I LOVE YOU PHILLIP MORRIS
A true story of life,
love and prison breaks
Written by
Glenn Ficarra & John Requa
Based on the book by Steve McVicker
4.27.2008
1 EXT. SKY - DAY 1
Fluffy white CLOUDS drift across a clear blue sky.
TITLE CARD-
"This really happened"
FADE TO WHITE:
TITLE CARD-
"It really did"
A dull WHINE is heard building in volume until finally-
SMASH CUT TO:
2 INT. TEXAS STATE PENITENTIARY HOSPITAL WARD - 1998 - DAY 2
Startled, STEVEN RUSSELL (40) opens his eyes. Gaunt and
pale, he seems to be on death's door. The whine we once
heard is now the high-pitched ALARM of medical equipment.
The door BURSTS open. NURSES enter, rushing toward him.
The nurses pass him and attend to the PATIENT in the next
bed over, frantically administering CPR.
SUPER: "TEXAS STATE PENITENTIARY INFIRMARY - 1998"
A DOCTOR appears and pushes the nurses aside.
DOCTOR
Where's the crash cart!?
He straddles the patient's chest and pushes down hard-
the sound of a sternum CRACKING can be heard.
Steven returns his gaze to the ceiling. A CHEERY VOICE
counterpoints the bleakness of this scene.
STEVEN (V.O.)
(upbeat and happy)
Love sure is a funny thing...
It makes you happy. Makes you sad. Makes
you do all sorts of things you never
thought you'd do before. Love's the
reason I'm here actually.
SMASH CUT TO:
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 2.
3 EXT. MARSHLAND - CHESAPEAKE BAY, VA - 1966 - DAY 3
A group of FOUR NINE YEAR OLDS lie in the grass atop a
hill. They stare up at the clouds, playfully arguing.
RED HAIRED BOY
I still don't see it.
LITTLE GIRL
It's right there.
A young STEVEN RUSSELL (9) is among them.
YOUNG STEVEN
It's really big.
STEVEN'S MOM (O.S.)
Steeeeeeeeeven...
Steven looks down the hill to see his mother calling.
STEVEN'S MOM (CONT'D)
Steeeeeeeeeven...
4 INT. LIVING ROOM CHESAPEAKE BAY, VA - 1966 - DAY 4
Young Steven sits in the middle of the couch. His PARENTS
and 11 year old BROTHER stand before him. He stares at
them- innocent and doe-eyed with a big smile on his face.
STEVEN'S MOM
Are you a happy little boy Steven?
Steven smiles and nods.
STEVEN'S MOM (CONT'D)
You've always been such a happy little
boy.
(then)
Now Steven, we want to tell you something
very important, but I want you to
understand that it doesn't change a
thing.
Steven awaits, smiling.
STEVEN'S MOM (CONT'D)
We're still gonna love you, you're still
gonna be our happy little boy and you're
still gonna--
STEVEN'S BROTHER
You're adopted.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 3.
YOUNG STEVEN
Shut up!
He glares at his brother, then turns back to his mother.
Her face says it all.
STEVEN'S MOM
It's true.
WHACK! She SWATS his brother in the head. Steven starts
putting things together.
STEVEN'S MOM (CONT'D)
Your brother overheard your Dad and I
talking and well, we didn't want you to
hear it from anybody but us.
(then)
It's true. You're a special little boy.
You know why? Because we chose you. Not
like your brother here who's natural.
STEVEN'S DAD
Your Mother's right. It's cause we love
you. So we put some money in a brown
paper bag and gave it to your real mom in
the hospital parking lot so you could
come home with us. Okay?
STEVEN'S MOM
It doesn't change a thing honey. We love
you just as much as we love your brother
here...
(best of intentions)
...and he's natural.
STEVEN'S DAD
So son, are you okay?
Steven smiles wide.
YOUNG STEVEN
Yes Daddy.
As his parents prattle on, Steven's VO comes full.
STEVEN (V.O.)
It hurt a bit, but I decided I wasn't
gonna let it get me down. No way. I was
gonna be the best son- No, the best
person I could be.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 4.
5 I/E. VIRGINIA BEACH CHURCH OF GOD - 1984 - DAY 5
A joyous Sunday. OPEN ON the LETTER BOARD of THE VIRGINIA
BEACH CHURCH OF GOD. The date reads, MARCH 1984.
A congregation packs the church to the rafters as a
Lawrence Welk-ish CHOIR praises Jesus to the tune of
Hallelujah! We Shall Rise.
Amidst this white-man's paradise sits a smiling and
healthy STEVEN- playing the organ with a happy-stick
planted firmly up his ass.
As the joyous flock whoops it up, Steven winks to his
wife (DEBBIE) and their 4 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER (STEPHANIE)
who sit in the first row.
Steven, oblivious, hits a sour note or two-- but keeps on
playing with happy abandon. The crowd continues to enjoy
the inspiring hymn.
6 I/E. VIRGINIA BEACH POLICE STATION FRONT DESK, 1984 - DAY 6
A police receptionist (MANDI) at a switchboard in a small-
town police station answers the phone.
MANDI
Virginia Beach Police Department, how may
I direct your call?
Steven enters in UNIFORM, smiling wide. Mandi waves
happily. She covers the receiver and whispers.
MANDI (CONT'D)
Something came for you.
As he nods and moves on he's greeted by a VARIOUS
POLICEMEN. We can tell he's well liked.
STEVEN
Hey fellas.
VARIOUS POLICEMAN
Hey Steve, Steve, mornin', etc...
Steven arrives at his desk to find a large FILE BOX. He
turns it around to reveal writing on the side. It reads,
"BASHAM, BRENDA"
6A INT. STEVEN'S HOUSE, VIRGINIA BEACH - 1984 - NIGHT 6A
Establishing of the empty parts of the home.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 5.
7 INT. STEPHANIE'S BEDROOM (VIRGINIA, 1984) - NIGHT 7
Steven switches off the small lamp beside Stephanie's
bed. He kisses her forehead.
STEVEN
Have lots of dreams...
STEPHANIE
(smiling)
Okay.
8 INT. STEVEN AND DEBBIE'S BEDROOM (VIRGINIA, 1984) - NIGHT 8
Steven and Debbie kneel at the edge of the bed, praying.
DEBBIE
...and if it wasn't for you Jesus, I
would have never found that last coffee
filter and Prayer-Girls would have been
ruined. So thank you for that.
STEVEN
Amen.
Steven moves to get up but settles back in when she
continues.
DEBBIE
And thank you for Steffie's allergy
screen coming back all negative. I always
knew it was in your plan for her to enjoy
nuts. And finally I want to thank you
for this man Jesus. This man who works
so hard to make us happy without even a
thought for himself.
Steven smiles at that sentiment. Again he moves to get up
when--
DEBBIE (CONT'D)
This man who pursued me to the ends of
the Earth and promised me a life of
eternal happiness. A promise he has kept
oh Lord. Every day. Amen.
STEVEN
Amen.
Steven tries to get up again. Then-
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 6.
DEBBIE
Sometimes when I think of how happy I am,
I just want to cry. Like the time when
you--
STEVEN
(politely)
Okay let's wrap it up...
DEBBIE
And in your gracious name, I find thee
and praise thee. Amen.
STEVEN
Amen.
CUT TO:
9 INT. STEVEN AND DEBBIE'S BEDROOM 1984 - NIGHT - LATER 9
CLICK. In bed with Debbie, Steven switches off the light
and lets out a hearty YAWN.
STEVEN
I'm absolutely bushed.
DEBBIE
Me too.
They turn on their sides, back to back in the bed. After
a few moments of SILENCE, Steven rolls over and puts his
arm around her, gently feeling her breasts.
Debbie turns on her back and they kiss quietly as Steven
quietly gets on top. In moments, they are rocking with
the gentle rhythm of everyday sex.
Just as things are peaking, Steven suddenly STOPS and
strikes a conversational tone.
STEVEN
Deb- You know how, as a cop, I have lots
of access? You know- records and things?
DEBBIE
(surprised)
Steven-
STEVEN
(oblivious)
Now do you think it's, you know,
unethical, to use that to find my mother?
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 7.
Debbie quickly realizes where his head is at.
DEBBIE
Oh... that. Yeah, um, well I don't know-
STEVEN
I swear honey- getting around the system's
so easy. No one would even know I did it.
DEBBIE
I know you want to find her Steven, but
you need to think about this.
STEVEN
You're right, I shouldn't have done it.
DEBBIE
You did it!? Oh my God, Steven- what'd
you find?
Steven shrugs.
STEVEN
I haven't looked. It's downstairs.
DEBBIE
Really? Well let's go!
She moves to get up. Steven takes umbrage.
STEVEN
Well hold on- let me finish.
DEBBIE
Oh, right.
Steven thrusts and tenses.
STEVEN
There- that's got it.
10 INT. STEVEN AND DEBBIE'S HOUSE 1984 - DINING ROOM - NIGHT 10
Steven flips through the file box, reading through
various pages. Debbie watches with compassion as he
reads. Eventually he cracks an incredulous SMILE.
DEBBIE
What?
STEVEN
She's right here. She's been right here
all this time.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 8.
DEBBIE
It's really her?
STEVEN
Yeah. No question.
DEBBIE
My goodness Steven, that's wonderful.
He reads on, his smile ever widening until-
He comes across something that concerns him and his voice
trails off. His smile fades, replaced by a look of dread.
Debbie grows concerned.
DEBBIE (CONT'D)
What? What is it? Steven?
He cannot believe his eyes.
11 EXT. BASCOMBE HOME, VIRGINIA, 1984 - DAY 11
Steven walks up to a middle class home and raps on the
screen door. A kindly woman (MRS. BASCOMBE) arrives
behind the mesh wearing a birthday PARTY HAT.
MRS. BASCOMBE
(alarmed)
Is something wrong officer?
STEVEN
Are you Barbra Bascombe?
MRS. BASCOMBE
Yes. Is something wrong? Is someone hurt?
STEVEN
(lip quivering)
In a manner of speaking, yes. You gave
up a baby for adoption, correct?
An ashen look overcomes Mrs. Basham's face. She removes
her hat.
MRS. BASCOMBE
I don't think I know what you're talking
about.
Steven can see that behind her is a small FAMILY
GATHERING at the table, grouped around a BIRTHDAY CAKE.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 9.
STEVEN
Elizabeth City? St Jude's Hospital?
Remember?
MRS. BASCOMBE
I don't know what you're talking about.
STEVEN
You were young. I know that you made a
mistake giving me away, but-
MRS. BASCOMBE
Listen-
STEVEN
Shhhhhh. Mommy please- let me finish.
What color that remains in her face drains away.
STEVEN (CONT'D)
We all make mistakes. What I came here
to say is, I forgive you because none of
us is perfect but now with a fresh start
we can build --
She SLAMS the door in his face. From behind the door-
MRS. BASCOMBE (O.S.)
I have no idea what you're talking about,
Steven.
STEVEN
No, it's okay, I know everything. But
it's fine. Just tell me why--
MRS. BASCOMBE (O.S.)
Go away!
STEVEN
Okay, okay. I understand. It's a lot at
once. But I can come back. How's that?
I can come back later, I'll bring us some
coffee and we can talk about...
(suddenly furious)
WHY YOU ABANDONED ME AND KEPT YOUR OTHER
TWO CHILDREN! I WAS THE MIDDLE CHILD!
WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME?! WHAT WAS WRONG
WITH ME!?
Tears stream down Steven's face. He gets in his car and
slams the door. And as he sits there trying to make sense
of things...
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 10.
STEVEN (V.O.) (CONT'D)
I quit the force that day. I packed up
the family and moved to Texas. I got a
great job and got to living the American
Dream.
12 I/E RUSSELL HOUSE - HOUSTON - 1986 - DAY 12
The ideal suburban American barbecue is in full swing at
the new Russell household.
In a series of brief vignettes, Steven shows off the
house, his family and his new corvette.
CUT TO:
A happy Steven moves through the backyard with a plate of
meat fresh off the grill.
Continuing past the buffet he enters the dining room to
find SIX YEAR OLD STEPHANIE (same actress) happen past.
Steven lovingly scoops her up without a thought.
STEPHANIE
I can't find my blue fish.
DEBBIE (O.S.)
Steven?
He turns to see Debbie across the room talking to a YOUNG
COUPLE. She waves him over.
STEVEN
(to Stephanie)
In the laundry room.
He puts her down and heads over to Debbie and the couple.
DEBBIE
Steven you haven't met our new neighbors
down two and across the street- Neil and
Sara.
STEVEN
No I haven't. I hope you're planning on
changing the paint. What do you call that
color?
NEIL
Oh we're changing it.
They all burst into loud breaking-the-ice laughter.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 11.
STEVEN
Good, good, good... good.
NEIL
So Debbie tells me you used to be in the
police force back in Georgia.
STEVEN
Virginia Beach.
NEIL
Right. Sorry...
SARA
(embarrassed)
Neil...
STEVEN
Yeah, kinda lost interest. Got back into
the family business.
NEIL
Which is?
STEVEN
Produce. I work for Sysco.
NEIL
That's a big outfit. They give you that
Corvette out there?
STEVEN
Yes sir-ee.
DEBBIE
Great benefits, too.
STEVEN
And the hours don't crush me either. I
get plenty of home time.
DEBBIE
It's good to have him where I can keep an
eye on him.
STEVEN
(suggestive)
Among other things...
Debbie gives an embarrassed GUFFAW as he smooches on her.
SARA
Ooooooh! Watch out!
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 12.
And as they giggle and play wrestle...
13 INT. HOUSTON APT. BEDROOM (TYLER) - 1986 - NIGHT 13
Amidst the moonlit shadows, the THUMPING of VIGOROUS
LOVEMAKING is heard. It continues, getting louder and
louder until we make out two forms doing it doggie-style
in the bed.
Building to the climax, Steven moans with pleasure.
STEVEN
I'm gonna come, I'm gonna come...
Suddenly we see the face of the MOUSTACHED MAN he's
fucking.
MOUSTACHED MAN
DO IT MAN! COME IN MY ASS!
SMASH CUT TO:
14 INT. TEXAS STATE PENITENTIARY HOSPITAL WARD - 1998 - DAY 14
We are back with Steven in his hospital bed at the
Penitentiary.
STEVEN (V.O.)
Oh did I forget to mention I was gay?
Yeah, sorry about that. I'm gay. Gay,
gay, gay, gay, gay. Have been as long as
I can remember...
SMASH CUT TO:
15 EXT. MARSHLAND - CHESAPEAKE BAY, VA - 1966 - DAY 15
WE'RE BACK on the hilltop from the beginning of the
movie.
Nine year old Steven and his three young FRIENDS crest
the verdant hill- running and laughing through the
backlit dandelion fluff of an idyllic summer day.
They all collapse into the long grass like the splayed
arms of a starfish. Catching their breath, they stare up
at the sky- searching for shapes in the clouds.
LITTLE GIRL
I see a pony! What do you see!?
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 13.
LITTLE BOY
I see a diesel train!
RED HAIRED BOY
I see a whirlybird!
YOUNG STEVEN
I see a wiener.
They look at him with incredulity.
RED HAIRED BOY
What?! What kind of wiener?
YOUNG STEVEN
A man's wiener.
LITTLE BOY
Shut up! There's no wiener!
YOUNG STEVEN
Uh huh!
RED HAIRED BOY
No there's not!
There is a long silence. Then-
LITTLE GIRL
Oh I see it. There it is!
YOUNG STEVEN
Told ya...
And as the other boys squint closely...
STEVEN (V.O.)
Anyway where was I? Oh yeah--
SMASH CUT TO:
16 INT. HOUSTON BEDROOM - 1986 - NIGHT 16
Once again, the MOUSTACHED MAN throws his head back in
the throes of lust.
MOUSTACHED MAN
DO IT MAN! COME IN MY ASS!
Steven drives it home.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 14.
STEVEN (V.O.)
(matter of fact)
And I did.
17 EXT. HOUSTON APARTMENT DOORWAY, 1986 - LATER THAT NIGHT 17
The Moustached Man and Steven say goodbye at the door.
STEVEN (V.O.)
I had been living a lie for a long, long
time. I tend to do that... hide things.
MOUSTACHED MAN
You be careful out there, you're a little
drunk.
18 EXT. HOUSTON STREET - 1986 - NIGHT 18
Steven drives his red Corvette, hard top removed, with a
contented look on his face. He glows as the Pet Shop
Boys' "West End Girls" plays on the radio.
STEVEN (V.O.)
Now just because I was screwing around
doesn't mean I didn't love Debbie. I did.
I loved her with all my heart...
Stephanie too. My family was all I had
and they needed me. So I told myself it
was just a little lie and it was better
for everybody if it stayed that way.
(beat)
That's what I told myself. But life has a
way of forcing these things into the
light.
CRASH! A CROSSING PICKUP TRUCK smashes into the driver
side door-- violently propelling steven and his corvette
out of frame.
STEVEN (V.O.)
You might even call it an epiphany.
19 OMITTED 19
20 EXT. DITCH - HOUSTON, 1986 - LATER THAT NIGHT 20
Badly mangled and triaged, Steven stares intently at the
night sky with his one good eye as Paramedics remove him
from the ditch on a back-board. The remains of the
corvette are all around.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 15.
STEVEN
(low murmur)
I haven't lived my life.
