                  engine's signature on the engine.
                  But you can't find me Franky.

                              DOUG

                  No it's true. I can't find'him, but
                  I know a man that can.
     Cut to a shot of Hands encouraging him to continue.

                              DOUG (CONT'D)

                  Tony. Bullet Tooth Tony.     He'll
                  find Franky for you.

                              HANDS

                  Who's he?
     Susi interrupts.

                              SUSI

                  ·What is he?' Would be a more
                  appropriate question.
     Doug frowns at Susi, but continues.

                              DOUG

                  He's the best chance you have of
                  finding Franky.













                                                   (CONTINUED)





                                             '                '               '


                                                                              .


48   CONTINUED:    .


                              SUSI

                  He has upset every bad boy in town,
                  at some point, or another but nobody's
                  got the nuts to knock him off because
                  they aren't sure whether you can
                  kill the bastard.

                              HANDS

                  You really think he can find him?

                              SUSI

                  He'll find you Moses and the burning
                  bush if you pay him to.




                              HANDS

                  Ok so let's get hold of him.

                              DOUG

                  Firstly you gotta understand he's a
                  little strange.                                       .

                           HANDS

              .He could swing from trees wearing
               rubber dresses as far as I am
               concerned, all as I care about is
               whether he can find Franky.

                                                                             4


49   INT. CARAVAN CAMP SITE --DAY




     Turkish and Tommy pull up outside the pikey camp.             Micky's
     Mum is sitting in her chair surrounded by kids.

                              MUM

                  They're very nice Tommy.       Thank you.
     Tommy has produced a bunch of flowers from somewhere.              Turkish
     finds this a great surprise.

                              TURKISH

                  Where did they come from? You're a
                  snake in the grass Tommy.

                              MUM

                  You looking for Micky?

                              TURKISH

                  'Do you know where I can find him?

                              MUM

                  Yes.
     Pause                                                          ·










                                                     (CONTINUED)





49   CONTINUED:





                              TURKISH

                  Well would you like to share that
                  information with me Ms O'Neill?

                              MUM

                  I don't want you getting my boy in
                  to any trouble you hear me? He's my
                  only boy and he's a good boy.

                               M UM (CONT'D)

                  He's coursing, he's a couple of fields
                  that way.
     Pause

                              TOMMY

                  What's coursing?

50   INT. CAR                                            ·





                              TURKISH

                  Hare coursing. The gypsies can't
                  get enough of it.

                              TOMMY

                  What the fuck's a hare?

                                 TURKISH

                  I t ' s a big rabbit.

                              TOMMY

                  Why don't they call em big rabbits
                  then?

                              TURKISH

                  Because they call em hares.
     Tommy shrugs.




                              TOMMY

                  So what's coursing?

                              TURKISH

                  They set two lurchers, they are dogs
                  before you ask, on a hare, that's
                  the big rabbit. And the hare has to
                  outrun the dogs.

                              TOMMY

                  What happens if he doesn't?

                              TURKISH

                  Well the big rabbit gets fucked
                  doesn't it?




                                                (CONTINUED)





50   CONTINUED:

     Tommy looks a taken aback by this statement.

                              TOMMY

                  Come on, what, proper fucked?

                              TURKISH

                  Yeah before the Germans get there
                  Tommy. How can a dog fuck a
                  rabbit?...eh? If eats the bastard.




51   EXT. SEEDY STREET

     Errol is curb crawling down a particularly seedy street in a
     car with John. They come to a halt, at the feet of some
     touter.

                              ERROL

                  Excuse me mate, d'ya know Mullet?
     The man looks a little 'further down the street. Errol follow
     his eyes, squints and seems to focus on something.

                                ERROL (CONT'D)

                  Cheers pal.
     Errol puts on the gas a little-, the car surges forward and
     slows at the feet of Mullet - seedy looking character with
     big ears and a moody haircut, who smokes fat cheap cigars
     and wears his top shirt button fastened.

                              MULLET

                  Errol, John. Alright chaps?     How's
                  the gov'nor?

                              ERROL

                  Very well Mullet, I am sure he'll be
                  flattered you inquired.

                              MULLET

                  Yeah let him know that I asked.

                              JOHN

                  We'll be sure to. Now come on Mullet
                  what have you got for us about the
                  gov'nor's bookies?

                              MULLET

                  I did find something out as it
                  happens, I knew a driver who was
                  grafting that day.

                              ERROL

                  Don't stop with the foreplay.







                                                  (CONTINUED)





51   CONTINUED:





                              MULLET

                  White geezer, bit of a bounty.

                               EROL

                  Eh?

                               MULLET

                  Bounty, black on the outside, white
                  on the inside.

                              JOHN

                  Go on.

                              MULLET

                  He was doing a job for a couple of
                  brothers in Smith Street. I think
                  it was a pawn shop.

                               JOHN

                  Porn as in filthy dirty?
                        i

                              MULLET

                  Pawn as in I have run out of money
                  and here's my wedding ring.

                               ERROL

                  Good boy Mullet.

52   EXT. FIELD

     Turkish and Tommy have found Micky who is in the middle of a
     field and is betting on with various dodgy characters.

                               TURKISH

                  Well do you want to do it?

                              MICKY

                  That depends.

                              TURKISH

                  On what?

                              MICKY

                  On you buying this caravan.
     He pulls out a catalogue on fancy caravans and points to the
     picture of the Rolls Royce of caravans.

                              TURKISH

                  That's not the same caravan.

                              MICKY

                  This isn't the same fight.







                                                   (CONTINUED)





                                                                    60.





52   CONTINUED:    _                        -


                                TURKISH

                  I t ' s twice the fuckin size of the
                  last one.

                              MICKY

                  The fight is twice the size. And my
                  mum still needs a new caravan.




                              TURKISH

                  Micky you are lucky we aren't worm
                  food after your performance, I think
                  buying a tart's mobile palace is a
                  little fuckin rich.



     There is a pause while Micky frowns.       Turkish looks a little
     sheepish.

                              TURKISH (CONT'D)

                  I didn't mean that your mum was a
                  tart. I just meant...

                           MICKY

               Save your breath for cooling your
               porridge. I'll bet you for it.

                           TURKISH

               What like Tommy did last time? Do
               me a favour?

                             MICKY

               I ' l l do you a favour, you have first     ,
               bet. If I win I get the caravan, if
               I lose I'l l do the fight for free.
     Turkish considers this, uneasily.       He looks at the dogs they
     look keen and fit.

                              TURKISH

                  Okay, I reckon the hare gets caught.
     But he's in. Gypsy Romany Music starts. Cut to slow motion,
     CU of dogs' enthusiasm, CU of pikeys and their fingers
     skillfully dealing in money, inhaling cigarettes, etc.

53   INT. CAR --

     Slow motion.      Errol and John are looking for Tyrone.

54   EXT. FIELD

     Slow motion.      Cut back to the dogs.    The chase starts.




55   INT. CAR




     Slow, motion.       They see Tyrone, Tyrone starts to run.

56   EXT . FIE LD




     Slow motion.       The hare sees the ,dogs and starts to run.

57   EXT. STREET




     Slow motion.       They bail Tyrone into the back of a car.

58   EXT. FIELD




     Slow motion.       The dogs move out in a pincer movement.

59   INT. BOOT OF A CAR




     Poor Tyrone is bleeding in the boot of a car.

60   EXT. FIELD




     The dogs move in.

61   EXT. CAR




     They bail Tyrone out of the car and into Brick Top's pub.
     Brick Top is waiting there. Brick Top asks questions. We
     can't hear what he's asking, but we can see that Tyrone isn't
     playing the game.

62   EXT. FIELD




     The dogs are moving in.

63   INT. DOG HOUSE




     A door is opened and Tyrone is thrown in. A rabid Neapolitan
     mastiff pitbull hybrid that is attached to the end of a long
     pole with a lasso at the other end is brought in, it will
     quite clearly savage anything in its way.

64   EXT. FIELD




     The hare gets caught and a pile of fur comes up

65   INT. DOG HOUSE               ·




     The dog bites Tyrone in the leg.



     Tyrone shouts in panic, the music breaks, we come out of
     slow motion and into real time.

                                TYRONE

                    Ok, I'll fuckin tell you.




66   EXT. FIELD    .




     The hare escapes the jaws of the dogs and is off.

67   INT. CAR

     Turkish is getting into his car.                           .    ..

                              TOMMY

                  You're are as mad as mars you are,
                  why did you take that bet? What
                  happens now?

                              TURKISH

                  We buy him a caravan Tommy.




                              TOMMY

                  There is something very wrong with
                  this, it was us that wanted to buy a
                  caravan off him.

                              TURKISH

                  Why didn't you "bus a cap in his
                  ass" then Tommy? Mind you, you would
                  do more damage if you threw it at
                  him.

                              TOMMY

                  You saying I can't shoot?

