Edward Sissorhands
OLD KIM
Snuggle in, sweetie. It's cold out there.
GRANDDAUGHTER
Why is it snowing, grandma? Where does it come
from?
OLD KIM
Oh, that's a long story, sweetheart.
GRANDDAUGHTER
I want to hear.
OLD KIM
Oh, not tonight. Go to sleep.
GRANDDAUGHTER
I'm not sleepy. Tell me, please.
OLD KIM
Well, all right. Let's see. I guess it would
have to start with scissors.
GRANDDAUGHTER
Scissors?
OLD KIM
Well, there are all kinds of scissors. And once
there was even a man who had scissors for
hands.
GRANDDAUGHTER
A man?
OLD KIM
Yes.
GRANDDAUGHTER
Hands, scissors?
OLD KIM
No, scissorhands. You know the mansion on top
of the mountain?
GRANDDAUGHTER
It's haunted.
OLD KIM
Well, a long time ago, an inventor lived in
that mansion. He made many things, I suppose.
He also created a man. He gave him inside, a
heart, a brain, everything. Well, almost
everything. You see, the inventor was very old.
He died before he got to finish the man he
invented. So the man was left by himself,
incomplete and all alone.
GRANDDAUGHTER
He didn't have a name?
OLD KIM
Of course, he had a name. His name was Edward.
PEG
Avon calling.
HELEN
Weren't you just here?
PEG
No, not since last season. Today I've come to
show you our exquisite new line of soft colors
in shadows, blushes and lipstick. Everything
you need to accent and highlight your changing
looks.
HELEN
My changing looks? That's good.
(Helen chuckles)
PEG
Well, it goes that saying and I also have a
complete selection of your old favorites, those
tried-and-true products we've all come to
depend on year-in and year-out.
HELEN
Come on, Peg. I never buy anything from you.
You know that?
PEG
I know. Bye, Helen.
REPAIRMAN
You know, you didn't have to call me, ma'am.
You could have taken care of this by yourself.
JOYCE
I could? I don't think so.
REPAIRMAN
Yeah, you see, it's easy. The food trap's
clogged. That's all. You see this bolt here?
You just unscrew this. OK? And out she pops.
JOYCE
You know, on TV they say you repairmen are
lonely bunch of people. Housewives get lonely
too. Although you may not realize it since they
haven't made a commercial on the subject.
REPAIRMAN
And then you just take this and put it back in
here nice and easy. Be careful not to force it,
because it fits in there by itself. And then
you just screw this back on.
(The bell rings.)
JOYCE
On no! Who could that be? Will you excuse me
for a moment? Now. Don't go anywhere. I'll be
right back. This is fascinating. I wouldn't
want to miss a moment of it.
PEG
Good morning, Joyce. Avon calling.
JOYCE
Why! Peg. Have you gone blind? Can't you see
there's a vehicle in my driveway?
PEG
Oh, yes.
JOYCE
Well, I'm surprised you don't realize that
means I'm busy.
(Joyce shuts the door with a
bang.)
PEG
Okay. Now, we should decide on lipsticks. Okay,
dear, what one did you like best? There was the
Winsome Wahini which looked charming on you. Or
the Bahenie Bliss.
A GIRL
I like them both.
PEG
Well, great.
A GIRL
You don't actually think I have any money, do
you?
(Peg gets in her car.)
CHILDREN
Ding, dong, the Avon lady.
PEG
It's just not my day.
(Disappointed Peg sees a mansion
through her rearview mirror and
drives to the place. She is
attracted by the beautiful garden
there and enters the mansion.)
PEG
Oh, my goodness.
PEG
Oh, it's so beautiful. Hello?
(Birds flying)
Hello? Avon calling, oh my. Hello, I'm Peg
Boggs. I'm your local Avon representative.
Hello. I'm sorry to barge in like this. But you
don't have any reason to be afraid. This is
some huge house, isn't it? Thank goodness for
those aerobics classes.
(Snipping)
PEG
Hello. Hello. Why are you hiding back there?
You don't have to hide from me. I'm Peg Boggs.
I'm your local Avon representative and I'm as
harmless as cherry pie.
(Peg sees Edward's scissorhands.)
Oh my! I can see that I've disturbed you. How
stupid of me! I'll just be going now.
EDWARD
Don't go.
PEG
Oh my! What happened to you?
EDWARD
I'm not finished.
PEG
Uh, put those down. Don't come any closer. Just
please... Those are your hands? Those are your
hands. What happened to you? Where are your
parents? Hum... Your mother? Your father?
EDWARD
He didn't wake up.
PEG
Are you alone? Do you live up here all by
yourself? What happened to your face? Hum, you
know, I won't hurt you. But at the very least
let me give you a good astringent and this will
help to prevent infection. What's your name?
EDWARD
Edward.
PEG
Edward? I think you should just come home with
me.
(Peg takes Edward to her home)
PEG
Oh!
EDWARD
I'm-I'm sorry.
PEG
No, Don't be. You go ahead and look you have
every reason to be excited.
PEG
Oh! Are you ok?
EDWARD
Are you ok?
(Ring)
HELEN
Hello.
MARGIE
Hi, it's Margie. Listen, I was standing outside
talking to Carol and Peg drove by, she had
somebody in the car.
HELEN
Did you get a good look?
MARGIE
No, did she say anything to you, about having
guest?
HELEN
She didn't say anything. She rang my doorbell
early this morning.