PARAMEDIC
Try not to talk sir.
STEVEN
(bleary)
Fuck you... No one is going to tell me
what to do anymore. No more lies. I'm
going to live my life. My way. Be the
real me. Time for some good living. Buy
what I want, do what I want, fuck who I
want. My way.
PARAMEDIC
Okay sir whatever you say.
STEVEN
I'm gonna be a fag.
PARAMEDIC
Okay.
STEVEN
A big fag...
PARAMEDIC
Alright.
(to other paramedic)
Let's move.
21 INT. HOUSTON HOSPITAL CORRIDOR - 1986 - NIGHT 21
Debbie walks alongside a DOCTOR, deeply concerned and
listening to his assessment.
STEVEN (V.O.)
Yep, just like that I decided to start my
life over and live it like the real me.
No more lies. I was born again.
22 INT. HOUSTON HOSPITAL - 1986 - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS 22
Debbie enters the room to find Steven, bandaged and
bristling with tubes.
STEVEN (V.O.)
It would be hard to break it to Debbie,
but I knew I'd find a way...
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 16.
He turns his head to her and smiles wide.
STEVEN
Honey, I'm gay!
Debbie freezes, she can't believe her ears. And as she
stares at his smiling face in shock...
STEVEN (V.O.) (CONT'D)
To my surprise, we stayed friends.
(then)
And I was finally free.
FADE IN:
23 EXT. STREET - SOUTH BEACH FLORIDA - 1992 - DAY 23
VINTAGE MAMBO MUSIC. Palm trees line an upscale Palm
Beach shopping district. Well-heeled nabobs cruise the
boulevard, shopping and being seen.
Two MINIATURE DOBERMAN PINSCHERS on a tandem leash appear
from around a corner soon followed by the NEW STEVEN with
a handsome young man on his arm (JIMMY KEMPLE).
Steven's pajama-like clothes, perfect tan and loose
demeanor make him the very essence of a man with new
found freedoms.
STEVEN (V.O.)
Life was good. Everything was falling
right into place. I moved to Florida, got
a new job, had two adorable pups, I was
dating a cute guy named Jimmy. I could
do anything I wanted...
24 INT. GAY CLUB - MIAMI, 1992 - NIGHT 24
DANCE MUSIC THUMPS as Steven passes around a tray of
drinks to friends.
STEVEN (V.O.)
But it didn't take me long to realize
something that never occurred to me
before. Actually no one ever talks about
this but...
When everyone is served, he raises his glass and let's
loose a PARTY HOOT. They concur and drink.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 17.
STEVEN (V.O.)
...being gay is really expensive.
(beat)
It is.
Steven leans over and makes out with Kemple.
25 QUICK MONTAGE 25
QUICK CUTS of Steven enjoying his gay life with Kemple at
BOUTIQUES, SALONS, RESORTS, GYMS, HAUTE CUISINE
RESTAURANTS, etc...
STEVEN (V.O.)
I mean it's not just sucking cock. It's
wardrobe, it's hair, personal trainers,
big labels, resorts, fine dining... it
goes on and on and on. So I needed money.
And for a guy without a college
education, my options were limited.
26 INT. GROCERY STORE - MIAMI, 1992 - DAY 26
Steven inexplicably pours cooking oil out onto a grocery
store aisle with a basket slung over his arm.
STEVEN (V.O.)
So I had no choice--
(beat, giddy)
I became a con man!
SLIP-WHAM! Steven throws himself in the air and falls
flat on his back with a scream.
STEVEN (V.O.)
Of course that was easy for me, every
closet case is a con anyways.
And as people gather around, he grasps his neck and moans
litigiously--
27 INT. LAW OFFICE - MIAMI, 1992 - DAY 27
OPEN CLOSE on A PARALEGAL. She opens a briefcase and
removes an envelope.
CUT TO REVEAL Steven holding crutches at his side, across
from a few LAWYERS. The paralegal hands him the envelope.
LAWYER
Your check.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 18.
STEVEN
Thank you.
With great difficulty, Steven gets on his crutches and
makes his exit.
STEVEN (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Now it didn't happen all at once. It was
sort of a gradual thing...
28 EXT. GROCERY RECEIVING DOCK - MIAMI, 1992 - DAY 28
An OLD WAREHOUSE MANAGER emerges from a darkened AMITY
FOODSERVICE trailer with a crate of tomatoes in hand. As
he steps out onto the dock, he passes Steven, who is
talking with a 500 pound PRODUCE MANAGER.
Tomato crates are all around.
STEVEN (V.O.)
It started with work. Tomatoes. I used to
buy low grade tomatoes in the field and
sell them to clueless chain stores as
higher grade.
PRODUCE MANAGER
These are gorgeous. U.S-1 right?
STEVEN
(big smile)
Finest in the land...
And as they talk-
STEVEN (V.O.) (CONT'D)
It's called `field buying'. I could clear
three thousand dollars in a good week
doing that. But frankly it wasn't enough.
29 INT. MIAMI JEWELRY STORE - MIAMI 1992 - DAY 29
Steven stands before a SALESPERSON at a counter.
SALESWOMAN
Cash or charge?
STEVEN
Charge...
Steven flips through a handful of identical CREDIT CARDS.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 19.
STEVEN (CONT'D)
(sotto)
Steven A Russell, Steven G Russell,
Steven M Russell, Doctor Steven M
Russell, Doctor Steven J Russell...
(seeing one he likes)
Ah!
He gives a card to a smiling SALESWOMAN.
SALESWOMAN
Thank you...
(reading card)
...Mister Evans. Can I see some ID?
STEVEN
Of course.
And as Steven riffles through an equally large stack of
DRIVER'S LICENSES...
30 INT. DEPARTMENT STORE - MIAMI 1992 - DAY 30
Steven stands atop a escalator, looking around.
STEVEN (V.O.)
But when money got really tight, the slip
and fall always came in handy.
He throws himself down the escalator, out of frame to the
floor below. Painful tumbling is heard.
At the BOTTOM of the escalator a hard THUD is heard. A
beat later, Steven's feet slide into frame.
31 INT. PALM BEACH APARTMENT - 1992 - LIVING ROOM - MORNING 31
CHRISTMAS MUSIC.
Dressed in pajamas, Steven and Kemple sit cross-legged at
the base of their Christmas Tree, surrounded by torn
paper and strewn gifts. Steven's arm is in a cast.
Kemple opens a hinged case to reveal a GOLD Rolex watch.
KEMPLE
Oh wow...
STEVEN
What do you think? Yes?
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 20.
KEMPLE
Well Steven it's beautiful. It really
is.
STEVEN
You don't like it.
KEMPLE
No, no, no. I do.
STEVEN
You don't like it.
KEMPLE
I'm menstruating. Don't listen to me.
STEVEN
Tell me what's wrong with it. Is it the
gold?
KEMPLE
Well...
STEVEN
That's why I got you the stainless!
He takes out another box and hands it to Kemple.
KEMPLE
Steven!
As he opens it, Steven grabs the gold Rolex.
STEVEN
The gold one is for me, dipshit.
Kemple smiles broadly as he admires his new watch.
The PHONE RINGS. Steven rushes to answer it.
STEVEN (CONT'D)
Merry Christmas!
32 INT. DEBBIE'S HOUSTON HOME, 1992 - MORNING - CONTINUOUS 32
Debbie, on the phone, is INTERCUT. Stephanie is in the
background, opening gifts at the base of their tree.
DEBBIE
Merry Christmas.
STEVEN
Hi Debbie!
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 21.
DEBBIE
How's Jimmy?
STEVEN
Good. Did you get the gifts?
DEBBIE
Well that's why I'm calling...
CUT WIDE to reveal a GIFT BOX FILLED WITH STACKS OF CASH.
STEVEN
You're welcome!
DEBBIE
I can't keep this.
STEVEN
Why not?
DEBBIE
Well... it's not Christian.
STEVEN
Not Christian? Why's that?
DEBBIE
This is not what the Lord wants.
STEVEN
So you're saying you know what the Lord
wants?
DEBBIE
No. I would never say that. Why? Do you
think this is what he wants?
STEVEN
It's the leap of faith Deb. It's the not
knowing that's the answer.
This gets traction with Debbie.
DEBBIE
Well I never thought about it that way...
STEPHANIE (O.S.)
Mommy look!
CUT TO REVEAL Stephanie has her own BOX OF CASH.
DEBBIE
Steven!
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 22.
And as Steven listens to Debbie's rant--
STEVEN (V.O.)
Of course, Jimmy and Debbie had no idea
what I was up to. For the time being, at
least...
33 INT. AMITY FOOD SERVICE - MIAMI, 1992 - MORNING 33
Steven exits an elevator and saunters into work, happy as
ever. He passes the AMITY FOODSERVICE Logo and a CHERUBIC
SECRETARY.
STEVEN
Morning Sandy!
CHERUBIC SECRETARY
Morning Steven. You have visitors.
STEVEN
Okey-dokey!
Steven quickly gets a deeply concerned look on his face
as he approaches his office.
The door is slightly ajar. He secretly peeks in to see...
TWO FEDERAL MARSHALLS wait in Steven's office. He
instantly knows what's going on.
STEVEN (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Federal Marshalls...
CUT TO:
34 INT. AMITY FOOD SERVICE - MIAMI, 1992 - MORNING 34
Steven paces nervously outside the elevator, growing more
and more anxious as he waits.
STEVEN (V.O.)
They wanted me for all sorts of stuff-
Insurance fraud, identity theft, passport
fraud. They were probably gonna
extradite me all the way back to Texas. I
had to decide what to do next.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 23.
34A EXT. PALM BEACH APARTMENT - 1992 - DAY 34A
Steven's Ford Bronco cruises past the apartment building
to find a few POLICE CARS parked outside. He drives on.
SMASH CUT TO:
35 EXT. ABANDONED LOT - FLORIDA, 1992 - DAY 35
Steven BLUBBERS TO HIMSELF inside his Bronco which is
parked in a bleak lot near a looming billboard.
STEVEN (V.O.)
But one thing was for sure-- I was not
gonna let them put me away. I was a cop
and I knew what jail was like. And there
was no way I was going there. I had a
plan.
He continues to CRY uncontrollably as he raises a
PRESCRIPTION BOTTLE and dumps all the pills into his
mouth. He reaches into the back seat and pulls out a
bottle of Galliano to wash it down.
He starts up the car.
STEVEN (V.O.)
Yep. Everything was gonna be just fine.
36 EXT. ROAD - FLORIDA 1992 - DAY 36
CARS PASS through frame, quickly heading wherever it is
they are going. Moments later, a car horn is heard,
incessantly blaring and building in volume until--
STEVEN'S CAR IDLES INTO FRAME AT 1 MPH. The Heights',
"How Do You Talk To An Angel" is barely audible over the
car horn and STEVEN is slumped over the steering wheel.
Moments later, it veers off down into the grassy shoulder
and out of frame.
FADE OUT.
37 INT. PALM BEACH HOSPITAL - 1992 - MORNING 37
Steven awakes in a hospital bed. He looks around and
eventually looks through the observation glass into the
hallway. He sees Debbie talking to a COP.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 24.
KEMPLE (O.S.)
Hey...
He readjusts to see Jimmy sitting nearby.
STEVEN
(bleary)
Sorry.
KEMPLE
Why didn't you tell me?
STEVEN
I can't go to prison, Jimmy. I can't. I
can't go to prison. I can't. I can't...
KEMPLE
Okay-okay calm down. It's okay. I just
want to tell them you're awake and we can
take it from there.
Confident that Steven is calm, Jimmy steps into the hall.
38 INT. PALM BEACH HOSPITAL CORRIDOR - 1992 - CONTINUOUS 38
Jimmy joins Debbie and the Cop in the hallway. Steven is
visible in bed through the glass.
DEBBIE
Did you know Steven was wanted?
KEMPLE
Not until just now.
DEBBIE
He likes to keep little secrets
sometimes.
KEMPLE
Like the fact that he was a big queer?
DEBBIE
Yeah, like that.
KEMPLE
But suicide, my god.
DEBBIE
Well he does tend to overreact.
KEMPLE
I feel like I don't even know him.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 25.
DEBBIE
Well Jimmy, that's the thing. I'm not
really sure he knows who he is. He's
searching, at least that's how I figure
it. I'm just not sure he knows what it is
he's looking for.
KEMPLE
(to cop)
Can you tell me exactly what he did?
As they CONTINUE TO TALK, they fail to notice Steven
getting out of bed and looking around blearily.
He picks up a bedpan, reaches into his gown and absent-
mindedly PISSES-- missing the pan completely.
COP
He has several warrants out in Texas.
Fraud, forgery, embezzlement...
DEBBIE
What?
KEMPLE
I should have known... I should have said
something.
DEBBIE
Don't blame yourself Jimmy... I did the
same thing. There were always signs. I
should have known he was gay when he
started shaving his chest.
KEMPLE
That would be a warning sign...
DEBBIE
And all that Peter Allen music on his
Walkman.
KEMPLE
Denial is a powerful thing. I don't feel
so bad now.
DEBBIE
I just never thought. But now stealing?
KEMPLE
He's probably been doing it for years. I
say to myself he did it just to buy me
things but I don't think that's true.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 26.
DEBBIE
It's bigger than that. I'm sure.
KEMPLE
But why then?
DEBBIE
And why suicide? I mean- just like that?
After that, he dresses and walks out the door behind
them.
KEMPLE
I know- he seemed so happy and--
Just then Debbie notices Steven is not in bed and looks
up in time to see him disappearing around the corner.
DEBBIE
Steven!!!
39 EXT. PALM BEACH HOSPITAL PARKING STRUCTURE - 1992 - DAY 39
Debbie, Kemple and the Cop exit the hospital and look
around frantically. They spot him running across the open
air lot and give chase.
Steven comes to a stairwell door. It's locked. He runs
some more and finds himself cornered at the guard rail.
KEMPLE
Steven!!! Stop!
Kemple, Debbie and the cop slowly approach. Steven
glances over the guard rail. ONE FLOOR DOWN is an OPENED
DUMPSTER.
KEMPLE (CONT'D)
Steven!
Steven looks down again. Kemple knows what he's thinking.
KEMPLE (CONT'D)
Wait Steven. Don't!
Steven looks down. The soft bags of trash below beckon
him to freedom.
KEMPLE (CONT'D)
Steven I'm serious! You stop or you'll
never see me again!
(no response)
I mean it!
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 27.
Steven looks to Kemple and then to the Cop right behind
him. HE JUMPS and--
KEMPLE (CONT'D)
STEVEN!
They run to the guard rail and look over to see--
Steven lies MOANING and delirious on his back NEXT TO THE
DUMPSTER.
FADE OUT.
40 EXT. TX STATE PENITENTIARY BREEZEWAY, 1995 - DAY 40
As inmates CHANT and STOMP, a new inmate walks the line
to his new cell clutching his prison issue belongings.
Although we can only see him from behind, we can only
assume this is Steven. He continues his walk amidst a
shower of stares and JEERS and THREATS raining upon him.
INMATES
(yelling)
40A INT. TX STATE PENITENTIARY CELL BLOCK, 1995 - DAY 40A
The unseen inmate continues past the open cells of his
new home and eventually the unseen inmate enters a cell
to find--
41 INT. TX STATE PENITENTIARY PRISON CELL, 1995 - CONTINUOUS 41
STEVEN is reclined on his bunk, relaxed and ready to
greet the inmate (his new cellmate ARNIE) with a smile.
STEVEN
Hi. Welcome to prison. I'm Steven.
Arnie is scared. Terrified. Speechless.
STEVEN (CONT'D)
Oh don't worry, I'm not gonna hurt you.
First time?
He nods.
STEVEN (CONT'D)
Shit, I was so scared when I first got
here. But you get used to it.
(MORE)
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 28.
STEVEN (CONT'D)
Only took me a year. You just need to
know a few ins and outs and you'll be
fine.
42 EXT. TX STATE PENITENTIARY BREEZEWAY, 1995 - DAY 42
Steven escorts Arnie through the prison, waving to
various inmates and guards along the way.
STEVEN
(upbeat)
You're gonna catch a beating any day now,
that's just the way it is. I lost three
teeth and cracked a vertebrae. Anyway,
all you need to do is fight back. Win or
lose, just fight back.
(then)
Or you could try to suck the guys' dick.
Your choice.
He moves on.
43 INT. TX STATE PENITENTIARY LAW LIBRARY - 1995 - DAY 43
Steven and Arnie stand at the door of the prison's law
library.
STEVEN
Law Library. I pretty much live here. I
don't really have anyone on the outside
except my ex-wife- so I just hunker down
here learning everything there is to know
about the law. Ask me anything.
Arnie has no response. Steven points across the library
where a menacing OLDER INMATE studies a law book.
STEVEN (CONT'D)
See him. Over there? Him? Anything you
want from outside, he's the guy. Candy,
cigarettes, drugs, whatever. He's the
guy.
(then)
Just keep in mind- it's gonna cost you a
lot of money. Or you could suck his
dick. Your choice.
44 INT. TX STATE PENITENTIARY CAFETERIA - 1995 - DAY 44
Steven and Arnie stand outside the empty cafeteria.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 29.
STEVEN
Three meals a day. Not so bad. Just make
sure if you make enemies with someone, he
doesn't work here. Otherwise you'll wake
up one morning shitting blood and find
out you've been eating ground glass in
your cornbread for six weeks.