                              TURKISH

                  Oh no Tommy I wasn't saying you can't
                  shoot, I know you can't shoot. What
                  I was saying is that six pound piece
                  of shit stuck in your trousers there
                  would do more damage if you fed it
                  to em.

                              TOMMY

                  Are you saying it doesn't work?

                              TURKISH

                  You tried it?
     Tommy frowns

                              TURKISH-(CONT'D)

      .=..        . That Russian saves the shooters that        "'
                  work for the faces, and I don't want
                  to be the one that breaks it to you
                  Tommy but you ain't a face. Go on
                  try it.
     Tommy sticks the gun out the window and pulls the trigger.
     Nothing happens.







                                                 (CONTINU ED)





67   CONTINUED: .





                                TURKISH (CONT'D)

                 Whoops.




                                TOMMY

                 I want to see that sneaky fuckin
                 Russian.

68   INT. BACK ROOM PAWN BROKERS




     Vin and Sol are trying to wrap Franky's body up.      Bad Boy
     Lincoln has been called in to help.

                             BAD BOY LINCOLN

                 What happened to him?

                              SOL

                 He got shot in the face Lincoln, I
                 would have thought that was obvious.

                                BA D BOY LINCOLN

                 Well what do you want me to do about
                 it?

                                SOL

                 Sort it out.

                                BAD BOY LINCOLN

                 The only way to sort it out is to
                 bring him back to life and I am not
                 a fuckin witch doctor am I?

                              SOL

                 Villains are supposed to know how to
                 get rid of bodies.

                                BAD BOY LINCOLN

                 Err, yes, but I have never actually
                 got rid of one. Who is he?

                             SOL

                 He's a man with a hole in his face
                 Lincoln. Who cares who he is?

                             BAD BOY LINCOLN

                 Err well, let's wrap him up.

                              SOL

                 What do you want to do that for?
                , He's not a fuckin Christmas present.

69   INT. CAR

     Brick Top is on the phone and Errol and John sit opposite.




                                                   (CONTINUED)





69   CONTINUED:. .





                          BRICK TOP

              Like I said I wasn't giving you a
              choice. I am telling you that fuckin
              gypsy has got to fight.

70   INT. AMUSEMENT ARCADE

     Turkish is on the other end of the phone to Brick Top.         Tommy
     is trying to listen in to what is being said.

                          TURKISH

              I am sorry, but he's a stubborn
              bastard, he says he's had enough, he
              says he's got to look after his old
              mum.

                             BRICK TOP

              His what?                  ·.-·                     . ..

                             TURKISH                          '

              His mum.

                          BRICK TOP

              Are' you taking the piss again?

                          TURKISH

              That's what he said, she's a nice
              old girl his mum.

                          BRICK TOP

              You're on thin ice Turkish, and I am
              going to be there when it breaks.
     He puts the phone down and inhales.

                          BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

              Anything for an easy life. That
              fuckin pikey being difficult. Hello,
              we here?

71   EXT. PAWN BROKERS

     We see Errol outside with a glass cutter. He puts it around
     the door and creates a circle with the sharp side, pulls it
     out and puts his hand through to kill the alarm. He's in.

                         - ERROL

               You coming John?

                           JOHN

               Is a trout's head water proof Errol?
               I wouldn't miss it for the world.










                                                (CONTINUED)





71   CONTINUED:





                              ERROL

                  Get the governor John.
     John goes back to the car which is parked down the street.
     The window slides down.




                              JOHN

                  It looks like we are in gov.

                              BRICK TOP

                  Oh goodie gum drops. Get us a cup
                  of tea would you Errol?

72   INT. BACK ROOM PORN BROKERS

     Vin, Lincoln and Sol are arguing

                              SOL

                  Hold him by his legs.

                              BA D BOY LINCOLN

                  What do you think I am holding him
                  by, his fucking ears?
     The interconnecting door opens slowly.

                               BRICK TOP

                  Hope it ' s not a bad moment.
     Sol looks at Vin, Vin looks at Lincoln: they are
     understandably surprised. Brick Top looks around the room
     the silence continues. Brick Top helps himself to the most
     comfortable seat.

                              BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

                  Do you know who I am?

                                 BAD BOY LINCOLN

                  Yeah I know.

                               BRICK TOP

                  Good.   That will save me some time
                  then.

                              VINNY

                  Well I don't.

                              BRICK TOP

                  What you gonna do with your man there?
                  You're always gonna have problems
                  lifting a body in one piece.
                  Apparently the best thing to do is
                  cut the corpse up into six pieces
                  and pile it all together.




                                                   (CONTINUED)





72   CONTINUED:


                          SOL

              Would someone mind telling me who
              you are?

                          BRICK TOP

              After you got six pieces you gotta
              get rid of 'em, of course you can't
              just leave it in the deep freeze for
              your mum to discover, can ya?
     Pause while the black guys are still holding the body. The
     door opens and in walks Errol. He passes Brick Top a cup of
     tea in a take away container.

                          VINNY

              Lincoln, who is this man?

                          BRICK TOP

              And then I hear the best thing to do
              is feed 'em to pigs. You gotta starve
              the pigs for a few days, then the
              sight of a chopped up body looks
              like curry to a drunk. You gotta
              shave the heads of your victims and
              pull the teeth out, you could do
              that after of course, but you don't
              want to go sieving pig shit do you?
              Ever seen the size of one of their
              molars?                                        ·



     He holds up his fist

                           BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

              They go through bone like i t ' s butter.
              You gotta have a few pigs though you
              need about sixteen they will go
              through a body that weighs two hundred
              pounds in about eight minutes that
              means that a single pig can consume
              two pounds of uncooked flesh every
              minute,. . .
     Pause

                          BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

              Hence the expression greedy as a
              pig.
     Pause

                            VINNY

               Well thank you, that's a large weight
               off my mind.

                            (MORE)





                                              (CONTINUED)





72   CONTINUED: (2)





                           VINNY (CONT'D)

               But would you mind very much telling
               me who the' fuck you are? Other than
               a man that feeds people to pigs of
               course.
     The door opens and we see John, who is wearing a pair of
     extremely large plastic gloves, showing Brick Top the shotgu
     that he has found.

                           JOHN

               Would you look at the size of this?




                           BRICK TOP

               Golly that is big isn't it Errol?
     He looks back at the brothers

                           BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

               Do you know what Nemesis means?



     There is a pause

                            BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

               A righteous infliction of retribution
               ·by. an appropriate agent, personified
               in this case by a horrible cunt.
               Me.
     Brick Top stands and opens the door. We can see that a coupl
     of ropes have been slung over the rafters and a couple of
     buckets are underneath them. SIX VERY LARGE MEN (including
     Errol and John) are standing around wanting to get busy. -
     Tyrone is with them, all trussed up.

73   INT. DOUG'S OFFICE

     ·BULLET TOOTH' TONY is in front of Hands, Rosebud and Doug.

                           HANDS

               Can I call you Tony?

                           BTT

               You can call me Susan if it makes
               you happy.

                           ROSE BUD

               You got nice teeth Susan.
     Tony demonstrates an interest in Rose Bud's.

                           BTT

               You don't, you should comb em some
               time.




                                                 (CONTINUED)





73   CONTINUED:

     Hands interrupts

                              HANDS -

                  Tony, I want to know if you can find
                  me a man.

                              BTT

                  Well then it depends on all the
                  elements in the equation, how many
,                 are there?

                               HANDS

                  About forty thousand.

                              BTT

                  Where was he last seen?

                              DOUG

                  At a bookies.

                              BTT

                  A bookies eh? Susi, pass us the
                  blower.
     Susi reaches for the phone.

74   INT. PAWN BROKERS




     The black guys are hanging upside down.        Errol and John are
     now wearing industrial pinnies.

                              ERROL

                  Is this how you want him gov?

                              BRICK TOP

                  No spin him round, I want him sunny
                  side up.

                              SOL

                  Mr Mclean I kid you not. Why do you
                  think we have a dead man, missing an
                  arm in our office? Give us four
                  days and we'11 bring you a stone the
                  size of a home.
     Brick Top considers this, and has a look at Errol who is
     more than enthusiastic to get on with the job at hand.

                              BRICK TOP

                  What do you think Errol?

                              ERROL.

                  I think we should drip dry em
                  governor, while we have the chance.




                                                  (CONTINUED)





74   CONTINUED:

     Brick Top again frowns at Errol.

                               BRICK TOP

                  It was a rhetorical question Errol,
                  what have I told you about thinking?
     He turns back to the brothers.

                              BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

                  You got forty eight hours.
     He looks at Lincoln.

                              BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

                  I am going to take your man here.
     Pointing to Tyrone.

                              BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

                  You can keep this silly wanker.

                              .LINCOLN

                  Hold on..

                               ERROL

                  Shut it or I'll cut ya. . .

