FEAR & LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS
FEAR & LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS
by
Terry Gilliam & Toy Grisoni
BLACK SCREEN
A desert wind moans sadly. From somewhere within the wind
comes the tinkly, syrupy-sweet sounds of the Lennon Sisters
singing "My Favorite Things." A series of sepia images of
anti-war protests from the mid-sixties appear one after
another on the screen.
In the violently scrawled style of Ralph Steadman, the title
FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS splashes onto the screen. A
beat, and then it runs down and off revealing:
TITLE: "He who makes a beast of himself
Gets rid of the pain
Of being a man."
Dr. Johnson
The VOICE OF HUNTER S. THOMPSON -- a.k.a. RAOUL DUKE:
DUKE (V/O)
We were somewhere around Barstow on
the edge of the desert when the
drugs began to take hold.
AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
A red Chevy convertible -- THE RED SHARK -- wipes the black
screen.
EXT. ON THE ROAD TO LAS VEGAS - DAY
AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
THE RED SHARK races down the desert highway at a hundred
miles an hour. THE STONES' "Sympathy For the Devil" blares.
AT THE WHEEL
STRANGELY STILL AND TENSE, RAOUL DUKE DRIVES -- SKELETAL,
BEER IN HAND -- STARES STRAIGHT AHEAD.
BESIDE HIM, FACE TURNED TO THE SUN, EYES CLOSED BEHIND
WRAPAROUND SPANISH SUNGLASSES, IS HIS SWARTHY AND UNNERVINGLY
UNPREDICTABLE ATTORNEY, DR. GONZO.
The music pounds DUKE stares straight ahead. GONZO froths
up a can of beer - uses it as shaving foam.
DUKE (V/O)
I remember saying something like:
"I feel a bit lightheaded. Maybe
you should drive..."
GONZO starts shaving.
2.
DUKE (V/O)
Suddenly there was a terrible roar
all around us and the sky was full
of what looked like huge bats, all
swooping and screeching and diving
around the car...
Close on DUKE -- shadows flutter across his face. The
reflections of bats swirl within his eyes. We push in close
to one eye ball -- SCREECHING SWIRLING BAT-LIKE SHAPES!
AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
DUKE (V/O)
... and a voice was screaming: Holy
Jesus! What are these goddamn
animals?
CUT TO WIDE SHOT OF CAR -
DUKE, eyes rigid, flails at the air. No bats anywhere.
GONZO casually looks over...
GONZO
What are you yelling about?
DUCK SCREECHES to the side of the road. The sudden wrench
makes GONZO nick his face with his razor.
DUKE
Never mind. It's your turn to drive.
DUKE (V/O)
No point mentioning these bats. I
thought. The poor bastard will see
them soon enough.
DUKE hops out of the car, keeping an eye out for bats,
frantically opens the trunk to reveal what looks like A
MOBILE POLICE NARCOTICS LAB. DUKE desperately rifles
through the impressive stash.
DUKE (V/O)
We had two bags of grass, seventy-
five pellets of mescaline, five
sheets of high powered blotter
acid, a salt shaker half full of
cocaine, a whole galaxy of multi-
colored uppers, downers, screamers,
laughers... Also a quart of tequila,
a quart of rum, a case of beer, a
pint of raw ether and two dozen
amyls.
3.
DUKE, eyes darting madly as he hears what sounds like the
SHRIEKS OF BATS returning, grabs an assortment along with
another six-pack of beer - slams the trunk shut and dives
back into the car.
DUKE (V/O)
Not that we needed all that for the
trip, but once you get locked into
a serious drug collection, the
tendency is to push it as far as
you can.
THE RED SHARK RACES INTO THE DISTANCE... on the ground,
weakly flapping is a SEMI-SQUASHED, SLOWLY DYING ANIMAL... A
BAT?
EXT. FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD TO LAS VEGAS - DAY
IN THE RED SHARK
GONZO grips the wheel - stares maniacally down the road - a
lousy driver.
DUKE (V/O)
The only thing that really worried
me was the ether. There is nothing
in the world more helpless and
irresponsible and depraved than a
man in the depths of an ether binge.
And I knew we'd get into that
rotten stuff pretty soon.
The radio news wars with "SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL" on a tape
recorder.
RADIO NEWS
An overdose of heroin was listed as
the official cause of death for
pretty 19 year old Diane Hanby
whose body was found stuffed in a
refrigerator last week...
GONZO changes the station - "ONE TOKE OVER THE LINE, SWEET
JESUS, ONE TOKE OVER THE LINE" vies with "SYMPATHY"... He
sings along - washes a couple of pills back with a new beer.
The RED SHARK fishtails.
GONZO
"One toke over the line, sweet
Jesus."
4.
DUKE
(muttering to himself)
One toke. You poor fool. Wait
till you see those goddamn bats.
UP AHEAD - AT THE SIDE OF THE DESERTED ROAD
A LONE HITCHHIKER spots them, jumps up and sticks out a
thumb. The RED SHARK roars past. Then, fifty yards down
the road...
GONZO
Let's give that boy a lift.
GONZO wrenches the wheel - THE RED SHARK swerves to the side
of the road.
DUKE
We can't stop here - this is bat
country!
GONZO JAMS THE CAR INTO REVERSE AND ROCKETS BACKWARDS. The
HITCHHIKER races to the car. A poor OKIE KID with a big grin.
HITCHHIKER
Hot damn! I never rode in a
convertible before!
Then the big grin freezes on the OKIE KID's face at the
sight of: DUKE and GONZO looking out at him with HYPER-
NORMAL, shit-eating SMILES.
DUKE
Is that right? Well, I guess
you're about ready, eh?
The HITCHHIKER hesitates.
GONZO
We're your friends. We're not like
the others.
DUKE
(hissing sharply)
No more of that talk or I'll put
the leeches on you.
DUKE turns back to the HITCHHIKER - smiles reassuringly.
EXT. EVEN FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD TO LAS VEGAS - DAY
The HITCHHIKER sits nervously in the back seat as the RED
SHARK screams down the road.
5.
GONZO sings along to the tape player.
The HITCHHIKER's eyes go to the door - considers jumping out
and taking his chances.
DUKE, sweating bullets, STARES AT THE HITCHHIKER in the rear
view mirror.
DUKE (V/O)
How long could we maintain, I
wondered. How long before one of
us starts raving and jabbering at
this boy? What will he think then?
This same lonely desert was the
last known home of the Manson family.
The HITCHHIKER's eyes notice a thin line of blood trickling
down GONZO's neck.
DUKE (V/O)
Would he make that grim connection
when my attorney starts screaming
about bats and huge manta rays
coming down on the car?
DUKE's mouth moves intermittently - sometimes in sync with
the words, sometimes not.
DUKE (V/O)
If so - well, we'll just have to
cut his head off and bury him
somewhere. Because it goes without
saying that we can't turn him loose.
He'd report us at once to some kind
of outback Nazi law enforcement
agency, and they'll run us down
like dogs...
DUKE
(out loud to himself)
Jesus! Did I say that?
DUKE (V/O)
Or just think it? Was I talking?
Did they hear me?
GONZO
(reassuringly to HITCHHIKER)
It's okay. He's admiring the shape
of your skull.
DUKE gives the HITCHHIKER a FINE BIG GRIN and the HITCHHIKER
giggles nervously.
6.
DUKE (V/O)
Maybe I better have a chat with
this boy I thought. Perhaps if I
explain things, he'll rest easy...
DUKE
(roaring over the
road noise)
THERE'S ONE THING YOU SHOULD
PROBABLY UNDERSTAND --
The HITCHHIKER stares at him, not blinking.
DUKE
(yells)
CAN YOU HEAR ME?
The HITCHHIKER nods -- giggles -- terrified. DUKE climbs
into the back seat.
DUKE
That's good. Because I want you to
have all the background. This is a
very ominous assignment -- with
overtones of extreme personal
danger. I'm a Doctor of Journalism!
This is important, goddamnit! This
is a true story!...
(WHACKS the BACK OF
THE DRIVER'S SEAT
with his fist)
The CAR SWERVES SICKENINGLY, then straightens out.
GONZO
(screams)
Keep your hands off my fucking neck!
The HITCHHIKER makes a sudden lunge for freedom. DUKE GRABS
HIM BACK DOWN.
DUKE (V/O)
Our vibrations were getting nasty --
but why? Was there no communication
in this car? Had we deteriorated
to the level of dumb beasts?
The HITCHHIKER STRUGGLES IN PANIC.
7.
DUKE
(to HITCHHIKER)
I want you to understand that this
man at the wheel is my attorney!
He's not just some dingbat I found
on the Strip. He's a foreigner. I
think he's probably Samoan. But it
doesn't matter, does it? Are you
prejudiced?
HITCHHIKER
Hell, no!
DUKE
I didn't think so. Because in
spite of his race, this man is
extremely valuable to me. Hell, I
forgot all about this beer. You
want one?
(HITCHHIKER shakes
his head)
How about some ether?
HITCHHIKER
What?
DUKE
Never mind. Let's get right to the
heart of this thing. Twenty-four
hours ago we were sitting in the
Pogo Lounge of the Beverly Wills
Hotel...
INT. THE BEVERLY WILLS HOTEL POGO LOUNGE 1971 - DAY
A uniformed DWARF, carries a shockingly PINK TELEPHONE
through the glittering, tranquil POGO LOUNGE CROWD. They
are the ELOI. HENDRIX AFROS and DROOPING MUSTACHES and BELL
BOTTOMS and LOVE BEADS and BELLS. ACTRESSES sip Singapore
Slings and PROMOTERS sip ACTRESSES in this MONIED, SANITISED
VERSION OF THE GREAT REVOLUTION YEARS.
DUKE (V/O)
... in the patio section, of
course, drinking Singapore Slings
with mescal on the side, hiding
from the brutish realities of this
foul year of Our Lord, 1971.
The DWARF reaches DUKE -- T-shirt, levis, sneakers and
shades. GONZO -- white rayon bellbottoms and a khaki tank
top undershirt. They are in the middle of a serious
conversation.
8.
DUKE
I'm telling you, the Salazar story
is getting too complicated. The
weasels have started closing in.
The DWARF sneers.
DWARF
Perhaps this is the call you've
been waiting for all this time,
sir...
DUKE lifts the receiver -- listens...
DUKE
Uh-huh... Uh-huh... Uh-huh...
DUKE hangs up the PHONE with the DEAD-PAN EXPRESSION OF A
MOVIE SPY.
DWARF
That was headquarters. They want
me to go to Las Vegas at once and
make contact with a Portuguese
photographer named Lacerda. He'll
have the details. All I have to do
is check into my sound proof suite
and he'll seek me out.
GONZO, says nothing for a moment, then POUNDS the table!
GONZO
God hell! I think I see the
pattern! This one sounds like real
trouble! You're going to need
plenty of legal advice before this
thing is over. As your attorney I
must advise you that you'll need a
very fast car with no top and after
that, the cocaine. And then the
tape recorder, for special music,
and some Acapulco shirts...
(GONZO tucks his
khaki undershirt into
his white
bellbottoms -- he
means business!)
This blows my weekend, because
naturally I'll have to go with
you -- and we'll have to arm
ourselves.
9.
DUKE
Why not? If a thing's worth doing,
it's worth doing right.