Arnie notices one of the INMATES working in the kitchen
SPITTING a loogey into the mashed potatoes. He mixes it
in and CACKLES with glee.
Steven pays no mind.
STEVEN (CONT'D)
Let me introduce you to the mail guy. His
name's Gary.
45 EXT. TX STATE PENITENTIARY BREEZEWAY, 1995 - DAY 45
A mean-looking con named GARY mans a mail-cart while he
talks with Steven and Arnie.
GARY
(mid-sentence)
...letters, magazines, shit like that- it
all goes through unmolested. But if
Grandma's sending you cookies, or porn or
brownies or whatever-- you're gonna have
to pay for it if you wanna get it. Five
bucks per item or you can suck my dick.
Steven turns to Arnie.
STEVEN
Your choice.
46 INT. TX STATE PENITENTIARY CELL BLOCK - 1995 - DAY 46
Steven and Arnie arrive at the doorway of their cell.
STEVEN
Well that's about it. You're gonna be
fine. Don't worry. And if you need
anything you just let me know. Alright?
Arnie thinks a moment.
ARNIE
So, uh, do I need to suck your dick?
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 30.
STEVEN
That'd be great.
Steven gently shoves his new cellmate into the cell.
47 INT. TX STATE PEN - PHONE BANK/COMMON AREA - 1995 - DAY 47
Steven is on one of the many pay phones.
DEBBIE (O.S.)
Hi this is Debbie and Steffie. Sorry we
missed you. Leave a message. God Bless!
BEEP.
STEVEN
Hey Debbie. Hi Sweetheart. Sorry I missed
you. I thought one o'clock was our time
but maybe not. I sure miss you guys.
Thanks for the picture and the article.
Sometimes it's just nice to know there's
someone out there who still cares about
me since Jimmy left and all. So... uh...
Steven is holding the stainless steel ROLEX he gave
Kemple as a gift. He regards it wistfully.
STEVEN (CONT'D)
(thinking, drifting)
Do you think I broke his heart?
(snapping out of it)
Sorry. Sometimes I forget it's just the
machine... I'll try you again next time.
One O'clock. Don't forget.
He hangs up. Bored and lonely, he has a moment of repose.
Just then, a loud RUCKUS across the COMMON AREA gets his
attention.
Steven watches as a group of ROWDY PRISONERS throw
whatever they can find at a small BIRD as it flies
around, trapped in the cavernous hall.
The men LAUGH and HOOT as the bird is struck down and
lies motionless on the ground.
As the prisoners resume their activities, Steven notices
a GENTLE LOOKING INMATE approaching the bird.
Rapt, Steven watches as the inmate sympathetically scoops
up the bird and walks off. Steven is quite taken.
CUT TO:
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 31.
48 INT. TX STATE PENITENTIARY - LAW LIBRARY - 1995 - DAY 48
The gentle inmate, PHILLIP MORRIS, is a slightly built,
handsome blonde boy-man. He struggles to reach a book on
a high shelf. Helpless and irresistible, he is surprised
when Steven reaches in to help retrieve the book.
Their eyes lock and they stare in a short silence, until-
PHILLIP
(slightly Blanche DuBois)
Thanks. Guess I need a few extra inches.
STEVEN
Glad to help. How's the bird?
PHILLIP
Huh?
(realizing)
Oh. Him, yeah... he's at peace.
STEVEN
Oh, I'm sorry.
PHILLIP
It was for the best. He was suffering.
Steven acknowledges his kindness with a smile.
STEVEN
(referring to law book)
Civil law? You know, I'm an attorney.
PHILLIP
Really?
STEVEN
You suing someone?
PHILLIP
I don't know what I'm doing. There's a
guy I know- he's in the infirmary now.
He's sick- he's real sick... AIDS. I
thought maybe I could find a way to get
him some help- I mean real help. Not
here. I don't know- maybe I could-- I
don't even know what I'm looking for...
Steven is intrigued.
STEVEN
Does he have a lawyer?
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 32.
PHILLIP
Yeah.
STEVEN
Have him get in touch with the Prisoner
Rights Committee. They deal with this all
the time- pro bono. I've got the number.
PHILLIP
Well thank you, I--
STEVEN
My name's Steven Russell.
PHILLIP
Pleased to meet you Steven Russell, my
name's Phillip Morris.
STEVEN
I haven't seen you around Phillip. I'm
always in the yard...
PHILLIP
I don't go to the yard. You know what
happens to blonde haired, blue eyed
queers in the yard...
STEVEN
It is kind of rough out there.
(then)
You don't look like you belong here
Phillip.
PHILLIP
I don't.
STEVEN
Why are you here?
PHILLIP
I rented a car... and kept it too long.
STEVEN
Grand theft?
PHILLIP
Theft of service.
STEVEN
Insurance fraud.
PHILLIP
No. Just theft of service.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 33.
STEVEN
No. Me. Insurance fraud.
PHILLIP
Damn, we're both in a mess aren't we?
STEVEN
Don't seem fair, does it?
PHILLIP
No, it don't.
STEVEN
You know, I keep finding that life's a
little shittier than I thought it was
gonna be.
PHILLIP
Oh, listen to you, Gloomy Gus. I think
you're gonna be just fine, Steven
Russell.
Steven takes this to heart.
STEVEN
(playful)
I guess I'm inclined to believe you.
PHILLIP
Why's that?
STEVEN
I met you today, didn't I?
Phillip smiles.
49 INT. TX STATE PENITENTIARY - LAW LIBRARY - 1995 - LATER 49
Steven sits close to Phillip at a table. A large open law
text lies between them.
STEVEN
(mid-sentence)
...I made the mistake of writing her and
saying I was lonely in here. And next
thing you know, my ex-wife catches her
putting the neighbor's puppy in a box to
mail to me.
PHILLIP
Ohhhhh, she sounds so sweet...
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 34.
STEVEN
Oh she's an angel.
(then)
I think I'll be sure to write her back
and tell her I'm not lonely anymore...
that I made a good friend.
Phillip smirks for a moment, but soon Steven notices the
smirk turn to a reticent frown.
STEVEN (CONT'D)
What?
PHILLIP
Why'd I have to meet you today?
STEVEN
Something wrong?
PHILLIP
It's just- I'm being transferred to
Michael Unit today.
STEVEN
What?
PHILLIP
I'm sorry.
STEVEN
Don't be sorry. It's just across the
yard.
PHILLIP
Well I don't go into that yard so it
might as well be Oklahoma.
(then)
Just figures with my luck. I was born
Friday the 13th...
STEVEN
It's not gonna change a thing, Phillip.
In fact, Friday the 13th's my lucky day.
Don't worry, this right here. This is
destiny.
PHILLIP
But we only just met.
STEVEN
Listen, I've loved a lot. And I've been
around, so I recognize the feeling.
(MORE)
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 35.
STEVEN (CONT'D)
That one you and me are having right now-
the one you're trying to forget exists
because you're going away. But there's
about 6000 volts shooting across this
table here and you know you can't deny
it.
PHILLIP
Don't you think you're coming on a little
strong?
STEVEN
I know you're trying to protect yourself,
I get that. It's fine. Give me a chance
to prove you wrong.
Phillip is melting but tries to hide it.
PHILLIP
I'm sure I don't know what you're talking
about.
Steven smiles wide as if to throw down the gauntlet.
STEVEN
Good...
Phillip turns to walk away and hides his giddyness.
50 INT. TX STATE PENITENTIARY - MICHAEL UNIT, 1995 - DAY 50
Phillip passes the cells of Michael Unit, clutching his
belongings and soon enters his cell. He looks around
sheepishly until he is interrupted-
CLEAVON (O.S.)
You Phillip?
Phillip turns to see CLEAVON- a huge black inmate mopping
the hall outside his cell
PHILLIP
Yes.
He tosses Phillip a folded note. He catches it and looks
at it with a smile.
PHILLIP (CONT'D)
Already?
Phillip opens it up. As he reads, his face brightens
considerably.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 36.
STEVEN (V.O.)
Phillip, hope your new place is nice.
Nice enough anyway. I hope the chocolate
made it to you okay. Check the T.P.
Phillip looks at the spare roll of toilet paper and turns
it over. A small chocolate bar is stuck in the tube.
STEVEN (V.O.)
I hope you try to make some new friends
and not be too shy. I guess I should tell
you a little bit about myself...
DISSOLVE TO:
51 INT. TX STATE PEN - MICHAEL UNIT - PHILLIP'S CELL - DAY 51
OPEN CLOSE ON a note as Phillip scrawls it.
PHILLIP (V.O.)
Dear Steven. I keep thinking about you
saying I'm shy. I guess you're right,
but I don't feel shy around you. I think
that means something...
As his VO continues, Phillip folds up the paper and
passes it through the bars back to Cleavon.
52 INT./EXT. TX STATE PENITENTIARY, 1995 (MONTAGE) 52
VARIOUS SHOTS as we follow the note being passed by
different hands and means throughout the prison on its
way to Steven.
PHILLIP (V.O.)
Anyway thanks for the chocolate, but I
should tell you I'm diabetic so I
probably shouldn't... but I did anyway.
It's been so long since anyone's shown me
any kindness and well, it means a lot. I
just wish you were here...
53 INT. TX STATE PEN, 1995 - STEVEN'S CELL - CONTINUOUS 53
Steven reads the letter on his bunk.
PHILLIP (V.O.)
...Write me back soon. Phillip.
Steven finishes the letter and folds it up, looking
strangely expressionless.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 37.
54 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1995 - PHILLIP'S CELL - DAY 54
Phillip peers out of his cell to see Cleavon working his
way nearer with his mop. He's giddy.
Moments later, Cleavon passes him by. Phillip is bummed.
55 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1995 - PHILLIP'S CELL - NEXT DAY 55
Again Phillip watches as Cleavon passes his cell without
leaving a note.
56 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1995 - PHILLIP'S CELL - NEXT DAY 56
Phillip lays in bed, impatiently. He seems upset. He
anxiously peers out the bars and catches a glimpse of the
mopping Cleavon working his way closer to his cell.
PHILLIP
Hurry up would you?
CLEAVON
I ain't no motherfucking DHL, faggot.
Besides I ain't got nothing for you
anyway...
PHILLIP
But it's been three days.
CLEAVON
You got a tracking number, motherfucker?
PHILLIP
No.
CLEAVON
Then shut your faggot ass.
Phillip slumps back onto his bed, depressed.
PHILLIP
Congratulations Phillip, scared off
another one.
A few moments later, he's startled by the CLANG of his
cell door sliding open.
He looks up - a CORRECTIONS OFFICER stands over him.
CORRECTIONS OFFICER
Morris - you got a new roommate.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 38.
This is no consolation to Phillip. He heaves a heavy sigh
until he sees STEVEN enter his cell, clutching a pile of
belongings.
Phillip is overwhelmed as the cell door slams shut behind
Steven.
PHILLIP
Oh my God. How the hell did you do this?
Steven slowly moves closer.
STEVEN
I know a guy. I took care of it. I'm
gonna take care of everything...
Steven gently caresses Phillip's face. Phillip is
melting. Then suddenly, Phillip grabs Steven's ass.
PHILLIP
Enough romance, let's fuck.
They launch themselves onto the bunk and as they get to
business...
FADE OUT.
57 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1995 - PHILLIP'S CELL - THAT NIGHT 57
Phillip and Steven spoon in a glowing post-coital cuddle.
PHILLIP
And for a while I was Executive Assistant
to a Broadway Producer...
STEVEN
Really? What's a Broadway producer doing
in Atlanta?
PHILLIP
I didn't ask.
STEVEN
What'd you do for him?
PHILLIP
I mainly just rode around town in his
limo, drinking and sucking him off.
There's a moment of silence, then a realization...
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 39.
PHILLIP (CONT'D)
Now that I hear myself say it, I think he
was just some rich chicken hawk.
They get a GIGGLE out of this.
PHILLIP (CONT'D)
Oh well, he was a nice guy. I only dated
him for a little while anyway. Then I
dated this full-blooded Apache who made
me dress up like a baseball player.
STEVEN
Apache? What was his name?
PHILLIP
Melvin.
STEVEN
Phillip- you amaze me.
PHILLIP
What? He was a nice guy too.
STEVEN
That's what I'm saying- you only see the
good.
Phillip shrugs, but before he can reply- a piercing human
SCREECH interrupts him.
STEVEN (CONT'D)
What the hell was that?
CUT TO:
58 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1995 - SCREECHER'S CELL - NIGHT 58
The inmate who spit a loogey into the mashed potatoes in
the cafeteria is sitting up on his bed, SCREECHING at the
top of his lungs. This is "THE SCREECHER"
BACK TO:
Phillip continues to talk.
PHILLIP
That's the Screecher next door. He does
it all night. I never get any sleep. He
drives me crazy.
STEVEN
You poor thing. How awful...
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 40.
The Screecher continues his routine.
FADE OUT.
59 OMITTED 59
60 EXT. TEXAS STATE PEN CANTEEN, 1995 - - DAY 60
Phillip emerges from the line munching on a candy bar
when he notices a ruckus on the other side of the fence.
He wanders over to see a LARGE PRISONER beating the crap
out of the Screecher.
LARGE PRISONER
I'm gonna cut out your motherfucking
tongue with your screeching all night.
As guards descend on the two, the Large Prisoner
continues to beat on the screeching SCREECHER.
Phillip sidles up next to a BALD PRISONER.
PHILLIP
What does he care- he ain't in our
block...
BALD PRISONER
Someone probably paid him.
61 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1995 - PHILLIP'S CELL - LATER 61
Reclined on his bunk, Steven does a crossword puzzle.
Phillip enters, standing by the door.
PHILLIP
Get up...
Steven sits up.
PHILLIP (CONT'D)
Did you pay to have the Screecher beat
up?
STEVEN
Me?
PHILLIP
Don't bullshit me. Did you pay to have
him beat up?
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 41.
STEVEN
Well you said he bothered you.
PHILLIP
Just answer me.
STEVEN
Yeah. Yeah, I did.
PHILLIP
Steven...
A tear comes to Phillip's eye.
PHILLIP (CONT'D)
This is the most romantic thing anyone's
ever done for me.
He clamps onto Steven and hugs with all his life.
STEVEN
I just want you to be happy, baby.
PHILLIP
You are so amazing!!!
And as they roll on the bed playfully...
62 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1995 - CLEAVON'S CELL - NIGHT 62
CLEAVON lays on his cot staring at the ceiling.
Eventually a hand enters through the bars holding a
cassette tape.
PHILLIP (O.S.)
Cleavon- put this in.
CLEAVON
No man- not now.
PHILLIP (O.S.)
It's important.
CLEAVON
How important?
Phillip's hand disappears for a moment and comes back
with a FIVE DOLLAR BILL.
CLEAVON (CONT'D)
Ten.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 42.
PHILLIP (O.S.)
Fine. But you gotta play the whole thing.
CLEAVON
Yeah, alright.
PHILLIP (O.S.)
Promise?
CLEAVON
Fuck you- my word's my bond motherfucker.
Cleavon takes the cash and puts the tape in a BOOM BOX.
A familiar romantic TUNE begins to play...
CLEAVON (CONT'D)
Fuck man- Johnny Mathis? Fucking white-
ass nigger...
He buries his head in the pillow as "Chances Are" plays.
63 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1995 - PHILLIP'S CELL - NIGHT 63
As the MUSIC seeps into their dark cell, Steven reads a
LAW BOOK by pen light. Phillip grabs Steven's hand and
tries to pull him off the bed.
PHILLIP
C'mon...
STEVEN
What?
PHILLIP
C'mon. Dance.
STEVEN
No. No... I can't dance.
PHILLIP
Yes you can.
STEVEN
No I can't. I'm serious...
PHILLIP
Honey, you're queer- it comes with the
package.
STEVEN
Well not me.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 43.
PHILLIP
C'mon, I'll show you...
He drags him up and begins his lesson.
PHILLIP (CONT'D)
Hold me here... and here. Okay watch...
Steven stumbles his way through the slow dance for a
while, but with Phillip's help he begins to settle in.
Soon they are nestled into each other, swaying sweetly to
the music.
64 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1995 - COMMON AREA - NIGHT 64
The MUSIC CONTINUES as a group of prisoners watch a VHS
copy of GHOST on a TV.
Phillip wipes away a tear and Steven holds him closer
while, in the front row, a ONE-EYED LATINO jerks off to
the sight of Demi Moore.
LATINO MAN
Yeah you fucking bitch...
65 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1995 - CAFETERIA - DAY 65
MUSIC CONTINUES as tray after tray is filled with gray
slop. This persists until suddenly two of the trays
receive a beautiful STEAK and some SHRIMP.
Steven nods at the Slopmaster and offers a wink to a very
impressed Phillip.
66 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1995 - SHOWERS - MORNING 66
MUSIC CONTINUES as Phillip and Steven shave side by side,
smiling at one another.
67 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1995 -PHILLIP'S CELL - NIGHT 67
MUSIC plays on as Steven and Phillip continue their
romantic dance.
They are unfazed as the lights in the cellblock go out
with the loud sound of circuits tripping. They dance on.
GUARD (O.S.)
LIGHTS OUT!
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 44.
Eventually, the hollow sound of Johnny Mathis
reverberating through the block is the only thing we
hear. They dance on.
GUARD (O.S.) (CONT'D)
LIGHTS OUT!
