REPO MAN
Written by
Alex Cox
Transcript by
Steve Farmer
Repo Man theme music now begins playing. Map is shown in background
(green text on black background), zoomed in on Los Alamos, New
Mexico. While remaining credits are shown, the map travels to
Sante Fe, then Albuquerque, then begins following US66 west through
Arizona to California, finally ending up a few miles east of
Goffs (northwest of Needles).
Green '64 Chevy Malibu
Malibu is weaving down the highway in the desert, passes billboard
with motorcycle cop behind it. Cop pulls out behind Malibu.
J. FRANK PARNELL
Forty-niner and his daughter Clementine.
Oh my darlin, oh my darlin...
Motorcycle cop pulls the car over, gets off motorcycle and raps
on car window.
J. FRANK PARNELL
Clementine Clemen-
COUNTY SHERIFF
Let me see your drivers license.
RADIO
Post ten-eighteen. Post ten-eighteen.
COUNTY SHERIFF
From out of town, hmm? What's you got
in the trunk?
J. FRANK PARNELL
oah...you don't want to look in there.
COUNTY SHERIFF
Give me the keys.
The motorcycle cop walks around to the back of the car and opens
the trunk. The car has New Mexico license plates KBB-283. In
every scene after this when the plates are visible, they will
be 127-GBH.
COUNTY SHERIFF
AHHHHHH!
The motorcycle cop gets disintegrated, leaving behind a pair
of flaming boots (a reference to the movie Timerider, which was
co-written and produced by Mike Nesmith). Parnell watches from
side mirror, where we see that the left side of his sunglasses
have no lens.
J. FRANK PARNELL
Oh my darlin Clementine, you are lost
now gone forever, dreadful sorry Clementine.
Otto and Kevin, in the supermarket, facing cans of generic yellow
cling sliced peaches.
KEVIN
Do Do Do De Do De Do De Do De Do Feeling
Do De Da Do De Do De Do Feeling seven-up.
I'm feeling seven-up. Feeling seven
up. I'm feeling seven up. It's a crisp
refreshing feeling crystal clear and
light. America's drinking seven-up and
it sure feels right. Feeling lucky seven.
Otto puts price sticker on Kevin's glasses.
OTTO
Kevin stop singing man.
KEVIN
Feeling seven eleven.
KEVIN
Hum. I wasn't singing guy.
OTTO
I'm standing right next to you and you're
fucking (flippin) singing. Cut it out.
KEVIN
Jeeze. Why so tense guy?
MR. HUMPHRIES
Otto?
KEVIN
Mister Humphries!
MR. HUMPHRIES
You were late again this morning. Now
normally I'd let it go but it's been
brought to my attention that you're
not paying attention to the way you
space the cans. Many young men of your
age in these uncertain times-
MR. HUMPHRIES
Otto! Are you paying attention to me?
LOUIE
Hey! He's talking to you!
Kevin chuckles
Otto grabs Kevin by the front of his shirt, steps around him,
and pushes him into the stack of cans (this has been described
as a goof but it's clearly just a case of awkward staging used
to make the shot work).
Louie pulls his gun.
LOUIE
(Basta!)
KEVIN
You gotta love getting fired from your
job in a big way, Otto.
MR. HUMPHRIES
What are you laughing at? Louie, throw
him out too.
LOUIE
Come on you worm. Get out of here.
Louie shoves Kevin down aisle where Otto is walking out. Otto
takes off his clip-on bow tie and tosses it back towards Louie.
Louie twirls his gun and puts it away. Note that the store aisle
is lined with nothing but generic products, plain black lettering
on white background. All products in movie from now on will have
this appearance.
Punks slamdancing to Coup D'etat in the back of a warehouse.
Otto is there slamdancing and Duke walks up, the two of them
swing each other around. Behind them, the graffiti on the wall
says "Circle Jerks", a band which will appear later in the movie.
OTTO
How you doing dude? When did you get
out of the slammer man?
Otto enters bedroom where Debbi is waiting in bed.
DEBBI
What's the difference? ]
OTTO
Huh?
Otto lays back on the bed and puts his hands behind his head.
OTTO
okay
Debbi pulls back his shirt a little and begins kissing his stomach,
then stops.
DEBBI
Otto. Otto.
OTTO
What?
DEBBI
Get me another beer.
Otto goes downstairs and there's a party going on. Institutionalized
plays in background.
KEVIN
Ow. Cool. Ow. Dammit. I'm supposed to
be the host here.
KEVIN
Ow!
Otto returns to the bedroom
OTTO
Debbi honey. I got you a beer.
Otto turns on light and finds Duke there with Debbi.
[OTTO
Shit.
DEBBI
Just ignore him Duke he's nothing but
a big baby.
DUKE
Turn the fucking light out.]
Otto leaves room just as Kevin arrives and looks in the door.
KEVIN
What are you doing? Nobody supposed
to be up here. This is my parent's room.
Dude, nobody supposed to be up here,
this is my parent's room.)
[Otto in a vacant lot drinking a beer.
It's early morning and Otto starts walking.
OTTO
Don't want to talk about anything else.
We don't want to know. We're just dedicated...to
our favorite shows. Saturday night live,
Monday night football, Dallas, Jeffersons,
Gilligan's island, Flintstones. ]
Otto still walking, but it's light now.
Bud pulls up next to him in a blue sedan.
BUD
Hey kid! (Honk) Hey! Hey kid! Hey! Hey!
Are you hard of hearing?
OTTO
What do you want?
BUD
You want to make ten bucks?
OTTO
Fuck you, queer.(Shove off, pervert)
BUD
Now waita minute wait a minute kid you
got the wrong idea. Look my old lady
is real sick and I got to get her to
the hospital, okay?
OTTO
So what? Take her there.
BUD
I can't. I can't leave her car in this
bad area. Look I need some helpful soul
to drive it for me, okay? She's pregnant.
She's with twins. She could drop at
any time. All right?
OTTO
Well, uh, how much are you going to
give me?
BUD
Fifteen bucks.
OTTO
No. Won't do it for less than twenty.
BUD
Twenty-five. Follow me in my old lady's
car. It’s right here. okay?
OTTO
All right... Where's, uh, where's your
old lady at?
BUD
Never mind about that. Right now we
need to get both of my cars out of this
bad area, allright? Come on.
Otto gets in the car, a white 4 door Cutlass sedan.
FROM THE APARTMENT
(baby crying) Papa! (?) aqui. un gringo
(en la calle con su coche)
BUD
Let's go.
Bud and Otto drive down freeway, Chevy Malibu swerves in front
of them. It is moving right across the lanes but has the left
blinker on.
Bud and Otto enter the Helping Hand Acceptance Corporation
(Marlene talks on phone simultaneously with other conversations).
MARLENE
Helping hand acceptance corporation,
Marlene speaking.
REPO VICTIM
You know damn straight what I'm talking
about. It's sitting right out side.
It took me two weeks to get this money
up so I can come and get it.
MARLENE
I don't think so sir you'll have to
call back. I'll call you back O.K.?
OLY
That ain't your car.
REPO VICTIM'S GIRL
Hey don't let him lie to you like that.
Unh?
MARLENE
Thanks Bud.
REPO VICTIM
Are you going to give me my car or do
I got to go to your house and shove
your dog's head down the toilet.
MARLENE
Helping hand acceptance corporation
Marlene speaking.
PLETTSCHNER
Take it easy sonny boy.
REPO VICTIM'S GIRL
Shut up rent-a-cop.
OLY
Best goddamn (gol-durn) car on the lot.
REPO VICTIM
You damn right it is.
MARLENE
Will you, Will you hold please?
MARLENE
Helping hand acceptance corporation
Marlene speaking.
REPO VICTIM
Say moma what's happening? You want
to take a lift?
MARLENE
No thank you. L.A.P.D. I wanted to report
a repo in Boro heights area.
REPO VICTIM'S GIRL
Let's go.
The Repo victim and his girl leave
PLETTSCHNER
A Cadillac. Is he a pimp?
BUD
Shut up Plettschner.
MARLENE
Bud what street was that car on?
BUD
Honey I don't know, some alley uh. Hey
kid!
OTTO
What?
BUD
Hey what street was the Cutlass on?
OTTO
I don't know. What happened to your
old lady?
MARLENE
They don't know I'll call you back.
MARLENE
Helping hand acceptance corporation
Marlene speaking.
BUD
My old lady? Oh shit (shoot)! I forgot
all about her. Well she'll take the
bus. She's a rock.
MARLENE
What kind of car? What kind of car?
BUD
Hey come on in. Marlene! Marlene!
MARLENE
Can you hold?
OLY
Got a name kid?
OTTO
Yeah! It's Otto.
OLY
Otto! Otto parts? HAHAHA
The phone rings and Oly answers
Marlene is talking on the phone, but a continuous cut now shows
her holding a pencil in both hands.
MARLENE
You got a drivers license honey?
