LEGALLY BLONDE
Karen McCullah Lutz & Kirsten Smith
Shooting Draft
July 31, 2000
INT. DELTA GAMMA HOUSE - DAY 1
"HEAD OVER HEELS" by the Go-Go's plays as we wind through a
flock of abstract, silky, golden strands -- PULLING BACK, to
discover that the strands are hair on a BLONDE GIRL's head.
But not just any blonde girl, a girl in Delta Gamma, the
blondest, most beautiful sorority at USC.
We PULL BACK further to see that she's signing a handmade
card. She holds it up ~ OVER HER SHOULDER, we see hearts
and glitter surrounding and "Good Luck Tonight!" and "Elle
and Warner forever!."
She carries the card out of her room and we FOLLOW HER across
the hall, into the room of --
THREE BLONDE CHEERLEADERS, who stop practicing their pom-pom
routine to sign the card. As they finish, we follow the Card
Girl out and into the room of --
A BLONDE GIRL IN A TANK TOP and shorts, working out on a
Stairmaster as "General Hospital" plays on a tiny TV. She
signs the card while continuing to exercise. We move on, to
the room of--
A BLONDE GIRL MAKING OUT WITH HER BOYFRIEND who stops long
enough to sign the card, as her boyfriend nibbles on her
neck. She hands the card back and we head into the room of --
A BLONDE PARTY GIRL who pours a pink frozen margarita into a
glass from the blender, then passes it down to ANOTHER BLONDE
GIRL, assembly-line style. The card goes one way, being
signed, as the drinks go the other.
Once the card arrives back in the Card Girl's hands, we
follow her out of the room and down the hall until she
reaches the very last and biggest door --
She puts a kiss mark on the card, then kneels down and slides
the card under the door.
INT. ELLE'S DELTA GAMMA ROOM - DAY - CONTINUOUS 2
The CARD slides into the pink room, hitting the feet of
UNDERDOG, a tiny chihuahua ~ who picks it up in his mouth
and trots it over to a pair of perfectly pedicured feet in
strappy sandals.
An equally perfectly manicured hand with a "Sisters Forever"
charm bracelet dangling from the wrist, scoops up Underdog.
(CONTINUED)
2.
2 2
As he rises, we RISE WITH HIM, passing toned, waxed, tanned
legs in pink Prada pedal pushers and a pair of perky boobs
encased in a spaghetti-strap top -- until we finally reveal a
magnificent head of long blonde hair and a sweet, beautiful
face. This is ELLE WOODS, 21, the Goddess Queen of Delta
Gamma. She talks on a pink, fuzzy phone.
ELLE
(into the phone)
I love you, too!
Behind her, a "Go USC" banner is pinned to the pink wall. A
stack of "Cosmopolitan"s and "Glamour"s teeters on the
dresser. The closet overflows with trendy, designer clothes
in a predominance of pink.
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing; into phone)
I'll see you tonight.
She hangs up and lets out a squeal of joy, kissing Underdog's
head and taking the card out of his mouth. She reads it,
touched.
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing)
"Elle and Warner forever". Aww...
Underdog yips.
2
3 INT. DELTA GAMMA HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY - SAME TIME
A Delta Gamma/Sigma Chi barbecue in full swing. Beautiful
college students drink beer and mingle, trying to figure out
who they're going to sleep with next.
The main wall of the living room has been designated as a
"Model Wall" of Delta Gamma girls -- ELLE smiles at us from a
Hawaiian Tropic ad and a Miss June USC calendar photo. A
cover of an Italian Vogue shows a blonde sexpot MARGOT; a USC
cheerleader poster displays a hard-bodied non-blonde SERENA
in a pom-pom pose.
Serena walks up, fending off an admirer.
SERENA
Jeremy, enough! I am not going to formal
with you.
Jeremy slinks off as Margot arrives, agitated.
MARGOT
Can someone please tell Rick that he is
not the only Sigma Chi with a big penis?
(CONTINUED)
3.
3
ELLE (O.S.)
You guys are so sweet!
ELLE, a vision of fluffy blondeness, runs down the stairs
toward Serena and Margot, holding the card.
ELLE (CONT'D)
But I ' m not positive it's gonna happen
to n i g h t --
. SERENA
Helloo...he just had lunch with his
grandmother. You know he got "The Rock".
MARGOT
Why else would she have flown in from
Newport? It's not like she'd Fed Ex a
six carat diamond.
ELLE
(excited)
You think?
SERENA
I can't believe you're getting engaged!
· . .
The three girls jump up and down, squealing and hugging.
ELLE
C'mon ·-- you have to help me pick out the
perfect outfit.
As they head toward the door, Elle spots AMY, a shy girl in a
Delta Gamma Pledge sweatshirt, standing alone.
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Amy, what's wrong?
AMY
I don't really -- know anyone.
ELLE
(teasing)
That's because you spend too much time in
the library. Come with me.
(to Serena and Margot)
I'll meet you outside.
As they go, Elle leads Amy over to a group of jovial Sigma
Chi brothers.
(CONTINUED)
4.
( 2 ) 3
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Bra ndon , Jason, Grant --this is Amy.
Why don't you tell her about the time you
guys went golfing naked?
Elle winks at Amy and.heads off as the guys launch into their
story.
BRANDON
It was classic. Jason hit with wood all
day.
GRANT
And we never ran out of balls --
Amy laughs.
INT. SUNSET PLAZA BOUTIQUE - DAY
Serena and Margot watch as Elle stands in front of a mirror,
trying on a Herve Leger white mini-dress. Sexy and ultra-
tight. ;
ELLE
Too demure?
MARGOT
I think you should go with red. It's the
color of confidence.
ELLE
Well, I don't want to look like I know
what's coming. . .
SERENA
I don't understand why you're completely
disregarding your signature color.
She holds up a tiny pink slipdress.
ELLE
He's proposing! I can't look like I
would on any date. This is the date. The
night I'll always remember. I want to
look special. Bridal . . . but not like I
suspect anything.
ACROSS THE STORE
A SALESWOMAN looks at her cohort.
(CONTINUED)
5.
4
SALESWOMAN
(sot.to)
There ' s nothing I love more than a dumb
blonde with daddy's plastic.
She grabs a dress off the Clearance Sale rack, ripping off
the "HALF PRICE" TAG.
ON ELLE AND THE GIRLS
. SERENA
I can't wait to see you wearing The Rock!
Elle looks at them, suddenly concerned.
ELLE
Wh at if -- you know -- it's not the
night?
MARGOT
Why else would he be taking you to The
Ivy? You've been dating for a year --
it's not like he's trying to impress you.
SERENA
Elle, you've heard the man pass gas in
his sleep. That practically means you're
pre-engaged. '"
The Saleswoman approaches with the dress, kiss-assy smile on
her face.
SALESWOMAN
Did you see this one? We just got it in
yesterday.
Elle fingers the dress, then the new price tag, looking back
at the saleswoman, excited.
ELLE
Is this a low-viscosity rayon?
SALESWOMAN
Uh, yes -- of course.
ELLE
With half-loop top-stitching on the hem?
SALESWOMAN
(smiling a lie)
Absolutely. It's one of a kind.
(CONTINUED)
6.
CO NT I NU E D: ( 2 ) . · 4
^ Elle hands the dress back to her, no longer pretending to be
excited.
ELLE
It's impossible to use a half-loop
topstitch on low-viscosity rayon. It
would snag the fabric. And you didn't
just get this in, because I remember it
from the June Vogue a year ago, so if
you're trying to sell it to me at full
price, you picked the wrong girl.
The saleswoman slinks off, embarrassed.
MARGOT
(to the saleswoman)
Nice try...
Elle shakes her head and turns back to the girls as she slips
on her Manolo Blahnik sandals, doing one last mirror check,
smoothing down her golden mane.
ELLE
(dramatically)
Girls, this is it. In a few hours, I'll
be the future Mrs. Warner Huntington III.
5 EXT, DELTA GAMMA HOUSE - NIGHT
An attractive male finger presses the doorbell.
6 INT. DELTA GAMMA HOUSE - FOYER - NIGHT - SAME TIME
Amy peeks through the peephole and turns.
AMY
(whispering)
He's here!
Elle, standing nearby with Margot and Serena and several
other DG's, smooths down her dress and takes a deep breath,
o pening the door to find --
WARNER HUNTINGTON, III, 21, tall, chiseled and outrageously
handsome. He takes her in, a smile spreading across his
face.
WARNER
You're beautiful.
ELLE
So are you!
(CONTINUED)
.7.
6
She looks up at him, blushing and completely smitten. They
kiss. After a moment,-Warner extracts himself.
WARNER
(nervous)
You ready?
Her face is awash with devotion.