They continue to dance. Footsteps approaching are heard.
GUARD (CONT'D)
I said lights out. Turn it off.
CLEAVON (O.S.)
Fuck you pig.
GUARD (O.S.)
Turn it off or we're coming in.
CLEAVON (O.S.)
Well come on in. I got a dick that needs
sucking.
CLANK! OFFSCREEN we hear the cell door open and the sound
of a scuffle is heard.
VOICES (O.S.)
ON THE GROUND! FUCK YOU! MY WORD IS MY
FUCKING BOND! MY WORD IS MY FUCKING BOND!
And as the sounds of a horrendous beating echo through
the cellblock, Phillip and Steven dance their dance-
oblivious to all but each other.
FADE TO BLACK.
68 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1995 - PHILLIP'S CELL - MORNING 68
Phillip and Steven sleep soundly together in the bunk. A
CLAXON blares and their cell door OPENS- accompanied by
the sound of a dozen others.
GUARD (O.S.)
Rise and shine!
They barely stir until-- CLANG-CLANG-CLANG! A GUARD hits
the bars with his club.
GUARD (CONT'D)
Russell! Get up!
Steven and Phillip are rudely awakened.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 45.
GUARD (CONT'D)
Grab your shit! Let's go!
The GUARDS enter to roust Steven.
PHILLIP
What's happening?
GUARD
You're transferred. Nonney snitched you
out about the Screecher. You're going to
Ramsey Two.
STEVEN
Ah shit...
They grab Steven and yank him out of the cell.
PHILLIP
Wait!
Phillip tries to follow but a guard knocks him back down
onto the bunk.
STEVEN
Don't you touch him!
PHILLIP
Steven-
STEVEN
Don't worry Phillip- I'll-
GUARD
Shut up and move.
They drag him off. Phillip watches with deep worry as
another guard keeps him there. He grows more and more
upset, pacing and working himself up.
Finally, the guard leaves and Phillip exits his cell and
bolts down the tier after Steven.
68A EXT. TEXAS STATE PEN BREEZEWAY, 1995 - MORNING 68A
Phillip runs after Steven, quickly arriving at a LOCKED
GATE. Steven is on the other side, still being escorted
away. Phillip is forced to find an alternative route.
69 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1995 - COMMON AREA - CONTINUOUS 69
Phillip marches through the common area, fighting tears.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 46.
70 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1995 - M BLOCK - CONTINUOUS 70
Phillip runs through another cell block until he comes to
a window. He looks outside.
PHILLIP
Steven!
71 EXT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1995 - SALLY PORT - CONTINUOUS 71
PHILLIP'S POV: Steven is waiting in line with some other
prisoners to board a bus.
Phillip can be seen through the small window, but he
fails to get Steven's attention.
He bangs silently on the glass.
72 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1995 - M BLOCK - CONTINUOUS 72
Phillip continues in vain to get Steven's attention.
PHILLIP
STEVEN!! STEVEN!
He sees the line at the sally port start to move and
stops to think. He knows what he has to do.
73 EXT. TX STATE PEN BREEZEWAY, 1995 - YARD GATE - DAY 73
Phillip runs down a breezeway. Eventually he reaches a
heavily populated gate, manned by a YARD GUARD.
PHILLIP
I wanna go in the yard.
YARD GUARD
You do?
PHILLIP
I WANNA GO IN THE YARD!
YARD GUARD
Hold your horses Dorothy.
The Yard Guard pushes a button that opens the gate and
Phillip bursts through.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 47.
74 EXT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1995 - YARD - DAY 74
Phillip runs through the yard, passing GIANT WOLF-
WHISTLING INMATES as they put down their weights and stop
their basketball games.
Phillip maintains his focus on the sally port on the
other side of the far fence.
PHILLIP
STEVEN!!!!
Boarding the bus, Steven hears him and turns. Delighted,
he's forced on board by a Guard before he can respond.
PHILLIP (CONT'D)
STEVEN!
Steven gets in his seat and yells out the window.
STEVEN
What the hell are you doing!?
PHILLIP
I love you!
STEVEN
I love you too!
VROOM! The bus starts up and begins to move.
STEVEN (CONT'D)
We'll be together soon! I promise!
The bus drives off. Phillip runs along with it for a
while as they share a long goodbye. And eventually, the
bus disappears from view.
Phillip clings to the fence a moment, hanging on to hope.
He slumps and turns-
-only to find himself confronted by several HULKING
MEMBERS OF THE ARYAN BROTHERHOOD with one thing on their
minds.
Phillip marches right toward them and as he draws close-
PHILLIP
GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY WAY!!!
Startled, they split to let Phillip pass unmolested.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 48.
75 INT. TEXAS STATE PENITENTIARY HOSPITAL WARD - 1998 - DAY 75
Back in the present, Steven remains in his hospital bed
at the Penitentiary Infirmary.
STEVEN (V.O.)
Those were the longest three months of my
life. I wrote to Phillip every day until
I got released.
76 EXT. TEXAS STATE PENITENTIARY, 1995 - SALLY PORT - DAY 76
CLANG! The gate of the prison closes behind Steven as he
exits. He approaches a waiting TAXI.
STEVEN (V.O.)
And once I did, I was determined to get
us back together as soon as possible.
77 INT. TAXI, 1995 - CONTINUOUS 77
Steven gets in.
STEVEN
Hi, how are you?
TAXI DRIVER
I'm well. Where you headed? The
Greyhound?
STEVEN
Nearest thrift store please.
TAXI DRIVER
(harelip)
Sure. You mind if I tell you the word of
our Lord, Jesus Christ?
The car pulls out, the prison receding behind them.
78 EXT. TEXAS STATE PENITENTIARY, 1995 - SALLY PORT - LATER 78
The same taxi pulls up in front of the prison and Steven
emerges with a BRIEFCASE, wearing a THREE-PIECE SUIT.
He rings the buzzer at the front gate.
79 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1995 - GUARD BOOTH - DAY 79
Steven approaches the DUTY OFFICER.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 49.
STEVEN
Hi there, my name's Steven Rousseau. I'm
an attorney. My client is Phillip
Morris. I called earlier.
The guard checks his roster.
DUTY OFFICER
Mmm hmmm. There you are. Rousseau...
Phillip Morris. Like the cigarette huh?
STEVEN
I beg your pardon?
80 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1995 - VISITING AREA - DAY 80
Phillip enters to see Steven waiting for him on the other
side of the glass. Thrilled, he rushes to the phone.
PHILLIP
You said you'd come right away, but
Jesus!
STEVEN
I got work to do honey, I'm getting you
out of here early. I got a hearing
tomorrow morning, I got motions to file.
The law don't sleep baby.
PHILLIP
I love you so much.
STEVEN
Phillip, you are the sweetest, most
gentle man I have ever met. And I know
people have taken advantage of that. But
I don't ever want you ever to lose that
innocence. I want to build a life with
you Phillip. I want to protect you.
They share a smile.
PHILLIP
Get me out of here.
81 INT. DELI OFFICE - DAY 81
Steven stands over a desk, talking sternly into a
telephone.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 50.
STEVEN
The motion was filed, I presented to the
DA and got a letter from the judge- I do
not understand what the hold up is. I'm
not some paralegal- I am Steven fucking
Rousseau and I expect proper
adjudication!
PULLOUT to reveal he's actually standing behind a
KROEGER'S SUPERMARKET DELI COUNTER in uniform as a
HOUSEWIFE waits impatiently. He hangs up.
STEVEN (CONT'D)
(big smile)
My boyfriend's getting out of prison next
week!
She smiles back.
HOUSEWIFE
How nice...
STEVEN
You want mayo with that?
82 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1995 - PRISON RECEIVING AREA - DAY 82
Steven slides paperwork through a slot in plexiglass
window toward a RELEASE OFFICER.
STEVEN
I have an early release order for Phillip
Morris.
The Officer glances at the paperwork.
RELEASE OFFICER
Yep- Morris- we got him right here
waiting.
CLANK-CLANG. The door begins to open as the Officer
stamps some of the paperwork.
RELEASE OFFICER (CONT'D)
And you are--?
STEVEN
I'm his lawyer.
Phillip runs into his arms. As they kiss, the officer
offers a surprised look.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 51.
PHILLIP
You're incredible.
STEVEN
I know.
83 INT. PASSABLE APARTMENT, 1995 - HOUSTON - NIGHT 83
A PARTY to celebrate Phillip's release. Steven and
Phillip stand at the door as FRIENDS file in and greet
him boisterously.
BAYLOR
Phillllip! It's so good to see you...
Another friend enters.
BLAKE
Oh my God! You look great. Prison agreed
with you. How do I get on that diet?
PHILLIP
Oh you couldn't handle it- not unless we
smuggled an espresso machine in a cake.
BLAKE
Throw in a Sicilian Barista and I'm
there!
PHILLIP
This is Steven. Steven- Blake and Baylor.
BLAKE
(Gasp) This is him?! This is your gay
lawyer prison boyfriend?! Pleased to
meet you.
BAYLOR
Much better than the guy who had you
kidnapped. What was his name?
Steven looks to Phillip, perplexed.
PHILLIP
Long story.
STEVEN
(regroups, to others)
Can I get you all a drink?
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 52.
84 INT. PASSABLE APARTMENT KITCHEN, 1995 - LATER THAT NIGHT 84
Steven works his way through the crowded apartment
struggling to hold a few cocktail glasses for guests.
He eventually arrives next to Phillip, who is having a
great time with another friend- and older woman named
EUDORA MIXON.
STEVEN
We gotta get a bigger place.
PHILLIP
Steven I want you to meet my old neighbor-
Eudora Mixon. She is just the sweetest.
EUDORA
Pleasure Steven.
STEVEN
Eudora...
PHILLIP
Eudora owns a little building in Montrose
and she's having a hell of time with the
builder. He sounds like a real asshole.
EUDORA
His plans were useless and he's trying to
sue me to pay him! I need your expertise
Steven. Phillip says maybe you can help.
STEVEN
I could certainly try.
EUDORA
Can you still practice law, having been
to prison?
STEVEN
Sure- why not?
EUDORA
I just thought- Oh what do I know? I'd
just be glad to have someone I could
trust. I'll pay your normal fee.
Steven doesn't miss a beat. He smiles wide.
STEVEN
It would be my pleasure. Litigation is my
speciality.
Phillip beams with pride over Steven's decision.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 53.
85 INT. HOUSTON COURTHOUSE CORRIDOR, 1995 - DAY 85
Eudora waits on a bench in the corridor, nervously
glancing at her watch. Steven stands behind a column
down the hall hiding and watching. He looks at his
watch, then approaches her.
STEVEN
Sorry I'm late but I've been hung up in
court all day. Let's go in.
86 INT. HOUSTON COURTROOM, 1995 - DAY 86
STEVEN'S POV: A beautifully ornate courthouse LIGHT
FIXTURE hangs from a courthouse ceiling.
ON STEVEN, staring up at it with admiration.
JUDGE (O.S.)
Mister Russell?
Steven snaps out of it and responds to a waiting JUDGE.
STEVEN
It's a beautiful fixture.
JUDGE
I know. It's your turn.
STEVEN
Oh...
(then)
Your Honor, Ms. Mixon engaged Mr. Gage
service in good faith and was given an
inferior product. She is entitled to deem
that work to be unacceptable according to
the contract that Mr. Evans signed.
LAWYER
The terms of that contract were ambiguous
at best. The truth is, defendant engaged
my client for three years without full
payment.
STEVEN
Your honor I have, in my briefcase,
fourteen other contracts, all on public
record, in which Mr. Evans entered into
litigation with past clients of his!
Eudora glances into Steven's opened BRIEFCASE. It
contains only a SANDWICH and a PHOTO OF PHILLIP.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 54.
The shocked LAWYER turns to his client (EVANS).
LAWYER
(whispers)
Is this true?
EVANS
No.
LAWYER
You're making me look like an idiot.
He regroups and addresses the judge.
LAWYER (CONT'D)
Your honor, I don't have to tell you that
none of this is admissable or applicable
to the case at hand. Mr. Russell's
histrionics do not erase the fact that
his client is in breech of contract.
JUDGE
He is right Mr. Russell- what do you have
to say?
Steven is stonewalled. He looks to Eudora as if to say,
"What do I do now?" and it terrifies her.
Desperate, Steven bangs his fist on the table and looks
resolutely to the judge.
STEVEN
I demand to be seen in chambers!!
The judge and lawyer seem mystified by this response.
JUDGE
Okaaaaaaaay...
87 INT. HOUSTON JUDGE'S CHAMBERS, 1995 - DAY 87
The Lawyer sits impatiently while Steven peruses a wall
of plaques, photos and diplomas. He focuses on a law
school DEGREE from INDIANA COLLEGE OF LAW. Next to it, a
PHOTO of the judge as a YOUNG MAN on a farm. He's from
humble roots.
A moment later, the Judge enters.
JUDGE
Okay gentlemen, let's get this over with,
the two for one at the Crab Boiler ends
at five o'clock.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 55.
LAWYER
This seems to be cut and dried here, sir.
I don't even know why we're back here.
Mister Russell is treating this like an
episode of Matlock.
STEVEN
I'll admit your honor- I'm a plain spoken
man. I didn't go to Princeton. I didn't
go to Yale. My education was modest. I
went to a small school. I grew up on a
small farm. But I passed the same bar
exam as my colleague here and I am not
going to let him push around this humble
woman.
This scores with the judge.
JUDGE
Point taken Mister Russell...
He glares at the other lawyer with scorn.
JUDGE (CONT'D)
...but where are you going with this?
STEVEN
I think it's obvious where I'm going with
this sir.
A long SILENCE. The Judge waits and waits until something
occurs to him.
JUDGE
Are you talking about Marshall vs. Chao?
Steven doesn't know what this means... But the other
lawyer does. And he's not happy.
LAWYER
(sotto)
Shit...
Seeing this, Steven puffs with confidence.
STEVEN
Your honor, that's exactly what I'm
talking about.
The Judge slowly nods to himself as he considers this.
SMASH CUT TO:
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 56.
88 INT. HOUSTON COURTHOUSE CORRIDOR, 1995 - DAY 88
Outside the courtroom with Eudora, Steven is ecstatic.
STEVEN
YES! I did great! Can you believe how
great I did!?
EUDORA
(wary)
Yes. You did very well, Steven. Thank
you.
STEVEN
I mean, I did great! Really great! I'm so
proud of myself! You want half my
sandwich?!
EUDORA
Um...
STEVEN
No! We're going out! I'm paying!!
89 INT. NEW HOUSTON APARTMENT, 1996 - DAY 89
Phillip stands flabbergasted next to Steven in the middle
of a large modern apartment.
PHILLIP
Oh my God, it's amazing.
STEVEN
I thought you'd like it honey.
PHILLIP
Can we afford this?
STEVEN
You let me worry about the money
sweetheart.
PHILLIP
Okay, well I guess I better start packing
boxes.
STEVEN
Not this weekend.
PHILLIP
Why not?
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 57.
STEVEN
I think we both need a vacation. Key
West?
Phillip smiles.
90 OMITTED 90
91 I/E. KEY WEST COVE - 1996 - VARIOUS 91
PALM TREES undulate on the constant breeze, inviting us
to a beautifully solitary cove. Eventually Steven and
Phillip's voices are heard.
PHILLIP (O.S.)
I've been meaning to ask you something.
STEVEN (O.S.)
Yeah?
DIALOGUE CONTINUES OVER VARIOUS SHOTS of their romantic
getaway to the Keys. In a SERIES of SHOTS we see where
they've been and what they've been doing in the moments
AFTER they've been there.
- A Hammock blowing in the breeze.
- A quaint COTTAGE nestled in the vegetation.
- Half empty glasses of beer on the porch.
- Dirty dishes in the cottage sink. The remains of a
romantic meal on a table. The swaying palms are visible
through the windows.
- Footsteps in the sand.
- Two beach chairs facing the surf.
- Etc... etc...
PHILLIP (O.S.)
That birthday cake you got me in the pen?
Where'd you get those candles?
STEVEN (O.S.)
Oh you know... just... people I knew.
PHILLIP (O.S.)
Yeah, I know. But how?
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 58.
STEVEN (O.S.)
Remember that guard? Skinny guy? Smoked a
lot?
PHILLIP (O.S.)
Lance? He couldn't been more than 98
pounds.
STEVEN (O.S.)
Yeah, that's him.
PHILLIP (O.S.)
Oh he was such an asshole.
STEVEN (O.S.)
Actually- I was in the yard once. Another
guard asked him to pay him back five. He
opened his wallet and I saw this picture
of a little girl about Steffie's age. So
I brought it up to him once, just to get
him talking. That's the thing about
having kids, you know? Gets people
talking. Shared experience. Builds
bridges. Something I learned. Anyway he
tells me he's worried about her- mamma
was gone. We talked awhile. You know, I
just listened. That's all. I brought up
the candles just one time but mostly just
listened... And the next day, bedtime,
there they were.
91A EXT. PALM BEACH COVE - 1996 - DUSK - CONTINUOUS 91A
The dialogue continues on the beach as we finally see
Steven and Phillip enjoying the sunset by the light of a
small fire on the beach.
PHILLIP
How'd you know he'd do that?
STEVEN
I didn't. I just knew I wanted `em for
you... and I found a way to do it. That's
all.
