GARDEN STATE
Written by
Zach Braff
IN BLACK:
AIRPLANE PILOT (O.S.)
(panicky; through crackly
RADIO)
Los Angeles Tower, this is
Transworld two-two Heavy, we are
going down! Repeat... Engines two
and three are... L.A. Tower this is
MaydayI Mayday!
TOWER (O.S.)
(through crackly radio)
2-2 Heavy, Pull upt Pull up!
The RADIO NOISE is drowned out by the A CAPELLA, SOPRANO
VOICE of a young Indian boy as he sings a melodic Hindi
prayer.
INT. AIRPLANE CABIN --- NIGHT
THE WORST NIGHTMARE IMAGINABLE:
SLOW MOTION: The plane is going down fasts Everyone panics
and screams in SLOW MOTION as the oxygen masks away like
plastic pendulums. The SOPRANO VOICE continues the prayer.
ANDREW LARGEMAN (LARGE), 25, is the only passenger who
remains unfazed. Even as the flames from the wing echo fiery
reflections on his cheeks, even as the young mother seated
next to him clutches her newborn and wails towards God, even
as bags fall from the overhead compartment at half-speed and
the beverage cart slides down the aisle, Andrew Largeman sits
peacefully; unaffected.
He calmly reaches up and turns his air vent so it blows
directly on him. He looks up to
THE FASTEN SEAT BELT SIGN
it BINGS as the light flashes on and off. The BINGING
continues more and more frequently; at first in rhythm with
the prayer and then it dissolves into the RING of an
ELECTRONIC TELEPHONE.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. BEDROOM -- MORNING
Whiteness. Morning sun streams through a palatial picture
window. THE PHONE continues to RING. A ceiling fan spins
above stacks of scripts, a cell phone charging, bare walls
and a small human figure dwarfed by the enormous white bed in
which he sleeps.
HIS BYES bounce back and forth under their lids as he dreams
like they're chasing each other in a game of tag.
THE PHONE is finally answered by the machine. Large's eyes
stop moving.
2
VOICE ON MACHINE (0.S.)
Andrew... This is your father.
LARGE'S EYES slowly float open.
VOICE
Hi, hello, it's uh. Look uh, you
don't call me back so I don't know
how to do this. If I can't... if
you're not gonna return my calls
then there's no way for us to
communicate. So uh...
'(starts to cry)
Look, I don't know how to do . this,
but you're gonna need to come home
now. Last night uh... Your mother
died last night, Andrew. She uhh...
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But she
uh... she drowned... last night she
drowned in the bath...
BEEP. The machine cuts the voice off.
LARGE'S EYES processing.
They elide slowly left, then back right as if scanning in
data. He blinks. He blinks again slowly. His eyelids float
closed. He falls back to sleep.
FADE TO BLACK-'
IN BLACK:
The RUSH OF WATER from the bathroom sink.
INT. BATHROOM -- MORNING
Large appears to stare directly at us. He's dazed. His body
is there, but his mind seems absent. He reaches to the middle
of the frame, almost at us, and pulls open both doors of the
mirror he's been staring into.
His face and chest are immediately replaced with the two
dozen orange prescription drug canisters that immaculately
line the shelves of his medicine cabinet.
He closes the mirror doors and stares at himself.
MUSIC CUB., ("DON'T PANIC" BY COLDPLAY)
EXT. CENTURY CITY PAVILION -- LATER
Large rushes through throngs of people on their lunch break.
He manages to avoid eye contact with all of them as he tries
to find an address while checking a piece of paper.
He boards an outdoor escalator and starts climbing thL-
stairs.
0
3
After a moment he looks to his right through a window into a
gym where a man on a Stairmaster is walking alongside him.
Large registers something: he isn't going anywhere.
THE CAMERA PULLS BACK to reveal he's been walking up on the
down side. He stands still and lets it bring him all the way
down, where he moves to the "Up" one and rises towards the
next level. His expression never changes.
INT. CASTING OFFICE -- DAY
A casting assistant sits behind stacks of headshots and
manilla envelopes while the PHONE RINGS constantly. Large
sits next to another actor that looks exactly like him;
they're even dressed alike.
ASSISTANT
Casting, please hold. casting,
please hold.
WE PULL BACK TO REVEAL: they are sitting beneath an eight
foot photograph of "Urkel" wagging his finger at the camera.
A slow 360 degree pan around the room reveals ten other
actors identical to Large aggressively rehearsing their lines
to themselves.
The ACTOR seated next to Large leans over to him.
ACTOR
We're whores.
Large looks at him.
ACTOR (CONT' D )
"I'm not a whore," you say. And to
that I say, "If you would do
this... that you would do ' this...
you're a whore." 'But it pays the
bills," you say; startin' to get a
little pissed. And to that I say:
"how do whores, how do you think a
hooker justifies what she does to
her non-hooker friends?"
(BEAT)
It pays the bills.
(READING)
"Codey, an extreme, special-ope
hacker with an edge.' What the fuck
is an "edge"? Can you explain
"edge" to me? Is it just messy
hair?
(BEAT)
Hey, wait. Aren't you the guy who
booked the retarded quarterback?
An overweight casting assistant enters.
ASSISTANT
Lukas Fox?
ACTOR
Yeah, hey Sandy.
4
ASSISTANT
Leslie.
ACTOR
(under his breath)
Fuck.
ASSISTANT
come on in.
(to the room)
Hey guys, we're only doing the
first scene okay; the "I'll cut
you!" scene. Thanks.
ACTOR
Good talking with you, bro.
(BEAT)
Peace.
We hold on Large as he swings his gaze to the actor on his
other side aggressively running his lines to the air.
INT. LARGE' S CAR -- DAY
Hazy and claustrophobic in stopped traffic on the 405
freeway. Large stares absently out the window as BLARING
SIRENS. compete with the obnoxious ramblings of L.A. TALK
RADIO.
Large suddenly squints his eyes and clutches his neck in
pain.
EXT. FANCY HOLLYWOOD VIETNAMESE RESTAURANT - NIGHT
Large pulls his car into a parking spot, throws "The Club" on
his steering wheel and heads towards the back door of the
restaurant. But something catches his eye on the side of his
car.
THE CAMERA PULLS BACK TO REVEAL: a gasoline pump nozzle
sitting in his gas tank with a foot of tattered hose ripped
off at the end. He stares at it, trying to remember the last
time he bought gas. He looks both ways and covertly pulls the
nozzle from his tank.
He walks towards the back door of the restaurant and throws
the nozzle in an open dumpater.
INT. FANCY HOLLYWOOD VIETNAMESE RESTAURANT - NIGHT
Large flings open the door and enters a long, dark corridor
lined with stacked chairs. He passes a WAITER in a black
TUNIC wearing eye make-up to make him look Asian.
WAITER
Dick head. You've got thirty-four
and twenty-five seated and Taylor
booked a pilot so he quit. You
picked a bad night to be late.
5
Large glides through the chaotic environment unfazed by any
of the stress. He rounds a corner to a time card machine and
swipes his card. The machine BEEPS and displays the word,
"LATE" in red. He crosses to a locker and quickly changes
into a black tunic and pants.
He moves through the kitchen which is whirling with over
thirty people in white: chopping, frying, sauteing, YELLING.
The Vietnamese chef wears a headset and BARKS ORDERS down the
line. Large is met by a FRENCH WOMAN MANAGER. She walks with
him as he weaves his way through the kitchen.
FRENCH MANAGER
(FRENCH ACCENT)
Ten resumes just today. They come
in everyday from Idaho or Florida
or Milwaukee and do you know what
they want even more than a guest
spot on "Everybody Loves Raymond"?
They want your job. This will not
happen again. This will never
happen again. You have two tables.
You are thirty minutes late; if I
ever say this again, your job will
GO TO:
She pulls off the top resume from the bunch she's grasping;
revealing a headshot on the other side.
FRENCH MANAGER (CONT'D)
Todd Slauson from Duluth,
Minnesota.
During all this, Large remains calm and unphased. He takes a
stick of eye make-up from the pocket of the tunic and paints
his eyes to appear Asian. (As do all the white, good-looking,
male waiters.)
He takes a small radio transceiver device from the pocket of
the tunic and turns it on. He unwinds the ear piece, pulls it
through the back of his jacket, out the neck and into his
ear. Immediately we hear a VIETNAMESE MAN'S VOICE giving
orders over the ear piece.
VIETNAMESE VOICE (O.S.)
(accented, but monotone)
Waiter number fifteen, your table
number twenty-three is ready.
Large takes a deep breath and pushes open the door into:
INT. DINING ROOM -- CONTINUOUS
A very fancy Hollywood Vietnamese restaurant filled to
capacity with a Friday evening crowd. The energy is
completely different from the other side of the door. SOFT
ASIAN MUSIC' plays, the room is very dim and lit by
candlelight.
0
6
VIETNAMESE VOICE (O.S.)
(THROUGH EARPIECE)
Waiter ten, you forgot the order of
forty-one for table one-o-one. All
waiters, eighty-six tuna special.
Large remains dead-pan as he crosses to a table with six
young, hot Hollywood types.
YOUNG HOLLYWOOD GUY
What the fuck, man? What are you on
break?
Large doesn't respond.
YOUNG HOLLYWOOD GUY (CONT'D)
Don't worry about it; I'm just
messin' with ya. Lemme get three
Kettle Red Bulls arid...
REELING GIRL
Can I have a Kettle Cosmo with Red
Bull, please. And some bread too. A-
sap.
LARGE
We don't have bread.
REELING GIRL
What do you mean you don't have
bread? How could you not have
bread?
LARGE
We just don't have bread it's...
we're a Vietnamese restaurant.
REELING GIRL
Well you're not Vietnamese.
LARGE
No, I'm not.
REELING GIRL
So?
(BEAT)
Well something to chew on --fuck.
Bamboo... whatever.
LARGE
I'll see what I can find.
He turns and walks off .
VIETNAMESE VOICE (O.S.)
Waiter number twelve, flight number
121 with non-stop service to Newark
International will be departing
from gate D-32.
7
ON LARGE'S FACE CLOSE as he closes his eyes and we:
FADE TO BLACK:
IN BLACK:
THE BLARE OF A JET LINER TARING OFF dissolves into
INT. AIRPORT BATHROOM -- DAY
THE RUSH OF WATER as Large washes his hands at the last Oink
in a very long row. He grabs his neck while SQUINTING his
eyes closed in pain for a brief second.
A moment later he picks up his bag and heads down the line of
sinks. As he passes each sink, he unknowingly activates their
motion sensors and each faucet SHOOTS a tiny burst of water.
The NASALLY VOICE of a WOMAN SINGING an off key version of
"Once, Twice, Three Times A Lady" with synthesizer
accompaniment.
EXT. CEMETERY - DAY
A large group of people are gathered around a steel coffin.
Atop the coffin site a framed picture of a tired looking
woman in a wheelchair. This is SARAH LARGEMAN.
We find SYLVIA LARGEMAN, the source of the music. CLOSE ON
HER FACE as the assorted palette of colored make-up on her
cheeks swirls together with tears until it collects on the
tip of her chin and drips like a leaky faucet onto:
HER LYRICS SHEET as a rainbow of tears splatter the words
"ONCE and "TWICE".
The song finishes and the rabbi begins a series of Hebrew
prayers. Large squints through the mourners to see his father
GIDEON LARGEMAN shovel a handful of dirt onto the casket.
Behind him stands CYNTHIA DILLARD, 25, a beautiful young
Black woman.
HIS FOCUS RACKS TO REVEAL two young men seated on a rusty
tractor smoking cigarettes about thirty yards behind the
ceremony.
WE JUMP CUT TO after the ceremony as Large weaves through the
crowd and approaches the two men. We see now they are HA-RKs
26, good looking in a dirty way. And DAVE, 26. They are quite
filthy, but each sports expensive jewelry and black
yarmulkes.
They look up as Large approaches.
MARX
HOLY SHITS
LARGE
T'sup.
8
DAVE
Holy shit!
MARK
Largeman, what the hell are you
doin' here?
LARGE
(EMBARRASSED)
Oh... uh that's my mom.
DAVE
Fuck.
MARK
Puck. Sorry.
(BEAT)
Well... welcome home-
LARGE
Thanks. Yeah. How you guys doin'?
MARK
Same.
DAVE
Same.
LARGE
Nice.
Silence.
MARK
Where the fuck you been, man?
You're like still acting and shit,
right?
LARGE
Yeah.
DAVE
In LA right?
LARGE
Yeah.
MARK
That's cool. I hear that place is
pretty tucked up, man. I got a
cousin who's a writer out there. He
says that place is mad crazy. Coke
everywhere, parties, horny-ass
bitches...
DAVE
Who?
MARK
What?
9
DAVE
Which cousin?
MARK
Terry.
DAVE
Terry's in LA? I thought he was
gettin' his GED down in Newark.
MARK
No bitch, he's in LA now. He's a
writer. He's writin' a movie about
snowboarders or some shit, X don't
know. I should introduce you to him
Largeman, maybe you guys could do
something together.
LARGE
Great.
DAVE
So what are you doin' tonight, man?
LARGE
Nothing... no plans. I'm just here
for a couple days... nothing.
DAVE
You should come out with us, we're
gonna head over to the Gleason's
house. He's having some huge
fuckin' party tonight or something.
MARK
Supposedly.
DAVE
Supposedly.
LARGE
Really?
MARK
Yeah, he lives up on the hill.
We're probably gonna head over
there right after we bury your mom.
DAVE
Well I gotta shower.
MARK
Same.
LARGE
Okay, well... You know I'll have to
see with all this... this.
MARK
All right. Well, welcome back.
10
DAVE
Peace.
Large heads back to his car. The crowd has dispersed.
INT. LARGEMAN HOUSE: LIVING ROOM - DAY
TIGHT ON: An enormous portrait photograph that fills a wall;
in it, Large (as a young boy), Sarah (not yet in a
wheelchair) and Gideon Largeman huddle together with a Black
woman and her young daughter (Cynthia) against a white
background. They all wear white t--shirts, blue jeans and no
socks. Everyone but Sarah smiles widely into the lens.
"Shiva" is in full swing as forty or so older suburban Jewish
New Jersey'ites of every shape and size mingle over small
food and small talk. The camera moves past several
CONVERSATIONS:
A heavy woman with gobs of make-up and lots of gold.
WOMAN 1
.Well you had to call her; she
never called anyone.
A woman in a white tennis outfit talking to a group.
WOMAN 2
This was a woman who never smiled.
An older man in glasses with cream cheese all over his lips.
MAN 1
Somebody ate all the lox.
THE CAMERA MOVES TO: Two very Jewish older ladies
simultaneously telling the same story to a group of friends.
LADY 1
The new thing is "Talk to the
hand."
LADY 2
That's what they're doing.
LADY 1
But you got a hold it out like
this.
LADY 2
Like you're saying...
LADY 1
"I don't have the time for you."
LADY 2
"So talk to my hand."
LADY 1
"He's the only one with time...
11
LADY 2
Like you're saying...
LADY 1
"I don't have the time for you."
LADY 2
"So talk to my hand."
LADY 1
"He's the only one with time...
LADY 2
"Time for the nonsense that you're
giving me.
Large site on a couch in the den next to his Aunt Sylvia, the
singer from the funeral. Some young children play on the rug
in front of them. Large stares off into space as she pets one
of the children's heads and looks to Large for conversation.
SYLVIA
Did you know your mother redid the
hallway bathroom?
Large looks over, realizing she's talking to him.
LARGE
What? Sorry. Who?
SYLVIA
Since I met her she never showed an
interest in anything. Then all of a
sudden a month ago she wakes up and
decides to redecorate a bathroom. I
helped her.
LARGE
That's great.
(trying his best)
I'll bet it was... fun.
SYLVIA
Well I sew. I made you something.
LARGE
Me? Thank you. Did you... sew it?
SYLVIA
It's a shirt.
LARGE
Great.
SYLVIA
I made short sleeves... you know,
for LA.
12
LARGE
Great. I'll wear it.
SYLVIA
Will you try it on nowt
LARGE
Now?
SYLVIA
Well just in case I have to fix it
before you leave again and we don't
see you for another nine years, I
want to make sure it fits.
LARGE
oh. okay.
SYLVIA
You're gonna love the material. I
used the leftovers from your
Mother's design. Gorgeous.
INT. HALLWAY BATHROOM -- MOMENTS LATER
Large flips the light on to reveal the entire bathroom is
done in the same floral pattern; everything: wallpaper,
towels, curtains. He looks down at the shirt; it's the same
pattern.
He slides his sweater off to reveal his pale, thin chest. He
stares at himself in the mirror for a moment. He tilts his
head to the right and stares at his body.
He pulls the shirt on and buttons up the front. As he does
his entire chest and person disappear into the design of the
room. He looks at himself in the mirror; it looks like his
head and forearms are floating in mid-air.
Large almost smiles as he makes his forearms dance around in
mid-air.
TNT. GIDEON'S OFFICE -- CONTINUOUS
GIDEON LARGENAN sits alone at his desk. Large enters.
LARGE
Hi.
G IDEON
HELLO-
LARGE
How you doin'?