OLY ON THE PHONE
Oh Yeah! Fuckin-a (flippin right) we
ripped your car. Asshole (airhead)!
MARLENE
Let me see it.
OLY ON THE PHONE
You want to know who told us where it
was? Your goddamn (gol-durned) brother.
MARLENE
Are you really twenty-one?
OTTO
That's what it says doesn't it.
OLY
Hey you want some help with that beer
kid?
OTTO
You're all repo men.
OLY
What if we are?
Otto pours the beer on the floor.
BUD
You know kid, uhh, usually when someone
pulls shit (stuff) like that my first
reaction is uhh I want to punch his
fucking (flippin) lights out.
BUD
But you know something?
BUD AND OLY
You're all right!
BUD
Right Lite?
Lite enters
LITE
Got any messages for me baby?
MARLENE
Yeah. Here you go.
OLY
Cracks me up.
LITE
Somebody pissed (puked) on the floor
again?
OLY
Maybe he's looking for a job? Huh budsky?
BUD
Could be? What do you say kid were always
on the look out for a few good men.
OTTO
Screw (stuff) that! Ain't going to be
no repo man. No way!
Otto out in the yard with Miller
MILLER
You find one in every car. You'll see.
Back in the desert
We begin scene looking through the windshield of a police motorcycle.
The windshield of the police motorcycle naturally has a pine
tree air freshener hanging from it. We see some people searching
around in the desert, most of them in radiation suits, with a
local sheriff following a woman in a business suit.
RADIO
Come in Officer Labeef do you read me?
RADIO
Chuck will you stop fooling around?
SHERIFF
I've never seen the like of that.
RADIO
I have the stats on that car Officer
Labeef.
RADIO
Ten-forty Baker
SHERIFF
What could have done that to him? Gasoline?
Napalm?
AGENT ROGERSZ
It happens sometimes. People just explode.
Natural causes.
SHERIFF
What?
Suspect presence on west coast confirmed
44% possibility Los Angeles
Locate immediately
Do not notify police
AGENT ROGERSZ
Suspect presence on west coast confirmed.
Do not notify police.
Otto and Kevin on a porch in the rain
OTTO
Night watchman in Pomona.
KEVIN
Yep.
OTTO
Asbestos worker. City of industry.
KEVIN
Yep Yep!
OTTO
French fry maker Agoura. Ha Ha that's
absurd.
KEVIN
Yeah? Well you think it's funny huh?
There's fucking (lots of) room to move
as a fry cook, man. You know I could
be manager in two years? King! God!
(egad!)
OTTO
You know Kevin, I had this wild fucking
(flippin) dream the other night.
KEVIN
I bet.
OTTO
It was with you and me and we were working
in this sleazy shithole (shabby) motel
down in Miami, Florida. And we were
bellhops and we were sixty-five years
old. It was so real it was really real,
realistic.
KEVIN
And then what, you woke up in a puddle
(cold sweat)?
OTTO
Fuck you! (drop dead)
KEVIN
Fucking (you) jerk.
Otto stands up and starts to walk away.
KEVIN
Where you going asshole (snotnose)?
OTTO
Away from you.
Otto gets off the Edge City #127 bus and comes home. Mom and
Dad are watching TV
NOTE
Edge City, also the name of the film's
production company, is a recurring theme
in Tom Wolfe's "Electric Kool-Ade Acid
Test".
OTTO
Mother, father. Got anything to eat?
REVEREND LARRY
Occasionally we get a letter from a
viewer that says now the only reason
Reverend Larry comes on your television
set is because he wants your money.
And do you know what? They're right!
I do want your money. Because god wants
your money. So I want you to go out
and mortgage that home and sell that
car and send me your money. You don't
need that car. (continues in background)
OTTO MOM
Put it on a plate son you'll enjoy it
more.
OTTO
I couldn't enjoy it any more mom MMM
MMM MMM This is swell.
OTTO
Dad? Hey Dad?
OTTO DAD
What is it son?
OTTO
Do you remember that you once told me
along time ago. Well not too long ago
but ummm. That you told me that you'd
give me a thousand dollars to go to
Europe if I finish school. Well you
know something? You were right. About
finishing school that's ah that's what
I'd like to do. But umm I want to know
if I could have the money first. Like
now. [You know I really love you Dad
I've always loved you. You too mom.
What do you say?
OTTO DAD
I don't have it anymore.
OTTO
What?]
OTTO MOM
You father gave all our extra money
to the Reverend's telethon, Otto.
OTTO
Well what about me?
OTTO DAD
You're on the honor roll of the chariots
of fire. Same as us, Otto. It was a
gift. From all of us jointly.
OTTO MOM
We're sending bibles to El Salvador.
Otto and Bud riding in Bud's car
Jazz music plays on the radio. In almost all scenes inside of
Bud's car, Jazz music will be playing on the radio.
In this sequence the background changes from day to night, back
to day, and back to night again (during the speed snorting scene)
even though the dialog seems continuous. I believe that this
was done intentionally to show the passage of time, but the disjointed
events are cut so smoothly as to make it seem like they goofed
the continuity. It's clearer in the TV version where there truly
is a break between the line about speed and the actual snorting.
OTTO
So how much do I get paid, twenty-five
buck a car.
BUD
Paid? You don't get paid. Are you kidding,
you work on commission, that's better
than getting paid.
BUD
Most cars you rip are worth two or three
hundred dollars. Fifty thousand dollar
Porsche (german pronounciation) might
make ya five grand.
BUD
It helps if you dress like a detective,
too. Detectives dress kind of square.
People think this guy is a cop. They're
going to think you're packing something.
They don't fuck (mess) with you so much.
OTTO
Are you?
BUD
Am I what?
OTTO
Packin' something.
BUD
Ha. Only an asshole (a jackass) gets
killed for a car. Guys who make it are
the guys who get into their cars at
anytime. Get in at three A.M. get up
at four. That's why there ain't a repo
man I know that don't take speed.
OTTO
Speed huh?
Bud at payphone
Bud is talking on phone.
BUD
I'll call you back! (hangs up) Flippin
general telephone.
Bud picks up phone and dials. Phone begins making a loud whining
noise.
Bud gets sledgehammer from car and destroys phone while Otto
watches. When Bud is done, Otto gets crowbar from car and beats
side of phone with it while laughing.
BUD
C'mon.
Otto and Bud in car in alley
(In the television version, this entire scene takes place while
watching Bud's car drive down a road, but you can still hear
the snorting in the background.)
[BUD SNORTING A LINE
Jesus Christ.]
BUD
Never broke into a car. Never hot-wired
a car. Kid. I never broke into a trunk.
I shall not cause harm to any vehicle
nor the personal contents thereof. Nor
through inaction let that vehicle or
the personal contents thereof come to
harm. That's what I call the repo code
kid. Don't forget it etch it in your
brain. Not many people got a code to
live by anymore.
BUD
Hey! Hey look at that. Look at those
assholes (that) over there.
We see a group of people around a tow truck with a car being
hooked up to it.
BUD
Ordinary people I hate 'em.
OTTO
Me too.
BUD
What do you know? See an ordinary person
spend his life avoiding tense situations.
Repoman spends his life getting into
tense situations. ! Lets go get a drink.
Otto and Bud in a store
Bud sets 2 six packs of "drink" down on the counter.
BUD
Tense situations kid. Get into five
or six of them a day and it don't mean
shit (zilch) anymore. I mean I seen
men stabbed and it didn't mean shit
(zilch). I've seen guns. Guns too they
don't mean shit (zilch) but that's when
you got to watch your self. Here I'll
handle it pal. Uh settle down.
BUD
Have a nice day. Or night. Night, day,
it doesn't mean shit (zilch).
Duke, Archie, and Debbi rise from behind counter as Otto and
Bud leave.
DUKE
Wasn't that Otto?
DEBBI
Otto who?
DUKE
You gotta watch yourself. (takes off
mask) Have a nice day . . . night.
Parnell drives Malibu across bridge
Otto and Bud in front of house with tow truck
BUD
This is what I call phase 2 ace. If
the dealer don't have the keys, you
call the truck. And it is a heartbreak
to be sitting waiting for the truck
and the giblet comes out and drives
it away. Once you've got this baby on
the hooks, she's all ours.
Man comes out of house with shaving cream on face.
PAKMAN
Oh no you don't. I'm nipping this in
the bud right now. You are not going
to take this car. I know my rights.
There is absolutely no way you're going
to take it.
BUD
Uh, are you miss Luann Pakman?
PAKMAN
Obviously not. I'm Arthur Pakman. Luann
is my daughter. Now you're going to
have to take this matter up with her.
BUD
Well don't think I haven't tried, sir,
but she hasn't had the decency to call
us in months. I mean, I've skipped trace
this car all over town.
PAKMAN
Well, uh, Luann is sick. Now the damn
car isn't working anyway, and I know,
I know that's why she hasn't paid you.
BUD
Well, she could have called us? Look,
all you've go to do is call my branch
manager, I will abide with whatever
he says.