Phillip smiles, eyes never leaving the sunset.
PHILLIP
Just listenin' huh?
STEVEN
That's it...
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 59.
And as the sun sets on the shimmering water--
92 EXT. OCEAN, 1996 - DAY 92
An empty 21-foot MOTORBOAT bobs atop placid seas, fishing
poles dangling over the side. The SOUND of two men
enjoying themselves can be heard.
After reaching their inevitable conclusion, the VOICES
gasp for air.
PHILLIP (O.S.)
(winded)
I'm gonna get a Coke... you want a Coke?
STEVEN (O.S.)
Uh huh... *
Phillip spits something over the railing... *
STEVEN (CONT'D) *
Aw, you don't love me... *
And as Phillip smiles and wipe his chin. *
STEVEN (V.O.)
With Phillip I felt strong. I felt
invincible. I promised myself he would
never want for anything ever again. That
meant I needed a real job. Something
dependable. And- no more scams.
FADE IN:
96 INT. USAMM HQ - LINDHOLM'S OFFICE - 1996 - DAY 96
A bored Steven waits in the middle of a big wig's office.
He looks at PHOTOS on a nearby wall of a broad-shouldered
all-American man dressed in a NASA jump suit performing
various astronautical training tasks.
He picks up a small ASTRONAUT FIGURINE and examines it.
LINDHOLM (O.S.)
Sorry to keep you waiting Steven.
Steven turns to find Dan Lindholm, the broad-shouldered
man himself.
LINDHOLM (CONT'D)
I'm Dan Lindholm.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 60.
STEVEN
Were you a spaceman?
LINDHOLM
Yep. Never got out there though. NASA's
a real political place. Never could
figure out whose ass to kiss to get a
mission.
(then)
All in the past. Barely even think about
it now...
CUT TO REVEAL a HUGE MODEL of the SPACE SHUTTLE that
engulfs half the room. Steven puts the figurine back.
STEVEN
A spaceman, huh? How do you crap up
there?
LINDHOLM
Ass gasket.
(draws on his coffee)
Have a seat.
Steven sits across the desk from Lindholm .
LINDHOLM (CONT'D)
With the popularity of HMO's in today's
health care system, doctors need help
managing their billing-- so they can
focus on their patients. That's where
USA Medical Management comes in. Hundreds
of millions of dollars pass through our
system from the HMO's to the doctors.
It's a critical business. A powerful
business...
(beat)
So when I read your resume, I wasn't sure
what to think. Your level of education
and your past experience would factor
heavily into this decision and frankly...
Steven deflates in expectation.
LINDHOLM (CONT'D)
...you were head and shoulders above the
rest. I mean, I could hardly believe it.
But when I called your references-- well
they couldn't speak more highly of you.
SMASH CUT TO:
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 61.
97 INT. NEW HOUSTON APARTMENT KITCHEN - 1996 - DAY 97
Steven makes breakfast in his tightie-whities while
talking on the phone. Phillip is in the background doing
a crossword puzzle at the kitchen table.
STEVEN
I could not speak more highly of Steven
Russell, Mr. Lindholm . A real straight
shooter. We were damn lucky to have him
at Prudential as long as we did.
In his own world, Phillip chimes in.
PHILLIP
Brando's wet debut?
Steven covers the phone with his hand.
STEVEN
On the Waterfront.
BACK TO:
98 INT. LINDHOLM'S OFFICE - 1996 - DAY 98
Dan continues to wax on about Steven.
LINDHOLM
Employee of the year two years running?
Developing software with IBM? You're the
kind of people we need here Steven. We
want you as our Chief Financial Officer.
So what do you say? I want your answer
right now. C'mon Steven- let's light
this candle.
As Steven pretends to mull--
99 INT. USAMM - STEVEN'S OFFICE - 1996 - DAY 99
An uptight assistant (RHEBA) leads Steven into his fancy
new office.
RHEBA
...for example "he's in a meeting" sounds
better than "he's away from his desk" at
least I think so, but whatever you
prefer.
STEVEN
That's fine... sure.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 62.
She leads him to his new desk which is stacked with
folders, files, printouts and reams of data.
RHEBA
I pulled all the claims for the last two
years as well as the statements,
transfers and confirmations from the
bank. Most of it's routine and I think
you can get up to speed in a day or two.
(then)
Anything else I can do for you?
STEVEN
Uh.... cup of coffee?
RHEBA
I'll do it today but I don't do that
really.
Steven nods and turns his attention to the sea of numbers
before him. He looks concerned as he begins to leaf
through.
100 INT. USAMM BOARDROOM - 1996 - DAY 100
Steven sits in a board meeting, surrounded by all of the
company honchos. Dan Lindholm lords over the gathering
at the head of the table while a suit (MARK) reads from a
report to the group.
MARK
Crossover from traditional markets shows
declination and inverse diffusion seems
commensurate with net-trade trending. HMO
penetration still leads PPO, NMO and FMO
as usual but attenuation is growing more
prevalent in Q4 as projected... As for
Q3, well Q3 is what Q3 always is: Q2 with
training wheels.
Everyone LAUGHS, but no one quite as hard as Steven who
desperately tries to fit in.
Larry Birkheim, the CEO of USAMM sits beside Dan
Lindholm. He chimes in.
BIRKHEIM
Okay Steven, your turn. I know you've
only had the one quarter to play catch up
but I tell you, we can't wait to get some
insight here.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 63.
STEVEN
Sure. What about?
BIRKHEIM
Mark's projections.
STEVEN
Mmm hm. Sure.
BIRKHEIM
They seem kind of flat.
STEVEN
Oh. Okay. Ummm...
Steven fumbles through some folders and vamps a while.
STEVEN (CONT'D)
Well I did a lot of work here and uh... I
think maybe... well I could just read it
to you but uh... it might be better to
just uh...
The group looks at him quizzically. Just as it seems
Steven has been up to nothing--
STEVEN (CONT'D)
Well, I'll just show you. Todd?
TODD, an incredibly hot assistant unveils an easel full
of detailed tables. Steven walks the board through an
incredibly well prepared presentation.
STEVEN (CONT'D)
If you look here at Mark's projections
again for Q3, you'll see- well you'll see
they're just that- projections.
Projections based on a model set by my
predecessor. I decided to reject that
model and do things a little differently.
I want to show you my results. This is
what we actually made in Q3--
Todd flips to the next card. The graphs GROW
exponentially. The group is intrigued.
STEVEN (CONT'D)
Now let me tell you how I did it...
Todd unveils another card, the men are impressed by the
unseen image.
And as Steven explains himself, Dan and Birkheim smile
broadly and turn to each other with smug assurance.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 64.
101 INT. NEW APARTMENT KITCHEN - 1996 - NIGHT 101
OPEN CLOSE on a candy wrapper opening. A hand removes
the candy revealing an INSPIRING MESSAGE printed inside
the wrapper- "When two hearts race, both win."
ON PHILLIP. He's deeply touched by the sentiment as he
chews on the candy. He puts the wrapper on the
REFRIGERATOR with a MAGNET.
He opens ANOTHER. He chews and reads- "Commit random acts
of kindness"
Again he's touched and puts it on the refrigerator.
He opens ANOTHER and pops the candy in his mouth. He
reads- "A smile is a flower on your face"
He's disgusted by the trite sentiment and THROWS THE
WRAPPER IN THE TRASH. A beat later, he REMOVES THE CANDY
from his mouth and THROWS THAT IN THE TRASH TOO.
Just then Steven walks by in a TUXEDO, adjusting his tie.
PHILLIP
The tux? Where are you going?
STEVEN
It's just a work thing. Were we supposed
to--
PHILLIP
No- I just thought- it's fine. Where you
going?
STEVEN
Some stupid gala ball thing...
PHILLIP
Gala? Oh...
(playing it off)
Sounds boring.
STEVEN
Yeah. I'll be home early. Promise.
102 INT. HOUSTON BALLROOM - 1996 - NIGHT 102
A black-tie cocktail party is in full swing. Steven eats
a canapé by a window. Something outside catches his eye.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 65.
103 EXT. HOUSTON BALLROOM BALCONY, 1996 - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS 103
Dan Lindholm is out on the balcony staring up at the
starry sky. Steven approaches.
LINDHOLM
You see that?
Dan points out a small dot of light moving across the
sky. Steven squints.
STEVEN
No...
(realizing)
Oh- is it...?
LINDHOLM
Yeah. Probably deploying the arm right
now. Just a satellite deployment.
Nothing special... Just touching the face
of God.
He chokes back a tear, then throws an arm around Steven.
LINDHOLM (CONT'D)
I want you to meet my wife.
104 INT. HOUSTON BALLROOM, 1996 - NIGHT 104
Dan Lindholm escorts Steven to BEVERLY Lindholm and a
ghastly gaggle of Texas society WIVES.
LINDHOLM
Bev- Ladies- I want you to meet Steven
Russell, our CFO.
MRS. LINDHOLM
Oh I heard about you.
STEVEN
Good things I hope.
MRS. LINDHOLM
Yes and no. Don's bellyaching about how
big your Christmas bonus is gonna be
because you're making him so much money.
A GIGGLE infects the group. Another WIFE speaks up.
FACELIFT WIFE
Are you married Steven?
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 66.
STEVEN
Uh... engaged.
BLONDE WIFE
Well where is she, sweetheart?
STEVEN
She works. Travels a lot. It's killing
her she couldn't be here.
And as the wives fret symathetically-
105 INT. USAMM OFFICE - 1996 - DAY 105
Steven saunters over to VERA the company accountant who
is stamping some checks. He places some papers on her
desk.
STEVEN
These are ready for Dan ...
VERA
Thanks Steven. You doin' good?
STEVEN
Kind of. I just got back from my lawyer's
office. I asked him, "What's your fee?"
He says, "I charge $50 for three
questions." So I ask, "Don't you think
that's a little expensive?" And he says,
"Yes it is... Now what's your final
question?"
Vera EXPLODES with laughter.
VERA
It's so true. Lawyers!
She turns to a colleague.
VERA (CONT'D)
Annie! Come here, you gotta hear this!
106 INT. UPSCALE HOUSTON RESTAURANT - 1996 - DAY 106
Steven sits at a high powered lunch with Dan Lindholm and
Larry Birkheim. He is diligently taking notes.
BIRKHEIM
That's the thing about the back nine at
Pebble Beach.
(MORE)
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 67.
BIRKHEIM (CONT'D)
I don't care what your handicap is...
that sand wedge is gonna get a workout-
LINDHOLM
I couldn't agree with you more. I
remember one time, I was at Augusta...
As Dan prattles on, Steven continues to write on his
pad. CUT TO REVEAL he's doodling pictures of SMILEY-
FACED PENISES.
107 INT. USAMM - BREAK ROOM - 1996 - DAY 107
Steven refills his mug of coffee while in the background,
two SECRETARIES dish.
SECRETARY
The woman says,"That's awful expensive,
isn't it?" and the lawyer says, "Yes and
now you only got one question left!"
She laughs LOUDER than the woman listening to the joke.
SECRETARY (CONT'D)
`Cause he already asked the two!
They both laugh loudly now as Steven exits.
108 INT. HOUSTON BANQUET ROOM - 1996 - DAY 108
Steven and Dan Lindholm stand at the omelette station at
a high class brunch buffet.
LINDHOLM
(to cook)
Mushroom and cheese.
(to Steven)
Anyway like I was saying the Northrup guy
says to the NASA "well that question's
gonna cost fifty million to answer" so
NASA says, "Don't you think that's a lot
of money?" and Northrup says "Yep, now
you owe us another fifty million. Next
question please!"
This sounds eerily familiar. Steven laughs a COURTESY
LAUGH.
STEVEN
Yeah that's a good one...
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 68.
LINDHOLM
That's why there's so few shuttle
missions. They're wasting all their
money on bureaucracy. And probes...
Unmanned probes.
(then)
Like people care if there's life on Mars.
(to cook)
No mushrooms, I said.
109 INT. NEW HOUSTON APARTMENT, 1996 - LIVING ROOM - MORNING 109
Phillip test his blood sugar by applying a test strip to
his bloody thumb. He compares the strip to small card
with a blood sugar chart.
Contented with the result, he puts the everything away in
a small BLACK LEATHER BAG containing INSULIN and
SYRINGES.
Steven passes by in the BACKGROUND with a brand new bag
of golf clubs. Phillip is instantly puzzled.
PHILLIP
Golf!?
STEVEN
What?
PHILLIP
You're a homosexual.
STEVEN
It's work.
PHILLIP
You know, you can tell them. They can't
fire you for being gay.
STEVEN
I know...
PHILLIP
I'm trying to be understanding here
honey, but golf? Why not just eat pussy?
STEVEN
(exiting)
Wish me luck.
PHILLIP
Good luck!
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 69.
110 EXT. HOUSTON GOLF COURSE - 1996 - DAY 110
Steven, Lindholm and two CLIENTS are at the first tee.
Steven nervously tees up. He does his best recollection
of a warm up and hits the ball. It's not a good drive,
but it does go about thirty yards.
STEVEN
Oh! This is easy!
(cocky, Butch)
Your turn Dan!
111 EXT. HOUSTON GOLF COURSE SANDTRAP - 1996 - LATER 111
As Lindholm and the Clients wait, a periodic spray of
sand flies up from the trap behind them as unseen Steven
swings in vain.
LINDHOLM
Hell of a hazard ain't it Steven?
Eventually, a ball flies out of the trap.
STEVEN (O.S.)
(to ball)
Oh yeah! How ya like that, sister!?
CUT TO:
112 EXT. HOUSTON GOLF COURSE FAIRWAY - 1996 - DAY 112
Steven and the Client amble along a few yards behind Dan
and the other client. Steven is covered in sweat and
sand.
CLIENT
So the black fella says to the jew lawyer-
"50 bucks a question? Ain't that
expensive?" "Yeah it's expensive," he
says, "I'm a Jew, you nigger!"
The man laughs to himself.
CLIENT (CONT'D)
Get it?!!
He soon spots his ball up ahead.
CLIENT (CONT'D)
There I am.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 70.
He moves on, leaving Steven standing there, disgusted.
MATCH CUT TO:
113 INT. USAMM - STEVEN'S OFFICE - 1996 - DAY 113
Steven sits at his desk, detached and fed up.
STEVEN (V.O.)
Maybe it was because it's just my nature,
or maybe it was because of my past... or
maybe it was because they were the most
boring fucking people I'd ever met in my
life...
(beat)
Whatever the reason, I had been robbing
them blind for months.
114 INT. USAMM - STEVEN'S OFFICE - 1996 - DAY 114
FLASHBACK to Steven's first day on the job as his RHEBA
escorts him to a desk piled high with financial reports.
RHEBA
Anything else I can do for you?
STEVEN
Uh.... cup of coffee?
RHEBA
I'll do it today but I don't do that
really.
Steven nods and begins to leaf through various folders.
It isn't long before something catches his eye.
115 MONTAGE: HOW MONEY FLOWS AT USAMM-- 115
QUICK CUTS of Steven researching by leafing through
folders and files INTERCUT with a slow push in on a CHECK
PRINTING MACHINE as it spits out product as well as TIME
LAPSE footage of employees buzzing through one of the
USAM hallways.
STEVEN (V.O.)
The thing about U-SAMM was that they took
in all this HMO money and distributed it
to doctors.
(MORE)
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 71.
STEVEN (V.O.) (CONT'D)
But in the time between receiving the
money and paying it out- it was just
sitting there, not making interest or
anything.
116 INT. USAMM - STEVEN'S OFFICE - 1996 - DAY 116
At his desk, Steven leafs through the company finances.
STEVEN (V.O.)
It occurred to me to set up an investment
account where the held money would earn
interest for the short time that the
company had it. We're talking twenty two
million at any given time here, so even
short term the interest adds up pretty
quickly. I'd be making the company
millions virtually overnight.
He leans back to think to himself.
STEVEN (V.O.)
...and I of course would take a
commission. Say... fifty percent. The
only problem with that was-- I wasn't the
one signing the checks.
117 INT. USAMM OFFICE - 1996 - DAY 117
OPEN CLOSE on a check being signature-stamped with a
RUBBER STAMP. A hand places the stamp into a small wooden
box and closes it.
CUT WIDE to reveal the hand belongs to VERA, the company
accountant and STEVEN is standing over her. It is now we
realize we are revisiting an earlier scene.
STEVEN
So I ask, "Don't you think that's a
little expensive?" and the lawyer says,
"Yes it is, now what's your final
question?"
Vera EXPLODES with laughter.
VERA
It's so true. Lawyers!
She turns to a colleague.
VERA (CONT'D)
Annie! Come here, you gotta hear this!
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 72.
And as ANNIE comes over, Steven's hand moves to the
wooden box and secretly plucks the RUBBER STAMP.
118 INT. USAMM - STEVEN'S OFFICE - 1996 - DAY 118
Lindholm raps on the open door as he enters.
LINDHOLM
Steven, we got a problem. Vera lost that
stupid rubber stamp again. Her office is
a goddamned disaster and she's the o-ring
if you know what I'm saying.
STEVEN
(faux)
Oh... how long till we can get a new one?
LINDHOLM
Nope. Time to overhaul the program. I got
a computerized system already on order.
No more room for pilot error.
Steven hangs his head, visibly disappointed.
LINDHOLM (CONT'D)
Should be up and running in a couple
months. I want you signing the checks
until then.
