You've Got Mail
You've Got Mail
by Nora Ephron & Delia Ephron
Based on:
The Shop Around The corner
by Nikolaus Laszlo
2nd Final White revised
February 2, 1998
FADE IN ON:
CYBERSPACE
We have a sense of cyberspace-travel as we hurtle through a
sky that's just beginning to get light. There are a few
stars but they fade and the sky turns a milky blue and a big
computer sun starts to rise.
We continue hurtling through space and see that we're heading
over a computer version of the New York City skyline. We
move over Central Park. It's fall and the leaves are
glorious reds and yellows.
We reach the West Side of Manhattan and move swiftly down
Broadway with its stores and gyms and movies theatres and
turn onto a street in the West 80s.
Hold in front of a New York brownstone.
At the bottom of the screen a small rectangle appears and the
words:
ADDING ART
As the rectangle starts to fill with color, we see a percentage
increase from 0% to 100%. When it hits 100% the image pops and
we are in real life.
EXT. NEW YORK BROWNSTONE - DAY
Early morning in New York. A couple of runners pass on their
way to Riverside Drive Park.
We go through the brownstone window into:
INT. KATHLEEN KELLY'S APARTMENT - DAY
KATHLEEN KELLY is asleep. Kathleen, 30, is as pretty and
fresh as a spring day. Her bedroom cozy, has a queen-sized
bed and a desk with a computer on it. Bookshelves line every
inch of wall space and overflow with books. Framed on the
children's classic. Madeleine.
As Kathleen wakes up, her boyfriend FRANK NAVASKY walks into
the room. He wears blue jeans and a workshirt. He's carrying
the New York Times.
KATHLEEN
Good morning.
FRANK
(as he reads)
Listen to this -- the entire work force
of the state of Virginia had to have
solitaire removed from their computers --
Kathleen gets out of bed and goes to brush her teeth in the
bathroom, and we stay with Frank.
FRANK
(continuing)
-- because they hadn't done any work in
six weeks.
Kathleen comes out of the bathroom in her robe.
KATHLEEN
Aren't you late?
FRANK
(continuing)
You know what this is, you know what
we're seeing here? We're seeing the end
of Western civilization as we know it.
KATHLEEN
This is so sad.
She tosses him his jacket.
FRANK
(points at her computer)
You think that machine is your friend,
but it's not.
(checks his watch)
I'm late.
INT. LIVING ROOM - KATHLEEN'S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS
As Frank walks to the apartment door. We see a charming room
with a couch, fireplace, books, and a dining table with a
typewriter with a cover on it.
KATHLEEN (O.C.)
I'll see you tonight.
FRANK
Sushi.
KATHLEEN (O.C.)
Great. Bye.
Frank goes out the door. It closes.
Kathleen tiptoes into the hall and looks through the fish-eye
peephole watching as he goes down the stairs, disappearing
from sight. She walks into:
INT. KATHLEEN'S BEDROOM - DAY
And looks out the front window as Frank walks out onto the
street and turns toward Broadway.
He's gone. Good.
She sits down at her computer. An expression of anticipation
and guilty pleasure as she clicks the mouse.
INT. COMPUTER SCREEN - DAY
As we see the logo for America On Line come up and Kathleen's
code name: Shopgirl. She logs on and the computer makes all
its little modem noises as the computer dials the access
number and connects and we hear the machine:
COMPUTER
Welcome.
And we see Kathleen, listening for the words she's waiting to
hear:
COMPUTER (cont'd)
You've got mail.
And Kathleen smiles as her mail page comes up:
INT. COMPUTER SCREEN - DAY
We see a list of letters:
Big Cash Op: You can make $$$ in your spare time. OIL MKT: You
can turn $20 into $20,000 THIS REALLY WORKS U CAN DO IT:
Maximize your selling ability nowwwww!!! NY152 Brinkley
Kathleen hits the "delete" key and the first three letters --
all of them junk-mail -- are deleted and drop offscreen.
Then she selects the "Read Mail" key for "NY 152 Brinkley".
And the letter comes up:
To: Shopgirl
From: NY152
Re: Brinkley
Kathleen starts to read the letter aloud:
KATHLEEN
Brinkley is my dog. He loves the streets
of New York as much as I do --
And now we hear Kathleen's voice replaced by the voice of
NY 152, a man named JOE FOX --
JOE (V.O.)
-- although he likes to eat bits of pizza
and bagel off the sidewalk, and I prefer
to buy them. Brinkley is a great catcher
and was offered a tryout on the Mets farm
team --
(continued)
INT. JOE'S APARTMENT - DAY
A dog is sitting on a large green pillow on the floor. This
is BRINKLEY. The pillow has "Brinkley" embroidered on it.
Brinkley's master, JOE FOX, a great-looking guy, full of
charm and irony, comes into the kitchen and pours himself
some orange juice. He's half-dressed.
JOE (cont'd)
-- but he chose to stay with me so that
he could spend 18 hours a day sleeping on
a large green pillow the size of an inner
tube. Don't you love New York in the
fall? It makes me want to buy school
supplies. I would send you a bouquet of
newly-sharpened pencils if I knew your
name and address. On the other hand,
this not knowing has its charms.
VOICE
Darling --
JOE
Mmmmmhmmm --
Joe's girlfriend PATRICIA EDEN, in Armani head to toe, comes
into the kitchen and turns on the $2000 espresso machine,
which starts grinding beans. She's carrying the morning
papers.
PATRICIA
I'm late.
(indicating the newspaper)
Random House fired Dick Atkins. Good
riddance. Murray Chilton died. Which
makes one less person I'm not speaking
to --
(she drains a cup of espresso
as a second starts to come out
of the machine)
Vince got a great review. He'll be
insufferable. Tonight, PEN dinner --
JOE
Am I going?
PATRICIA
You promised.
JOE
Can't I just give them money? That's the
cause? Free Albanian writers? I'm for
that.
Patricia drains another cup of espresso, looks at him.
JOE
All right, I'll go. You're late.
PATRICIA
I know I know I know.
She tears out of the kitchen and the door slams behind her.
Hold on Joe, listening as he hears the elevator door open and
close on the landing outside.
IT. JOE'S DEN - DAY
As he comes in and sits down at his laptop computer and logs
on.
JOE & THE COMPUTER (TOGETHER)
Welcome... You've got mail.
And as he starts to read his letter, we hear:
KATHLEEN (V.O.)
I like to start my notes to you as if
we're already in the middle of a
conversation. I pretend that we're
the oldest and dearest friends --
as opposed to what we actually are,
people who don't know each other's names
and met in a Chat Room where we both
claimed we'd never been before.
INT. JOE'S ELEVATOR - DAY
As Joe, dressed for work, takes the elevator down with his
elevator man CHARLIE. There's a certain amount of Good
morning, etc., as the elevator goes down and the voice-over
continues:
KATHLEEN (V.O., CONTINUES)
What will he say today, I wonder. I turn
on my computer, I wait impatiently as it
boots up.
EXT. RIVERSIDE DRIVE - DAY
As Joe comes out of his building.
KATHLEEN (V.O., CONTINUES)
I go on line, and my breath catches in my
chest until I hear three little words:
You've got mail.
And the camera now pans from 152 Riverside uptown to:
EXT. NEW YORK BROWNSTONE - MORNING
KATHLEEN (V.O., CONTINUES)
I hear nothing, not even a sound on the
streets of New York, just the beat of my
own heart. I have mail. From you.
EXT. BROADWAY - MORNING
As Kathleen comes onto Broadway at the corner of 83rd Street
and starts downtown.
Through a long lens we can see Joe, walking into blocks behind
her.
As Kathleen and Joe make their way down Broadway we see the
West Side of Manhattan in the morning. Mothers and fathers
taking their kids to school, people on their way to work,
dogs being walked. School buses picking up kids, bakery
trucks dropping off brown bags of bread in the doorframes of
unopened restaurants.
Kathleen stops at a newsstand, says good morning to the
newsstand dealer, and picks up a New York Times.
Metal grates are pulled up to open flower shops, nail salons,
the pharmacy, fish store, the Cuban Chinese Restaurant,
Zabar's.
Joe stops at the same newsstand. He buys all the papers --
the Times, Wall Street Journal, Post and Daily News.
INT. STARBUCKS - DAY
As Kathleen picks up her coffee, walks out.
EXT. COLUMBUS AVENUE - DAY
As Kathleen walks down Columbus, we see Joe a block behind
her. She stops to buy flowers and Joe passes her, crosses to
the Ease side of Columbus Avenue.
EXT. COLUMBUS AVENUE - DAY
A building under construction, with plywood board covering
the front and wrapping around the corner. Joe goes to a side
entrance and enters.
EXT. COLUMBUS & 73RD STREET - DAY - CONTINUOUS
As Kathleen comes around the corner onto 73rd and stops in
front of her store, a children's bookstore called "The Shop
Around the Corner." It is an irresistibly inviting store.
There are twinkle lights in the windows, framing large
stuffed animals reading children's books: Madeleine, Good
Night Moon, Where the Wild Things Are. A teddy bear in a
pinafore is reading The Stupids Step Out. Waiting for
Kathleen in front is one of her employees, CHRISTINA.
KATHLEEN
Hello, Christina. It's a beautiful day.
Isn't it the most beautiful day?
Christina looks up at the sky as if seeing it for the first
time.
CHRISTINA
I guess. Yeah, sure.
Kathleen unlocks the shop and cranks the grate, which
rises, making a horrible noise. Two cabs almost collide in
front of the store, with a screech, and one cabdriver starts
yelling obscenities at the other. Kathleen unlocks the door
to the store.
KATHLEEN
Don't you love New York in the fall?
Christina looks at her puzzled.
INT. SHOP AROUND THE CORNER - CONTINUOUS
Kathleen turns the CLOSED sign on the door over to read
"OPEN" and she activates the computer system. She looks
around, and we see a small but charming children's bookstore,
with wooden shelves, a tiny area where kids can sit and read,
some charming posters and a glass case full of first editions
of the Oz books and Alice In Wonderland, etc. There's a
playful display of witches, lit with twinkle lights covered
with orange pumpkin globes and a sign reading "The Ten Best
Witch List" and a collection of witch books -- "The Lion, The
Witch and the Wardrobe," "The Witches," "The Wizard of Oz."
On the counter is a glass jar full of sugar-free lollipops.
Kathleen hangs up her coat in the back of the store and
suddenly stops to daydream. A smile creeps onto her face.
Christina looks at her.
CHRISTINA
What's going on with you?
KATHLEEN
Nothing.
CHRISTINA
You're in love.
KATHLEEN
In love? No. Yes. Of course I am.
I'm in love with Frank. I'm practically
living with Frank. Do you think you
could get our Christmas mailers out this
week?
CHRISTINA
By Monday I promise. I have a paper due
Friday. Now what's going on?
(she looks at Kathleen)
I'm just going to stand here till you tell
me.
A beat.
KATHLEEN
Is it infidelity if you're involved with
someone on E-mail?
CHRISTINA
Have you had sex?
KATHLEEN
Of course not. I don't even know him.
CHRISTINA
I mean cybersex.
KATHLEEN
No!
CHRISTINA
Well, don't do it. The minute you do,
they lose all respect for you.
KATHLEEN
It's not like that. We just E-mail.
It's really nothing, on top of which I'm
definitely thinking of stopping because
it's getting --
CHRISTINA
Out of hand?
KATHLEEN
Confusing. But not really. Because it's
nothing.
CHRISTINA
Where did you meet him?
KATHLEEN
I can't even remember.
(off Christina's look)
The day I turned thirty I wandered into
the Over Thirty Room for a joke, sort of
and he was there, and we started
chatting.
CHRISTINA
About what?
KATHLEEN
Books. Music. How much we both love New
York. Harmless. Harmless. Meaningless.
(starts smiling)
Bouquets of sharpened pencils.
CHRISTINA
Excuse me?
KATHLEEN
Forget it. We don't talk about anything
personal. We made a rule about that.
I don't know his name, what he does or
exactly where he lives, so it will be
really easy to stop seeing him, because
I'm not.
CHRISTINA
God, he could be the next person to talk
into the store. He could be...
(as George walks in)
George.
GEORGE PAPPAS, in his twenties, one of Kathleen's
salespeople, is a cute guy who has no idea that he's supposed
to look in the mirror when he gets dressed.
GEORGE
Morning.
CHRISTINA
Are you On Line?
GEORGE
As far as I'm concerned, the Internet is
just another way to be rejected by a
woman.
BIRDIE walks in. She is in her seventies, has white hair,
and is tiny, like a little sparrow. She is the store's
oldest employee, having worked there for over forty years,
and serves as a accountant as well as salesperson.
KATHLEEN
Good morning, Birdie.
BIRDIE
What are you all talking about?
CHRISTINA
Cybersex.
BIRDIE
I tried to have cybersex once but I kept
getting a busy signal.
CHRISTINA
I know, I know. One Saturday night I was
really depressed about not having a date,
so I thought, no problemo, I'll go on
line and I won't be lonely, but I
couldn't get on, there were hundreds of
thousands of people who didn't have dates
trying to get on.
(MORE)
You have to wonder which is harder,
getting a date or getting On Line when
you don't have a date.
GEORGE
Getting a date is harder.
We hear the bell jingle as TWO WEST SIDE MOTHERS come in with
two KIDS IN STROLLERS.
KATHLEEN
(to the kids)
Jessica and Maia, how are you today?
We hear the sound of the garbage truck. Kathleen goes out
the front door to:
EXT. SHOP AROUND THE CORNER - DAY
As the commercial garbage truck pulls up and TWO GARBAGEMEN
start to load her trash.
KATHLEEN
Hey, you forgot to pick up the garbage
last week and I got a ticket. And you're
late today -- I could have gotten
another.