ELLE
I am so ready.
7 EXT. THE IVY - NIGHT
Warner and Elle are seated at a cozy table on the patio.
Elle takes a sip from her freshly poured champagne flute.
Nervous and excited.
ELLE
Here' s to ~ us.
Warner is slower to sip his.
WARNER
The reason I wanted to come here tonight
was to discuss our future.
Elle is on the edge of her seat.
ELLE
I ' m fully amenable to that discussion.
WARNER
I mean, we're having a lot of fun now --
but things are gonna be different when
I ' m at Harvard Law school is a completely
different world. I need to be serious.
ELLE
Of course.
WARNER
My family expects a lot from me. And I
expect a lot from me. I .plan on running
for office some day.
ELLE
And I fully support that.
(CONTINUED)
8.
7 7
WA R N ER
But the thing is, if I ' m gonna be a
senator by the time I ' m thirty -- I can't
keep dicking around.
ELLE
I completely agree.
WARNER
T hat 's why I think it's time for us to--
Elle takes a deep breath, filled with anticipation.
WARNER (CONT'D)
( ot n ig . . · > . ' .
c n iu n )
I think we should break up.
Elle's champagne glass drops from her hand and CRASHES onto
the patio.
ELLE
What?
Elle starts to flush, completely caught off guard.
WARNER
I ' m sorry, Elle, I just --
ELLE
You're breaking up with me?!
(tearing up)
I thought you were proposing.
WARNER
Proposing?! Elle, If I ' m going to be a
politician, I need to marry a Jackie, not
a -- Marilyn.
ELLE
(stunned)
You're breaking up with me because I ' m
too -- blonde?
WARNER
T hat' s not entirely --
ELLE
Then what? My boobs are too big?
WARNER.
Elle -- no --· your boobs are fine --
Her tears start.
(CON TINUED )
.9.
i
(2)
CONTINU ED:
ELLE
So when you said you'd always love me,
you were just "dicking around"?
Warner looks around the restaurant nervously.
WARNER
I do love you, Elle. I just can't marry you.
You have no idea the pressure I ' m under. My
family has five generations of senators. My
brother is in the top three at Yale Law. He ·
just got engaged to a Vanderbilt, for crissakes.
Elle stares at him aghast, tears streaming down her face,
then pushes her chair away from the table and walks out.
WARNER (CONT'D)
(continuing)
It's not like I have a choice, sweetheart
He follows her out.
8 EXT.' STREET - NIGHT 8
Elle teeters down the sidewalk as best she can in her three
inch heels, sobbing. Warner pulls up alongside her in his
convertible Saab.
WARNER
C'mon. Let me take you home.
ELLE
No.
WARNER
Elle -- it's twenty miles back to campus.
Elle stops, thinks a minute, then gets in, still crying.
Catching her poofy little purse in the door. She re-opens
i t, yanking the purse back in. Warner pulls out.
9 EXT. DELTA GAMMA HOUSE - USC - NIGHT 9
Warner pulls up in front. It's a starry, romantic night.
Everything should be perfect. It's not.
Elle sits, still in shock, as tears continue to eke out.
WARNER
Elle, believe me, I never expected to be
doing this, but I think it's the right
thing to do.
(CONTINUED)
10.
9
ELLE
How can it be the right thing if we're
not together?
WARNER .
I have to think about my future. And what
people expect from me.
ELLE
So you're breaking up with me because
you're afraid your family won't like me?
(through her tears)
Everybody likes me!
WARNER
East coast people are different.
ELLE
Just because I ' m not a Vanderbilt, all of
a sudden I ' m white trash? I grew up in
Bel Air, Warner! Across the street from
Aaron Spelling! I think most people
would agree that's way better than a
Vanderb ilt --
WARNER
I told you, Elle. I need someone --
serious.
ELLE
I ' m seriously in love with you -- Isn't
that enough? He looks away.
WARNER
I ' m sorry.
She gets out of the car and drags herself up the stairs to
her sorority house. When she's at the top, she turns back to
look at him. His perfect cheekbones highlighted by the
streetlamp.
He meets her eyes, pained, but determined. Then pulls away,
leaving her there.
10 INT. DELTA GAMMA HOUSE - USC - NIGHT 10
Elle walks down the pink and green carpeted hall, dazed and
tear-stained.
Margot and Serena emerge from the bathroom, post-shower.
Getting ready for a night out.
(CONTINUED)
. :-
1L
10 10
MARGOT
Why are you back so soon?
Serena sees Elle's bare hand.
SERENA .
Did he forget the ring?
Elle silently walks into her room. Serena and Margot follow,
worried.
11 INT. ELLE'S DELTA GAMMA ROOM - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS 11
Elle slumps down in an inflatable chair, hugging her knees
and cowering in a wretched little ball. Underdog stares at
her, concerned.
Serena and Margot stand in the door.
MARGOT
Elle?
SERENA
Where's the Rock?
ELLE ·.
.·.
We're not engaged. It's over!
SERENA AND MARGOT
What?!
ELLE
.
He broke up with me!
Serena and Margot gasp in horror, rushing to her side.
SERENA
Is it a Kappa?
MARGOT
It's not a Theta --
ELLE
No -- it's just -- not me.
I ' m canceling the mixer. We'll blacklist
Sigma Chi.
ELLE
Thank you, Serena, but I don't think
it'll do any good.
(CONTINUED)
12.
11 11
SERENA
What happened?
Elle starts to lose it again.
; ELLE
I don't know! Everything was normal at
first and then he said he needed someone
mo r e --
(sob-choked)
Serious! .
MARGOT
S e r i o u s ? ! Who the hell does he think he
i s ? Y o u ' r e the most popu l a r month on the
U S C calendar!
S h e points to Elle's "Miss June" page, hanging on the wall.
SER EN A
O h , he is so over on this campus.
ELLE
I just don ' t underst a n d what went wrong --
MA RG OT
Maybe it's the grandmother. Have you
e v e r me t he r ?
E l l e wipes her face.
ELLE
Last month on his birthday. And she
liked me! She said I looked like Britney
Spears. Why would you say that to
someone you didn't like?
They shrug, mystified.
SERENA
How could this happen?
ELLE
I don't know! I don't know anything any
more!
(wiping a tear)
I just need to be by myself.
SERENA
Are you sure?
Elle nods. The girls rise, hugging her.
(CONTINUED)
13.
11 (2) 11
MARGOT
We still love you. Sisters forever!
ELLE
(sniffling)
Thank you. I love you, too.
As they go, Margot looks at Serena.
MARGOT
Oh, God. What if Josh doesn't think I ' m
serious enough? .
SERENA
Helloo... you let him have anal sex with
you.
(TV VERSION)
Helloo... you let him videotape you
diddling yourself. ·
MARGOT
You're right. Phew!
As the girls go, they shut the door behind them.
Elle gets up and grabs a FRAMED PHOTO of Warner, then lies
down on her bed, clutching it to her heart. Underdog leaps
up and gives her little doggy kisses.
12 EXT. DELTA GAMMA HOUSE - DAY 12
The sun rises on a sad day. "HOPELESSLY DEVOTED" by Olivia ·
Newton-John plays. .
13 INT. DELTA GAMMA HOUSE - HALLWAY - DAY 13
Amy knocks on Elle's door.
AMY
Elle?
ANOTHER SISTER passes.
ANOTHER SISTER ·
(whispering)
Didn't you hear?
She leads a reluctant Amy down the hall.
14 INT. ELLE'S DELTA GAMMA ROOM - DAY 14
Spread out on the bed are PICTURES of Elle and Warner: The
Sigma Chi formal; their Homecoming Queen and King "wave";
(CONTINUED)
14.
14 14
a 60's party; Mardi Gras night; beach weekend at Coronado.
Next to the pictures are thirty dried Ecuardorian long-
stemmed pink roses, remnants of their one year anniversary.
In the center sits Elle, wearing Warner's old oversized Sigma
Chi t-shirt, clutching a Gund teddybear. Depressed and
looking like hell, she speaks to an unseen confidante.
ELLE
I just love him so much! I loved him the
first moment I saw him. He's beautiful
and smart and someone I totally respect.
And I did everything I could to make him
love me, but it wasn't enough. Now what
am I supposed to do? I planned my whole
future around him. My life was going to
be all about Warner. Now what's it going
to be about?
She looks up -- waiting. Staring back at her is Underdog --
who sadly has no answers for her.
15 INT. ELLE'S DELTA GAMMA ROOM - DAY 15
Elle remains in bed, Underdog now clutched to her chest,
soaps on the TV.
TV SOAP STUD
(on TV)
"Oh, darling. I'll love you forever."
ELLE
(teary)
Bullshit!
Serena and Margot enter, bearing Jamba Juice.