Bud hands Pakman a business card.
PAKMAN READING CARD
I. G. Farben. . . What do you take me
for, a moron? If I go in there, you're
going to take this car away.
BUD
What, and lose my job? The law requires
that I stay right here until you call
my branch manager.
PAKMAN
That's the law?
BUD
That's the law.
Pakman begins walking toward house.
PAKMAN
I'll be right back.
Pakman goes inside and Bud and Otto leave with the car as Pakman
comes running back out of the house.
Otto and Bud driving down a waterway
BUD
There's going to be some bad shit (stuff)
coming down one of these days kid.
OTTO
Oh yeah? Where you going to be? On the
moon?
BUD
Ung Uh, I'm going to be right here heading
north at a hundred and ten per.
OTTO
In this junker?
The Rodriguez brothers pull up along side of them in a red convertible
with black fuzzy dice hanging from the rear view mirror. Latino
music plays on the radio.
OTTO
Cool car.
BUD
Uh Oh! The Rodriguez brothers.
[Lagarto flips them off
OTTO
Motherfucker just flipped you off.
BUD
Roll the window down.] Roll the window
down.
LAGARTO
A donde vas, pendejo?
BUD
A chingas tu esposa!
A BROTHER
Hey Bud, hey Bud, who's your new girlfriend?
OTTO
Watch it mother fucker. (Girlfriend?
watch it melonfarmer!)
LAGARTO
Hey fuck you pussy punk. (flip you,
you punk.)
[OTTO
Holy shit.]
NAPOLEON
Want me to take them?
OTTO
Wo! Hey!
They chase each other and end up sliding out in a huge puddle.
In one shot during the chase, Lagarto is missing from the passenger's
seat.
BUD
God damn dipshit Rodriguez gypsy dildo
punks. I'll get your ass!
dang blamed dumb suck Rodriguez gypsy
devil punks. I'll get your can!)
OTTO
HAHAHA WOW! That was intense.
BUD
Repo man's always intense. Come on let's
go get a drink.
OTTO
Gee bud. You never told me it was going
to be like this man. Cops and robbers.
Hahahahah. Real live car chases. Hahahahah.
Duke, Archie and Debbi leaving a liquor store they just robbed
Archie has a bag over his head. Debbi accidentally fires gun
into the air.
ARCHIE
Shit (shoot)! Debbi!
DUKE
If you say our names we'll have to kill
all these people Archie.
ARCHIE
They all ran away.
DEBBI
Come on you douche bags. (come on, get
the lead out.)
They run out, Archie's bag flying off his head. Bud and Otto
enter just after they leave.
BUD
Awful quiet in here. It's too quiet.
OTTO
So who are these Rodriguez boys.
BUD
Rodriguez brothers. Lagarto and Napoleon.
Two notorious delinquents currently
responsible for at least thirty vehicles
in the field.
Quick shot of Rodriguez brothers in car lot signing papers on
a car. Although not made entirely clear in the movie, Lagarto
and Napoleon apparently will buy an inexpensive car and pay for
it in order to establish a good credit rating. Then they go out
and buy nice cars and never make payments on them.
Lite and Otto in Lite's car
OTTO
Scumbags
LITE
They ain't scumbags. They car thieves
just like use.
LITE
There's Miss Magruder. You want to go
for it?
Lite hands Otto a bag. Otto looks inside and laughs.
OTTO
Good gag, you pull this one a lot?
LITE
Only on the women. It never fails.
OTTO
Excuse me? Miss Magruder? I have something
here for you.
Otto takes dead rat from bag and tosses it into Ms. Magruder's
car
MS. MAGRUDER
Uhm how utterly charming.
Ms. Magruder sprays Otto in the face with mace
OTTO
Ow! Ow! Ow! Motherfucker! (mother...)
Ow! Ow! Ow! Christ! I'm blind man. Lite?
Lite, where are you man?
Otto and Bud outside a Laundromat
BUD
Ruthside Peason brokerage consultant.
Fucking (flippin) millionaire six payments
behind. I've never understood it.
OTTO
What's that?
BUD
The fucking (flippin) millionaires.
They never pay their bills. See you
at the yard.
OTTO
Let me get this one.
BUD
No. I'll handle this one. Mister Peason
is carrying a permit for a pistol.
Otto grabs the slimjim and gets out of the car
BUD
Hey! Hey! Hey! Give me that.
OTTO
Don't underestimate me ace.
RUTHSIDE PEASON
And also, naturally, I'd like them to
be right next to each other. In addition
I'd like them to be as close to the
window as possible so I can sit in my
car and watch my things. So all you
have to do is take your clothes out
of here like this and put them into
a machine over there like that.
Peason Sees Otto driving off with the car.
RUTHSIDE PEASON
Oh my god (lord)! Oh! Oh my god (lord)!
Stop!
Peason runs out door after car. Two kids grab Peason's clothes
and throw them out the door.
Otto driving the car, a red Cadillac
Car radio plays Pablo Picasso. Otto sees Leila running on the
sidewalk and slows down while watching her.
OTTO
Hey! Hey! You want a ride? Hey babe
need a ride?
Otto runs into some garbage cans, stops and gets out just as
an old lady walks up.
OLD LADY
Pick it up! Look at you. You pick it
up. You know yourself you were wrong.
OTTO
Well what were they doing out in the
middle of the street?
OLD LADY
They weren't in the middle of the street.
That not the middle of the street that's
the corner.
OLD LADY
Go on you pick it up.
OTTO
What?
OLD LADY
You pick it up.
OTTO
Haha, no way. You still want a ride
or what?
OLD LADY
No I don't.
Leila and Otto drive off in the car
OTTO
My name is Otto.
LEILA
Leila. Is this your car?
OTTO
Yeah it's one of them.
LEILA
Heh, one of them? You think you're pretty
slick don't ya? I bet you're a used
car salesman.
OTTO
I am not.
LEILA
You dress like one.
OTTO
I'm a repo man.
LEILA
What's that?
OTTO
It’s a repossesser. I take back cars
from dildos (deadbeats) who don't pay
their bills. Cool huh?
Hombre Secreto plays on car radio.
LEILA
No.
Leila hides as a car with two men pulls up next to them
OTTO
What are you doing?
LEILA
Those men in the car next to us don't
look at them. Don't look at them! If
they see me they'll kill me.
OTTO
Really why?
OTTO
Ow! What the hell are you doing?
OTTO
What's going on?
LEILA
Take a look at this.
Leila shows Otto a picture of condoms, filled with water and
wearing grass skirts. We notice that she is wearing a yellow
happy face watch.
OTTO
What's this? It looks like sausage.
LEILA
It isn't sausage Otto. That's a picture
of four dead aliens.
OTTO
HAHAHAH
LEILA
Laugh away fuckface (fatface) that picture
is going to be on the cover of ever
major newspaper in two days time.
OTTO
How do you know that?
LEILA
Part of a secret network. A scientist
who is also in our secret sect smuggled
the corpses off of this air force base.
Now he's got them in the truck of his
car. It's a Chevy Malibu. We've got
to find him.
OTTO
What are you going to do with them,
put them on Johnny Carson?
LEILA
Yes! We're going to have a press conference
and tell the world.
RADIO
Ehw. What's that? I don't know dear.
But it is alive. It seems friendly though.
Aw look it's curled up. How cute oh
no. Maybe we can take it home it doesn't
seem to have any. Oh yes let's. But
no! No matter how appealing do not let
strange creature in you house. We all
know strange creatures are on the increase.
Many of them do seem furry and adorable,
but beware we don't know from whence
they came. Be safe. Be safe. Report
strange incidences today. (continues
in background)
They pull up in front of a building
OTTO
United fruitcake outlet.
LEILA
My door doesn't open.
Otto lets Leila out
LEILA
Thanks for the ride.
As Leila stands there, we notice she has a yellow happy face
pin on her dress.
OTTO
Sure Ummm I don't know. what do you
think? Ah want to go out with me again
sometime?
LEILA
I don't know. I'm going to be kind of
busy with work, the Malibu and everything.
OTTO
Hey great. Terrific. Here's your shit
(stuff).
LEILA
What's your problem? I mean girls might
like you if you lightened up a little
bit.
OTTO
Fuck (Flip me). Girls pay to go out
with me. All right?
LEILA
You wanna get back in the car?
OTTO
What, here?
LEILA
Yeah.
Squeals are heard from the back seat of the car
Back at the Helping Hand Acceptance Corporation
OLY
Twenty thousand dollars for a Chevy
Malibu?
OLY
Who's double X finance?
MARLENE
Store front operation, but the money
is in escrow.
MARLENE
Want me to notify the boys?
OLY
Uh, naw. They're always bitching (crying)
about their case load. I think I'll
go out for a while.
MARLENE
Why? We out of beer?
OLY
Somebody has to work around here. Keep
making me money kid.
OTTO
Fuck (flip) you.