GARBAGEMAN #1
We were here, there was no garbage.
GARBAGEMAN #2
Yeah.
KATHLEEN
Of course there was --
GARBAGEMAN #1
What do you think, I don't want to pick
up garbage? You think I go up and down
the street picking up garbage, I'm not
going to pick up yours? What's the
matter with you?
GARBAGEMAN #2
Yeah.
Kathleen is standing there, tongue-tied.
GARBAGEMAN #1
You don't even bundle it right, you're
supposed to bundle it and leave it near
the curb, you leave it near the store
and you use cheap garbage bags, they
smear all over the place, and then I got
to pick it up with my shovel --
INT. SHOP AROUND THE CORNER - CONTINUOUS
As Christina, who's helping one of the customers, looks out
the window as the harangue continues.
EXT. SHOP AROUND THE CORNER - CONTINUOUS
GARBAGEMAN #1
And now you're busting my chops. You're
just another garbage pick-up to us, okay?
GARBAGEMAN #2
Yeah.
As Kathleen continues to stand there, speechless.
INT. SHOP AROUND THE CORNER - CONTINUOUS
As Kathleen comes back into the store. Christina is ringing
up a sale.
KATHLEEN
That guy went ballistic on me.
CHRISTINA
I hope you told him off.
KATHLEEN
Not exactly.
Another customer enters the store. The bell jingles.
EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE ON COLUMBUS - DAY
A little truck carrying a knife sharpener, its bells ringing,
passes the building under construction.
INT. CONSTRUCTION SITE - DAY
WORKERS, ELECTRICIANS, MASONS, CARPENTERS, etc. in the
process of building what looks like a large store. Wires
hanging everywhere.
KEVIN
The electrical contractor called. His
truck hit a deer last night, he won't be
in 'til tomorrow. The shelves are late
because the shipment of pine had beetles.
And there's some question about whether
we're installing the stairs in the right
spot --
JOE
That sounds great.
KEVIN
Testing one two three four.
JOE
Is the electrician here?
KEVIN
I just told you -- he hit a deer.
JOE
I hear nothing. Not a sound on the city
streets, just the beat of my own heart.
I think that's the way it goes.
Something like that.
KEVIN
(beginning to glean something)
Did you and Patricia get engaged?
JOE
Engaged? Are you crazy?
KEVIN
I thought you liked Patricia --
JOE
I love Patricia. Patricia's amazing.
Patricia makes coffee nervous.
(suddenly all business)
Are we still on schedule?
KEVIN
We open two weeks before Thanksgiving.
JOE
I guess we should announce ourselves
soon. Tell people we're coming.
KEVIN
This is the Upper West Side of Manhattan.
The minute they hear they'll be lining up
--
JOE
-- to picket --
KEVIN
-- the big bad --
JOE
--chain store --
KEVIN
-- that destroys --
JOE
-- everything we hold dear. But we'll
seduce them with our square footage and
our deep armchairs and our amazingly
swift checkout lines and our discounts
and our...
JOE & KEVIN
(the trump card)
-- cappuccino.
JOE
They hate us in the beginning, but we
get them in the end. Meanwhile we
should just put up a sign -- Coming soon,
a Foxbooks Superstore and The End of
Western Civilization As We Know It.
INT. FOXBOOKS - WORLD HEADQUARTERS - DAY
Joe is in the office with his father, NELSON FOX, and his
grandfather, SCHUYLER FOX. The office has been recently
redecorated; everything is new and a little overdone.
On the wall we see the Foxbooks logo.
JOE
Kevin and I are both a little concerned
about the neighborhood response --
(suddenly notices the garish
couch)
What is this fabric? Does it have a
name?
NELSON
Money. Its name is money.
JOE
Gillian selected it.
NELSON
Of course.
SCHUYLER
Your father is getting married again.
JOE
Oh, great, congratulations, Dad. Why?
NELSON
Who knows? Why does anyone get married?
JOE
Love.
NELSON
Yes, that is one reason.
SCHUYLER
I think you're a damn fool.
NELSON
Dad, Matthew is four. It would be nice
for him if his parents were married.
SCHUYLER
Annabel is eight and I'm not married to
her mother. I can't even remember her
mother's name.
(he laughs merrily)
JOE
I have a very sad announcement to make.
City Books on 23rd Street is going under
...
Nelson, Shuyler, and Joe high-five each other.
NELSON
Another independent bookstore bites the
dust --
SCHUYLER
On to the next.
JOE
And I'm buying their entire stock --
architecture, New York history -- for the
new store.
NELSON
How much are your paying?
JOE
Whatever it costs, it won't be as much as
this exquisite mohair episode.
(indicates the couch)
We're also going to have a section on
West Side Writers --
SCHUYLER
-- as a sop to the neighborhood.
NELSON
Perfect. It'll keep those West Side
liberal nut pseudo-intellectual bleeding
hearts --
JOE
Readers. They're called readers.
NELSON
Don't romanticize them. It'll keep them
from jumping down your throat --
SCHUYLER
What's the competition?
JOE
One mystery store. Sleuth, on 86th and
Amsterdam. And a children's bookstore.
The Shop Around the Corner. Been there
forever.
SCHUYLER
Cecilia's store.
JOE
Who's that?
SCHUYLER
Cecilia Kelly, lovely woman. I think we
might have had a date once. Or maybe we
just exchange letters.
JOE
You wrote her letters?
SCHUYLER
Mail. It was called mail.
NELSON
(fondly nostalgic and kidding
it slightly)
Stamps. Envelopes.
JOE
Wait. I've heard of it. It was a means
of communication before I was born.
NELSON
Exactly.
SCHUYLER
Cecilia had beautiful penmanship.
She was too young for me, but she was...
enchanting. Her daughter owns it now.
NELSON
Too bad for her.
As a DECORATOR walks into the office carrying a pile of
upholstered pillows, and Joe turns to look at them.
COMPUTER VOICE (OVER)
Welcome. You've got mail.
JOE (V.O.)
My father is getting married again. For
five years he's been living with a woman
who studied decorating at Caesar's
Palace.
COMPUTER VOICE (OVER)
You've got mail.
INT. SUBWAY - DAY
Kathleen looks up from her book as a butterfly flies through
the subway car.
KATHLEEN (V.O.)
Once I read a story about a butterfly in
the subway, and today I saw one. I
couldn't believe it. It got on at 42nd
--
(continued)
The train comes to a stop. The butterfly flies out.
KATHLEEN (V.O.)
-- and got off at 59th, where I assume it
was going to Bloomindale's to buy a hat
that will turn out to be a mistake. As
almost all hats are.
EXT. H & H BAGELS - NIGHT
A flour truck is unloading flour into a hole in the ground.
JOE (V.O.)
Did you know that every night a truck
pulls up to H&H Bagels and pumps about a
ton of flour into the ground? The air is
absolutely amazing.
As Joe comes around the corner and sees the dust filling the
air. It is amazing.
KATHLEEN (V.O.)
I guess I've read Pride & Prejudice about
100 times --
INT. JOE'S KITCHEN - DAY
As Joe reads a copy of Pride and Prejudice. He can't stand
it.
KATHLEEN (V.O.)
-- and every time I read it I worry that
Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy are not going to
get together -- but the truth is whenever
I think about my favorite book I always
think about the books I read as a child --
INT. SHOP AROUND THE CORNER - DAY
As Kathleen takes a copy of Homer Price off the shelf.
JOE (V.O.)
Did you ever read Homer Price? My all-
time favorite children's book.
(continued)
She opens it to the illustration of the doughnut machine that
won't stop making doughnuts.
JOE (V.O., cont'd)
There's a doughnut machine in it that
won't stop making doughnuts, they just
keep coming down the chute just as
regular as a clock can tick.
EXT. KRISPY KREME STORE - DAY
KATHLEEN (V.O.)
Have you been to Krispy Kreme?
(continued)
Joe, eating a doughnut, looks through the window at the huge
doughnut machine as the doughnuts roll down the chute just as
regular as a clock can tick.
KATHLEEN (V.O., cont'd)
There's a doughnut machine right in the
window that makes 110 dozen doughnuts an
hour.
EXT. STARBUCKS - DAY
As Joe leaves with his morning coffee.
EXT. COLUMBUS AVENUE - NEW YORK - MORNING
Joe goes to his painter at work: COMING SOON is as far as he's
gotten.
EXT. STARBUCKS - DAY
She enters Starbucks.
INT. STARBUCKS - DAY
As Kathleen buys her morning coffee and listens to everyone
ordering.
We can hear the sounds of Starbucks: "Short decaf cap," "Tall
mocha latte." "Grande lowfat regular." Etc.
EXT. COLUMBUS AVENUE - A HALF HOUR LATER
The painter is further along on the sign. It now reads:
COMING SOON, A FOXBOOKS SU --
Kathleen walks past the construction site. She doesn't
really pay attention to the sign painter.
We see two police cars barreling up 75th Street, followed by
a television news truck.
EXT. BROADWAY - CONTINUOUS
The police cars and TV truck barrel uptown.
EXT. 101st STREET - CONTINUOUS
They turn left onto West 101st and stop in front of an
apartment building on the block. There are more police cars
and a horde of television reporters with microphones, etc.
George emerges from the building as a newscaster broadcasts.
TV REPORTER
The body of a woman was found this
morning on the roof of a New York
building...
As George comes out of his building into a horde of REPORTERS
with microphones, cameras, etc. and listens to the reporter,
who, seeing George, sticks the microphone into his face.
TV REPORTER
Here is a resident of the building. Your
name, please?
GEORGE
George Pappas.
REPORTER
Did you see or hear anything unusual last
night?
GEORGE
No. I didn't go out.
At that moment, George sees a young woman. This is MEREDITH
CARTER. He is struck dumb.
REPORTER
The victim was red-haired, about thirty-
five, wearing a jogging suit. Did you
encounter anyone by that description
in the building? Sir?
George hasn't heard a word.
REPORTER
Have there been any wild parties
lately?
George doesn't answer.
REPORTER
Could it perhaps be one of your
neighbors?
George continues to stare at the beautiful woman. As he
does, she notices him. She stares back. The reporter,
ignored, finally turns away.
REPORTER
(to camera)
As you can see, no one here knows
anything.
He continues to stand there, dumbstruck for a moment.
Meredith Carter starts to walk away.
EXT. NEW YORK STREET - DAY
As George walks along Broadway, past the sign, which now
says: "COMING SOON: A FOXBOOKS SUPERSTORE". He sees it.
INT. SHOP AROUND THE CORNER
Kathleen and several CUSTOMERS in the store.
George walks in and goes to the back to hang up his coat.
Christina is unpacking boxes. Birdie is at the desk. George
looks at Christina meaningfully.
CHRISTINA
(totally mystified)
What?
GEORGE
The coup de foudre. I had one. I
never believed in them, but I just had
one.
BIRDIE
Is that the thing where you get cold
suddenly, bang?
CHRISTINA
No, that's the coup de vieux.
BIRDIE
I had that.
GEORGE
The coup de foudre is where you get
love suddenly, bang. A thunderbolt.
BIRDIE
I had that too. Only I had it in
Seville, where it was called ,el
estruendo de amor.
GEORGE
I don't know her name, or anything about
her. I may never see her again.
CHRISTINA
And if you ever do meet her, you'll find
out all the horrible details, and that
will be that. She'll turn out to have
pictures of the Virgin Mary all over the
walls.
GEORGE
I won't care.
Kathleen sticks her head into the back.
KATHLEEN
Can someone help me out here?
CHRISTINA
George had a coup de foudre.
GEORGE
And Christina's making fun of me.
KATHLEEN
Don't let her. I believe in this, I
completely believe in this. It happened
to Madame Bovary, at least six times.
CHRISTINA
And she was wrong every time.
KATHLEEN
Yes!
(beat)
Who was she?
GEORGE
I don't know. She was standing outside
my building with the police and the
reporters.
KATHLEEN
What police and reporters?
GEORGE
Someone died.
KATHLEEN
Who?
GEORGE
I have no idea about that either.
They found her on the roof.
KATHLEEN
A dead body. That's so sad. But
you fell in love. That's so great.
GEORGE
Oh. One other thing.
EXT. COLUMBUS AVENUE - DAY
The sign is now complete and it says: "Coming soon, just
around the corner. A Foxbooks Superstore."
Kathleen and George and Christina stand there looking at it.
CHRISTINA
Quel nightmare.
KATHLEEN
It has nothing to do with us. It's
big, impersonal, overstocked and
full of ignorant salespeople.
GEORGE
But they discount.
KATHLEEN
But they don't provide any service. We
do.
George and Christina nod.
INT. BARNEY GREENGRASS - LUNCHTIME
Kathleen is having lunch with Birdie.
KATHLEEN
So really it's a good development. You
know how in the flower district, there
are all these flower shops in a row so
you can find whatever you want. Well,
this is going to be the book district.
If you don't have it, we do.
BIRDIE
And vice versa.
INT. KATHLEEN'S APARTMENT - DUSK
Kathleen in the kitchen, unloading groceries. Frank is
standing there, plugging in an Olympia Report deluxe Electric
typewriter.
FRANK
When you are finished with Foxbooks, the
Shop Around the Corner is going to be
responsible for reversing the entire
course of the Industrial Revolution.
KATHLEEN
That is so sweet, Frank. Thank you.
That is so sweet.
FRANK
Hey --
He holds his arms out. They hug.
KATHLEEN
Although...
FRANK
What?
KATHLEEN
(over his shoulder, she notices
the typewriter, breaks from
the hug)
What is that doing there?
FRANK
Listen to it. Just listen--
He strikes a key. Practically swoons.
FRANK
The Olympia Report deluxe Electric
Report. As in gunshot.
KATHLEEN
That sound is familiar.
FRANK
Now listen to this.