MARGIE
No, ok, I'll meet you on the corner. Right,
Bye.
(Birds signal)
HELEN
Oh, damn!
PEG
Here we go, dear. This is our house. And you
can just go right in and make yourself right at
home. OK? And just, well have something to eat
or drink, whatever you... Here, dear. Here
you... This is the front door here, Here we go,
right in here.
(A woman talks on the phone)
A WOMAN
Joyce, I just saw this strange guy drop in with
Peg. I didn't get a very good look at him. He
looked kind of pale. Okay, I'll be right there.
Don't do anything without me. Okay? Bye.
JOYCE
Yes, I'll be right there.
PEG
Here we are. So, oh, this is the living room
and back here, the bedrooms. You want to see
the pictures? All right. Well, this is my
husband, Bill. He's a bowling champion. Do you
know what bowling is? Bowling? Well, here they
are down at the lake, fishing. I think Kevin
looks a little glum Because they didn't catch
anything that day. And here's my daughter, Kim.
All dressed up the junior prom. She's a senior
now. I can't believe it. She's camping in the
mountains with some friends, but she'll be back
in a few days and you can meet her then. Isn't
she beautiful? That's my family. Now, go on,
dear. I'll show you the rest of the house. Then
you can just freshen up and make yourself at
home. Okay? That's the kitchen over there. You
help yourself to anything you want to eat or
drink. Those are grapes. Back here are the
bedrooms. Let me get you some towels, then I
will see what we can find to wear. You know
what? I think I have some of Bill's old clothes
in here. This is perfect. Here. These should
just fit you.
(The phone rings.)
Oh, no, no. Don't be alarmed. That's just a
phone. Now you can go in Kim's room and put
these on. I'll be right with you.
PEG
No, no, scissors. That's right. Well, he was
born up there or something. Have you seen him
before? No, I don't think he's been off the
grounds before today. You're kidding. How did
you get together with him? I have to go. I'll
talk to you later Margie, Bye-bye.
(to Edward)
I'm sorry Edward, I didn't... oh, dear. May I
help you with this?
EDWARD
Thank you.
PEG
There you go. Oh, dear, you've cut your face.
Let me get this right off. Does that hurt?
Okay. No, good. Now let's get you dressed.
Okay. There we go. Very fine. You look fine,
just fine. Come on, we can't wait for you.
You've got rollers in your damn hair.
PEG
Okay. Now what did I do with my sci... Edward,
um, would you. Thank you. I have a doctor
friend who I think could help you.
EDWARD
Really?
PEG
Yes, I can help with the scars. I just want to
consult the Avon handbook before doing
anything.
PEG
Kevin, it's not polite to stare. Think how it
would make you feel if somebody were staring at
you.
KEVIN
I wouldn't care.
PEG
Well, I would, so don't do it!
BILL
This must be quite a change for you, Ed.
PEG
I think he prefers Edward.
BILL
Sure. So what have you been doing up there in
that big old place? I bet the view must be
spectacular, Ed.
PEG
I was just...
BILL
See all the way to the ocean?
EDWARD
Sometimes.
PEG
Bill, could I have the salt and pepper? Thank
you.
KEVIN
Man, those things are cool. You know I bet
they're razor sharp. One karate chop to a guy's
neck...
PEG
Would you like some butter for your bread?
PEG
Great.
EDWARD
Thank you.
KEVIN
Can I bring him to show and tell on Monday?
PEG
I've had enough.
PEG
(to Edward)
You think you can sleep? Things feel strange
now, but soon you'll feel right at home. Good
night.
(Peg tries to cover Edward's
scars.)
PEG
The light concealing cream goes on first, then
you blend and blend and blend. Blending is the
secret. More concealing for you? But you
complexion is so fair. Now this has a touch of
lavender in it. Give it a try here. Close
enough. OK. This should do the trick here. I
have another idea. We'll cover up the scars and
start with a completely smooth surface. Don't
eat this stuff! Sports announcements on
RADIO
Hartely into the windup and the strike one
pitch. Swung on and missed strike two. If it's
a hit, the club has 12 hits. But they still
have 11 on the scoreboard and it's 3-1. 0 and 2
the count to Warren. Now they change it to 12
hits.
BILL
Turn it up, Kevin. I can't hear it. Kevin! No,
make it louder. Sports announcements on
RADIO
Hartely's strike two pitch is hammered.
KEVIN
You hear that, Mr. Boggs?
BILL
No, make it louder. Sports announcements on
RADIO
It's going way back. It's gone. It's out of
here. It is history.
KEVIN
Dad, look! Sports announcements on
RADIO
A grand slam for Martinez to make it a five-run
inning and blow this game to pieces.
BILL
I'll be darned.
PEG
They filled the whole tape.
(Peg listens to the recorded
phones.)
RECORDED VOICES
What's going on over there, Peg. Call me....Hi,
it's Margie. Who is he? Call me. Oh, by the
way, here it's pouring rain in the mountains.
You think the kids are okay?...Hi, there,
darling. The gals are all in a tizzy about your
secret visitor. You can't keep him a secret
forever.
BILL
Boy, it's just wonderful, Ed. My god, you, you
have the whole family in there, don't you?
KEVIN
Edward, come here.
(Kevin cleans Edward's
scissorhands with water.)
BILL
No, no, no. That's a terrible idea, son. Go to
the garage and get the oil can. We don't want
him rusting up on this now, do we?
PEG
Edward, you did us? Oh, Bill. It's us.