Otto and Lite out in the field
LITE
Man we've been looking for this little
red devil for a long time. Just act
natural. Nobody knows if it’s your car
or somebody elses car.
LITE
Now you work with that. You give it
a try. All right?
LITE
Let me give you a hand we don’t have
a whole year to find it boy.
OTTO
Got it.
They slimjim the car and get in
LITE
Lets get out of here. Put your seat
belt on.
LITE
Put your seat belt on boy! I don't ride
with anybody unless they wear their
seatbelt. It's one of my rules.
Otto, going through Lite's briefcase, picks up gun.
LITE
Put that damn gun down boy. It ain't
no toy.
Driving away in the car
LITE
I walk into someone's place of work.
They shit (plum) scared. They know I'm
not a cop. They think I've come to kill
'em and I would. I'd kill anybody who
crosses me. You know what I mean?
Otto goes through glove compartment, puts on pair of sunglasses
he finds there (reference to the movie Kings of the Road with
cinematography by Robby Mueller). Lite puts a lighter to the
cigarette in his mouth, but fails to light it. A few moments
later he does it again and succeeds in getting it lit.
LITE
Do you like music?
OTTO
Sure.
LITE
In that case you're going love this.
Lite puts cassette in player. Lite's Theme starts playing.
LITE
I was into these dudes before anybody.
Partied with them all the time. Asked
me to be their manager. I called bullshit
(no way) on that. Managing a pop group
hey that ain't no job for no man.
Otto sees boxes wrapped in ribbons in back seat and hands one
to Lite who throws it out window. A car runs over box and we
see that it is full of money. Otto continues throwing boxes out
of the window.
LITE
You read that book I gave you?
OTTO
What book?
LITE
Dioretix. Science of matter over mind.
OTTO
Unh uhg
LITE
You'd better read it and quick. That
book will change your life. Found it
in a Maseratti in Beverly hills.
Otto and Miller in vacant lot under bridge
MILLER
A lot of people don't realize what's
really going on. They view life as a
bunch of unconnected incidences and
things. They don't realize that there's
this like lattice of coincidence that
lays on top of everything. I'll Give
you an example, show you what I mean.
Suppose you thinking about a plate of
shrimp. Suddenly somebody will say like
plate or shrimp or plate of shrimp out
of the blue no explanation. No point
in looking for one either. It's all
part of a cosmic unconsciousness.
OTTO
You eat a lot of acid Miller, back in
the hippie days?
MILLER
I'll give you another instance. You
know the way everybody's into weirdness
right now. Books in all the supermarkets
about Bermuda triangles, UFO's, how
the Mayans invented television. That
kind of thing.
OTTO
I don't read them books.
MILLER
Well the way I see it it's exactly the
same. There ain't no difference between
a flying saucer and a time machine.
People get so hung up on specifics.
They miss out on seeing the whole thing.
Take South America for example. In South
America thousands of people go missing
every year. Nobody knows where they
go. They just like disappear. But if
you think about it for a minute, you
realize something. There had to be a
time when there was no people. Right?
OTTO
Yeah. I guess.
MILLER
Well where did all these people come
from? hmmm? I'll tell you where. The
future. Where did all these people disappear
to? hmmm?
OTTO
The past?
MILLER
That's right and how did they get there?
OTTO
How the fuck (hell) do I know?
MILLER
Flying saucers. Which are really? Yeah
you got it. Time machines. I think a
lot about this kind of stuff. I do my
best thinking on the bus. That how come
I don't drive, see?
OTTO
You don't even know how to drive.
MILLER
I don't want to know how. I don't want
to learn. See? The more you drive, the
less intelligent you are.
In Bud's car driving through a tunnel
BUD
You know I think I saw one of those
things once. One of those UFOs. I mean
it was really it was kind of kind of
scary. I saw all these colored lights
and, uh, sounds. I mean sounds and lights
like I never heard before. I mean it
was really weird.
OTTO
Bud.
BUD
Yeah?
OTTO
Do you think all repo men follow the
code?
BUD
Of course. Well I mean you see a lot
of fucked (messed) up cars come in but...99
time out of 100 it was the customer
who fucked (mucked) them up. Assholes
(Damn fools).
Bud in phone booth outside the Rodriguez brothers' apartment.
BUD
I'm offering a thousands dollars for
his Falcon. You know what that is Napoleon?
It's a bribe.
NAPOLEON
Who the hell is this? Napoleon? Who
the fuck (hell) are you calling?
BUD
It's a grand if you show me where his
car is Napoleon.
[NAPOLEON
Ahh. Go fuck yourself asshole.]
BUD
Hello? Prick (Jerk).
Inside the Rodriguez brothers' place, Napoleon looking at repo
sheet on Malibu, which Marlene brought to them.
NAPOLEON
Sixty-four Chevy Malibu. Twenty grand.
BUD
Waiting!
NAPOLEON
We could buy ten of them for that, Marlene.
MARLENE
Think you can find it now?
BUD IN THE STREET
I'm not going anywhere.
NAPOLEON
Now how come this junk is worth so much?
What's in it? Drugs?
BUD IN THE STREET
Got all night amigo!
LAGARTO
Los Hermanos Rodriguez don't approve
of drugs.
MARLENE
Neither do I, but it's my birthday.
BUD IN THE STREET
I'm going to get your .
[MARLENE
That motherfucker's still down there.]
Bud in the street in front of the Rodriguez brother's house
BUD
Don't care how long it takes, dildos
(jerks). Repo man's got all night every
night.
Brothers make paper airplane of repo sheet and float it down
to Bud. Bud picks it up and reads it.
BUD
twenty thousand dollars.
Agent Rogersz listening to Leila and Otto on the phone
OTTO
Hey Leila! All right, um, this is Otto.
The guy who gave you a ride and stuff.
I heard something about that car.
Leila and Otto at the United Fruitcake Outlet
Leila takes Otto into a cinderblock room which has a neon sculpture
on the wall and in the center of the room, standing on a pedestal,
is a humorous statue of what could be a humanoid type alien.
LEILA
Otto. Otto stop. You said you had something
to tell me.
LEILA
Otto? Otto!
OTTO
Huh?
LEILA
What did you want to tell me?
OTTO
Oh! Take off your clothes.
LEILA
I'm at work, Otto!
OTTO
Oh yeah? Me too.
LEILA
Your work is different than mine.
OTTO
Says who?
Otto takes down his pants (according to the filmmakers, Estevez
enjoyed doing this on a regular basis. Maybe they were just joking?).
LEILA
What are you doing.? Don't do that.
[OTTO
Well the least you could do is give
me a blow job.
Leila slaps Otto
OTTO
Heh, I guess that means no.]
DEADRA
Leila? We have a cell meeting in two
minutes time.
LEILA
Thanks Deadra. I'll be right there.
Bud and Lite parked in their cars side by side
BUD
See that motherfucker (melonfarmer)
only thinks I don't know what's going
on, Lite. As soon as I find that Chevy
I'm going indy. I'm going to buy myself
a tow truck, a couple of pitbulls, and
run a yard. Sit around and watch everybody
else do the work for a while (change).
Lite lights up a roach.
LITE
No way you can do that on twenty grand
man.
BUD
The hell I can as long as you have good
credit and my credit is spotless.
The hell I can't, as long as your credit
record's good and mine is spotless.)
LITE
If I find the Malibu, you won't see
me for dust, I'm going to move to Mendecino
County, raise me a bumper crop of tomato
plants.
Bud and Otto in a car
BUD
Credit is a sacred trust. It's what
our free society is founded on. You
think they give a damn about their bills
in Russia? I said do you think they
give a damn about their bills in Russia?
OTTO
They don't pay bills in Russia. It's
all free.
BUD
All free? Free my ass, what are you
a fucking (flippin) commie? Huh?
OTTO
No I ain't no commie.
BUD
Well you'd better not be I don't want
any commies in my car. No Christians
either.
Chevy Malibu exits car wash and pulls up to gas pumps.
That's director Alex Cox wiping the car as it pulls away from
the car wash and over to the pumps.
The pumps at the gas station say "Pace Gas". Next to the pump
is a campaign poster for Harry Pace, running for City Council.
These posters appear elsewhere in the film. In his posters, Harry
Pace has a happy face.
KEVIN
I'll deal with you later. I've got a
customer to attend to. You too.
Kevin walks over to Malibu.
KEVIN
Hi! I'm Kevin. Vacuum sir?
KEVIN
Need a vacuum sir?
Parnell runs fingers through hair and pulls out a clump.
J. FRANK PARNELL
Have you any machines?
KEVIN
You don't want to eat from a machine.
Look, there's a nice Del Taco across
the street. They've got enchurritos
and everything.
J. FRANK PARNELL
But I do want to eat from a machine.
Vended food contains all the necessary
nutrients for survival. Taste damn good
too, by golly. And plus, on any given
evening, the machine that last night
gave you cheetos might dispense instead...
Doritos. Yohos. Oreos. Tosquitos (tostitos?).