He puts his ear to the typewriter.
Kathleen listens too.
KATHLEEN
That whirring?
FRANK
The gentle and soothing lullaby of a
piece of machinery so perfect --
KATHLEEN
I know where I've heard it before. I
know.
She whips a cover off the other typewriter on the table.
It's the same machine exactly.
FRANK
I needed a backup.
KATHLEEN
Don't you have another one at your
apartment?
FRANK
I might, I might. So what?
KATHLEEN
You're turning my apartment into a
typewriter museum.
FRANK
I'll stop. I'll try. I probably can't.
I see one and my knees go weak. Anyway,
what were you starting to say?
KATHLEEN
When?
FRANK
Before.
KATHLEEN
Nothing.
FRANK
Come on.
KATHLEEN
I don't know. I was just wondering about
my work and all. I mean, what is it I do
exactly? All I really do is run a
bookstore --
FRANK
All you really do is this incredibly
noble thing --
Kathleen nods.
KATHLEEN
But I don't know if I --
FRANK
(stopping her)
Kathleen --
KATHLEEN
But I just --
FRANK
You are a lone reed.
Kathleen looks puzzled.
He sticks a piece of paper in the typewriter, starts typing.
FRANK
You are a lone reed waving in the
breeze standing strong and tall in
the corrupt sands of commerce.
He whips the piece of paper out of the typewriter and hands
it to her.
KATHLEEN
(reading from it)
I am a lone reed.
(tries it on again)
I am a lone reed.
Clutching her piece of paper, she wanders into the bathroom.
INT. BEDROOM - DUSK
We hear the sound of a typewriter begin to clack away in the
next room.
Kathleen walks past her computer, looks at it. Then she goes
over to the window, looks out at her street at dusk.
EXT. KATHLEEN'S STREET - DUSK
A group of schoolgirls in uniform, in two straight lines,
walk past with a tall woman.
INT. KATHLEEN'S BEDROOM - DUSK
She goes over to the bookshelf and pulls out a copy of
Madeleine by Ludwig Bemelmans and opens it to the
illustration of the twelve little girls in two straight lines
marching through the streets of Paris. She looks at it, then
looks up, lost in thought. We hear the sound of the computer
keys.
KATHLEEN (V.O.)
Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead
a small life. Well, not small, but
circumscribed. And sometimes I wonder,
do I do it because I like it, or because
I haven't been brave? So much of what I
see reminds me of something I read in a
book, when shouldn't it be the other way
around?
(continued)
And hold on her as she thinks about this.
In the other room, we hear Frank typing.
Kathleen goes to the computer, turns it on.
EXT. KATHLEEN'S BUILDING - NIGHT
As we see Kathleen, through her curtains, a small figure
barely lit by her computer.
KATHLEEN (V.O., cont'd)
I don't really want an answer. I just
want to send this cosmic question out
into the void. So goodnight, dear void.
INT. DRIP - DAY
Drip is a cafe on Amsterdam Avenue with Fifties-style couches
and chairs in cozy seating arrangements. Kathleen is
standing at the front counter with Christina, getting drinks.
CHRISTINA
I went to the Foxbooks Website and you
can buy anything. They ship it to you
in a day. Maybe we should get a website.
KATHLEEN
My mother would never have wanted us to
have a website. "Every book you sell is
a gift from your heart." She always said
that.
As they walk toward the back of the cafe, Kathleen notices a
stack of loose-leaf binders on the table.
CHRISTINA
What if they put us out of business?
KATHLEEN
It's out of the question. We're a
fixture in the neighborhood. We're
practically a landmark.
(indicating the binders)
Men For Women, Women for Men, Women for
Women -- what is this?
CHRISTINA
You fill out one of these forms and they
file it in the book and if someone wants
to meet you, they arrange it.
KATHLEEN
What a stupid way to meet someone.
CHRISTINA
Compared to the Internet?
KATHLEEN
My little thing on the Internet is just
a lark.
CHRISTINA
So it's still going on?
KATHLEEN
And I do not plan to meet him.
(indicating the book)
Why do I get the feeling that you are in
here somewhere?
Christina flips the book open to her application.
CHRISTINA
I came in here one night and drank too
much coffee and filled one out.
(off Kathleen's look)
Well how am I supposed to meet someone?
KATHLEEN
You are a runner. Some day you will make
eye contact with another runner and --
CHRISTINA
No one ever even looks at me. They
don't. On top of which, who are they?
They could like the symphony. I could
never fall in love with someone who
likes to go to the symphony --
KATHLEEN
I know. What are you supposed to do
there?
CHRISTINA
I don't know.
KATHLEEN
Sit. You're supposed to sit.
CHRISTINA
I could never fall in love with anyone
who smokes cigars either.
KATHLEEN
I'll tell you what I hate. Big fat legs
like stumps.
CHRISTINA
Yeah. I hate that too.
KATHLEEN
The worst, the worst -- I could never,
under any circumstances, love anybody
who had a sailboat.
CHRISTINA
Neither could I.
KATHLEEN
If I had to get up on Saturday morning
knowing that I was about to go down to
the pier and unravel all those ropes and
put on all that sunblock --
CHRISTINA
All that talk about the wind.
KATHLEEN
And then you have to go out on the boat,
and you sail and sail and sail until you
are bored witless, and then, only then,
do they say, let's turn around and you
realize the trip is only half over, only
it's not, because the wind has changed --
CHRISTINA
It hasn't changed. It's died.
KATHLEEN
So then there's more talk about the wind.
While you just float up and down trying
not to get nauseous. And when you
finally get back, you have to clean up
the boat.
CHRISTINA
Why don't people have boat maids?
KATHLEEN
I know. There're all these people who
wouldn't be caught dead polishing a
doorknob in their house but put them on
a boat and they want to rub down
everything in sight.
EXT. 19TH STREET BOAT BASIN - ANOTHER DAY
Joe is on his sailboat. He is polishing his brass and
whistling.
ANNABEL
Joe --
Joe jumps off the boat onto the dock to greet his
grandfather's daughter ANNABEL, 8, who is coming toward the
dock with GILLIAN, his father's overdecorated 32-year-old
fiance, her son, MATTHEW, 4, and the Nanny, MAUREEN.
JOE
Hello.
(picks up Annabel)
Annabel, how are you today?
ANNABEL
Great.
JOE
(picks up Matt)
Hey, big guy --
GILLIAN
Don't I get a hello?
JOE
Hello, Gillian.
GILLIAN
Kiss me. I'm going to be your wicked
stepmother.
Joe gives her a peck on the cheek.
JOE
Who is this?
GILLIAN
Nanny Maureen. I brought her in case
you couldn't handle the kids.
ANNABEL
Maureen's getting a divorce.
JOE
I'm sorry to hear that.
MAUREEN
It's my own fault. Never marry a man
who lies.
JOE
That is so wise. Remember that, Annabel.
ANNABEL
She taught Matt to spell his name.
MATT
Fox. F-O-X.
JOE
Excellent, Matt.
(to Maureen)
Good work. You can have the day off.
I'll take over from here.
(to Gillian)
You must be late for something.
Volunteer work at the Henry Street
Settlement. Packing bandages for
Bosnian refugees. A course in
Chinese literature at Columbia.
GILLIAN
I am. I'm having my eggs harvested.
EXT. STREET FAIR - DAY
There's a block street fair with little booths, sausage
sandwich concessions, etc. Annabel and Matt have been to the
makeup booth. Annabel is a cat and Matt is a pirate.
Annabel is carrying a goldfish in a baggie as they walk toward
Broadway.
EXT. KATHLEEN'S STORE - DAY
As Joe, Annabel and Matt walk past. There's some sort of toy
miniature princess in a pointed hat sitting outside the store
and a sign lit with twinkle lights: Storybook Lady today 3:30.
INT. KATHLEEN'S STORE - DAY
Kathleen is sitting on a stool reading to a group of CHILDREN,
including Annabel and Matt, who are crammed into her store.
Joe is watching, along with some PARENTS as Kathleen reads
from a Roald Dahl book.
INT. KATHLEEN'S STORE - LATER
Matt is sitting on the floor reading a book. Kathleen is
showing Annabel a copy of a book called Betsy-Tacy.
KATHLEEN
This is her best friend Tacy, whose real
name is Anastasia, and then in the next
book Betsy and Tacy become friends with
Tib, whose real name, I am sorry to tell
you, is Thelma.
In another section of the store:
George is showing Joe a first edition of Swiss Family
Robinson from the glass case.
GEORGE
The illustrations are hand-tipped,
which is why --
JOE
It costs so much.
GEORGE
It's why it's worth so much.
Joe smiles and turns to see Kathleen and Annabel at a whole
shelf of Betsy-Tacy books.
ANNABEL
I want all of them.
KATHLEEN
That might be an awful lot for your dad
to buy at one time.
ANNABEL
My dad gets me all the books I want.
KATHLEEN
(looking over at Joe)
Well, that's very nice of him.
ANNABEL
That's not my dad. That's my nephew --
KATHLEEN
Oh, I don't really think that's your
nephew --
As Joe approaches.
JOE
It's true. Annabel is my aunt. Aren't
you, Aunt Annabel?
Annabel nods solemnly.
ANNABEL
And Matt is --
KATHLEEN
Let me guess.
(to Matt)
Are you his uncle?
MATT
No.
KATHLEEN
His grandfather?
Annabel and Matt start giggling.
KATHLEEN (cont'd)
His great-grandfather?
MATT
(shouting with glee)
I'm his brother.
JOE
Annabel is my grandfather's daughter.
And Matt is my father's son. We are an
American family.
He smiles at Kathleen, who finds herself smiling back.
Annabel suddenly sneezes.
Kathleen takes a handkerchief from her sleeve. It's an old
fashioned hankie that's embroidered. She offers it to
Annabel, who instead wipes her nose with her hand and then
looks at the handkerchief, a little puzzled.
ANNABEL
What is that?
KATHLEEN
A handkerchief. Oh my, do children not
even know what handkerchiefs are? A
handkerchief is a Kleenex you don't throw
away. My mother embroidered it for me --
you see? My initials and a daisy,
because daisies are my favorite flower.
ANNABEL
Orchids are my favorite flower.
KATHLEEN
(to Joe)
You know what else children don't know?
They don't know what a telephone booth
is?
Joe is looking at Kathleen.
JOE
Who are you?
KATHLEEN
Kathleen Kelly. I own this store.
Are you are?
JOE
Joe. Just call me Joe.
(quickly)
We'll take these books.
He gets the one Matt is reading. And the two other Kathleen
has gotten for Annabel.
KATHLEEN
These are wonderful books. As Annabel
gets older the characters in the books do,
too.
(to Annabel)
You can grow up with Betsy.
GEORGE
You're going to come back again, aren't
you?
JOE
Of course.
GEORGE
This is why we're never going to go
under. Our customers are loyal.
KATHLEEN
(by way of explanation)
They're opening a Foxbooks around the
corner.
ANNABEL
Foxbooks! My Daddy --
JOE
(gently putting his hand over
her mouth)
-- likes to buy at discount. Don't tell
anyone that, Annabel, it's nothing to be
proud of --
MATT
(spelling)
F-O-X.
KATHLEEN
That's amazing. You can spell fox. Can
you spell dog?
MATT
F-O-X.
JOE
Matt, look at this dinosaur book.
Wouldn't you like a dinosaur book?
Annabel, maybe you could read this to
Matt while I wrap things up here.
(moves them to a corner, to
them quickly)
Sit down, read, and don't listen to
anything I say.
Returns to counter and gives Kathleen some cash.
JOE
And the dinosaur book too.
KATHLEEN
The world is not driven by discounts,
believe me. I've been in business
forever. I started helping my mother
here after school when I was six years
old. I used to watch her, and it wasn't
that she was selling books, it was that
she was helping people become whoever
they were going to turn out to be. When
you read a book as a child it becomes
part of your identity in a way that no
other reading in your life does.
(stops herself)
I guess I've gotten carried away.
JOE
You have, and you've made me feel...
He can't finish the sentence. He looks at her and sees,
behind her on the shelf, a picture of a woman who is
unmistakably Kathleen's mother, with a young Kathleen.
JOE (cont'd)
Enchanting, your mother was enchanting.
KATHLEEN
She was. How did you know that?
JOE
Lucky guess.
KATHLEEN
Anyway. She left the store to me, and
I'm going to leave it to my daughter.
JOE
How old is your daughter now?
KATHLEEN
Oh, I'm not married. But eventually.
She smiles at Joe...
KATHLEEN
So Foxbooks can...
KATHLEEN AND GEORGE TOGETHER
Go to hell.
KATHLEEN
(handing him his books)
Here you go.
JOE
We ready?
Annabel and Matt join him at the counter. Kathleen gives them
each a lollipop.
ANNABEL
Bye, Kathleen.
KATHLEEN
Goodbye, Annabel. Bye, Matt. What
about cat? Can you spell cat?
MATT
F-O-X.
INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY
Someplace like the auditorium at the Museum of Broadcasting.
PATRICIA EDEN, Joe's girlfriend, who is the editor-in-chief
of a New York publishing house called Eden Books, is standing
at a podium at a sales conference. In the audience are sales
reps, wholesalers, etc. There's a screen behind her with
pictures of the authors being flashed on it as she speaks.
PATRICIA (cont'd)
And now, the book you've all been waiting
for, the book it's been my dreams to
publish. The legendary Veronica Grant
has written her memoirs --
There's a burst of applause as a photograph of Veronica Grant
flashes on screen.
PATRICIA (cont'd)
-- and I'm happy to report it is just
crammed with tragedy.
(she laughs gaily)
Just kidding, but seriously, it's all
here: poverty, addiction, divorce,
tracheotomies --
We see pictures of Veronica at eight with her sharecropper
family, Veronica at 14 with her first child, Veronica with a
series of husbands, Veronica in a wheelchair, etc.