                              BRICK TOP

                  In forty eight hours I'11 set the
                  dogs on him and then the pigs on the
                  remains.
     Brick Top nods at Errol who looks extremely disappointed.

75   INT. CAR




     BTT and Hands are driving along.      Rose Bud is in the back.

                              BTT

                  A bookies got blagged last night.

                               HANDS

                  Blagged?

                              BTT

                  Robbed. I gotta see a man who looks
                  like he might know something, but it
                  can't be done on the phone if you
                  know what I mean.
     He turns to Rose Bud.

                              ROSE BUD

                  I need a cun.




                                                    (CONTI NUED)





75   CONTINUED:


                               BTT

                  No you don't, Rose Bud my old son,
                  you need me.

76   INT. PAWN BROKERS




     Tyrone looks desperate.                  .

                               TYRONE

                  He set the dogs on me.   Look.
     He shows his wounds to Sol and Vin.

                               VINNY

                  No wonder that sneaky fuckin Russian
                  didn't want to do it.

                               SOL

                  First things first, one of us, Tyrone,
                  you get round to-the Russian's. The
                  second you see him call us.

                               TYRONE

                  You better be round with something
                  substantial, don't turn up with a
                  frown and a wagging finger.

                               SOL

                  I am on it Tyrone^.

77   EXT. SEEDY STREET

     BTT is in the car with Hands and Rose Bud. The car is parked
     at the feet of Mullet, who is in discussion with another
     horrible character. Mullet is extremely nervous about seeing

     BTT.


                            BTT

               Alright Mullet?

                               MULLET

                  Tony, alright mate? I thought.,
                  well I thought you weren't about
                  anymore.

                                             .:·.····


                          : : BTT

                  Well what do you know? It's still
                  warm the blood that courses through
                  my veins. Unlike yours Mullet.
     Bt.t has a quick look down the street.










                                                   (CONTINUED)





    77   CONTINUED:





                                  BTT (CONT'D)

                      This job does have prospects after
                      all, you travel to pretty places,
                      meet interesting people.
         Btt looks at who Mullet is talking to, the man has a try
         hard mustache and interjects.

                                  MAN

                      Who the fuck gave you such a big
                      mouth?

                                  BTT

                      Someone whom you might shortly meet.

                                  MAN

                      You threatening me?

                                  BTT

                      Only with wings and a halo.
         Mullet gives the man a furtive kick and makes eyes to shut
         up.                     ,

                                  BTT (CONT'D)

                      Clean the breakfast7off your top
                      lip/ and make yourself busy sunshine.
         The man moves off

                                  BTT (CONT'D)

                      I want to know who blagged Brick
                      Top's bookies.

                                  MULLET

                      Oh do me a favour Tone?

                                  BTT

                      I will do you a favour Mullet, I'll
                      not bash the living fuck out of you
                      in front of all your girlfriends
                      here.

     ·                            MULLET

                      I don't know anything about that

                                                               ·


                                                               ·

                      Tony..    .

                                  BTT

                      If you play hard to get 'Mullet you'll
                      wish you'd never been caught.
         Mullet looks uncomfor'table about the fact that he's thinking.
j                   '                   ·        ·      ·




                                                     (CONTINUED)





77   CONTINUED: (.2)





                            MULLET

                Make it worth my while at least.
                Jesus Tone you know how it is.
     Btt turns to Hands.

                            BTT

                Give us your wallet Hands.
     Hands makes eyes and digs into his back pocket and produces
     his wallet. BTT takes out some notes and proffers them to
     Mullet, Mullet nervously reaches forward. As quick as you
     like Btt has Mullet by the collar and pulls Mullet into the
     car. He then raises the electric window on Mullet's throat
     until it has fastened Mullet to the roof of the vehicle.




                             BTT (CONT'D)

                Comfortable Mullet? ,



     Mullet has already gone pink.

                            BTT (CONT'D)

                You can take as long as you like
                Mullet.
     Btt starts to pull away so Mullet has to keep walking with
     him.

                            MULLET

                Fuckin hell what are you doing?

                            BTT

                I am driving down the street with
                your head stuck in my window. What
                do you think I am doing you penis?
     He does the window up a bit tighter. And grabs him by the
     nose. He pulls a face when he smells his breath.

                            BTT (CONT'D)

                You been using dog shit tooth paste
                Mullet?
     He speeds up even more.

                  ..      MULLET . . - . - ·

                Slow down.




                            BTT                 .

                Err no I don't think I'l l slow down
                Mullet, I think I ' l l speed up. I
                could play you some music if you
                like.







                                               .(CONTINUED)





77   CONTINUED:   (3)




     BTT turns on the radio.        A song comes on that he loves.

                              BTT (CONT'D)

                  Oh I love this track. Yes Mullet.

                              MULLET

                  It could be Tyrone Conway.

                              BTT

                  Tyrone Conway?




                                MULLET

                  White geezer, thinks he's black, did
                  a job for a pair of brothers who
                  have a pawn shop in Smith Street.

                              BTT

                  Tyrone Conway?

                              MULLET

                  Yes that's what I said.   I t ' s fuckin
                  Tyrone Conway.

                              BTT

                  It may be fuckin him, but wait and
                  see what I can do to you.
     He puts his foot down and Mullet loses his footing, and is
     dragged along.                                      '.

                                HANDS

                  What about?
     He points to Mullet. BTT pulls an, 'oh yes I forgot about
     him1 face. He doesn't even look at Mullet. He lowers the
     window, and Mullet falls by the way, in god knows what
     condition.

78   INT. PAWN BROKERS

     The music continues, and we have a montage of the black guys
     dealing with Bullet Tooth Tony and Hands as they arrive at
     the pawn shop. We see the corpse, we see Hands get irate
     and it looks like it's going to be the end of the black fellas
     again. The black guys try to whip out the big gun but Tony
     disarms them and takes the gun off them. The music ends
     along with the scene when Sol breaks.

                              SOL

                  It's the Russian, well to be technical
                  an Uzbekistan.













                                                  (CONTINUED)





78   CONTINUED:


                              HANDS

                  Russian? The sneaky dogs. I been
                  doing business with those sneaky
                  dogs.

                               SOL

                  Boris.



     BTT looks familiar with this name.

                              BTT

                  Dear oh dear, you do know some
                  horrible people.




79   INT. DOUG'S OFFICE


                           HANDS

               Russians, I didn't think it would be
               the Russians.

                           DOUG

               Boris the Blade? I heard of him,
               isn't he supposed to be a short little
               fucker that's covered in scars?

                           BTT

               Sneaky little shit one of the Russian
               dissidents, killed more men
               than,...well he's-killed a lot of
               men. Deals in arms, that he gets
               off some of the old school.
     We cut to the security monitor that observes the shop, it
     sits on Doug's desk. The door opens and in walks Boris. As
     bold as brass he walks up to the counter.

                               DOUG

                  Hold on.   What's going on here?
     Doug picks up the phone to the downstairs shop.      Susi picks
     up the receiver at the other end.

                               SUSI

                  Yes Dad?

                   . ---   - DOUG

                  What does that man want?

                                SUSI

                  I t ' s hard to say, he's got a thick
                  Russian accent.




80   INT. DOUG'S .OFFICE DOWNSTAIRS




     They are obviously going to move in on the Russian.

                           BTT

               He's a bit sneaky this fella, so
               watch out.

                            ROSE BUD

               I hate Russians. I'll sort him out.
     Hands and BTT both look at Rose Bud and look relieved for
     the offer.

                            BTT

               He's all yours Rose Bud.

81   EXT. CARAVAN CAMP SITE

     Micky is looking at his caravan; it's in flames, real proper
     roaring flames. People are desperately trying to put the
     flames out. Micky is covered in dirt from his futile efforts.
     One of the other pikies who's involved in trying to extinguish
     the fire turns round and sees Micky standing there motionless.
     He can see he's upset.

                           PATRICK

               What's wrong with Micky?

                           DAREN

               His mam was in there Patrick.   They
               burnt his mam.
     All real sound recedes and we drift in to music. The camera
     slowly tracks in on Micky. It's hard to read how devastated
     he is. The camera reaches Micky's face, the reflections of
     the flames can be seen in his water swollen eyes, but his
     cheeks remain dry.         .

82   INT. BTT CAR

     BTT is driving, Hands in the passenger seat and Rose Bud in
     the back. BTT's got a bleeding eye and his hand is wrapped
     up in a bandage. Rose Bud is clutching his stomach.

                           HANDS

               Sneaky was a bit of a fuckin
               understatement wasn't it?

                           BTT

               What do you want me to do? Your man
               there thought he could take him. I
               told you he was dangerous.

                           HANDS

               How you doing Rosey?




                                               (CONTINUED)





82   CONTINUED:    .

     Hands looks at Rose Bud who's holding his midsection.

                              ROSE BUD

                  You're going to have to get me to a
                  hospital, let's shoot that fucker.
                  Then get me to a hospital.