Or Lorna Doones.
KEVIN
Lorna Doones? I love Lorna Doones.
Parnell walks off screen and we hear puking sounds.
KEVIN
Oh hey! You want me to check the trunk?
Scuze me.
Lagarto and Napoleon pull up in a car one other side of pumps.
Latino music plays on their car radio.
KEVIN
Hi! I'm Kevin!
NAPOLEON
Hey buddy! How you doing? Huh? Hey don't
you remember me? I was here yesterday.
Heh. Listen I think I left a book of
matches over in your office over there.
You want to go and check for me huh?
KEVIN
Sure thing.
NAPOLEON
Hey thanks a lot buddy.
KEVIN
Any thing for you babes.
NAPOLEON
All right, you're beautiful. I love
you.
KEVIN
I'll be right back.
Lagarto gets in the Malibu and both cars drive off. Kevin returns
from inside and sees both cars gone. Two other attendants sit
at a table and also look; the attendant on the right is director
Alex Cox.
KEVIN
What??
Shot of car driving down freeway, passed by several motorcycles.
Otto and Mrs. Parks in Mrs. Parks' living room
OTTO
It's really very simple Mrs. Parks.
You don't want me to take your car and
I don't want to take your car. Now I
said to the boss I said ah Look! I do
not want to repossess this lady’s car.
Sound of motorcycles pulling up outside of house.
MRS. PARKS
Well I've been in the hospital you see.
OTTO
Yeah, Yes I understand. My job is really
on the line over this one. I could lose
it right away.
MRS. PARKS
I'll see if I can borrow some money
from somewhere.
OTTO
That's terrific. Really terrific.
Mrs. Park's son and his fellow band members enter
MRS. PARKS
Oh how was the rehearsal son?
MRS. PARKS' SON
It was O.K. Who's this?
MRS. PARKS
Oh this is Mr. Otto. He's from the finance
company. He's been telling me that he
isn't going to take the car this time,
even though he could.
OTTO
Well, uh, gotta get going here.
Otto fumbles nervously with his briefcase trying to close it.
MRS. PARKS
Did you like the tea?
OTTO
The tea?
MRS. PARKS
Uh huh?
OTTO
Yeah, it was terrific.
OTTO
Thank you
MRS. PARKS
You're welcome.
OTTO
Uh excuse me.
Otto walks outside and gets in car. From outside we hear Mrs.
Parks yelling at her son.
MRS. PARKS
I gave you the money last week to pay
it and you didn't do it. What did you
do with it? I'm so tired of giving you
money and you squandering it. I know
what you done you all went out dancing
some where. That's what you did. Next
time I give you some money I want you
to put it in the car ya hear. You're
working. How come you didn't do it huh?
I don't know what's happened to you.
(continues softly)
Otto starts car and guns engine, but now we clearly see that
the rear wheels are up on jacks (that it wasn't up on jacks before
has been listed as a goof and even confirmed by Alex Cox, but
I think they're wrong. It is hard to tell in the dark, but you
can see the base of one of the jacks lit up by a light from the
house which goes dark as a band member runs in front of it on
the other side of the car, thus confirming that the car actually
was up on jacks in all the scenes).
Band members run out of house and pull Otto out of car.
OTTO
Hey it's cool. It's cool. I like music
too man, hey
Otto gets beat up. One band member hits him twice over the head
with a guitar, making an audible "kabong" noise. Supposedly you
can hear one member saying "this one's for Keith Moon", but I've
never been able to make it out.
Miller, Plettschner and Otto in the lot.
Miller is chanting and dancing like a native American as he puts
a bandage on Otto's head.
PLETTSCHNER
Some people aren't cut out to be repo
men. Why don't you smarten up kid?
OTTO
Fuck (flip) you Plettschner! OWW! OWW!
PLETTSCHNER
Don't you say fuck (flip) you to me.
Don't you know who I am?
OTTO
Yeah you're Plettschner.
PLETTSCHNER
You're fucking (flippin) right I'm Plettschner.
Otto Plettschner. Three times decorated
in two world wars. I was killing people
while you were still swimming around
in your father's balls (guts). You little
scum bag! I worked five years in a slaughter
house and ten years as a prison guard
in Attica.
OTTO
So what?
PLETTSCHNER
So what? So never say fuck (flip) you
to me. Because you haven't earn the
rights yet.
Lite enters
LITE
Hey kid I need a contract driver.
PLETTSCHNER
See what I mean punk?
OTTO
Fuck (flip) you!
PLETTSCHNER
Fuck you! (What!) You little scumbag.
LITE
Shut up, Phlettschner.
PLETTSCHNER
Don't you ever tell me to shut up.
Lagarto and Napoleon in the Malibu
They pull up in front of a diner.
NAPOLEON
Shit (shoot)! (?)! It's too hot in here
man. What the hell's going on? So fucking
(flippin) hot I think that shit in the
trunk is going to melt. I think we better
take a look, all right?
LAGARTO
Go get us two sodas.
NAPOLEON
All right, as soon as I check the trunk.
LAGARTO
We're just the mules, comprende? (Andale')...
Lagarto calls Marlene from phone booth. A sign in the window
of the diner behind him says "2.95 Plate O-Shrimp Luncheon Special".
MARLENE
Helping hand.
LAGARTO
Marlene! We've found the car.
Archie, Duke, and Debbie exit a window and go down a fire escape
[dropping armloads of pills as they go]. Behind them, a sign
says "Fox & Mac Taggert Pharmaceutical Company".
DUKE
Come on you guys!
DUKE
Get the lead out.
DEBBI
Stop pushing Duke.
[ARCHIE
My medication. Aw man!
DUKE
Aw be cool dude we got more.
ARCHIE
Come on. Come on. da-dee-dee-dee-dah-dah
dee-dee... (continues to the tune of
The Ride of the Valkyries)
Lagarto on the phone with Marlene
LAGARTO
Yeah well that's not the only thing
Marlene. This car is hot.
MARLENE
What do you mean? Stolen?
LAGARTO
No. No I mean it's hot really hot.
MARLENE
Hot?
LAGARTO
Yeah, we're sweating like pigs man.
MARLENE
I got the papers. Where is the car from?
LAGARTO
It's from someplace. Ah Roswell, New
Mexico
Archie and Duke run by the Malibu. Debbie stops, whistles and
gets in the car. Archie and Duke jump in and they drive off to
the sound of a Latino version of The Ride of the Valkyries. Lagarto
walks out of the phone booth just as this is happening and drops
his clipboard in disgust. Napolean walks out of the store, silently
hands Lagarto a soda, and they both stand there and sip their
drinks through straws.
Otto and Lite in a car
The music from Bad Man is playing on the tape deck in Lite's
car.
LITE
Me fight in a war man? Fuck (hell) no
way! Nobody's got to do that shit. Not
in this country. A new I.D. don't cost
no more than a pink slip. You know what
I mean?
LITE
Something wrong?
OTTO
You know Marlene? Man she's pretty hot.
LITE
Otto my man. I jumped on that action
from day one. I found out where she
was coming from.
OTTO
See ya back at the yard.
LITE
Have fun.
Otto slimjims car and tries to start it. While bending down,
window shatters from gunshot.
OTTO
Oh shit (damn). Holy shit (smoke). Lite!
. Lite! Lite! Lite! Lite! Open the door.
There's a maniac in there. What are
you doing? Open the door man! What are
you doing? What are you doing? Open
the door. Lite!
Lite gets out and starts shooting back. He fires 9 times (one
or two of the shots doesn't flash like the others).
LITE
You're still on the job white boy. Get
in the car.
OTTO
Open the door man, open the door. Open
the door Lite.
LITE
Get in the car.
OTTO
Jesus Christ. (Holy cripes.)
Lite and Otto in a field
OTTO
You're crazy Lite. I mean you can't
just shoot into peoples houses. I mean
maybe you shot the guy.
LITE
So what if I did?
OTTO
Well I don't know I mean that's pretty
severe.
Lite shoots the gun at Otto's feet. Otto drops his beer, getting
some on his pants.
OTTO
Jesus Christ. (Holy cripes!)
LITE
Hey! Blanks get the job done too.
OTTO
You repo men, you guys are all out to
fuckin (flippin) lunch. Let's get out
of here.
Leila and J. Frank Parnell on pay phones
Leila on phone hears garbled sounds on receiver.
LEILA
Hello. Is it you? This is Leila. Are
you using a scrambler?
J. FRANK PARNELL
I can't hear you. I'm using the scrambler.
LEILA
(garbled noises in background) Look
out!
J. FRANK PARNELL
What?
A car swerves into the phone booth, then crosses street and hits
a fire hydrant. The agents are trapped inside by the airbags.
More agents appear and chase Leila
AGENT
Happy face! You want a ride?
In Agent Rogersz van
An agent types while eating potato chips. The camera pans across
the van to Agents Rogersz, who is watching a monitor which shows
Leila being questioned
LEILA
What do you want from me?