BILL
Yes, it is.
PEG
Oh, Edward.
(Esmeralda comes near.)
ESMERALDA
It's not heaven he's from. It's straight from
the stinking flames of hell. The power of satan
is in him. I can feel it. God, you have the
poor sheep strayed so far from the path.
EDWARD
We are not sheep.
ESMERALDA
Don't come near me.
BILL
That's right. Go on. Get out of here. Run!
PEG
Edward, don't you listen to her.
BILL
Don't worry about her, Edward. She's just an
old lonely loony. That's all.
(Women knock on the door.)
WOMEN
Hi!
JOYCE
You are all hiding in there like a bunch of old
hermit crabs.
PEG
Hi, Joyce. Hi!
JOYCE
Shame on you, keeping your unusual guest all to
yourself. We think that's mighty selfish of
you.
PEG
No, it, it's... things have just been a little
hectic around here. That's all.
JOYCE
Oh, that was so sweet of you to want to correct
the situation. What time does the barbecue
begin?
PEG
Barbecue?
JOYCE
Well, you intend to show your guest hospitality
by introducing him to your friends, don't you?
ANOTHER WOMAN
I'll bring coleslaw.
JOYCE
And I will bring the ambrosia salad. What time
was it that you said?
PEG
What time? Ah... bill.
JOYCE
About five?
ESMERALDA
He has been sent first to tempt you. But it's
not too late. You must push him from you. Expel
him. Trample down the perversion of nature.
JOYCE
Did you hear that? He's the perversion of
nature. Wow, isn't that exciting? See you
later. Bye bye.
PEG
I've always said that you really can't have a
picnic or a barbecue without deviled eggs.
They're just the best. They make the thing. Oh,
dear. Edward. That's wonderful. I didn't know
you chopped all those things. What a really
big...
(Peg notices a cut on his face.)
Oh, all right now. It's just a nick. There's no
need to be nervous, dear. You know, Esmeralda
won't be here and the rest of neighbors there
are really very nice. There's no need to be
nervous. They are so eager to meet you. You
just have to be yourself.
EDWARD
Myself?
PEG
That's right. Just your own sweet self.
KEVIN
Hey, play scissors, paper, stone with us.
EDWARD
Play scissors what?
NEIGHBOR
I got a doctor friend might be able to help
you. Aren't they most incredible?
PEG
He did them just like that.
TINKA
This afternoon?
AT THE PARTY
Hi, Mike. How are you doing? Hello, Jack. Hey,
kid. Hey, Hi. George Morroe! Whoa! That's a
heck of handshake. Uh, Harry! Harry! I saw you
on the golf course. You got a dozen of the
melons...
PEG
(to Edward)
Are you ok? Do you want something to eat? Are
you hungry? Do you want a cracker?
MARGIE
He's so... different completely different, No
kidding mysterious.
JOYCE
Do you imagine those hands are hot or cold?
Just think what a single snip could do.
HELEN
Or undo.
GEORGE
(to Edward)
Eddie. The guys and I were talking, we'd like
want to invite you to our card game on Friday
night. Would you like that? Only thing is, you
can't cut.
AN OLD MAN
I have my own infirmity. Never did me a bit of
harm. Took some shrapnel during the war and
ever since then I can't feel a thing. Not a
damn thing. Listen Don't you ever let anybody
tell you you have a handicap.
JOYCE
Who's handicapped? My goodness! Don't be
ridiculous. You're not handicapped. You're...
What do they call that? Exceptional. My name's
Joyce. And I noticed that you have not tasted
any of the ambrosia salad that I made
especially for you. Allow me.
(Joyce helps Edward to eat.)
WOMAN 1
You must try this.
(Many women flock to him)
MARGE
(to Edward)
You must try this. It's my mother's recipe.
Let him chew, for heaven sakes with your green
thumb. I could use your help.
HOUSEWIFE
Me, too. There you go.
WOMAN 2
I want a row of angels.
JOYCE
Sorry, ladies. But he's promised to come to my
house first.
WOMAN 3
One more.
JOYCE
Haven't you, Eddie?
EDWARD
I did?
BILL
Okay, everybody. Grab your plates. Soup's on.
EDWARD
I thought it was shish kebab.
BILL
What?
EDWARD
I thought it was shish kebab.
BILL
Yeah, it, it is shish kebab. It was a figure of
speech, Ed. You got to learn not to take things
so literally.
(On hearing that, Edward looks
back the time the inventor taught
him the etiquette.)
INVENTOR
Let us pretend we're in the drawing room, and
the hostess is serving tea "Now, many numerous
little questions confront us" "Should the man
rise" "When he accepts his cup of tea?" "May
lump sugar be taken with the things?"
EDWARD
Hmm, no.
INVENTOR
Is it good form to accept a second cup? "Now,
should the napkin be entirely unfolded." Oh
should the center crease. Be allowed to remain?
It is so easy to commit embarrassing
blunders. "But etiquette humiliation and
discomfort. Mmm yes, boring. Let us switch to,
Um... To some poetry, Hmm?" "There was an old
man from the cape." "Who made himself there,
but they keep such a beautiful shape." That's
right. Go ahead, smile. It's funny. That's
right.
DENNY
Okay, guys, we're home. shh.
KIM
I can't believe. Everything's still sopping.
TEENAGE GIRL
I can't wait to take a shower.
SUZANNE
And wash off the mildew.