GIDEON
"Well besides that tire. Lincoln,
how was the show?"
13
LARGE
You know I'm not really sure what
to say here, Dad, so I'm sorry.
GIDEON
Mmnn.
(BEAT)
Did you see Cynthia?
LARGE
From afar at the cemetery.
GIDEON
She's on call tonight; she
volunteers as an EMT for the Rescue
Squad. She's doing so well in med
school.
LARGE
Yeah, she's amazing. I'm really
happy that everything's working out
so well for her. She deserves that.
GIDEON
I have very fond memories of the
two of you running around here when
you were little kids like brother
and sister.
Silence.
GIDEON (CONT'D)
So how are you?
LARGE
I'm okay.
(SEARCHING)
I've been getting these pretty bad
headaches lately. It feels like a
quick little lightning storm in my
brain and then it's gone. I was
thinking maybe you could set me up
to get it checked out while I'm
here.
GIDEON
Go see Dr. Cohen first thing
tomorrow morning. Re's a
neurologist in my building. I'll
call him and he'll fit you in. I'm
sure it's nothing to worry about.
Silence. Large nods.
LARGE
House looks great.
14
GIDEON
Oh? That's nice. We've been...
doing a lot of work on it.
LARGE
Really?
GTDEON
Actually, no. I don't know why I
just said that. We haven't done
anything to it.
(BEAT)
We cleaned it for this; for this
whole thing. Janice has been
cleaning.
LARGE
The bathroom in the hall. I noticed
someone redid that.
GIDEON
Yeah. That's new. Did you eat? You
should eat. Aunt Sylvia put this
whole thing together out there. I
think there's enough food out there
for... everybody. I mean, more.than
everybody... there's a lot of food
out there.
LARGE
okay. I think I'll go have some..
GIDEON
There's dessert too.
LARGE
Great. Okay.
GIDEON
Cake or something.
LARGE
Great.
Large starts to leave.
GIDEON
I'm glad you're here.
Large stops in the doorway.
GIDEON (CONT'D}
Saying goodbye is important. I'm
glad you could... fit it in.
They nod at each other. Large walks out.
CUT TO :
15
INT. LARGE 'S BEDROOM -- DAY
A tattered, vintage American Flag site framed above the bed.
Large eases past all the shelves; trinkets, nothing seems to
mean anything and then
A PICTURE
Several people are seated amongst dozens of presents
laughing. A. seven year old Large stands with his arm around
a seven year old Cynthia. They both wear enormous "chicken-
foot" slippers and smile from ear to ear.
Large's POV: zooms into the face of the only person in the
photo not smiling. This is Sarah Largeman. She stands; not
yet requiring a wheelchair.
He crosses to the bed and sits down. The surface sends waves
,towards the pillows throwing them off the bed, revealing it's
A WATERBED-
A LOUD RING from a PHONE on the bedside table which appears
to be made out of Legos. He answers it.
LARGE
Hello?... Hey. No... Yes.
INT. THE GARAGE - NIGHT
Large pulls away a tarp to reveal a classic world War II Army
motorcycle with a sidecar. The corner of hie mouth raises and
holds the idea of a smile.
MUSIC CUE: "REMY ZERO"
EXT. STREETS NIGHT
Large flies through the suburban sprawl without a helmet. THE
MUSIC BLASTS.
The wind throws his hair back as Large whips through the back
roads. He's going really fast. He closes his eyes, flying by
a COP CAR doing eighty before he opens them again. LIGHTS
FLASH behind him as he pulls over.
LARGE
Fuck.
The cop car stops behind him and blares him with the search
light.
COP
Hands on your head, please!
LARGE
What?
16
COP
I said PUT YOUR MOTRERFUCKING HANDS
ON YOUR FUCKING HEAD PLEASE!21
Large does it. All we can see is a silhouette of a figure
standing amidst the blaring lights and swirling blue and red
colors.
COP (CONT'D)
Eighty-two in a twenty-five. Are
you gonna tell me your late or just
tired?
LARGE
I didn't...
COP
Shut the fuck up.
(BEAT)
You could have killed some little
kid or a baby deer.
He saunters closer.
COP (CONT'D)
You do have a license don't you.
Large takes it. out and passes it behind him, squinting. When
the COP gets it, he steps finally into the 1 ght. He's a
skinny kid, maybe 23, with a baby face!
COP (CONT'D)
Largeman?
Large squints?
LARGE
Kenny?
KENNY
Holy shit: How you doin' man?
LARGE
Great!
KENNY
Your mom just died.
LARGE
I know.
KFNW
I mean that's why you're home.
LARGE
Yeah... yup.
(BEAT)
You're a cop, Kenny?!
17
KENNY
I know, I know.
LARGE
Why, Kenny?
KENNY
I don't know; I couldn't think of
anything better to do. And it's
really cool though, man. People
really listen to you. They have to.
And check this shit out.
He pulls his gun out of his holster to show Large.
KENNY (CONT'D)
(POINTING)
That's the safety. Plus the
benefits; if I get shot I'm rich.
LARGE
Yeah but, I mean... Kenny, the last
time I saw you, you were blowing
coke lines off the top of a urinal.
KENNY
I had to grow up now, man, I wasn't
makin' shit at the fish market. No
one knew who I was. I couldn't get
laid. This is a much better
situation for me. Speakin' of
which, how did I do?
LARGE
What do you mean?
KENNY
I mean you know... how did I do?
LARGE
You mean like... as a... cop?
KENNY
Yeah.
LARGE
I don't know. I mean I thought, you
were a dick... so I guess that's
good.
KENNY
Ah fuck, man. I hear you're like
some huge movie star; you played
some big football player or
something. I didn't nee it.
LARGE
Yeah.
IS
KENNY
Fuckin' DeNiro and shit.
LARGE
What?
KENNY
fie ' s awe some .
LARGE
Yeah.
KENNY
Deer Hunter. We should talk, man; I
have some good ideas for movies,
and you could like play me and
shit. "Stories From the Force-"
LARGE
Yeah, definitely.
They stand there; nodding.
KENNY
So what are you doin' tonight?
LARGE
That depends, are you arresting me?
Kenny laughs.
KENNY
Shut the fuck upf Course not.
(BEAT)
But you got to put your helmet on,
man; leading cause of death on the
highway for males in our age
bracket.
LARGE
Okay.
KENNY
Wanna see my kid.
He shows Large a picture in his wallet.
LARGE
You got a kid, too? Wow.
KENNY
Everybody's got kids now, man;
they're great. It's like your own
"Mini-Me"; way better than my cats,
LARGE
(RE2 PICTURE)
Cute. Gold teeth?
19
KENNY
Wellthiswas Halloween. He was
"OL'DirtyBastard." Yeah, already
likesraplike his dad. So what
d'yousayyou were doin' tonight?
LARGE
I think I'm gonna meet Mark and
Dave over at some party.
KENNY
The Gleasons?
LARGE
Yeah, I think.
KENNY
can you believe that kids havin' a
party at that house? His brother
hung himself like two weeks ago in
his bedroom.
LARGE
Really?
KENNY
Cut him down myself. Seth. Did you
know him?
LARGE
I don't think so.
KENNY
He tried like three times. Finally
got what he wanted.
(BEAT)
Anyway... So okay, you get going,
I'll see you over there in a bit.
LARGE
Oh, you get off soon?
KENNY
No. But we'll be by to bust it up
by two. if it's crowded we might
get to wear riot gear.
LARGE
Oh, that would be great... to see
that. So I guess I'll see you then.
KENNY
Great seeing you, man.
LARGE
Yeah. You too.
Benny gets in his car and pulls up alongside Large. He picks
up the CB and the PA CRACKLES on:
20
KENNY
(OVER PA)
Pull over, the vehicle!
Kenny nods his head up and down to Large like "Isn't this
cool?" Large waves goodbye. Kenny floors the cop car and
BLARES the SIREN with LIGHTS FLASHING as be SCREECHES away.
CUT TO:
INT.GLEASON HOUSE - NIGHT
Largeweaveshis way through a raging, crowded high-school
styleparty:LOUD MUSIC, smoky, sweaty drunk people, kege-
Mostof thepeople are 18 to 21.
TNT.GLEASON KITCHEN --- NIGHT
A bunch of people are gathered around Mark as he tells a
drunken story. The group laughs.
MARK
holy chit look at this guy!
Everyone looks to Large at the end of the line.
MARK (CONT'D)
Get the fuck up here, bitch! This
guy does not wait for a beer! This
is a movie star! This is Jersey's
DeNiro and shit.
Mark sloppily hugs Large. Others slap him five as Large
awkwardly navigates between variations of hugs and
handshakes.
DRUNK
What are you doin home?
A beat as Large realizes he has to answer that question.
LARGE
I uh...
MARK
Press junket.
DRUNK
That's phat yo. Fuck yeah, Serpico
and Shit...
The crowd quickly moves onto other things.
MARK
(in a whisper)
You like that? That's
improvisation, bitch. You can use
it.
€¢
21
INT. GLEASON HALLWAY - CONTINUOS
They walk through the crowd as Mark recruits cute girls to
join them upstairs. They walk up the stairs past family
pictures and school photos made crooked by drunken backs.
Mark points to a photo of an awkward looking young man.
MARK
You see this?
LARGE
in that him?
MARK
That was him. Dug the hole myself.
LARGE
Did you know him?
MARK
Nah. Ugly motherfucker though, huh?
It pains Large to even try to respond to that.
MARK (CONT'D)
You want to see the most fucked up
thing?
They arrive at the landing outside a door with a "New Jersey
Devils" poster on it.
MARK (CONT`D)
This is the tucked up thing.
Be swings the door to the bedroom open revealing the dark
bedroom of your average teenage boy. A teenage couple
drunkenly makes out on the bed. The mattress has no sheets.
MARK (CONT'D)
Check that out.
Mark points to a hole in the ceiling where a ceiling fan has
been ripped out. Wires dangle. The fan lies next to the bed.
GUY HOOKING UP
Hey, get the fuck outta herei
MARK
Shut the fuck up. Who is that,
O'Malley? I'll beat your aael
GIRL HOOKING UP
Is that Andrew Largeman?
LARGE
(squinting to see)
Yeah, who's that?
E
22
GIRL HOOKING UP
Hey, it's Karen. Karen Dullia?
LARGE
(NO IDEA)
Oh, hey.
GIRL HOOKING UP
You don't remember me? You
fingered me at the Dinner Dance.
LARGE
oh hey, what's up.
GIRL HOOKING UP
Nothing. I saw you on TV.
GUY HOOKING Up
okay, can you please get the fuck
out now.
GIRL HOOKING UP
SHUT UPI
Mark pulls the door closed.
MARK
I can't tell what's more
disgusting; those two hooking up in
that room, or those two hooking up.
INT. GOLF ROOM __ CONTINUOUS
Everything in the room is golf. it is one man's wood paneled
shrine to the sport of golf: golf carpet, posters,
autographs, etc. A group of people sit around the couch
drinking beer,. passing joints. Smoky, dark.
Large notices JESSE, a wiry 25 year old in thick glasses.
LARGE
Hey, what's going on, man?
JESSE
bargeman.
They hug and pat each other on the back.
LARGE
I heard you're kicking ass, man.
JESSE
Yeah. You gotta come by my new
place.
LARGE
Yeah, definitely.
23
JESSE
Sorry... you know... I heard.
LARGE
Oh, thanks... yeah - thanks.
JESSE
That's fucked up.
LARGE
Yeah... So I definitely wanna come
by and check out your new pad. You
gotta tell me what happened.
JESSE
Basically, "The Man bought my
silent Velcro patent.
LARGE
What?
JESSE
Well you knew I was an inventor
right?
LARGE
No. But I haven't seen you since we
WERE SIXTEEN-
JESSE
Oh well yeah... I wasn't really an
inventor yet. Anyway I developed
this little item that's just like
Velcro but doesn't make that
annoying Velcro noise.
LARGE
now much did they buy it for?
JESSE
A lot.
LARGE
Wow. So what are you doing now?
JESSE
Nothing.
They laugh.
LARGE
Seriously.
JESSE
Seriously. Absolutely nothing. I've
never been so bored in all my life.
The first month I bought a whole
bunch of shit, but then that got
boring. But I... nothing.
24
LARGE
That's so crazy. But I mean like,
are you gonna travel or like what
are you gonna do? Shouldn't you
like help starving kids or
something?
JESSE
I'm not really motivated to do much
at all. It's kind of funny, I guess
I had kind of planned on my whole
life being about struggling to get
money. But now that I've got more
than I ever dreamed, I'm really not
sure what to do with myself. I
stare at walls a lot.
DAVE
Can you believe that shit, Large?
This guy has one idea and he's a
trillionaire. I got a thousand
ideas, but I gotta sit around and
wait for all my relatives to die.
They join the group. Mark blows coke off a large golf book.
Dave has a young girl on his lap. Large begins to notice that
the girls in the room, although quite attractive, are pretty
young; 17-19.
As he pans the room, he lock eyes with a BEAUTIFUL YOUNG
GIRL. They play chicken briefly to see who will break the
stare first. Large does and looks to his right where someone
has just passed him a joint- He hits it and passes it on.
MARK
Here, bro.
He passes Large the golf book.
LARGE
Oh no thanks, man.
MARK
Really? But you're like a movie
star and shit.
LARGE
No, no thanks.
JESSE
Well then here. Eat this.
Jesse opens his palm to reveal a tiny hit of E with a SMILEY
FACE on it.
JESSE (CONT'D)
Welcome home.
€¢
25
Large takes it in his hand and thinks about it. He looks
around at everyone else in the room eating them; including
the cute girls.
LARGE
I guess I'll see youguyslater.
He eats the hit. They laugh.
DANA
Should we play a game?
DAVE
other than golf?
They laugh.
KELLY
No, let's play Spin The Bottle.
The idea is met with mixed reaction from the group.
LARGE
(TO JESSE)
I'm not playing Spin The Bottle;
how old are we? or more
importantly, how old are they?
Jesse passes Large the joint.
JESSE
They're all legal. I think.
He smiles a toothy grin. KELLY, a young hot girl with a raspy
voice takes control.
KELLY
Well we just ate all this fuckin'
ex, what the hell else are we gonna
do?
JESSE
The girl has a point.
MARK
Okay, how 'bout this.
He holds up a bottle of Tequila with a ribbon around !.to
neck.
MARK (CONT'D}
First let's finish Daddy's golf
tequila. Then we can use this
bottle.
The group loves this idea- As they laugh and party the CAIa.ERA
FINDS ITS WAY to Large's face as he feels the weed and the
beginning of his trip. His eyes and face navigate the ha3mnv
start.
26
THE REST OF THIS SCENE WILL VACILLATE BETWEEN REGULAR, SPED-
UP AND SLOW MOTION.
The party seems to fast forward around Large; the MUSIC FADES
TO ONE LOW NOTE until it breaks with people calling his name.
ALL
Large!
He snaps his attention to the game. The bottle is pointed
directly at him.
JESSE
Largeman, this is Dana.
Large looks over to the sexy young girl whom he locked eyes
with before. She smiles at him. Awkwardness fills the room.
DANA
Hi.
LARGE
(snapping out of it)
Oh, who's up?
They all laugh. She gets up and slowly walks over to the
couch. She smiles nervously. Large stares at her. we see in
his eyes he's feeling more fucked up every instant. She
stands above him at the couch, then straddles him with her
knees on either side of his legs; sitting on his lap.
The MUSIC PLAYS.
Everyone is speechless. she slowly leans in. Eye contact.
They kiss softly enjoying every second. Its incredibly sexy.
HIS FINGERS CLUTCH HER THIGH
They stop and look at each other. She kisses him on the cheek
and gets up. Everyone reacts and some clap.
JESSE
This is gonna be a good night.
Everything SPEEDS-UP and SLOWS DOWN. A barrage of images:
people hooking up, girls kissing girls, guys feeling girls
up, joints being passed, one girl crying, Mark showing off
his golf swing, Large trying to take deep breaths, Jesse and
Dave hugging, two-figures moving quickly under a blanket.
Kenny in full riot gear letting people take turns hitting him
in his helmet.
FASTER : hands gripping each other, a nose on a neck, hands
gripping a waist.
Ecu s Largos face as his eyes swim in their eocketo s end the
corners of his mouth lift with the idea of a smile..
27
The motion of the room is sped to a blur until finally:
BLACKNESS.
A BLARING LIGHT comes out of the darkness. Morning sun
streams through a window revealing Large's face, full frame,
eyes still closed. Across his forehead in thick black marker
the word "BALLS" is written.
His eyes open wide. He has no idea where he is. His eyeballs
swing left, then right. As Large site up
THE CAMERA pulls back to reveal we are
INT. MARK'S LIVING ROOM -- MORNING
Large site on the sofa covered in an afghan. White morning
sunlight pries past the beach towels covering the windows to
highlight the duet in the air.
A NOISE in the kitchen pops Large' s eyes open. He has no idea
where he is.
Large's POV into the kitchen reveals limited glimpses of a
person walking around; like a hunter's amateur video of his
Bigfoot sighting.
He can only make out pieces: a sword, boots, then a cereal
box.