MARGOT
Honey, stop! You have to leave this room
-- it's been a week.
ELLE
So?
+
S erena sits down on the edge of the bed, trying to psyche
Elle up.
SERENA
What's the thing that always makes us
feel better, no matter what? .
MARGOT
Cunnilingus?
(CONTINUED)
15.
15 15
Elle lets out a wail, realizing what she'll be missing.
Serena shoots Margot a stern look.
SERENA
No -- the thing after that,
16 INT. UPSCALE MANICURE SHOP - DAY 16
A row of uniformed manicurists and their classy clients.
Chattering away. Therapy in full session. Serena sits in
front of her regular nail technician.
SERENA
It was awful. We all thought she'd be
the first to walk down the aisle and now
she's totally adrift.
The nail technician shakes her head in shared girl-power-
angst -- looking over at Elle, who sits in the waiting area,
shell-shocked, but showered.
Elle picks up the only magazine left on the table -- "Town &
Country". She wrinkles her nose. An OLD LADY next to her
reads "Seventeen". Elle looks at her, begrudging the access
to teen beauty tips, and flips through "Town & Country"
n oisily until she freezes on-- the Engagement Section. She
gasps.
ELLE
Oh, my God! .
She looks at a PHOTO of a horse-faced YOUNG WOMAN standing
next to a THREE-YEARS-OLDER VERSION OF WARNER. She turns to
the old lady next to her.
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Do you know who this is?
The old lady looks.
OLD LADY
No.
ELLE
It's Warner's older brother!
OLD LADY
Who?
Elle continues, undaunted.
(CONTINUED)
16.
16 16
EL LE
He just got engaged to this -- this very
unfortunate-looking girl.
(reading)
"Third year Yale Law student Putnam Bowes
Huntington III and his fiance Layne
Walker Vanderbilt, first year Yale Law."
She turns to the old lady.
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing)
This is the type-of girl Warner wants to
marry. This is what I need to become to
be serious.
The old lady looks at the picture.
OLD LADY
Butt ugly?
ELLE
No -- a law student.
Elle rushes out. Serena looks after her.
SERENA
Elle?
(turning back to her nail
technician)
She'll never get him back with those
cuticles.
17 INT. COUNSELOR'S OFFICE - DAY 17
Elle sits in front of her ADVISOR.
ADVISOR
(flummoxed)
Harvard Law School?
ELLE
That's right.
ADVISOR
But it's a top three school --
ELLE
(offended)
I have a 4.0.
(CONTINUED)
17.
17 17
ADVISOR
Yes, but your major is Fashion
Merchandising. Harvard won't be
impressed that you aced "History of
Lycra". What are your backups?
ELLE
I don't need backups. Harvard is the
school I' m going to.
He decides to humor her.
ADVISOR
Well, then. You'll need excellent
recommendations from your professors, a
heck of an admissions essay and at least
a one-seventy-five on your LSATs.
ELLE
(confident)
I once had to judge a Theta Chi Tighty-
Whitey contest. Trust me-- I can handle
anything.
18 INT. ELLE'S DELTA GAMMA ROOM - DAY 18
Elle sits on the floor surrounded by piles of LSAT prep
books, the framed photo of Warner, and Underdog.
There's a KNOCK at the door as Serena and Margot peek inside,
gasping in horror at the sight of books.
MARGOT
What are you doing?!
Elle smiles brightly at them.
ELLE
Reading about the LSATs.
Margot looks at Serena, confused.
SERENA
(in a horrified whisper)
My cousin had them. Apparently you get a
really bad rash on your --
Elle interrupts her.
ELLE
The LSATs are an exam.
She takes a deep breath.
(CONTINUED)
18.
18 18
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Girls-- I ' m going to Harvard!
· SERENA
What, like on va-kay?
MARGOT
Let's all go! Road trip!
. SERENA
Wait -- Cecil has a condo in Tahoe.
Let's go there!
ELLE
No -- I ' m going to law school at Harvard.
They look at her, confused.
MARGOT
Why?!
SERENA
I mean, I know you're upset and all, but
can't you just take a sedative?
Elle rolls her eyes at their naivete.
ELLE
Once Warner sees me as a serious law
student, he'll want me back. It's a
completely brilliant plan!
MARGOT
But isn't it kind of hard to get into law
school?
ELLE
I have the highest GPA in Delta Gamma!
Margot pulls something off her wrist and hands it to Elle.
MARGOT
Here. You're gonna need this.
ELLE
Your scrunchie?
MARGOT
My lucky scrunchie. It helped me pass
Spanish.
Serena rolls her eyes and looks at Margot disapprovingly.
(CONTINUED)
19.
18 (2) 18
S ER EN A
You passed Spanish because you gave
Professor Montoya a hand-job after the
final.
MARGOT
(duh)
Yeah, luckily.
A MONTAGE OF THE NEXT 3 MONTHS BEGINS WITH...
19 EXT. WOODS' BEL AIR BACKYARD - DAY 19
ON VIDEO, Elle sits in a Jacuzzi in her bikini.
ELLE
(to the camera)
My name is Elle Woods and for my
admissions essay, I ' d like to tell all of
you at Harvard why I ' m going to make an
amazing lawyer.
20 INT. KAPPA SIG LIVING ROOM - NIGHT 20
The girls watch a horror movie with Kappa Sigs. Eating
popcorn and drinking red wine.
Off to the side, Elle reads an LSAT Study Guide.
21 INT. DELTA GAMMA HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY 21
ON VIDEO, a Delta Gamma chapter meeting takes place.
ELLE (V.O.)
As president of my sorority, I ' m skilled
at commanding the attention of a room and
discussing important issues.
Elle bangs a gavel, as she sits in front of her sisters.
ELLE (CONT'D)
~ It has come to my attention that the
maintenance staff is switching our toilet
paper from Charmin to generic. All those
opposed to chafing, pleas.e say "aye".
The sisters "AYE" in unison. Underdog barks his approval.
22 INT. CLASSROOM - NIGHT 22
"LSAT Prep Course" is written on the board. Elle and forty
other law school hopefuls take notes furiously as practice
questions are reviewed.
20.
23 EXT. WOODS BACKYARD POOL - DAY 23
ON VIDEO, FROM ABOVE, we see Elle as she floats on a raft in
her pool, in a pink Versace bikini. She addresses the
camera.
ELLE
(to the camera)
I ' m able to recall hundreds of important
details at the drop of a hat.
We reveal Margot on a raft beside her.
MARGOT
(badly acting)
Elle, do you know what happened on "Days
of Our Lives" yesterday?
ELLE
Why, yes, Margot, I do. Once again, we
joined Hope in the search for her
identity. As you know, she's been .
brainwashed by the evil Stefano --
24 INT. DELTA GAMMA HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY 24
Elle takes a practice LSAT exam as Serena, Margot and a few
other Delta Gammas do their butt-crunches in the Delta Gamma
living room.
Serena, while clenching her tush, hits a stop watch and Elle
starts writing furiously.
DISSOLVE TO:
Margot is now on all-fours, doing donkey kicks as she grades
Elle's practice exam. She writes "143" on top and holds it
up to Elle.
Elle slumps with frustration.
25 EXT. BEACH - DAY · 25
ON VIDEO, Elle is rollerblading in shorts and a tank top.
ELLE
(to the camera)
And the laws and bi-laws of civil
obedience are crucial to my life --
Serena skates by and fake-elbows Elle.
(CONTINUED)
21.
25 25
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing; calling after her)
No shoving on the skate path! City
ordinance 22G!
26 INT. LIBRARY STUDY ROOM - NIGHT 26
Elle sits in front of Amy, as Amy quizzes her with practice
LSAT questions. Books are piled high around them.
Elle gazes out the.window to see ---Warner and some BARE-
CHESTED FRATERNITY BOYS carrying a keg across the quad. Her
eyes light up and she looks at Amy pleadingly. Amy shakes her
head no. Elle slumps, then rises and goes to the window,
closing the shades and getting back to work.
·27 EXT. USC CAMPUS - DAY 27
ON VIDEO, Elle addresses the camera.
ELLE
I feel confident using legal jargon in
daily life.
CUT TO:
ON VIDEO, Elle walks across campus with Underdog in her
purse, feigning staged innocence. A RANDOM FRAT BOY pinches
her butt. She slaps his hand, dramatically.
ELLE (CONT'D)
I object!
28 INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY 28
"LSAT EXAM -- Sections 1-6" is scrawled on the chalk board.
Elle sits in an auditorium with about 90 other students, LSAT
booklet open, filling in answers. Concentrating so hard
she's practically getting a forehead wrinkle.