JIM
If my parents set the alarm, I'm screwed I'll
sleep in the yard... again.
KIM
I told you to call to say we're coming back
early.
DENNY
Did you?
SUZANNE
He'd rather complain.
JIM
How else can I be the center of the attention?
You didn't call your parents.
KIM
They don't run their house like a police
station. Bye. Thanks for driving, Denny. See
you later.
JIM
See you later. Bye.
KIM
Don't forget your arm.
JIM
Oh, yeah.
DENNY
Come on, Jim let's go.
KIM
Bill! There's somebody in my room. Go. Look. A
murderer with an axe. He did try to even kill
me.
BILL
It's all right. It's all right.
( to Kevin)
Go back to bed. It's only Edward.
(to Edward)
This way.
PEG
Honey, that was Edward.
KIM
Who is he? What are you talking about?
PEG
Edward's come to live with us. There's nothing
to be upset about. No, no. It's okay.
BILL
We'll have you a setup here in a minute. Up
with your feet. A queen-size bed here. How do
you like that? It's all made up and everything.
There you go. What's the matter? What's wrong?
She gets you nervous? You've been closed up in
a way in that castle too long. You don't know
anything about the wonderful world of teen-age
girls. They're all crazy. Here some. Straighten
that out.
EDWARD
What is it?
BILL
Lemonade. I don't know what it is. They reach a
certain age. They develop these gland things.
Their bodies swell up. They go crazy.
EDWARD
Glands?
BILL
yeah, glands. I try not to think about it
(Edward drinks lemonade.)
Good. Isn't it?
(Peg calms down Kim.)
PEG
Now you stay in Kevin's room tonight. Tomorrow
we'll fix your room right.
KIM
Mom, why did you have to bring him in here?
PEG
Oh, honey, I couldn't have left him there all
alone. You would have done the same thing.
KIM
Why does he have to stay here?
PEG
Oh, my goodness, Kim. I'm surprised at you. He
can't help the way he is. Have a little
sympathy.
KIM
I do have a little sympathy.
PEG
Then let's just say hello and later you can
come downstairs and shake his hand.
KIM
Shake his hand?
PEG
Well, not literally. Goodness, you scared him
half to death.
KIM
I scared him to death?
PEG
Hi, Bill. I just wanted you two to have a
proper introduction. Edward, this is our
daughter Kim. Kim, this is Edward who's going
to live with us.
KIM
Hi!
(Edward falls on the floor.)
JOYCE
(to Edward)
Eddie. Thirsty?
(to Kisses)
Kisses, Hush up. Quiet now. I can hardly hear
myself think. Momma's precious little baby
girl.
(to Edward)
Wouldn't you like a nice cool glass of
lemonade?
EDWARD
Lemonade?
(Vomits)
(Bell rings)
KEVIN
One chop to guy's neck. And it's all over.
They're the sharpest things in the world. They
can hack through anything. And...
KIM
I think they look weird. They give me the
creeps.
A GIRL
You should see the clown in front of Ms.
Peter's yard.
EDWARD
Kim!
KIM
Oh, no!
A GIRL
That's him?
JIM
He's calling you, Kim.
KIM
Stop it.
A WOMAN
Edward, you forgot your cookies.
JIM
Don't worry, Eddie. She's waiting for you.
A GIRL
Let's go.
PEG
Bill, you know what Edward told me? He had
lunch at Jackie's today.
BILL
Really?
PEG
She's just had her kitchen completely redone.
BILL
I'll be darned.
PEG
New paint, new cabinets, new floors, new
microwave, new Sonnet dishwasher.
BILL
Yeah, isn't that wonderful?
PEG
Isn't that something? Jim, didn't you tell me
your mom had her kitchen done too?
JIM
Yeah, my dad bought himself a bunch of new
toys. Big screen TV, CD players, VCR with four
heads.
PEG
My goodness sake! I wonder what it's like to be
that rich.
JIM
No, they keep things pretty much locked up. My
father has his own room for his stuff to make
sure I can't get and use it. He's so cheap he
won't help me buy my own car.
BILL
Well, he probably wants you to pay for it
yourself. I agree with him. It builds
character. You'll appreciate it more. Speaking
of money, I understand you are not charging for
gardening, Edward?
PEG
Now, Bill. Margie made him cookies today.
BILL
Sweetheart, you can't buy the necessities of
life with cookies. You can't buy car with
cookies. Am I right, Jim?
JIM
Ah, that's true, sir. You can't.
(Edward gives a piece of meat to
Kim's friend.)
A GIRL
I can't eat that. He used his hands. I don't
think it's sanitary.
(Edward passes the piece to Kim
but drops it in her lap by
mistake.)
EDWARD
I'm sorry.
PEG
Honey, you want me to help you clean that up?
KIM
No, that's okay. I'll be right back.
(Edward begins styling women's
hair and becomes famous.)
HOUSEWIFE
This can't possibly be my Alexis.
(to Edward)
She looks so beautiful. Look at you. She's
gorgeous. Thank you.
PEG
It won't be long. She has just to decide on the
style, and then it will be fine. She just has
to decide what style she wants.
JOYCE
I was hoping for something big and bouffant.
Kind of like mine. Don't you worry , Kisses.
You'll be so pretty. Eddie, is there anything
you can't do? You take my breath away. I swear.
Look at this. Have you ever cut a woman's hair?
Would you cut mine? That was the single most
thrilling experience of my whole life.
PEG
We're getting the head of the company.