Then quickly the figure turns into perfect view: a medieval
Knight in full regalia. They make eye contact for a second
and Large slams his eyes shut. When he opens them again the
knight is gone.
INT. KITCHEN -- LATER
Large and Mark sit with CAROL, mark's mother and TIN PAYTON,
25. Carol is mid-forties and always looks like she's got a
cold or has just been crying. Tim is dressed as a Medieval
Knight.
Large and mark stare at Tim as he SLURPS down his cereal.
Carol smokes a thin cigarette. Mark is shirtless. No one
addresses the fact that it says "Balls" in black marker On
Large's forehead.
Silence but for the CLANKING of SILVERWARE and TIM'S
SLURPING.
CAROL
it's good isn't it.
No one responds, so Tim nods to be nice.
CAROL (CONT'D)
i always try to save a couple of
marshmallows for the very end, but
I can never make it.
(MORE)
2B
My mind wanders and I'm left with
flakes and pink milk. And yet each
time I pour a bowl I tell myself
that this time, this is gonna be
the time I'm gonna save at least
one.
LARGE
So, Tim, how long you been working
at medieval Times?
TIM
Three years. But I've only been a
knight for two. You have to pay
your dues. I worked in the stables
and helped in the kitchen.
CAROL
When I started he was making the
coleslaw. It hasn't been the same
since you got knighted.
TIM
I really just stirred it.
CAROL
Don't be modest. Mr. Modesty won
the joust last night.
LARGE
Congratulations.
TIM
It's not that big a deal, it's
fixed.
LARGE
What was it that happened to you in
high school? You had a thing, but
I forgot what it was.
MARK
He got the shit kicked out of him.
CAROL
No he didn't.
MARK
How do you know? He got the shit
kicked out of him by Tyrell
Freedmen.
LARGE
I remember that. That was sofucked
up. Why did he do that?
TIM
I fucked him up too.
29
MARK
He knocked your teeth out.
TIM
He said I bit off him 'cause I got
the same Jordans.
CAROL
What?
LARGE
That's right.
CAROL
Who?
TIM
Tyrell said I bit off him 'cause I
got the same Jordans he did. But
his were the red ones and mine were
all white.
MARX
Yours were red too by the time he
was done with you.
Everybody laughs but Tim.
MARK (CONT'D)
Air bloody tooth.
(BEAT)
So what are those, like fake teeth
you got now?
TIM
He only chipped one tooth. So what
are you up to now, Mark, digging
graves?
Silence. A SPOON CLANKS on a plate.
CAROL
Mark's getting into real estate.
Silence. Mark FLICKS open his Zippo lighter and lights a
cigarette.
CAROL (CONT'D)
Tim can speak Klingon.
LARGE
What?
TIM
No, I can't.
CAROL
Yes, you can.
30
MARK
What the fuck is Klingon?
LARGE
Like the Star. Trek guys?
CAROL
Yup. He can talk in their language.
TIM
She's kidding.
CAROL
No, I'm not. He's being shy. Are
you being shy?
MARK
Don't be shy, Tim.
LARGE
Yeah let's hear it, man?
TIM
It's just made up. The guy who
plays the wizard at work is a
Trekky. I don't really...
CAROL
He's being shy. Say what you said
to me last night.
TIM
No.
MARS
Yeah, Tim. Say what you said to her
last night.
Silence. Everyone stares at Tim.
TIM
I gotta get going anyway.
MARK
(SHARP)
Say what you said to her last
night.
TIM
Kuntar peteeky maya. Al fook soo.
They all stare at him. Then burst out laughing.
MARK
You've got to be kidding me.
CAROL
It means, "I like to mate after
battle."
31
TIM
(QUICKLY)
That's not what I said.
CAROL
Yes.
TIM
No, that wasn't the one I said.
This one means "kill Kirk" and also
'hallelujah" depending on the
context.
MARK
You must have gotten it confused
with "Pleej artulyah. Hagtooth
pleep."
Theylaugh.
CAROL
That was good, honey.
MARK
You know what that means, Tim?
TIM
No I don't know the whole language,
I just...
MARK
well I do. It means get the fuck
out of my house before I chop your
fuckin' head off.
Silence. Large stares at Mark in disbelief, then starts to
LAUGH. They all start to join him except Mark. They stop
laughing.
CAROL
Mark, he's a knight.
MARK
He's just a fast-food knight.
TIM
I should get going anyway.
He gets up to leave. But his sword gets caught between his
chair and the table. They all watch as he fumbles to undo
himself. He's like John Ritter at his finest. Large and Mark
just laugh.
TIM (CONT'D)
Thanks for the cereal. By the way,
it says "balls" on your face.
Carol follows Tim out. Large slides to the microwave door's
reflection.
0
32
LARGE
YOU ASSHOLE:
MARK
My Mom did it.
CUT TO:
IT. MARK'S LIVING ROOM -- LATER
Mark and Large sit captivated by ALLIGATORS EATING ZEBRAS on
TV. Large's forehead is now merely smeared with black ink.
Mark leans forward to pull a bong hit from a blackened,
colored tube. He coughs out his hit and reclines his bare
back against the torn pleather couch. Carol enters and stands
next to them watching the TV.
CAROL
What's this?
She finds a long, thin cigarette with lipstick on it in the
ashtray and lights it.
MARX
What the fuck is that shit, Mom?
CAROL
Where's this? Gimme a hit of that.
MARK
Don't bring those fucking people
here anymore, Mom. Or I'm leaving.
I'm serious. No Medieval Times
people in this house.
He passes the bong to his Mom. She smokes it, then sits down,
forcing them both to slide over. Several cats surround her_
MARK (CONT`D)
I'm declaring it. Now. It's
declared, now. Thank you. No more.
CAROL
Did you tell Large about the tapes?
MARK
No, Ma. I'm not doin' the stupid
tapes.
LARGE
what are the tapes?
CAROL
Real estate tapes. You can make up
to a hundred thousand your first
year. You should have seen the boat
this one Oriental had.
(MORE)
33
Be even had his own game show in
China he made so much money. I
think Mark would be perfect at it.
MARK
Mom, shut-up about those fucking
tapes. It's a scam.
CAROL
It's not a scam. They show you how
to do it. It's not hard, honey.
Then I could retire and we could
have our own game show.
Carol and Large share a laugh.
MARK
In China.
CAROL
In China is right.
LARGE
So... what, you like sell property?
MARK
It's bullshit. You were just all
baked,out and you thought it would
be a good idea.
CAROL
Well I'm doin' it. I'm savin' up
for those tapes. 'Cause I know what
you could be if you just applied
yourself.
MARK
I do apply myself, Mom; everyday, I
work my ass off burying dead
people, okay? I'm only twenty-six,
I'm not in any rush. What's your
rush for? Just let me be, all
right? I don't rush you.
CAROL
Well then I'm gonna do them then.
MARK
Fine. Do'em.
CAROL
I will and then I won't let you
come on my yacht. Large, you're
welcome anytime, but leave your
friend behind.
Large LAUGHS. She checks her watch.
34
CAROL (CONT'D)
Shit, I gotta go to my meeting.
Okay.
She stands up and then leans over and kisses Mark on the top
of his head.
CAROL (CONT'D)
Okay. Love you. Okay, bye Large
good to see you.
LARGE
Yeah. Good to see you too.
She gets to the door, then crosses back to Mark.
CAROL
Don't sit in here all day you guys;
I took the batteries outta that
carbon monoxide detector 'cause it
was beeping all night.
She slams the front door.
MARK
She drives me crazy. She's gets all
fried out and makes me feel like I
gotta impress her all the fucking
time. And you know what? I'm okay
with being unimpressive; I sleep
better.
Large site forward abruptly.
LARGE
Oh not What time is it ?
IT. NEUROLOGIST'S WAITING ROOM - DAY
Large rushes in to the counter. A female Hispanic
RECEPTIONIST looks up.
LARGE
Hi, I'm Andrew bargeman. I'm sorry.
i'mn a little late for my
appointment.
She looks at her watch.
RECEPTIONIST
(SLIGHT ACCENT)
okay, Andrew. I'm going to need you
to fill out this paperwork for me,
and we'll call you when we're ready
for you.
LARGE
Okay, thanks. Sorry.
35
He site back down and begins filling out the form-
The door opens and a blind woman with a seeing eye-dog
enters. The Receptionist sees her and calls out:
RECEPTIONIST
Hi Mrs. Lubin.
MRS. LUBIN
Oh, hello there.
RECEPTIONIST
Just have a seat and we'll be with
you soon.
MRS. LUBIN
Thank you.
She site. Large turns back to his paperwork. He fills out a
line before he notices the "seeing-eye-dog" has wandered over
to him. Large looks at him.
LARGE
(cold, disinterested)
Hi, how are you?
The dog looks both ways before mounting Large's leg and
proceeds to thrust his groin to and fro.
Large tries to shove him off. He looks back at the blind
woman who stares off in the other direction. Large is about
to say something to her but he stops himself.
LARGE (CONT'D)
(under his breath)
Get off. Off.
The dog thrusts away.
LARGE (CONT'D)
(TIGHT WHISPER)
Stop it. Heel. No thrust.
Finally Large gives up and decides to just let it hump away-
He tries to return to his paperwork. Someone BURSTS OUT
LAUGHING. Large turns to see a cute 20 year old GIRL he
hadn't seen sitting in the corner. She wears really big
headphones.
LARGE (CONT'D)
Got any suggestions?
GIRL
Kick his balls.
MRS- LUSTN
Ready for me?
36
The girl and Large look to each other, the receptionist is
gone.
GIRL
(IMPERSONATING
RECEPTIONIST)
Not yet Mrs. Lubin.
The dog humps away.
The girl comes over and sits one seat away from Large.
GIRL (CONT'D)
(SOFTLY)
Kick his balls.
LARGE
I don't want to hurt him.
GIRL
It's the only way to teach them. I
have three Dobermans. If I didn't
kick them in the balls regularly
I'd never get anything done.
LARGE
Yeah, but I don't want to like
destroy future generations of
charitable dogs. Besides he's got
to be close to finishing by now.
GIRL
Not yet, here comes the lipstick.
They sit and watch him go.
GIRL (CONT'D)
Oh, he's gonna be sore tomorrow.
WIDE SIDE ANGLE ON: the whole waiting room. Everything still
but the dog's thrusting pelvis.
RECEPTIONIST
Mrs. Lubin?
MRS. LUBIN
Yes.
RECEPTIONIST
We're ready for you.
MRS. LUBIN
Okay. C'mon Arthur.
Arthur immediately responds to her voice and returns to her
side to lead her into the office.
LARGE
I feel so used.
37
She laughs.
LARGE (CON2''D)
Thanks for your help. Or at least
your good intentions.
SAM
I recognize you.
LARGE
Oh, did you go to Columbia High?
SAM
No, not from high school, from TV.
Didn't you play the retarded
quarterback.
LARGE
(Wishing she'd go away)
Yeah.
SAM
Are you really retarded?
He stares at her.
LARGE
No.
SAM
That's cool. Great job, man. You
were- I mean I thought you were
really retarded. You were just as
good as that corky kid and he's
really retarded. I mean if there's
some kind of like retarded Emmy you
could win. You'd kick Corky's ass.
LARGE
I got to fill this thing out, but
thank you for... that.
SAM
Oh, okay. Right on. My cousin's an
actor. Jake Ryan Winters. I doubt
you'd know him. He was on "Sheena"
once as some gnome or something. I
think that's great though.
LARGE
Thank you.
SAM
Oh that last scene where you make
that speech to the whole stadium
and your Dad gives you the thumbs
up; that was - it was emotional. I
mean I didn't cry, but I think my
Dad did.
(MORE)
36
I couldn't totally see, but he got
up to go to the bathroom and I
think I heard him sniffle. Could've
been dander...
LARGE
Well thanks. Thank you.
SAM
So are you doing anything else?
LARGE
No. Not right now I'm just...
SAM
Any other retarded roles? I'm sure
you could definitely get more of
those.
LARGE
No, I'm just auditioning and.,.
SAM
I can't believe you're not really
retarded. Jake's not a very good
actor. I mean on "Sheens" you
couldn't really tell 'cause he was
in a hairy gnome suit, but he used
to put on these really low-budge
renditions of Andrew Lloyd Webber
musicals in our attic when we were
kids and they were awful. It sucks
'cause there isn't a whole lotta
work for little people, you know?
Anyway sorry I talk too much, fill
out your forms.
Large just stares at her. She's funny.
LARGE
What are you listening to?
SAM
"The Shins." You know them?
LARGE
No.
SAM
Oh are you kidding me? You gotta
here this one song, it'll change
your life I promise you. Oh but you
have to fill out your forms.
Conundrum.
(BEAT)
Well do it while you listen to
THIS-
She hands him her hugs earphones. The Shins' "flew slang" is
playing.
€¢
39
He looks at Sam and she just Stares at him and nods smiling.
After a moment, he takes the phones off and hands them back
to her. The SONG CONTINUES SOFTLY from the headphones.
LARGE
That's cool. I like it.
SAM
So what are you doing here?
LARGE
What are you doing here?
SAM
Waiting for a friend. You?
LARGE
I'm uh... there's a_..
SAM
Fuck, that was nosey, I'm sorry. I
didn't mean to be nosey. That was
so nosey.
LARGE
Its al=ight. I... I uh get
headaches. So I just wanna have
that checked out.
SAM
Cool.
RECEPTIONIST
Andrew Largeman?
LARGE
Yes.
RECEPTIONIST
We're ready for you.
LARGE
Okay.
He stands. He turns to Sam.
LARGE (CON' ' D )
It was nice meeting you.
SAM
You didn't. I'm Sam.
LARGE
Andrew.
SAM
(DISAPPOINTED)
Cool. well, bye. Good luck with
your head.
40
LARGE
Thanks.
RECEPTIONIST
Don't worry Sam, we'll get to you
next.
Large turns to Sam. She looks away.
INT. NEUROLOGIST'S OFFICE - DAY
Large site alone in a barren office. He pans around the room
staring at all the diplomas. His eyes follow them up from the
base-board all the way up to the ceiling to reveal: there's
actually one on the ceiling. The doctor enters.
DOCTOR
Mr. Andrew Largeman.
LARGE
Yes - hi.
DOCTOR
There's absolutely nothing wrong
with you.
Large stares.
LARGE
What?
DOCTOR
I'm just kidding, how would I know
that?
LARGE
Yeah.
They shape hands.
DOCTOR
I'm Doctor Cohen. What can we do
for you today, Andrew?
LARGE
I've been having these really
intense headaches. They only last
for a split second and then they're
gone. It's like a lightning flash;
almost like a surge of electricity
and then it's gone.
He looks at the chart.
DOCTOR
You're Gideon's kid. I didn't even
put the two together.
41
LARGE
Yeah.
DOCTOR
I'm sorry about you're Mother.
LARGE
Yeah. Thank you.
DOCTOR
I must have missed you at Shiva
last night.
LARGE
Yeah.
DOCTOR
So how long have these headaches
been going on?
LARGE
Well I think I've had them in some
form since I was a little kid. But
they've been getting more and more
frequent over the last year.
DOCTOR
(looking at chart)
How long have you been on the
Lithium?
LARGE
Oh uh, I've been on some form of it
since I was ten or so.
DOCTOR
And what about Paxil, Zoloft,
Celexa, Depakote; did any of that
ever help you?
LARGE
No. I mean I don't know. It's
recently occurred to me that I
might not even have a problem. only
I'd never know it, because as far
back as I can remember I've been
medicated. I grew up on it. I left
them in LA. This is the first time
I haven't had it in my body since I
can remember.
DOCTOR
Well it'll leave your body pretty
fast. I'll write you a
prescription.
LARGE
Actually I. was thinking about
taking a little vacation.
€¢ 42
DOCTOR
Have you spoken to your
psychiatrist about that?
LARGE
E)h well, my psychiatrist is my Dad.
So uh... he... I think he'd prefer
me to stay on it. He likes to think
it makes me happy. And I let him
think that because he's sort of
consumed by the idea of making
everyone happy.
DOCTOR
Well look, I'll examine you and
give you a Catscan just so you
won't worry that it's anything
serious. But to be honest, I think
the headaches are something else.
Our bodies do very funny things
when they're consumed with stress
and anxiety. Things you'd never
expect. I found my ex-best friend's
cuff links in my wife's puree and I
couldn't get an erection for a year
and a half.
(BEAT)
For example.
LARGE
But that doesn't really feel like
it. I mean I don't feel stressed or
really anxious at all.
DOCTOR
Well with all the Lithium he's had
you on it's amazing you can even
hear me right now_
LARGE
Oh, right.
DOCTOR
First of all, I do think you need
to find a psychiatrist that isn't
your father. That just's something
that should have been remedied
years ago. He knows better.
Secondly, I'm not in a position to
comment on whether or not you
should stay on the meds or not; I
don't know your story. But my
opinion, since you're paying for
it, is that those drugs may help as
a means to an end. But if you're
not In any sort of therapy, sooner
or later what's ever going on in
your mind will find a way to peek
it's little head out of the water.
Just something to think about.
(MORE)
43
,beat)
But, for now, let's have a look at
you.