PATRICIA (cont'd)
-- her third husband beat her up, hip
replacement, and an amazing face lift
where all the injected fat fell to her
chin.
Now we see a blow-up of the book's jacket, with a picture of
Veronica on it and the title: "Am I Rising from Ashes, or Did
I Just Forget to Dust?"
PATRICIA (cont'd)
This book is fabulous. And even if it
weren't, it would sell like crazy,
because Veronica is going to plug it to
death on every talk show in America.
This book...
Patricia bursts into tears.
PATRICIA (cont'd)
I'm sorry. I can't talk about it without
crying. Veronica and I have so much in
common -- well, not all the sad parts --
but we were both famous by the time we
were 29 and, believe me, that's rough.
(wipes her nose with a Kleenex,
pulling herself together)
Anyway, I just want to say that I'm
especially thrilled to be publishing it.
Veronica lives in my building and we met
in the elevator. By the time we had
traveled from the eighth floor to the
first, we had a deal. First printing:
one million copies.
Everyone applauds enthusiastically.
INT. AUDITORIUM LOBBY - A SHORT WHILE LATER
Patricia is leaving, still surrounded by colleagues and sales
reps congratulating her. She is the soul of graciousness.
Her assistant, Sarah, comes up.
SARAH
(quickly)
You have a dentist appointment in twenty
minutes. So you should leave soon...
PATRICIA
What's my car number?
SARAH
Car? You didn't say anything about a car
--
PATRICIA
Are you an idiot? Of course I need a car.
God!
She walks toward the exit.
EXT. 57TH STREET - CONTINUOUS
Patricia in the pouring rain, trying to hail a cab. She
spots one across the street.
PATRICIA
Taxi! Taxi! Taxi!
She whistles -- a longshoreman's whistle.
The cab makes a U-turn, but instead of stopping for Patricia
it stops about twenty feet ahead for a MAN in an overcoat who
gets into it.
PATRICIA
Excuse me -- what are you doing? This is
my taxicab.
(to the driver)
Don't take him. I am telling you right
now, and I am memorizing your number,
don't take him.
(to the man)
Who the fuck do you think you are?
MAN IN OVERCOAT
Are you going uptown?
PATRICIA
Yes.
MAN IN OVERCOAT
Get in. I'll drop you.
INT. TAXI - A MINUTE LATER
As the cab turns onto Eighth Avenue, starts uptown.
Patricia is dialing her cell phone. She's elaborately
ignoring the man who stole her cab.
PATRICIA
Veronica, it's Patricia, you should have
been there, it was unbelievable, we're
going to sell truckloads of your book.
Call me.
She hangs up, folds up the phone, puts it back in her purse
as the cab moves on.
MAN IN OVERCOAT
Are you an editor?
PATRICIA
Yes.
MAN IN OVERCOAT
I am a rabbi.
PATRICIA
Oh, my God, I said fuck to a rabbi. I'm
sorry.
MAN IN OVERCOAT
I hope you don't mind my asking, but are
you Jewish?
PATRICIA
Yes.
MAN IN OVERCOAT
You should come to our temple.
PATRICIA
I'm not really religious.
MAN IN OVERCOAT
Oh, I am surprised, you seem like a very
religious person.
PATRICIA
You're kidding, right?
MAN IN OVERCOAT
We are at West End Avenue and 83rd
Street. Every Friday night, we have a
joyous time, everyone dancing, everyone
singing. Also some wisdom. Perhaps you
have heard of us, we are known as The
Singles Temple.
He smiles at her.
MAN IN OVERCOAT
It's a very good place to calm down.
The cab stops.
MAN IN OVERCOAT
Oh, look, I am already here. Very nice
to meet you.
(gives the cabbie money)
Take this woman to her destination.
He gets out. Closes the door. A beat too late:
PATRICIA
Goodbye.
EXT. KATHLEEN'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Frank comes up the stoop.
INT. KATHLEEN'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Kathleen is dressed up for a party.
Frank walks in, looks meaningfully at her.
FRANK
I saw him. I actually saw him.
KATHLEEN
Who?
FRANK
I can't believe it. I saw William
Spungeon.
KATHLEEN
I thought he was in Mexico.
FRANK
Maybe he's in Mexico, but today he was in
New York. The most brilliant and
reclusive novelist in the history of the
world is here, in this neighborhood. He
may be living on this very block.
KATHLEEN
Where did you see him?
FRANK
I was on the subway --
INT. SUBWAY - DAY
FRANK (V.O.)
-- and this musician got onto the train --
Frank is sitting on the subway, reading the Village Voice.
The door between the cars opens and a man playing the
clarinet enters the car.
No one looks up except Frank.
FRANK (V.O.)
-- and I suddenly saw him, sitting
directly across from me doing the
crossword puzzle.
KATHLEEN (V.O.)
How'd you know it was him?
FRANK (V.O.)
He looked exactly the same as his high
school yearbook picture, which happens to
be the last photograph ever taken of him.
Frank takes out his billfold on the subway, pulls out a piece
of paper.
CLOSE UP - FOLDED PIECE OF PAPER
As Frank unfolds a newspaper clipping of a yearbook picture
of William Spungeon at 17.
Frank compares the photo of Spungeon with the person sitting
across the way. They don't look remotely alike except that
the boy in the picture and the man on the subway are both
wearing the same style glasses.
The subway stops at 79th Street, and William Spungeon gets off.
Frank follows.
EXT. BROADWAY - CONTINUOUS
As Frank comes out of the subway station and looks around.
FRANK
So I followed him.
Frank sees Spungeon cross 79th. He follows.
EXT. H&H BAGELS - CONTINUOUS
Frank follows Spungeon, who hurries into H&H Bagels passing a
HOMELESS MAN holding a paper cup at the door.
FRANK (V.O.)
He went into H&H and bought a bagel
with everything.
EXT. H&H BAGELS - A MINUTE LATER
As Spungeon leaves the store, passing the paper cup, which we
now realize that Frank, in dark glasses, is holding.
Spungeon drops his newspaper in a garbage container.
FRANK (V.O.)
He dropped his crossword into the
garbage and I rescued it.
Frank plucks the puzzle from the trashcan, follows Spungeon.
INT. SPORTING GOOD STORE - CONTINUOUS
Spungeon at the counter in the shoe store.
FRANK (V.O.)
Then he went into a sporting good store
and bought tube socks, 6 pair for $7.99.
We see Frank, peeking out at him from behind a stack of
running pants. Suddenly he's distracted by a couple of
joggers.
KATHLEEN (V.O.)
William Spungeon and tube socks.
FRANK (V.O.)
I know. I don't want to dwell on it.
Frank looks back at the counter. Spungeon's gone.
FRANK (V.O.)
And then I lost him.
INT. KATHLEEN'S APARTMENT - THAT NIGHT
Frank waves the crossword puzzle in front of Kathleen.
FRANK
Do you know what this is worth?
He takes an empty instant-frame from the closet, puts the
puzzle into it and sets it next to the typewriters.
INT. JAPANESE RESTAURANT - NIGHT
As the two of them eat dinner.
FRANK
What I was thinking as I was trailing him
was that eventually I would have the
courage to say hello to him, you know,
not in a horrible, intrusive or slavering
fan-slash-acolyte kind of way, but more
like, "Hi." "How ya doing?" "Have you
ever thought about trading up in the sock
area?" "Who knows, maybe he's read my
work -- and then we'd become friends, and
eventually I'd introduce him to you --
you know how much he loves children's
books, there's a whole long section in
Relativity's Smile about The Wizard of Oz
-- and then maybe he'd come out of hiding
so he could help save the store.
KATHLEEN
What are you talking about?
FRANK
From Foxbooks. I mean, if things got
tough, he could help rally support --
KATHLEEN
It's never going to get to that. The
store is fine.
EXT. STREET - NIGHT
As they walk along after dinner.
FRANK
I don't even know why you would say that?
KATHLEEN
Neither do I. It just flew out of my
mouth.
FRANK
There's enough business for us all.
INT. ELEVATOR - NIGHT
As they go up in an elevator.
KATHLEEN
I mean, we're fine.
FRANK
You're more than fine, you're absolutely
fine.
KATHLEEN
We're fine.
The elevator opens onto:
INT. VINCE MANCINI'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
A publication party for an author named VINCE MANCINI. A mix
of book people, journalists and various other media folk.
FRANK
Hey, Vince. Congratulations. You know
Kathleen Kelly.
VINCE
How are you?
FRANK
Guess who I saw today on the subway?
William Spungeon.
VINCE
I thought he was in Mexico.
They start chatting.
Across the room, Joe is with Patricia, who is telling two
other people the story of meeting the rabbi in the taxicab.
Joe looks over and sees Kathleen. He suddenly looks
stricken.
Shifts his position so Kathleen can't see his face, but
sneaks a look.
PATRICIA
Would you get me another drink, sweetie?
I'm all out.
(continues chattering)
So then the rabbi says, "It's a very good
place to calm down." Isn't that
hysterical?
They all laugh. Joe moves over to the bar.
JOE
Absolut on the rocks.
As he is waiting, Kathleen comes up next to him.
KATHLEEN
A white wine, please.
(very friendly)
Oh, hello.
JOE
Hi.
KATHLEEN
Remember me, from the bookstore?
JOE
Of course I remember you.
KATHLEEN
How's your aunt?
JOE
Good. She's good.
(gets his drink)
I have to deliver this. I have a very
thirsty date. She's part camel.
Kathleen laughs.
KATHLEEN
Joe. It's Joe, isn't it?
JOE
And you're Kathleen.
Joe vanishes into the party.
INT. VINCE MANCINI'S APARTMENT - NIGHT - A MINUTE LATER
VINCE
I can't believe you were talking to Joe
Fox.
KATHLEEN
Joe Fox? As in --
She can't even finish the sentence.
INT. VINCE MANCINI'S APARTMENT - A COUPLE OF MINUTES LATER
Joe is standing at a table of food, his back to the room.
KATHLEEN
Fox? Your last name is Fox?
Joe spins around, looks at her.
JOE
F-O-X.
KATHLEEN
God, I didn't realize. I didn't know who
you --
(she trails off)
JOE
-- were with.
(quoting)
"I didn't know who you were with."
KATHLEEN
Excuse me?
JOE
It's from the Godfather. When the movie
producer realizes that Tom Hagen is the
emissary of Vito Corleone --
(continued)
Kathleen is staring at him.
JOE (cont'd)
-- just before the horse's head ends up
in his bed never mind --
KATHLEEN
You were spying on me, weren't you? You
probably rented those children.
JOE
Why would I spy on you?
KATHLEEN
I am your competition. Which you know
perfectly well or you would not have put
up that sign saying "Just around the
Corner."
JOE
The entrance to our store is around the
corner. There is no other way to say it.
It's not the name of our store, it's
where it is. You don't own "around the
corner."
KATHLEEN
Next thing you'll be using twinkle
lights.
JOE
Twinkle lights?
KATHLEEN
Little white Christmas lights that
twinkle. I use them in my window and on
all my displays, as if you didn't notice.
JOE
Look, the reason I came into your store
is that I was spending the day with
Annabel and Matt. I like to buy them a
present when I see them because I'm one
of those guys who likes to buy his way
into the hearts of children who are his
relatives. There was only one place to
buy children's books in the neighborhood
-- although that will not always be the
case, and it was yours, and it is a
charming little bookstore. You probably
sell $250,000 worth of book a year --
KATHLEEN
How do you know that?
JOE
I'm in the book business.
KATHLEEN
I'm in the book business --
JOE
Oh, I see, and we're the Price Club.
Only instead of a ten-gallon can of olive
oil for $3.99 that won't even fit into
your kitchen cabinet, we're selling cheap
books. Me a spy.
(beat)
Absolutely. And I managed to get my hands
on a secret printout of the sales figures
of a bookstore so inconsequential and yet
full of its own virtue that I was instantly
compelled to rush over and check it out
for fear it would drive me out of business
--
Kathleen stares at him. She's speechless.
JOE (cont'd)
What?
(off her look)
What?
Kathleen shakes her head.
Frank turns up.
FRANK
Hi. I'm Frank Navasky --
JOE
-- Joe Fox.
FRANK
Joe Fox? Inventor of the Superstore,
enemy of the mid-list novel, destroyer of
City Books -- tell me something:
How do you sleep at night?
Patricia joins them.
PATRICIA
I use a wonderful over-the-counter drug,
Ultrasom. Don't take the whole thing,
just half, and you will wake up without
even that tiniest hangover. You're Frank
Navasky, aren't you?
FRANK
Yes.
PATRICIA
Your last piece in the Independent, the
one about Anthony Powell, was brilliant.
I'm Patricia Eden, Eden Books. Joe, this
man is the greatest living expert on
Julius and Ethel Rosenberg --
JOE
And this is Kathleen Kelly --
Kathleen glares at him.
FRANK
You liked my piece. God, I'm flattered.
You know you write these things and you
think someone's going to mention them and
then the whole week goes by and the phone
doesn't ring, and you think Oh, God, I'm
a fraud, a failure --
PATRICIA
You know what's always fascinated me
about Julius and Ethel Rosenberg is how
old they looked when they were really
just our age.
Everyone is stopped dead by this observation and looks at
Patricia, who smiles at them all.
PATRICIA
(to Frank)
I'm so happy to have finally met you. We
will talk. Have you ever thought about
doing a book?
FRANK
Oh sure, it's passed through my head.
Something really relevant for today like
the Luddite movement in 19th century
England.
At the same time:
JOE
Patricia --
KATHLEEN
Frank --
INT. KATHLEEN'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
As Kathleen and Frank get into bed.