Steven brightens up suddenly.
STEVEN
Really?! Great!
LINDHOLM
You play golf?
STEVEN
Uhhh... yeah. Sure.
119 EXT. HOUSTON SUBURB - NEW HOUSE - 1996 - DAY 119
A huge MOVING TRUCK is parked before an impressive house
in an upscale neighborhood. MOVERS unload and roll
dollies past two matching MERCEDES COUPES.
Steven and Phillip oversee the work- each holding
matching MINIATURE PINCERS.
They smile wide. Moments later an OFFSCREEN HONK gets
their attention.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 73.
They look to see a SPORTING GOODS TRUCK pulling up with
two JET-SKIS hitched to a trailer.
PHILLIP
(wowed)
How big was this Christmas bonus?
STEVEN
(covering)
Pretty big.
PHILLIP
In July?
Phillip is slightly suspicious.
120 I/E. NEW HOUSE / BACKYARD - 1996 - MORNING 120
Various vignettes of Steven and Phillip's new home.
PHILLIP (O.S.)
(mid-story)
The sheriff is desperate and goes to a
psychic. All the woman says is rabbit.
Rabbit-rabbit-rabbit, that's all. Well
he thinks `bullshit' and he's driving
back home and what happens? He sees a
rabbit crossing the street in front of
him. So he pulls over and follows it into
the woods and he finds the missing car.
All wrecked and turned over and the
girl's inside... still alive.
Eventually we find Steven and Phillip in the BACKYARD on
a large DOUBLE CHAISE LOUNGE. Their sleeping min-pins
are between them.
STEVEN
No.
PHILLIP
I swear. It's in the Ricky Martin People
in the bathroom.
Steven smiles and cuddles up.
PHILLIP (CONT'D)
Yeah... they can find out all sorts of
stuff, those people.
STEVEN
Mmm hmm...
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 74.
PHILLIP
They can find out anything about
anyone... anything.
(then)
They could even find out something about
you...
Steven grows suspicious.
STEVEN
Phillip... what is it?
PHILLIP
It's just-- Is something going on?
Something you're not telling me?
STEVEN
No.
PHILLIP
Because if there is, stop now.
STEVEN
There isn't. There's nothing.
PHILLIP
I don't care about the money, the house,
jet-skis- all I want is you. I just want
us to be together.
STEVEN
We're always going to be together. And
there is nothing going on. I promise.
(then)
I wouldn't lie to you, baby.
Steven stares back and convinces Phillip with a look.
They kiss.
121 INT. USAMM PARKING GARAGE - 1996 - DAY 121
Birkheim emerges from his parked MERCEDES C-CLASS. After
locking it he notices a little smudge and buffs it out
with his handkerchief.
As he admires his car proudly, the building volume of the
MIAMI SOUND MACHINE gets his attention.
He sees as Steven arrives in his NEW and MUCH MORE
IMPRESSIVE SL500 and parks a few spots down.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 75.
He watches as Steven tries on several watches and tosses
them back in the glove compartment before settling on one
and exiting the car.
Birkheim raises a brow.
122 INT. USAMM ELEVATOR - 1996 - A SHORT TIME LATER 122
Birkheim and Steven share the elevator.
BIRKHEIM
Nice car.
STEVEN
Thanks, Larry.
BIRKHEIM
Which one is it?
STEVEN
SL. That the C you're driving?
BIRKHEIM
Yeah.
STEVEN
Good car.
BIRKHEIM
Mmm hm.
STEVEN
Good value.
DING! The door opens. Steven exits, leaving a disgruntled
Birkheim in his wake.
123 INT. BIRKHEIM'S OFFICE - 1996 - DAY 123
Birkheim pores over spreadsheets, taking notes and
comparing numbers. CLOSE UPS on headings like "INTEREST
EARNED" and "DEPOSIT" indicate he's looking for something
He continues to make notes, growing ever more suspicious
until something catches his eye.
In the margin of one of the pages is a DOODLING of a
SMILEY-FACED PENIS.
Birkheim doesn't quite know what to make of this... but
it seems to stare at him mockingly.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 76.
124 INT. USAMM HALLWAY - 1996 - DAY 124
Steven whistles happily and takes a draw off his coffee
mug. As he passes an office, something catches his ear.
BIRKHEIM (O.S.)
I have some questions about these new
accounts we've opened.
Steven slows to a stop.
125 INT. BIRKHEIM'S OFFICE - 1996 - CONTINUOUS 125
Birkheim, his back to the door, is on the phone as Steven
eavesdrops outside.
BIRKHEIM
Yeah... I was wondering if we could
compare some numbers. I know you usually
talk to our CFO but this is a delicate
matter and I'd like keep it secret for
now.
Steven is worried.
126 INT. USAMM CUBICLE - 1996 - DAY 126
OPEN CLOSE on blank copies spitting out of a copier.
Steven stands over the machine, his finger on the button
as he keeps surveillance on Birkheim's office door.
A SECRETARY arrives with a stack of papers.
SECRETARY
Hi Mister Ru--
STEVEN
I'M MAKING COPIES!!!
She leaves, terrified.
Finally, Steven spots Birkheim leaving his office.
127 INT. BIRKHEIM'S OFFICE - 1996 - DAY 127
Steven runs into Birkheim's office and scans the papers
on his desk. Nothing.
He turns his attention to Birkheim's briefcase, but he
can't get it open.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 77.
Eventually he spots a blank legal pad and looks at it
closely. He grabs a pencil and does the old detective
trick of shading in the page to reveal what was written
on the now missing page above.
The embossed text reads, "837,502.12"
He stares at it a moment. This number looks familiar.
He grabs the phone and dials. An AUTOMATED VOICE answers.
AUTOMATED TELLER
Hello, you've reached the Automatic
Teller at Texas Commerce Bank. Please
enter your personal account number
followed by the pound sign.
Steven quickly enters some numbers. As he listens he
flips through Birkheim's desktop calendar.
AUTOMATED TELLER (CONT'D)
Thank you. Your account balance is eight
hundred-thirty seven thousand five
hundred and two dollars and twelve cents.
To repeat this-
It's the SAME NUMBER as on the pad. He hangs up. And
turns his attention to the calendar. He spies an entry
that reads, "Harris County Police, 12:30"
He leaps out of the chair and exits the office.
128 INT. USAMM COPIER ROOM - 1996 - DAY 128
Steven furiously shreds documents in the company's PAPER
SHREDDER. Moments later the same SECRETARY enters the
room with an armload of work- enraging Steven.
STEVEN
CAN'T YOU SEE I'M SHREDDING!?
Terrified, the woman runs away.
129 EXT. BANK - DAY 129
OPEN CLOSE on an ATM keypad as Steven punches some keys
and retrieves a handful of cash. He stuffs it into his
breast pocket and hops back into his SL.
130 INT. DEBBIE'S HOME - NIGHT 130
The phone RINGS. Debbie answers.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 78.
DEBBIE
Hello?
131 INT. MERCEDES SL (DRIVING) - GULF FREEWAY, 1996 - DAY 131
INTERCUT. Steven is on the phone while driving with the
top down.
STEVEN
Hey Debbie.
DEBBIE
Steven. How are you?
STEVEN
Good. How's Steffie doing?
DEBBIE
Good. Real good. She sure is your
daughter...
STEVEN
She's interested in boys already?
DEBBIE
Ha-ha. How's Phillip?
STEVEN
He's good. He says hi, but listen- I
just wanted to call and let you know I'm
switching all my phone numbers. I'll let
you know when we get a new one.
DEBBIE
Oh Steven, are you on the lam again?
STEVEN
Deb, you always knew me best.
DEBBIE
Steven you really should stop all this,
you are such a good man and I know that
Jesus has a plan for you.
STEVEN
Well, maybe this is his plan.
DEBBIE
Now don't start.
A CALL-WAITING TONE is heard.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 79.
STEVEN
Anyway Debbie- that's my boss calling. I
love you both and I'll call you soon.
Steven clicks over to the other line.
STEVEN (CONT'D)
Hello?
132 INT. LINDHOLM'S OFFICE - 1996 - DAY 132
INTERCUT with Lindholm on the phone, with Birkheim in the
background, spreadsheets in hand.
LINDHOLM
Steven? Where are you?
STEVEN
The Gulf Freeway. Where are you?
LINDHOLM
At the office. You coming back anytime
soon?
STEVEN
Is something wrong?
LINDHOLM
No, we just want to see you Steven. We
miss you is what it is.
STEVEN
Oh, that's nice Dan. But I don't think
I'm coming back in. I think we both know
why.
LINDHOLM
You sure about that Steven?
STEVEN
Bye-bye Dan.
Steven hangs up.
133 INT. NEW HOUSE - 1996 - DAY 133
Steven storms into the house, panting. A worried Phillip
comes to greet him.
PHILLIP
People keep calling, what's going on?
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 80.
Steven starts pulling wads of money out of every
available pocket and piling it on the kitchen table.
STEVEN
Nothing. Thought we'd take a little
vacation. Key West. Let's pack. Quick!
Okay I'll pack for you!
Phillip follows him through the house.
PHILLIP
I fucking knew it- you did do something.
You lied to me! You looked me right in
the eye and lied!
STEVEN
Now don't get angry, it's gonna be fun, I
swear.
PHILLIP
Are you going back to jail? Steven, you
promised we'd always be together!
STEVEN
Of course we are! We're never gonna be
apart. Never.
Steven ducks into the bedroom. Phillip doesn't follow.
PHILLIP
You lying son of a bitch! You took
advantage of me! Just like all the rest!
SON OF A BITCH!
134 INT. NEW HOUSE BEDROOM - 1996 - CONTINUOUS 134
Steven furiously packs a suitcase, yelling out to Phillip
in the hallway.
STEVEN
We'll get a place. Do some fishing. I can
work on my key lime pie recipe...
Steven picks up the suitcase without zipping it up and
heads back into the hall.
STEVEN (CONT'D)
...I might even grow a beard and enter
the Papa Hemingway contest!
He stops short in the hallway. Phillip is gone.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 81.
STEVEN (CONT'D)
Phillip? Honey?
135 EXT. NEW HOUSE - 1996 - DAY 135
Steven bursts from the house still clutching the suitcase
just in time to see Phillip's car rounding the corner.
STEVEN
COME BACK! WAIT!
136 INT. NEW HOUSE - 1996 - DAY 136
He re-enters, emptying the suitcase along the way. He
then proceeds to fill it with the cash on the table.
137 EXT. NEW HOUSE - 1996 - DAY 137
Steven exits and heads for his car, but before he can get
in-
WHAM! He's grabbed by a group of POLICEMEN. He SQUEALS
like a rabbit's death bleat and flails wildly.
This continues for a while until--
SMASH CUT TO:
138 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN HOSPITAL WARD - 1998 - DAY 138
Steven resumes his VOICE OVER in the penitentiary
infirmary.
STEVEN (V.O.)
There I was, keeping secrets, living a
lie. Like I said, I tend to do that. Now
I didn't blame Phillip for running out on
me, but I had to make things right. I had
to get him back. You see, there's
something I didn't tell you...
(beat)
...it's about my old boyfriend. Do you
remember him? His name was Jimmy.
CUT TO:
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 82.
139 INT. PALM BEACH APARTMENT - 1991 - MORNING 139
The Florida sun bathes the bedroom in a heavenly glow,
illuminating Jimmy Kemple as he wakes. He opens his eyes
to see Steven staring longingly at him.
KEMPLE
What?
Steven just smiles.
KEMPLE (CONT'D)
What?
STEVEN
I love you Jimmy.
Kemple smirks.
KEMPLE
It's only been a month, Steven.
STEVEN
I know.
KEMPLE
Don't fall for me Steven.
STEVEN
Why the hell not?
KEMPLE
You know damn well why.
Steven thinks a moment, but never stops smiling.
STEVEN
I don't give a shit about that.
They kiss.
140 EXT. PALM BEACH HOSPITAL PARKING STRUCTURE - 1992 - DAY 140
FLASHBACK. We're back at the scene where Steven tries to
jump in the dumpster. He leaps over the guard rail and--
KEMPLE
STEVEN!
WHAM!!! Steven hits the ground next to the dumpster.
CUT TO:
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 83.
141 EXT. PALM BEACH HOSPITAL PARKING STRUCTURE - 1992 - DAY 141
A short time later, Steven lies MOANING and delirious.
Kemple cradles his head as Debbie and the cop watch
nearby.
KEMPLE
You need to do the time. I'll wait for
you. I will. I'll wait for you. I
promise. I love you. I'll wait for you.
142 INT. MIAMI JAIL - CELL BLOCK - 1993 - DAY 142
Steven pushes a cart of food through the block delivering
sandwiches to fellow detainees.
143 INT. MIAMI JAIL - PHONE BANK - 1993 - DAY 143
OPEN CLOSE on fingers dialing a pay phone. Cut wide to
reveal it's Steven making a call.
STEVEN
Hi baby. What do you mean? It's noon. I
always call at noon.
(listens)
Well it's prison honey, it sucks. But I'm
getting used to it. What's wrong?
144 INT. KEMPLE'S MOTHER'S APT, 1993 - DAY - INTERCUT 144
Kemple, on the phone at his mother's home, is INTERCUT.
He looks ill.
KEMPLE
I'm sick.
STEVEN
I know.
KEMPLE
No really sick. You haven't seen me in a
year. You don't know. I just came back
from the doctor. My T-cells are...
He begins to cry.
KEMPLE (CONT'D)
Why did you have to go to jail? How could
you do this to me?
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 84.
STEVEN
I know, I'm sorry...
KEMPLE
I don't want to die alone.
STEVEN
You're not gonna die alone.
KEMPLE
Yes I am. Who knows how long I have.
STEVEN
You're not gonna die alone, okay? Just
believe me.
KEMPLE
You don't know that.
STEVEN
Yes I do. I promise.
He hangs up, tortured by this news. His eyes catch a
glimpse of a DETECTIVE exiting the cell block, banging on
the GUARD BOOTH glass with his walkie-talkie.
He just stares at the door, long and hard.
145 INT. MIAMI JAIL CORRIDOR - 1994 - DAY 145
Steven approaches a section of bars where a BLONDE INMATE
is waiting.
STEVEN
Did you get `em?
BLONDE INMATE
Yeah.
The inmate looks around then shoves a BALL OF CLOTHES
through the bars. Steven gives a look. Something upsets
him.
STEVEN
What the hell's this?
BLONDE INMATE
It's all I could get.
STEVEN
Jesus!
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 85.
146 INT. MIAMI JAIL GUARD BOOTH - 1994 - DAY 146
Dressed in prison orange, Steven walks up to a counter, a
sandwiches in hand. He holds it up before a HUGE GUARD.
STEVEN
Lunch is served.
As the Guard goes through the bag, Steven reaches over
the counter and swipes a WALKIE TALKIE- revealing a
CALENDAR that reads FRIDAY the 13th. He beats a nervous
exit.
147 INT. MIAMI JAIL HALLWAY - 1994 - DAY 147
OPEN CLOSE on a MAN'S ASS IN RUBY RED, SKIN TIGHT
HOTPANTS.
CUT TO REVEAL Steven walking nervously down the hall clad
in said hotpants as well as a tight spaghetti strap top.
Walkie Talkie in hand, he tries to give as authoritative
an aura as he can.
He gets to a glass security door, where two JAIL GUARDS
stand. Steven taps on the glass confidently with the
WALKIE TALKIE and signals them to open the door.
They do. And as he passes the two guards one of them
speaks.
JAIL GUARD
(shaking head)
Undercover vice...
Steven approaches another set of doors and signals. The
doors open.
148 INT. MIAMI JAIL EXIT - 1994 - DAY 148
Steven passes through the doors and comes to an exit. He
pushes on it to find it LOCKED. Panic sets in as he
pushes repeatedly to no avail. And just when he thinks
all is lost--
He looks down to realizes he's neglected to notice the
PUSH BAR to open the door. And with a gentle PUSH, the
door OPENS ...and he's gone.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 86.
149 INT. KEMPLE'S MOTHER'S APARTMENT - 1994 - BEDROOM - DAY 149
HELEN KEMPLE brings a tray of toast and water into the
bedroom where Steven sits over Kemple's rapidly
deteriorating body.
KEMPLE
Thanks Mom.
She kisses both Jimmy and Steven.
HELEN
I'll be in the other room.
She exits. Steven tries to give Kemple some water. Kemple
resists.
STEVEN
Come on. You need to drink something.
Kemple meekly hands Steven his stainless steel ROLEX.
KEMPLE
I want you to have this because I'm gonna
be leaving soon...
STEVEN
Well that's not okay with me baby. You
can't leave. I need you around here.
You're the love of my life.
KEMPLE
You're sweet... but no, I'm not.
STEVEN
Shhhh...
KEMPLE
I'm not. I've seen him. You haven't met
him yet, but you will...
Steven is perplexed.
KEMPLE (CONT'D)
You're gonna be so happy. And I know you
don't think so, but you deserve to be
happy...
STEVEN
You're not thinking clearly baby.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 87.
KEMPLE
Yes I am... And you have to promise
me... When you find him, you're gonna
treat him right... okay?
Steven gives in gently.
STEVEN
Okay, okay. Now drink some water.
KEMPLE
Treat him right.