DUKE and GONZO are up and off. The DWARF chases after them
with the (very large) check in his hand.
They sweep out through the Lounge door, unaware of it
swinging back into the face of the pursuing DWARF.
DUKE
I tell you, my man. This is the
American Dream in action! We'd be
fools not to ride this strange
torpedo all the way to the end.
GONZO
Indeed. We must do it. What kind
of story is this?
EXT. BEVERLY WILLS HOTEL - FRONT ENTRANCE - DAY
DUKE and GONZO emerge.
DUKE
The Mint 400! The richest off-road
race for motorcycles and dune-
buggies in the history of organized
sport!
(handing parking
ticket to Valet)
-- a fantastic spectacle in honor
of some fatback grossero who owns
the luxurious Mint Hotel in the
heart of downtown Vegas... at least
that's what the press release says.
Their car arrives -- rusted out, smashed door panels. They
jump in.
DUKE
We're going to have to drum it up
on our own. Pure Gonzo Journalism.
And they're off in a cloud of black exhaust as the nose-
bleeding DWARF stumbles out with the unpaid bill in his hand.
EXT. SUNSET BLVD - DAY
The PINTO races through shot.
DUKE (V/O)
Getting hold of the drugs and
shirts had been no problem...
10.
EXT. POLYNESIAN BAR - DAY
The PINTO skids to a halt outside Polynesian bar, the back
window full of Hawaiian shirts.
DUKE (V/O CONT'D)
... but the car and tape recorder
were not easy things to round up at
6:30 on a Friday afternoon in
Hollywood.
INT. POLYNESIAN BAR - DAY
TORN YELLOW PAGES with dealer's ads ticked off lie in a pile
as GONZO yells into a PAYPHONE. DUKE carries over four
Singapore Slings.
GONZO
O.K., O.K., yes. Hang onto it.
We'll be there in thirty minutes.
(to DUKE -- hand over
the PHONE)
I finally located a car with
adequate horsepower and the proper
coloring.
(into PHONE)
What?! OF COURSE the gentleman has
a major credit card! Do you
realize who the fuck you're talking
to?
DUKE
Don't take any guff from these
swine.
(GONZO slams the
phone down)
Now we need a sound store with the
finest equipment. Nothing dinky.
One of those new Belgian Heliowatts
with a voice-activated shotgun
mike, for picking up conversations
in oncoming cars.
GONZO
We won't make the nut unless we
have unlimited credit.
DUKE
We will. You Samoans are all the
same. You have no faith in the
essential decency of the white
man's culture.
11.
EXT. SUNSET BLVD - DUSK
The PINTO races down street.
DUKE (V/O)
The store was closed, but the
salesman said he would wait, if we
hurried...
EXT. SUNSET BLVD - TRAFFIC JAM - DUSK
They're stuck in a traffic jam -- clouds of exhaust. DUKE
BANGS ON THE HORN IN FURY.
DUKE (V/O)
But we were delayed en route when a
Stingray in front of us killed a
pedestrain.
Directly in front of them: BLOODY CARNAGE -- a covered
corpse is loaded into an ambulance by PARAMEDICS.
EXT. CAR RENTAL AGENCY - NIGHT
DUKE (V/O)
We had trouble, again, at the car
rental agency.
Behind the wheel of the RED SHARK: DUKE grins with
satisfaction -- checking it out. A nervous AGENT holds out
a clipboard. DUKE signs without looking at the rental papers.
AGENT
Say... uh... you fellas are going
to be careful with this car, aren't
you?
DUKE
Of course.
DUKE throws the car into reverse -- roars backwards past the
gas pumps to where GONZO is unloading their rusted out car.
AGENT
Well, good god! You just backed
over that two foot concrete abutment
and you didn't even slow down!
Forty-five in reverse! And you
barely missed the pump!
DUKE
No harm done. I always test the
transmission that way. The rear
end. For stress factors.
12.
GONZO transfers boxes of new sound equipment and a large box
of rum and ice into the RED SHARK.
AGENT
Say. Are you fellows drinking?
DUKE
Not me. We're responsible people.
He JAMS the car into LOW GEAR and lurches into traffic. The
AGENT runs into the street and helplessly watches them go.
GONZO
There's another worrier. He's
probably all cranked up on speed.
EXT. RUNDOWN BEACH HOUSE - NIGHT
STRANGE AND MAGICAL. In the moonlight: the silhouetted
figures of DUKE and GONZO as they pack the RED SHARK.
DUKE (V/O)
We spent the rest of that night
rounding up materials and packing
the car. Then we ate some mescaline
and went swimming.
The surf crashes in the distance...
EXT. PACIFIC OCEAN - NIGHT
DUKE cries out as he dives into the ocean. He lets himself
float up through the silvery bubbles...
DUKE AND GONZO FLOAT BEATIFICALLY IN THE GLOWING, SHIMMERING
MOONLIT SURF.
DUKE (V/O)
Our trip was different. It was to
be a classic affirmation of
everything right and true in the
national character; a gross,
physical salute to the fantastic
possibilities of life in this
country. But only for those with
true grit...
EXT. AND EVEN FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD TO LAS VEGAS - DAY
DUKE's intense face.
DUKE
...and we're chock full of that!
13.
GONZO
Damn right!
DUKE
My attorney understands this
concept, despite his racial handicap.
But do you?!
The HITCHHIKER nods -- giggles -- petrified.
DUKE (V/O)
He said he understood, but I could
see in his eyes that he didn't. He
was lying to me.
GONZO
My heart!
GONZO clutches his heart. The car veers off the road and
screeches to a halt. He slumps over the wheel.
GONZO (CONT'D)
Where's the medicine?
DUKE
The medicine? Yes, it's right here.
DUKE spills out 4 AMYL CAPSULES from a tin.
DUKE
Don't worry, this man has a bad
heart... Angina Pectoris. But we
have a cure for it.
DUKE and GONZO break 2 AMYLS apiece -- INHALE DEEPLY. GONZO
falls back on the seat, staring straight up at the sun. The
HITCHHIKER looks petrified.
GONZO
(suddenly flailing
his naked arms at the sky)
Turn up the fucking music! My
heart feels like an alligator!
Volume! Clarity! Bass! We must
have bass! What's wrong with us?
Are you goddamn old ladies?
DUKE
(turns up music to
full volume)
You scurvy shyster bastard! Watch
your language! You're talking to a
Doctor of Journalism!
14.
GONZO
(laughing uncontrollably)
What the fuck are we doing out here?
Somebody call the police! We need
help!
DUKE
(to HITCHHIKER)
Pay no attention to this swine. He
can't handle the medicine.
(he begins laughing)
GONZO
(to the HITCHHIKER)
The truth is we're going to Vegas
to croak a scag baron named Savage
Henry. I've known him for years
but he ripped us off -- and you
know what that means, right?
GONZO pulls out a .357 Magnum -- waves it around.
GONZO (CONT'D)
Savage Henry has cashed his check!
We're going to rip his lungs out!
DUKE
And eat them! That bastard won't
get away with this! What's going
on in this country when a scum
sucker like that can get away with
sandbagging a Doctor of Journalism?
GONZO cracks ANOTHER AMYL.
The HITCHHIKER SCRAMBLES OUT OF THE CAR, DOWN THE TRUNK LID,
AND FLEES.
HITCHHIKER
Thanks for the ride. Thanks a lot.
I like you guys. Don't worry about
me.
DUKE
(yells)
Wait a minute! Come back and have
a beer!
The HITCHHIKER RUNS from car.
15.
GONZO
Good riddance. That boy made me
nervous. Did you see his eyes?
(laughing)
Jesus, this is good medicine.
DUKE glances back at the running HITCHHIKER.
DUKE
(suddenly clambering
into the front seat)
Move over!! We have to get out of
California before that kid finds a
cop!
DUKE GUNS THE RED SHARK -- TAKES OFF DOWN THE ROAD...
EXT. UNBELIEVABLY FAR DOWN THE ROAD TO LAS VEGAS - DAY
THE RED SHARK races -- DUKE at the wheel -- straight ahead
driving.
DUKE (V/O)
It was absolutely imperative that
we get to the Mint Hotel before the
deadline for press registration.
Otherwise, we might have to pay for
our suite.
GONZO wrestles with a shaker of COCAINE. The top comes off
and the powder swirls away on the wind.
GONZO
Oh, Jesus! Did you see what god
just did to us?
DUKE
God didn't do that! You did it!
You're a fucking narcotics agent,
that was our cocaine, you pig!
GONZO
(waving his .357
Magnum at Duke)
You better be careful. Plenty of
vultures out here. They'll pick
your bones clean before morning.
DUKE
You whore!
GONZO tears up a BLOTTER OF ACID.
16.
GONZO
Here -- chew this. It's your half
of the acid.
DUKE takes his half -- chews it.
DUKE
How long do I have?
GONZO
Maybe thirty more minutes. As your
attorney, I advise you to drive at
top speed. It'll be a goddamn
miracle if we can get there before
you turn into a wild animal. Are
you ready for that? Checking into
a Vegas hotel under a phony name
with intent to commit capital fraud
and a head full of acid.
DUKE (V/O)
Thirty minutes. It was going to be
very close.
The RED SHARK screams along the highway past a billboard:
"DON'T GAMBLE WITH MARIJUANA! \ IN NEVADA: POSSESSION - 20
YEARS; SALE - LIFE!!"
EXT. LAS VEGAS MINT HOTEL - DUSK
The RED SHARK pulls up outside the MINT. A great banner
spanning the street announces the MINT 400.
DUKE can feel the drug surging up inside him. Clutching a
buckled beer can, sweat pouring, he stares fixedly at the
TICKET the ATTENDANT gives him.
DUKE
I need this, right?
ATTENDANT
I'll remember your face.
DUKE stares -- losing it...
DUKE (V/O)
There is no way of explaining the
terror I felt.
INT. HOTEL LOBBY - DAY
DUKE waits in line at the front desk -- RIGID WITH PENT UP
ENERGY. GONZO's ahead of him -- muscling in -- trying to
queue jump and failing.
17.
DUKE (V/O)
I was pouring sweat. My blood is
too thick for Nevada. I've never
been able to properly explain
myself in this climate.
A COUPLE move off and DUKE jerks forward -- stops -- eyes
fixed on the stony FEMALE RESERVATIONS CLERK.
DUKE (V/O CONT'D)
Be quiet, be calm... name, rank,
and press affiliation, nothing
else...
DUKE moves ANOTHER RIGID STEP CLOSER to the desk -- the
tension almost snapping him in two. GONZO's FLAPPING
AROUND -- absolutely no success.
Something catches DUKE's eye... He REMAINS ROOTED -- his
eyes turning to the VEGETAL PAISLEY PATTERNS ON THE CARPET
WHICH ARE SHIFTING -- UNDULATING. THE CARPET PATTERNS ARE
INEXORABLY CREEPING UP THE WALLS...
DUKE (V/O CONT'D)
...ignore this terrible drug,
pretend it's not happening...
The LAST PEOPLE leave -- with A FINAL, STIFF MOVE, DUKE
comes face to face with the RESERVATIONS CLERK... AND
EXPLODES!
DUKE
HI THERE. MY NAME... AH, RAOUL
DUKE... ON... ON THAT LIST, THAT'S
FOR SURE. FREE LUNCH, FINAL
WISDOM, TOTAL COVERAGE... WHY NOT?