CUT TO:
INT. CATSCAN ROOM - LATER
MUSIC PLAYS
AN OVERHEAD SHOT OF: Large staring at the wall as he lies on
a white slab covered from the waist down by a white towel.
AN OLD FEMALE NURSE straps him to the slab ignoring the
OBSCENE WORDS and DRAWINGS in black marker that cover his
chest.
THE CAMERA CRANES DOWN to reveal Large and the slab being
sucked.into the Catscan tunnel.
EXT. PARKING LOT -- DAY
Large drives out of the parking lot. There, seated at the bus
stop is Sam bobbing her head to music- She wears a backpack
and holds an odd looking helmet in her hand.
He pulls up alongside her.
LARGE
Why were you really there?
SAM
Charging. I'm a robot.
LARGE
Do you lie a lot?
SAN
What do you consider a lot?
LARGE
Enough for people to call you a
liar.
SAM
People call me lots of things.
LARGE
Is one of them "liar"?
SAM
I could say "no", but how will you
know I'm not lying.
LARGE
Because I`ll choose to trust YOU.
SAM
You can do that?
99
LARGE
I can try.
SAM
Who's bike is this?
LARGE
It was my grandfather's. It was the
only thing he left to anyone in my
family and he left it to me. And I
like it.
SAM
This is the point where you ask me
if I'd like a ride home?
LARGE
It is?
SAM
Yup.
LARGE
Would you like a ride home?
SAM
Fine, but I ' m not getting in that
sidecar,
LARGE
Why not?
SAM
Sidecars are for bitches. Anyone
who gets in that thing is
automatically your bitch. Thus, I
will ride on the back.
She climbs on the back behind him.
LARGE
(re: the helmet)
What are you like... a hanglider?
They drive off.
EXT NJ STREET/MOVING---DAY
SAM
I thought my boyfriend was gonna
pick me up on his bike, so I
brought it... But then he couldn't
so...
LARGE
So what, it's like one of those
tandem things?
45
SAM
No, its a Ninja. Way faster than
this thing.
LARGE
But what kind of helmet is that?
SAM
You can use it on a motorcycle.
Anyway, how's your head?
LARGE
I should live through the day.
SAM
Cool. Make a right here.
They stop at a light.
LARGE
Are you doing anything right now?
SAM
Can you elaborate on "doing
anything"?
LARGE
Well, I just had this idea. I
promised this guy I'd stop by his
house that's right up here, but I
don't really wanna stay very long.
So I was just thinking if you came
with me I could say I have to take
you home when I'm ready to go.
SAM
Wow. well that's pretty damn random
of ya, Andrew.
LARGE
I know.
SAM
'Nice to meet you. May I use you?'
That's the Hollywood in ya I guess.
LARGE
No, it's not like that, c'mon.
It'll be fun. I promise.
(BEAT)
I'll tell you what. We'll have like
a signal. When you pull on your ear
that's the code and then I'll say,,
"Well I've got to get her home
now." And then we'll go.
She mulls it over.
0
4‚¬
SAM
Can we have code names too?
LARGE
If you'd like.
SAM
okay. But don't try and like
kidnap me or anything, because my
step-uncle's a bounty hunter and I
could have you tracked and killed.
LARGE
Liar.
The light changes and they drive off.
EXT. JESSE'S MANSION'S FRONT YARD - DAY
The poorly maintained backyard of a mansion: pools,
fountains. Jesse stands shirtless and unshaven holding an
enormous bow and arrow aimed at the sky. The end of the arrow
is on fire. A joint hangs from his lips. Sam and Large look
terrified.
JESSE
'Kay ready?
He unleashes the arrow into the air and the three of them
scramble around in terror trying to avoid wherever it will
land. It plunges into the earth three feet from Sam's foot.
Frozen, she yanks on her ear; hard.
CUT TO:
EXT. SAM'S HOUSE -- DAY
Sam and Large stand on the front porch of her working class
house.
LARGE
I'll be fine. Am I the first boy
you've ever brought home?
SAM
(YES)
No. But I lied about my boyfriend
driving a t.inja.
LARGE
He doesn't drive a bike?
SAM
No, I don't have a boyfriend.
(BEAT)
He might drive a bike; wherever he
is.
47
LARGE
Well we're off to a great start.
SAM
okay so sometimes I lie. I'm weird,
man. About random stuff too; and I
don't even know why I do it. It's
like a tick. I swear, sometimes I
hear myself say something and then
I think: "Wow, that's not even
remotely true.
LARGE
So how am I supposed to know what's
real?
SAM
Well, I always feel bad and admit
them when they're lies.
(BEAT)
Can you trust that?
LARGE
Open the door.
TNT. SAM'S HOUSE: FOYER -- CONTINUOUS
She pushes the front door open and immediately three enormous
Doberman Pinchers BARK and CLIMB all over Large.
SAM
Down, Kevin! Mom! Kick their balls!
Kick their balls! Anthrax, heel!
Mom!
Sam tries slapping them on their backs.
OLIVIA, Sam's mother, comes rushing in clutching a hamster
with a bloody nose.
OLIVIA
Everybody downl Who wants to eat?
Do you want to eat? Well then get
the fuck off him! Kevin! Steven!
GET OFF[
She smacks their asses and they eventually retreat to the
other room.
OLIVIA (CONT' D)
I'm so sorry, we just don't have
the time to train' em. Who has time
to train'em? When they were
puppies it was cute, but now it's
like having a herd of Clydesdales.
It's just too much.
(MORE)
48
Kevin's the baby, he really just
follows the others but last week
Anthrax and Steven killed a dove
and left him on the front porch. Or
maybe it was a pigeon, he was grey.
'Member that, Samantha?
SAM
Mom, this is .Andrew...
OLIVIA
Welcome, welcome. The place is a
wreck, I'm so sorry. You look very
familiar.
SAM
He's the retarded quarterback.
OLIVIA
Shut up ! Oh my God ! You are the
retarded quarterback. You were so
good on that show. Now I'm really
ashamed. Look at this place. And
I'm wearing sweat pants.
(to Sam, through her
teeth, while nodding at
LARGE)
is he really retarded?
LARGE
No.
OLIVIA
Oh, tell me, what's that Alan
Thicke like? I've heard he's a
cocky son of a bitch.
LARGE
No, he's a really nice guy.
OLIVIA
Oh. Well, welcome, welcome.
Samantha I told you to take the
wheel out of the hamster cage.
She holds up a dead hamster.
SAKI
I forgot, Mom.
OLIVIA
Well you forgot and now Jelly's
dead. Luckily I got peanut Butter
out in time.
(TO LARGE)
We have to get the only hamster on
planet Earth that can't figure out
a stupid hamster wheel. Now the
rest of 'am can't even get a good
sweat going.
(MORE)
€¢
49
There's a shoe box on the kitchen
counter. You can do the honors. I
have to run to work.
She sighs and absentmindedly pate her forehead with the
hamster.
OLIVIA (CONT'D)
It was so nice to meet you...
Andrew right?
LARGE
Yes.
OLIVIA
Samantha put the clothes in the
dryer and bury Jelly.
She kisses Sam on the cheek and then she's gone.
They stand there a moment to catch their breath. Then they
both start laughing.
SAM
Come on in.
They walk into the LIVING ROOM.
INT. LIVING ROOM -- CONTINUOUS
Big couches with tattered afghans on them. A Christmas tree
with the lights on in the far corner; a few unwrapped
presents underneath. An enormous hamster labyrinth, a fish
tank, three cats, a bird cage.
SAM
So this is it.
LARGE
It's nice.
SAM
No it's not. You don't have to say
that just 'cause you can't think of
anything else to say.
LARGE
I'm not. It's really nice. It's
very cozy. You guys are a little
early on the tree, huh?
SAM
Yeah, well we never got around to
taking it down, so when it got to
be fall again we just figured we
might as well leave it. Are you
freaked out? You're totally freaked
out aren't you?
50
LARGE
No, not at all. I like it.
SAM
Wanna see my room?
LARGE
Yeah, sure.
They cross to the staircase and are met by TITEMBAY (Ti-TEM-
bay) a handsome, young Black Man in a sweater carrying books.
SAM
Titembay, this is my friend,
Andrew. Andrew this is my brother,
Titembay.
LARGE
Hi, nice to meet you.
T I T EMBAY
(SLIGHT ACCENT)
Nice to meet you. I'm sorry about
Jelly.
SAM
Oh, its okay.
TITEMBAY
I saved some mac and cheese for
you. It's in the f ridge.
SAM
Thanks.
TITEMBAY
Anyway, I'm late for class, it was
nice meeting you.
LARGE
Yeah, you too.
They walk up the stairs.
INT. SAM'S BEDROOM -- CONTINUOUS
We watch the locks turn as Sam uses a key from the outside.
Music posters everywhere. Warm, cozy.
SAM
This is it.
She puts on a CD, (the song: "I'm Doing Fine" by Colin Hay).
SAM (CONT'D)
Nothing fancy, but...
(OFF LARGE)
What?
51
LARGE
Uhh... It's Titembay right?
SAM
Yeah, it's weird, huh? You're so
freaked out right now, you're like
running for the door. You can go,
don't feel bad.
LARGE
Stop doing that.
SAM
What?
LARGE
That whole thing you just did.
Don't do that. I want to be here,
and I wouldn't be here if I didn't
want to be, okay? Trust me, my
family's way more fucked up then
yours, okay?
(BEAT)
Okay?
SAM
Yeah.
LARGE
So, Titembay.
SAM
Yeah, he's my brother.
LARGE
Is he adopted?
SAM
Well kind of. My mom adopted him
years ago from Sally Strothers. one
of those: For the cost of a cup of
coffee a day" kind of things.
where she's like, "How can you sit
there and not help the children?"
And we just couldn't. We couldn't
sit there and not help those
children. So we sent him letters
and pictures for years and then I
got really into ice skating and we
kind of forgot about'em. Then one
day the phone rang and it was
Titembay and he was at the dry
cleaners around the corner and he
said that he was going to school at
Rutgers and living in the dorms,
but since he was used to living
with his tribe he'd much rather
live with his family.
52
LARGE
Wow.
SAM
Yeah and he's been here ever since.
He's an amazing guy, you gotta hear
some of his stories. I mean this
guy struggled through so much
because he wanted to learn. I think
of what he's accomplished and I
just feel so lazy. He's studying
criminal justice at Rutgers right
now and when he was a baby he was
one of those kids with flies all
over his face.
LARGE
Wow. I mean that's great. It's a
crazy story.
SAM
That, my friend, is a true story.
I'm not that good-
A pause. Sam sits on the bed. THE AWESOKE MUSIC PLAYS. She
breaks the moment by pulling a small tattered piece of satin
fabric off the bed.
SAM (CO13T'D)
This is Tickle.
Large sits down next to her.
LARGE
What is Tickle?
SAM
Tickle is my favorite thing in the
whole world. It's all that's left
of Nannie... my blanket.
LARGE
And Tickle is all that remains?
SAM
Yeah.
LARGE
Was there a hurricane or something?
SAM
(LAUGHING)
Shut-up. No, I mean I had it since
I was born. it was the blanket they
brought me home in from the
hospital.
LARGE
It's like the Wailing Wall.
53
SAM
What?
LARGE
The Wailing Wall. It's like the
most holy place for Jews to go and
pray in Israel. It's all that's
left of this enormous temple that
was destroyed by the Romans.
SAM
Wow, so you're like really Jewish?
Large laughs.
SAM (CONT'D)
Yeah, you are aren't you?
LARGE
No I'm not. I mean I'm Jewish, but
I'm not really Jewish. I don't do
anything Jewish. I don't go to
temple or anything. But I don't
know any Jews who go to temple. The
Jews I know only go on Yom Kippur.
One day; the day of repentance. Did
you know that most temples are
designed with movable walls so that
on the one day of the year when
• everyone comes to repent they can
actually make the room big enough
to hold everyone?
SAM
I don't really believe in God.
LARGE
Just tickle.
SAM
Oh, I believe in Tickle_
They laugh. A nice moment. They hold eye contact. THE AWESOME
MUSIC PLAYS.
SAM (CONT'D)
We're not gonna like make out or
anything.
LARGE
What?
SAM
I'm sorry, I just totally ruined
the moment didn't I?
LARGE
No, I wasn't...
€¢
54
SAM
I just mean we're not gonna like
make out.
LARGE
Okay. I hadn't planned on...
SAM
I didn't mean to put that out
there, that was lame. BLAAAAHRH.
That was so dumb. You know what I
do when I'm feeling completely
unoriginal?
She stands up and does really weird gestures with her hands.
SAM (CONT'D)
LABA-LABA-LABA-LABAL
Large states.
SAM (CONT ' D)
I make a noise or I do something
that no one has ever done. And then
I feel like... unique again; even
if only for a second.
LARGE
So no one has ever done that?
SAM
Not in this spot, no. You just
witnessed a completely original
moment in history. It's refreshing.
You try one.
LARGE
No.
SAM
Come on.
LARGE
No. Trust me yours was good enough
for both of us.
SAM
Come on. What are you shy? This is
your chance to do something that
has never, ever been done before
and will never be copied throughout
human existence. If nothing else,
you'll be remembered as the only
person who ever did this.
He stares at her. She's not gonna let up. Large lifts his
index finger in the air and twirlsa it.
55
LARGE
ZzzZzz.
Be stares at her.
LARGE (CONT'D)
How was that?
SAM
Oh, I've done that one before.
She bursts out laughing. He smiles.
SAM (CONT ' t3 )
So I got to bury this hamster
before the dogs eat him. You warms
help?
C'AM' TO:
EXT. SAWS BACKYARD-- DAY
Rusty leaves fall on a backyard swallowed mostly by an empty
above-ground swimming pool. Sam carries the shoe box as they
walk around behind the pool to reveal
A SMALL GATED PET CEMETERY
About a dozen large rocks serve as tombstones for different
pets.
LARGE
Wow.
SAM
Yeah.
LARGE
I mean this is...
SAM
I know.
They stand in silence.
SAM (CONT'D)
It's not that we're bad pet owners
or anything, it's just that we've
had so many of them over the years.
(BEAT)
Besides some of these are fish.
(BEAT)
Not to say fish deserve less than
other animals, but moat people just
flush them, and we just don't
believe in that. I mean the idea of
flushing something that had life in
it... it just makes me sad, you
know?
(MORE)
56
You gotta honor something a little
more than that, like
"Congratulations, man, you had
life. Here's your trophy; a little
spot in the ground to hang out in."
(BEAT)
Anyway, I'm gonna put Jelly right
here next to "Goliath", the
Rotweiler Titembay backed over
during his driving exam.
She kneels down and begins to dig with a small shovel left
nearby. Large sits down next to her and watches her dig. A
brisk wind makes him hug his knees in for warmth.
SAM (CONT'D)
What are you thinking about?
LARGE
Now?
SAM
Yes.
LARGE
Right now?
SAM
No. A second ago before I asked.
LARGE
Uh... Right now I was thinking... I
was thinking that I've been going
to a lot of these things lately.
SAM
What, dates?
LARGE
No, not dates. This isn't a date.
Is this a date? Funerals.
SAM
Oh. Who else died?
LARGE
(EMBARRASSED)
Uh... that's why I'm home actually.
(BEAT)
Yeah, I uh... I haven't even really
told you that yet, but uh... yeah
my Mom just died.
Sam stops digging and stares at him.
LARGE (CONT'D)
God, it's weird to say that out
loud: 'My Mom died". And uh... eo
that's why I'm home... now.
57
SAM
(SHOCKED)
I'm so sorry. Oh, God I'm so sorry.
(BEAT)
And here I am putting you through
another one. I mean not that
Jelly's even comes close to your
Mom's. .. Although we loved, Jelly--
But still... I'm so sorry. I didn't
know.
LARGE
No, it's okay. It's okay actually.
I'm all right with it. Anyway I
think it's what she wanted so..,
SAM
How did she die?
Large thinks about that.
SAM (CONT ' D)
I'm sorry, I'm so nosey. Forget I
asked, I'm sorry. I just need to
shut--up sometimes.
LARGE
No, its okay. She uh... she
drowned actually.
Sam's jaw drops.
LARGE (CONT'D)
My Mom was a paraplegic; she had
uh... she was in a wheelchair. She
was uh... taking a bath and then I
guess she slipped or something.
That's what they say. I don't know.
But needless to say, she drowned.
And so... that's how she died.
Sam is speechless. Tears well in her eyes.
SAM
When?
LARGE
This was uh... Hmm... Sunday.
SAM
Oh my God.
Tears roll down her face.
LARGE
(with a laugh)
Why are you crying?
58
SAM
I don't know, I'm sorry, I'm not
usually like this. It's just so
sad. It's so tragic. Isn't it? It
is. It's like real life tragedy or
something.
LARGE
Look, let's change the subject,
okay? Let's really bring the focus
back to Jelly. I mean what could be
ruder than talking about someone
else who died while you're in the
act of burying a close friend.
Sam places the box in the hole she's dug.
SAM
What should we do?
LARGE
Well IIve only been to one of these
things,
(re: the other graves)
you appear to be the expert.
SAM
We usually say something.