FRANK
I really like Patricia Eden. She's a
very nice person.
Kathleen doesn't respond. Frank turns out the light.
FRANK
She needs educating, that's all.
A beat.
FRANK
She's hopelessly driven by money and
power, but there's a hope for anyone
who's that familiar with my work --
On Kathleen, as she turns away from Frank and lies there,
eyes open.
INT. JOE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
As Joe and Patricia get into bed. Brinkley is already on the
bed.
PATRICIA
I had no idea that Frank Navasky was so
down-to-earth.
Joe doesn't respond. Patricia turns out the light.
PATRICIA
You read his stuff, you think he's going
to be so obscure and abstruse.
A beat.
PATRICIA (cont'd)
He's always talking about Heidigger and
Foucault and I have no idea what any of
it's about, really.
Joe gets up. Brinkley follows.
PATRICIA (cont'd)
Where are you going?
JOE
I'm not really tired.
INT. JOE'S DEN - NIGHT
Joe writes on his computer. Brinkley on the floor next to him.
And cut between Joe and his computer screen.
JOE (V.O.)
Do you ever feel you become the worst
version of yourself? That a Pandora's
Box of all the secret hateful parts --
your arrogance, your spite, your
condescension -- has sprung open.
Someone provokes you, and instead of
just smiling and moving on, you zing
them. Hello, it's Mr. Nasty. I'm sure
you have no idea what I'm talking about.
INT. KATHLEEN'S COMPUTER SCREEN - DAY
And cut between screen and
INT. KATHLEEN'S BEDROOM - DAY
As Kathleen reads the end of Joe's letter.
Kathleen hits the Reply key and starts to type:
KATHLEEN (V.O.)
I know what you mean and I'm completely
jealous. What happens to me when I'm
provoked is that I get tongue-tied. My
mind goes blank. Then I spend all night
tossing and turning trying to think of
what I should have said.
INT. JOE'S COMPUTER SCREEN AND JOE'S DEN - NIGHT
As he replies:
JOE (V.O.)
Wouldn't it be wonderful if I could pass
all my zingers to you and then I would
never behave badly and you could behave
badly all the time and we'd both be
happy? On the other hand, I must warn
you that when you finally have the
pleasure of saying the thing you mean to
say at the moment you mean to say it,
remorse inevitably follows. Do you think
we should meet?
INT. KATHLEEN'S COMPUTER SCREEN AND BEDROOM - DAY
Kathleen stares at Joe's letter in her computer.
She's frozen.
KATHLEEN
Meet? Omigod.
She sits staring at the letter. She has no idea what to do.
EXT. 75TH STREET & COLUMBUS - DAY
As the iron gates on all the stores start to open, just the
way we saw them open in the opening sequence of the movie.
The pharmacy. The optician. The cosmetics supply store.
The video store.
And now, finally, we see the new grate on the new Foxbooks
Superstore start to open upwards. This is the finest grate
on Broadway, no question of it. It's electric and almost
soundless. We see a sign saying, OPENING DAY. 35% OFF ON
ALL BEST-SELLERS.
People on the street notice the store. One walks in...
CAMERA follows him...
INT. FOXBOOKS SUPERSTORE - DAY
The inside is beautiful. Gleaning staircase, a cafe,
comfortable chairs to sit, a bank of cashiers, everyone
decked out in gray alligator shirts with a fox where the
alligator should be, a rope for the checkout line, and seven
cash registers with seven cashiers. Of course, books, books,
books, as far as the eye can see.
MATCH DISSOLVE TO:
INT. SAME SCENE - LATER THAT DAY
The store is jam-packed. Joe with his father Nelson, his
grandfather Schuyler, and Kevin, the store manager.
JOE
No pickets, no demonstrations.
KEVIN
The neighborhood loves us.
NELSON
They're wondering where we've been all
these years. They're wondering how they
ever did without it.
SCHUYLER
It's a hit.
They admire their own store, walk through the downstairs and
start up the staircase to the second floor.
NELSON
How's the children's book department?
JOE
It's early yet. School isn't out. And
there's that children's bookstore nearby
--
SCHUYLER
Cecilia's store --
JOE
Her daughter's --
NELSON
We'll crush it --
SCHUYLER
She was enchanting.
And as they walk on upstairs, several mothers with children
come up the stairs behind them.
EXT. BROADWAY - MORNING
A little group of children dressed as Pilgrims walk down the
street as Kathleen comes around the corner to buy her morning
paper. Joe is at the newsstand. She turns and pretends to
be staring at a wall until he finishes buying his paper and
walks on.
KATHLEEN (V.O.)
I don't think it's a good idea for us
to meet...
INT. STARBUCKS - ANOTHER DAY
Joe is putting sugar into his coffee at the sugar counter as
Kathleen comes in. He pretends he didn't see her.
KATHLEEN (V.O., cont'd)
I love our relationship. There's a lot
going on in the day-to-dayness of my life
and there's something magical...
INT. SHOP AROUND THE CORNER - DUSK
We see Kathleen and George at the end of the day, counting
the receipts. Birdie is using a calculator to total them.
Christina is shelving books. There are Thanksgiving
decorations -- cardboard turkeys and pilgrims, books on
colonists like Myles Standish.
KATHLEEN (V.O., cont'd)
... and thrilling about this island in
cyberspace I have with you. SO PLEASE
DON'T ASK ME AGAIN.
BIRDIE
About $1200 less than the same week last
year.
KATHLEEN
That could be a fluke, right?
They look at each other.
BIRDIE
Or not.
KATHLEEN
Their store is new. It's a novelty. But
it will all shake out. Do you think I
should put up more twinkle lights?
BIRDIE
That's a lovely idea.
CHRISTINA
What if we have to fold? I'll never find
another part time job and I won't be able
to pay the rent and I'll have to move to
Brooklyn.
GEORGE
The joy of rent control. Six room for
$450 a month.
CHRISTINA
We know. You've told us a million times.
I can't believe you're bringing it up at
a time like this. It's like bragging
because you're tall. Birdie never brags
about her rent and she pays even less
than you.
BIRDIE
Ten rooms. I just rattle around from one
to the other.
KATHLEEN
Hey, guys. We are not going to fold.
The door opens, and Meredith Carter, the woman George had
swooned over in front of his building, walks in.
George stares, frozen in place, as she walks up to him.
MEREDITH
George Pappas?
GEORGE
(I have died and gone to
heaven)
Yes.
MEREDITH
(flashing her badge)
Detective Carter, 23rd precinct. I'd
like to ask you a few questions.
Kathleen suddenly sees George, following Meredith out of the
store. He's in a complete daze.
KATHLEEN
George? Where are you going?
He goes out the door.
LAURA MARGULIES, a well-known children's book author, enters
as George leaves.
LAURA
Kathleen, are you surviving?
KATHLEEN
Laura! We're so excited about your new
book. When should we schedule your
signing?
LAURA
Oh, it's being published in January.
Are you going to be in business in
January? I'm so worried.
KATHLEEN
We're doing great, aren't we?
CHRISTINA
Great.
BIRDIE
No difference whatsoever.
LAURA
Thank God. Well, you know you can count
on me. For anything, support, rallies.
Picket lines. We can get the Times to
write something. Or that nut in the
Independent --
KATHLEEN
What nut in the Independent?
LAURA
Frank Navasky. This is just the sort of
thing that would outrage him.
She smiles brightly.
INT. COFFEE SHOP - DAY
George and Meredith are sitting in a booth.
MEREDITH
Mr. Pappas, I'm investigating the murder
of the woman found on the roof of your
building. Do you live alone there?
GEORGE
Do I live alone? Yes I do. Do you live
alone?
MEREDITH
Yes.
George takes her hand in his and looks at it as if it were
the eighth wonder of the world. He starts stroking it,
caressing it...
Meredith pulls it away. A beat. Then she gives it right
back to him. He continues stroking. They stare at each
other. He puts her fingers into his mouth.
MEREDITH
(overwhelmed)
What are you doing?
GEORGE
I don't know. I have no idea.
MEREDITH
You have to stop.
GEORGE
I can't.
She utters a little moan.
INT. GEORGE'S APARTMENT - A SHORT WHILE LATER
They come into the apartment. She throws herself into his
arms.
EXT. RIVERSIDE DRIVE PARK - DAY
As Christina runs, desperately trying to make eye contact
with men running in the opposite direction. No one will look
at her.
INT. ZABAR'S CHEESE DEPARTMENT - NIGHT
The place is mobbed -- the usual crush the night before
Thanksgiving.
Kathleen, pushing a shopping cart, is trying to wedge her way
through the crowd in the cheese department. As she reaches
across three people to grab some Brie, she sees Joe walk into
the store. Quickly, she turns her back so he can't see her.
She stands there frozen. A beat...
Peeks around, doesn't see him anywhere. Cranes her neck this
way and that. No Joe.
INT. ZABAR'S CASHIER AREA - CONTINUOUS
Kathleen, now wearing dark glasses but looking not at all
disguised, looks around and spots a short line and makes a
beeline for it.
At that moment, Joe comes from the Appetizing Department and
gets on the line she was heading for.
Panicked, Kathleen retreats onto another line and stands with
her back to him.
INT. SAME SCENE - MOMENTS LATER
The CASHIER totals up Kathleen's purchases and Kathleen hands
over her credit card.
CASHIER
This is a Cash Only line.
KATHLEEN
What?
CASHIER
Cash Only.
KATHLEEN
Omigod, I only have a credit card. Is
that okay?
PERSON BEHIND HER IN LINE
Of course it's not okay, there's a sign.
CASHIER
There's a sign.
PERSON IN LINE
(to the person behind her)
She doesn't have cash.
"She doesn't have cash" is repeated all the way down the
line.
Joe turns to see what's going on.
ANOTHER PERSON
Get on another line, lady.
JOE
Oh, hello.
KATHLEEN
Hello.
JOE
Do you need some money?
KATHLEEN
No, I don't need any money. Thank you
very much.
CASHIER
Get on another line.
JOE
Hi.
(off her nametag, big smile)
Rose. Great name. Rose, this is
Kathleen, I'm Joe, and this is a credit
card machine. Happy Thanksgiving.
Rose just stares at him.
JOE (cont'd)
Now it's your turn to say happy
Thanksgiving back.
ROSE
Happy Thanksgiving back.
Joe looks at her, winks.
JOE
Mississippi is a hard word to spell. How
do you spell it? I-T.
(big smile)
Now take this credit card and put it
through the machine, zip zip.
The cashier, completely charmed, takes Kathleen's credit
card.
Kathleen is appalled.
Everyone on the line signs irritably and audibly.
JOE
So you're fine.
KATHLEEN
Fine.
JOE
Happy Thanksgiving.
As Kathleen signs the charge slip and the cashier exasperatedly
starts to put her groceries into a bag.
INT. JOE'S FATHER'S APARTMENT - THANKSGIVING DAY
An elegant East Side apartment. Schuyler, his youngish
French wife, YVETTE, Nelson, Gillian and their child Matt,
and Joe are sitting and listening as Annabel sings Tomorrow.
ANNABEL
The sun'll come up tomorrow, bet your
bottom dollar that tomorrow, there'll be
sun --
Joe is on a loveseat with Matt. Gillian lifts Matt up, sits
down in his place next to Joe and plunks Matt into her lap.
Nelson is already seated in a chair in front of the loveseat
and can't see her without turning around.
As she continues singing, Gillian moves her hand next to
Joe's leg. Joe edges away. He looks around the room, sees
Nanny Maureen standing behind the couch. He stands, offers
her his seat. She sits.
INT. KATHLEEN'S LIVING ROOM - DAY
A much more informal Thanksgiving dinner. We see the
leftovers on a sideboard near a round table in Kathleen's
living room.
Kathleen, Frank, Birdie, Christina, George and George's new
girlfriend, Meredith and TWO OTHER FRIENDS are standing
around the upright piano. Birdie is playing a Christmas
song, and everyone is singing.
As the singing continues, over, we cut to:
EXT. FOXBOOKS SUPERSTORE - DECEMBER DAY
As the Christmas decorations and twinkle lights go into the
window.
Birdie walks by the store. She stops to look at the
customers inside, and then notices a sign in the window:
"Book Signing January 10 - Best Selling Children's Author
Laura Margulies." There's a picture of Laura Margulies.
EXT. SHOP AROUND THE CORNER - DECEMBER DUSK
Kathleen is in the window decorating a little tree with
lovely decorations from a box. Two people are carrying a
tree home, there's the sound of church bells.
Kathleen looks up as a couple of people walk past the store,
carrying Foxbooks shopping bags.
Then she unwraps a pair of ruby slipper ornaments, and as she
starts to hang them on the tree we hear the sound of the
computer.
KATHLEEN (V.O.)
This is such an odd Christmas. I find
myself missing my mother, who's been dead
for ten years. New York at Christmas is
so loaded with all the things we used to
do --
INT. NEW YORK STATE THEATER - 1972 - DAY
As Young Kathleen, dressed in a little velvet dress, sits in
the audience next to her mother watching the ballet.
KATHLEEN (V.O. cont'd)
-- going to the Nutcracker --
EXT. ROCKEFELLER CENTER SKATING RINK - 1972 - DAY
KATHLEEN (V.O. cont'd)
-- ice skating at Rockefeller Center,
where I was knocked into a 6-year-old
maniac --
A SIX-YEAR-OLD BOY knocks into her.
YOUNG KATHLEEN
Hey, watch out --
SIX-YEAR-OLD BOY
Me watch out, why don't you watch out?
I'm not sliding around like a baby. You
think I come here to skate with babies?
Young Kathleen's jaw drops and she stands there tongue-tied.
KATHLEEN (V.O.)
My first experience as a speechless
person.
Her mother skates up and takes her hand. The boy skates off.
KATHLEEN (V.O.)