I HAVE MY ATTORNEY WITH ME, AND I
REALIZE OF COURSE...
As DUKE stares at her, BABBLING, her FACE BEGINS TO MORPH.
He tries to stop it happening by TALKING FASTER.
DUKE
... THAT HIS NAME IS NOT ON THE
LIST, BUT WE MUST HAVE THAT SUITE.
YES. JUST CHECK THE LIST AND
YOU'LL SEE. DON'T WORRY. WHAT'S
THE SCORE HERE? WHAT'S NEXT?
DUKE sags -- grips the desk -- WHITE KNUCKLES.
18.
RESERVATIONS CLERK
(hands him an envelope)
Your suite's not ready yet. But
there's somebody looking for you.
Her face is CHANGING -- SWELLING -- PULSING...
DUKE
(shouts)
NO! WHY? WE HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING
YET!
The FACE OF THE RESERVATIONS CLERK TURNS GREEN & GROWS FANGS.
DEADLY POISON! DUKE LUNGES BACK at GONZO, who GRIPS his arm
intensely -- REACHES OUT to take the ENVELOPE.
GONZO
I can handle this. This man has a
bad heart, but I have plenty of
medicine. My name is Dr. Gonzo.
Prepare our suite at once. We'll
be in the bar.
GONZO manoeuvres DUKE away from the desk. DUKE looks
back -- the RESERVATIONS CLERKS is now a MORAY EEL -- green
jowls and fangs.
INT. NAUTICAL BAR - DAY
The bar -- OILY PEOPLE -- quiet music -- nautical theme.
DUKE and GONZO at the bar, a marlin spike hanging on the
wall behind them. DUKE has turned to stone...
GONZO
(to the bartender)
Two Cuba Libres with beer and
mescal on the side.
(opens the envelope)
Who's Lacerda, he's waiting for us
in a room on the twelfth floor?
DUKE
Lacerda?
DUKE (V/O)
I couldn't remember. The name rang
a bell, but I couldn't concentrate.
Terrible things were happening all
around us...
DUKE is staring -- RAPT -- TERRIFIED. BLOOD FLOWS FREELY
onto the floor. DUKE keeps his voice low.
19.
DUKE
Order some golf shoes. Otherwise,
we'll never get out of this place
alive. It's impossible to walk in
this muck -- no footing at all...
DUKE looks up -- GONZO has disappeared.
DUKE looks around him -- the entire room has TRANSFORMED
into a ROOM FILLED WITH REPTILES IN CLOTHES, DRINKING AND
GNAWING AT ONE ANOTHER.
DUKE (V/O)
I was right in the middle of a
fucking reptile zoo. And somebody
was giving booze to these goddamn
things! It won't be long before
they tear us to shreds!
GONZO IS SUDDENLY BACK -- AT DUKE'S SHOULDER.
GONZO
If you think we're in trouble now
wait until you see what's happening
in the elevators.
GONZO removes his sunshades and we see he's been crying...
as he speaks he seems to be floating. Duke struggles to
keep him in his line of vision.
GONZO
I just went upstairs to see this
man Lacerda. I told him I knew
what he was up to...
(GONZO rallies --
turns fierce)
He says he's a photographer! But
when I mentioned Savage Henry he
freaked! He knows we're onto him!
DUKE
But what about our room? And the
golf shoes?
A GROUP OF REPTILES AT A TABLE ACROSS THE ROOM stares at
them, BLOOD DRIPPING FROM THEIR FANGS.
DUKE (CONT'D)
(grabbing GONZO
trying to hold him still)
Holy shit! Look at that bunch over
there! They've spotted us!
20.
Cut to wider shot -- DUKE is holding on to a man standing
next to him at the bar. The room has returned to normality.
GONZO is sitting in his original position.
GONZO
(downs his drink --
gets up)
That's the press table. Where you
have to sign in for our credentials.
Shit, let's get it over with. You
handle that, and I'll check on the
room.
DUKE
No, no. Don't leave me!
Black screen.
INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - DUSK
A TELEVISION shows the NIGHTLY NEWS. A BUDDHIST MONK,
protesting the war, sets himself on fire. A very nervous
BELL BOY is laying out GONZO's order. A marlin spike is on
the floor next to DUKE.
BELL BOY
Four club sandwiches, four shrimp
cocktails.
DUKE
There's a big... machine in the
sky... some kind of electric snake...
DUKE is curled by the window -- MESMERIZED by an unseen neon
sign outside the window. His eyes fill with a million
colored lights.
BELL BOY
... a quart of rum...
DUKE
... coming straight at us.
GONZO
Shoot it.
DUKE
Not yet. I want to study its habits.
BELL BOY
... and nine fresh grapefruit.
21.
GONZO
Vitamin C. We'll need all we can
get.
GONZO sees the BELL BOY out the door -- turns and lays into
DUKE.
GONZO
Look, you've got to stop this talk
about snakes and leeches and
lizards and that stuff. It's
making me sick!
DUKE stares -- hears the drone of B52 BOMBERS...
On TV: The LAOS INVASION -- A SERIES OF HORRIFYING
DISASTERS -- EXPLOSIONS AND TWISTED WRECKAGE.
Newsreel footage of MAI LAI MASSACRE and the LIEUTENANT
CALLEY court-martial.
DUKE
What are you talking about?
GONZO
You bastard! They'll never let us
back in that place. I leave you
alone for three minutes and you
start waving that goddamn marlin
spike around -- yelling about
reptiles! You scared the shit out
of those people! They were ready
to call the cops. Hell, the only
reason they gave us press passes
was to get you out of there...
A knock at the door. DUKE and GONZO break out in a sweat.
DUKE
Oh my God! Who's that?!
GONZO STICKS HIS GUN IN HIS WAISTBAND -- opens the door to
LACERDA -- BOUNCING WITH PUPPY DOG ENTHUSIASM. GONZO stares
at a man he instantly hates -- watches him with deep
suspicion.
LACERDA
Duke? I'm Lacerda your photographer.
Got your press passes? Good, good.
Too bad you missed the bikes
checking in. My, what a sight!
DUKE watches the B-52S DROP THEIR BOMB LOADS.
22.
Looking down to the thick, patterned carpet, DUKE sees the
BOMBS EXPLODE like vicious flowers.
DUKE looks up: LACERDA is a war photographer -- bruised,
filthy and blood spattered. LACERDA approaches him --
talking a foreign language.
LACERDA
Husquavarnas. Yamahas. Kawaskis.
Maicos. Pursang. Swedish Fireballs.
Couple of Triumphs, here and there
a CZ. All very fast. What a race
it's gonna be.
DUKE screws up his eyes -- WILLS NORMALITY BACK. LACERDA is
now just a keen photographer.L
LACERDA
Well, we start at dawn. Get a good
night's sleep. I know I will.
And with a cheerful wave, he's gone. DUKE is in shock.
DUKE
(weakly)
That's good...
GONZO
I think he's lying to us. I could
see it in his eyes.
DUKE
(even weaker)
They'll probably have a big net for
us when we show up.
DUKE's attention returns to the devastation on the TV...
GONZO
Turn that shit off!
GONZO kills the TV.
Black screen.
DUKE (V/O)
Never lose sight of the primary
responsibility. Cover the story.
But what was the story? Nobody had
bothered to say.
23.
EXT. DESERT - DAWN
Against A BIG ORANGE SUN, on a concrete slab, MEN FIRE
SHOTGUNS into the dawn sky. Clay pigeons shatter. The Mint
Gun Club.
Next to them, MOTORCYCLES REV -- preparing for the MINT 400
RACE: A hundred BIKERS, MECHANICS and assorted MOTORSPORT
TYPES milling around in the pit area; taping headlights,
topping off oil in the forks, last minute bolt tightening.
DUKE wanders through.
DUKE (V/O)
The racers were ready at dawn.
Very tense. But the race didn't
start until nine so we had three
long hours to kill.
A sign by a long trestle table: "KOFFEE & DONUTS." DUKE
walks past -- ignoring the SMILING LADY behind the stall.
DUKE (V/O CONT'D)
Those of us who had been up all
night were in no mood for coffee
and donuts. We wanted strong drink.
We were, after all, the Absolute
Cream of the National Sporting
Press and we were gathered here, in
Las Vegas, for a very special
assignment. And when it comes to
things like this you don't fool
around.
INT. RACE BAR TENT - DAY
A real pit of iniquity. Slot Machines. Crap tables. Smoke.
Drunken shouting. The absolute cream of the NATIONAL
SPORTING PRESS.
DUKE is at the bar, engaged in drunken conversation with a
LIFE REPORTER...showing him his notebook.
DUKE
See..."Kill the body and the head
will die"... the Frazier/Ali fight...
MAGAZINE REPORTER
A proper end to the 60's... Ali
beaten by a human hamburger!
DUKE
And both Kennedy's murdered by
mutants.
24.
A SHOUT goes up from outside. The sound of engines revving.
REPORTER
That's it! They're starting!
In a sudden rush the PRESS CROWD make for the door taking
DUKE with them.
EXT. DESERT - DAY
MOTORCYCLES REV -- tension builds...
A flag goes down. The CROWD cheers. The MOTORCYCLES ROAR
AWAY. A great cloud of dust goes up -- obscuring the RACERS
as they disappear into the desert...
A moment...
REPORTER
Well, that's that. They'll be back
in an hour or so. Let's go back to
the bar.
The CROWD turns and streams back into the tent.
INT. RACE BAR TENT - DAY
DUKE heads for the bar along with the REST. It's packed.
Drinks are ordered.
A shout from outside the tent goes up:
VOICE OFF
Group 2!
The CROWD rushes for the door. DUKE gets swept along.
EXT. DESERT - DAY
MOTORCYCLES REV. A flag goes down. The CROWD cheers. The
MOTORCYCLES ROAR AWAY. Another great cloud of dust goes up...
The CROWD head back for the bar.
INT. RACE BAR TENT - DAY
The CROWD surge back to the bar.
VOICE OFF
Group 3!
This time DUKE fights his way free of the CROWD.
25.
DUKE (V/O)
There was something like 190 more
bikes waiting to start. They were
due to go off 10 at a time every 2
minutes.
DUKE hits the bar.
DUKE
Beer!
A middle-aged HOODLUM in a T-shirt booms up to the bar.
HOODLUM
God damn! What day is this --
Saturday?
DUKE
More like Sunday.
HOODLUM
Hah! That's a bitch, ain't it?
Last night I was home in Long Beach
and somebody said they were runnin'
the Mint 400 today, so I says to my
old lady, "Man, I'm goin'." So she
gives me a lot of crap about it, so
I start slappin' her around, and
the next thing you know two guys I
never seen before are beating me
stupid.
VOICE OFF
Group 4!
Outside, another batch of motorcycles roar away -- kicking
up more clouds of dust.
HOODLUM
Then they gave me ten bucks, put me
on a bus, and when I woke up here I
was in downtown Vegas, and for a
minute all I could think was, "O
Jesus, who's divorcing me this
time?" But then I remembered, by
God! I was here for the Mint 400.
And, man, I tell you, it's wonderful
to be here. Just wonderful to be
here with you people.
A silence. A MAGAZINE REPORTER lunges across the bar --
grabs the BARTENDER.
26.
MAGAZINE REPORTER
Senzaman wassyneeds!