150 INT. KEMPLE'S MOTHER'S APARTMENT - 1994 - CONTINUOUS 150
Helen is on the couch, watching the TV news as OJ Simpson
is apprehended. It isn't long before a KNOCK on the door
gets her attention. She gets up.
HELEN
Who is it?
She reaches for the door and-- SMASH!! The door bursts
open.
SMASH CUT TO:
151 EXT. KEMPLE'S MOTHER'S APARTMENT BUILDING 1994 - DAY 151
Steven is dragged kicking and SCREAMING to a squad car by
a group of POLICEMEN.
STEVEN
NO! JUST GIVE ME SOME TIME! I PROMISED!
I PROMISED I'D BE THERE! I PROMISED HE
WOULDN'T DIE ALONE!
And as he futilely fights--
152 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, STEVEN'S CELL - 1994 - DAY 152
A CLAXON BLARES and the cell door slides OPEN with
metallic ROAR, revealing a very impatient Steven with a
few days stubble on his face.
STEVEN
It's about damn time!
He rushes out.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 88.
153 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN - PHONE BANK - 1994 - DAY 153
Steven hurries to the phone and dials. He nervously
awaits an answer. Then-
STEVEN
Hi Helen it's me. Is--
He's interrupted and proceeds to listen. The look on his
face says it all.
STEVEN (CONT'D)
Okay... mmm hmm...
Through the glass wall outside the phone room, we watch
as Steven continues to absorb the bad news.
He hangs up the phone and falls to pieces as the
CACOPHONY of the prison masks any sound of his grief.
BACK TO:
154 I/E NEW HOUSE, 1996 - HOUSTON POLICE CRUISER - DAY 154
OPEN CLOSE ON the stainless steel ROLEX. WE'RE BACK
outside Steven and Phillip's house in a POLICE CRUISER.
Steven stares at it, reflecting on his memory of Kemple.
STEVEN (V.O.)
I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. I
just don't like talking about some
things.
The door opens and a HOUSTON COP hands him a black
LEATHERETTE CASE.
HOUSTON COP
This what you wanted?
STEVEN
Oh thanks.
HOUSTON COP
Diabetes huh?
STEVEN
Yeah...
The cop gets in and they drive off.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 89.
155 INT. HOUSTON POLICE CRUISER - 1996 - A SHORT TIME LATER 155
The HOUSTON COP and a DRIVING COP ride up front, not
paying much attention to their passenger.
In the REAR, Steven nervously and quietly prepares an
INSULIN SYRINGE and inexpertly INJECTS IT in his belly.
STEVEN (V.O.)
I wasn't going to lose Phillip. No way.
I broke Jimmy's heart and I was not gonna
break Phillip's. I was gonna make
everything alright. No matter what it
took, I was going to escape.
He gives a quick look around and prepares another
syringe. After another injection, he prepares another.
And then ANOTHER and ANOTHER...
156 INT. HOUSTON POLICE CRUISER - 1996 - A SHORT TIME LATER 156
The DRIVING COP watches the road blankly until his nose
catches a putrid scent in the air.
DRIVING COP
Fuck... what is that?
The other cop smells it too. They begin to look around.
The Driving Cop glances back to see Steven CONVULSING AND
FROTHING AT THE MOUTH like a rabid bobble head doll.
DRIVING COP (CONT'D)
Fuck!
They turn around.
HOUSTON COP
Ahh! He shit himself! Get us to the
hospital!
The SIREN WAILS.
157 INT. HOUSTON HOSPITAL ROOM - 1996 - DAY 157
Steven wakes up in a hospital bed. A little bleary at
first, his eyes scan the room. He's alone.
He sits up, pleased and very excited. He pulls out his
IV, hops out of bed and heads for the window when-
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 90.
CLANG! He stops short to find his ankle is shackled to
the bed.
STEVEN
Shit!
The door opens and the Houston Cop peers his head in. He
looks back to his unseen partner.
HOUSTON COP
He's up.
158 INT. HARRIS COUNTY JAIL, HOUSTON - 1996 - DAY 158
Three manacled PRISONERS, one of them Steven, follow a
CORRECTIONS OFFICER into the Processing Area at the
Harris County Jail.
Each of the men are still in their street clothes and
manacled separately.
CORRECTIONS OFFICER
Take a seat.
They take a seat on a bench outside a large steel door as
the officer talks to a PROCESSING CLERK. Steven is
visibly agitated and ignores the other men on the bench
with him.
The FIRST PRISONER turns to the SECOND PRISONER.
FIRST PRISONER
What'd they get you for?
SECOND PRISONER
Grand Theft. You?
FIRST PRISONER
B and E.
The Second Prisoner turns to Steven...
SECOND PRISONER
How about you?
...but STEVEN IS GONE. The man looks around.
Across the room, Steven stands in an elevator amidst a
group of lackadaisical JANITORS, clutching a mop. The
prisoner watches in awe as the doors CLOSE.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 91.
159 INT. HARRIS COUNTY JAIL, HOUSTON - 1996 - LATER 159
The elevator doors OPEN to reveal Steven, not with the
janitors, but with a GROUP OF OFFICERS-- re-emerging from
the elevator and back into the processing area.
The LEAD OFFICER talks to the clerk.
LEAD OFFICER
This slippery son of a bitch is going
straight to lockup.
Steven heaves a sigh.
160 INT. HARRIS COUNTY JAIL PHONE BANKS, 1996 - DAY 160
Steven, in a fresh prison jumpsuit, paces while talking
on the phone.
STEVEN
C'mon Phillip, pick up, it's me. I'm
sorry. C'mon.
(then)
Dammit!
He hangs up. A nearby inmate chimes in.
NEW CELLMATE
How long you in for?
STEVEN
Not long.
(picks up phone)
Can you hit me in the face with this?
And off the inmate's quizzened expression--
161 INT. HARRIS COUNTY JAIL - 1996 - INFIRMARY - DAY 161
OPEN CLOSE on Steven's BLOODY FACE. A PRISON PHYSICIAN
is examining it closely. We notice Steven is wearing
WHITE SCRUBS (as opposed to the doctor who wears GREEN
SCRUBS).
PHYSICIAN
That's a pretty big gash. Just stay
still...
STEVEN
It sure hurts...
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 92.
As Steven talks and the doctor looks, Steven stealthily
plucks the doctor's ID BADGE and slips it in his pocket.
162 INT. HARRIS COUNTY JAIL CELL - 1996 - DAY 162
Steven finishes filling the sink in his cell and pulls
out a GREEN MAGIC MARKER. He breaks it open and drips the
ink into the water.
And as the water turns GREEN, Steven removes his white
scrubs and plunges them in the sink.
163 INT. HARRIS COUNTY JAIL GUARD STATION - 1996 - NIGHT 163
The NIGHT GUARD watches his monitors when a rap on the
glass gets his attention. He looks up to see Steven in
newly (and badly) dyed GREEN SCRUBS, awaiting exit on the
other side, holding the stolen ID BADGE against the
glass.
NIGHT GUARD
`night Doc.
He pushes the buzzer and Steven pushes open the door.
164 EXT. TEXAS MOTEL - 1996 - DAY 164
Seven State and Local police cruisers sit in the parking
lot, a shirtless Steven is removed from his motel room by
a pair of OFFICERS. His skin is stained green but his
expression is pure resolve.
165 INT. HOUSTON COURTROOM - 1996 - DAY 165
OPEN CLOSE on a GAVEL striking. Steven stands before the
judge flanked by his attorney and a bailiff.
HOUSTON JUDGE
Set bail at 900,000 dollars.
ATTORNEY
Your honor...
STEVEN
Nine hundred thousand!? It's a white
collar charge.
ATTORNEY
Your honor-
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 93.
The judge begins FILLING OUT A FORM. He barely looks up
at them.
HOUSTON JUDGE
Mister Russell is a flight risk. The
bond is set. Nine hundred thousand.
STEVEN
This is bullshit.
(sotto to attorney)
Set a reduction hearing.
ATTORNEY
(off this)
Your honor we'd like to set a reduction
hearing.
HOUSTON JUDGE
That's your right, but I strongly advise
you don't.
The judge finishes filling out the form and PLACES IT AT
THE EDGE OF HIS BENCH for Steven to see.
It clearly reads his bail amount, his charge, everything.
As the Attorney PRATTLES ON in the background, Steven
just STARES AT THE FORM LONG AND HARD.
HOUSTON JUDGE (CONT'D)
Fine. You can have your hearing tomorrow.
Steven interjects.
STEVEN
(sotto to Lawyer)
Next week.
The attorney looks at him quizzically and turns back to
the judge.
ATTORNEY
We'd like next week if that's okay.
STEVEN
(sotto)
On the thirteenth.
ATTORNEY
Oh the thirteenth if possible.
HOUSTON JUDGE
Fine. Friday the thirteenth. Now go away.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 94.
166 INT. HARRIS COUNTY JAIL CELLS - 1996 - NIGHT 166
A block of holding cells well stocked with men waiting on
the legal system.
We soon come upon Steven who is furiously SKETCHING OUT A
COPY of the form from the judge's bench from memory.
167 INT. HOUSTON APT BEDROOM (TYLER) - 1996 - DAY 167
OPEN CLOSE on an opened envelope next to Steven's sketch
and a letter.
STEVEN (V.O.)
Dearest Tyler. Long time no talk. I won't
beat around the bush. I got into a spot
of trouble here in Houston and find
myself needing help. That's right, jail
again. Anyway I was wondering if you
could type up this thing for me on your
computer just like I sketched out...
As Steven `reads' the letter we reveal a MAN hacking away
on a computer nearby. As we move closer, we see that
he's the MOUSTACHED MAN from the night of his car crash
and he's not wearing pants.
168 INT. HARRIS COUNTY JAIL CELL - 1996 - DAY 168
Steven opens a letter and pulls out the FORGED FORM.
STEVEN
Great!
He grabs a pen and begins filling it out.
169 INT. HOUSTON COURTHOUSE CORRIDOR - 1996 - DAY 169
Manacled to a line of prisoners, Steven shuffles through
a crowded hallway. Courthouse staff are everywhere.
Steven spots a HARRIED woman approaching with an armful
of paperwork.
He reaches into his jumpsuit and pulls out the FORGED
DOCUMENT and as she passes- HE DROPS IT.
STEVEN
Ma'am?!
The woman turns back, annoyed.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 95.
STEVEN (CONT'D)
Dropped something.
She picks it up and puts it on her pile. He smiles as he
watches her walk away.
170 INT. HARRIS COUNTY JAIL PHONE BANK, 1996- DAY 170
Steven dials the phone.
171 INT. HOUSTON COURTHOUSE - CLERKS OFFICE, 1996 - DAY 171
INTERCUT, a CLERK answers her RINGING PHONE. Her desk
CALENDAR reads: "September, Friday the 13th"
CLERK
This is Julie.
Steven puts on his best SOUTHERN BELLE VOICE.
STEVEN
(as woman)
Hi, I have Judge Charles Hearn for the
clerk's office.
CLERK
Alright.
STEVEN
I'll put him through.
Steven switches to an authoritative JUDGE VOICE.
STEVEN (CONT'D)
(gruff)
This the clerk's office?
CLERK
It is.
STEVEN
Charles Hearn- I got a bail adjustment
coming through, sent it over today.
CLERK
Sure thing. What's the name?
STEVEN
Russell. Steven Jay.
CLERK
Got it right here.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 96.
STEVEN
Good, I need that to go through right
away. Because if it don't, I'm gonna have
to chug about a quart of Tidee Bowl on
account of all the shit I'll be eating.
Know what I mean?
Julie GIGGLES.
CLERK
You got it Judge.
STEVEN
And say- Julie? Can you save me a dime
and connect me to a good bail bondsman?
JULIE
Sure thing.
172 EXT. GALVESTON HOUSE - 1996 - DAY 172
A LIMOUSINE pulls up outside a modest Galveston house.
The CHAUFFEUR opens the door and Steven emerges dressed
in new linen suit and clutching champagne and flowers.
He approaches the door and just as he's about to knock--
PHILLIP (O.S.)
Go away Steven!
Steven is surprised.
PHILLIP (O.S.) (CONT'D)
You think I didn't know you were coming!?
STEVEN
Phillip-
PHILLIP (O.S.)
Get the hell out of here! I'm done with
you!
STEVEN
Don't say that.
PHILLIP (O.S.)
They probably have a psychic after you
right now! Did you see any bunnies!?
STEVEN
Honey, I know you're upset- but we love
each other.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 97.
PHILLIP (O.S.)
You opened a bank account for Doctor
Phillip Morris! Now they think I'm in on
everything! I'm facing real time! You
know I can't go back to prison.
STEVEN
I'm sorry about that- they weren't
supposed to find that. It was for your
own good. So we could be together.
PHILLIP (O.S.)
Fuck off! I'm in enough trouble.
STEVEN
C'mon Phillip, just trust me-
PHILLIP (O.S.)
FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING LIAR! Do you realize
how bad you've fucked me over!! You made
me an accomplice! You fucking liar! I
don't want to see you. Go away! I never
want to see you again!
STEVEN
Phillip don't say that.
No response.
STEVEN (CONT'D)
Well what am I supposed to do?
PHILLIP (O.S.)
You're the lawyer, you figure it out.
This time, it's Steven who remains silent.
PHILLIP (O.S.) (CONT'D)
Oh my God...
THE DOOR SWINGS OPEN, revealing a SEETHING PHILLIP.
PHILLIP (CONT'D)
You're not even a lawyer?! You fucking
liar!
STEVEN
Well...
He slams the door shut again.
PHILLIP (O.S.)
What the hell's going on?! Who the hell
are you!?
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 98.
STEVEN
Open the door Phillip.
PHILLIP (O.S.)
No.
Steven walks up to the door and pleads gently.
STEVEN
(quietly)
Open the door. Just open the door.
(beat)
Open the door. Please. I just want to
say one thing. Please. Just one thing.
That's all. Please.
A long silence. Steven waits longer than he should with
the certainty that it will open. And eventually it
does... slowly and tentatively.
Through the screen door, their eyes are just inches
apart. Steven looks into Phillip's soul. He opens his
mouth and--
SWAT COMMANDER (O.S.)
Down on the ground faggots!!
Steven and Phillip are shocked to see a small SWAT team
surrounding the front porch with automatic weapons.
SWAT COMMANDER (CONT'D)
DOWN! DOWN! NOW!
And as they comply and the armed men descend--
173 INT. GALVESTON POLICE STATION - 1996 - DAY 173
Steven and Phillip sit manacled, side by side. They stare
at the floor in miserable uncomfortable silence.
STEVEN
Phillip?
PHILLIP
Don't.
STEVEN
I love you.
No response. Phillip can only sit and stew. And stew.
Until finally, he's had enough.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 99.
PHILLIP
From the moment we met, you've done
nothing but lie. Our whole
relationship... just lies. I'm such an
asshole. You took advantage of me- just
like all the rest of them. You were
supposed to protect me- but you've done
nothing but make a fool of me. And you
expect me to love you? How can I love
you? I don't even know who you are. And
you know what's sad? I don't even think
you know who you are. So how am I
supposed to love something that don't
even exist? You tell me.
Eventually a POLICEMAN stands before Phillip.
POLICEMAN (O.S.)
Morris. You're up.
Before he stands up, Phillip manages a terse statement.
PHILLIP
I will never forgive you Steven. Never.
Steven is speechless as he watches Phillip walk away-
disappearing down a long corridor.
SLOW DISSOLVE TO WHITE:
STEVEN (V.O.)
That was the last time I ever saw him.
174 INT. TX STATE PEN, 1997 - CELL BLOCK - DAY 174
PHILLIP carries his belongings past a line of hulking,
cat-calling convicts.
STEVEN (V.O.)
...But I knew he was right. Phillip,
Jimmy, Debbie- they've all been right.
My whole life was nothing but a bunch of
lies. Lies to make people love me, lies
to keep them from leaving me and lies to
make them give me their money.
He enters his cell.
175 INT. TX STATE PEN, 1997 - MICHAEL UNIT BLOCK- DAY 175
Steven carries his belongings to his new cell in Michael
Unit.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 100.
STEVEN (V.O.)
And in the process I lost track of who I
was. Maybe Barbra Bascombe had me pegged
right from the beginning and that's why
she gave me up...
175A INT. TX STATE PEN - MICHAEL UNIT CELL, 1997 - DAY 175A
Steven stares at his distorted face in the polished metal
MIRROR in his cell.
STEVEN (V.O.)
Whatever the case, how does a person who
doesn't exist go on existing? Well the
answer is- he doesn't.
176 OMITTED 176
177 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1997 - MICHAEL UNIT CELL - NIGHT 177
Steven is curled up in a ball in his cell, SOBBING as he
stares at a SNAPSHOT of Phillip in Key West pasted to the
wall.
BUNKMATE (O.S.)
Shut the fuck up, I'm trying to sleep.
178 INT. TEXAS STATE PENITENTIARY CAFETERIA, 1997 - DAY 178
Steven sits over an untouched tray of food, staring at it
detached. He looks thin. Pale.
179 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1997 - MICHAEL UNIT CELL - NIGHT 179
Steven kneels over the toilet in his cell. The sound of
PUKING reverberates.
180 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1998 - MICHAEL UNIT CELL - MORNING 180
Months later, Steven sits up in his bed. He now has a
grey beard and with his shirt off we can see he has lost
an unhealthy amount of weight.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 101.