I always miss my mother at Christmas, but
somehow it's worse this year since I need
some advice from her.
And we hear the sound of another computer.
INT. JOE'S DEN
As he replies to Kathleen.
JOE (V.O.)
My mother took me ice skating too --
EXT. ROCKEFELLER CENTER SKATING RINK - DAY
We see a little boy, YOUNG JOE, 8, skate past holding someone's
hand --
JOE (V.O., cont'd)
-- although my mother did not skate. The
nanny skated --
And we now see JOE'S NANNY, a young Sonja Henie, who suddenly
peels off into a series of triple lutzes, as JOE'S MOTHER
absently reads a copy of Vogue in the spectators' section.
INT. LINCOLN CENTER THEATER - 1972 - DAY
JOE (V.O.)
And I was in the Nutcracker.
We see the stage now. There's Young Joe, among the children
at the Christmas party.
JOE (V.O., cont'd)
So was my nanny.
As JOE'S NANNY #2 pirouettes past.
JOE (V.O., cont'd)
Different nanny. By the way, I'm
surprised you aren't a writer. Although
you probably are a writer and don't
know it. Are you a writer and I don't
know it?
INT. JOE'S APARTMENT - 1972 - NIGHT
Young Joe, at the dinner table with his father. A wide shot
of a big room with a huge table and servants. Joe looks very
small at the table as he eats his soup.
JOE (V.O., cont'd)
My mother died when I was ten. I was
staying with my father, who is not famous
for intimacy, and whose way of breaking
the news of her death was to tell me she
would not be coming to pick me up as
usual. It was a car accident, and I
don't know where she was going or who she
was with, and I assume what I owe her is
my tendency to cover almost any emotion
with a joke. A useful gift, unless you
want to know what you're feeling. She
was very beautiful. People toss that
word around a lot, but my mother was.
The camera moves closer to the dining table. We see that
tears are rolling down little Joe's cheeks.
INT. JOE'S DEN - NIGHT
Joe stops typing. He is surprised to find his eyes watering.
A moment of confusion as he cannot believe he has moved
himself to tears. Shakes his head, shakes the emotion off.
Starts typing again.
JOE (V.O., cont'd)
Ancient history. So what kind of advice
do you need? Can I help?
INT. KATHLEEN'S BEDROOM - DAY
Kathleen in bed with her laptop reading Joe's letter.
She starts to type a response.
Suddenly there's harp arpeggio and an Instant Message
flashes on screen.
From NY 152
CLOSE ON KATHLEEN - TOTAL SHOCK
ON SCREEN AS WE SEE THE MESSAGE
JOE (V.O.)
I had a gut feeling you would be on line
now.
INT. JOE'S BEDROOM - DAY
Joe is in bed with his laptop. And cut back and forth
between them and their computer screens as they type Instant
Messages to one another. Possible split screens.
JOE (V.O., cont'd)
I can give you advice. I'm great at
advice.
KATHLEEN (V.O.)
I don't think you can help.
JOE (V.O.)
Is it about love?
KATHLEEN (V.O.)
My business is in trouble. My mother
would have something wise to say.
JOE (V.O.)
I'm a brilliant businessman. It's what
I do best. What's your business?
KATHLEEN (V.O.)
No specifics, remember?
JOE (V.O.)
Minus specifics, it's hard to help.
Except to say, go to the mattresses.
KATHLEEN (V.O.)
What?
JOE (V.O.)
It's from The Godfather. It means you
have to go to war.
CLOSE ON KATHLEEN - LOOKING AT THE COMPUTER
KATHLEEN
(to herself)
The Godfather?
She starts to type.
KATHLEEN (V.O.)
What is it with men and The Godfather?
JOE (V.O.)
The Godfather is the I Ching. The
Godfather is the sum of all wisdom. The
Godfather is the answer to any question.
What should I pack for my summer
vacation? "Leave the gun, take the
cannoli." What day of the week is it?
"Maunday, Tuesday, Thursday, Wednesday."
And the answer to your question is "Go to
the mattresses."
(continued)
CAMERA ON KATHLEEN - CONSIDERING WHAT HE SAYS
JOE (cont'd)
You're at war. "It's not personal, it's
business. It's not personal it's
business." Recite that to yourself every
time you feel you're losing your nerve.
I know you worry about being brave, this
is your chance. Fight. Fight to the
death.
INT. JOE'S APARTMENT - DAY
Patricia comes in as Joe is waiting for Kathleen's response.
PATRICIA
Look what I bought.
Joe types "Ciao" and signs off. Looks up to see Patricia
showing him a Plexiglas menorah.
PATRICIA
I was just passing this store on Columbus
Avenue and it caught my eye.
JOE
What is it?
PATRICIA
A Menorah.
JOE
It doesn't look like a Menorah.
PATRICIA
I know. I don't know what came over me.
I don't even celebrate Hanukkah.
INT. KATHLEEN'S BEDROOM - DAY
As Kathleen logs off, Frank comes in.
KATHLEEN
Frank, I've decided to go to the
mattresses. Do you think it would be a
gigantic conflict of interest if you
wrote something about us?
INT. THE SHOP AROUND THE CORNER - DAY
It's January. The store is more crowded than we've seen it.
Frank is there with several copies of the Independent. The
phone is ringing off the hook. Christina and George are
fielding calls. Birdie is reading Frank's article.
BIRDIE
(reading)
"Kathleen Kelly and her mother Cecilia
Kelly have raised your children. If this
precious resource is killed by the cold
cash cow of Foxbooks, it will not only be
the end of Western civilization as we
know it, but the end of something even
dearer: our neighborhood as we know it.
Save the Shop Around the Corner and you
will save your own soul." Frank, that's
charming.
FRANK
You think it's a little over the top?
BIRDIE
Just say thank you.
FRANK
Thank you.
CHRISTINA
(calling to Kathleen)
Channel 2's outside.
INT. BACK ROOM - THE SHOP AROUND THE CORNER - SAME TIME
Kathleen is primping in a tiny wall mirror. She takes a deep
breath.
KATHLEEN
In a second.
GEORGE
(from the other room)
The Village Voice is coming.
KATHLEEN
Omigod.
Frank sticks his head in.
FRANK
(in shock)
It's him.
KATHLEEN
Who?
FRANK
God. It is God.
INT. SHOP AROUND THE CORNER - CONTINUOUS
Kathleen comes out of the storage room.
William Spungeon is standing there.
WILLIAM SPUNGEON
I'm William Spungeon.
KATHLEEN
I'm very pleased to meet you. I'm
Kathleen Kelly.
Frank is practically levitating.
SPUNGEON
I knew your mother. Although she knew me
only as W. That enormous bookstore is
obscene.
FRANK
I'm Frank Navasky. I carry your picture
in my wallet.
He pulls it out. Spungeon looks at him like he's crazy.
KATHLEEN
We've organized pickets. Channel 13 is
doing a special.
SPUNGEON
I'd be glad to talk to the press if it's
all right with you. They've been trying
to interview me for years.
FRANK
The press? I'm the press.
KATHLEEN
You'd allow that? For me? For the
store? That's incredible. Although you
wouldn't have to be photographed. I
respect that. If it's television, they
could just put one of those blurry dots
in front of your face.
SPUNGEON
No television.
CHRISTINA
(referring to the TV crew)
They're waiting for you --
FRANK
I know all your books. Phaelox the
gnome, the little man who comes from
nowhere... and is going nowhere...
(quoting)
"Where did you come from?" "Nowhere."
"Where are you going?" "Nowhere."
SPUNGEON
Cool it. I'm starting to break out in
hives.
(to Kathleen)
Here's my phone number.
KATHLEEN
I had no idea William Spugeon had a
phone.
SPUNGEON
Adios.
He gives a little wave and leaves.
FRANK
This is historic.
(beat)
Do you realize what I've done? By
writing that piece, do you realize?
I've brought William Spungeon in from
the cold. Holy shit. I am completely
amazing.
At that moment a TV REPORTER sticks her head into the store.
TV REPORTER
Kathleen Kelly?
Kathleen takes a deep breath, walks out the door.
EXT. SHOP AROUND THE CORNER - A FEW MINUTES LATER
CHANNEL 2 TV REPORTER
Are you ready, Miss Kelly?
KATHLEEN
Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes.
CHANNEL 2 TV REPORTER
What?
KATHLEEN
Never mind. I'm ready. Shoot.
INT. TELEVISION SCREEN - THAT NIGHT
CHANNEL 2 TV REPORTER
We're here in front of the Shop Around
the Corner, the famous West Side
children's bookstore now on the verge of
having to close its doors because the big
bad wolf, Foxbooks, has opened only a few
hundred feet away, wooing customers with
its sharp discounts and designer coffee.
KATHLEEN
They have to have discounts and lattes,
because most of the people who work there
have never read a book.
And pull back now to reveal that we're in:
INT. GYM - NIGHT
Five TV sets are on, over adjoining treadmills, Joe and
Kevin are on two of the treadmills, walking and watching.
JOE
She's not as nice as she seems on
television.
KEVIN
You've met her?
JOE
She's kind of a pill.
KEVIN
She's probably not as attractive as she
seems on television either.
JOE
No, she's beautiful. But a pill.
KEVIN
So you don't feel bad about basically
destroying her livelihood not to mention
her legacy not to mention her raison
d'etre.
JOE
It's not personal --
KEVIN
It's business.
JOE
Right. Exactly.
They look up at the television.
INT. TELEVISION SCREEN - CONTINUOUS
Joe onscreen, with a super: Joe Fox, Vice-President Foxbooks.
JOE
I sell cheap books. Sue me. I sell
cheap books, and as a result -- listen
to this, because it's really bad --
more people can buy books.
The show immediately cuts back to the newscaster.
On Joe and Kevin.
KEVIN
That's what you said?
JOE
(outraged)
That's not all I said. I said -- I can't
believe those bastards -- I said we were
great, I said people can come and sit and
read for hours and no one bothers them, I
said we stock 150,000 titles, I showed
them the New York City section. I said
we were a goddamn piazza where people
could mingle and mix and be.
KEVIN
A piazza?
JOE
I was eloquent. Shit. It's just
inevitable, isn't it? People are going
to want to turn her into Joan of Arc --
KEVIN
-- and you into Attila the Hun.
JOE
Well it's not me personally, it's more
like it's the company --
KATHLEEN
(on the television)
And I have to say, I have met Joe Fox,
who owns Foxbooks, and I have heard him
compared his store to a Price Club and the
books in it to cans of olive oil.
On Joe, reacting.
EXT. SHOP AROUND THE CORNER
A small rally is taking place, with picket signs. Kathleen
is standing on a small speaker's platform, along with the
Borough President.
KATHLEEN
My mother used to say to me that every
book you sell is a gift from the
heart...
EXT. FOXBOOKS - DAY
As 20 CHILDREN march in front of the store, holding little
makeshift picket signs and singing songs. "One, two, three,
four, we don't want this Superstore."
Customers go right through the line and into the store.
INT. FOXBOOKS SUPERSTORE - DAY
We can hear the pickets marching and singing outside --
although the store is full of customers anyway. The Fox men
-- Joe, Nelson and Schuyler -- are sitting in the cafe.
Nelson is holding a copy of a weekly newspaper, which has the
old high-school yearbook picture of William Spungeon on the
front page and a headline: William Spungeon Emerges from
Hiding to Support Bookstore.
SCHUYLER
Who is this Spungeon anyway?
JOE
He's a writer.
NELSON
Well, I've never heard of him. And
neither has anyone else in this place.
INT. TV SET - NIGHT
As we see SIDNEY-ANN STRONGIN, a young and attractive PBS
talk show hostess for a show called Inside Media.
SIDNEY-ANN
The New York Literary world was shocked
this week when William Spungeon, the most
famously reclusive author since J.D.
Salinger, announced that he was coming
out of hiding because of his loyalty to a
small children's bookstore on the West
Side of Manhattan. Discussing this
tonight is a man I happen to think of as
one of this city's most underappreciated
assets, Frank Navasky.
FRANK
Thank you.
SIDNEY-ANN
This all happened because of you, didn't
it --
FRANK
Well, I knew William Spungeon loved
children's books so I wrote a provocative
column --
SIDNEY-ANN
Your specialty.
Frank laughs. Sidney-Ann laughs.
FRANK
And it kind of smoked him out.
INT. KATHLEEN'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
As she and Frank watch the television show.
FRANK ON TELEVISION
Technologically speaking, the world's
out of hand. Take the VCR. The whole
idea of a VCR is that it makes it possible
for you to tape what's on television
while you're out of the house. But the
whole point of being out of the house is
so you can miss what's on television.
Radio. Now there's a medium I can get
behind.
SIDNEY-ANN ON TELEVISION
Well, we're on television... and you're
good at it.
FRANK ON TELEVISION
Thank you.
Another little moment between them.
SIDNEY-ANN ON TELEVISION
The bookstore. Tell us about it.
FRANK ON TELEVISION
Are you planning to collect radios?
SIDNEY-ANN ON TELEVISION
Do you think I should?
FRANK ON TELEVISION
The Shop Around the Corner is a true New
York treasure.
SIDNEY-ANN ON TELEVISION
As are you. I'd love to have you back.
FRANK ON TELEVISION
Any time. Are we done?
SIDNEY-ANN ON TELEVISION
Not at all.
FRANK ON TELEVISION
Because I just want to say that the only
show I do watch is yours.
KATHLEEN
(appalled)
Omigod.
FRANK
Hey, I was just being polite. Okay, I
admit, I slobbered all over her.
The show continues.
EXT. SHOP AROUND THE CORNER - DUSK
As we see Kathleen flip the open sign to closed.
INT. SHOP AROUND THE CORNER - DUSK
George is talking to Kathleen and Birdie, who is toting up
the week's receipts.