                              HANDS

                  We gotta get this stone first Rosy
                  and then we'll get you to a hospital.

83   INT. BAD BOY LINCOLN'S




     Vin and Sol are going through a selection of keys they have,
     trying to open the front door.

                              SOL

                  Lincoln's got some tools here, when
                  he has had a few drinks he gets em
                  out and runs around the house holding
                  a pistol in each hand, telling me
                  about what a bad boy he is.

                              VINNY

                  Do you know where he keeps em?
     They find the right key.

                              SOL

                  Well they ain't gonna be lying on
                  the kitchen table Vince, we gotta
                  have to look. Flick tlie switch.
     I t ' s dark, they flick the switch. They look onto an
     immaculate pad. Music fades up along with the lights.

                               VINNY

                  Jesus.   What's going on here?

                              SOL

                  He likes his drum does Bad Boy
                  Lincoln.
     The dog goes bounding in.

                              SOL (CONT'D)

                  Well let's get busy.

     EXT. BORIS1 HOUSE


84




     BTT's car pulls up outside Boris1 house. BTT and Rosebud
     pull Boris up in the boot. Tyrone who is hanging about nearb
     keeping watch, witnesses this. Rosebud places a blade at
     the Russian's neck.




                                                   (CONTINUED)





                                                                 77.





84   CONTINUED:





                              ROSE BUD

                  I think you have got something to
                  tell us.

                              HANDS

                  Take it easy Rosy, take it easy.



     BTT looks at the blood that's already starting to pierce the
     skin from where the blade is pressed against the Russian's
     neck. BTT then looks at Hands with concern.

                              BTT

                  You want him to be able to talk or
                  not?

85   INT. BAD BOY LINCOLN'S

     Sol and Vin have found the weapons and are tossing them from
     hand to hand.

                              SOL

                  I didn't know did I? They always
                  looked the shit to me.

                           VINNY

               What are we gonna do with em Sol?

                           SOL

               Shut your mouth Vince, this is all
               we got, so this will have to do.
     Sol's mobile rings.

                              SOL (CONT'D)

               Yes?




86   EXT. BORIS' HOUSE


                              TYRONE

                  Boris is here.

87   INT. BAD BOY LINCOLN'S


                              SOL

                  Now.

                              TYRONE

                  That's why I am calling you.

                              SOL

                  We're coming over.   Hold him there.
     Sol puts the phone down before he has to hear what Tyrone
     has to say.




                                                 (CONTINUED)





87   CONTINUED:                 .                                     S7


                              SOL (CONT'D)

                  Leave that dog here Vince, we gotta                      *
                  go.
     They shut the dog in the main room and go out of Lincoln's
     house.

88   EXT. BORIS1 HOUSE                                                88


                                TYRONE

                        (continuing after                                  *
                        Sol's put the phone                                *
                       down)                                               *
                  He's not on his own.




89   INT. TYRONE'S CAR                                                89




     We cut to Vinny and Sol tearing round to Boris's.. They're
     driving Tyrone's car. As they arrive, Tyrone jumps out in
     the middle of the road. They screech to a halt, narrowly
     avoiding squashing Tyrone.

                            SOL

              Where is he?

            ·             .


                            TYRONE

              I t ' s not just a he, there are three              .    *
              of them in the house with him.

                              SOL

                  Why didn't you tell us Tyrone?
     Tyrone pulls a "I tried" face.

                              VINNY

                  Do they look hard?

                              TYRONE

                  They look fucked up.

                              SOL         .      "                     *

                  Well get in and let's load up.
     Vin whips out a gun.

                              VINNY                                    *

                  Load them up with what?                              *

                              TYRONE                                   *

                  What's wrong with them?

                          VINNY

     .        They're replicas.







                                                   (CONTINUED)





89   CONTINUED:





                              TYRONE

                  Hold tight rudy, are you fuckin mad?
                  Do you know who these people are?

                              SOL

                  No I don't Tyrone, but I do know I
                  don't want to be eaten by pulled
                  apart by dogs and then eaten by fuckin
                  pigs.




90   EXT. PIKEY ENCAMPMENT




     Tommy and Turkish are looking on to the burned out caravan. .
     They are in shock. There is a whole gathering of dodgy,
     angry looking pikies standing around, giving Turkish and
     Tommy some bad looks.

                              TURKISH

                  Jesus I am sorry Micky. I am really
                  sorry. He's a mad bastard.
     Darren decides to interject.

                              DAREN

                  Who are these the boys Micky?
     Darren's eyes are full of poison.         Tommy and Turkish suddenly
     feel very uncomfortable.

                              MICKY

                  Back off Darren. What kind of cunt
                  would turn up here if they knew what
                  had happened? Leave my business to
                  me boy.
     Darren spins on his heel

                              MICKY (CONT'D)

                  I got a message that he wanted me to
                  fuck you two off, that's why I wanted
                  you back. I' l l do the fight before
                  he causes any more carnage, but I ' l l
                  only do it if you're there.

                              TURKISH

                  Why?

                              MICKY

                  Because I know he fuckin hates ya. .      ·

91   INT. TURKISH'S CAR -- CONTINUOUS




     Turkish and Tommy are driving. Turkish is drinking a pint
     of"milk (as usual). There is silence for a while.




                                                   (CONTINUED)





91     CONTINUED:





                                TOMMY

                    It's not warm the blood in his veins
                    is it?

                                TURKISH

                  I gotta say .1 don't like this Tommy.
                 This has got very fuckin messy.
                 Jesus you know how he felt about his
                 old girl. I think we should get you
                 a new gun Tommy, but this time try
     . . . '.    it.

                                TOMMY

                    How far is the Russian's?

                                 TURKISH

                    We'll be there in a minute.
       He takes a sip of his milk.       There's a pause.

                                TURKISH (CONT'D)

                    It's not the same.

                                TOMMY

                    What?

                                TURKISH

                    Milk, in these cartons.
                                           i

                                TOMMY

                    You shouldn't drink that stuff any
                    way.

                                 \


                                TURKISH

                    Why, what's wrong with it?

                                TOMMY

                    It's not in synch with evolution.

                                TURKISH

                    Shut up!

                                T OMMY

                    Cows have only been domesticated in
                    the last eight thousand years, before
                    that they were running around mad as
                    lorries. The human digestive system '"'
                    hasn't got used to any dairy products
                    yet, it takes a lot longer than that.

                                TURKISH

                    Well fuck me Tommy, what have you
                    been reading?

                                (MORE)





                                                     (CONTINUED)





       CONTINUED: (2)


91





                               TURKISH (CONT'D)

                  Cows mad as lorries eh? You hear
                  about the two cows having a chat in
                  a field? One says to the other,
                  "what do you think about this mad
                  cows' disease then? The other one
                  looks back and says "doesn't bother
                  me, I'm a duck.
       Turkish looks back at him blankly.

                               TOMMY

                  Here let me do you a favour.
       He reaches over and grabs the carton from Turkish, and throws
       it out the window. The milk obviously hits an on-coming car
     . in the other direction. There is a terrible crashing noise.
       Tommy and Turkish come to a standstill, and look back to see
       a small pile up on the other side of the road.

                             TOMMY (CONT'D)

                 What was in that milk?

92     INT. BORIS' HOUSE




       BTT, Hands and Rose Bud are standing over a safe. They are
       looking at a whole pile of money. The case is open and Hands
       is holding the stone.

                             HANDS

                 He's a sneaky fucker that Russian.
                 Well shall we go?

                             BTT    ·

                 What you want to do about the Russian?

                               HANDS

                  I want to bury him.

       EXT. BORIS1 HOUSE


93




       Hands, Tony and Rosebud walk out.

94     INT. TYRONE'S CAR




       The black guys witness this. Tyrone's now in the front seat
       driving.                   .

                             VINNY

                 Well come on let's have em.
       Pause while they consider this.







                                                  (CONTINUED)





94    CONTINUED:    -





                               VINNY (CONT'D)

                   Well come on.




                               SOL

                   Not so fast Vin we can't get em now
                   we gonna have to follow them.
      B TT's car moves off.    The black guys follow.




                                  TYRONE

                   I ' l l move in. It'll be ok.




                                SOL

                   OK is very close to KO, and KO is
                   close to R.I fucking.P. You know
                   what RIP stands for Tyrone?

                                TYRONE

                   It stands for.

                                SOL

                   It stands for .shut your fuckin mouth
                   Tyrone and leave the talking to us.
                   Let's get these ready.

                               TYRONE

                   Do they fire?
      Pointing to the guns.

                              ' SOL

                   Of course they fuckin fire?

                                VINNY

                   How do you know? They're replicas,
                   what do you know about replicas?
      Sol looks at the gun and frowns, "what does he know about
      replicas"? He pulls the trigger. He fires one shot. It is
      very loud, the gun goes off near Tyrone's ear, he buckles in
     . pain. The car does a massive swerve and everything nearly
      ends in disaster, all the windows shatter including the
      windshield (but the glass stays put). Tyrone regains some
      control over the car.