AGENT
We ask the questions.
LEILA
You're not going to torture me are you?
LEILA
Torture you? What for?
LEILA
To find out what I know. I'd torture
someone in a second if it was up to
me.
AGENT
Huh? Why are you looking for the Malibu?
LEILA
Because of the trunk. The aliens inside.
AGENT
Illegal aliens?
LEILA
No, Silly, Extraterrestrials.
AGENT
Ahhh, heh. Did you ever think about
joining the CIA?
LEILA
Um. I going to have to ask my boyfriend.
AGENT
Boyfriend??
Rogersz computer screen prints up the following information
SUBJECT
Otto Maddox
GENDER
male
RACE
Caucasian
AGE
21
CORRECTION
18
A party at the Helping Hand yard
EVERYBODY
Jingle bells. Jingle bells. Jingle all
the way. Oh what fun
OTTO
What's going on?
MARLENE
Oh. The usual.
PLETTSCHNER
Marlene! How you doing baby?
OLY
Jesus (Golly) who done that to yeah
son?
OTTO
Who done what?
PLETTSCHNER
Who done what he says. You want to talk
about guts. What did you do to your
face kid?
OTTO
Oh some dude it doesn't matter.
LITE
Oh yes it does.
MARLENE
Why don't you do something Plettschner?
Aren't you a cop or something?
PLETTSCHNER
Hey Marlene. I'm on my coffee break.
BUD
Repo man don't go running to the man
Marlene. A repo man goes at it alone.
LITE
Yes sirree bob.
MARLENE
Just like John Wayne.
OLY
Damn right just like John Wayne what's
wrong about that?
PLETTSCHNER
Greatest American that ever lived.
MILLER
John Wayne was a fag (freak).
BUD
What did you say man?
PLETTSCHNER
Whaa?
OLY
What?
[MILLER
John Wayne was a fag.]
EVERYONE
The hell he was.
MILLER
He was too you boys. I installed two
way mirrors in his pad in Brentwood.
And he'd come to the door in a dress.
PLETTSCHNER
Ah, you're fucking (flippin) nuts.
OLY
That doesn't mean he was a homo (freak),
Miller. Lotta straight guys like to
watch their buddies fuck (play). I know
I do.
BUD
They do?
PLETTSCHNER
Yeah.
OLY
Don't you?
PLETTSCHNER
Damn straight I do.
LITE
Fuck (Damn) John Wayne man. Tell us
his name you little pussy (sissy).
OTTO
Kiss off you asshole (airhead).
OTTO
Ow you bastards (loonies)!
BUD
Hey take it easy. Take it easy. The
guys head is hurt.
OLY
This is too personal sonny. The thing
is a repo man got beat up in the line
of duty. Now it doesn't matter that
that man was you. What really matters
is that the guy that did it has got
to pay the price. Now stop being selfish
and tell us his name.
LITE
Come on.
OTTO
Ahh Oww You bastard (buzzard).
OTTO
All right! All right! All right! All
right! O.K. his name was...
The repo men in the front of Mr. Humphries's house
They ring the bell and Mr. Humphries opens the door. In the background,
we can just barely see Kevin, who appears to be in his pajamas.
This is never explained in the movie.
OLY
Mr. Humphries?
MR. HUMPHRIES
Yes? Yes I'm Mr. Humphries. What do
you want? Ungghhh...
Repo Men beat up Mr. Humphries.
At the Helping Hand Acceptance Corporation office
T.V.
The president admitted that U.S. war
planes have napalmed refugees camps
in Southern Mexico. He explained that
these camps were in fact guerrilla bases.
In strife torn Guatemala shots were
fires at the U.S. embassy and government
troops retaliated killing 50... (continues
in background)
MARLENE
Helping hand acceptance corporation.
Marlene speaking.
LEILA
Hello, is Otto there?
MARLENE
It's for you. A girl.
OTTO
Yeah.
LEILA
Hi Otto? It's Leila.
OTTO
Leila who?
In a bar.
Duke, Archie, and Debbie enter the bar, checking their weapons
at the door. The Circle Jerks are on stage playing When the Shit
Hits the Fan.
OTTO
I can't believe I used to like these
guys.
AGENT ROGERSZ
Listen to me! For the sake of this and
future generations you must tell us
everything you know.
OTTO
Yeah. Sure. I need another drink.
LEILA
Otto, these aliens aren't on ice or
anything. They could be starting to
decay. We've got to find them before
they turn into mush.
DUKE
Well! Well! Well! If it ain't the repo
man.
ARCHIE
You look like shit (snot) you wankers
(weirdos).
OTTO
Duke. Debbi. Archie. I'd like you to
meet Leila and her weird friend.
DUKE
How you doing, asshole (airhead)?
ARCHIE
How come you don't hang out with your
friends no more?
[OTTO
What friends?
DUKE
Want some toot dude?
Duke spills his bottle of generic Butyl Nitrate on the table.
Debbie and Archie yell and put their noses to the table to sniff
it all up.
DUKE
I really love ya man. You're my best
friend. Because you always fucking came
to see me while I was in Juvie.
OTTO
I'm busy man. I told ya I was working.
DEBBI
Look a metal hand.
ARCHIE
Cool!
DEBBI
Can we feel it?
ARCHIE
Oh Chante.]
DUKE
Fuck (flip) this let's go do some crimes.
[ARCHIE
Adios butthole.]
LEILA
Charming friends you got there Otto.
OTTO
Thanks, I made'um myself.
Debbi, Archie and Duke leave to find J. Frank Parnell breaking
into the Malibu
DEBBI
Hey what you doing with our car?
J. FRANK PARNELL
Your car?
ARCHIE
Yeah!
J. FRANK PARNELL
Are you sure? This looks like my car.
Are there pecan pies in the back seat?
ARCHIE
Not any more. We ate 'em.
DUKE
Shut up Archie.
ARCHIE
You shut up.
DUKE
You're still here?
J. FRANK PARNELL
My car looks just like this. But this
is yours, your car?
ARCHIE
Yeah four eyes.
J. FRANK PARNELL
Of course...what's in the trunk?
DUKE
What do you mean?
J. FRANK PARNELL
You don't even know what's in your own
trunk.
DEBBI
Kill him Duke!
J. FRANK PARNELL
You know what? I think you're afraid
to find out.
DEBBI
Kill him.
ARCHIE
Come on Duke you putty butt, kill him.
DUKE
I aint afraid of nothing see.
J. FRANK PARNELL
It's all right I don't blame you for
being afraid.
DUKE
I said I ain't afraid of nothing. I
kill people like you.
J. FRANK PARNELL
Oh well. I guess you're right. It's
better not to look.
J. FRANK PARNELL
Beautiful evening. You can almost see
the stars.
ARCHIE
Oh shut up. Duh. He's going to open
it. HAHAHA
DUKE
Ah.
ARCHIE
Come on Duke.
Duke burns his hand on the trunk and wraps a handkerchief around
it.
DUKE
This thing is hot.
ARCHIE
AWWW, heh heh heh
DEBBIE
Well we don't have all night.
Duke opens the trunk a little and a bright light is emitted.
Debbi pushes him away.
DEBBI
Close it Duke! No! No!
ARCHIE
Aw. Dukie Wookie hurt his wittle hand.
DUKE
Fuck (flip) you Archie! Just for that
your not in the gang any more.
ARCHIE
I'm taking over now.
DEBBI
Oh leave it off.
ARCHIE
King Archie the invincible.
DEBBIE
Shut up Archie.
ARCHIE
Hey Debbi! Watch this.
Archie opens the trunk and is disintegrated
J. FRANK PARNELL
Oh dear, what a shame.
DEBBIE
Come on duke let's go do those crimes.
DUKE
Yeah. Yeah. Let's go get Sushi and,
and not pay.
Napoleon and Lagarto in a car pull up along side of J. Frank
Parnell driving the Malibu
NAPOLEON
Hey! Yo! Hey buddy!
NAPOLEON
Special deputies pull over. Special
deputies pull over. Hey!
The Helping Hand repo men in a car
[OLY
So the department says the ice broke
and he fell in.
BUD
Look at these people man there's one
person in each car. City wants up to
car pool but nobody gives a shit.
MILLER
People car pool, we'd be out of work.
LITE
AWW bullshit!
OLY
How come that pig's got a wooden leg?
Well said the farmer said about three
months ago I was out there walking the
pig.
MILLER
Look at that car.]
LITE
Hey Budsky. There's your Girlfriend.
BUD
Aww! Those Rodriguez brothers Humm?
O.K., boys, we've got the whole team
here tonight lets settle these motherfucker's
(melonfarmers) hash for good.
LITE
Let's do it.
[NAPOLEON
Yo! Pull over.
LAGARTO
Meda Bud. Shit!]
NAPOLEON
Don't lose him man.
Bud rams into the Rodriguez brothers' car while the Malibu drives
off with a noticable green glow coming from inside.