DUKE
(smacks the bar with
his palm)
Hell yes! Bring us ten!
VOICE OFF
Group 5!
MAGAZINE REPORTER
(screams)
I'll back it!
(slides off his stool
to the floor)
Outside, motorcycles roar away. The dust cloud billows into
the tent -- getting denser.
MAGAZINE REPORTER (CONT'D)
(on the floor)
This is a magic moment in sport!
It may never come again! I once
did the Triple Crown, but it was
nothing like this.
A FROG-EYED WOMAN claws at the MAGAZINE REPORTER, tries to
haul him up.
FROG-EYED WOMAN
Please stand up! You're a
correspondent for a major national
magazine who's name we can't get
clearance for! Please! You'd be a
very handsome man if you'd just
stand up!
MAGAZINE REPORTER
Listen, madam. I'm damn near
intolerably handsome down here
where I am. You'd go crazy if I
stood up!
A feverishly eager LACERDA appears out of the dust cloud, 3
cameras slung round his neck.
LACERDA
Club soda, please.
FROG-EYED WOMAN
(to MAGAZINE REPORTER)
Please! I love Life!
27.
LACERDA
(to DUKE)
Man, it's great out there!
DUKE
Lunatics.
LACERDA grins.
VOICE OFF
Group 6!
LACERDA
Meet you outside!
LACERDA downs his drink -- hurries out through the crowd and
out into the cloud of dust.
EXT. DESERT - DAY
Nothing. Except for a THICK CLOUD OF DUST.
Barely visible, a motorcycle comes speeding into the pits.
The RIDER staggers off his bike. The PIT CREW gas it up and
sends it back with a FRESH RIDER.
DUKE watches him disappear back into the dust cloud.
DUKE (V/O)
By 10 they were spread out all over
the course. It was no longer a
race, now it was an Endurance
Contest. The idea of trying to
"cover this race" in any
conventional press sense was absurd.
A HORN HONKS. A shiny BLACK BRONCO with DRIVER. LACERDA
hangs out of the window.
LACERDA
It's great, isn't it?! Jump in!
DUKE gets into the Bronco and they head into the DUST CLOUD.
EXT. DESERT - DAY
IN THE BRONCO.
DUKE hangs on with his beer. Nothing all around but the
HUGE IMPENETRABLE CLOUD OF DUST. LACERDA snaps madly away
at nothing at all!
28.
LACERDA
I'll just keep trying different
combos of film and lenses till I
find one that works in this dust!
The SOUND OF MOTORCYCLES RACING...
We hear music and voices singing:
BATTLE HYMN
"...As we go marching on
When I reach my final campground,
in
that land beyond the sun,
And the Great Commander asks me..."
[What did he ask you, Rusty?]
"Did you fight or did you run?"
A moment later, the Bronco races out of the dust. DUKE
coughs, chokes, drinks beer.
BATTLE HYMN
(continuing)
[And what did you tell them,
Rusty?]
"We responded to their rifle fire
with everything we had..."
The sound of gun shots...
A DUNE BUGGY races toward them, loaded down with THREE
RETIRED PETTY OFFICERS, DRUNK AS HELL. The radio blares:
"THE BATTLE HYMN OF LIEUTENANT CALLEY."
The dune buggy is COVERED WITH OMINOUS SYMBOLS: SCREAMING
EAGLES CARRYING AMERICAN FLAGS IN THEIR CLAWS. A slant-eyed
Snake being chopped to bits by a buzz-saw made of stars and
stripes. A MACHINE GUN MOUNT on the passenger side. They
yell over the roaring engines.
DUNE BUGGY DRIVER
Where's the damn race?
DUKE
Beats me. We're just good patriotic
Americans like yourself.
DUKE gives DUNE BUGGY PASSENGER #2 A NICE BIG GRIN. In
response, the PASSENGER #2 narrows his eyes -- tightens his
grip on an automatic weapon.
DUNE BUGGY DRIVER
(suspiciously)
What outfit you fellas with?
29.
DUKE
The sporting press. We're
friendlies. Hired geeks.
The DRIVER and DUNE BUGGY PASSENGER #2 exchange looks.
DUKE
If you want a good chase, you
should get after that skunk from
CBS News up ahead in the black jeep.
He's the man responsible for that
book, THE SELLING OF THE PENTAGON.
DUNE BUGGY PASSENGER #1
HOT DAMN!
DUNE BUGGY PASSENGER #2
A black jeep, you say?
And they ROAR away.
DUKE
Take me back to the pits.
LACERDA
No, no -- we have to go on. We
need total coverage.
DUKE gets out of the Bronco.
DUKE
You're fired.
After a moment's hesitation, LACERDA and the BRONCO driver
roar away leaving DUKE alone in the cloud of dust.
DUKE (V/O)
It was time. I felt, for an
Agonizing Reappraisal of the whole
scene. The race was definitely
under way. I had witnessed the
start; I was sure of that much.
But what now?
EXT. LAS VEGAS STREETS - NIGHT
MUSIC PUMPS OUT. CRUISING IN THE RED SHARK IN VEGAS. THE
SKY SWIRLS WITH MILLIONS OF NEON LIGHTS CHASING EACH OTHER
IN BAROQUE PATTERNS ACROSS GIGANTIC HOTEL SIGNS. PSYCHEDELIC
LIGHT SHOWS TO LURE AND DERANGE THE INNOCENT. CITY OF LOST
SOULS.
30.
DUKE
Turn up the radio! Turn up the
tape machine! Roll the windows
down. Let's taste this cool desert
wind! Aaah, yes! This is what
it's all about!
DUKE, beer in hand, drives -- a big smile for the world.
GONZO scans The Vegas Visitor.
DUKE (V/O)
Total control now. Tooling along
the main drag on a Saturday night
in Vegas, two good old boys in a
fire apple red convertible...
stoned, ripped, twisted... Good
people!
GONZO
How about "Nickel Nick's Slot
Arcade?" "Hot Slots," that sounds
heavy. Twenty-nine cent hotdogs...
DUKE
Look, what are we doing here? Are
we here to entertain ourselves, or
to do the job?
GONZO
To do the job, of course. Here we
go... a Crab Louie and quart of
muscatel for twenty dollars!
The Shark hits a bump.
GONZO
As your attorney I advise you to
drive over to the Tropicana and
pick up on Guy Lombardo. He's in
the Blue Room with his Royal
Canadians.
They hit another bump.
DUKE
Why?
GONZO
Why what?
CUT to wide shot. They are DRIVING AROUND IN CIRCLES in a
large casino parking lot, bumping over the dividers.
31.
DUKE
Why should I pay out my hard-earned
dollars to watch a fucking corpse.
I don't know about you, but in my
line of business it's important to
be Hep.
EXT. DESERT ROOM HOTEL - NIGHT
TWO BIG SCREAMING FACES.
DOORMAN #1
What the hell are you doing?!
DOORMAN #2
You can't park here!
DUKE
Why not? Is this not a reasonable
place to park?
Reveal the RED SHARK parked on the sidewalk in front of the
Desert Inn. TWO DOORMEN loom over the car hood. The
MARQUEE says: TONIGHT. DEBBIE REYNOLDS.
GONZO leaps from the car, waving a five-dollar bill at the
DOORMAN.
GONZO
We want this car parked! We drove
all the way from L.A. for this show.
We're friends of Debbie's.
A pause, then... the DOORMAN pockets the bill, hands them a
parking stub. DUKE and GONZO hurry into the hotel.
INT. DESERT FROM HOTEL LOBBY - NIGHT
DUKE and GONZO walk through the lobby. Black, mirrored,
sleek, classy.
DUKE
Holy shit! They almost had us
there! That was quick thinking.
GONZO
What do you expect? I'm your
attorney. You owe me five bucks.
I want it now.
DUKE shrugs and hands over the $5.
32.
DUKE (V/O)
This was Bob Hope's turf. Frank
Sinatra's. Spiro Agnew's. It
seemed inappropriate to be haggling
about nickel/dime bribes for the
parking lot attendant.
A WINE-COLORED TUXEDO stops them at the entrance to the
ballroom.
WINE-COLORED TUXEDO
Sorry, full house.
GONZO
Goddamnit, we drove all the way
from L.A.
WINE-COLORED TUXEDO
I said there are no seats left...
at any price.
GONZO
Fuck seats! We're old friends of
Debbie's. I used to romp with her.
GONZO and the WINE-COLORED TUXEDO get into an ugly arm-
waving negotiation.
DUKE (V/O)
After a lot of bad noise, he let us
in for nothing provided we would
stand quietly at the back and not
smoke.
As DUKE and GONZO disappear through the door we can hear the
orchestra blasting out a HIGHLY BLANDIZED "SGT. PEPPER'S
LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND."
A beat.
The door flies open and BOUNCERS manhandle DUKE and GONZO
out. Despite the rough treatment they're both SCREECHING
WITH LAUGHTER.
GONZO
Jesus creeping shit!
DUKE
(tears streaming)
Did the mescaline just kick in? Or
was that Debbie Reynolds in a
silver Afro wig?!
33.
GONZO
(in hysteria)
We wandered into a fucking time
capsule!
EXT. LAS VEGAS STREETS - NIGHT
DUKE DRIVES FAST into the night. They're both LAUGHING
HYSTERICALLY.
DUKE
(in hysteria)
We wandered into a fucking time
capsule!
THEN... GONZO finds a TINY TEAR IN HIS JACKET...
GONZO
What's this?...
GONZO is instantly MOROSE.
GONZO
That scum...
GONZO twists round in the car -- SCREAMS back into the night.
GONZO
SCUM! I know where you live! I'll
find you and burn down your fucking
house!
EXT. BAZOOKO CIRCUS - NIGHT
A hundred foot high neon clown: BAZOOKO CIRCUS.
The RED SHARK pulls up beneath the sign.
DUKE
This is the place. They'll never
fuck with us here.
GONZO
Where's the ether? This mescaline
isn't working.
EXT. BAZOOKO CIRCUS CASINO - NIGHT
Into the GLARING, CHASING LIGHTS of the entrance canopy
steps DUKE in EC/U holding a KLEENEX SOAKED IN ETHER TO HIS
NOSE.
34.
DUKE (V/O)
Ah, devil ether. It makes you
behave like the village drunkard in
some early Irish novel... total
loss of all basic motor skills;
blurred vision, no balance, numb
tongue --
(throws away kleenex)
The mind recoils in horror, unable
to communicate with the spinal
column. Which is interesting,
because you can actually watch
yourself behaving in this terrible
way, but you can't control it.
DUKE and GONZO approach the entrance with elaborate care-
taking one step at a time -- trying to keep ahead of the drug.
DUKE (V/O)
You approach the turnstiles and
know that when you get there, you
have to give the man two dollars or
he won't let you inside... but when
you get there, everything goes wrong.
THE ETHER KICKS IN:
DUKE and GONZO BOUNCE off the walls, CRASH into OLD LADIES,
GIGGLE HELPLESSLY as they try to pay -- HANDS FLAPPING
CRAZILY, unable to get money out of their pockets.
DUKE (V/O)
Some angry Rotarian shoves you and
you think: What's happening here?
What's going on? Then you hear
yourself mumbling.
DUKE
(mumbling)
Dogs fucked the Pope, no fault of
mine. Watch out!... Why money? My
name is Brinks; I was born... Born?