                                VINNY {CONT'D)

                   What the fuck do you think you're
                   doing Sol?

                                SOL

                   Jesus, I didn't know it was that
                   loud.







                                                   (CONTINUED)





94   CONTINUED: -<2)





                             VINNY

                Well just how fuckin loud did you
                think it was going to be? It's a-
                fucking gun Sol, guns are renowned
                for making a loud fucking noise
                whenever you pull the trigger.

                            SOL

                You wanted to see if they worked.

                             VINNY

                I didn't mean try it in the fuckin
                car Sol.

                             SOL

                Well they work, I reckon they are
                really going to put the shits into
                em.

                           VINNY

               Right now I am not concerned with
               putting the shits into em Sol, I am
         " " . concerned about taking the pain out
               of my ringing fucking ears. Look
               what you did to poor Tyrone. Tyrone
               you alright?
     He taps Tyrone on the shoulder.     Tyrone looks up.

                            VINNY (CONT'D)

                Are you alright?
     Tyrone spins in his seat and answers a little too loudly.

                            TYRONE

                I am fuckin deaf! What have you
                done to my car?
     They crash into the car in front.     Boris the Blade comes
     flying through the windshield.

95   INT. BTT CAR -- NIGHT

     (This scene runs concurrently with scene 91)

                            HNS


                             AD-   .......

                How we going to get rid of him?

                            BTT

                You want to shoot him?

                              HANDS

                I t ' s a bit noisy isn't it?







                                                (CONTINUED)





95   CONTINUED:    -





                              BTT

                  Well you want to stab him?

                             -HANDS

                  That's a bit cold blooded isn't it?

                              BTT

                  You want to kill him or not?

                                ROSE BUD

                  I' 1 1 cut him.

                              BTT

                  That's the spirit.   There's a sword
                  back there.
     He points to behind a seat: there is a bloody great sword
     concealed. Tony skillfully passes the sword to Rose Budd,
     who attempts to pull it out of its scabbard. Tony turns
     round to Hands.

                              BTT (CONT'D)

                  You, you want a knife?
     He passes Hands a knife.

                              HANDS

                  I wouldn't know what to do with it.

                              BTT

                  It's not a fuckin rocket launcher.
                  It's a knife for gods sake, what
                  have you used for to keep your fork
                  company for all these years? It's
                  got a sharp side and a blunt side.
                  You want a lesson?
     There is a sudden bang on the windshield and BTT turns back
     to the front only to see the windshield covered in milk.
     Tony can't see where he is going and searches for the
     windshield wipers. While this is happening the car swerves
     to the side and hits a lamp post. They crash and the boot
      (trunk) has flown open and Boris the Blade tries to lift
     himself out. Rose Bud looks down at the sword he has been
     extracting he can see he very nearly cut himself in two.
     Tony pulls himself up from the steering wheel he has a trickle
     of blood running down his face. There's a crash and a car
     hits em from behind.

96   INT. TYRONE'S CAR --NIGHT




     They too are recovering from the accident. And Boris has
     now come headfirst through the windshield.







                                                  (CONTINUED)





96   CONTINUED:   -





                              VINNY

                  You idiot what have you done?

                              SOL

                  Is that Boris?




97   INT. BTT'S CAR


                              HANDS

                  What happened?

                              BTT

                  We hit something and something hit
                  us.
     He turns and sees that Rose Bud has got a sword sticking
     though him. It's gone through him and the seat that he is
     sitting on.

98   INT. BLACK GUY'S CAR





                              SOL

                  Let's hit em now.

                              VINNY

                  The is a dead Russian on my lap Sol
                  I am not thinking about hitting
                  anybody right now.

                              SOL

                  Well you better start thinking Vince
                  because otherwise you'll be fuckin
                  lucky if you end up looking like
                  that.

99   INT. BTT'S CAR    .





                              BTT

                  You alright?

                              HANDS

                  No I am about a rocket ride from
                  right Tony.

                              BTT

                  I mean do you feel alright?

                              HANDS

                  Ohh yeah, I feel like I am lying on
                  the naked lap of Aphrodite, cooled
                  by the tumbling petals of spring
                  roses, how the fuck do you think I
                  feel?







                                                  (CONTINUED)





99     CONTINUED:     -





                                BTT

                    Hold tight big man, and put your
                    guns away. Let's get going.

                                HANDS

                    What about Rose Bud?

                                BTT

                    Well you can bring him with you if
                    you want but which bit do you want
                    to bring?




100    INT. BLACK GUY'S CAR


                                SOL

                    They are getting out.

                                VINNY

                    Well get down, the last thing we
                    want him to see is three brothers
                    wearing ski masks.

1.01   INT. CAFE

       BTT and Hands, covered in blood, walk off the street into a
       cafe.

                                HANDS

                    I gotta clean up.
       He goes out the back while BTT goes to the pay phone to call
       Doug.

102    EXT. STREET

       The black guys pile out of the car and follow BTT and Hands
       at a safe distance.

103    INT. CAFE

       BTT is on the phone

                                BTT

                    Doug, we are in the shit, come and
                    pick us up.

104    EXT. BORIS1 HOUSE

       Tommy and Turkish pull up outside Boris' house.

                                TURKISH

                    He's left the door open.










                                                  (CONTINUED)





104   CONTINUED:    -


                               TOMMY

                   I shouldn't think that's a good idea.
                   Shall we have a look?

                               TURKISH

                   I don't want to go in there, he's a
                   dangerous bastard, taken too many
                   disco biscuits in the heat of Russian
                   disputations, he's got as many of
                   these nuts as those nuts.



      He grabs his groin and circles his finger and his temple

                                 TOMMY

                   I don't care if he's got fuckin hazel
                   nuts, I want a gun that works.

                                 TURKISH

                   Well come on then before the Germans
                   get here.

105   EXT. CAFE              .                   .

      The black guys have followed BTT and Hands and are waiting
      outside, readying themselves for action.        .

                            SOL                                    '   .

              . Now Tyrone you go... Tyrone, oi
                Tyrone.
      Tyrone can't hear a thing.

                               VINNY

                   I'11 never forgive you Sol.
      Sol taps Tyrone on the shoulder.

                               SOL

                   When we get in you wait by the door
                   I am number one, Vin number two and
                   you are number three.

106   INT. CAFE

      The black guys enter. BTT has just finished his phone call
      and sat down.   .     -.

                               SOL

                   I don't want a fuss and I don't want
                   to put a bullet in your face, but
                   unless you give me exactly what I
                   want there will be murders.
      BTT shakes his head in amazement.




                                                     (CONTINUED)





106   CONTINUED:    -


                               SOL (CONT'D)

                   Number three pull the blind down.



      Tyrone can't hear this request.

                               VINNY

                   lo number three, he said pull the
                   blind down.
      He still can't hear him.       This is minorly embarrassing.

                               VINNY (CONT'D)

                   I'll sort it.   .




                               SOL

                   Stand up!

                               BTT

                   Excuse me, but who the fuck are you?

                               SOL

                   You hear what .1 said? Stand up,
                   unless you're crippled.

                               BTT

                   Do I look crippled?                               ,

                               SOL

                   You'll look fucking dead, unless you
                   stand up.
      Sol cocks the gun and Tony pulls a sarcastic 'I am shocked'
      face.

                               BTT

                   You got ballsl

                               SOL

                   You want to test em?

                               BTT

                   There are two types of balls, there
                   are big brave balls and there are
                   little mincy faggot balls.

                                           '-- - * ' . - ·

                          ·p- WNNY     .
                   You're a dead man talking. These
                   are your last words so make them a
                   prayer.
      Vinny takes aim.













                                                  (CONTINUED)





106   CONTINUED: (2)





                            BTT .

                So you're obviously the big dick,
                and they on either side of you, must
                be your balls.
      Vin goes to hit him with the gun but it's caught by Tony,
      Vin tries to pull the nose out of Tony's hand but he can't
      move it. Sol steps forward and raises his gun.

                            SOL

                Let go of the gun.



      Vinny cocks his gun.   There is a pause and eventually Tony
      lets go of it.

                            BTT

                I am talking for your benefit. Now
                dicks have drive, and clarity of
                vision.
      Tony starts to build himself a complicated looking weapon
      under the table, unseen by the black guys. He takes bits
      out of one sock and bits out of another sock.

                             BTT (CONT'D)

                But they're not clever, they smell
                pussy, and they want a piece of the
                action, and the dimmer the dick, the
                less he cares about the consequences,
                and you thought you smelt gooood ol
                pussy, and have brought your little
                mincy faggot balls along for a gooood
                ol time, but you have got your parties
                muddled up, there is no pussy here,
                just a dose to make you wish you
                were born a woman.. . .
      We cut to the shell shocked brothers, and the almost
      completely built weapon.