29 INT. ELLE'S DELTA GAMMA ROOM - DAY 29
ON VIDEO, Elle speaks to the camera.
ELLE
(to the camera)
I've seen every episode of "The Practice"
and I ' m even on speaking terms with Dylan
McDermott.
CUT TO:
22.
30 EXT. DYLAN MCDERMOTT'S HOUSE - DAY 30
Dylan McDermott gets into his car and pulls out of his
driveway.
VIDEOTAPING MADLY, the girls follow in Elle's Boxster.
SERENA
There he is!
. MARGOT
Pull up next to him!
Elle swerves around to pull up next to Dylan McDermott. They
scream at him as Serena videotapes.
ELLE
Dylan! We love you!
Dylan McDermott burns rubber as he flees.
EXT. USC CAMPUS - DAY 31 "
31
ON.VIDEO, Elle jogs while she addresses the camera.
ELLE :
(to camera) . .
I'm totally focused and goal-oriented.
Plus I ' m able to sway people with my very
convincing arguments. .
She turns to Serena, jogging next to her.
ELL E (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Calvin Klein's spring line is atrocious.
Don't you agree?
SERENA
(convinced)
Absolutely!
32 INT. DELTA GAMMA HOUSE - FOYER - DAY 32
Amy rushes in with a stack of mail, waving an LSAT envelope
as she calls out.
AMY
It's here!
Elle rushes down the stairs as the other Delta Gammas gather
around. Elle takes the envelope and says a quick prayer.
(CONTINUED)
23.
32 32
ELLE
One seventy-five...one seventy- five...
She opens it and stares at it for a long moment. Then turns
it to the crowd and raises it above her head in triumph. The
girls immediately begin jumping up and down as group joy
ensues. Underdog yips with pride. The MONTAGE ENDS.
33 INT. HARVARD LAW ADMISSIONS OFFICE - DAY 33
ON THE TV, Elle stands up in the Jacuzzi.
ELLE
(on TV)
And that's why you should vote for me.
Elle Woods. Future lawyer. For the Class
of 2003.
The video is PAUSED, as three ADMISSIONS GUYS in their 4.0's
sit at a table piled high with applications, the DEAN OF
ADMISSIONS at the head of it. STUNNED SILENCE fills the room.
Finally one of them speaks.
ADMISSIONS GUY #1
That was certainly a very --
(adjusting himself)
Imaginative essay.
ADMISSIONS GUY #2
(to the Dean)
She does have a 4.0 from USC and she got
a one-seventy-nine on her LSATs.
DEAN OF ADMISSIONS
A fashion major?
ADMISSIONS GUY #3
Well, we've never had one before...
aren't we always looking for diversity?
AMISSIONS GUY #1
Her list of extracurriculars is
impressive.
The Dean looks at her application.
DEAN OF ADMISSIONS
(unimpressed)
She was in a Ricky Martin video --
ADMISSIONS GUY #2
Clearly, she's interested in music...
(CONTINUED)
24.
33 33
DEAN OF ADMISSIONS
(reading on; skeptical)
She also designed a line of faux fur
panties for her sorority's charity
project --
ADMISSIONS GUY #3
Then she's a friend to animals as well as
a philanthropist.
. AMISSIONS GUY #1
I think it's obvious that she's a very
well-rounded individual.
He points to Elle -- freeze-framed in her bikini-top on
video, on the TV. The admissions guys look to the Dean. He
folds.
DEAN OF ADMISSIONS
Elle Woods -- Welcome to Harvard.
34 EXT. WOODS' BACKYARD - DAY . 34
Elle's parents -- DANIEL, in tennis clothes, and the face-
lifted SAPPHIRE -- stare at Elle over juice by the pool.
DANIEL
(frowning)
Law school?
Sapphire puts a hand to her throat in distress. Elle is
confused.
ELLE
It's a perfectly respectable place...
DANIEL
Sweetheart, you don't need law school.
Law school is for people who are boring
and ugly and Serious. And you, button/
are none of those things.
Sapphire is in agreement.
SAPPHIRE
You were first runner-up in the Miss
Hawaiian Tropic contest. Why throw all
that away?
ELLE
Because this is what I want. I've worked
hard for it. Don't you understand that
this is important to me?
(CONTINUED)
25.
34 34
She looks at her uncomprehending parents.
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Going to Harvard is the only way I can
get the love of my life back!
Sapphire looks at her, still not getting it. ·
SAPPHIRE
Can't you just suck his wiener?
(TV VERSION)
Can't you just get your nose done?
Elle reacts to her mother's skewed logic.
·
35 EXT. HARVARD DORM - DAY 35
Pale, studious LAW STUDENTS clad in earth tones, move into
their dorm, carrying in their spartan belongings (coffee
makers, books, computers).
In the distance, a HAPPY POP SONG (perhaps "Heaven Tonight by
Hole) is heard. As it gets louder, heads turn to see --
A silver, convertible Boxster driving up, Elle at the wheel,/
MUSIC BLASTING. A large MOVING VAN follows the Boxster.
Peop le lean out of their windows, buzzing with interest as--
Elle's car stops in front of the dorm. She hops out,
scooping up Underdog and looking every inch the LA-Fred-Segal-
glamour-queen, as she looks around with a smile.
Elle looks at Underdog.
ELLE
We're here!
She bends down to pour some Evian into his inflatable doggy
dish, inadvertently revealing cleavage to a passing
BESPECTACLED BOY (several yards away).
He trips, dropping his I-MAC. It shatters into a million
pieces.
Not noticing/ Elle stands and turns to two MOVING GUYS/ who
are hauling a pink, faux-fur love seat and a potted palm tree
out of the truck.
(CONTINUED)
26.
35 35
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing)
This way, guys!
With a beauty queen smile in place, she strides into the dorm
as the other students watch in amazement.
HANGING OUT OF THE WINDOW
ARROGANT AARON, a Mensa geek with attitude, turns to his
roommate.
ARROGANT AARON
Whose knob did she honk to get in here?
36 EXT. LAW SCHOOL QUAD - DAY 36
" W e l c o m e Law Students Class of 2003" banners hang over
o r i e n t a t i o n tables manned by second year law students (2L's)
w e a r i n g red t-shirts. Club tables with banners that read
" H a r v a r d Law Journal" and "Environmental Law Association" are
s e t up nearby.
E l l e takes a packet from a fuzzy MALE 2L.
F U Z Z Y 2L
Class schedule, map, book list.
ELLE
H a s Warner Huntington checked in yet?
F U Z Z Y 2L
( ch ec ki ng)
U h , no. Maybe you should try the Lido
dec k.
S h e frowns and starts to move on, but then looks through the
p a c k e t with a frown and turns back.
ELLE
W a i t -- my social events schedule is .
mis sin g.
F U Z Z Y 2L
Y o u r what?
ELLE
You know -- mixers, formals, beach
· trips.
(CONTINUED)
27.
36 . 36
FUZZY 2L
(deadpan)
There's a pizza welcome lunch in twenty
minutes. Does that count?
ELLE
(wrinkling her nose)
I guess it'll have t o . . .
The Fuzzy Guy looks at the red-shirted BALD 2L next to him,
as Elle walks off. ,
FUZZY 2L
What the hell.was that?
BALD 2L
(watching her go)
Malibu Barbie lives.
37 EXT. HARVARD LAW SCHOOL - OUTDOOR GARDEN - DAY 37
Elle sits at the outdoor table, ignoring her slice of pizza,
as she looks around for Warner. Not finding him, she turns
her attention to the Group Leader, a BURNED OUT 2L in a red t-
shirt.
BURNED OUT 2L
Okay. Welcome to law school. This is the
part where we go around in a circle and
everyone says a little bit about
themselves. Let's start with you.
He gestures at a guy with glasses, DORKY DAVID.
DORKY DAVID
I have a Masters in Russian Literature, a
Ph.D in Biochemistry, and for the last
eighteen months, I've been de- worming
orphans in Somalia.
BURNED OUT 2L
Awesome. How about you, Enid?
ENID, a militant feminista, looks up.
ENID
P h.D from Berkeley in Women's Studies--
emphasis in the History of Combat. And
last year, I led the march for Lesbians
Against Drunk Driving.
BURNED OUT 2L
Killer.
(CONTINUED)
28.
37 37
He looks at an intense guy in his late twenties, IVAN.
INTENSE IVAN
I've got an MBA from Wharton, worked on
Wall Street for four years, mushed in
three ididarods and I ' ve figured out how
to crash the stock market in Sri Lanka if
any of you want to get together later.
BURNED OUT 2L
Sweet. What about you?
He looks at Elle. She sits up straight.
ELLE
I ' m a Gemini. I have a Bachelors degree
from USC, where I was Sigma Chi
Sweetheart and president of Delta Gamma,
and last year '· -- I was Homecoming Queen .