LARGE
okay, well I'll go first. I didn't
really know you, Jelly. But from
what I hear, you were a good pet.
Had a little trouble with the
wheel...
SAM
its not funny. Jelly you were a
great pet.
Tears roll down her face.
SAM (CONT'O)
I'm so, so sorry I forgot to take
the wheel out of the cage. I'm so
sorry about that.
(BEAT)
Goodbye. I hope that you liked me.
Tears stream down her face as she shovels dirt onto the tiny
shoe box. THE PATTER of the SOIL HITTING the BOX is the only
sound we hear as:
THE CAMERA CRANES UP above them to a bird's-eye perspective
settling on a final frame that looks down on the whole
backyard: the above ground pool, the pet cemetery and in the
bottom right corner, Sam burying as Large watches.
59
INT. LARGEMAN MANSION: LIVING ROOM - DAY
Once again Shiva is in full swing.
Large passes through a doorway and begins to hear a
COMPUTERIZED SEEPING to the tune of the "Shma°. (A Jewish
prayer.) He looks to his left to see an electronic Mazooza on
the door frame. it says The Sharper image" on the bottom.
He moves his head back and forth past it's censor and each
time it begins the BEEPING of the Shma anew.
THE LIVING ROOM
A tired looking man in his 50's eating a cookie.
TIRED MAN
Avi wants his Bar Mitzvah theme to
be musicals. As in Broadway
musicals. Can you believe that?
Paul's kid's theme was the Meta; I
got to do the Elora with Mookie
Wilson. Miriam and I were at one
last weekend at the Pierre; whole
thing was like a winter
wonderland... live penguins wearing
yalmulkas. Now me, I got to lay out
ten grand alone for some asshole to
build a barricade of French garbage
across the boccie lanes at my
tennis club.
THE CAMERA PICKS UP LARGE holding a plate of food: as he
approaches Cynthia. She sits alone with a big photo album on
her lap.
LARGE
I was just thinking-
(BEAT)
I was just thinking you spend
you're whole life lusting for
anything you don't have. You stress
over money and your career, you set
your clocks back, you exercise, you
wait in line, you paint your house,
get depressed, feel better, buy
things, take your clothes to the
dry cleaner, set your clocks
forward and spend your whole life
waiting for happiness to arrive in
the mail. Then you die and people
are really sad, they cry really
hard...
(BEAT)
and then they go eat lunch.
Hetakes a bite of his bagel.
CYNTHIA
Oh please be a little more
interesting than that.
(MORE)
60
Please don't be the brooding guy.
That's so unoriginal. I'd rather
hold onto who I imagined you'd
become.
LARGE
Miss me?
CYNTHIA
No. Me?
LARGE
No.
(BEAT)
She didn't like being alive. She
got what she wanted. This should be
a party. Instead we're supposed to
mope. About what? She never did
anything.
CYNTHIA
She made you.
LARGE
some trophy. I do have to say I'm
impressed with the turnout.
CYNTHIA
What, you didn't think people would
come?
LARGE
Seems to me the only thing more
depressing than a funeral is a
funeral where no one shows up.
Don't you ever think about who'll
show up to yours?
CYNTHIA
No. Right now I'm alive, so I think
about living.
LARGE
It's one way to determine who your
friends are. The people who'd show
up at my funeral if it was held in
their state, that's one level of
friend. But my real friends, the
people who really love me, they'd
come if it was on the other side of
the country.
CYNTHIA
So where do I fall into that?
LARGE
You'd be there.
CYNTHIA
Oh you think so?
61
LARGE
I do. I think you'd show up because
the truth is, that you really did
miss met you always thought of me
as the brother you never had. But
you've got too much pride to let me
know that. You want to pout 'cause
I don't return your calls.
CYNTHIA
you're way more talkative than I
remember.
LARGE
Today I've been more talkative than
I remember.
CYNTHIA
What about mine?
LARGE
Funeral? Honestly? I probably
wouldn't travel for it- no. But
don't worry, I'm sure you'll have a
great turnout.
CYNTHIA
Why do you say that?
LARGE
'Cause there's also the guy who
lives his life to insure a good
turnout. I think that's how my Dad
lives his-, like he's sort of
writing his own eulogy as he goes
and making life choices dependent
on how it will sound in a speech.
CYNTHIA
Are you implying that that's why
I'm going to med school or
something?
LARGE
I'm just saying a lot of people -
not necessarily you - a lot of
people try and accumulate accolades
that will somehow justify their
lives.
CYNTHIA
It's said we spend ninety-five
percent of our lives trying to look
good.
LARGE
Where do I sign up for not caring?
62
CYNTHIA
How about sucking it up and really
having it out with your Dad? That
would be a tremendous step towards
not needing to look good.
LARGE
Wow, that was so clever how you did
that. Is he grooming you to be a
psychiatrist too? Med school's one
thing, but please don't become him.
CYNTHIA
He's one of the most caring people
I've ever met.
LARGE
well you would say that; you're the
son and daughter he never had.
Hell, you're the family he never
had. Has he got you on Lithium
yet? Wait till he does, you'll love
him even more.
He stands.
CYNTHIA
I bet my Mom a dollar you were
coming home with a message. I said
after nine years, he's definitely
coming home with a message.
LARGE
i looked for a message; I got bored
and became an actor.
He leaves.
INT. KITCHEN -- CONTINUOUS
Large enters the kitchen where JANICE, 50's, Cynthia's Mom,
is doing the dishes. He walks over to the counter near the
sink and just stares off across the room. She dries her hands
and moves to Large. She opens her arms. After a beat he steps
into her embrace. He rests his head on her shoulder and
closes his eyes. Neither says a word.
FADE TO BLACK:
LARGE'S BEDROOM -- MORNING
Morning sun blasts the entire room. Large site on the edge of
his bed squinting at pictures:
INT. MASTER BEDROOM -- CONTINUOUS
Large peeks his head around the doorway.
63
LARGE
Hello?
(BEAT)
Dad?
After shutting the door behind himself he' crosses to the
dresser and lifts one perfume bottle out from a dozen. He
smells the nozzle then brings the bottle with him as he edges
towards...
INT. MASTER BATHROOM --- CONTINUOUS
The bathroom is stark white. A large Jacuzzi tub sits at the
far end of the room. The faucet drips.
THE MOUTH OF THE FAUCET
as it wells with water and overflows to DRIP onto the drain.
Large crosses to the tub and tries to tighten the faucet to
stop it from dripping. It continues to DRIP. He stares at the
empty tub.
GIDEON (O.S.)
Hi.
Large jumps around and puts his hand to his chest.
LARGE
Holy shit, you scared the shit out
of me.
He covertly slips the perfume bottle into his pocket.
GIDEON
Just wake up?
LARGE
Yeah.
GIDEON
Sleep all right?
LARGE
Yeah... fine.
GIDEON
Mmmm.
(BEAT)
I haven't even really been in here
for a while. I've been using the
one in the hall. Shower pressures
awful in there though. It's by no
means as good a bathroom as this
one is. This one is- well we redid
all this. Its uh...
(beat, catching himself)
This is hard.
64
LARGE
Yeah.
Silence. The FAUCET DRIPS. They avoid eye contact.
GIDEON
Janice will make you some lunch.
LARGE
Yeah... good.
GIDEON
Well I guess it's breakfast for
you. What time is it?
LARGE
Yeah.
Silence. DRIP. DRIP
LARGE (CONT'D)
Look, I wanted to ask you... I mean
if you don't want to talk about
this its perfectly fine, but I'm
just...
GIDEON
No I can. I know. I figured you
would want to...
LARGE
But we don't have to do it now. I
mean you don't have to do that now.
It's just at some point I would...
I have some questions.
GIDEON
I knew that you would.
Silence.
GIDEON (CONT'D)
Occasionally she would hum.., your
Mother. Always the same tune and I
never knew what the song was. I
don't even know if it was a song or
if she just made it up - It's funny
because it always struck me as so
out of character for her and every
time she did it... I just always
liked it. But I never told her I
could hear her because I knew if I
ever did she would stop.
(BEAT)
She took a bath every night. And
she was always very quiet.
(MORE)
65
The only thing I would ever hear
when I'm in the bedroom was a
little splashing of water when she
was moving around. And every now
and then, her humming.
(BEAT)
so anyway, then usually she would
call me when she was done, so I
could come and help her out. But
this time, that night... she never
called. And I just figured she was
taking a longer bath or something,
but when I called out to her, she
didn't answer. So then I uh... When
I came in, she was there.
LARGE
So she didn't yell or...
GIDEON
No. I didn't hear anything. The TV
was on pretty loud. I always watch
the weather report before I go to
sleep.
LARGE
It's just weird.
GIDEON
What?
LARGE
I don't know, it's just that you'd
think if someone was really
drowning to death they would
scream. I mean really scream from
the terror of it all, you know?
They would splash and scream I
would think; I would have thought.
GIDEON
I would have too, but no. Nothing.
(off Large's look)
What?
LARGE
Don't take this the wrong way.
GIDEON
What ?
LARGE
I'm not reading into this, I'm just
thinking out loud so don't get
UPSET-
GIDEON
What? No.
LARGE
What?
66
GIDEON
Its not that.
LARGE
I'm just saying did they check? I
mean has someone ruled that out?
GIDEON
No. Because they know she drowned,
Andrew.
LARGE
I'm just saying the facts.
GIDEON
No.
LARGE
And I suppose it doesn't even
really matter. But I'd be curious
to know. I would like to know if
that's what happened; just for me.
I mean would that surprise you?
GIDEON
No. Yee!
LARGE
She made it very clear to everyone
she knew that nothing was ever
going to make her happy-
GIDEON
I know! Do you think I don't know?!
LARGE
And c'mon let's be honest; she
tried it before.
GIDEON
Shut-up! .lust shut your fucking
mouth.
Large is taken aback.
GIDEON (CONT'D)
(FIGHTING TEARS)
If nothing else will you please
just leave, her alone. She's gone.
That's it. That's all you get. She
died. We will never see her again.
She tried very hard, but she just
couldn't find it. She could never
find it. And I think - I know that
she's found it now. I know that.
And I know there's a certain amount
of guilt that you must feel for the
way things unfolded, but it's too
late now.
(MORE)
67
So I'm asking you, for me, not to
do that. Don't... come here and do
that.
LARGE
I think I deserve to know the
truth.
GIDEON
You want to make her crazy. Why?
Does that make it easier for you?
Tears stream down Gideon's face, He sits down on the toilet
and cries.
GIDEON (CONT'D)
It's like you want to torture
yourself or something! Why would
you want to think that? That that
happened. Why would you ever want
to think that?
Large moves closer to his father who SOBS with his head in
his lap and his arms over his head. It takes everything Large
has to reach out his hand and almost touch his father's
shoulder, but he doesn't make it and his hand lands on the
sink next to him.
GIDEON (CONT'D)
I just want everyone to be happy
again.
(BEAT)
I dreamt last night that I had
special powers. If I squeezed my
eyes shut and clinched my fiats
closed tight enough, we'd all wake
up in paradise.
(with a laugh through
TEARS)
I was like a superhero... and that
was my power.
FADE TO BLACK:
EXT. CEMETERY - DAY
A giant rusted yellow tractor sits parked by an open grave-
Large and Jesse lean against opposite tombstones facing each
other.
Mark stands in the open grave STEALING VALUABLES FROM AN OPEN
COFFIN. A small PILE OF JEWELRY sits beside the grave.
MARK
How could you leave all that
Lithium? I was totally gonna hit
you up for some.
FB
JESSE
This fuckin' guy. I'm glad you're
back, man, because this town is so
messed up. Everyone's got there
drug of choice like in "Brave New
World". Did you ever read that
book? Who wrote that? Aldous
something. Aldous-
LARGE
I don't know.
Jesse continues talking, but his voice distorts into WARBLED
NONSENSE AS
SLOW MOTION: LARGE STARES in shock as Mark drops a WEDDING
RING into the PILE OF JEWELRY he's stealing off the corpse.
MARK LOOKS UP AT LARGE STARING AT HIM AND HIS LOOT. THEY HOLD
EYE CONTACT FOR AN UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENT. Large breaks it and
looks away.
REGULAR MOTION:
JESSE (O.S.)
.and people are just like that
here, man. Huxtable3 Aldous
Huxtable. That's it.
INT. SAM'S LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT
Sam and Large are looking through a photo album. Olivia
enters with an enormous Parrot on her shoulder.
OLIVIA
Andrew would you like to see Sam's
ice skating tape?
SAM
Mom, no.
LARGE
Absolutely.
OLIVIA
She was so ahead of her time. She
could have gone to the Olympics.
SAM
No, I couldn't have.
OLIVIA
Yes, you could have. Don't blame it
on the epilepsy, you had a gift.
Large looks to Sam, but she avoids eye contact with him-
LARGE
C'mon let me see it.
69
OLIVIA
Let's just show him the "Florida
Stars of the Ice" opening; the
Gator costume.
SAM
Mom. I'm asking you seriously.
LARGE
Don't be shy. Just let me see it.
OLIVIA
Oh, she wants you to see it. How
could you not want him to see how
talented you are?
SAM
Were.
They cross to the TV room where they find Titembay wearing
rubber gloves, seated next to an open tool box, dusting the
coffee table for fingerprints and referring to an open text
book. White powder reveals fingerprints (and pawprints)
everywhere, including the TV screen.
OLIVIA
Honey what are you doing?
TITEMBAY
I'm dusting for prints.
OLIVIA
Well do you think we could move the
crime scene to the kitchen? I want
to show Andrew Sam skating.
TITEMHAY
But someone's been pissing on my
Gamecube and I'm about to close the
case.
OLIVIA
It wasn't me your honor.
TITEMBAY
The pawprints point to a canine.
OLIVIA
Andrew come sit down here next to
me.
Large sits next to Olivia on the couch between snoring
Dobermans. He places his glass of water on the table. Sam
stands in the doorway.
SAM
I can't believe you're showing him
this.
0
70
THE SHAKY, AMATEUR VIDEO comes up on the screen: a person in
a full alligator costume wearing white gloves skates onto the
ice. The lights come down except for a spotlight on the
alligator.
OLIVIA
There she is.
LARGE
You're the alligator?
OLIVIA
You can tell by the hands.
The alligator skates in and out of the white fingerprints on
the TV screen to classical music. We begin to see that Sam is
a talented skater. In a very odd way, it's beautiful.
TITEMBAY
Here comes the Double Axle...
OLIVIA
And... land! I mean come on. Isn't
she good?
Large, Titembay and Olivia APPLAUD. As they do, the LIGHTS in
the room SWITCH ON and OFF. Titembay CLAPS twice to turn them
back on.
OLIVIA (CONT'D
LARGE
SAM
LARGE
That was so good. You're Mom's
right you were amazing.
Titembay has begun brushing white powder on Large's water
glass revealing his fingerprints.
SAM
Okay this was great, but we have to
go now.
OLIVIA
All right, well I just wanted to
show you how talented she is. My
baby.
SAM
Mom.
€¢
€¢ 1
OLIVIA
Okay get out of here. Wait, Give me
a hug.
Sam crosses to her mom. They hug.
OLIVIA (CONT'D)
I love you so much. I'm so proud of
you.
SAM
I love you too.
Olivia kisses Sam on her forehead.
OLIVIA
Okay, have a good night.
She pats Sam's butt as she walks toward the door.
LARGE
Bye. Thank you so much for dinner.
OLIVIA
C'mon, you're giving me a hug too.
SAM
Mom.
LARGE
I'll take a hug.
They embrace.
SAM
Okay, good-night.
(calling to Titembay)
Night, Tim.
LARGE
Good-Night.
TITEMBAY (0.5.)
Rolla!
INT. BAR -- NIGHT
Sam and Large sit in a booth of a local Irish pub drinki ng
pints. They're buzzed.
LARGE
It was the only thing I ever really
liked doing; pretending to be
someone else.
(BEAT)
But I've been so out of it the only
parts I ever get offered are to
play handicapped people.
72
She tries to hold it together, but she bursts out laughing.
LARGE (CONT'D)
It's not funny.
SAM
Oh c'mon. Don't ya see that it's a
joke. If you can't laugh at
yourself life's gonna seem a lot
longer than you'd like.
LARGE
So what should we laugh at you
about?
SAM
I lied again. I have epilepsy.
LARGE
Which part are we laughing about?
SAM
I had a seizure in the law office
where I work and they said their
insurance would only cover me if I
wore "preventative covering".
LARGE
Preventative covering?
SAM
The helmet I was carrying.
Large is silent.
SAM (CONT' D)
Oh come on, that's funny. I'm the
only person in the world wearing a
helmet to work who isn't putting
out fires or racing for NASCAR. But
what do you do? I can't quit; their
insurance is amazing. What can you
do? You laugh. I'm not saying I
don't cry a lot, but in between I
laugh and realize how silly taking
anything very seriously is. And
plus, I look forward to a good cry.
I just love the way it feels.
LARGE
I haven't cried since I was a
little kid. I didn't cry at my
mother's funeral. I wanted to-
(A SMILE)
I... tried. I thought of all the
saddest things I could think of;
things in movies, this image from
Life magazine that haunts me...
nothing came.