                             BTT (CONT'D)

                And just like a prick, you are having
                second thoughts; you're shrinking,
                and your little balls are shrinking
                with you.
      They stare on. The brothers have lost this one and they
      know it. They start to reverse. BTT lets the odd chicken
      cluck out the corner of his mouth, Vinny misses his step and
      waves his gun about in a futile effort to look mean. They
      back away into the corridor down to the back door of the
      cf. . .
       ae                                                     ·




 107   INT. CORRIDOR -- CONTINUOUS

       ...and just as they turn the corner they bump into Hands
       still drying his hands, they can see that he's carrying a
       case that they recognize. The brothers adapt to their new
       scenario:

                               VINNY

                 Pass it me.
       Hands hesitates.

 108   INT. CAFE.-- CONTINUOUS




       BTT can hear that the black guys and Hands have run into
       each other and pulls out the complicated looking gun which
       is now in one piece. BTT cocks the gun and aims it at the
       wall which the brothers would be behind, he follows the wall
       simulating the speed of their journey.

 109   INT. .CORRIDOR -- CONTINUOUS





.-.'-..                      VINNY

                 I won't ask again
       He raises his gun. A covey of bullets perforates the wall,
       one hitting Vin in the hand. The brothers take the
       opportunity to duck. Hands dives for cover too and drops
       the bag. A continuation of bullets comes flying through the
       wall. The black guys take the opportunity to pick the bag
       up and leg it.

 110   INT. CARAVAN





       I AM AFRAID THAT THIS SCENE HAS TO WAIT UNTIL I HAVE BEEN TO


       A IRISH TRAVELERS WAKE. I'LL BE ABOUT FOUR MINUTES LONG.


       IF YOU HAVE ANY IRISH RELATIVES THAT HAVE DIED RECENTLY DON'T


       HESITATE TO CALL.





 111   INT. BRICK TOP'S PUB




       The brothers are standing in front of Brick Top, they move
       uneasily from foot to foot. Brick Top examines the stone.
       He looks up.




                             BRICK TOP

                 Quite a lump. Alright you can go         '
                 now .        '

                             SOL

                 Any chance of taking Lincoln with
                 us?

                             BRICK TOP

                 That's where Errol's taking ya.







                                                (CONTINUED)




Ill   CONTINUED:
      They turn and Errol is waiting for them.

                             ERROL

                Follow me.
      They go out of one room into another, and Errol shuts the
      door behind them. Vin looks uncomfortable. Another door is
      opened and a man brings out Lincoln. Lincoln is in bad shape
      and is relieved to see familiar faces, they are now shut in
      a room .

                             SOL

                You alright Lincoln?

                            ERROL

                Do you know why the governor is the
                governor?

                             VINNY

                Err. .

                             ERROL

                I t 's because people are scared of
                him. You know why they are scared
                of him?

                             SOL

                Err .

                            ERROL

                It's because of stories. I am sure
                you've heard one or two of those
                stories. For example, did you hear
                about the three black fellas that
                did a very bad thing, however they
                made some effort to redeem that very
                bad thing, so the governor saw fit
                not to kill em. He thought it would
                be a more advantageous concept to
                let them kill each other and let the
                survivor live to tell the tale.
                That way everybody wins, well, all
                except the two that died of course.
      We look at the table where we see three large kitchen knives
      sitting provocatively. Tyrone rushes for one of the blades
      grabs it and runs at Vin, Vin sidesteps and Tyrone keeps
      running straight into the arms of Errol who raises his gun
      at the last moment. Tyrone slides the blade into Errol 's
      ribs and Errol fires a shot straight at Tyrone. The bullet
      passes through Tyrone and hits John in the throat . Vin,
      Lincoln and Sol are left wondering what the fuck has just
      happened .







                                                 (CONTINUED)





111   CONTINUED:    (2)





                                   BAD BOY LINCOLN      ,

                    Grab it.




                                   SOL

                    What?




                                VINNY

                    The gun you prick.
      Sol goes for one, and Vin goes for the other.

112   INT. CARAVAN, PIKEY CAMPSITE




      There is a wake in motion. We cut to Micky and Turkish. It
      is obvious that a lot of hard core drinking has been going
      on, and there is an Irish band playing. The is a coffin in
      the middle of a caravan that is closed for obvious reasons
      i t ' s surrounded by heavy looking lads. The is a man dancing
      on one of the tables.

      THIS SCENE I SHALL BE FILLING IN SHORTLY BUT I AM AFRAID YOU


      HAVE TO WAIT TILL I HAVE BEEN TO A IRISH WAKE. ALL AS I


      KNOW IS THAT RATHER IRONICALLY THEY ARE FUN. HOWEVER I LIKE


      JUXTAPOSITIONS OF MICKY SINGING AND CRYING SIMULTANEOUSLY.


113   INT. DOUG'S OFFICE            '

      All three black guys are sitting in front of BTT and Hands
      and Doug. There is silence as the white guys have just been
      told something disturbing. BTT eventually breaks the silence

                               BTT

                   Well you gotta admire their balls.

                                HANDS

                   _ I don't want to admire balls that I
                    want to chop off.

                                SOL

                    What choice did we have?

                                VINNY

                    I know sorry doesn't mean fuck all,
                    but we are game on, what do you want
                    us to do?

                                ·HANDS

                    Get us that stone back.

                                BTT

                    So Brick Top has now got the stone?

                                   VINNY

                    He's got it.




                                                     (CONTINUED)





113   CONTINUED:


                               HANDS

                   You wouldn't be lying to us would
                   you now?

                                SOL

                   Why should we? Could just have
                   disappeared.
      Cut to Hands who's thinking.

                                HANDS

                   Okay.

114   INT. BRICK TOP'S PUB




      BTT and Hands are at the bar.

                            BARMAN

                You got some front coming round here
                ain't ya Tony?

                            BTT

                Never mind what I got , I am looking
                for Brick Top?

                           BARMAN

               You mean Mr Mclean.

                           BTT

               You know who I mean you fucking fringe
               now find him.
      Pause: the barman looks truculent.

                                BTT (CONT'D)

               Chop chop.



      The barman walks down the end of a bar and picks up the phone.

                            HANDS

                What was it you did exactly Tony?

                            BTT

                I had a little run in with a few of
                the chaps.

                                HANDS

               How ' s that ?

                            BTT

               They're all brainless, they got white
               powdered angels sitting on their
               shoulders telling them what was what,
               all too busy. . .




                                                (CONTINUED)





114   CONTINUED: -

      He sticks his finger by the side of his nose and inhales.

                              BTT (CONT'D)

                If they weren't sniffing the dust
                they where flicking the ash. And
                never trust who puts anything other
                than a finger up his nose.
      KEN, another of Brick Top's men, appears from somewhere and
      approaches Tony with another heavy, SEAN.

                              KEN

                Follow me.
      They do and end up in a corridor. The door .shuts behind
      them and the door in front hasn't yet opened. Ken turns
      around and faces Tony.

                              KEN (CONT'D)

                Did you know that it was my cousin
                Lorrie you stabbed?
      There is a pause.    The situation is volatile.

                             BTT

                Yes I know I stabbed a man called
                Lorrie, but no I didn't know he was
                related to a tub a shit.
      Ken knows it's on.

                             KEN

                Shut that door Sean.

                             BTT

                Lock that fuckin door Sean.
      BTT takes a step forward and puts his hand, into the back of
      his trousers. He starts to growl.

                              BTT (CONT'D)

                 You're a big man, but I don't care
                 if you're ten foot fuckin tall, you
                 still got eight pints of blood and
                you'll bleed like any bastard. And
              . when.I drop .ya, and I will fuckin
                drop ya, I'll open you up like a
                packet of crisps.



      Pause to take in what has just been said then he continues.

                              BTT (CONT'D)

                You're a bully Ken, but remember, I
                am a bigger bully.




                                                 (CONTINUED)





114   CONTINUED: (2)




      The door opens and they are interrupted by another HEAVY.

                              HEAVY FELLA

                Ha, Ken what' s going on? Bring em
                through. The governor wants to see
                em.
      Ken is relieved by the interruption, and he leads the way
      with a truculent "you're lucky" stare. They enter Brick
      Top's office.

                              BRICK TOP

                I gotta say you have got some front
                coming round here Tone, you know the
                lads are picking straws. . .
      Interrupted

                             BTT

                You gotta diamond and it doesn't
                belong to you, it belongs to my
                colleague here.

                             BRICK TOP

                That's what I love about you Tone,
                no small talk.

                            BTT

                I said we should come round and raise
                fuckin hell, you know shoot a few of
                the boys and that, but he said he
                thinks we would have more success if
                we paid for it. So I am going to
                have a drink and let you two discuss
                what you have to discuss.
      Btt walks to the bar.   Ken is sitting there with Sean.