PLETTSCHNER
Hey! Hey! Take it easy. Stop this car.
Hey come on. Come on.
The Rodriguez brothers are forced into a parking garage and eventually
have to stop the car
NAPOLEON
Come on! Come on! What are you going
to do with that bat? What? Huh? What?
LAGARTO
Hey! Hey! Hey!
LAGARTO
You bad bud. This is going to cost you
plenty.
BUD
What do you mean its going to cost me
plenty?
LAGARTO
How's your neck Napoleon?
NAPOLEON
Oh my neck? Yeah! Oh! my neck is killing
me man. I think I got whiplash.
LAGARTO
Aside from whiplash, this isn't a repo
car.
[BUD
Bullshit! I got the fucking papers on
it.]
LAGARTO
We paid it off. You see, uh this is
our favorite car.
NAPOLEON
Yeah that's right. You got insurance
?
Bud goes after them with a bat but the rest hold him back.
BUD
Come on . Whose side are you on ? Let
me go .
Back at the Helping Hand office .
Plettschner is sitting in a corner knitting. A television set
on Oly's desk is playing the video "Elephant Parts" with Mike
Nesmith. ov
BUD
This is bullshit (hokum) Oly.
OLY
Yeah Yeah that's what I said when the
marshal woke me up at 4 o'clock this
morning . Unfortunately it isn't bullshit
(hokum), it's a summons.
BUD
You should have refused to accept it.
OLY
Have you read it? The goddamn (gol-durn)
Rodriguez brothers are suing us for
malicious damage, medical expenses and
harassment for a car they fucking (flippin)
own.
BUD
The Rodriguez brothers. But. Ha! You
believe the fucking (flippin) Rodriguez
brothers? They're a couple of scumbags
Oly. You know that?
OLY
I know that bud. But we've got to sit
down and get our stories straight.
BUD
Bullshit (Hogwash) you're taking their
word against mine.
OLY
I was there remember? Why don't you
go home? Take the rest of the week off.
BUD
Take the rest of the? I can't take the
rest of the...OW yeah! I Un Huh I get
it. Take the flippin rest of the week
off budsky. So you can get the flippin
twenty thousand dollars for the Malibu.
OLY
Make it a fucking (flippin) month.
BUD
Yeah? Well fuck (flip) you.
OLY
On second though Budsky. Don't bother
coming back at all.
BUD
Great! I'll come back and pick up my
stuff later when the fucking (flippin)
place don't stink so bad.
PLETTSCHNER
Ha! Ha! Ha!
OLY
Shut up!
Bud and Otto in Bud's car
Otto is driving the car.
BUD
. Makes you wonder how much they owe.
Most of them are on the run. Don't even
use their fucking (flippin) social security
numbers. If there was just some way
to find out how much the motherfuckers
(melonfarmers) owe and making them pay.
OTTO
Jesus Christ (Holy cow) bud. They're
winos, they don't have any money. You
think they'd be bums if they did?
BUD
You want out? Do ya?
OTTO
No!
BUD
What's a matter with you? Don't you
like your job anymore? Not too happy
in your job? I mean I feel like were
not communicating any more. When we
first started out I though I could teach
you something share something with you
for Christ's sake. Answer me!
Otto gets out and walks down street. Passes agents picking up
dead body.
AGENT
(heard in background) I'm picking up
the dead. I'm putting my hands around
this dead body. I'm, I'm carrying his
limp torso to the truck. And he feels
like like he has only been dead a little
while but...
Otto sees the Malibu and gives chase. Losing the car, he stops
on a bridge to puke. When done, he sees the Malibu emerge from
under the bridge. He runs down the stairs and after the Malibu
as it goes through a railroad crossing which has red lights blinking
and bell ringing. J. Frank Parnell stops and lets him in.
J. FRANK PARNELL
(holds out hand) J. Frank Parnell.
OTTO
ott, ott...
J. FRANK PARNELL
What line of work you in?
OTTO
re, re, re..
J. FRANK PARNELL
Rock'n'roller, eh!? I used to be a musician
myself, college days. Of course it was
folk songs and protest songs back then.
(begins singing, badly) We shall overcome,
we shall overcome...
Otto coughs.
J. FRANK PARNELL
(stops singing and scratches ear) Did
you ever feel as if your mind had started
to erode?
OTTO
No.
J. FRANK PARNELL
Ever been to Utah?
OTTO
Nuh-uh
J. FRANK PARNELL
I go to Utah every year. Friend of mine,
was a designer of the MX missile race
track basing mode. A hundred thousand
miles of railroad track on a big loop
through Utah, Arizona, and Nevada. Bombs
were going to hide in locomotive sheds.
That way the red team would never know
exactly where they were. I still go
out to Utah, just to think about the
way things might have been.
OTTO
Sir. I represent the Helping Hand Acceptance
Corporation.
J. FRANK PARNELL
Radiation, yes indeed! You hear the
most outrageous lies about it. Half-baked
goggle-boxed do-gooders telling everybody
it’s bad for you. Pernicious nonsense!
Everybody could stand a hundred chest
X-rays a year. They ought to have 'em
too. When they canceled the project
it almost did me in. One day my mind
was literally a-burst. The next day
nothing. Swept away... But I showed
them. I had a lobotomy in the end.
OTTO
Lobotomy? Isn't that for loonies?
J. FRANK PARNELL
Not at all. A friend of mine had one.
Designer of the neutron bomb. Ever hear
of the neutron bomb? Destroys people.
Leaves buildings standing. It fits in
a suit case. It's so small no one knows
it's there until blammo. Eyes melt skin
explodes everybody dead. It's so immoral
working on the thing can drive you mad.
That's what happened to this friend
of mine. So he had a lobotomy. Now he's
well again.
OTTO
What kind of car does your... does your
friend drive?
J. FRANK PARNELL
Chevy Malibu.
OTTO
And you do the same type of work?
J. FRANK PARNELL
Didn't I tell you? I can't tell you
what I do. I'm classified.
OTTO
This is really a nice old car. Why don't
you let me drive?
J. FRANK PARNELL
What do you mean?
OTTO
Well I don't know. I mean...uh! Don't
you feel funny.?
J. FRANK PARNELL
Why should I feel funny? The two hemispheres
are fundamentally at odds. Hemisphere,
Hemisphere. You know it's strange. I
do feel funny...
J. Frank Parnell passes out at the wheel and drives into the
sign at another railroad crossing. Otto dumps him and drives
off with the Malibu.
The helping hand crew at Miller's with their wives
OLY
By the way kid, sign this.
OTTO
What is this?
OLY
Equity turnover. Standard practice.
Protects you in case we get sued. .
. Don't read the damn thing, kid, just
sign it.
Miller has a camera and the flash goes off as he accidentally
takes a picture of himself.
REPO WIFE 1
Here's the young new-waver we've all
heard so much about.
REPO WIFE 2
My old man had a mohawk on him when
I met him. He was in the service then.
OLY
He signed it over to me. But he didn’t
realize-
REPO WIFE 2
My old man was such a monster. I used
to have to tell him no.
REPO WIFE 1
My old man was exactly the same way
until we got married.
LITE
Hey Oly. You're wife's hanging all over
Otto.
OLY
Yeah. Like flies on shit (spit).
OTTO
Um. Have you see uh bud anywhere?
REPO WIFE 1
Who?
Bud and Otto in office
TV
...another wonderful Christian opportunity.
The Reverend Larry...
BUD
Hey there hero. Get the money yet?
OTTO
Not yet. Oly's going to get it for me
though. I just signed the papers.
BUD
Whu, what do you mean, what papers?
OTTO
Beats me, just some, uh, contract or
something.
BUD
Didn't you read it?
OTTO
Well, no, just, uh, standard practice,
uh, contract...
BUD
Melonfarmer Oly! ...oooh, shoot.
OTTO
What, is that not a happening deal?
Bud breaks into the lot. Later, he picks up Otto
BUD
Hey ace. Wait up.
OTTO
So you want to talk about it?
BUD
Talk about what kid?
OTTO
Why you're so damn mad at me?
BUD
I'm not mad at you. damn. I'm not.
I'm not mad at you.
OTTO
All right O.K.
Duke and Debbie in car in front of a liquor store
[DUKE
Debbie?
DEBBIE
What?
DUKE
I've been thinking. Now that we've got
some money and Archie's gone, don't
you think it's time we we settle down?
Get a little house. I want you to have
my baby.
DEBBIE
Why?
DUKE
Well I don't know. Every body does it.
And it just seems like the thing to
do and...
DEBBI
Asshole.]
DUKE
Let's go do the job.
Bud and Otto are at the counter. Duke and Debbi enter waving
guns.
OTTO
Duke! Debbie! What what are you guys
doing here?
DUKE
What's it look like ace?
DEBBIE
Up against the wall.
DUKE
I'm going to kill him. I'm going to
kill him. I'm going to kill everybody.
ha-ha-ha
Bud sneaks his gun out. Louie sees him from down an aisle.