KIM
I'm home.
PEG
Hi, honey. We're in here.
KIM
Hi! What did you do to your hair?
PEG
Edward cut it. Isn't it wild?
(on telephone)
Hello. Oh, I can't believe I'm talking to you
in person. This is such an honor. Yes. He's
right here. Great. So then you know all about
it. Aha. That's exactly what I've been using.
Well, I've had a little trouble getting it to
the right consistency. Yeah, right. just a
little. I'll try that. Well, what imaginative
suggestions! I sure will. Thank you so much.
Bye bye.
(to Edward)
No wonder she's the head of the company. You
know, she started out as a sales representative
just like me. I've always wanted to talk to her
but until now I never had a reason. Thanks,
Edward.
EDWARD
She had some ideas?
PEG
You bet she did.
(At the Airport)
MARGIE
I'll get that.
MARGIE
Edward! We're here. Come on. Let's get you
sharpened up.
JIM
You got it?
KIM
No, I can't believe this.
(Kim sees Edward coming.)
Do you have a key?
EDWARD
No.
KIM
I could have sworn I put it in here somewhere.
JIM
Well, we're stranded.
(Edward opens the locked door with
his scissorhands.)
KIM
Wow! Thanks.
JIM
Ed, what a guy! Good job. Hey, you didn't break
it or scratch it or anything. Hey, be a pal and
yell when Peg pulls in, huh?
TV HOST
Quite a story, yes? Any questions for Edward?
Yeah, get way over. Stand right up.
WOMAN 1
What's been the best part of your new life here
in town?
EDWARD
The friends I've made.
TV HOST
Any other questions?
WOMAN 2
Have you ever thought of having corrective
surgery or prosthetics? I know a doctor that
might be able to help you.
EDWARD
I'd like to meet him.
TV HOST
We'll give that name after the show. Thank you
very much. That's very nice. Anyone else? Yes,
stand right up.
WOMAN 3
But if you had regular hands you'd be like
everyone else.
EDWARD
Yes, I know.
TV HOST
I think he'd like that.
WOMAN 4
Then no one would think you're special. You
wouldn't be on TV or anything.
PEG
No matter what, Edward will always special.
TV HOST
More questions? Stand right up.
WOMAN 5
Your work is so interesting distinctive and
unique. Do you have plans to open your own
beauty salon?
TV HOST
There's an idea. Anyone else? Yeah.
WOMAN 6
Do you have a girl friend? Ahh.
(Living room in Peg's)
JIM
Sure, he does. Right, Kim?
KIM
Now you got him started.
JIM
Knock it off, bubble- butt.
KEVIN
You did it.
JIM
So?
(On the TV Show)
TV HOST
How about it? Is there some special lady in
your life?
TV HOST
Uh, everything's all right. He'll take a break
and we'll be right back after these messages.
KIM
Why are you laughing? He got hurt.
JIM
It was a little shock. Ha! Ha! Ha!
KIM
A little shock?
JIM
I wish we'd been taping that. I'd give my left
nut to see that again.
(Edward in beauty salon)
JOYCE
Aren't you excited? Oh, this is just so
thrilling. Wait till I show it to you. It's
just perfect. It's just what we've been looking
for. I want to call it "Shear Heaven." Here we
are. No, all along here I'm going to put a row
of new mirrors. Back up here a whole row of new
cosmetics.
(TV 1/4Œ)
All along this row here.
EDWARD
Peg could sell cosmetics.
JOYCE
Sure. This is where I stand when I greet the
customers. Back in here is what I really want
to show you. This is the storeroom for
supplies. What I need from you today is to help
me make a decision. Don't, that's dangerous.
You just sit down right there. I have some
smocks. Would you like me to model them? This
is my favorite because it's yellow. And what
it's for is to catch itchy little trimming that
fall down your neck. Then there's this old
purple one, you know, you kind of drape around
you like this.
EDWARD
I like that one.
JOYCE
You're trembling. So am I. I've been waiting
for this moment for so long. Edward! Edward,
you come back here! You can't do that!
(In the Restaurant)
BILL
Veloro. Veloro. Sweetheart. That hangs on the
dash board.
PEG
I've never seen that.
EDWARD
Sorry I'm late.
PEG
Hi, Edward. Sorry. We had to go ahead without
you. Here you go.
BILL
So, Edward, did you have a productive day?
EDWARD
Mrs. Monroe showed me where the salon is going
to be. You could have a cosmetic counter.
PEG
Wouldn't that be great?
BILL
Great.
EDWARD
And then she showed me the back room where she
took all of her clothes off.
BILL
Edward. I can't tell you how thrilled I am.
I'm just as pleased as Punch. This whole beauty
parlor, that's what's going to teach you
volumes. There's nothing like running your own
business. I've never done it myself, but from
what I gather it's the greatest satisfaction a
working man can have. So I guess the bank is
going to be your next step, huh?
EDWARD
The bank?
BILL
Yeah, take out a loan. Get yourself started.
Nothing to worry about. With your talent and
reputation, it's going to be a snap. Now.
BANK CLERK
No credit, no record of jobs you've held, no
savings, no personal investment, no social
security number. You may as well not even
exist. There is no collateral.
PEG
You know. We already have a second on the
house, but don't the testimonials make a
difference? Did you see here, the mayor's wife
can't wait to become a client?
BANK CLERK
We simply can't do it. Now get yourself a
social security card. Establish credit and buy
yourself a car. You have the side to advantage.