GONZO
Get sheep over side... women and
children to armored car... orders
from Captain Zeep.
The ATTENDANTS indulgently escort them through the TURNSTILES.
35.
DUKE (V/O)
Ether is the perfect drug for Las
Vegas. In this town they love a
drunk. Fresh meat. So they put us
through the turnstiles and turned
us loose inside.
INT. BAZOOKO CIRCUS CASINO - NIGHT
Flames shoot up from below the casino. Above, a HIGH WIRE
ACT with FOUR MUZZLED WOLVERINES, SIX NYMPHET SISTERS FROM
SAN DIEGO, TWO SILVER PAINTED POLACK BROTHERS, and THREE
KOREAN KITTENS.
The WOLVERINE chases a NYMPHET through the air. TWO POLACKS
swing at it from opposite sides and they are instantly
locked in a death battle.
All plummet to the nets suspended over the GAMBLING TABLES
and SLOT MACHINES. No one looks up. The GAMBLERS REMAIN
INTENT ON THE SPINNING ROULETTE WHEEL, THE TURN OF THE CARD,
THE ROLL OF A DICE.
DUKE (V/O)
Bazooko Circus is what the whole
hep world would be doing Saturday
night if the Nazis had won the war.
This was the Sixth Reich.
Something causes DUKE to look down. A dwarf carrying drinks
on a tray is tugging DUKE's pants leg trying to get him to
move out of the way.
DUKE (V/O CONT'D)
A drug person can learn to cope
with things like seeing their dead
grandmother crawling up their leg
with a knife in her teeth but,
nobody should be asked to handle
this trip.
GONZO and DUKE go upstairs walking past funhouse booths.
One of them is manned by an orangutan in costume. A
FAIRGROUND BARKER grabs DUKE.
FAIRGROUND BARKER
Stand in front of this fantastic
machine, my friend. For just 99
cents your likeness will appear 200
hundred feet tall on a screen above
downtown Las Vegas.
On a TV monitor a 200 FOOT HIGH DRUNKARD looms over the Las
Vegas skyline screaming OBSCENITIES.
36.
FAIRGROUND BARKER
99 cents more for a voice message.
Say whatever you want, fella.
They'll hear you, don't worry about
that. Remember, you'll be 200 feet
tall!
ANOTHER BARKER
Step right up! Shoot the pasties
off the nipples of this ten-foot
bull-dyke and win a cotton candy
goat!
INT. BAZOOKO CIRCUS REVOLVING MERRY-GO-ROUND BAR - NIGHT
DUKE and GONZO sit on the revolving platform. GONZO
stares -- glassy eyed -- coming apart.
GONZO
I hate to say this, but this place
is getting to me. I think I'm
getting The Fear.
DUKE
Nonsense. We came here to find the
American Dream, and now we're right
in the vortex you want to quit.
You must realize that we've found
the Main Nerve.
GONZO
That's what gives me The Fear.
DUKE
Look over there. Two women fucking
a Polar Bear.
GONZO
Please, don't tell me those things...
Not now.
(signals the waitress
for two Wild Turkeys)
This is my last drink. How much
money can you lend me?
DUKE
Not much. Why?
GONZO
I have to go.
DUKE
GO?
37.
GONZO
Yes. Leave the country. Tonight.
DUKE
Calm down. You'll be straight in a
few hours.
GONZO
No. This is serious. One more
hour in this town and I'll kill
somebody!
DUKE
OK. I'll lend you some money.
Let's go outside and see how much
we have left.
GONZO
Can we make it?
DUKE
That depends on how many people we
fuck with between here and the door.
GONZO
I want to leave fast.
DUKE
OK. Lets pay this bill and get up
very slowly. It's going to be a
long walk.
(signals waitress who
comes over)
GONZO
(suddenly to waitress)
Do they pay you to screw that bear?
WAITRESS
What?
DUKE
He's just kidding.
(to GONZO)
Come on, Doc -- lets go downstairs
and gamble.
GONZO trembles with fear -- walks to the edge of the
turntable.
GONZO
When does this thing stop?
38.
DUKE
It won't stop. It's not ever going
to stop.
DUKE carefully steps off the turntable.
GONZO, eyes staring blindly ahead, squiting in fear and
confusion, rooted to the spot, is carried away.
DUKE
Don't move you'll come around.
DUKE reaches out to grab GONZO, who jumps back -- keeps
going around.
The BARTENDER narrows his eyes at them.
DUKE steps onto the merry-go-round -- hurries round the
bar -- approaching GONZO from the blind side and shoves
GONZO from behind. GONZO goes down with a hellish scream.
DUKE approaches him with his hands in the air. Smiling.
DUKE
You fell. Let's go.
GONZO refuses to move and stands tense, fists clenched,
looking for somebody to hit...an old woman perhaps?
DUKE (CONT'D)
OK. You stay here and go to jail.
I'm leaving.
DUKE walks fast towards the stairs. GONZO catches up with
him.
GONZO
Did you see that? Some sonofabitch
kicked me in the back.
DUKE
Probably the bartender. He wanted
to stomp you for what you said to
the waitress.
GONZO
Good God! Let's get out of here!
Where's the elevator?
DUKE
(turning him in the
opposite direction)
Don't go near that elevator.
That's just what they want us to
do... trap us in a steel box and
take us down to the basement.
39.
EXT. BAZOOKO CIRCUS CASINO - NIGHT
DUKE and GONZO stumble out of the entrance.
DUKE
Don't run. They'd like any excuse
to shoot us.
GONZO
(in an extended fall)
You drive! I think there's
something wrong with me.
INT. MINT HOTEL CORRIDOR OUTSIDE THEIR SUITE - NIGHT
DUKE AND GONZO RUN MADLY DOWN THE CORRIDOR... DUKE TAKING
CARE NOT TO STEP ON THE PATTERNED PART OF THE CARPET.
GONZO STRUGGLES with the key in the lock.
GONZO
Those bastards have changed the
lock on us. They probably searched
the room. Jesus, we're finished!
The door SUDDENLY SWINGS OPEN. DUKE AND GONZO fall inside.
INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT
GONZO
Bolt everything! Use all chains!
DUKE locks the door. The suite is crowded with ROOM SERVICE
GOODIES. DUKE turns to see GONZO staring at two hotel room
keys. EVERYTHING STOPS.
GONZO
Where did this one come from?
DUKE snatches a key.
DUKE
That's Lacerda's room.
GONZO smiles a slow smile...
GONZO
Yeah... I thought we might need it...
DUKE
What for?
GONZO snatches the key back.
40.
GONZO
Let's go up there and blast him out
of bed with the fire hose.
DUKE
No, we should leave the poor
bastard alone. I get the feeling
that he's avoiding us for some
reason.
GONZO
Don't kid yourself. That Portuguese
son of a bitch is dangerous. He's
watching us like a hawk.
DUKE
He told me he was turning in early...
GONZO utters an anguished cry -- slaps the wall with both
hands.
GONZO
That dirty bastard! I knew it!
He's got hold of my woman!
DUKE
(laughing)
That little blonde groupie with the
film crew? You think he sodomized
her?
GONZO
That's right, laugh about it! You
goddamn honkies are all the same!
GONZO SLASHES A GRAPEFRUIT with a HUGE RAZOR SHARP HUNTING
KNIFE. DUKE blanches.
DUKE
Where'd you get that knife?
GONZO SLICES THE GRAPEFRUIT -- MANIACAL.
GONZO
Room service sent it up. I wanted
something to cut the limes.
GONZO SLICES THE GRAPEFRUIT -- INTO EIGHTHS!
DUKE
What limes?
GONZO SLICES -- SIXTEENTHS!
41.
GONZO
They didn't have any. They don't
grow in the desert.
SLICE! SLICE! SLICE!
GONZO
That dirty toad bastard! I knew I
should have taken him out when I
had the chance. Now he has her.
SLICE! SLICE! SLICE! GONZO SLASHES INSANELY!
DUKE watches -- straight-faced.
DUKE (V/O)
I remember the girl. We'd had a
problem with her in the elevator a
few hours earlier: my attention had
made a fool of himself.
INT. ELEVATOR - DAY (FLASHBACK)
An elevator door opens to reveal the SMILING FACES OF
LACERDA, THE BLONDE TV REPORTER AND HER CREW.
DUKE and GONZO stagger in.
LACERDA drops his smile. He's standing beside the BLONDE TV
REPORTER. A trembling GONZO moonily turns his eyes onto her.
BLONDE TV REPORTER
(to Gonzo)
You must be a rider. What class
are you in?
GONZO
Class? What the fuck do you mean?
BLONDE TV REPORTER
What do you ride? We're filming
the race for a TV series -- maybe
we can use you.
GONZO
Use me?
DUKE (V/O)
Mother of God, I thought. Here it
comes.
GONZO is TREMBLING BADLY. There's a moment of uncomfortable
silence.
42.
GONZO
(suddenly shouting)
I ride the BIG ONES! The really
BIG fuckers!
GONZO shows his teeth to LACERDA. DUKE laughs trying to
defuse the scene.
DUKE
The Vincent Black Shadow. We're
with the Factory Team.
TV CAMERAMAN
Bullshit.
GONZO stills -- becomes dangerous -- zeros in on the TV
CAMERAMAN -- groin to groin...
GONZO
Wait a minute, pardon me lady, but
I think there's some kind of
ignorant chicken-sucker in this car
who needs his face cut open. You
cheap honky faggots! Which one of
you wants to get cut?!
DEAD SILENCE.
Ding! The elevator door opens, but nobody moves. The door
closes.
Next floor. Ding! The door opens again. A middle-aged
couple start to get in. Change their minds. The door closes.
INT. CORRIDOR - DAY
DUKE and GONZO run down the corridor. GONZO LAUGHS WILDLY.
GONZO
Spooked! They were spooked! Like
rats in a death cage!
INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - DAY
DUKE and GONZO CRASH into their hotel suite -- BOLT THE DOOR.
GONZO stops laughing.
GONZO
Goddamn. It's serious now. That
girl understood. She fell in love
with me.
END FLASHBACK.
43.
INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT
SLICE! SLICE! SLICE! GONZO with the BIG HUNTING KNIFE --
sliced grapefruit segments everywhere.
GONZO
Let's go up there and castrate that
fucker!
GONZO pauses -- A MAD THOUGHT -- turns to DUKE.
GONZO
(squinting suspiciously)
Have you made a deal with him? Did
you put him on to her?
DUKE
(backing slowly
towards the door)
Look you better put that blade away
and get your head straight. I have
to put the car in the lot.
DUKE (V/O)
One of the things you learn, after
years of dealing with drug people,
is that you can turn your back on a
person, but never turn your back on
a drug. Especially when it's
waving a razor-sharp hunting knife
in your eyes.
INT. CASINO/LOBBY MINT HOTEL
The MAGAZINE REPORTER is on the telephone.
MAGAZINE REPORTER
Las Vegas at dawn. The racers are
still asleep, the dust is still on
the desert, fifty thousand dollars
in prize money, slumbers darkly in
the office safe at Del Webb's
fabulous Mint Hotel...
DUKE walks past the REPORTER -- into THE CASINO, THE SAD,
MEAGRE CROWDS AROUND THE CRAP TABLES. No joy. DUKE watches.
DUKE (V/O)
Who are these people? These faces!