(MORE)
73
That actually made me sadder than
anything; the fact that I felt no
numb.
SAM
What do you mean?
MARK (O. S.)
Vagina!
LARGE
Oh, no.
Mark, Dave and Jesse appear with some others.
LARGE "(CONT'D)
Hey, guys, this is Sam. This is
Mark, Dave and you met Jesse.
MARK
Hey. Nice to meet you.
JESSE
Hey.
DAVE
T'sup.
MARK
I'm sorry I yelled- 'vagina' just
now, I didn't see you.
SAM
It's okay.
MARK
Nice. Let's get fucked up.
Off Large's smile we:
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. JESSE'S POOL -- NIGHT
A palatial swimming pool in the backyard of Jesse's mans ion.
The Manhattan skyline twinkles far in the distance.
Large, Sam, Mark, Dave, Jesse and a couple of high school
girls from the bar stand in their underwear on the edge of
the pool.
MARK
One, two, three!
Everyone jumps into the pool SCREAMING except for Large. He
stands there staring at the water.
SAM
Hey! what are you doing?
74
DAVE
Largeman, get the fuck in the pool.
GIRL
oh, it's so warm!
SAM
Can you swim?
LARGE
'Course I can swim.
JUMP CUT TO. Large in the shallow-end doing the most pathetic
doggy paddle you've ever seen. Everyone stares in disbelief.
JESSE
Dude maybe you should stay on the
steps; I don't know CPR.
MARK
You look like a drunken beaver.
They all laugh- Sam swims over to him sitting on the steps.
She smiles at him.
LARGE
(in a whisper)
I never learned how to swim.
SAM
Fooled me. I thought you just had a
cramp.
(BEAT)
Or two.
He smiles.
SAM (CONT'D)
(in a whisper)
I can't whistle if it makes you
feel any better.
LARGE
There's a handful of normal kid
things I kinda missed.
SAM
There's a handful of normal kid
things I kinda wish I'd missed.
She floats on her back beside him.
SAM (CONT'D)
So how long are you gonna stay
here?
LARGE
Probably till my fingers get
wrinkly.
75
SAM
(with a laugh)
No, I mean in Jersey.
LARGE
Oh. I think I'll probably head home
the day after tomorrow. well, LA.
That's not my home.
Rer smile fades.
LARGE (CONT'D)
You know that point in your life
when you realize that the home you
grew up in isn't really your home
anymore? And all of a sudden, even
though you have a place where you
put your Shit, the idea of "home',
is gone.
SAM
I still feel at home in my house.
LARGE
You'll gee when you move out. It
just kind of happens one day and
it's gone. And you feel like you
can never get it back. it's like
you feel homesick for a place that
doesn't even exist. But maybe it's
like this rite of passage, you
know? And you won't ever have that
feeling again until you create a
A new idea of "home" for yourself,
for the family you start, for your
kids. It's like this cycle.
(BEAT)
Maybe that's all a family really
is; a group of people who miss the
same imaginary place.
They hold eye contact. The SPLASH of a CANNONBALL swings
their gaze to the others horsing around in the deep end. Sam
leans her head over and rests it on his shoulder.
SAM
Maybe.
INT. JESSE'S MANSION: LIVING ROOM -- LATER
An enormous and desolate LIVING ROOM devoid of any furniture
or decoration. Mark, Jesse, Sam and Large sit huddled under
towels at the foot of a colossal fire place that houses a
small blaze. They eat potato chips and drink canned beer.
They are all pretty tipsy. Mark plays with a "Silent Velcro"
sample.
MARK
How 'bout some fucking furniture
dude.
76
JESSE
I bought a chair but I didn't like
it.
SAM
Where is it?
JESSE
Its keeping us warm.
MARK
Silent Velcro. Lucky motherfucker.
I got an idea: loud tape, we'll
make millions.
LARGE
I feel like if I had showed up at
school and presented the idea of
silent Velcro they would have sent
me away a whole lot sooner.
They all laugh.
SAM
So why did they send you away?
She takes a sip of her beer.
JESSE
Whoa, listen to this girl.
LARGE
They didn't send me away.
MARK
You're the one who said they sent
you away.
LARGE
I mean they did, but... they sent
me to boarding school. "Sent me
away" implies I went to some asylum
or something. There were no straps
involved.
SAM
Why did they send you to boarding
school?
Large looks to Jesse and Mark.
LARGE
They sent me to boarding school
because uh... they thought I might
be dangerous.
(IMPERSONATING SAM)
Oh are you freaked out? You're so
freaked out right now.
0
77
SAM
(SARCASTIC)
That's funny.
(NORMAL)
Why did they think you might be
dangerous?
MARK
I'm dangerous and I didn't get to
go to boarding school.
LARGE
I was a kid and I was - they
just... I was a teenager and they
were depressed and it just wasn't a
good combo.
SAM
But obviously something happened. I
mean there must have been an event.
JESSE
You're like a little detective.
LARGE
I know. You and Titembay should go
into business together; solve
mysteries out of a van.
SAM
Am I being too nosey?
LARGE
No. No. I just... it's fine.. I just
haven't ever really talked about
it.
JESSE
To be honest, I never really knew
either. I mean I heard stories.
LARGE
You wanna know?
SAM
Yeah.
LARGE
Really, really?
MARK
You're gay.
LARGE
No. Drumroll... I was the reason
she was in a wheelchair.
(BEAT)
I pushed her.
(MORE)
78
(BEAT)
So there that is.
SAM
Shut up.
MARX
Fuck you.
LARGE
No, it's the truth.
SAM
Why?
LARGE
It was a complete freak accident. I
mean its one of those things that
you replay a million times in your
head and you see so clearly what a
freak thing it was. I... Say whole
life she was depressed for no
reason. Look at this picture.
He pulls the picture of he and Cynthia as children wearing
chicken slippers out of his wallet.
LARGE (CONT'D)
Look at her face.. That's how, she.
was every single day of her life.
And one day... I was nine years old
and I just really hated, her for
that, and I pushed her.
(BEAT)
I mean it was innocent. I was just
frustrated 'cause...
SAM
You couldn't make her happy.
LARGE
Yeah. Fuck yeah. And any other
time, she would have just yelled at
me and sent me to my room, but this
time, in that moment, the door of
the dishwasher was open. The latch
on it was broken and it would just
randomly fall open. That fucking
latch; it's funny how so much of my
life hasbeendetermined by a
quarterinchpiece of plastic. So
she fellbackover the door and her
neck hitthekitchen counter;
paralyzing her from the waist down.
Sam's eyes are wide in shock.
SAM
Oh my God.
E
79
LARGE
Still want to compare fucked up
families?
JESSE
But your Mom was in the wheelchair
long before you left.
LARGE
Well I was nine. They sent me to
therapy and my Father put me on
these drugs that were supposed to
"curb my anger". And I've been on
some form of them ever since. My
Mother who was clinically depressed
before the accident, sank even
lower to the point where she just
ignored everyone but our
housekeeper, Janice and her
daughter, Cynthia. And when I was
sixteen my psychiatrist Dad came
around to the conclusion that it
might not be the healthiest
environment for me to be growing up
in. So he sent me to boarding
school. And I haven't been home
since.
SAM
Until now.
MARK
For her funeral.
LARGE
Until now for her funeral. I'm off
to a ripping start in this life,
huh? Next time through I think I'll
lay low out of the gate.
He takes a sip of his beer.
LARGE (CONT ' D)
The thing is though, when I think
about it, I wasn't really
abnormally angry at all. I mean it
all happened so quickly; I got
prescribed all these drugs for
anxiety and depression and anger so
I just kind of became what they
are.
SAM
It sounds like a punishment.
LARGE
I think it was. So I left them in
LA. I'm taking myself off
punishment.
80
MARK
Please don't remind me.
JESSE
All he heard of that whole story
was "left drugs in LA".
MARK
Fuck you.
JESSE
Crackhead.
A 19 year old girl from the pool comes around the corner
DRIPPING WET_
GIRL
Mark? Where's the sauna?
Mark and Jesse look at each other. They race towards her
tripping drunkenly on towels and pushing each other out of
the way.
Sam smiles at Large. Her face glowswarm from the fire.
LARGE
What?
SAM
You're "in it" right now aren't
you?
LARGE
what do you mean?
SAM
My Mom always says that when she
can see I'm like working something
big out she'll say, "Are you in it
right now?" And I look at you, and
you tell me this story and...
you're... you're definitely "in it"
right now.
LARGE
I think you're right. I'm "in it".
But I'm so glad I'm "in it" 'cause
I'm working it all out, you know?
I haven't swallowed a pill in four
days now and I can already feel
this eerie clarity. It's probably
the reason I just can't stop
fucking talking; these.rusty cogs
in my brain have started
spinning... fast.
SAM
Maybe that's why you've been
getting those headaches.
N
81
LARGE
Alright can we just forget about
all that stuff please and talk
about good etuff.
SAM
Good stuff?
LARGE
Yeah, glass half-full shit. What do
you got?
SAM
I got a little buzz. That's what
I've got. What do you got?
LARGE
I got a little buzz going.
(BEAT)
And I like you.
Sam smiles and looks away. A beat of silence. She tries to
stifle her smile by pursing her lips as she turns back and
looks him in the eyes. She's so cute.
LARGE (CONT'D)
So... there's that. I got that.
INT. LARGEMAN SOUSE - KITCEEN -- MORNING
Large with bedhead in his boxers hunches over into the
refrigerator. He pulls out orange juice and closes the door
to reveal Gideon standing there.
LARGE
Ah! Jesus, you scared the shit out
of me. You're always doing that.
Why are you always doing that?
GIDEON
I haven't seen you in awhile.
LARGE
Yeah I've been kind of catching up
with people around here.
GIDEON
Dr. Cohen called. There's nothing
wrong with you.
LARGE
Yeah I think I'm starting to figure
that out myself.
GIDEON
when are you thinking of leaving?
82
LARGE
I think probably tomorrow. I gotta
lot of stuff I got to do back in
LA. I'm gonna have to find a new
job. So...
GIDEON
We need to talk.
LARGE
Yeah. How? I mean when?
GIDEON
what are you doing... now?
LARGE
Well actually I was supposed to
meet my friend Mark. But how about
later tonight?
GIDEON
okay. And well talk. we owe that
to each other.
LARGE
Yeah.
GIDEON
We owe it to her.
LARGE
Yeah.
GIDEON
Good.
(BEAT)
I'm sorry I scared you.
CUT TO
INT. MARK'S BEDROOM -- MORNING
Mark sits on his sheetlese mattress on the floor, playing
classical guitar; impressively. His MUSIC scores the scene.
MARX
Don't mesa with all my shit; what
are you. doing?
Large picks up a small brown egg wearing tiny clothes.
LARGE
You still have your egg baby? Mine
broke the first day.
MARK
Don't you fail if it breaks?
83
LARGE
Yeah, well she gave us a C cause my
partner fell on some ice. My-wife
tell on some ice and killed our egg
baby.
MARK
Jesse cooked his.
They both laugh.
LARGE
Why's it brown?
MARK
'Cause my wife was Tanisha Lubin.
LARGE
Oh.
Large laughs at Mark's earnestness.
LARGE (CONT'D)
You kept her little blue skirt on.
MARK
He's a boy. His name's Shantel.
€¢
LARGE
It's a girl, she's wearin' a skirt.
MARK
They're shorts.
LARGE
Shorts?
MARK
Yeah, he's a boy, Shantel. They're
shorts.
LARGE
Oh.
They laugh. Large flips through an album.
LARGE (CONT'D)
You collect "Desert Storm Trading
Cards"?
MARK
Fuck yeah, dude. Those are
collectors items. Do you have any
idea how much those things will be
worth some day.
84
LARGE
Really?
MARK
Hell yeah. That shit's like an
investment. I have lots of little
investments - all over the place.
I'm gonna sel3. 'em all one day and
just live off 'em.
LARGE
So like how much is this one worth?
MARK
Which?
LARGE
"Night Vision Goggles."
MARK
I don't know. Mint; maybe two,
three.
LARGE
Dollars?
MARK
Yeah. But it's too early. You don't
sell'em yet. Don't you know
anything about investing. I'm gonna
live off that shit. That
"Schwarzkopf" card is worth at
least five something. And if you
have the complete set it's worth
like thousands.
LARGE
So do you have the complete set?
MARK
Almost. The corners are bent on my
"Friendly Fire" and someone stole
my "Wolf Blitzer".
LARGE
Someone stole it?
MARK
One of my Mom's Medieval Times
friends, man. Drug addicts.
LARGE
For drugs they sold it?
MARK
Yeah.
LARGE
Wolf Blitzer.
85
MARK
It doesn't matter if you're a rich
house wife looking for your muscle
relaxers or some crack head drying
cars: people will do anything in
this town to get their drug money.
Now look, what do you gotta do
today? I gotta little going away
present for you. But I kinds gotta
track it down. So, can you give me
a ride?
LARGE
Yeah, sure I just...
MARK
What?
LARGE
Nothing I just...
MARK
Say it... speak.
LARGE
Nothing I just, I told Sam I was
gonna hang out with her today...
MARK
She can come, I don't care.
EXT. SUBURBAN STREETS- DAY
GREAT MUSIC PLAYS.
They drive the motorcycle through the Jersey suburbs; Sate on
the back and Mark in the sidecar wearing a lacrosse helmet
and ski goggles.
LARGE'S POV: A mother and her stroller. A huge group of Black
teenagers coming home from school. An old crossing guard. An
ambulance. Two powerwalkere.
OMIT
INT. HANDI-WORLD - LATER
They walk down an aisle.
LARGE
What are we doing in the mall.
I don't wanna be in the fucking
mall.
86
MARK
We're making some money for your
present. Just don't look so guilty.
LARGE
What do you mean, how do I look
guilty?
VOICE (0.S.)
Andrew Largeman?
They turn. KARL BENSON, greasy hair wearing a wrinkled, red
"Nandi--World" vest and dirty pants stands holding a small
box.
MARK
Oh, no. Benson.
LARGE
Oh, no.
SAM
Who's that?
MARK
Don't give him your number.
Karl approaches.
KARL
Hey, what's up, man.
LARGE
Hey.
KARL
Holy shit, I haven't seen you since
like junior year.
LARGE
I know.
KARL
I thought you killed yourself.
LARGE
What?
KARL
I thought you killed yourself, that
wasn't you?
LARGE
(BEAT)
No. That wasn't me?
KARL
Who killed themselves?
87
MARK
Just that Gleason kid. Oh, and
Tina.
LARGE
Tina who?
MARK
You remember Tina. She was like
anorexic. She did gymnastics...
Sam is horrified by this conversation.
LARGE
oh yeah, gymnastics Tina. How'd she
do it?
MARK
I don't know. She wasn't Jewish, I
didn't bury her.
KARL
I think sleeping pills. or that car
in the garage thing. I forgot.
Sam is yanking on her ear for Large to see, but he doesn't
notice.
LARGE
This is Sam. Sam this is Karl.
SAM
Hey.
MARK
Listen I'm gonna go grab that
thing. So just hang here and I'll
be back.
LARGE
Oh.
He walks off.
KARL
He's such a dick.'
LARGE
Why'd you say that?
KARL
He stole my little brother's last
dose of Ritalin and the little
fucker glued his lips closed.
Weren't you on TV or something?
LARGE
Yeah. Yeah I was. Just this thing.
So you're like what, working here?
88
KARL
(DISMISSIVE)
Only for awhile I'm opening my own
business. Actually, I should tell
you about it. I'm looking for smart
people like you, Large. I should
get your number.
LARGE
Yeah, definitely.
(BEAT)
So what 'a in the box.
KARL
Oh, washers. I'm s'posed to
count'em.
LARGE
Washers?
KARL
(picking one out)
You know these little round metal
things you put between a bolt and a
nut.
LARGE
Oh, washers. I never use those. I
never knew what they were for, so. I
just always threw them away. I
never used washers.
Silence.
KARL
Oh, well listen, I want to talk to
you both about a good opportunity.
(like he's memorized it
LAST NIGHT)
For you and your loved ones. We all
have dreams. I know I do. I know
of an exciting opportunity that
people are talking about.
Mark returns holding a box with a picture of steak knives on
the side.
MARK
Hey. We gotta get going.
LARGE
Yeah, well it was great to see you,
man. I'm sure I'll see you around.
KARL
Yeah, well let me get your number.
89
LARGE
oh, well we gotta run. I'm listed.
Just call information. It's been so
long since I've been home I don't
even remember it.
SAM
Nice meeting you.
INT. HANDI-WORLD CHECKOUT -- CONTINUOUS
MARK
Why is it always the losers who get
into the pyramid schemes? Why isn't
it ever some charming hot girl
nagging you incessantly to buy
shit?
LARGE
Oh, is that what it is?
MARK
Detergent or some shit. The thing I
don't understand is, if it worked,
why would he be working here. The
guy's a freak; he pops Darvocet
like it's Ritalin.
LARGE
Why are you buying knives? I don't
need knives.
They arrive at the counter. A young Black woman with enormous
gold earrings and long fingernails stands at the register.
MARK
I'd like to return these.
WOMAN
You got a receipt.