LOUIE
Drop it motherfucker (melonfarmer).
Louie now sees the others with the guns. Bud waves his back and
forth. Debbi shoots Bud in the head.
BUD
Oww shit (shoot).
Duke shoots Louie. Louie goes down but manages to shoot Duke,
but then is out of bullets. Duke walks over to Louie to finish
the job, but the counterman pulls out a shotgun and shoots Duke.
Debbie shoots the counterman. Now only Debbie and Otto are left
standing.
OTTO
Debbie Ah. Ah Do You, uh, do you think
it's too late uh for us to get romantically
involved?
DEBBIE
I think a little.
OTTO
Wait! Wait! Stick with me. I'll make
you a repo wife.
DEBBI
Bollocks. Here. (tosses Otto a bag of
popcorn)
DUKE
Otto?
OTTO
Yeah I'm here man.
DUKE
The lights are growing dim. I know a
life of crime led me to this sorry fate.
And yet I I blame society. Society made
me what I am.
OTTO
That's bullshit (nonsense). You're a
white suburban punk, just like me.
DUKE
But it still hurts.
OTTO
You're going to be all right man
Duke pukes up some blood.
OTTO
Maybe not.
Agents photographing a dead J. Frank Parnell
One of these agents is Jimmy Buffet, who was working with Mike
Nesmith at the time the film was made.
AGENT
Yep he's dead all right.
AGENT
No doubt about it.
AGENT
He's a goner.
AGENT
Man.
AGENT ROGERSZ
Don't touch the body, don't touch the
body.
AGENT
Sorry.
AGENT
Telephone call for you agent.
AGENT ROGERSZ
Don't bother me now.
AGENT
But Agent Rogersz, it's the Gipper.
AGENT
Look.
AGENT
Booth's setting him on fire
Otto enters Parents living room
Parents are covered with cobwebs and watching TV.
REVEREND LARRY ON TV
...fail to register for patriotic chores.
So, please call this toll free number.
Praise the lord. There is no redemption
for the unredeemed, no escape for the
fair weather patriots. No salvation
from the boiling blistering fires of
eternal damnation. Now these are the
end times. Because in these days there
shall be hell in time. Man shall be
lovers of their own self rather than
lovers of God.
OTTO'S DAD
Haven't seen you in a while, Son.
TV
No escape...
OTTO'S MOM
Some men were just here looking for
you, Otto.
TV
No salvation from the blistering files
of eternal damnation. For in these days
there shall be hell in time, there shall
be war and more war, and earthquakes
in diverse places...
OTTO
What kind of men?
OTTO'S MOM
Very nice young men. They wore sunglasses.
OTTO
Well, what did you tell them? Did you
tell them I was sick?
OTTO'S DAD
We told them the truth, son. Gave them
your address at work.
TV
Money shall run out and the people will
line up at the banks and there won't
be anything . . . these prophecies are
in your bible. The same one that you
have in your home. Now I want you to
get up off of your sofa and put that
beer down and go wherever it is in your
house pick up that book and turn with
me...
Otto turns off TV and leaves.
Otto returns to the Helping Hand Yard and sees an argument going
on in the office
AGENT
Where's the car baby? That Chevy Malibu
baby. Where's the car?
PLETTSCHNER
Otto!
OTTO
Jeeze.
PLETTSCHNER
You got to stay out of this.
OTTO
Why?
PLETTSCHNER
It's none of your business. You want
to be a hero? Or would you rather be
a chicken man?
OTTO
What?
PLETTSCHNER
A chicken man. Did you ever see a farmer's
wife? Huh?
OTTO
Let go of me!
[PLETTSCHNER
It's peaceful man.]
Inside the Helping hand office
AGENT 1
The Malibu.
AGENT 2
Yeah?
Otto enters and Marlene uses the distraction to kick the shit
out of the agents.
MARLENE
Let's go
OTTO
No way Marlene.
OTTO
My car's gone and we're going to get
to the bottom of this.
MARLENE
Like hell we are.
AGENT 2
Not in my face.
PLETTSCHNER
Hold it Marlene. Freeze!
Marlene drops chair.
AGENT 2
My Face!
MARLENE
Over my dead body.
PLETTSCHNER
That's how it's going to have to be.
MARLENE
Come and get me. Come on.
PLETTSCHNER
I've been wanting to do that one for
a long time honey.
MARLENE
Come on. Come on. Come on if you think
your man enough.
OTTO
Hey Fletch. Coffee break.
Otto throws a pot of coffee into Plettschner's face. Marlene
steps through door. Otto steps outside and is immediately captured
by agents.
Agent Rogersz and Leila watch Otto on monitor
AGENT ROGERSZ
Good evening Otto. This is agent Rogersz.
I'm going to ask you a few questions.
And since time is short and you may
lie, I'm going to have to torture you.
But I want you to know it isn't personal.
OTTO
Look Ah this isn't really necessary.
I'll tell you anything you want to know.
AGENT ROGERSZ
Good! Where is the Malibu?
OTTO
I don't know. Somebody ripped it from
the yard.
Otto his hit with electric shock and screams.
LEILA
I don't think he knows.
AGENT ROGERSZ
Increase the voltage.
LEILA
But what if he's innocent?
AGENT ROGERSZ
No one is innocent. Proceed.
Another electric shock and screams. Then Marlene and the Rodiguez
brothers enter interrogation room and rescue Otto.
AGENT ROGERSZ
Ah yes! Look at them. High heels, hair
nets, those ridiculous trench coats.
They're pathetic.
AGENT 1
But agent Rogersz, they're getting away.
AGENT ROGERSZ
That's all part of the plan.
Brothers, Marlene, and Otto drive away.
MARLENE
Otto, Otto pull your self together.
OTTO
Marlene? What's going on?
MARLENE
We're going to the hospital.
Otto, Marlene and the Rodriguez brothers enter the hospital
OLD LADY
Hey, I know you. You're the one that
run into my trash.
OTTO
Shh!
OLD LADY
Shhh to you too.
Otto and Marlene enter elevator with 2 health professionals.
Lagarto turns away woman on crutches trying to get in.
LAGARTO
Out of order. Take the stairs.
Otto and Marlene exit elevator wearing clothes taken from health
professionals. Otto has a smiley face button on his right collar.
NOTE
Dr. Benway and Mr. Lee are both characters
from "The Naked Lunch"
Otto pulls back sheet covering body on gurney and sees Kevin.
KEVIN
Otto?
Cut back to ER waiting room where nurse is talking to patient
who has just filled out a form.
NURSE 1
Let me see that. All wrong do it over.
OLD LADY
They're going through it all the and
they won't pick it up.
NURSE 2
Oh well isn't that a shame.
OLD LADY
Oh tell you it comes to something when
they expect you to pick it up.
Otto and Marlene see a door with a pine tree air freshener hanging
from the knob. It's Bud's room. They go in.
OTTO
How are you doing man?
MARLENE
Ask him about the Malibu.
OTTO
Look about the other night. I'm sorry
I split. I know I should have stayed
with you but ah it's like when I was
a kid you know I I had this set of big
wheels you know.
MARLENE
Otto!
Otto, Marlene and the Rodriguez brothers get chased by the agents
down the stairs.
Back in Bud's room
BUD
Shit (shoot). (starts to get up off
of the bed)
REVEREND LARRY
Praise the lord.
Otto, Marlene and Rodriguez brother drive off and the agents
chase them through the parking garage.
NAPOLEON
Go. Go. Go.
NAPOLEON
Come on. Let's go.
As they drive off and agents run after, the glowing Malibu drives
by and strikes down two of the agents with lightening bolts.
OTTO
Dude slow down.
Agent Rogersz blocks the exit and they are all caught.
NAPOLEON
All right don't shoot come on all right
all right
AGENTS
Chicken shits (stuff). braak-braak-braak
AGENT ROGERSZ
Where's the Malibu?
OTTO
Don't even ask because I don't know.
I mean I don't have it Marlene doesn't
have it you and your crazy friends don't
have it. So that only leaves...
Everybody in Bud's hospital room
Bud is gone.
AGENT
Where is he.
AGENT
Where the fuck (hell) is he.
They escape the agents. Marlene and the brothers drive off as
Otto breaks into and steals a car.
NAPOLEON
Later!
MARLENE
Bye, Bye.
VOICE FROM THE RADIO
Here's another weird one. Reports are
coming in about apparent hail of ice
cubes south of downtown. Scientist are
at a loss to explain the freak showers
of tiny cubes of ice.
Otto arrives at Helping Hands lot while it rains ice cubes.
Bud is sitting in the glowing Malibu.
OTTO
That's some weird fucking shit (filthy
stuff) Eh Bud? What's going on man?
BUD
Shit (damn)! Eleven years of repoing
cars and what have I got? Shit (zilch)!
OTTO
Bud listen to me. You're sitting in
a car worth twenty thousand dollars.
Look look we we turn it in we take the
money and split it sixty forty. You
and me.
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