181 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1998 INFIRMARY - DAY 181
OPEN CLOSE on the gaunt and grey-skinned Steven. A MALE
NURSE places a thermometer in his mouth and looks at
Steven's medical history. He looks concerned.
MALE NURSE
I'll be right back.
182 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1998 - INFIRMARY OFFICE - DAY 182
Steven sits before a YOUNG PRISON DOCTOR who looks
through his records.
YOUNG DOCTOR
I'm sorry to have to tell you this
Steven, your t-cell counts indicate that,
uh... Well... you have AIDS.
Steven sits expressionless.
STEVEN
How long do I have?
And off the Doctor's grave face--
DISSOLVE TO:
183 EXT. SKY - 1966 - DAY 183
CLOUDS drift slowly across the sky.
The OPENING SCENE again- the four kids lying on the hill,
staring at the clouds. Young Steven smiles at the sight.
A dull WHINE is heard, building until--
SMASH CUT TO:
184 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN HOSPITAL WARD - 1998 - DAY 184
The first hospital scene in the movie. The cardio ALARM
blares. Steven watches from his bed as a DOCTOR appears
and pushes the nurses aside.
DOCTOR
Where's the crash cart!?
He straddles the patient's chest and pushes down hard-
the sound of a sternum CRACKING can be heard.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 102.
STEVEN (V.O.)
So here we are, where you first met me...
CUT TO:
185 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN HOSPITAL WARD - 1998 - LATER 185
A sheet is pulled over the cardio victim's corpse and
Steven watches as it is wheeled out of the ward.
He returns his bleary gaze to the ceiling.
STEVEN (V.O.)
I've been in this bed for months now.
Waiting to die. The only thing that keeps
me going is the thought that I might get
a chance to see Phillip one more time.
(beat)
But I don't know how much longer I can do
this...
Steven's eyes roll back into his head as he slips into
unconsciousness.
186 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1998 - CELL - DAY 186
A slightly built, effeminate inmate (SAMUEL) raps on
Phillip's open cell door as he enters.
SAMUEL
Got a minute?
PHILLIP
Samuel. You want some crackers?
SAMUEL
No... thanks. Look- I just talked to my
friend- he's a nurse at the infirmary. I
don't know if you know this or not but
uh...
Phillip looks to him with curiosity.
SMASH CUT TO:
187 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1998 - INFIRMARY ENTRANCE - DAY 187
Phillip flails as GUARDS hold him back from a DOCTOR.
PHILLIP
LET ME IN! Just let me in!
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 103.
DOCTOR
He's not here!
PHILLIP
I need to see him!
DOCTOR
I told you he's not here! You need to
calm down.
Phillip calms himself.
PHILLIP
Just tell me where he is. What happened?
DOCTOR
He slipped into a coma for a few days.
He's conscious now, but he's very sick.
We had him transferred to a private care
facility. There was nothing we could do
for him here. It's just a matter of time
now.
Phillip listens in devastated silence.
188 EXT. RESTFUL ACRES CARE CENTER - 1998 - DAY 188
Steven looks worse than ever in his semi-private bed,
looking out the window at the clouds with a catatonic
gaze.
He's at peace. It is the moment of his death.
CARETAKER (O.S.)
Steven?
Death will have to wait another few moments. A nurse
leans over him as he tries to focus.
CARETAKER (CONT'D)
Steven? Someone wants to talk to you.
He keeps calling. He's driving us crazy.
Steven can't respond. The nurse picks up the phone.
CARETAKER (CONT'D)
(into phone)
Okay you can put him through.
She puts the phone to Steven's ear. He can muster only a
few words.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 104.
STEVEN
(wisp)
I didn't want you to find out...
189 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN INFIRMARY OFFICE - 1998- DAY 189
Phillip is INTERCUT with the helpless Steven.
PHILLIP
Steven. Oh God... Why didn't you write
me? I don't know how this happened, they
say I'm fine. Oh God, who did this?
(then)
It doesn't matter. I had to talk to you
Steven.
(tearing up)
I am still angry with you, but I need you
to know something. Even if sometimes I
don't know who you are, I love you. I
never stopped loving you.
(smiles)
You and me are just fools for love I
guess- written in the stars or some crap
like that.
(tears)
But it was never better, never more real
than with you Steven. I realize now that
all that crazy shit you did- in your
fucked up way- it was always for me.
Always for us. You are the most amazing
man Steven. It takes my breath away. And
even though I can't be with you now, I
will always be yours... Forever.
He steels himself as best he can.
PHILLIP (CONT'D)
Now if you have to go, go. It's okay.
I'm right there. Okay? I'm right there.
Tears surface again. He chokes back a sob.
190 INT. RESTFUL ACRES CARE CENTER - 1998 - CONTINUOUS 190
As a single tear runs down Steven's face, the nurse puts
the phone on the hook and leaves.
Steven lies motionless. He gazes out the window to the
passing clouds in the sky. It's time.
DISSOLVE TO:
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 105.
191 INT. TX STATE PEN, 1998 - CELLBLOCK - DAY 191
Samuel walks past cell after cell with a grave look in
his eyes. Eventually he arrives at Phillip's cell to
find him sitting on his bunk.
SAMUEL
Phillip...?
Phillip looks up.
SAMUEL (CONT'D)
Uh- my friend in the infirmary... Uh,
they got a call from that long term care
place and uh, well a few days ago Steven-
(then)
...I'm so sorry Phillip.
Phillip nods as it washes over him. He sends Samuel on
his way with a look. Once he's alone, Phillip lets go
and SOBS.
He buries his face in his pillow. After a long while-
CLANG. A sound gets his attention. A BOSSY GUARD stands
at the door of his cell.
BOSSY GUARD
Morris. Come with me.
Phillip composes himself and follows the guard out.
192 INT. TEXAS STATE PENITENTIARY CORRIDOR - 1998 - DAY 192
The guard leads Phillip down the corridor. Still coming
out of his mournful haze, he becomes curious. They arrive
at a door marked, "MEETING ROOM 2".
PHILLIP
Where are we going?
BOSSY GUARD
Your lawyer's here.
He swings open the door to reveal STEVEN, alive and well
and wearing a thrift store suit.
Phillip is aghast, frozen.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 106.
STEVEN (V.O.)
Did I forget to mention I didn't die? Yeah,
I didn't die. Faked the whole thing.
SMASH CUT TO:
193 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1997 - MICHAEL UNIT CELL - NIGHT 193
FLASHBACK. Steven is curled up in a ball, sobbing as he
stares at a picture of Phillip pasted to the wall.
BUNKMATE (O.S.)
Shut the fuck up, I'm trying to sleep.
STEVEN
Fuck you. I got a broken heart here.
We see now his Bunkmate is Cleavon.
CLEAVON
Well then do something about it mother
fucker- `stead of crying like Whitney
Houston looking for her crack pipe.
Steven takes his kind words to heart.
STEVEN
Yeah I know...
CLEAVON
Damn right. Love creates miracles
motherfucker. Ain't you ever read the
Bible? So get off your ass and go forth
unto the Canaanites you faggot bitch.
Steven returns his gaze to Phillip's photo.
STEVEN
When you're right you're right Cleavon...
Long pause.
CLEAVON
Wanna suck me off?
STEVEN
No thanks.
CLEAVON
Well sweet dreams then.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 107.
STEVEN (V.O.)
Lying there in all my misery, I had a
moment of clarity. It became clear to me-
I had to get to Phillip. No matter what.
Even if it meant dying...
194 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1997 - CAFETERIA - DAY 194
FLASHBACK. Steven sits over an untouched tray of food,
staring at it detached.
STEVEN (V.O.)
Faking your death from AIDS is no easy
task, believe me. But after watching
Jimmy die, I thought I could make it
convincing. First, you have to starve
yourself- I ate half as much every day
for ten months. After that, you have to
fake all sorts of symptoms.
195 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1997 - MICHAEL UNIT CELL- NIGHT 195
FLASHBACK. Steven kneels over the toilet in his cell,
sticking his finger down his throat until he pukes.
STEVEN (V.O.)
You gotta keep this up for months until
you lose about, say, 80 pounds.
196 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1998 - MICHAEL UNIT CELL - MORNING 196
FLASHBACK. Months later, Steven sits up in his bed. He
now has a grey beard and with his shirt off we can see he
has lost an unhealthy amount of weight.
STEVEN (V.O.)
But the hardest part is falsifying your
records.
197 INT. TX STATE PEN, 1998 - MICHAEL UNIT CELL(LAWRENCE) DAY
197
Steven enters an inmate's cell (LAWRENCE) with a BIG BAG
OF COFFEE.
STEVEN
Hey Lawrence- you still work in the
infirmary?
LAWRENCE
Mmm hmm...
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 108.
Steven holds up a three pound BAG OF COFFEE.
STEVEN
You like coffee?
198 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1998 - INFIRMARY OFFICE - DAY 198
Lawrence sweeps up in an empty office. He looks to see
if the coast is clear and bolts for some file cabinets.
After some searching, Lawrence pulls out a file entitled
"Russell, Steven A". Reading from a scrap of paper, he
scrawls something with a pen.
Lawrence then reaches into his pants and pulls out some
forged forms- stuffing them into the folder.
199 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1998 - INFIRMARY - DAY 199
FLASHBACK. OPEN CLOSE on the gaunt and grey-skinned
Steven. A MALE NURSE places a thermometer in his mouth
and looks at Phillip's medical history.
CLOSE ON THE FILE- a doctor's entry reads "HIV+ since 91"
A few flips of the pages reveal FORGED BLOOD TEST
DOCUMENTS. Buzzwords like T-CELL COUNTS and other terms
catch the Nurse's eye.
He looks concerned.
MALE NURSE
I'll be right back.
200 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN, 1998 - INFIRMARY EXAM ROOM - DAY 200
FLASHBACK. Steven sits before a YOUNG PRISON DOCTOR who
looks through his records.
YOUNG DOCTOR
...you have AIDS.
Steven sits expressionless.
STEVEN
How long do I have?
And off the Doctor's grave face--
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 109.
201 INT. TEXAS STATE PENITENTIARY HOSPITAL WARD - 1998 - DAY 201
Steven lays in his hospital bed. A FAT NURSE puts a pill
in his mouth and follows it with some water. She exits.
Once she's clear, Steven reaches into his mouth and pulls
out the pill. He secretly places it into a small HOLE in
his mattress for safe keeping.
202 INT. TEXAS STATE PENITENTIARY HOSPITAL WARD - 1998 - DAY 202
FLASHBACK. Again, we are at the first hospital scene of
the movie. The cardio ALARM blares. Steven watches as a
DOCTOR appears and pushes the nurses aside.
DOCTOR
Where's the crash cart!?
He straddles the patient's chest and pushes down hard-
the sound of a sternum CRACKING can be heard.
With the staff distracted, Steven reaches into his
mattress hole and pulls out scores of pills. He stuffs
them into his mouth as fast as he can.
STEVEN (V.O.)
But the hardest part by far is getting
transferred to a private care facility.
It's standard procedure for late stage
patients, but convincing them I was about
to die would involve taking a few risks.
He chases the pills down with a glass of water.
203 EXT. RESTFUL ACRES CARE CENTER, 1998 - DAY 203
Steven is helped from a corrections van into a wheelchair
outside the Restful Acres facility.
STEVEN (V.O.)
After a four day coma, they were convinced.
204 INT. RESTFUL ACRES CARE CENTER, 1998 - DAY 204
In his bed at the care facility, Steven looks around and
picks up the phone. He talks with a FOREIGN ACCENT.
STEVEN
This is Doctor Rios from the Hamblin
Center, Houston. I'm looking for AIDS
patients for a study we're...
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 110.
And as he talks--
STEVEN (V.O.) (CONT'D)
And once I got settled in, I just called
the Department of Corrections and
convinced them I was a state-sponsored
doctor looking for late stage AIDS
patients for an experimental treatment.
(then)
As luck would have it, they had one
patient that was eligible...
Steven continues his Dr. Rios imitation on the phone.
STEVEN
Oh you do? Steven Russell? Could you
spell that?
CAMERA SETTLES on a nearby CALENDAR. It reads: "MONDAY,
JANUARY 5"
MATCH DISSOLVE TO:
205 INT. RESTFUL ACRES CARE CENTER, 1998 - DAY 205
The calendar reads "FRIDAY, MARCH 13" An ORDERLY enters
with a WHEELCHAIR.
ORDERLY
Mister Russell, the clinic sent a taxi
here to pick you up.
206 I/E. RESTFUL ACRES CARE CENTER, 1998 - DAY 206
Later that day, Steven is helped out of his wheelchair
into a waiting taxi.
STEVEN (V.O.)
And for all that time- all those doctors,
all those nurses and all those
facilities... not one of them ever
thought to give me an AIDS test...
The door SLAMS and off he drives.
STEVEN (V.O.)
Fucking Texas...
207 INT. TAXI, 1998 - DAY 207
Once clear, Steven speaks to the driver.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 111.
STEVEN
I had a special request when I ordered
the cab. Did they tell you?
TAXI DRIVER
Yeah- right here.
He lifts a GREASY BROWN BAG into view.
STEVEN
Thank God.
Steven grabs it and begins to gorge himself on BURGERS.
STEVEN (V.O.) (CONT'D)
A week later, the hospice was to get a
call from Doctor Rios, telling them
Steven Russell had died undergoing
treatment. And after all that hard work
dying? Where's the first place I go?
208 INT. TEXAS STATE PEN MEETING ROOM, 1998 - DAY 208
BACK TO MEETING ROOM. Phillip stands frozen before Steven
STEVEN (V.O.)
Funny, huh?
The guard pushes Phillip past the threshold. The door
SLAMS SHUT behind him.
He staggers toward Steven as a kaleidoscope of emotions
plays across his face. Bewilderment, relief, sorrow, joy
and finally, anger-
WHACK! He slaps Steven across the face.
PHILLIP
You're such a fucker!
STEVEN
I know- I'm sorry- You weren't supposed
to find out.
PHILLIP
Well I did!
STEVEN
I couldn't take a chance telling you. You
know that. I couldn't. But Phillip, I
only did it so I could get here to you.
(then)
Just to talk to you. And here I am.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 112.
Phillip tries to take this to heart. After a moment...
PHILLIP
You're so skinny.
STEVEN
I'm fine. Just hungry.
PHILLIP
Steven I don't-
STEVEN
Wait. Listen. I just came here to tell
you one thing and that's it. You don't
have to take me back, I just want to say
one thing.
Phillip is listening.
STEVEN (CONT'D)
I know you thought we were nothing but a
lie- but underneath all those lies there
was always something that was real. I
thought about what you said to me. You
said you don't know who I am. But I have
to tell you- I know now. I know who I
am. I mean- I'm not a lawyer, I'm not a
CFO, I'm not a cop. Hell I'm not even an
escape artist. Those Steven Russells are
dead. And now, all that's left is the man
that loves you. That's all. Nothing
else. I'm just the man that loves you.
(then)
And if you can see that... believe it...
then I promise I'll never be anything
else ever again.
A LONG, LONG SILENCE. Phillip looks to him.
PHILLIP
How do I know you're not bullshitting me
again?
Steven pauses. He looks Phillip square in the eye.
STEVEN
You don't.
And as Phillip stares at him-
CUT TO BLACK:
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 113.
A long SILENCE. Then finally...
FADE IN:
209 INT. TEXAS COURTHOUSE CORRIDOR - 1998 - DAY 209
At a window, a CLERK stamps a few documents and hands
them to Steven, who is dressed in his lawyer attire.
Steven exits the line and ducks into a nearby bathroom.
210 INT. TEXAS COURTHOUSE MEN'S ROOM - 1998 - DAY 210
At the urinal, Steven whistles to himself.
SUPER: "Steven Russell was arrested two weeks later
trying to secure Phillip's release."
Steven turns his head to find the man at the next urinal
staring at him. It's a very surprised Birkheim with a
badge affixed to his jacket reading, "JUROR".
Steven SMILES at him.
211 INT. TEXAS COURTROOM - 1999 - DAY 211
Steven sits in court while a FEMALE D.A. argues her case.
SUPER: "An embarrassment to the State of Texas and
Governor George Bush, Steven was given an unprecedented
life sentence."
She nods to the audience where Lindholm sits smiling.
SUPER: "Coincidentally, the D.A. who prosecuted him was
the Sister in law of Dan Lindholm- Steven's former boss"
212 INT. LOCKDOWN CELL, 1999 - NIGHT 212
Steven smiles wide, shackled in a solitary 6 by 7 cell.
SUPER: "Steven sits in 23 hour-a-day lockdown, with only
one hour a day for supervised showers and exercise."
Steven stares at his Key West CALENDAR with a small photo
of Phillip attached to it.
The cell brightens, everything around Steven blooms with
white light. He looks to see.
"I Love You Phillip Morris" Green Pages 5-23-08 114.
213 EXT. OCEAN - DAY 213
STEVEN'S POV. Phillip also enveloped in white light,
sits on the bow of staring at him with a smile.
Steven smiles back.
FADE TO BLACK.
SUPER: "On average, there are 1.7 Friday the 13ths a
year.
214 EXT. TEXAS STATE PENITENTIARY - DAY 214
A SIREN BLARES over a wide of the facility. Small in
frame, we see Steven running from the prison gaining
ground on the two guards chasing him.
THE END
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