MARK
Actually, no. It was a gift.
She clicks her tongue. She begins filling out a form.
WOMAN
Why are you returning these?
MARK
They're not sharp enough.
WOMAN
They're not sharp enough?
MARK
No. Not for what we need them for.
They couldn't cut cans.
90
WOMAN
You bought them to cut cans?
MARK
No, but in the commercial they say
that if I wanted to cut cans I
could. But with these knives I
can't.
WOMAN
Well it comes with a sharpener. Did
you try it?
MARK
Yeah, they're just... I don't want
them; not sharp enough.
She rings it into the register and counts out bills to Mark.
WOMAN
Thirty-nine, fifty-three. I hope we
came in handy at Handi-World.
Please come again.
They exit the store and enter the mall.
EXT. MALL - DAY
They walk past stacks of lumber.
MARK
A major loop-hole in the Handi-
World return policy permits returns
without receipts on items below
forty dollars.
LARGE
So how often do you go?
MARK
I hit every employee once, then
wait for them to. hire. new ones.
Luckily, no one works at Handi-
World for very long. Except Karl
Benson.
LARGE
You know, Mark, it's my last day in
town. I have money. I can give you
some.
MARK
I don't need your money, I'm making
my own right now.
LARGE
Or fuck, take Jesse's - the guys a
millionaire.
91
Mark stops and looks at Large in the eyes.
MARK
i don't take anybody's money,
Andrew. I make my own. Favors are
bad news. And the only thing worse
than a favor, is a favor involving
money.
EXT. RESCUE SQUAD -- LATER
The motorcycle pulls up behind two ambulances being cleaned
with hoses. Large sees Cynthia changing the sheets on a
stretcher. They climb off.
MARK
This will only take a second.
(TO CYNTHIA)
Is Aaron here?
CYNTHIA
LARGE
CYNTHIA
LARGE
This is Sam.
SAM
Hi.
CYNTHIA
Hey.
LARGE `
(re: the stretcher)
Did he live?
CYNTHIA
She... had an eight pound boy.
SAM
You delivered him?
CYNTHIA
Yeah.
SAM
Wow.
CYNTHIA
Yeah.
(TO LARGE)
What are you doing here?
92
LARGE
Mark's picking up something.
CYNTHIA
He's as friendly as always.
The three stand in awkward silence.
CYNTHIA (CONT'D)
Help me with this.
He stands at the other end of the stretcher as she gu des him
through making it.
CYNTHIA (CONT'D)
Grab that one... over... once
more... good. That side... crease
the corner. . .under.. .good. Same
thing on this one... Voila.
LARGE
So were you there?
CYNTHIA
Where?
LARGE
Were you on the call to my uh... to
the house?
CYNTHIA
No.
LARGE
Ch.
CYNTHIA
Do you wish I was?
LARGE
Yeah.
(BEAT)
She loved you_
Mark exits carrying a large gym bag.
MARK
Got it, let's go.
SAM
Nice to meet you.
CYNTHIA
You too.
Sam leaves them alone.
LARGE
I should go.
93
CYNTHIA
(SOFTLY)
Youknow, Andrew, the hour will
comeone day when you atop avoiding
allthe people that love you.And
whenit does I sure hope youcome
findme... 'cause I'd love toknow
whoyou are.
He backs away.
LARGE
You know me enough to know I'd
travel for your funeral right? I
was kidding yesterday; where ever
it was... you know I'd be there
right?
CYNTHIA
Yes.
He backs away and mounts his bike. Cynthia turns to the
stretcher and quickly uses her thumb to swipe a tear,welling
in her eye.
INT. HOLIDAY INN EXPRESS/ROUTE 22 --- MORNING
Mark, Sam and Large enter the tacky lobby. Mark carries the
gym bag.
Large and Sam follow Mark down a corridor and into a vending
machine room. He opens a door labeled "Private" into a
kitchen area. They weave through the kitchen down another
hall...
INT. BACK ROOM -- CONTINUOUS
They arrive at a locked door. Mark knocks.
After a beat it's opened by an Asian teenager with bad acne
blasting his walkman. The far wall is entirely covered with a
blown-up mural of a New Jersey Driver's License used for
making fake ID's. The space where the face would go is
missing, revealing an opening in the wall. They climb
through.
INT. SECRET HALLWAY -- CONTINUOUS
DURING THE FOLLOWING SCENE, THE CHARACTERS WILL ONLY WHISPER
IN EACH OTHER'S EARS. WE WILL ONLY KNOW WHAT THEY ' RE SAYING
FROM SUBTITLES.
They squeeze down a long dark corridor filled with graffiti.
They come upon a young teen staring through a peep hole in
the wall. Mark taps him on the shoulder. He turns his head
and nods in recognition.
When he pulls away from the peep hole, the LIGHT PROJECTS THE
IMAGE OF THE MOTEL ROOM ON HIS FACE .
94
(Yes, that really happens.) As he looks at Mark, Sam and
Large, his forehead is filled with the image of a BUSINESS
MAN brushing his teeth. Mark leans into his ear.
MARK
(SUBTITLED)
Where's Diego?
TEEN
(SUBTITLED)
Down the hall. There's a hooker in
room 112.. It's crazy down there. I
figured I'd just chill with this.
SLOW MOTION: Mark gestures for Large and Sam to follow him
down the hall. The hall is strewn with young men staring
into peep holes. As Mark, Sam and Large pass them, the
Peeping Tom's each turn to see who it is.
As they turn, each one has the image of what they're watching
projected on their face. We hear the ECHOES of the SOUNDS
FROM the ROOMS.
-- An old couple slow dancing projected on another teen.
REGULAR MOTION: They arrive at the end of the hall where a
group of six young guys are glued to the image being
projected onto the wall opposite the peep hole. An old camera
lens has been ducked taped to the peep hole causing the image
to appear in perfect focus.
The projection shows a very hot, YOUNG HOOKER getting taken
from behind by an OLDER GREASEBALL. Her face is no more than
three feet from the peep hole. The HOOKER'S MUFFLED MOANING
can be heard from the other side of the wall.
Everyone's eyes are glued to the wall. Large notices one kid
has duct tape over his mouth, while another is sweating
profusely. Sam's jaw is dropped open.
GRBASESALL (0.5.)
I'm fucking you! I'm fucking you.
Large notices another kid lip-synching along with the
Greaseball. Mark spots DIEGO, a Hispanic guy, 32, wearing a
bell-hop uniform and gestures him closer.
MARK
(SUBTITLED)
T'sup dog? She's fuckin' hot.
DIEGO
(SUBTITLED)
This is the most exciting day of my
life. We've never had anything
close to this.
MARK
I've got that Nitrous tank for you,
so can I get that info?
€¢
95
DIEGO
You're gonna have to wait a couple.
The HOOKER MOANS.
GREASEBALL (O.S.)
Who's fuckin' you? Hub? Who's
fuckin' you?
The Lip-Synching Kid mouths, "You are."
MARK
Dude we're kind of in a rush.
DIEGO
You can wait, he's about to cunt.
GREASEBALL
I'm gonna fucking cum!
Diegogestures, "Told you."
HOOKER
Cum on my back!
The group responds in silent shock. Jaws drop, Diego grabs
his hair with his fists. Just as they are about to climax, we
CUT TO:
INT. OUTER ROOM --- DAY
Mark, Diego, Large, Sam and others rush out into the outer
room.They speak in quiet whispers.
DIEGO
HOLY SHIT3
MARK
Wow.
DIEGO
That shit was hot! I got to go drop
some knowledge on that ho.
SAM
How do you know she's a hooker?
DIEGO
of course she's a fucking hooker.
Girls that look like her do not
fuck guys that look like him unless
it's for money, coke or fame.
SAM
Julia Roberts married Lyle Lovett.
DIEGO
Who the fuck are you?
96
MARX
Oh, this is Sam and Large.
DIEGO
No offense.
(TO MARK)
Why are you bringing these people
here?
MARK
He's the guy who needs that thing.
Look I brought you the tank, so can
you just tell us where to go now?
DIEGO
Tank come with balloons?
MARX
Am I a fucking birthday clown,
Diego? No I don't have balloons.
Suck it off the tap. And I need it
back when you're done; the guy's
holding my thirty-nine bucks.
DIEGO
All right. Hold-up. Who here just
saw some titties?!
They all stare.
DIEGO (CONT'D)
Raise your hand if you just saw
some titties?!
They all raise their hands. (Including Sam.)
DIEGO (CONT'D)
Thank you. So everybody needs to
calm the fuck down.
MARK
we're in a hurry.
DIEGO
All right. You know where Kiernan's
Quarry is?
EXT. KIERNAN'S QUARRY -- LATER
They pull up on the motorcycle.
MARK (V . O . )
Down in Newark, right?
DIEGO (V.0.)
Yeah, its at the bottom of
Hillside and Rivington.
(MORE)
97
You can't really see it from the
street, but it's there. Park your
car at the gate and hop the fence.
They do.
DIEGO (V.O.) (CONT'D)
At the bottom of the quarry there's
this Junkyard run by this guy named
Albert. lie's the one that tracked
down the piece you're looking for.
I'll call him right now and tell
him to expect you.
LARGE
Okay, stop. What the fuck are we
doing?
MARX
Just be patient.
LARGE
Dude, we've been patient all day,
but it's my last day in town and
you haven't told me what the fuck
we're doing. I mean if you told me
we were going on a six hour
scavenger hunt for blow I would
have passed.
MARK
Blow? Please. If I was gonna give
you coke we'd have gone to the high
school football practice and we'd a
been reeling five hours ago.
LARGE
Well I think we've corrupted this
innocent girl enough for one
afternoon.
SAM
I'm not innocent.
LARGE
(getting worked up)
Yes, you are. And that's what I
like about you. And I don't want
this fucking guy taking you to the
bottom of a quarry in a sketchy-ass
neighborhood to find some Pitbull's
raping each other or... crack
whore's huffing turpentine or
whatever it is that you have us
DOINGS
MARK
Wow. That's the most worked up I've
ever seen you.
98
SAM
He was protecting me.
LARGE
So.
SAM
He likes me.
LARGE
Don't be cute.
SAM
You're my knight in shining armor.
LARGE
Don't talk about knights in front
of Mark. It's a sore subject.
MARK
I'm gonna kill that motherfucker.
LARGE
Pun intended?
Beat as Mark gets it. He comes after him.
MARK
You're dead.
They play wrestle as Sam watches.
EXT. KIERNAN'S QUARRY -- MOMENTS LATER
The three of them reach the top of a small hill to reveal...
AN ENORMOUS ABANDONED QUARRY
Colossal old cranes and construction trucks loom in the
distance like ancient dinosaurs frozen in rust and graffiti.
The center of the quarry goes so deep they can't see the
bottom. They stand on the edge. Rain clouds rapidly drift
overhead. This glace is surreal.
SAM
Wow.
LARGE
I never even knew this was here.
MARK
I've heard about it. They were
supposed to build a mall here I
think.
SAM
Yeah I remember reading about it in
the paper.
(MORE)
€¢
99
They were digging one day and they
broke through into this like
natural phenomenon. It's like an
underground Grand Canyon or
something. So now they're in some
huge legal battle over whether they
can build here or not.
LARGE
Can you imagine the guy who's job
it is to fight for the right to
build his mall on some like
geological phenomenon?
MARK
They love their mall's here man.
Okay let's just find this guy and
get outta here.
LARGE
You're not gonna tell us what we're
getting?
MARK
It's a surprise, you'll see.
Mark walks on ahead of them down a path that winds down
alongside the abyss.
EXT. 1CTERNIAN'S QUARRY -- LATER
Further down the path. Sam looks to Large. He uses an old mop
handle he's found as a walking stick.
As they continue along the path it begins to get continually
cluttered with rusty junk. An old bedframe, a porcelain tub,
remnants of a "Jungle-Gym", dirty broken toys.
Further along down the path amidst the junk they see a THIRTY
FOOT DILAPIDATED SOUSE BOAT perched on cement blocks that
sits right on the edge of the cliff. It's windows glow warm
and welcoming.
Mark stands in front of the boat. This isn't what he
expected. Rain begins to fall.
MARK
I guess this is it.
LARGE
So... knock. Knock and barter for
"Dessert Storm Trading Cards".
MARY
Please don't tease me about my
hobbies. I don't tease you about
being an asshole.
They stand in the pouring rain staring at the boat. Mark
steps up and pounds his fist on the wooden hull.
100
After a moment, ALBERT, a very gentle looking man in his mid-
thirties with a newborn baby asleep on his shoulder appears
on the deck. He smiles warmly-
ALBERT
(in a whisper)
Mark?
MARK
Yeah. Are you Albert?
ALBERT
(with a smile)
Yes. Come on in out of the rain.
Sam and Large look at each other, then follow Mark up an A-
frame ladder that sits next to the hull.
INT. ALBERT'S BOAT -- CONTINUOUS
They step inside and the door closes behind them. It's very
cozy and warm. GREAT MUSIC PLAYS. A wood burning stove heats
the room and throws warm amber light onto a small LIVING ROOM
with deep cushy couches.
ALBERT
You guys must be freezing. Make
yourselves warm by the fire. I'm
just gonna go put her down. I'll be
right out.
The three of them huddle by the fire. They speak in quiet
whispers.
SAM
I must say, I've been continually
impressed today with how each new
place you bring us manages to be
weirder and weirder.
MARK
What do you mean, this is nice.
LARGE
ah nothing, just hanging out in an
old boat at the bottom of a quarry
in Newark.
MARK
It's hardly the bottom, dude. Did
you see that cliff?
Albert returns with FAYE, an equally gentle and caring
looking woman in her early thirties.
ALBERT
This is my wife, Faye.
ALL
Hi. Hello.
101
FAYE
Hi. Welcome.
ALBERT
This is Mark and Sam and Large,
right?
MARK
YEAH_
ALBERT
Diego told me when he called.
Please have a seat, make yourselves
comfortable.
FAYE
Its really coming down out there,
huh?
LARGE
Yeah, it just started pouring all
of a sudden.
ALBERT
Well in a bad storm I like to
pretend this old boat's my own
private "ark". Unfortunately, if
this is the apocalypse, I'm not
quite sure it still floats.
FAYE
Would any of you like some tea?
SAM
I'd love some tea.
Large and Mark look at her.
LARGE
No thanks.
MARX
No.. thanks.
Faye crosses to a small kitchen. They all sit there politely
nodding at each other.
LARGE
What is it that you do here? What
is this place?
ALBERT
Good question. We're calling it
Kiernan's Fault. And no one's
really quite sure what it is
because they haven't been able to
explore it. They're locked in a
legal battle over who has the
rights to the land.
(MORE)
102
So one of these days it will either
be a national park or a shopping
mall. But while their locked in
litigation, I was hired to make
sure no one comes inside.
LARGE
Oh. Wow.
ALBERT
What they don't know is that I'm a
geologist working undercover for
the preservation lobby. So, at
night... I go down.
FAYE
He's documenting it to support
their case.
SAM
Wow. So how deep does it go?
ALBERT
No one really knows. I've been in
the furthest and that was about two
miles down. But I like to pretend
it's infinite.
11
Faye brings them tea.
SAM
It's kind of an odd job isn't it?
Guardian of an infinite abyss?
ALBERT
Yeah, I guess it is. We also trade
and deal in antique jewelry. I
suppose it's pretty odd for you that
we live down here like this-
SAM
No.
LARGE
Not at all.
MARK
Never crossed my mind.
ALBERT
But we think it's important.
LARGE
Why? What do you think you'll find?
ALBERT
I don't know. It's exciting. New
frontiers are hard to come by these
days. I guess I just like the idea
of discovering something.
(MORE)
103
Doing something completely unique
that no one's ever done before.
Large looks to Sam.
LARGE
Yeah. "Albert's Abyss".
ALBERT
Who knows? Maybe. But I used to
think that was all that mattered.
No matter what it was, as long as I
could put my name on it. Like it
would somehow justify the fact that
I lived; that I was here. "I did
that. That's mine. I got this plate
on my travels." But you know what?
That's all ego; none of that stuff
really matters. If at the end of
the day I get to be with her, if I
get to be with this person right
here and the baby we created, then
that's all I need. Just having
felt that... If I die in an hour, I
know I've lived.
Faye kisses his forehead.
LARGE
You know "my whole life I've had
that same anxiety that if I didn't
discover something or... save
something or...
SAM
Save something from being
discovered.
LARGE
Yeah. That I'll have somehow wasted
my time here. And that somewhere,
whatever force created us, would
resent me for it.
ALBERT
Well I think that force would
rather remind you that "breathing's
all it takes to be a miracle".
He takes a deep breath. Large, Sam and mark stare at Albert;
TRANSFIXED. He's like a sage.
GREAT MUSIC BEGINS.
ALBERT
Well i suppose you want what you
came all the way down here for.
MARX
Yeah, that would be great.
104
ALBERT
It took me awhile to track this
piece down. But I owe Diego huge.
He pulls a small paper bag off the counter and hands it to
Mark. Mark looks inside and nods his head.
MARK
That's it. Thank you.
They all stand.
SAM
Well thank you for the tea.