Where do they come from? They look
like caricatures of used car
dealers from Dallas.
(MORE)
44.
DUKE (V/O; CONT'D)
And, sweet Jesus, there are a hell
of a lot of them at four-thirty on
a Monday morning. Still humping
the American dream, that vision of
the big winner somehow emerging
from the last minute predawn chaos
of a stale Vegas casino.
DUKE stops at the Money Wheel, puts down a two dollar bill
on a number, the wheel turns, he loses.
DUKE
You bastards!
DUKE (V/O)
No. Calm down. Learn to ENJOY
losing.
INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT
DUKE walks back into the room. We hear the LOUD STRAINS OF
THREE DOG NIGHT'S "JOY TO THE WORLD."
He walks to the bathroom and opens the door.
INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE BATHROOM - NIGHT
Submerged in green water, GONZO WALLOWS in the steaming tub.
Soap labels and grapefruit rinds float on the surface. A
large empty pack of Neutrogena soap lies on the floor. The
shower is on -- the tub overflowing. THE TAPE RECORDER
PLAYS, from where it's plugged into the razor socket over
the sink.
DUKE turns off the shower -- notices a HUGE HUNK OF CHEWED
UP WHITE BLOTTER.
DUKE
You ate ALL THIS ACID?
No answer.
DUKE
(turning down the volume)
You evil son of a bitch. You
better hope there's some Thorazine
in that bag, because if there's
not, you're in bad trouble.
GONZO
Music! Turn it up. Put that tape
on.
45.
DUKE
What tape?
GONZO
Jefferson Airplane. "White Rabbit."
I want a rising sound.
DUKE
You're doomed. I'm leaving here in
two hours and then they're going to
come up here and beat the mortal
shit out of you with big saps.
Right there in that tub.
GONZO
I dig my own graves. Green water
and the White Rabbit. Put it on.
DUKE
OK. But do me one last favor, will
you. Can you give me two hours?
That's all I ask -- just two hours
to sleep before tomorrow. I
suspect it's going to be a very
difficult day.
He switches on the tape. "WHITE RABBIT" begins to build.
GONZO
(coolly)
Of course, I'm your attorney, I'll
give you all the time you need, at
my normal rates: $45 an hour -- but
you'll be wanting a cushion, so,
why don't you just lay one of those
$100 bills down there beside the
radio, and fuck off?
DUKE
How about a check?
GONZO
Whatever's right.
DUKE moves the radio as far from the tub as he can and
leaves, closing the door behind him.
INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT
DUKE goes across to the sofa and crashes -- exhausted.
Suddenly a great ripping and crashing noise in the bathroom.
GONZO (V/O)
Help! You bastard! I need help!
46.
DUKE JUMPS up -- crosses to the bathroom door, muttering.
DUKE
Shit, he's killing himself!
INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT
DUKE RUSHES IN. GONZO flails -- trying to reach the radio
with the shower curtain pole which he has ripped from its
mounts.
GONZO
(snarling)
I want that fucking radio!
DUKE GRABS THE RADIO.
DUKE
Don't touch it! Get back in that
tub!
GONZO
Back the tape up. I need it again!
Let it roll! Just as high as the
fucker can go! And when it comes
to that fantastic note where the
rabbit bites its own head off, I
want you to THROW THAT FUCKING
RADIO INTO THE TUB WITH ME!
DUKE stares down at GONZO.
DUKE
Not me. It would blast you through
the wall -- stone dead in ten
seconds and they'd make me explain
it!
GONZO
BULLSHIT! Don't make me use this.
HIS ARM LASHES OUT OF THE WATER, HOLDING THE KNIFE.
DUKE
Jesus.
GONZO
Do it! I want to get HIGHER!
DUKE considers this. He's had enough.
47.
DUKE
Okay. You're right. This is
probably the only solution.
(holds the PLUGGED IN
TAPE/RADIO over the tub)
Let me make sure I have it all
lined up. You want me to throw
this thing into the tub when "WHITE
RABBIT" peaks. Is that it?
GONZO falls back into the water, smiling gratefully.
GONZO
Fuck yes. I was beginning to think
I was going to have to go out and
get one of the goddamn maids to do
it.
DUKE
Are you ready?
He switches "WHITE RABBIT" back on. GONZO HOWLS AND MOANS
AND THRASHES TO THE MUSIC, straining to get over the top.
Meanwhile, DUKE picks up a grapefruit from the sink -- a
good two-pounder, he gets a grip on it... and when "WHITE
RABBIT" peaks... HE HURLS IT INTO THE TUB LIKE A CANNONBALL.
GONZO SCREAMS CRAZILY, THRASHING AND CHURNING -- CAUSING A
TIDAL WAVE.
DUKE JERKS THE RADIO CABLE OUT OF THE SOCKET -- SLAMS OUT OF
THE BATHROOM.
INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT
DUKE slumps onto the sofa.
SILENCE.
GONZO RIPS OPEN THE BATHROOM DOOR, his eyes unfocused. HE
WAVES THE RAZOR SHARP BLADE out in front of him -- LUNGES at
DUKE. DUKE WHIPS OUT A CAN OF MACE.
DUKE
MACE! YOU WANT THIS?
GONZO stops -- hisses.
GONZO
You bastard! You'd do that,
wouldn't you?
48.
DUKE
(laughs)
Why worry? You'll like it. Nothing
in the world like a Mace high.
Forty-five minutes on your knees
with the dry heaves...
GONZO
You cheap honky sonofabitch...
DUKE
Why not? Hell, just a minute ago,
you were asking me to kill you!
And now you want to kill me! What
I should do, goddamnit, is call the
police!
GONZO
The cops?
DUKE
There's no choice. I wouldn't dare
go to sleep with you wandering
around with a head full of acid and
wanting to slice me up with that
goddamn knife!
GONZO
(mumbles)
Who said anything about slicing you
up? I just wanted to carve a
little Z on your forehead. Nothing
serious.
GONZO shrugs and reaches for a cigarette on top of the TV set.
DUKE
(menaces him with the MACE)
Get back in that tub. Eat some
reds and try to calm down. Smoke
some grass, shoot some smack --
shit, do whatever you have to do,
but let me get some rest.
GONZO turns toward the bathroom -- suddenly sad.
GONZO
Hell, yes. You really need some
sleep. You have to work. Goddamn.
What a bummer. Try to rest. Don't
let me keep you up.
49.
GONZO shuffles back into the bathroom. DUKE wedges a chair
up against the bathroom doorknob and puts the mace can next
to the clock.
DUKE turns on the TV. WHITE NOISE FILLS THE ROOM. He
collapses onto the sofa and lights up his lightbulb as pipe.
DUKE (V/O)
Ignore the nightmare in the bathroom.
Just another ugly refugee from the
Love Generation.
The WHITE NOISE snow storm on the TV is reflected in his
face. The camera pulls back revealing THE ENTIRE WALL
BEHIND HIM TO BE SWIRLING WITH THE FIZZING SNOWSTORM PATTERN.
DUKE (V/O)
My attorney had never been able to
accept the notion -- often espoused
by former drug abusers -- that you
can get a lot higher without drugs
than with them. And neither have
I, for that matter.
The pattern on the wall changes to A 60'S VISCOUS OIL
LIGHTSHOW PATTERN. With DUKE still sitting in the
foreground, the projected image widens to reveal the interior
of A HAIGHT ASHBURY DANCE HALL full of DANCING PROTO-HIPPIES.
INT. MATRIX CLUB - NIGHT
A slightly YOUNGER DUKE moves through the throng. All the
action is in a DREAMLIKE SLOW-MOTION.
DUKE (V/O)
I recall one night in the Matrix.
There I was -- a victim of the Drug
Explosion. A natural street freak,
just eating whatever came by.
A ROAD-PERSON with a big pack on his back is shouting. The
sound of his voice, like his movements, is in slow-motion.
ROAD-PERSON
Anybody want some L...S...D...? I
got all the makin's right here.
All I need is a place to cook.
The camera pushes right into the ROAD-PERSON's mouth.
INT. MATRIX MEN'S ROOM - NIGHT
Still in slow motion, the YOUNGER DUKE is trying to eat a
HUGE SPANSULE OF ACID. With difficulty.
50.
DUKE (V/O)
I decided to eat only half at first.
Good thinking. But I spilled the
rest on the sleeve of my red
Pendleton shirt.
DUKE stares at his sleeve, uncertain what to do. C/U of the
door to the men's room as a MUSICIAN enters speaking in
slow-motion.
MUSICIAN
What's the trouble?
DUKE
(also in slow-motion)
Well, all this white stuff on my
sleeve is LSD.
The MUSICIAN approaches and looks down at DUKE'S arm. A
long pause.
Cut back to tight shot of door as it opens and a very clean-
cut, PREPPY, STOCKBROKER TYPE enters. He freezes in horror.
We cut to his POV. DUKE is standing in the middle of the
men's room with the MUSICIAN hunkered down at his side...
sucking on his sleeve. A very gross tableau. The
STOCKBROKER slowly eases out of the room.
DUKE (V/O)
With a bit of luck his life was
ruined -- forever thinking that
just behind some narrow door in all
his favorite bars, men in red
Pendleton shirts are getting
incredible kicks from things he'll
never know.
INT. A BAR - YEARS LATER - NIGHT
The STOCKBROKER LOOKING CONSIDERABLY OLDER sits looking
lost, confused, a nervous wreck. The image flares out in a
TV white noise snowstorm.
INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT
DUKE sits staring at the TV.
51.
DUKE (V/O)
Strange memories on this nervous
night in Las Vegas.
(he gets up, pours
himself a drink)
Has it been five years? Six? It
seems like a lifetime -- the kind
of peak that never comes again.
San Francisco in the middle sixties
was a very special time and place
to be a part of. But no
explanation, no mix of words or
music or memories can touch that
sense of knowing that you were
there and alive in that corner of
time and the world. Whatever it
meant.
DUKE throws open the curtains. Light streams in.
EXT. 1965 STOCK FOOTAGE
We are in SAN FRANCISCO. IMAGES OF THE TIME FLOOD IN.
DUKE (V/O)
THERE WAS MADNESS IN ANY DIRECTION,
AT ANY HOUR... YOU COULD STRIKE
SPARKS ANYWHERE. THERE WAS A
FANTASTIC UNIVERSAL SENSE THAT
WHATEVER WE WERE DOING WAS RIGHT,
THAT WE WERE WINNING. AND THAT, I
THINK, WAS THE HANDLE -- THAT SENSE
OF INEVITABLE VICTORY OVER THE
FORCES OF OLD AND EVIL. NOT IN ANY
MEAN OR MILITARY SENSE; WE DIDN'T
NEED THAT. OUR ENERGY WOULD SIMPLY
prevail. We had all the momentum;
we were riding the crest of a high
and beautiful wave...
DUKE'S FACE IS SUFFUSED WITH A SADNESS AND SERENITY WE HAVE
NEVER SEEN BEFORE.
DUKE (V/O)
So now, less than five years later,
you can go up on a steep hill in
Las Vegas and look west, and with
the right kind of eyes you can
almost see the high water mark --
that place where the wave finally
broke and rolled back.
52.
The memories dissolve into the night skyline of Vegas.
Suddenly towering over the casinos is a 200 foot high Nazi
shouting "WOODSTOCK ÜBER ALLES!"
INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT
DUKE closes the curtain. The room is in darkness again.
INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - DAWN
A harsh door buzzer. DUKE jerks awake. Alone. Looking
like shit. Around him is the wreckage of their stay.
DUKE (V/O)
The decision to flee came suddenly.
Or maybe not.
DUKE opens the door to a BELL BOY with a trolley load of
fruit, drinks and flowers... and a smile.
BELL BOY
Room service!
The BELL BOY wheels the trolley across the room -- already
stacked with EVEN MORE BOXES OF GOODIES.
DUKE (V/O)
Maybe I'd planned it all along --
subconsciously waiting for the
right moment. The bill was a
factor, I think. Because I had no
money to pay for it.
DUKE slams the door -- starts FRANTICALLY PACKING.
DUKE (V/O)
Our room service tabs had been
running somewhere between $29 and
$36 per hour, for forty-eight
consecutive hours. Incredible.
How could it happen?
DUKE sees the DISCARDED WRAPPINGS OF EXPENSIVE, HAND TOOLED
LUGGAGE. A sudden thought. He rushes to GONZO's room --
empty. His plastic briefcase remains on the bed...
DUKE (V/O)
But by the time I asked this
question, there was no one around
to answer.
DUKE opens the briefcase -- finds the .357 MAGNUM inside.
53.
DUKE (V/O)
My attorney was gone. He must have
sensed trouble.
QUICK CUT TO:
EXT. LAS VEGAS AIRPORT - DAY
GONZO WAVES GOODBYE as he boards an airplane with a set of
brand-new fine cowhide luggage.
DUKE (V/O)
Panic.
INT. CORRIDOR OUTSIDE HOTEL SUITE - DAY
DUKE emerges with his bag and Gonzo's plastic briefcase --
leaves the DO NOT DISTURB sign on the door -- checks both
ways, then hurries away down the corridor.
DUKE (V/O)
It crept up my spine like first
rising vibes of an acid frenzy.
All these horrible realities began
to dawn on me.
INT. MINT HOTEL ELEVATOR - DAY
An anxiety ridden DUKE watches the floor numbers as the
elevator descends. He searches his pockets...
DUKE (V/O)
Here I was, alone in Las Vegas,
with this goddamned incredibly
expensive car, completely twisted
on drugs, no cash, no story for the
magazine. And on top of everything
else I had a gigantic goddamn hotel
bill to deal with.
DUKE finds a last crumpled $5 bill.
The door opens. A SECURITY GUARD enters with an OLD LADY IN
HANDCUFFS.
DUKE hides the bill -- crams back into the corner. Doors
close.
DUKE (V/O)
I didn't even know who had won the
race. Maybe nobody.
54.
INT. MINT HOTEL LOBBY - DAY
DUKE hurries out of the elevator -- eyes on a hovering
MANAGER. Past the curious look of the reception CLERK.
DUKE
(muttering to himself)
How would Horatio Alger have
handled this situation?
EXT. MINT HOTEL - DAY
Motoring, DUKE gives his $5 bill to the HOTEL FRONT DOORMAN
with a smile. The DOORMAN blows a frantic whistle and waves
at the CAR BOY.
DUKE (V/O)
Stay calm. Stay calm. I'm a
relatively respectable citizen -- a
multiple felon, perhaps, but
certainly not dangerous.
The CAR BOY pulls up with a screech. DUKE jumps in. The
back seat is stacked with bars of Neutrogena, piles of Mint
400 t-shirts, boxes of grapefruit.
DUKE (V/O CONT'D)
Luckily, I had taken the soap and
grapefruit and other luggage out to
the car a few hours earlier. Now
it was only a matter of slipping
the noose...
DUKE shifts into drive. Deliverance!
CLERK'S VOICE
MR. DUKE!
DUKE freezes.
CLERK'S VOICE
Mr. Duke! We've been looking for
you!
DUKE (V/O)
The game was up! They had me.
DUKE
(to himself)
Well, why not? Many fine books
have been written in prison.
55.
Resigned, DUKE turns off the ignition. A young CLERK
arrives breathlessly with a smile and a YELLOW LETTER IN HIS
HAND.
CLERK
Sir?
(thrusts out a TELEGRAM)
This telegram came for you.
Actually, it isn't for you. It's
for somebody named Thompson, but it
says 'care of Raoul Duke'. does
that make sense?
DUKE
(barely able to speak)
Yes... It makes sense.
DUKE stuffs the telegram into his top pocket.
The CLERK peers into the car -- sees part of the enormous
stash inside.
CLERK
I checked the register for this man
Thompson. We don't show him but I
figured he might be part of your
team.
DUKE
He is. Don't worry, I'll get it to
him.
He fires up the engine -- eases the RED SHARK into low gear.
SECURITY GUARDS are looking across -- sharing a quiet word
or two.
CLERK
What confused us was Dr. Gonzo's
signature on the telegram from Los
Angeles. When we knew he was right
here in the hotel.
DUKE
You did the right thing. Never try
to understand a press message.
About half the time we use codes --
especially with Dr. Gonzo.
CLERK
Tell me. When will the doctor be
awake?
56.
DUKE
(tenses)
Awake? What do you mean?
DUKE's eyes are on the SECURITY GUARDS -- moving closer.
CLERK
(uncomfortably)
Well... the manager, Mr. Heem,
would like to meet him. Nothing
unusual. Mr. Heem likes to meet
all our large accounts... put them
on a personal basis... just a chat
and a handshake, you understand.
DUKE
Of course. But if I were you, I'd
leave the Doctor alone until after
he's eaten breakfast. He's a very
crude man.
DUKE edges the car forward, but is stopped by the CLERK.
CLERK
But he will be available? Perhaps
later this morning?
DUKE
Look. That telegram was all
scrambled. It was actually from
Thompson, not to him. Western
Union must have gotten the names
reversed. I have to get going. I
have to get out to the track.
CLERK
There's no hurry! The race is over!
DUKE
(taking off)
Not for me.
He waves the CLERK off the car -- roars away.
CLERK
Let's have lunch!
DUKE
Righto!
EXT. ROAD OUT OF VEGAS - DAY
DUKE drives the RED SHARK out of Vegas.
57.
A "YOU ARE LEAVING LAS VEGAS" sign flashes past.
Bob Dylan plays: "Memphis Blues Again -- "Aaww, Mama, can
this really by the end...?"
A sign: LOS ANGELES -- 400 miles.
DUKE (V/O)
Jesus, bad waves of paranoia,
madness, fear and loathing --
intolerable vibrations in this
place. Get out! The weasels were
closing in. I could smell the ugly
brutes. Flee!
DUKE drives fast.
DUKE
Do me one last favor Lord: just
give me five more high-speed hours
before you bring the hammer down;
just let me get rid of this goddamn
car and off of this horrible desert.
A sign flashes "YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE."
A patrol car pulls out behind him, lights flashing.
DUKE (CONT'D)
You evil bastard! This is your
work! You'd better take care of
me, Lord... because if you don't
you're going to have me on your
hands.
The patrol car screams after the RED SHARK.
DUKE (V/O)
Few people understand the psychology
of dealing with a Highway Traffic
Cop. Your normal speeder will
panic and immediately pull over to
the side. This is wrong.
DUKE floors the gas pedal.
DUKE (V/O)
It arouses contempt in the cop heart.
THE SPEEDOMETER CLIMBS STEADILY.
58.
DUKE (V/O)
Make the bastard chase you. He
will follow. But he won't know
what to make of your blinker signal
that says you're about to turn right.
DUKE signals right. The RED SHARK screams at 120 mph.
DUKE (V/O)
This is to let him know you're
looking for a proper place to pull
off and talk.
AN EXIT OFF RAMP: MAX SPEED 25.
DUKE hits the brakes. The COP brakes.
DUKE (V/O)
It will take him a moment to
realize that he is about to make
180 degree turn at speed... but you
will be ready for it, braced for
the G's and the fast heel toe work.
The patrol car spins and fishtails crazily out of control.
EXT. SCENIC PICNIC AREA - DAY
The patrol car comes skidding around the corner. DUKE
stands beside the RED SHARK, completely relaxed and smiling.
The HIGHWAY PATROLMAN gets out of the car, screaming.
HIGHWAY PATROLMAN
Just what the FUCK did you think
you were doing?!
DUKE smiles.
HIGHWAY PATROLMAN
May I see your license.
DUKE
Of course, officer.
DUKE reaches for it. And BOTH MEN look down at a beer
can -- which DUKE had, somehow, forgotten was in his hand.
DUKE (V/O)
I knew I was fucked.
The COP relaxes -- actually smiles... He reaches out for
DUKE's wallet, then holds out his other hand for the beer.
59.
HIGHWAY PATROLMAN
Could I have that, please?
DUKE
Why not? It was getting warm anyway.
The HIGHWAY PATROLMAN takes it, pours out the beer --
glances in the back seat of the RED SHARK. Amongst the bars
of soap... A case of warm beer. DUKE smiles back at him.
HIGHWAY PATROLMAN
You realize...
DUKE
Yeah. I know. I'm guilty. I
understand that. I knew it was a
crime but I did it anyway. Shit,
why argue? I'm a fucking criminal.
HIGHWAY PATROLMAN
That's a strange attitude.
He looks at DUKE thoughtfully.
HIGHWAY PATROLMAN
You know -- I get the feeling you
could use a nap. There's a rest
area up ahead. Why don't you pull
over and sleep a few hours?
DUKE
A nap won't help. I've been awake
for too long -- three or four
nights. I can't even remember. If
I go to sleep now, I'm dead for
twenty hours.
The HIGHWAY PATROLMAN smiles.
HIGHWAY PATROLMAN
Okay. Here's how it is. What goes
into my book, as of noon, is that I
apprehended you... for driving too
fast, and advised you to proceed no
further than the next rest area...
your stated destination, right?
Where you plan to take a long nap.
Do I make myself clear?
DUKE
How far is Baker? I was hoping to
stop there for lunch.
60.
HIGHWAY PATROLMAN
Not my jurisdiction. The city
limits are two point two miles
beyond the rest area. Can you make
it that far?
DUKE
I'll try. I've been wanting to go
to Baker for a long time. I've
heard a lot about it.
The PATROLMAN holds the door for DUKE who gets in.
HIGHWAY PATROLMAN
Excellent seafood. With a mind
like yours, you'll probably want to
try the land-crab. Try the Majestic
Diner.
The PATROLMAN slams the door shut.
EXT. DESERT ROAD - DAY
DUKE drives away -- teeth gritted.
DUKE (V/O)
I felt raped. The Pig had done me
on all fronts, and now he was going
off to chuckle about it -- on the
west side of town, waiting for me
to make a run for L.A.
DUKE drives past the rest area to an intersection where he
signals to turn right into Baker. As he approaches the turn
he sees the HITCHHIKER! As DUKE slows to make the turn
their eyes meet. DUKE is about to wave -- but the HITCHHIKER
drops his thumb.
DUKE
Great Jesus, it's him.
DUKE, spooked, SPINS THE RED SHARK round -- ROARS BACK THE
WAY HE CAME.
EXT. BAKER TRUCK STOP - DAY
DUKE on the public phone booth -- screaming.
DUKE
They've nailed me! I'm trapped in
some stinking desert crossroads
called Baker. I don't have much
time. The fuckers are closing in.