She smiles, as the group leader nods, waiting.
ELL E (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Oh!
(dramatically)
Two weeks ago, I saw Cameron Diaz at Fred
Segal -- and talked her out of buying a
truly heinous angora sweater! Whoever
said that orange is the new pink is
seriously disturbed.
She looks around, pleased. Enid' snickers as the rest of the
group stares at Elle, dumbfounded.
38 INT. ELLE'S DORM ROOM - DAY 38
A grey, dingy, cell-block style room -- now crammed with
Elle's clothes, the pink fluffy love seat and potted palm,
along with an Elliptical Cross-Trainer, pink flamingo party
lights and a neon pink margarita glass sculpture.
Elle tries to shove a large law textbook into her tiny Prada
backpack to no avail. She gives up and tosses the book onto
the bed where Underdog leaps away to miss being squished.
ELLE
Wish me luck, Underdog. It's my first
class as a serious law student.
She kisses him and looks down at her completely inappropriate
skimpy Gucci outfit, which she accents by putting on trendy,
wire-rimmed glasses.
(CONTINUED)
29.
38 38
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing; to herself)
I totally look the part!
39 INT. LAW SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY 39
Elle heads for a classroom, amidst a crowd of students who
eye her like she's an alien. She rounds a corner, seeing --
WARNER, in all his handsome glory, looking over his schedule.
She starts toward him, as if pulled by a magnetic force.
Arrogant Aaron sees her passing by.
ARROGANT AARON
(seductively)
H l o t e e. . . . . . .
el hr.
Elle keeps going, not even noticing him. Eyes only for
Warner. Arrogant Aaron stomps away, pissed at the perceived
blow-off.
As Elle gets closer to Warner, she opts for wandering past
him, seemingly oblivious to his presence.
WARNER
(stunned)
Elle?!
Elle turns, ultra-nonchalant.
ELLE
Warner?! Oh my God, I completely forgot
you were going here!
He looks at her, confused. People walk by, staring.
WARNER
What're you talking about? You're not
here to see me?
ELLE
No, silly. I go here.
WARNER
(still confused)
You go where?
ELLE
Harvard. Law school.
(CONTINUED)
30.
39 39
WARNER
v- y
-- Y ou g o t in to Ha rv a rd L aw ?
E LL E.
(con fuse d at his confusion)
W h at , like it's that.hard?
W a rn e r stares at her :-- completely discombobulated. She
s m i l es sweetly and makes a show of checking her watch.
. ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Oops! Time for class. Meet me after?
On the benches?
WARNER
Uh -- sure.
She sashays off with a confident smile.
40 INT. CIVIL PROCEDURES CLASS - DAY 4.0.
Students file in and take their seats. Elle enters, looking
around nervously at the imposing auditorium. Arrogant Aaron,
next to her, leans over.
ARROGANT AARON
If you're looking for the best seat, I
hear the front row is the place to be.
Elle smiles at him.
ELLE ·
Thanks.
41 INT. CIVIL PROCEDURES CLASS - DAY - LATER 41
PROFESSOR ELSPETH STROMWELL, a tough-as-nails Grande Dame in
her 50' s , addresses the class. Laptops abound -- except for
Elle, who has a fuzzy pink notebook and a pen with a pink
plastic heart on the end.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL
A legal education means you will learn to
speak in a new language. You will be
taught to achieve insight into the world
around you, and to sharply question what
you know.
Everyone soaks this up. Including Elle.
(C ONT IN UED )
31.
41 41
PROFESSOR STROMWELL (CONT'D)
(continuing)
The seat you've picked is yours for the
next nine months of your life. Enjoy it.
And those of you in the front row,
beware. . ..
El le , in the front row, between two UNSHOWERED BRANIACS, ·
looks around, panicked. One of the braniacs passes her the
seating chart and she has no choice but to sign her name.
In the back, Arrogant Aaron nudges his friend and smiles.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL (CONT'D)
(continuing)
"The law is reason free from passion."
Does anyone know who spoke those immortal
words?
Dorky David raises his hand.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Yes?
DORKY DAVID
(confidently)
Aristotle.
Professor Stromwell approaches him the way Cruella de Ville
approaches a puppy.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL
Are you sure?
Now he's not.
DORKY DAVID
Yes?
PROFESSOR STROMWELL
~ Would you be willing to stake your life
on it?
DORKY DAVID
I think so...
PROFESSOR STROMWELL
H o w about --
She spins around, roughly POKING another student in the head.
(CONTINUED)
32.
41 (2) 41
PROFESSOR STROMWELL (CONT'D)
(continuing)
-- his life?
DORKY DAVID
(scared)
I don't know.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL
Well, I recommend knowing before
speaking.. The law leaves much room for
interpretation -- but very little for
self-doubt.
As she turns away --
PROFESSOR STROMWELL (CONT'D)
(continuing)
And you were right. It was Aristotle.
The class half-laughs in relief.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL (CONT'D)
(continuing)
I assume you've all read pages 1- 48 and
are now well-versed in subject matter
jurisdiction.
Elle looks around, surprised, as students open their books.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Who can tell us about Gordon v. Steele?
Silence. Stromwell looks down at the seating chart.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Ivan Greenstein?
Intense Ivan straightens in his' seat.
IVAN
Gordon sued her doctors for malpractice.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL
And what did the dispute entail?
(looking at her chart)
Let's call on someone in the hot zone.
Elle Woods? Elle looks up, distressed.
(CONTINUED)
33.
41 (3) 41
ELLE
Uh... I wasn't aware that we had an
assignment.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL
(looking at her chart)
Sarah Knottingham?
SARAH KNOTTINGHAM -- a prim and preppy blue-blood brunette,
dressed in pearls and a sweater set -- looks up.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Do you think it's acceptable that Ms.
Woods is unprepared?
Sarah looks over at Elle. Elle gives her a mortified smile.
Sarah turns back to Professor Stromwell.
SARAH
No, I don't.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL
Would you support my decision to ask her
to leave and return to class only when
she is prepared?
SARAH
Absolutely.
Elle can't believe that this girl would betray her. Having
no choice,, she gathers her purse and goes, completely
humiliated. Professor Stromwell returns to the matter at
hand.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL
Now, Ms. Knottingham, did diversity
jurisdiction'exist in this case?
42 EXT. LAW SCHOOL QUAD - BENCHES - DAY - LATER 42
EMMETT -- a shy and quirkily handsome 28-year-old who could
pass for younger -- sits on a bench, going over some papers.
He looks up and spots Elle -- sitting across from him --
looking traumatized.
EMMETT
Are you okay?
Elle looks up, snapping out of her stupor.
(CONTINUED)
34.
42 . 42
ELLE
Do they just -- put you on the spot like
that? Like, all the time?
EMMETT
The professors? Yeah, they tend- to do
that. Socratic method.
ELLE
And if you don't know the answer, they
just kick you out?
He smiles.
EMMETT
You have Stromwell.
ELLE
(hopeful)
Did she do that to you, too?
EMMETT
No, but she made me cry once. Not in
class -- I waited until I got to my room,
but yeah, she can pretty much shrivel
your balls -- or you know, your
whatevers .
ELLE
(stricken)
Neat . · ' , '
EMMETT
Don't worry. It gets better. Who else
do you have?
Elle looks at her schedule.
ELLE
Donovan, Royalton and Levinson.
EMMETT
Speak up in Donovan's class. He likes
people with an opinion. Sit in the back
for Royalton. He tends to spit when he
talks about products liability.
Elle makes a face. He smiles. Liking her.
(CONTINUED)
35.
42 ( 2 ) 42
EMMETT (CONT'D)
(continuing)
And make sure you read the footnotes in
Levinson's class. That's where all her
exam questions come from.
ELLE
Wow. I ' m glad I met you.
She smiles at him, grateful.
EMMETT
Oh, and getting one of Stromwell's daily
quotes right is almost as important as
acing the mid-term. But you didn't hear
it from me.
Students trickle out of the building.
ELLE " .:.
Are you a third-year?
Warner walks up, behind Emmett, interrupting.
WARNER
Hey.
Elle looks up, pure adoration on her face.
ELLE
Hi!
Emmett rises and walks off.
EMMETT
Good luck.
ELLE
(calling after him)
Thanks again for your help!
Warner remains standing, still somewhat uncomfortable with
her presence here.
WARNER
S o -- uh -- how was your first class?
ELLE
Fine. Except for this horrible girl who
made me look bad in front of my Civ Pro
professor. But no biggie. You're here
now.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
36.
42 (3) 42
ELLE (CONT'D)
(perky)
How was your summer?
She pats the bench beside her. He doesn't move.