                              BTT (CONT'D)

                Alright big man, I hope you aren't
                bitter about your cousin Lorrie.
      If you listen carefully, you will hear a slight zip of flies
      being undone.

                             KEN

                You know you're alright when they're
                are talking business, I ' d like to
                see you gob off outta here.

                            BTT ·

                Ohh do me a favour Ken, you've always
                been mouth and no trousers.







                                                (CONTINUED)





114   CONTINUED: (-3)




      We cut back to Brick Top and Hands

                             HANDS                        -

                 I 'l l pay for it, I won't pay you the
                 top fuckin whack but you'll never
                 get that anyway. You got it?

                             BRICK TOP

                 I can't sell you something I haven't
                 got now can I?
      BTT returns to them - there is a scream from Ken

                             KEN

                 You're a dead fuckin man. You listen
                 to me Tony you're a dead fuckin...
      Brick top frowns at Ken, and Ken shuts up quickly.

                             BRICK TOP

                 What did you do to upset Ken, Tony?
      Tony shrugs

                             KEN

                 He's pissed in my fuckin pocket,
                 look!
      Ken shows off a wet-sided jacket and a damp set of trousers.

                             BRICK TOP

                 Do shut up Ken.   That was a bit
                 naughty Tony.
      Tony shrugs. Brick Top puts his hands in to his pocket and
      withdraws the stone. We cut to Hand's expression.

                             HANDS

                 Well come on, let's have a look.
      Brick Top passes the stone to Hands. All goes quiet while
      everybody focuses on the stone. Hands lifts it up to his
      eye.

                             HANDS (CONT'D)

                 What are you playing at? -
      He drops the stone: it smashes on the ground.

                             HANDS (CONT'D)

                 It's a zirconia.
      We crash track in to Brick Top's expression of shock.




115   INT. VAULT(DOUG'S OFFICE)




      The four black guys are trying to pick the lock of the vault,
      having been locked in it by Bullet Tooth, Hands and Doug.

                               VINNY

                   I changed the stone.

                                SOL

                   You what?

                               VINNY

                   I changed it. I know Brick Top knows
                   nothing about stones.

                               SOL

                   Yes but Doug the fuckin head does!




                               VINNY

                   Yeah well I didn't expect them to
                   lock us up in here did I?

                               SOL

                   Ohh your one clever bastard Vin, you
                   really are. Where is it?

                               VINNY

                   It's at Lincoln's.

                               BAD BOY LINCOLN

                   What the fuck's it doing at my place?

                               VINNY

                   Waiting for us to pick it up.

                               SOL

                   What happen if they find that it's a
                   fake stone Vince?

                               VINNY

                   Well we are going to get fucked Sol
                   what do you think is going to happen?
      The door opens.

                               BTT

                   Ohh yes you are going to get fucked
                   Vince.                 -

116   INT. DARK.




      A distant voice is shouting

                                TURKISH

                   Oi Micky.   Oi Micky.




117 ' INT. VAN -- NIGHT

      We fade out of black to Micky's pov. Thisis shot in slow
      motion. Micky opens his eyes, in the backof.a large van,
      there is only one faint light that moodilyilluminates his
      tired eyes.

                            TURKISH

                You feeling alright Micky?

                            MICKY

                I've felt better.

                            TURKISH

                We are nearly there. They are a
                horrible bunch this lot Micky so pay
                attention to what you are doing.
      Micky just yawns.

                             TURKISH (CONT'D)

               Put up some kind of a show, he's a
               hard bastard this "good night"
               Anderson so don't get too clever, he
               used to be a pro. Just keep moving
               round the ring, and let the odd one
               go when push has come to shove.

                            MICKY

                Let's get on with it, shall we?

118   INT. WAREHOUSE                                -    '

      A temporary ring has   been erected, four scaffolding posts
      with welded on hoops   make the arena, the ropes that are
      threaded through the   hoops are industrial nylon and free of
      padding. Around the    ropes it's starting to fill. Brick Top
      approaches Salt Pete   and Jack 'the all seeing eye'.

                            SALT, PETER

                I hope we gonna get a better show
                this time.

                            BRICK TOP

                This will make up for it.     Micky's
                going down in the fourth.     Terry
                over there is in charge of   the bets.
                Now you'll have to forgive   me.
      Brick Top leaves with Ken.




                            BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

                Have we got the lads at the- camp
                site?







                                                (CONTINUED)





118   CONTINUED:


                               KEN

                   Yeah they are there.
      Cut to a shot of some of Brick Top's heavies waiting in a
      car outside the campsite.

                               BRICK TOP

                   Where's that fuckin pikey?

119   INT. BACK OF WAREHOUSE




      Brick Top is standing in front of Micky whose eyes are still
      semi open.

                            BRICK TOP

                What's wrong with you? You stoned?
                Is he fuckin stoned?

                            TURKISH            .   -

                He's like that before a fight.
      He turns his attention to Micky.

                           BRICK TOP

               Now you know when you're going down?

                              TURKISH

               Of course he knows when he's going
               down.

                           KEN

               Hey fuck face, who's speaking to
               you? He asked him didn't he?

                           TURKISH

               Fuck face? I like that, I ' l l have
               to use that one next time -I want to
               impress your mum Ken.

                           MICKY

               The fourth... or was it the fifth..

                           BRICK TOP

               There's a campsite full of pikies
               that might not think you're so fuckin
               funny when they 'are putting the flames
               out on their children's backs.
      Cut to a shot of Brick Top's boys lighting a cigarette in
      the car outside the pikies.




120   INT. WAREHOUSE

      Micky appears from a small door at the back of the warehouse.
      He approaches the ring accompanied with shouts of
      encouragement and counter shouts. He's wearing a pair of
      semi cut tracksuit bottoms and a t-shirt with grease marks
      down the front. Turkish walks behind him, Micky still looks
      bored. He climbs into the ring. Then from the same door as
      the one through Micky came out walks a larger character with
      a nose that appears to have seen countless rounds with a
      frying pan: HORACE 'GOOD NIGHT1 ANDERSON.

                            THE REFF

                Alright lads no eye gouging no biting.
                Do your worst. Back to your corners.



      We drift again into Micky's pov, his world is becoming more
      and more surreal. He can faintly hear Turkish whispering
      words to him, but he's not really listening. A bell comes
      from somewhere, and Micky instinctively walks to the center
      of the ring. "Good night" is already there, they pace one
      another for a second or two, Micky avoids a punch or two and
      then he takes a hard one and he knows it, we flash to white,
      Micky's in trouble: he lets one of his missiles go and BANG
      it shakes "good night" to his core, all goes quiet. We go
      to super slow motion: his knees buckle and "good night" is
      in trouble. Micky maintains a frown as he watches his
      opponent's knees threaten to betray him. The crowd tries to
      digest what is happening. After a period of silence reality
      dawns. Brick Top mouths the words in silence."Don1t go down
      you fucker". The crowd wants Micky to finish the job. But
      common sense reins back the coup de grace. "Good night"
      eventually regains control of his legs and stumbles forward,
      after a few sleepy punches he starts to provide a serious
      onslaught.




                            TURKISH

                I don't like the look of this Tommy,
                bring the van up to the back door.
      This goes on for two rounds (which is montage down to a few
      seconds). We go in the mind of poor Micky. We break the
      music just as it's starting to look dangerous... The bell
      goes and Micky walks to the wrong corner. Turkish pulls him
      back to his corner.

                            TURKISH (CONT'D)

               They are on ya. You got to hurt him
               Micky. Otherwise we are
               rumbled.... you hear me Micky? Do
               -something, it looks like it' s rigged.
      Micky goes out again his hands are low, BANG there is a flash
      of white as Micky goes down in the dirt. Dust rises from
      where he fell. He gets up quickly, his hands are still low,
      BANG he goes down again, in no time he's up.




                                              (CONTINUED)





120   CONTINUED:    -

      BANG: he hits the ground again and this time when he hits
      the deck, he penetrates the dust covered floor, like i t ' s
      made out of water. He falls through the water like he's
      sinking; his eyes are open and he can't breathe, he continues
      to fall, but he's unpanicked (he is now Micky 1). When Micky
      1 looks up he can see himself in the corner of the ring takin
      kidney punches from Good Night, he's winded and only semi-
      conscious (this is Micky 2). Micky 1 makes the effort to
      swim up and tries to penetrate the floor but he's stuck he
      can't get through. Micky 2 takes more punishment in the
      ring, as Micky 1 ' s hand continues to try to break the
      underside of the floor but it stretches like rubber and forces
      Micky 1 down again. Micky 1 looks up again and sees how
      much trouble Micky 2 ' s in the ring. Micky 1 is panicking
      now, he's running out of oxygen and Micky 2's being beaten,
      Micky 1 starts -to sink again but now flames tickle the bottom
      of his feet he looks up. and sees Micky 2 being smashed to
      hell, his body eventually collapses and Micky 2 falls through
      the floor. And as the latter falls through, Micky 1 manages
      to rise from the depths and his punch manages to perforate
      the surface. The punch continues its trajectory and has the
      power to fell a red blooded rhino.... it catches "Good Night"
      on the jaw and it's good night for "Good Night" it's unlikely
      that he'll awake in the next hour. Dear oh dear everybody
      is in trouble.