You can get one of those handicapped placards.
No problem. Park anywhere you like.
PEG
I can't believe it. Really, it's just an
outrage. Don't you worry. This isn't the end of
it. We'll get your money somewhere.
KIM
But that's breaking and entering.
JIM
Look. My parents have insurance up the rear.
Okay? And all it will cost them is a little
hassle. That's about it. In a week my dad will
have new and better everything.
KIM
We can't.
JIM
Look. There's a guy who will give us cash for
the stuff.
KIM
Jim, I don't want to.
JIM
Well, do you want to ride around in a van like
Denny's, and we could be by ourselves whenever
we like? With a mattress in the back?
KIM
Why can't you just do it?
JIM
Because my father keeps the damn room locked,
and we need Edward to get us in.
KIM
Why can't you take the key like when he's
sleeping or something?
JIM
Look, you don't understand, everything he
handcuffs or ties will do anything for you.
KIM
What do you mean? That's not true.
JIM
Oh, no? Why don't you ask him?
KIM
That's not fair.
JIM
What's fair got to do with it? There isn't any
other way.
KIM
There got to be.
JIM
Look. I've racked my brain. Don't you want us
to have our own van?
KIM
Yeah. Jim, the lights are on.
JIM
Those go on automatically. They've gone for the
weekend. I told you. That's right.
DENNY
This burglar scared.
KIM
You turned off the alarm. Am I right?
JIM
Yes, everything, come on. Let's go. Come on.
KIM
I can't believe this is happening.
A GIRL
Are you sure he doesn't know this is Jim's
house?
KIM
He's never been here.
EDWARD
This person stole from you?
JIM
Keep your voice down. I told you he stole it.
Right? Come on. Let's go.
EDWARD
His parents will make him give it back.
JIM
Listen, I've already tried that. The guy's
parents are like he is. Okay? Now, you told Kim
you'd do this. Well, come on. Let's go. Come
on. Come on. Come on.
(Edward picks the lock and the
door opens, but when he steps into
the room the alarm works and the
door shuts.)
JIM
The bastard had it wired separately. Come on.
KIM
No, Jim. We can't just leave him here.
POLICEMAN
We know you're in there.
OFFICER ALLEN
We're in the process of deactivating the system
so that you can come out.
KIM
Denny, turn around!
JIM
No way!
KIM
Jim, it's your house. They can't arrest you for
setting off your own alarm. We'll just tell
them we were breaking in.
JIM
I'm not going back there. Okay?
KIM
We have to go back.
JIM
No, because my father will prosecute.
KIM
His own son?
JIM
Especially his own son. If Edward tells, I'll
kill him.
KIM
Denny, turn around.
JIM
No.
KIM
Turn around. We have to.
OFFICER ALLEN
Put your hands high in the air so we can see
them. Put your hands up!
POLICEMAN
(to Allen)
He's got something in his hands. Looks like
knives.
OFFICER ALLEN
Drop your weapon I repeat. Drop your weapon.
I'll ask you one more time and this is your
last warning. Drop your weapon. If you fail to
do so, we'll have to open fire. Don't make us
do that, please. Drop your weapons. Drop them.
Now. Looks like we got a psycho. Prepare to
fire.
(Neighbors gather and ask not to
fire.)
A WOMAN
Please. We know him.
OFFICER ALLEN
Alright, cuff him.
(At police station)
PEG
But can we see him now?
POLICEMAN
We'll have to hold him overnight for
observation.
PEG
He has to stay in prison all night?
POLICEMAN
Pick him up in the morning.
(criminal investigation section in
police station)
PEG
Oh, Edward. Hello Edward, dear. I blame myself.
BILL
(to Edward)
What in god's name was going through your mind,
son?
PEG
Why don't I set a better example? You saw how I
envied Jim's parents, their money.
BILL
What were you going to do with that stuff?
PEG
Oh, I blithely say, "We'll get money for the
salon somehow." But I never meant stealing.
Stealing's not the way to get it. Stealing's
not the way to get anything.
BILL
Except trouble. And you're in a heap of that.
PEG
Why ever did you do this?
OFFICER ALLEN
Will he be okay, Doc?
PSYCHOLOGIST
The years in spent isolation have not equipped
him with the tools necessary to judge right
from wrong. He's had no context. He's been
completely without guidance. Furthermore his
work, the garden sculptures, hair styles, and
so forth. Indicate that he's a highly
imaginative.
OFFICER ALLEN
Character.
PSYCHOLOGIST
It seems clear that his awareness of what we
call reality is radically underdeveloped.
OFFICER ALLEN
But will he be all right out there?
PSYCHOLOGIST
Oh, yeah. He'll be fine.
OFFICER ALLEN
(to Edward)
Listen. It could keep me up all night worrying
about you. Watch yourself.
(roadside)
MARGIE
I heard this noise and ran out in my bathrobe.
JOYCE
All along I felt in my gut. There was something
wrong with him.
MARGIE
It could have been my house.
HELEN
It could have been any of our houses.
ESMERALDA
I warned you, didn't I? I saw the sign of satan
on him. You didn't heed my warning. but now
you will because now you see it too.
(Reporters approach Edward and
Peg.)
PEG
Edward. You stay here.
REPORTER
What do you say in your defense?
EDWARD
Nothing.
PEG
He didn't want to talk.
REPORTER
You have to say something.
PEG
He can't talk right now.
REPORTER
No comments? No remarks?