· WARNER
(distracted)
Good. Good.
ELLE
Do anything exciting?
A female hand snakes around Warner's chest from behind.
Warner turns and brings the owner of the hand around to his
side, presenting her.
WARNER
(nervous)
Urn, hey, have you met Sarah?
Sarah, the horrible girl herself, holds out her hand to Elle,
full of contempt.
SARAH
Hi. Sarah Knottingham.
ELLE
(to Warner; horrified)
· You know her?
WARNER
She 's --
Sarah jumps in. ·
SARAH .
-- I ' m his fiancee.
Elle stares at her. Sarah tucks a piece of her mousy brown
hair behind her ear and there it is -- The Rock.
ELLE
(in disbelief)
I'm sorry, I just hallucinated.
WARNER
Sarah was my girlfriend at prep school.
We got back together over the summer at
my grandmother's birthday party.
Elle looks stricken. Sarah gives her a smug smile.
(CONTINUED)
37.
42 (.4) 42
SARAH
Warner told me all about you. You're
famous at our Club.
She says it in a way that is anything but flattering. In
fact, it's completely condescending.
SARAH (CONT'D)
(continuing; pointedly)
But he didn't tell me you'd be here.
WARNER
I didn't know --
Elle looks from Warner to Sarah.
ELLE
Excuse me.
She rushes off. Sarah watches her go, a smug grin on her
' · · ··
face, ·
SARAH
(to Warner)
I thought you said she was pretty.
43 EXT. STREET/INT. ELLE'S CONVERTIBLE BOXSTER- DAY 43
Elle drives, wiping the tears from her face. She spots
something off to the side and SWERVES her car toward it, a
gasp of hope escaping her lips.
Her car stops in front of a strip mall salon called "Beauty
Oasis".
44 INT. BEAUTY OASIS - DAY 44
A downscale, blue-collar salon, with five hair chairs and two
manicure stations. Old ladies and young waitresses get perms.
PAULETTE --early 40s, lower-middle class, hard-edged, plus-
sirzed -- looks up as a defeated Elle sinks into the manicure
chair.(The manicure station is plastered with pictures of
RUFUS, a big, slobbering pit-bull). ·
PAULETTE
Bad day?
Elle holds out her hands. Paulette dips them into a dish of
soapy water.
ELLE
You can't even imagine.
(CONTINUED)
38.
44 44
PAULETTE
.Spill.,
Elle lets it all out in a rush.
ELLE
I worked really hard to get into law
school -- I blew off Spring Break and
Greek Week to study for the LSATs, I
completely neglected my Homecoming Queen
duties, I hired a Coppola to direct my
admissions video -- all so I could get my
boyfriend Warner back and now he's
engaged to this awful girl Sarah so it
was all for nothing! I wish I ' d never
even come to Harvard.
Paulette dries Elle's hands and begins filing.
PAULETTE
After you went to all that trouble?
ELLE :
Well, what am I supposed to do? He's
engaged! She's got the family six-carat
on her bony, unpolished finger.
PAULETTE
You're asking the wrong girl. I ' m with
my guy eight years and then one day it's
"I met someone else. Move out."
ELLE
(horrified)
What'd you do?
PAULETTE
Cried a lot and gained twenty pounds.
Dewey kept the trailer and my precious
baby Rufus. I got jackcrap.
She looks at a picture of the pit-bull.
PAULETTE (CONT'D)
(continuing; re the dog)
I didn't even get to go to his birthday
party.
ELLE
No!
(CONTINUED)
39.
44 ( 2 ) 44
PAUL ETTE
What could I do?
(shrugging)
He's a man who followed his pecker to
greener pastures. I ' m a middle-aged high-
school dropout with stretch marks and a
fat ass. Happens every day. At least to
women like me.
ELLE . ·
That's terrible!
PAULETTE
So, what's this Sarah got that you don't?
Three tits? -
ELLE
She's from Connecticut. She belongs to
his stupid country club.
PAULETTE
Is she as pretty as you?
Elle looks down.
ELLE
(embarrassed)
I ' m not pretty -- I ' m genetically
blessed.
Paulette rolls her eyes, shaking her bottle of polish and
starting on Elle's right hand.
PA UL ETT E
Is sJie.? "
ELL E
She could use some mascara and some
serious highlights, but she's not
completely unfortunate- looking.
UPS GUY (O.S.)
Hello, ladies.
Paulette looks up to see the UPS GUY, a strapping hunk of a
man in his late 30' s . She blushes and smooths down her hair,
knocking over a bottle of nail polish in the process. Trying
to play it off as she signs for the package.
(CONTINUED)
40.
44 ( 3 ) 44
UPS GUY (CONT'D) .
See ya later.
He goes. Paulette watches him. Elle notices.
PAULETTE
(hating herself) .
Could I be anymore goddamn spastic?
(beat)
So you're sure, this Warner guy is "the
one"?
ELLE
Definitely! I love him!
Paulette looks at her.
PAULETTE
If a girl like you can't hold on to her
man -- then there sure as hell isn't any
hope for the rest of us. What're you
waiting for? Steal the bastard back.
45 INT. DORMITORY - WARNER'S ROOM - DAY 45
Elle knocks on Warner's door, bottle of wine and two glasses
in hand.
ELLE
Warner?
When she gets no answer, she write a message on his memo
board -- CLOSE ON-- "Call me! Love, You Know Who".
She leaves the wine bottle and two glasses and goes.
46 EXT. HARVARD LAW CAMPUS - DAY 46
Elle is in her push-up bikini, reclining in her beach chair,
pink frozen margarita in one hand, Underdog in the other, law
book in her lap, pretending to study.
We PULL BACK to reveal that she's sitting on the sidelines of
a touch-football game that Warner is playing with a group of
other 1-L's.
Warner scores easily because the other male eyes are all on
Elle. He shakes his head and smiles.
41.
47 INT. CRIMINAL LAW CLASS - DAY 47
Elle sits, glaring at Sarah, who keeps waving her "The Rock"
in Elle's direction, as she plays footsie with Warner.
PROFESSOR DONOVAN -- 40s, a big fan of himself, salt and
pepper hair, no time for bullshit -- stands before the class.
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
I should warn you that in addition to
competing against each other for the top
grade in this class, you'll also be
competing for one of my firm's highly
coveted four internship spots next year
where you will get to assist on actual
cases. Let the bloodbath begin. Now,
let's commence with our usual torture --
He looks around.
PROFESSOR DONOVAN (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Ms . Woods --
Sarah and her bitchy, clone-like friend CLAIRE exchange
knowing glances.
SARAH
This should be amusing.
· PROFESSOR DONOVAN
Would you rather have a client who
committed a crime malum in se or malum
prohibitum?
ELLE
Neither.
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
Why not?
ELLE
I'd rather have a client who's innocent.
Elle smiles, proud of her answer. The class snickers. Warner
frowns.
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
. Dare to dream, Ms. Woods. Ms.
Knottingham? Which would you prefer?
(CONTINUED)
42.
47 47
SARAH
Malum prohibitum. Because the client
would've committed a regulatory
infraction as opposed to a dangerous
crime.
Elle raises her hand.
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
Yes? Ms. Woods?
' ELLE ' ..
I changed my mind. I ' d pick the
dangerous one.
She looks pointedly at Sarah.
ELLE (CONT''D)
(continuing)
I ' m not afraid of a challenge.
Sarah glares back at her. Warner looks between the two of
·
them, worried.
48 INT. STUDY LOUNGE - DAY 48
The Harvard Public Interest Law Association meeting is
O underway. Warner .listens intently, A few seats away, Elle
appears to be taking notes.
C L O SE ON--her "notes" -- "I'm free for dinner tonight. Meet
me at The Cask & Flagon at 8."
She folds the note and sticks it in Underdog's mouth, then points
him toward Warner. Humiliated but dutiful, Underdog bounds off.
CLOSE ON -- Underdog, as he carries forth his mission,
arriv ing at Warner's feet. UNDERDOG'S POV -- Warner
discreetly takes the note from him, then looks over at Elle,
who feigns interest in the meeting.
49 INT. CASK & FLAGON RESTAURANT - NIGHT 49
Elle waits for Warner, alone at a table. Checking her watch
to see it's 8:45, she tries not to be sad.
50 INT. HARVARD LAW LIBRARY - DAY 50
Warner and his study group, Sarah and Claire included, sit at
a table, going over their outlines. Elle walks up to the
table, holding a basket of muffins, bright smile on her face.
(CONTINUED)
43.
50 50
ELLE
' I ' m here to join your study group. And
look! I brought sustenance!
She holds up the muffins as the others look up, frowns all
around.
WARNER
(nervously looking at Sarah)
Elle, what're you doing here?