LARGE
Yeah, thanks.
FAYE
Okay, good luck in the rain. Would
you like some garbage bags or
something?
LARGE
Yeah, that would be great.
EXT ALBERT'S HOUSE BOAT--DAY
They open the door and venture into the, DOWN POUR in their
garbage bag parkas.
ALBERT
Good-bye.
Albert stands with his arm around Faye in their warm doorway.
As the three of them climb down the ladder and head up the
path. Large turns back' around.
LARGE
(yelling over the rain)
r, Hey Albert l
ALBERT
Yeah?
LARGE
Good luck exploring the infinite
ABYSS1
ALBERT
(with a smile)
Thank you.
(BEAT)
HEY]
(BEAT)
YOU TOOT
EXT. KIERNAN'S QUARRY -- CONTINUOUS
105
THE GREAT MUSIC CONTINUES
SLOW MOTION: Mark, Sam and Large in black garbage bag rain
parkas head up the incline away from the trailer at half
speed.
Large leads them to an old yellow crane that's rusty arm
hangs out over the 'edge. He climbs up onto it's base.
REGULAR MOTION; Large SCREAMS as loud as he can, with
everything he has, like he's emptying himself into the abyss.
Sam and Mark look up at him and climb up alongside Large to
join hint.
The three of them, in their black parkas, with their hair
drenched against their heads, SCREAM as loud as they can,
with everything they have in the POURING RAIN.
FREEZE FRAME: The three of them smiling. A release. A perfect
moment.
UNFREEZE: Sam locks eyes on Large. He stares back at her.
They kiss. He wraps his hands around the back of her head and
they kiss, in the pouring rain, on the edge of something.
CUT TO:
EXT. MARK'S HOUSE -- LATER
The rain has stopped as Large's motorcycle pulls up in front
of Mark's house. mark gets out of the sidecar.
LARGE
So I don't know if I'm gonna see
you.
MARK
I know. Don't you wanna know what's
in the bag?
LARGE
To be honest, I don't even care
anymore.
Mark pulls out the bag. It practically falls apart it's 80
wet from the rain. He pulls out an ANTIQUE NECKLACE with a
square pendant on it. He puts it in Large's wet hand.
MARK
I'd be lying to ya if I told ya
this was my plan all along.
(BEAT)
But I got it back. That's got to be
worth something, right?
LARGE
This whole day was about this?
106
MARK
(NODDING)
And anyway you didn't want it down
there with her. It's better for you
to have it.
Large shakes his head; he's shocked. Mark backs away, still
wearing his garbage bag parka.
MARK (CONT'D)
Hey, if you ever need a Kato, you
know where to find me.
Large sits back down on the bike into Sam's wet arms. He
stares at the pendant in his hand.
SAM
What is it?
LARGE
It's my Mom's favorite necklace.
FADE TO BLACK:
INT. MASTER BATHROOM -- NIGHT
They sit, soaked from the rain in the empty bath tub where
Sarah Largeman drowned,, cross-legged facing each other.
Large wears the necklace around his neck. He plays with the
pendant...
EXTREME CLOSE-UP INSIDE TEE PENDANT: It's an antique game
where you try to get three tiny lead balls to sit in three
separate indentations.
LARGE
No. I don't want to play this game.
SAM
Why not? I'm curious. She's sitting
here, across from you and you can
say anything at all. All the things
you never got a chance to say.
(BEAT)
No?
I (BEAT)
Well I don't want to push you. I
just thought it might help. I mean
isn't that what you came home for?
Re stops playing with the necklace and takes a deep breath.
LARGE
Okay.
(BEAT)
I would...
(BEAT)
If she were sitting here.
(REALLY THINKING)
(MORE)
107
if my mother were sitting here I
would tell her...
Silence. The faucet DRIPS behind him.
SAM
What?
LARGE
I really don't wanna...
(BEAT)
I would tell her that I'm sorry.
(BEAT)
I'm sorry that she wasn't happy.
And I'm sorry I couldn't make her
happy. And you know if I could have
had anything I ever wanted to have
happen in my life actually ever
happen, it would have been that she
would be happy. And...
A tiny tear wells in his lid and. spills over.
SAM
Oh, my God, Large I think I see
one.
LARGE
Shut-up.
SAM
Yeah, I do. Don't move, we should
save it or something.
She finds a clear plastic cup.
SAM (COUT' D)
Here don't move, I'm gonna get it.
She tries to coerce the- tear off his cheek into the cup, like
a child capturing an inch worm.
LARGE
I guess I could put it in my
scrapbook, if I had a scrapbook.
They wait.
SAM
Is that it?
LARGE
I think so. I don't feel any more
coming.
SAM
Well if you do, let me know and
I'll grab the cup, okay?
108
LARGE
Yeah.
SAM
This was a good idea. Keep talking.
LARGE
It's funny; this thing reminds me
of this really random memory of my
mother. Its so weird, I haven't
thought about this in so long, but
this great memory I have where I
was a little kid and I was crying
for one reason or another and she
was kind of holding me and rocking
me back and forth. And I could see
the little balls in this thing just
rolling back and forth. And there
was just snot dripping down my
nose.
(HE LAUGHS)
And she just handed me her sleeve
and told me to just blow my nose
into it. And I remember thinking,
even as a very little kid, "Wow.
This is love."
More tears start to well and overflow from his eyes. He tries
to stifle them with a LAUGH. He cradles the pendant.
LARGE (CONT'D)
This is love. And it just felt
so... good to be there. So safe.
And I didn't feel safe very often,
but at that moment...
Tears are now streaming down his face as well as Sam's. She
holds the plastic cup in her hand.
SAM
oh, Large I'm never gonna be able
to get all these.
They laugh. She moves closer, wrapping her legs around his
waist to hug him close. She kisses his-'wet cheeks.
SAM (CONT'D)
I'm never gonna be able to get all
these, am I?
LARGE
It's so funny isn't it? But I
think that's the single most
amazing moment I remember of my
Mother. 'Cause she wasn't sad and
she wasn't being prodded to be
happy, she was just there.
SAM
To be your Mom.
209
He node and tightens his lips; trying to hold in the faucet
that his eyes have become; a monumental release. He almost
looks like a different person. They stare directly into each
other's eyes. He turns away; it's too vulnerable a place for
him.
SAM (CONT'D)
Look at me.
(BEAT)
Look at me.
He does. And we see a vulnerable, lonely, little boy.
SAM (CONT'D)
(in a whisper)
Let go. Listen to me. Just don't
hang onto any of it anymore. You're
holding on so tight and you just...
you don't have to hang onto any of
it anymore. Just let it all go.
LARGE
(THROUGH TEARS)
I just don't...
SAM
Just let it all go.
He cries with his elbow over his eyes.
SAM (CONT'D)
What do you feel? Describe it. That
always helps me. My mom always
says, "What's the word that's
burning in your chest..."
She touches his chest with her hand.
SAM (CONT'D)
What is it?
He looks away. Soared.
SAM (CONT'D)
Look at me.
He does.
SAM (CONT'D)
(GENTLE)
What is it?
LARGE
(in a whisper)
I would say that it's Love.
(BEAT)
It's this Love that I have.
0
110
SAM
Yeah, it is.
(BEAT)
And you've got so much of it in
you... God, you do. You've got so
many years of it in you, pleading
to come out.
LARGE
This fucking hurts.
SAM
I know. But that... that is life.
if nothing else...
(pointing to his chest)
That is life. St's real. And
sometimes it burns. But maybe... it
might be all there is.
(BEAT)
Look at you. Look at you. You look
like you just came back to life.
He just stares at her.
LARGE
(BAFFLED)
who are you?
SAM
(SMILING)
I'm your new friend, Sam.
Holding up her sleeve.
SAM (CONT'D)
Tissue?
They both laugh; a release.
LARGE
Fuck. I feel like I just get so
much thrown at me; like there's so
much speeding by me in a day that I
feel like if I look up from the
sidewalk, I'll get dizzy and fall
down. So it's like I just...
barrel through and don't look up,
so I'll just never fall, you know?
And that's really... and you know
it's so sad to say this, but that's
really how I've been living my
whole life.
SAM
Trying to barrel through.
LARGE
Yeah.
111
SAM
Well it sounds like you were due to
fall.
LARGE
Yeah.
(REALIZING)
Yeah I was.
(beat. Then with a laugh.)
Thanks Mom.
(beat, realizing)
That's funny. The definition's
always confused me, but I'm pretty
sure that's irony.
He smiles. He wipes his tears away with his own sleeve .
LARGE (CONT'D)
Come here.
She comes in for a tight embrace. He kisses her gently on her
cheek with his eyes closed, then rests his head on her
- shoulder.
SAM
How do you feel?
On Large's face as he thinks about that question.
LARGE
Safe.
(BEAT)
When I'm with you, I feel so
safe... like I'm Rome.
A WIDE SHOT of the bathroom as Sam and Large embrace in the
middle of the empty tub and the faucet continuee to DRIP.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. LARGE'S BEDROOM -- LATER
Large's STEREO PLAYS: ("I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over
You" by Colin Ray)
Large and Sam lie naked in each other's arms. She's asleep.
He lies wide awake resting his cheek on top of here.
A SERIES OF DISSOLVES: of Large as he lies awake in different
positions staring at the ceiling; processing. S am turns to
him.
He gets up out of bed and puts his clothes on.
TNT. MASTER BEDROOM -- CONTINUOUS
Large stands at the end of the bed staring at Gideon lying
propped up with a book on his cheat, asleep. The EVENING NEWS
is on the TV.
112
LARGE
Dad?
He sits up startled.
GIDEON
Oh, hey, hey c'mon in.
He finds his glasses on his chest and lifts the remote to
turn off the TV.
LARGE
Sorry to wake you.
GIDEON
No, no, it's uh... I was just
reading.
LARGE
I've been on a pretty crazy little
journey these last couple of days.
GIDEON
You've been avoiding me.
LARGE
No, I just... maybe I have been.
GIDEON
I'm sure you can find plenty of
things in your life to be angry
about, but what I don't understand
is why you're so angry at me. All I
ever wanted was for everybody to be
happy again, Andrew. That's all I
ever wanted.
LARGE
But when were we ever all happy,
Dad? I mean you always say that,
but when was that? When was this
time that you have in your mind
that you wish we could all get back
to? 'Cause I don't have it in my
memory. Maybe if I did I could help
steer us back there. But we
should...
(BEAT)
You know... you and I need to work
on being okay if that's not in the
cards for us.
GIDEON
Well we might have a shot at it if
you could just forgive yourself for
what you did.
113
LARGE
What I did? What I did?! You know
what, Dad? I'm gonna forgive myself
for what I did right now: I was a
little boy and somebody made a
shitty latch. That's what I think
now. And I'm not gonna... I mean
I'm not gonna take all those drugs
anymore. Because they've left me
completely numb. I have felt so
fucking numb to everything I have
experienced in my life. And for
that; I'm here to forgive you.
Gideon site up against the headboard.
LARGE (CONT'D)
You've always said you wanted us to
have whatever it is we wanted.
Well maybe what Mom wanted more
than anything, was for it to all be
over. And for me, what I really
want more than anything, is for it
to be okay with you for me to feel
something again; even if it's pain.
GIDEON
Going against your doctor's
recommendation; that's a pretty
weighty experiment to take on don't
you think?
LARGE
(with a chuckle)
This is my life, Dad. This is it.
I've spent twenty-six years waiting
for something else to start. So no,
I don't think it's too much to take
on. Because it's everything there
is.
(BEAT)
I see now it's all there is.
GIDEON
Perhaps the great tragedy of my
life, will be that you both
deserved more than I knew how to
give?
LARGE
We deserved nothing more than you.
And you deserved nothing more than
us.
Large puts his hand on the center of his father's bare chest.
LARGE (CONT'D)
You and I are gonna be okay. You
know that, right?
(BEAT)
(MORE)
114
We may not be as happy as you
always hoped we'd be. But for the
first time let's allow ourselves to
be whatever it is that we are...
and that'll be better. OK? I think
that'll be better.
DISSOLVE TO,
INT. NEWARK AIRPORT STAIRCASE -- MORNING
Large sits next to Sam on a staircase between two escalators.
SAM
What are you doing?
LARGE
I don't want to hurt you.
SAM
No. Why? How can you... how could
you... What's going on? What
happened? We can figure out the
long distance thing. Don't... this
is a good thing, Large. Don't...
you're gonna be... please don't do
this.
Shestarts crying.
LARGE
Sam.
SAM
(THROUGH TEARS)
You don't realize. This is good.
This doesn't happen often in your
life. We can figure this stuff out.
I wanna help you. We need each
other; I haven't even lied in two
days.
LARGE
Is that true?
SAM
No.
LARGE
Look at me. Sam, look at me. This
is not over. I'm not putting a
period at the end of this thing.
I'm putting like... an ellipses on
it. Because I'm worried that if i
don't go figure myself out, if I
don't go land on my feet and be
okay on my own, I'm gonna fuck this
up. And I don't want to do that .
This matters too much to me.
115
He checks his watch.
LARGE (CONT`D)
This isn't a conversation about
this being over. It's about me
needing time to... Look, I just
fired my psychiatrist, I gotta go
out and find a new one.
He stares off. Decision time.
LARGE (CONT'D)
- I gotta go. I'm gonna call you. As
soon as I get there I'm gonna call
you.
She nods; heartbroken.
LARGE (CONT'D)
Look at me.
She doesn't.
LARGE (CONT' t )
Look at me.
She turns.
LARGE (CONT'D)
You've changed my life, Samantha.
And I've known you for four days.
This is the beginning of something
big. But right now I gotta go.
He kisses her on her mouth. As he pulls away she arcs her
head to touch his lips for one more second.
FADE TO BLACK:
ANCHOR (O.S.)
Well Paul is off tonight, but we're
lucky enough to have Ryan Walker
here to tell us about our weather.
INT. MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT
Gideon sits on the edge of the bed cutting his toe-nails.
He's naked except for white underwear. The SOUND OF WATER
running in the bathroom.
ANCHOR (O.S.)
Ryan, how's it lookin' out there?
FEMALE VOICE (O.S.)
Gideon?
R
116
Gideon doesn't hear the voice as he bends over and tries to
pick each toenail he's cut out of the thick carpet.
RYAN (O.S.)
Thank you, Dan. Well I have some
good news. We are in for some
gorgeous weather coming our way out
of the northwest.
FEMALE VOICE
Gideon?
A SCREAM and a BANG from the FEMALE VOICE in the other room!
GIDEON'S FACE as it whips up into frame from his task on the
floor.
FEMALE VOICE (CONT'A)
GIDEON!
SHE SCREAMS AGAIN THROUGH WATER!
He darts up off the floor and races to the open bathroom
doorl He is about to enter and then he's STOPPED ABRUPTLY.
SARAH
GIDEON I
SARAH IS DROWNING. Through the door we see SPLASHES OF WATER
as they land on the bathroom floor.
GIDEON'S FACE. he can't move; fro2en. His mind is racing;
ADRENALINE. We can almost see how fast:his, mind is
processing through his EYES.
The WEATHER REPORT continues low in the background.
SARAH (CONT'D)
(THROUGH GASPS)
GIDE...
And then silence.
GIDEON'S FACE; Wide-eyed in terror.
HIS FINGERS as they slide down off the bathroom door frame.
He backs away slowly to the bed and site down; staring
blankly at the bathroom door. And then he starts to SOB.
Quickly his whole body seems to surrender into it and he
WEEPS hard. His whole back lurches upward with each SOH.
RYAN (O.S.)
So there you have it folks; get out
the picnic baskets, push up those
storm windows, 'cause it appears
that Spring has arrived.
117
Gideon looks up; lost. His face is covered with tears. He
reaches down to the phone and dials 911.
GIDEON
I need an ambulance.
BLACK.
INT. AIRPORT BAGGAGE CLAIM AREA-- DAY
Sam cries in a phone booth. A KNOCK on the glass spins her
around to see Large. He opens the door.
SAM
What are you doing?
LARGE
Remember that idea I had about
growing and working stuff out on my
own and then finding you when I'd
figured myself out?
SAM
The ellipses?
LARGE
Yeah the ellipses. Its dumb. It's
an awful idea. And I'm not gonna do
it. Because like you said, this is
it. This is life. And I'm in love
with you, Samantha.
(with a laugh)
I think that's the only thing I've
.ever been really sure of in my
whole life. I'm really fucked up
right now, but I don't want to
waste any more of my life without
you in it. Okay?
SAM
Yeah.
LARGE
Because I think I can do this. I
know I can. I want to. We have to.
Yeah?
Tears stream down her face. She smiles her angelic smile.
SAM
LARGE
SAM
118
LARGE
Okay.
(beat, nodding)
What do we do?
He looks at her and smiles like we've never seen him smile;
ALIVE; AWAKE; CHARGED!
LARGE (CONT - D)
What do we do?
They pause for a moment, staring at each other, transfixed by
adrenaline and spontaneity. Slowly Large leans in and they
kiss amidst an almost desolate baggage claim area.
MUSIC CUE: Radiohead: "Sulk"
As one lone bag circles an empty carousel waiting to be
found.
FADE OUT:
|