REPORTER
(to Edward)
So were you set up? What was going through your
mind? One comment.
PEG
We have to get in the house. We don't want to
talk to you. We'll talk to you later.
REPORTER
One comment.
PEG
Well, for goodness sakes, Lois, I'll see you at
our Christmas party. Before I get you here for
your haircut. Of course, we'll have it this
year. Why wouldn't we have it this year? Well,
you may think that, but you're wrong.
KIM
You're here. They didn't hurt you, did they?
Were you scared? I tried to make Jim go back,
but you can't make Jim do anything. Thank you
for not telling them about me.
EDWARD
You are welcome.
KIM
It must have been awful when they told you
whose house it was.
EDWARD
I know it was Jim's house.
KIM
You did?
EDWARD
Yes.
KIM
Well, then why did you do it?
EDWARD
Because you asked me to.
(Jim called out for Kim.)
KIM
Don't.
JIM
What's the matter with you? When you are going
to stop? I did what I could. My old man think
he's retarded, otherwise he'd still be in jail.
What more do you want from me?
KIM
You could tell the truth.
JIM
So could do. You were there, too.
KIM
It wasn't my idea. You know I didn't want to do
it.
JIM
But you did do it. I don't get why you give
such a shit anyway.
BILL
Well, we are going to try to help you find a
way to replace the drapes and the towels, but
our confidence in you, Edward, is not going to
be so easy to replace.
KIM
Dad!
BILL
Okay, a little ethics. You are walking down the
street. You find a suitcase full of money.
There's nobody around. No human person is in
evidence. What do you do? A
You keep the money. B
You use it to buy gifts for your friends and
your loved ones. C
You give it to the poor. D
You turn it into the police.
KIM
That is really stupid.
PEG
Kim!
KEVIN
I keep the money.
PEG
Simmer down.
BILL
Edward?
KIM
Hey, how about after dinner we go down to the
bowling alley? That will be fun.
PEG
You are not seeing Jim tonight?
KIM
No.
KEVIN
You know we had a cool show-and-tell today.
This kid brought in a box of baby possums, 10.
maybe 12. Totally naked. No hair at all.
PEG
Honey, this is fascinating. but I don't think
your father's finished yet.
BILL
Thank you, dear. Edward, we are waiting.
EDWARD
Give it to my loved ones?
PEG
Oh, Edward, it does seem that that's what you
should do, bit it's not.
KEVIN
You dope, everybody knows he's supposed to give
it to the police.
BILL
Good thinking, Kevin.
KIM
Well, think about it, you guys, I mean, that's
the nicer thing to do. That's what I would do.
BILL
We're trying to make things easier for him, so
let's cut the comedy for a little while.
KIM
I am being serious. It's a nicer thing to do.
BILL
We're not talking nice. We're talking right and
wrong.
KIM
Shut up.
PEG
Oh, goodness sake, no wonder poor Edward can't
learn right from wrong living in his family.
(Margie and women on the phone.)
WOMAN 1
Did you hear what he did to Peg's curtains?
MARGIE
It is unbelievable that they're having their
Christmas party anyway. Are you going?
WOMAN 1
Oh, I don't think so.
MARGIE
He practically raped Joyce, you know
threatening her with those knives? It's a
miracle she escaped.
HELEN
I don't have anything against Bill and Peg,
but...
JOYCE
I know, I know. They've got that teenage
daughter in the house. Oh, those poor things
after what happened to me can you imagine?
HELEN
What do you say to Peg about the Christmas
party?
MARGIE
I said I hoped. We'd make it.
HELEN
I lied, too.
(Peg's living room)
PEG
Edward, do you want to give me that new
haircut?
EDWARD
Again?
PEG
yes, sure.
PEG
It makes me proud to have you as my own
personal hairdresser.
KEVIN
Hi, honey. honey.
EDWARD
Kevin, you want to play scissors-paper-stone?
KEVIN
No.
EDWARD
No, why?
KEVIN
It's boring. I'm tired of always winning.
PEG
Other people's feelings?
KEVIN
I'll be outside.
PEG
A few manners? Just never you mind. Just you
cut away. Cut away. It needs something else.
What do you think, honey?
KIM
More bells?
PEG
More bells. Okay.
KIM
Mom, do you really think that we should be
having this party?
PEG
Of course I think we should be having this
party. Of course I do. I mean as just what we
need is just to calm things down and then
everything will just go back to normal. Do you
have any more bells, honey?
(Kim goes out into the garden and
sees Edward sculpture an ice mass.
When he sculptures it, snowflakes
begin to fall, and Kim dances in
the snow. After he finishes it, he
cuts her hand by accident. Then Jim
shows up.)
JIM
Get the hell out of here. Get the hell out! Go.
Freak!
BILL
Edward, where are you going?
KIM
Where is he?
JIM
He tried to hurt you.
KIM
No, he did not and you know it.
JIM
Are you nuts? I just saw him.
KIM
Jim. I don't love you any more. I just want you
to go. Okay? Just go!
JIM
Are you serious? I'm going to lose you to that?
He isn't even human.
KIM
Just get out of here. Okay? Just go! Dad, did
you see where Edward went?
BILL
Well. I don't know. He just walked down the
street.
KIM
Well, we have to go find him, mom?
PEG
You...your father will find him this minute.
BILL
All in the house. I'll take care of it. I'll go
find him.
HELEN
Edward! I'm calling the police!
PEG
All that blood, sweetie, and it's just a little
cut.