      Again we cut to the reactions of the relevant parties.

                               TURKISH (CONT'D)

                   Tommy get the van.




                               TOMMY

                   I have it, it's waiting.
      Turkish jumps into the ring and grabs Micky.

                               TURKISH

                   We are off Micky, hold tight, and
                   move quickly. ,
      Turkish pulls Micky away. It's not as hard as it might be
      trying to get out, because the crowd seems to have found its
      own disputes, chairs start to fly. Brick Top's boys are
      frustrated in the mayhem. Brick Top calmly dials into his
      mobile telephone. It rings.

                                                                     1


121   EXT. CARAVAN, PIKEY CAMPSITE

      Darren picks up the phone.

                                DAREN      .

                   If you would you like to speak to
                   your friends, you'll have to speak a
                   little -louder.




                                                  (CONTINUED)





121   CONTINUED:

      We pull back to see four slumped heads in the car and blood
      staining the windscreen. Brick Top calmly puts the phone
      down.

                               BRICK TOP

                   Right lets get outta here.
      Brick Top is looking every which way and trying to get out
      of there, accompanied by Ken.

                               BRICK TOP (CONT.'D)

                   Where's the car Ken?




                                  KEN

                   I t ' s coming now.

                               BRICK TOP

                   We are outta here.
      They come out of a side entrance, their car pulls round the
      corner and screeches to a halt. Brick Top opens the door as
      he is about to get in, he's eyes widen to the size of saucers
      as FOUR MEN (who we recognize from the wake) are sitting in
      the place of his driver. They both have sawed-off shotguns
      and empty four barrels into the chest of Brick Top and Ken.
      The car spins away, leaving their twitching bodies on the
      dirt.

                                                                       :


122   INT. BAD BOY LINCOLN'S HOUSE                                 .




      Hands, Doug and Bullet Tooth have Vin, Sol and Bad Boy Lincol
      in tow. They look at the front room of Lincoln's house.

                               HANDS

                   Very nice Lincoln.

                               BTT

                   Veeeery nice Lincoln.

                               BTT (CONT'D)

                   Well where is it?

                                VINNY

                   Next door.
      They open the door.

123   INT. BAD BOY LINCOLN'S SITTING ROOM.




      This room is a complete mess. All the colony leather has
      been chewed up beyond recognition. They all grimace at the
      smell. The dog comes running up










                                                     (CONTINUED)





123   CONTINUED:    -





                                    B AD BOY LINCOLN

                   Look what your dog's done to my
                   leather.

                                BTT

                   It's a bit funky in here.
      BTT opens a window.       The dog looks extremely relieved to see
      someone.

                                    HANDS

                   You keep a good house Lincoln.      So
                   where's this stone?

                                VINNY

                   It was over there.
      He points to a pile of chewed up cushions.

                                    HANDS

                   Where?

                               VINNY

                   We left it in a box over there...
                   somewhere.
      He walks over and finds the remains of the box.

                                    VINNY (CONT'D)

                   I t ' s empty.




                                    HANDS

                   Tony.

                               BTT

                   Dear oh dear.

                               SOL

                   He's not fuckin about, we left it
                   there. It must be in the dog.
      All eyes focus on the dog.

                                HANDS

                   Well let's have a look shall we?
                   . . . . Tn .
                           oy
      All eyes focus on Tony.

                                    BTT

                   What?

                             HANDS

               Have a vlook in the dog.






                                                       (CONTINUED)





123   CONTINUED: ( 2 )





                               BT T

                  What do you mean have a look in the
                  dog?

                               HANDS

                  I mean open him up..
      Tony is not sure about this.

                               BTT

                  I t ' s not a fuckin tin of baked beans,
                  what do you mean open him up?

                              HANDS

                  I mean open him up.
      Hands does a movement that represents a knife across the
      throat.

                             BTT

                 That's a bit strong isn't it?

                             HANDS

                 You wouldn't have a problem if it
                 was a person.

                               BTT

                 But it's not, it's a dog and I have
                 never done a dog.

                             HANDS

                 My heart bleeds.
      There is another pause

                            ,BTT

                 What dp I do?

                              HANDS

                  Let me take a wild and reckless guess.
                  Stick a knife in his guts and see if
                  it's got a diamond in there? I'll
                  hold it still and'you open it up.
      Tony looks positively unsure and rocks his head from side to
      side.

                              BTT

                  Fuckin hell, alright then.

                              VINNY

                  You can't do that.










                                                    (CONTINUED)





123   CONTINUED: (-3)





                             HANDS

                 Well do it to you as well if it makes
                 you feel any better.
      Cut to Tony having some problems trying to get hold of the
      awkward dog. The dog starts to squeak. Tony passes the
      blade to Hands.

                                BTT

                 I t ' s squeaking.

                               HANDS

                 What, you've never heard a dog squeak
                 before?... Hold him still.
      The dog isn't sure about this either.      Vin is in a panic and
      suddenly.

                            VINNY

                 Stop! I can see it.   I can see the
                 stone.
      Hands at the point of entry stops. Vinny hops over to the
      stone and picks it up. Tony lets the dog stand but keeps a
      grip oh the collar. The dog is relieved to be semi-liberated.
      Hands is still on his knees armed with an incredulous stare.

                             HANDS

                 Well let's see it.
      Vinny holds it up. There's a sense of relief. He then throws
      the stone, it cuts through the air. And the dog seeing
      .another projectile runs to intercept it. There's a pause
      while all now focus again on the dog. This is digested
      literally and mentally. The dog recognizes all the attention
      it's receiving. And goes through the motions of swallowing
      it. Hands attempts an approach. The dog understandably
      feels uncomfortable about the advancing vanguard and decides
      emergency action is needed, and seeing the open window
      launches itself out of it.

      FADE TO BLACK


      FADE UP


124   EXT. CARAVAN CAMP SITE                                             ;

      The pikies have moved overnight.

                             SOL

                 Well this is where they were.










                                                 (CONTINUED)





124   CONTINUED:    -


                               HANDS

                   Well they aren't fuckin here now are
                   they? And I can't see a dog can
                   you?

                                VINNY

                   They can't be far.

125   INT. CAR

      Hands, BTT and the black guys are back on the road.

                               HANDS

                   You gonna have to come up with
                   something.
      Just then they see some caravans in the distance.

                               VINNY

                   There they are.

126   INT. NEW CARAVAN CAMP SITE

      All the caravans are fastened to the back of cars. Vinny,
      Sol, BTT and Hands are standing in front of Micky.

                             MICKY

                 Well he's didn't come back to us.

                               VINNY

                   But he always came back.

                             MICKY

                 Well you might have noticed that we
                 have moved, you should have fed him
                 more, a dog will never leave you if
                 you feed it properly. It was a good
                 dog, he had a little flatulence
                 problem but was a good dog.

                               HANDS

                   Are you sure he's not here?

                               MICKY

                   I think I would have noticed if a
                   fuckin dog was sitting in my caravan
                   don't you? Tommy, Turkish, have you
                   seen a dog sitting in me caravan?

                               TURKISH

                   I can't say I have Micky.

                               MICKY

                   See there you have it.

                                                  (CONTINUED)





126   CONTINUED:


                               HANDS

                   Do you mind if we have a look around?

                               MICKY

                   What the fuck's got into you lot?
                   It's only a dog. I'l l give you
                   another one, if it means that much
                   to you.

127   EXT. CARAVAN CAMP SITE

      Vinny, Sol, BTT and Hands descend the steps, they look like
      children with their toys taken away.

                             HANDS

                 You better find me that dog, skinny
                 Vinny.



      One of Micky's kids is on the bottom of the caravan steps as
      the brothers walk by.

                              . KID 1

                   I looked after your car for ya.

                               HANDS

                 So?

                             KID 1

                 So aren't you gonna pay me?

                             BTT

                 Yeah bollocks.

                             KID 1

                 Bollocks to you, you tight git.

                             VINNY

                 Watch your mouth you cheeky shite.

                             KID 1

                 Yeah fuck ya.
      The kid turns away and goes back to squeezing a toy.   All
      four of the chaps stop in their tracks.
      Cut to shot of squeaky toy. We have seen this toy before.
      Cut to freeze frame of Sol, Vin, BTT and Hands stopped dead
      in their .tracks. They haven't turned to look over their
      shoulders yet, but their eyes are turning to look.







      THE END.







Snatch



Writers :   Guy Ritchie
Genres :   Comedy  Crime


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