GEORGE
And I can't decide whether to put
sausages into the meat sauce or just
chopped meat. Last time I made it,
Detective Carter and I never even sat
down to dinner because --
(he makes some sort of hand
gesture indicating that sex
prevented them from dining)
and last night, I made margaritas in the
blender, and I took the ice cube and --
BIRDIE
Spare us.
George goes out the door.
Birdie looks at Kathleen.
KATHLEEN
Don't tell me. Not the slightest
difference?
Birdie can't bring herself to answer.
KATHLEEN (cont'd)
How could that be? All this publicity
and not one bit of difference?
Oh Birdie, what am I going to do? What
would Mom have done?
BIRDIE
Let's ask her.
She opens the locket hanging around her neck. There's a
picture of Kathleen's mother inside it. Birdie holds the
locket up to her face.
BIRDIE
Cecilia, what should we do?
Birdie holds the locket to her ear and listens. A pause.
KATHLEEN
Birdie?
BIRDIE
Shhhh.
(after a beat, shrugs)
She has no idea, but she thinks the
window display is lovely. Good night
dearie.
Birdie smiles and picks up her shopping bag, goes out the
door.
EXT. SHOP AROUND THE CORNER - NIGHT
It's starting to rain. Kathleen lowers the grate over the
store. As she turns to walk away, William Spungeon steps in
her path out of the shadows.
KATHLEEN
Oh my goodness, hello. What are you
doing here.
SPUNGEON
Loitering. Lurking. Skulking.
Stalking.
He laughs. So does she. Dramatically, he whips out an
umbrella and opens it over the two of them.
SPUNGEON (cont'd)
You look very beautiful.
KATHLEEN
Thank you. But I'm a wreck.
He touches her cheek suddenly. Kathleen starts. Then he
blows on his hand.
SPUNGEON
An eyelash. It's gone.
Kathleen relaxes. They start walking.
KATHLEEN
Are you writing another book?
SPUNGEON
I'm in the home stretch. I'll be done in
approximately six more years.
KATHLEEN
Should I discount?
SPUNGEON
It's about a man on a quest for knowledge
who meets a woman he cannot resist.
KATHLEEN
If I discount I have to fire someone
because I can't discount with this
overhead but whom could I fire? I
couldn't fire anyone.
Spungeon suddenly puts his hand through Kathleen's hair. She
stops, frozen in place.
SPUNGEON
You have your mother's hair. Thick,
wild, the color of Nebraska wheat.
He grabs her and tries to kiss her.
KATHLEEN
What are you doing? Let me go.
He backs her into a wall.
KATHLEEN
Stop it. Are you crazy?
She kicks him in the shins, wiggles free and runs away.
SPUNGEON
(calling after her)
If you change your mind, you can E-mail
me. Hermit@AOL.com.
INT. COMPUTER SCREEN - NIGHT
The mail form says "To:" and Kathleen types in "NY 152".
The form says "Re:" and Kathleen types in: "Advice"
EXT. KATHLEEN'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Rain is falling.
KATHLEEN (V.O.)
I need help. Do you still want to meet
me?
EXT. JOE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Rain is falling.
We hear the sound of the computer.
JOE (V.O.)
"Where? When?"
INT. NUT SHOP OF BROADWAY - DAY
George, Kathleen and Christina in the shop. Kathleen is
buying more lollipops.
KATHLEEN
We're meeting in a public place.
CHRISTINA
Well don't go anywhere with him. Don't
even go out to the street with him
afterwards. Get a dial cab to just sit
there and wait for you.
GEORGE
Did you tell Frank?
KATHLEEN
There's nothing to tell.
CHRISTINA
But did you tell him?
KATHLEEN
He's away. At the 32nd anniversary of
the Chicago Seven trial.
GEORGE
And he's gone to a place where there are
no phones. Do you even know this guy's
name?
Kathleen shakes her head no.
CHRISTINA
And you're going to meet him in a bar?
KATHLEEN
Not a bar. That place on 83rd with the
cheesecake.
GEORGE
And he will wear a flower in his lapel,
and you will be carrying a copy of Anna
Karenina with a rose in it.
No answer.
CHRISTINA
Oh God, no.
KATHLEEN
Not Anna Karenina. Pride and Prejudice.
EXT. FOXBOOKS - NIGHT
As Joe and Kevin walk out of the store and start downtown.
KEVIN
I suppose she's carrying a copy of a book
with a flower in it.
Joe doesn't say anything.
KEVIN
Not really.
JOE
Really.
KEVIN
Which Jane Austen is it?
JOE
Pride and Prejudice.
KEVIN
She could be a real dog.
JOE
I know. Look, I'll just stay ten
minutes. I'll say hello. Drink a cup of
coffee and split. I'm outta here.
He looks at Kevin.
JOE (cont'd)
Walk me there, okay?
EXT. 83RD STREET - NIGHT
As the two men walk toward Cafe Lalo, the European cafe on
West 83rd Street.
JOE
What if she has a really high, squeaky
voice? I hate that. It reminds me of
those mice in Cinderella.
KEVIN
What mice in Cinderella?
JOE
Gus-gus and oh shit, I can't remember the
other one. Why am I compelled to meet
her? I'm just ruining a good thing.
KEVIN
You're taking it to the next level. I
always do that. I always take a
relationship to the next level, and if it
works okay I take it to the next level
after that, until I can finally get to
the level where it becomes absolutely
necessary for me to leave.
JOE
I'm not going to stay long anyway. I
already said that, didn't I. Christ.
I'm a total wreck.
As they reach:
EXT. CAFE LALO - CONTINUOUS
Joe stops and looks at Kevin.
JOE
Kevin, this woman is the most adorable
creature I have ever come in contact
with. If she turns out to be even as
good-looking as a mailbox, I will be
crazy not to turn my life upside down
and marry her.
KEVIN
She could be a real dog.
JOE
(a total panic)
You go look.
KEVIN
Me?
JOE
Just go to the window and check her out.
KEVIN
You're pathetic.
Kevin goes to the window and looks inside.
EXT. CAFE LALO - NIGHT
Joe and Kevin in front.
Kevin looks in the window.
JOE
See her?
KEVIN
There's a beautiful, whoa, a very
beautiful girl.
JOE
Yes.
KEVIN
But no book. Let me see, let me see...
Wait a minute. There's a book with a
flower, so it must be her.
JOE
What does he look like?
KEVIN
There's a waiter blocking, I can't see
her face. He's serving her a cup of tea
and she's putting in three spoonfuls of
sugar --
JOE
Well, why shouldn't she?
KEVIN
No reason. Unless she has hypoglycemia.
Oh, he's moving.
JOE
Can you see her?
KEVIN
Yes.
JOE
And? --
KEVIN
(clearly frustrated)
She's very pretty.
JOE
She is. I knew she would be. She had
to be.
KEVIN
She looks... I would say she has a little
of the coloring of that Kathleen Kelly
person.
JOE
Kathleen Kelly of the bookstore.
KEVIN
Why not? You said you thought she was
attractive.
JOE
So what? Who cares about Kathleen Kelly?
KEVIN
Well, if you don't like Kathleen Kelly,
I can tell you right now you ain't gonna
like this girl.
JOE
Why not?
KEVIN
Because it is Kathleen Kelly.
Joe elbows Kevin aside and looks.
JOE
Oh, God.
A long beat.
KEVIN
What are you going to do?
JOE
Nothing.
KEVIN
You're going to let her just wait there?
JOE
Yes. Yes I am. That's exactly what I'm
going to do. Why not?
KEVIN
But she wrote the letters.
JOE
Good night, Kevin. I'll see you
tomorrow.
He walks away, leaving Kevin.
Kevin stares after him. Then he walks away in the other
direction.
INT. CAFE LALO - CONTINUOUS
Kathleen, sitting alone, at a table for two, is drinking her
tea. She's starting to feel a little foolish. She checks
her watch.
A loud, boisterous group comes in and sits at the table next
to hers. They're laughing. A man from the group grabs the
empty chair at Kathleen's table.
MAN
Do you mind?
Kathleen jumps up.
KATHLEEN
Oh, yes. I'm expecting someone.
Please.
She takes the chair back. Sits down again. She watches the
group as they playfully fight over the menus.
She checks her watch again. Then she opens her copy of Pride
and Prejudice and looks at it. She can't focus.
A man comes into the restaurant and she looks up hopefully at
him. But he's going to meet another group of people.
As he passes her table, he knocks the book and the flower
onto the floor.
KATHLEEN
Oh!
She jumps up and rescues the book and flower as if they were
precious china.
In the window, now, behind her, Joe appears. He watches, as
she rearranges the book and the flower.
He disappears from sight.
A beat...
He walks in the door.
JOE
Kathleen Kelly. Hello. What a
coincidence. Mind if I sit down?
KATHLEEN
Yes I do. I'm expecting someone.
Joe picks up her book, looks at it.
JOE
Pride and Prejudice.
Kathleen grabs it back.
KATHLEEN
Do you mind?
She places it back on the table, puts the rose into it.
JOE
I didn't know you were a Jane Austen
fan. Not that it's a surprise. I bet
you read it every year. I bet you just
love Mr. Darcy, and that your sentimental
heart beats wildly at the thought that he
and whatever her name is are really,
honestly and truly going to end up
together.
KATHLEEN
Would you please leave?
Joe sits down.
KATHLEEN
Please?
JOE
I'll get up as soon as your friend comes.
Is he late?
KATHLEEN
The heroine of Pride and Prejudice is
Elizabeth Bennet and she's one of the
greatest, most complex characters ever
written, not that you would know.
JOE
As a matter of fact I've read it.
KATHLEEN
Well, good for you.
JOE
I think you'd discover a lot of things if
you really knew me.
KATHLEEN
If I really knew you, I know what I would
find -- instead of a brain, a cash
register, instead of a heart, a bottom
line.
Kathleen is shocked at herself.
JOE
What is it?
KATHLEEN
I just had a breakthrough, and I have to
thank you for it. For the first time in
my life, when confronted with a horrible,
insensitive person I actually knew what I
wanted to say and I said it.
JOE
I think you have a gift for it. It was a
splendid mixture of poetry and meanness.
KATHLEEN
Meanness? Let me tell you --
JOE
Don't misunderstand me, I'm just paying
you a compliment.
He lifts the book off the table. Kathleen grabs for it.
KATHLEEN
Why are you doing this?
She manages to get the book, leaving Joe with the rose.
JOE
What have we have? A red, no, crimson
rose, tucked into the pages. Something
you read about in a book, no doubt. One
of those books with a lady in a nightgown
on the cover about to throw herself off a
cliff.
She holds her hand out for it.
KATHLEEN (cont'd)
Give it to me.
Joe puts it between his mouth and his nose like a mustache.
JOE
It's a joke to you, isn't it?
Everything's a joke to you.
She grabs the rose. Puts it back in the book.
KATHLEEN (cont'd)
Please leave. I beg you.
He stands up, walks from the table, sits down at the very
next table, with his back to her.
The door to the restaurant opens. Kathleen looks at it
hopefully. A pleasant looking man, who's immediately joined
by a pleasant looking woman.
For a moment, Kathleen looks just a little droopy, as if the
wind has just gone out of her sails. She takes out her
compact, looks into her mirror. She slides it over to look
behind her, at him, just as he's looking sideways at her. He
turns away suddenly.
Then she blots her lipstick with her handkerchief.
JOE
You know what the handkerchief reminds
me of? The first day I met you --
KATHLEEN
The first day you lied to me --
JOE
I didn't lie to you --
KATHLEEN
You did too --
JOE
I did not --
KATHLEEN
I thought all that Fox stuff was so
charming. F-O-X.
JOE
I never lied about it --
KATHLEEN
"Joe. Just call me Joe." As if you were
one of those stupid 22-year-old girls
with no last name. "Hi, I'm Kimberley."
"Hi, I'm Janice." What's wrong with
them? Don't they know you're supposed to
have last names? It's like they're a
whole generation of cocktail waitresses.
She stops herself -- it's a tangent she never meant to go off
on. But Joe has stood up and seated himself back at her
table.
JOE
I am not a stupid 22-year-old girl --
KATHLEEN
That's not what I meant --
JOE
And when I said the thing about the Price
Club and cans of olive oil, that wasn't
what I meant either --
KATHLEEN
Oh, you poor sad multimillionaire. I
feel so sorry for you.
The door opens and a large and very attractive TRANSVESTITE
in a boa comes in the door.
JOE
I am going to take a wild guess that this
isn't him, either. Who is he, I wonder.
Not, I gather, the world's greatest
living expert on Julius and Ethel
Rosenberg, but someone else entirely.
Will you be you be mean to him too? Will
you start out sweet as sugar candy and
then suddenly, miraculously, like a bolt
from the blue, find that sharp little
tongue of yours?
KATHLEEN
No, I won't. Because the man who's
coming here tonight is completely unlike
you. The man who is coming here is kind
and funny -- he has the most wonderful
sense of humor --
JOE
But he's not here.
KATHLEEN
If he's not here, he has a reason,
because there is not a cruel or careless
bone in his body. I can't expect you to
know anything about a person like that.
You've nothing but a suit.
A beat. Joe gets up.
JOE
That is my cue. Good night.
Joe leaves.
EXT. KATHLEEN'S APARTMENT BUILDING -- LATER THAT NIGHT
Kathleen comes down the street. She drops the rose in the
trash can.
INT. KATHLEEN'S APARTMENT - A MINUTE LATER
Kathleen comes in, drops the book on the table, takes off her
coat and goes immediately to the computer. She clicks on
American Online. Waits impatiently to connect. Looks with
anticipation at the mail box.
THE COMPUTER SCREEN - NO MAIL
Hold on Kathleen as a tear starts down her face.