(doorbell chimes.)
POLICE
Hello, I'm here to see the man with the hands.
PEG
Oh... Uh...
POLICE
He's not here. Thank you.
PEG
Oh, dear.
MARGIE
Helen, did you actually see him?
HELEN
Yes, look.
ESMERALDA
You see, I told you he was a demon.
MARGIE
Oh, don't start that stuff again.
POLICE
I'm looking for the man with scissors.
WOMEN
He went that way. You have to do something
about that.
POLICE
All right, calm down, go on home. We'll handle.
Just go home.
HELEN
He's a de... a demon.
WOMEN
You've got to do something! All right, Let's
see. If he's at our house come on, oh...
PEG
I'm sure your father will find him soon.
KIM
What time is it?
PEG
It's almost eight thirty. Great party, huh?
KIM
Where are they? God. I hope he's okay!
PEG
So do I, honey. You know, when I brought Edward
down here to live with us, I really didn't
think things through. And I didn't think about
what could happen to him, or to us, or to the
neighborhood. You know, I think that maybe it
might be best if he goes back up there. Because
at least there he's safe, and we'd just go back
to normal.
BILL
Now I got up by the Wiggmans, but I didn't see
him anywhere.
PEG
Oh, dear. Oh, just... Well, let's get in the
car and go look for him.
BILL
Where's Kevin now?
PEG
He's Max'es.
BILL
Where do you think you're going, young lady?
KIM
With you guys.
BILL
No, you're staying here in case somebody shows
up!
PEG
We'll be right back, dear.
EDWARD
Police!
(On seeing a police car Edward
goes back to Peg's)
KIM
Edward?
EDWARD
Are you okay?
KIM
Yes, are you okay?
EDWARD
Where's everybody?
KIM
Out looking for you. Hold me.
EDWARD
I can't.
(Kim holds Edward and Edward
reflects about the inventor.)
INVENTOR
I know it's a little early for Christmas,
Edward, but I have a present for you.
(Kevin comes out of his friend's
house.)
(Jim talks with his friend.)
JIM
Forget holding her hand. Picture the damage he
could do other places.
JIM'S FRIEND
Yeah, that's sick. I feel like I'm coming to
pass out, or puke or something.
JIM
Later, first take me to her house.
JIM'S FRIEND
Come on, don't make me drive.
JIM
Just do it!
JIM'S FRIEND
Jesus, maybe she was right about you.
JIM
Just drive.
JIM'S FRIEND
Relax.
KEVIN
See you tomorrow. Call me, Right?
A MAN
Have they caught him yet?
KEVIN
Who?
A MAN
Him, that cripple. Let me know when they do.
Let us all you know, okay? Like a good boy.
(The car driven by Denny comes
close to run over Kevin. Edward who
sees it saves Kevin but many people
mistakenly think that Edward tries
to kill Kevin. Kim tells Edward to
run, and he runs away. People
follow him to the castle.)
EDWARD
Oh! Are you ok? oh! owh!
KEVIN
Help! Edward help!
EDWARD
I'm your friend.
KEVIN
Stop! Don't! Stop! Get away, now! Somebody help
us! Help!
PEOPLE 1
What are you doing? Get away!
PEOPLE 2
Get the police!
PEOPLE 3
Somebody call the police! Hey
KIM
Let go of me! Why? Kevin!
PEG AND BILL
Kevin! Kevin! Edward! Get away. What happened?
Edward! Go home! Go home!
PEOPLE
Somebody call the police! Aah!
KIM
Jim, stop it. Get off him!
(Siren)
KIM
Run.
PEG
Kevin's all right! It was just the tiniest
scratch! He's gone! Let's not bother him, all
right? Let just leave him alone!
(Gunshots)
POLICE
Go on, run.
PEOPLE
What happened? Did you get him? Ok, Is he dead?
POLICE
It's all over, go on home. There's nothing more
to see. What happened out there? It's all over!
PEOPLE
I want some answers. Where is he?
PEOPLE
Get back here! I want to ask you something. Do
you see him? Wait! I want to ask you... He's in
that car. Look at that.
JOYCE
I don't believe it. They don't have him. I'm
going! No! That's not a good idea!
EDWARD
They are coming? Did I hurt Kevin?
KIM
No, he's okay. He said he was just scared.
Edward, I was so afraid. I thought you were
dead.
JIM
I didn't.
(Jim fires at Edward and Kim tries
to stop him. In their fight, Edward
kills Jim, and then says good-by to
Kim.)
KIM
Jim. Stop! Stop it, or I'll kill you myself.
JIM
Hey! I said stay away from her!
(Neighbor's voice)
EDWARD
Goodbye!
KIM
I love you.
A MAN
Is he in there?
KIM
He's dead. The roof caved in on him. They
killed each other. You can see for yourselves.
(She raises a pair of scissors.)
OLD KIM
She never saw him again. Not after that night.
GRANDDAUGHTER
How do you know?
OLD KIM
Because I was there.
GRANDDAUGHTER
You could have gone up there. You still could
go.
OLD KIM
No, sweetheart. I'm an old woman now. I would
rather want him remember me the way as I was.
GRANDDAUGHTER
How do you know he's still alive.
OLD KIM
I don't know. Not for sure. But I believe he
is. You see, before he came down here, it never
snowed. And afterwards it did. If he weren't up
there now, I don't think it would be snowing.
Sometimes you can still catch me dancing in it.
|