They'll hunt me down like a beast!
61.
INT. GONZO'S OFFICE - DAY
GONZO sits surrounded by legal papers and law books. Mexican
Day of the Dead masks hang from the walls -- flame-red demons.
GONZO
Who? You sound a little paranoid.
EXT. BAKER TRUCK STOP - DAY
DUKE screams -- sweat pouring.
DUKE
You bastard! I need a lawyer
immediately!
INT. GONZO'S OFFICE - DAY
GONZO
What are you doing in Baker?
Didn't you get my telegram?
EXT. BAKER TRUCK STOP - DAY
DUKE
What? Fuck telegrams. I'm in
trouble. You worthless bastard.
I'll cripple your ass for this!
All that shit in the car is yours!
You understand that? When I finish
testifying out here you'll be
disbarred!
INT. GONZO'S OFFICE - DAY
GONZO
You're supposed to be in Vegas. We
have a suite at the Flamingo. I
was just about to leave for the
airport.
INT. BAKER TRUCK STOP - DAY
DUKE pulls out the telegram from his top pocket.
GONZO'S VOICE
You brainless scumbag! You're
supposed to be covering the National
District Attorney's conference! I
made all the reservations... rented
a white Cadillac convertible... the
whole thing is arranged! What the
hell are you doing out there in the
middle of the fucking desert?
62.
DUKE stares at the telegram.
DUKE
Never mind. It's all a big joke.
I'm actually sitting beside the
pool at the Flamingo. I'm talking
from a portable phone. Some dwarf
brought it out from the casino. I
have total credit! Can you grasp
that?
(shouts)
Don't come anywhere near this place!
Foreigners aren't welcome here!
DUKE, breathing heavily, hangs up phone.
EXT. DESERT - DAY
C/U of .357 Magnum cylinder being spun.
DUKE (V/O)
Well. This is how the world works.
C/U An IGUANA basks in the sun.
DUKE (V/O)
All energy flows according to the
whims of the Great Magnet.
C/U Barrel of the gun. It fires. An explosion of desert
dirt.
DUKE (V/O)
What a fool I was to defy Him.
The IGUANA sits unfazed.
DUKE (V/O)
Never cross the Great Magnet. I
understood this now...
(another blast from
the gun)
... and with understanding came a
sense of almost terminal relief.
DUKE stands alone in the vast desert firing at nothing, the
thuds of the explosions echo away.
EXT. ROAD INTO VEGAS - DAY
The RED SHARK driving back towards Las Vegas.
63.
DUKE (V/O)
I had to get rid of The Shark. Too
many people might recognize it...
...especially the Vegas Police.
(tight C/U of DUKE)
Luckily, my credit card was still
technically valid.
PULL BACK TO REVEAL:
DUKE, now driving a white Cadillac Coupe de Ville -- THE
WHITE WHALE.
DUKE pushes buttons -- lowers the top.
DUKE (V/O)
This was a superior machine -- ten
grand worth of gimmicks and high
price special effects. The rear
windows leapt up with a touch like
frogs in a dynamited pond. The
dashboard was full of esoteric
lights and dials and meters that I
would never understand.
EXT. FLAMINGO HOTEL - AFTERNOON
A GIANT SIGN: THE FLAMINGO WELCOMES THE NATIONAL DA'S
CONFERENCE ON NARCOTICS & DANGEROUS DRUGS.
DUKE (V/O)
If the Pigs were gathering in
Vegas, I felt the Drug Culture
should be represented as well...
and there was a certain bent appeal
in the notion of running a savage
burn on one Las Vegas hotel and
then just wheeling across town and
checking into another.
The WHITE WHALE turns into a VIP parking slot, immediately
attended by impressed MINIONS.
DUKE (V/O)
Me and a thousand ranking cops from
all over America. Why not? Move
confidently into their midst.
INT. FLAMINGO HOTEL LOBBY - AFTERNOON
DUKE enters -- old Levis, grubby sneakers, 10 peso Acapulco
shirt coming apart at the seams, 3 day growth, eyes hidden
behind mirror shades. He heads for the check-in line.
64.
DUKE (V/O)
My arrival was badly timed.
THE PLACE IS FULL OF COPS. 200 of them, on vacation, all
dressed in cut price Vegas casuals: plaid Bermuda shorts,
Arnie Palmer golf shirts, and rubberized beach sandals.
Ahead of DUKE -- A POLICE CHIEF argues with the DESK CLERK.
The POLICE CHIEF'S AGNEW STYLE WIFE stands to the side,
weeping. The POLICE CHIEF'S FRIENDS stand uneasily around.
POLICE CHIEF
What do you mean I'm too late to
register? I'm a police chief.
From Michigan. Look, fella, I told
you.
(waves a POSTCARD)
I have a postcard here that says I
have reservations in this hotel.
CLERK
(prissily)
I'm sorry, sir. You're on the
"late list." Your reservations were
transferred to the... ah...
Moonlight Motel, which is out on
Paradise Boulevard...
POLICE CHIEF
I've already paid for my goddamn
room!
CLERK
It's actually a very fine place of
lodging and only sixteen blocks
from here, with its own pool and...
POLICE CHIEF
You dirty little faggot! Call the
manager! I'm tired of listening to
this dogshit!
FRIENDS restrain the POLICE CHIEF.
CLERK
(solicitously)
I'm so sorry, sir. May I call you
a cab?
The POLICE CHIEF's screamed insults fade away...
DUKE (V/O)
Of course, I could hear what the
Clerk was really saying...
65.
CLERK
(IN DUKE'S IMAGINATION)
Listen, you fuzzy little shithead --
I've been fucked around, in my
time, by a fairly good cross-
section of mean-tempered rule-crazy
cops and now it's MY turn. "Fuck
you, officer, I'm in charge here,
and I'm telling you we don't have
room for you."
DUKE steps to the desk, around the raging POLICE CHIEF.
DUKE
Say. I hate to interrupt, but I
wonder if maybe I could just sort
of slide through and get out of
your way. Name's Raoul Duke --
Raoul Duke. My attorney made the
reservation.
DUKE snaps a credit card down onto the counter. EVERYONE
goes silent. The POLICE CHIEF GROUP stares at him like he
was some kid of water rat crawling up to the desk. The
CLERK hits the bell for the BELLBOY.
CLERK
Certainly, Mr. Duke!
DUKE
My bags are out there in that white
Cadillac convertible. Can you have
someone drive it around to the room?
ALL EYES turn to the gleaming WHITE WHALE.
DUKE
Oh, and could I get a quart of Wild
Turkey, two fifths of Baccardi, and
a night's worth of ice delivered to
my room, please?
CLERK
Don't worry about a thing, sir.
Just enjoy your stay.
DUKE
Well, thank you.
DUKE gives the POLICE CHIEF a polite smile -- crosses to the
elevator -- turns to face the GAWPING COPS -- pops a can of
beer and toasts them. The doors close.
66.
INT. HOTEL FLAMINGO - CORRIDOR OUTSIDE SUITE - DAY
DUKE rams the key home -- swings the door open.
DUKE
Ah, home at last!
INT. HOTEL FLAMINGO SUITE - AFTERNOON
DUKE enters. The door hits something with a thud.
A 16-year-old GIRL with the aura of an angry Pit Bull.
GONZO stands in the bathroom doorway -- stark naked with a
drug-addled grin on his face.
DUKE
You degenerate pig!
GONZO
It can't be helped. This is Lucy.
(laughing distractedly)
You know--like "Lucy In The Sky
With Diamonds."
LUCY eyes DUKE venomously.
GONZO
Lucy! Lucy, be cool, goddamnit!
Remember what happened at the
airport! No more of that, okay?
LUCY keeps her eyes on DUKE. GONZO idles over and puts his
arm round her shoulder.
GONZO
Lucy... this is my client. This is
Mr. Duke, the famous journalist.
He's paying for this suite, Lucy.
He's on our side.
DUKE flops onto the sofa.
GONZO
Mr. Duke is my friend. He loves
artists.
DUKE notices for the first time that the room is full of
artwork. Maybe 40 or 50 portraits, some in oil, some in
charcoal, all more or less the same size and same face.
GONZO
Lucy paints portraits of Barbra
Streisand.
67.
LUCY
I drew these from TV.
GONZO
Fantastic. She came all the way
down here from Montana just to give
these portraits to Barbra. We're
going over to the Americana Hotel
tonight to meet her backstage...
DUKE's voice rises above GONZO.
DUKE (V/O)
I desperately needed peace, rest,
sanctuary. I hadn't counted on
this. Finding my attorney on acid
and locked into some kind of
preternatural courtship.
DUKE
Well, I guess they brought the car
round by now. LET'S GET THE STUFF
OUT OF THE TRUNK.
DUKE fixes GONZO hard.
GONZO
Absolutely, LET'S GET THE STUFF.
(to LUCY)
Now, we'll be right back. Don't
answer the phone if it rings.
LUCY
(makes one-fingered
Jesus freak sign)
God bless.
INT. FLAMINGO HOTEL - CORRIDOR OUTSIDE SUITE - DAY
DUKE collars GONZO -- serious.
DUKE
WELL? What are your plans?
GONZO
Plans?
DUKE
Lucy.
68.
GONZO
(struggling to focus)
Shit. I met her on the plane and I
had all that acid.
(he shrugs)
You know, those little blue barrels.
I gave her a cap before I realized...
she's a religious freak... Jesus,
she's never even had a drink.
DUKE
Well... It'll probably work out.
We can keep her loaded and peddle
her ass at the drug convention.
GONZO stares uneasily at DUKE.
GONZO
Listen, she's running away from
home for something like the fifth
time in six months. It's terrible.
DUKE
She's perfect for this gig. These
cops will go fifty bucks a head to
beat her into submission and then
gang fuck her. We can set her up
in one of these back street motels,
hang pictures of Jesus all over the
room, then turn these pigs loose on
her... Hell she's strong; she'll
hold her own.
GONZO's face twitches badly.
GONZO
Jesus Christ. I knew you were sick
but I never expected to hear you
actually say that kind of stuff.
DUKE
It's straight economics. This girl
is a god-send. Shit, she can make
us a grand a day.
GONZO
NO! Stop talking like that.
DUKE
I figure she can do about four at a
time. Christ, if we keep her full
of acid that's more like two grand
a day. Maybe three.
69.
GONZO
You filthy bastard. I should cave
your fucking head in.
DUKE
In a few hours, she'll probably be
sane enough to work herself into a
towering Jesus-based rage at the
hazy recollection of being seduced
by some kind of cruel Samoan who
fed her liquor and LSD, dragged her
to a Vegas hotel room and savagely
penetrated every orifice in her
body with his throbbing,
uncircumcised member.
GONZO starts crying.
GONZO
NO! I felt sorry for the girl, I
wanted to help her!
DUKE
You'll go straight to the gas
chamber. And even if you manage to
beat that, they'll send you back to
Nevada for Rape and Consensual
Sodomy. She's got to go.
Pause.
GONZO
Shit, it doesn't pay to try to help
somebody these days.
A silence.
DUKE (V/O)
The only alternative was to take
her out to the desert and feed her
remains to the lizards. But, it
seemed a bit heavy for the thing we
were trying to protect: My attorney.
GONZO
We have to cut her loose. She's
got two hun | 