Elle pulls up a chair from another table and holds up a
muffin. '
ELLE
Who's first?
She sits down next to Warner.
SARAH
Our group is full.
ELLE
Oh, God, was this like an RSVP thing?
CLAIRE
No, it's like a smart people thing. And
like Sarah said, we're full.
WARNER
Come on ~ we can make room for one more.
Sarah looks at Warner with evil eyes.
SARAH
We've already assigned the outlines, and
everyone has started theirs',
CLAIRE
(to Warner)
Besides, you wouldn't let the fat guy
_ join.
WARNER
He tried to watch me take'a shower!
Sarah looks at Elle.
SARAH
The answer is no.
Warner looks at her, feeling guilty. He shrugs an "I'm
sorry", but Elle's perkiness has gone.
(CONTINUED)
44.
50 (2) 50
She gathers up her muffins and stands, clutching the basket
to her chest as she goes.
ELLE
Then I guess I'll leave you alone.
She walks away, completely deflated, passing by the RAGING
FEMINIST STUDY GROUP. Enid calls out.
ENID
Maybe there's a sorority you could join
instead.
Elle stops and looks at her.
ELLE
(to Enid)
You know, if you'd come to a Rush party,
I would've at least been nice to you.
ENID
Before you voted against me and called me
a dyke behind my back?
ELLE
I don't use that word. Only mean people
use that word. You must've heard it from
Sarah. .
She looks back at Warner's table and walks off. As she does.,
she's nearly mowed down by a gaggle of NERDS led by DORKY
DAVID, who knock the muffins out of her hands. She stands
there, even more depressed.
51 INT. ELLE'S DORM ROOM - DAY - LATER 51
Elle sinks down onto her bed, deflated. She picks up the
phone and dials.
52 INT. BRIDAL SHOP - DAY 52
Serena, with a new hairdo, and Margot are surrounded by
wedding dresses. Margot talks on her cell phone. We
INTERCUT.
MARGOT
(to Serena)
It's Elle!
(into phone)
Guess what I ' m doing right this second?
ELLE
Power yoga?
(CONTINUED)
45.
52 52
MARGOT
Picking out my wedding dress!
ELLE
· What?!
MARGOT
Josh proposed!
ELLE
(startled)
N o way --
Serena grabs the phone.
SERENA
(into phone)
;;po you have The Rock yet?
Elle lies.
ELLE
Almost.
SERENA
Well, hurry up so you can come home! We
miss you!
ELLE
I miss you guys! The people here are so
vile! Hardly anyone even talks to me
unless it's to say something that's not
nice. Law school sucks!
SERENA
Oh, my God! I completely forgot to tell
you!
ELLE
What?
SERENA
I got bangs!
ELLE
(hurt and annoyed)
Re a ll y --
Margot grabs the phone back.
(CONTINUED)
46.
52 (2) 52
MARGOT :
(into phone)
Keep June first open -- you're one of my
bridesmaids. And give Warner our love.
ELLE
Iwl.
il. . .
Margot hangs up and Elle follows suit. Even more deflated.
53 INT. ELLE'S DORM - HALLWAY - DAY - SAME TIME 53
Sarah and Claire walk past Elle's room, the door of which is
ajar.
SARAH
It's not just any Halloween party. It's a
"Come as Your Favorite Defendant" party.
CLAIRE
That-'s genius.
Elle pops her head out of the room.
ELLE
(excited)
No way! Someone at this school is
actually having a party?
Sarah and Claire turn around. Elle's face falls when she
sees that it's them.
SARAH
No.
CLAIRE
You must've heard us wrong.
SARAH
Sorry. Looks like you'll be staying home
ton ig ht. Alone.
They continue on as Elle goes back into her room, snubbed.
54 INT. ELLE'S DORM ROOM - CONTINUOUS 54
Elle shuts the door behind her and looks at Underdog.
ELLE
I can't believe this. Not only do I not
have Warner, but I ' m --unpopular!
The realization hits her hard. Underdog barks. She looks at him.
·.'.···
(CONTINUED)
47.
54 54
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing)
But I wasn't invited.
He barks again.
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing)
You really think I should?
55 EXT. OFF-CAMPUS HOUSE - PORCH - NIGHT 55
Two feet in high heels and fishnet hose stride purposefully
up the sidewalk. .
A perfect butt wearing a bunny tail wiggles up the steps.
56 INT. OFF-CAMPUS HOUSE - NIGHT 56
A party filled with people who are no fun to party with.
NAMETAGS denote which famous defendant everyone is dressed as.
Menenedez's, Tonya Harding's, and Buttafuco's pepper the room.
Elle, decked out in a Playboy Bunny costume -- looking sexy
as hell -- strides in. People roll their eyes and ignore
her. Elle continues on.
NEARBY -- Enid, dressed as Lizzie Borden, axe in hand/ is in
the midst of a tirade against some guy dressed like William
Kennedy Smith.
ENID
The English language is all about subliminal
domination. Take the word "semester". It's a
perfect example of this school's
discriminatory preference of semen to
ovaries. That's why I ' m petitioning to have
next term be referred to as Winter Ovester.
The guy backs up in fright. As Elle passes, Enid looks over.
ENID (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Hey , Elle-- I've been meaning to ask you
(re her boobs)
-- are those real?
Elle snorts.
ELLE
Enid, please -- silicone is so 90's.
(CONTINUED)
48.
56 56
She keeps walking.
57 INT. INTO THE LIVING ROOM - AT THE BAR -CONTINUOUS 57
Sa rah -- dressed as Hester Prynne -- and Claire --as Joan of
Arc -- sip wine.
ELLE
(continuing; sarcastic)
Thanks for inviting me, girls. This party
is super fun.
They roll their eyes, checking out her Bunny costume.
SARAH
You're supposed to be dressed as a famous
defendant.
Elle smiles at Sarah.
ELLE
I am. Didn't you hear about the Playboy
Bunny who slit her ex- boyfriend's new
fiancee's throat with a broken wine
glass? It was tragic.
She grabs a glass of wine and moves on.
58 EXT. OFF-CAMPUS HOUSE - BACK PORCH - NIGHT 58
Elle walks onto the back porch and finds Warner --dressed as
O.J. in a USC football uniform, number 32, with a ball and
chain on his foot.
ELLE
Hey, O.J.
Warner turns. He looks around for Sarah. Not seeing her, he
smiles at Elle, admiring her costume.
WARNER
Wow. You're a walking felony.
ELLE
Thank you. Having fun?
WARNER
( c h e c k i n g her out)
Now I am.
(CONTINUED)
49.
58 58
ELLE
(flirty)
I feel like we've barely spent any time
together since we got here.
WARNER
That's because I spend all my time with
case studies and hypos.
ELLE
Tell me about it. I can't imagine doing
all this and Donovan's internship next
year.
WARNER
(scoffing)
Elle, c'mon, there's no way you'll get
the grades to qualify for one of those
spots . You're not smart enough.
She can't believe he's saying this. He realizes he's gone
too far, and back-pedals.
WARNER (CONT'D)
(continuing)
I didn't mean --
ELLE
(cutting him off)
Am I on glue, or did I not get into the
same law school you did, Warner?
WARNER
(covering)
We ll , yeah, but --
ELLE
But what? We took the same LSAT, we take
th e same classes --
WARNER
I just don't want to see you get your
hopes up. You know how you get.
She stares at him. Realizing the awful truth.
ELLE
I'11 never be good enough for you, will
I?
When he doesn't answer, she walks back into the house.
50.
59 INT. OFF-CAMPUS HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT -SAME TIME 59
One of them holds a salad
A group of tipsy ILs stand around.
bowl filled with cash.
ENID
I give her two more weeks.
She throws a twenty into the bowl. ' ·. .
DORKY DAVID
Two and a half?
He throws in his twenty as well.
SARAH
If she spreads her legs, maybe --
ARROGANT AARON
(adjusting his crotch)
Only if I ' m feeling generous.
ELLE (O.S.)
What is this?
They turn around to find Elle standing there.
CLAIRE
We're betting on how much longer you're
going to last.
ELLE
(stung)
What?
SARAH
Look around, Elle. Do you actually think
you belong here?
They all stare at her.
ELLE
(hurt)
Why wouldn't I?
ENID
Because the rest of us provide some
worthwhile value to society?
ARROGANT AARON
Hold on, now -- every society needs a
bimbo. Who are we supposed to sleep with
after we get rich?
(CONTINUED)
51.
59 59
Elle looks like she's been slapped. The others laugh at
Aaron's esteemed wit.
ELLE
You know what? All of you can just kiss
my ass.
She yanks off her Bunny tail and throws it at them. Hurt and
anger in her eyes. Then walks out of the room.
' ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing; to herself)
You're about to see just how valuable
Elle Woods can be.
She stomps out of the house.
A GIRL-POWER SONG STARTS TO PLAY AS A MONTAGE BEGINS:
60 INT. HARVARD BOOKSTORE - NIGHT 60
A hot pink laptop is yanked off the shelf.
CUT TO:
Elle, still in her Bunny suit, minus the tail, stands in
line, paying for the laptop. People gape at her, but she's
oblivious in her resolve.
EMMETT walks up behind her in line. He clears his throat,
trying not to look at her costume.
Elle turns, seeing him.
ELLE
Don't ask.
EMMETT
Wasn't gonna. -
She marches off. Laptop in hand.
61 INT. ELLE'S DORM ROOM - NIGHT 61
A pony-tailed Elle types a brief, coffee next to her.
Underdog sleeps nearby, belly-up. Legs twitching in a
nightmare. Typing furiously, Elle breaks a nail, then
struggles to forge on, despite her instinct to stop and
repair it.
52.
62 INT. LAW LIBRARY - DAY 62
Elle -- arms full of books -- walks past the Warner/Sarah
study group. Sarah and Claire scowl at her, but Elle passes
with her head held high.
63 INT. STUDY LOUNGE - DAY 63
Enid is surrounded by study materials and notecards. When
she gets up to use the ladies' room, Elle casually walks over
and slips a notecard into the middle of Enid's stack. Then
quickly walks on. '
64 INT. BEAUTY OASIS - DAY 64
Pau lett e quizzes Elle from a law textbook as her nails dry.
As she waits for Elle's answer, Paulette showers Underdog
with kisses, showing him pictures of Rufus.
65 INT. CRIMINAL LAW CLASS - DAY .. 65
Donovan is in the midst of a lecture. He points at Elle.
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
And the purpose of "diminished capacity"
is?
She swallows nervously, then speaks.
ELLE
To negate mens rea?
Donovan nods affirmatively and continues. Elle hides a
smile.
66 INT. LAW LIBRARY - NIGHT 66
Elle reaches for a book on a high shelf, but she's not tall
enough. She tries a running start and leaps for it. Still
missing it.
FROM THE LEFT, she runs and leaps again, missing again.
FROM THE RIGHT, she runs and leaps again, missing again.
Dorky David walks up and sets down a step-stool at her: feet.
Now winded, she smiles her thanks, stepping up to retrieve
her book.
53.
67 INT. STUDY LOUNGE - DAY 67
Enid flips through her notecards, memorizing, when she comes
upon a picture of a NAKED MAN. Oh, the horror. She throws it
down in disgust as if her eyes have been burned.
Looking around, Enid sees Elle smiling and waving at her from
across the room.
68 INT. LAW LIBRARY - DAY 68
Elle walks past Arrogant Aaron, as he sleeps at his study
cubicle, head back on the chair.
She stops, backs up, and waves her hand over his face. When
he doesn't stir, she takes a magic marker out of her knapsack
and leans over to write something on his forehead.
INT. ELLE1S DORM ROOM - DAY
69 69
Elle works out on her Elliptical Crosstrainer as she listens
to a lecture tape and watches Court TV on mute.
LECTURER (V.O.)
"A failure to act can constitute the actus reus for
accomplice liability if the defendant has the legal duty to
intervene, but fails to do so."
70 INT. LAW LIBRARY - DAY 70>
Arrogant Aaron wakes up with a start, checks his watch, and
rushes off to class. Oblivious to his facial graffiti, which
we can't yet read.
71 INT. CIVIL PROCEDURES CLASS - DAY 71
Professor Stromwell is in front of the class.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL
So you've filed a claim. Now what?
She looks over to see Elle sitting there, typing on her
laptop.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL (CONT'D)
(continuing)
Ms. Woods?
ELLE
Don't you also need to have evidence?
(CONTINUED)
54.
71 71
PROFESSOR STROMWELL
Meaning?
Everyone now stares at Elle.
'ELLE
Meaning you need -- reasonable belief
that your claim would have, like,
evidentiary support?
Stromwell is somewhat impressed, but doesn't show it.
PROFESSOR STROMWELL
And what kind of evidentiary support does
this case require? Let's ask Mr.
Harriman, who clearly believes that I
might be hungry.
She looks up at Arrogant Aaron in the back row. Who
unknowingly has "Eat Me" written on his forehead. He looks
back at her, confused, as the students around him snicker.
72 EXT. BEAUTY OASIS - NIGHT 72
A "Closed" sign is on the door.
THROUGH THE WINDOW, we see Elle and Paulette sitting in the
empty salon, laughing and clinking cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon
as they toast Elle's small victory. We PULL BACK, leaving
them laughing, as the MONTAGE ENDS.
73 INT. CRIMINAL LAW CLASS - DAY 73
"THE STATE V. LATIMER" is written on the board. A pony-
tailed, less made-up Elle takes notes on her lap-top, as
Warner makes an argument.
WARNER
. According to Swinney v. Neubert, Swinney,
who was also a private sperm donor, was
allowed visitation rights as long as he
came to terms with the hours set forth by
the parents. So, if we're sticking to
past precedent, Mr. Latimer wasn't
st al ki ng -- he was clearly within his
rights to ask for visitation.
PROFESSOR DONQVAN
But Swinney was a one-time sperm donor,
and in our case, the defendant was a
habitual sperm donor, who also happens to
be harassing the parents in his quest for
visitation.
(CONTINUED)
55.
73 "73
WARNER
But , without this man's sperm --the
child in question would not exist.
He grins and looks around as the class murmurs their
agreement.
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
Now you're thinking like a lawyer.
EMMETT enters from the back, holding a file. He stands there
quietly, watching. ·
Elle tentatively raises her hand.
PROFESSOR DONOVAN (CONT'D)
Ms. Woods?
Sarah looks at Claire.
SARAH
(sotto)
The idiot speaks.
ELLE
Although Mr. Huntington makes an
excellent point, I have to wonder if the
defendant kept a thorough record of each
sperm emission made throughout his life?
The class titters. Elle grows annoyed.
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
(bemused)
Why do you ask?
Elle's hesitancy is replaced by conviction.
ELLE
Well, unless the defendant attempted to
contact every single one-night- stand to
determine if a child resulted in those
unions -- then he has no parental claim
whatsoever over this child. Why this
s p e rm ? Why now? '
Emmett's mouth twitches into a smile.
(CONTINUED)
56.
73 (2) 73
ELLE (CONT'D)
(continuing)
For that matter, all masturbatory
emissions where his sperm was clearly not
seeking an egg could be termed reckless
abandonment.
Warner's mouth hangs open. As does Sarah's and the rest of
the class. Donovan smiles.
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
I believe you've just won your case.
Elle grins. :
74 INT. DONOVAN'S CLASS - LATER 74
As the students file out, Elle passes Donovan.
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
You did well today.
She stops.
ELLE
I did?
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
You're applying for my internship, aren't
you?
ELLE
I don ' t know --
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
You should. Do you have a resume?
ELLE
(excited)
" ··'.' . · ·. . . i do. ' ' , .''. ·' . . · ; . .
She pulls a resume out of her briefcase and hands it to him..
He looks at it. ·
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
It's pink.
ELLE
And engraved... Gives it that extra
little something, doesn't it? .
(smiling)
See you tomorrow!
(CONTINUED)
. 57.
74 74
She walks on. Emmett walks up, handing the file to Donovan.
EMMETT
I brought you the Windham notes.
PROFESSOR DONOVAN
(watching Elle go)
You think she just woke up one morning
and said, "I think I'll go to law school
today!"?
Ei timett looks after Elle, bemused.
EMMETT
Aside from that lapse in judgement --
she's got potential.
75 INT. ELLE'S CAR-DAY 75
Elle drives. Paulette is shotgun. ·
PAULETTE
You showed up Warner in class? You're
supposed to be showing up Sarah.
ELLE
I couldn't help it! It was the most fun
I've had since I've been in law school.
Not only was I good enough for Warner --
I was better than him. He has to see
serious I am now. Even Donovan was
impressed, and he's a total hard- ass.
Elle stops the car and turns off the ignition.
ELLE (CONT'D)
You ready?
PAULETTE ·
.
No. '
·
ELLE
Yes, you are. Go -- you can do this. .
She points ahead of them. Paulette goes.
76 EXT. DEWEY'S TRAILER - DAY . 76
The door opens. DEWEY(40s) and his beer gut emerge.
Paulette is on the porch. Trying to exude confidence, but
failing.
(CONTINUED)
9/172000 Revision (Blue) 58.
16 76
DEWEY
(to Paulette)
What the hell do yon want? We're eating
dinner.
PAULETTE
I just --
DEWEY |