She takes her handkerchief out of her sleeve and wipes her
face and blows her nose. Then looks at her handkerchief and
tosses it over her shoulder.
She goes over to the bed and turns it down and slips out of
her shoes.
Then she lies down on the bed, fully clothed. She reaches
up to turn out the light.
INT. JOE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
As Joe turns on his closet light and hangs up his jacket.
The computer is on the desk, and the light on it illuminates
the room.
Patricia is in the next room, eating matzos.
PATRICIA (O.C.)
So I said to her, "If you think I will
even talk to you about paying that kind
of advance for an author whose last book
is being used as trivets all over the
world, you are completely crazy."
On Joe's face, barely bearing.
INT. FOXBOOKS SUPERSTORE - DAY
As Kevin and Joe walk through the store.
KEVIN
But underneath that disagreeable exterior
she could turn out to be --
JOE
A real bitch. Let's not talk about it.
I'm going back to the office. You must
have work to do.
KEVIN
Not really. This place is humming like a
top.
EXT. SHOP AROUND THE CORNER - DAY
As Kathleen comes around the corner. Christina is waiting.
CHRISTINA
What happened?
KATHLEEN
He never came.
CHRISTINA
He stood you up?
INT. SHOP AROUND THE CORNER
As Kathleen puts her purse into the drawer.
KATHLEEN
I think something happened, something
terrible and unexpected that made it
impossible for him --
George walks in.
GEORGE
What happened?
KATHLEEN
He wasn't able to make it.
GEORGE
He stood you up.
KATHLEEN
What could have happened?
(continued)
George looks suddenly stricken.
KATHLEEN (cont'd)
Why didn't he come? Maybe he showed up,
took one look at me and left.
CHRISTINA
Not possible.
KATHLEEN
Maybe there was a subway accident.
CHRISTINA
Absolutely.
KATHLEEN
A train was trapped underground with him
inside.
CHRISTINA
And no phone.
George continues to look stricken. He's starting to shake
his head.
KATHLEEN
Or an automobile accident. Those cab
drivers are maniacs.
CHRISTINA
They hit something and you slam right
into that plastic partition.
KATHLEEN
His elbows could be in splints -- so he
can't really dial --
CHRISTINA
Or he could be in the hospital in one of
those semi-private room with like --
CHRISTINA & KATHLEEN
(together)
-- no phone.
They look at George. Still shaking his head.
KATHLEEN
(to George)
What?
George hands them a New York Post. They look at the cover:
COPS NAB ROOFTOP KILLER
KATHLEEN
What are you saying?
GEORGE
It could be.
Dead silence.
GEORGE (cont'd)
He was arrested two blocks from the
cheesecake place.
CHRISTINA
Is there a picture?
There it is. It's of a man with his jacket pulled over his
head.
They all look at it.
CHRISTINA
So that explains it.
GEORGE
He was in jail.
CHRISTINA
And there was a phone --
GEORGE
-- but he got only one call and he had to
use it to call his lawyer.
CHRISTINA
You are so lucky.
GEORGE
You could be dead.
KATHLEEN
Are you crazy? This man couldn't
possibly be the rooftop killer.
CHRISTINA
Remember when you thought Frank might be
the Unabomber?
KATHLEEN
That was different.
CHRISTINA
How long did you sit there all alone?
KATHLEEN
Not that long. Joe Fox came in --
CHRISTINA
Joe Fox!
KATHLEEN
I don't want to talk about it.
(closes her eyes)
Let's get to work.
They look around. There's no one in the store and nothing to
do.
A pause.
KATHLEEN
There must be something to do. There's
always something to do.
They hear the jingle of the front door. They look hopefully
toward it. It's only Birdie.
CHRISTINA
He stood her up.
Hold on Kathleen as the computer sound begins.
KATHLEEN (V.O.)
I have been thinking about you. Last
night I went to meet you and you weren't
there. I wish I knew why. I felt so
foolish.
(continued)
INT. KATHLEEN'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
As she types. And we cut from her face to the screen as we
hear a voice-over:
KATHLEEN (V.O.)
And as I waited, someone else showed up,
a man who has made my professional life a
misery, and an amazing thing happened --
I was able, for the first time in my
life, to say the exact thing I wanted to say
it. And of course, afterwards, I felt
terrible. Just as you said I would.
INT. JOE'S APARTMENT - LATER
The E-mail from Kathleen continues as Joe reads.
KATHLEEN (V.O.)
I was cruel, and I'm never cruel. And
even though I can hardly believe what I
said mattered to this man -- to him, I'm
just a bug to be crushed -- but what if
it did? No matter what he's done to me,
there's no excuse for my behavior.
Anyway, you are my dear friend, and I so
wanted to talk to you. I hope you have a
good reason for not being there last
night, but if you don't, and if we never
really connect again, I just want to tell
you how much it has meant to me to know
you were there.
Joe sits there a second. A moment of intense ambivalence.
Then he hits the Menu key and signs off.
COMPUTER
Goodbye.
Joe stands and leaves the room.
The computer sits there.
Hold on the computer. We hear him open the refrigerator
door. We hear him close the refrigerator door. He passes
the den without even looking into it. A moment later he
comes back into the room, stares at the computer. He starts
for the bedroom, changes his mind. Circles the computer.
He's going to go cold turkey if it kills him.
Fuck it. He sits down. Sign on. Starts to type.
JOE (V.O.)
I am in Vancouver.
He stops... Hits the delete button and erases the message.
He starts typing again:
JOE (V.O.)
I was stuck in a meeting, which I
couldn't get out of it, and there was
no phone.
He backspaces to erase "there was no phone."
Screen now reads: I was stuck in a meeting, which I couldn't
get out of it. Joe sits there thinking for a moment. Then he
starts typing.
JOE (V.O., cont'd)
The electricity went out in the building
and we were trapped on the 18th floor and
the telephone system blew too.
He stops and looks at it. Then he types:
JOE (V.O., cont'd)
Amazingly enough.
He sits looking at it.
Then he deletes the whole thing.
Sits looking at the blank screen.
JOE
Fuck you.
He clicks the Yes box.
Then he starts to type again.
JOE (V.O.)
Dear friend: I cannot tell you what
happened to me last night, but I beg you
from the bottom of my heart to forgive me
for not being there.
He deletes "for not being there."
Then types again, after "to forgive me".
JOE (V.O.)
-- for what happened. I feel terrible
that you found yourself in a situation
that caused you additional pain. But I'm
absolutely sure that whatever you said
last night was provoked, even deserved.
And everyone says things they regret when
they're worried or stressed. You were
expecting to see someone you trusted and
met the enemy instead. The fault is
mine.
(continued)
EXT. NEW YORK STREET - DAY
As Kathleen and Christina walk down the street together.
JOE (V.O., cont'd)
Someday I'll explain everything.
Meanwhile, I'm still here. Talk to me.
CHRISTINA
Did he say anything about meeting again?
KATHLEEN
Not really. It doesn't matter. We'll
just be like George Bernard Shaw and Mrs.
Patrick Campbell and write letters our
whole lives --
They go into an apartment building.
INT. BIRDIE'S APARTMENT - DAY
A large rent-controlled West Side apartment. Birdie is
pouring tea. There's a plate of cookies.
Christina is looking at the picture of Birdie as a young
woman, dressed in a sort of Carmen Miranda getup.
CHRISTINA
Where was this taken, Birdie?
BIRDIE
Seville.
KATHLEEN
When you had the thunderbolt?
BIRDIE
Yes. What did you decide, dearie?
KATHLEEN
Close. We're going to close.
CHRISTINA
Close.
KATHLEEN
Although it feels like such a failure.
It feels like I'm quitting. It feels
like... Mom...
She closes her eyes.
Birdie sits down on the loveseat next to Kathleen, puts her
arms around her. Hold on them.
BIRDIE
Keeping the store open doesn't keep your
mother alive, although sometimes I think
we all think it does.
Christina looks over at the picture of Birdie.
CHRISTINA
Who was it, Birdie? That you had the
thunderbolt over?
Birdie shakes her head. She's not going to tell them.
CHRISTINA (cont'd)
It's so romantic.
BIRDIE
But it wasn't meant to be.
CHRISTINA
Why not?
BIRDIE
He ran Spain.
CHRISTINA
Spain?
BIRDIE
The country. He ran it. That was his
job. And then he died. Just as well.
INT. SONY LINCOLN SQUARE THEATRE - NIGHT
As Frank and Kathleen go up the escalator, on their way to a
movie.
FRANK
She fell in love with Generalissimo
Franco?
KATHLEEN
Don't say that. We don't know that for
sure.
FRANK
Who else could it have been? It was
probably around 1960 --
KATHLEEN
I mean, it's not like he was something
normal, like a socialist or an anarchist
or something --
FRANK
It happened in Spain. People do really
stupid things in foreign countries.
KATHLEEN
Absolutely. They buy leather jackets,
they go see Flamenco, they ride in
gondolas, they eat in restaurants where
guitarists sing Malaguena sola Rosa, but
they don't fall in love with fascist
dictators.
They enters one of the theatres.
INT. THEATER - CONTINUOUS
As they find seats and sit down. A trailer is playing.
KATHLEEN
Birdie is a very kind person, she's
practically my surrogate mother.
FRANK
Well she's out of her mind.
KATHLEEN
She is not.
FRANK
I could never ever be with anyone who
doesn't take politics as seriously as I
do.
The person in front of them turns around.
PERSON IN FRONT OF THEM
Do you mind?
FRANK
A hot dog is singing. You need quiet
while a hot dog is singing?
The two of them sit there.
KATHLEEN
I have something to tell you. I didn't
vote.
FRANK
What?
KATHLEEN
In the last mayoral election, when Rudy
Giuliani was running against Ruth
Messinger, I went to get a manicure and
forgot to vote.
FRANK
Since when do you get manicures?
KATHLEEN
Oh, I suppose you could never be with a
woman who gets manicures.
FRANK
Forget it. It's okay. I forgive you.
PERSON IN FRONT OF THEM
Shhhhhh.
KATHLEEN
You forgive me.
Hold on them a beat.
Kathleen stands and walks out of the theatre.
INT. SONY LINCOLN SQUARE THEATRE ESCALATOR - NIGHT
Kathleen on the down escalator. Frank scrambling to catch up
with her.
FRANK
What's going on?
Kathleen's upset.
FRANK (cont'd)
Hey. What is it?
EXT. COLUMBUS AVENUE - NIGHT
As they walk uptown.
FRANK
Look, this has been a big week, you're
closing the store --
KATHLEEN
It's not that, Frank, really it's not.
It's just... Frank...
FRANK
I know, that was terrible of me.
KATHLEEN
What was?
FRANK
To jump all over you when I'm the one
who's really... Oh, God, I don't know
how to say this --
KATHLEEN
What is it?
EXT. COLUMBUS AVENUE - NIGHT
As we see Kathleen and Frank being served drinks in a glassed-
in extension of a restaurant.
INT. COLUMBUS AVENUE RESTAURANT - NIGHT
As Kathleen looks at Frank, waiting for him to begin.
FRANK
You're a wonderful person, Kathleen.
KATHLEEN
So are you.
FRANK
And I'm honored that you want to be with
me because you would never be with anyone
who wasn't truly worthy --
KATHLEEN
I feel exactly the same way about you.
FRANK
Oh, God, don't say that, please, that
just makes it worse.
KATHLEEN
What?
(he shakes his head)
You don't love me?
Frank shakes his head no.
KATHLEEN
Me either.
FRANK
You don't love me?
Kathleen shakes her head no.
FRANK
But we're so right for each other.
KATHLEEN
I know.
A long beat.
KATHLEEN
That woman on television, right?
Sidney-Ann.
Frank nods.
FRANK
I mean, nothing's happened or anything.
KATHLEEN
I think she's a Republican.
FRANK
I can't help myself.
Kathleen pats him.
FRANK (cont'd)
What about you? Is there someone else?
KATHLEEN
Oh, somewhere out there, I'm sure.
Somewhere --
(she throws up her hands)
In cyberspace.
EXT. KATHLEEN'S BUILDING - NIGHT
As Frank, carrying a typewriter, walks out off Kathleen's
building and puts it into the back of a taxicab.
EXT. SHOP AROUND THE CORNER - DAY
As a sign goes up in the window: "Closing This Week: All
Stock 40% off."
INT. SHOP AROUND THE CORNER - LATE THAT DAY
The store is crowded. People are buying stacks of books.
We hear brief snatches of conversation: Birdie telling a
customer she's planning to travel, Christina saying she's
finally going to have to finish her dissertation, George
saying he's been offered a job at Foxbooks but even though
it's okay with Kathleen, he wouldn't work there if it were
the last place on the earth.
There is a frantic, rummage sale atmosphere.
Kathleen, busy at the cash register, looks up for a minute at
her beautiful store being ravaged by vultures. We hear the
sound of the computer and hear her voice-over:
KATHLEEN (V.O.)
My store is closing this week.
I own a store. Did I ever tell you that?
Probably not. It's a lovely store --
As a woman dumps a huge stack of books on the checkout table.
WOMAN SHOPPER
This is a tragedy.
(yelling across the shop to her
husband)
Honey, grab a copy of The Trumpet of the
Swan.
KATHLEEN (V.O.,cont'd)
-- and in a week, it will be something
really depressing, like a Baby Gap. I
am being amazingly brave --
WOMAN SHOPPER
What are you going to do with yourself?
KATHLEEN
I don't know. I'm going to take some
time. I have a little money saved. I'm
almost looking forward to it --
KATHLEEN (V.O.,cont'd)
I am so cheerful I would make Pollyanna
throw up.
SECOND SHOPPER
I came here every Saturday when I was a
little girl. I remember when your mother
gave me Anne of Green Gables. "Read it
with a box of Kleenex," that's what she
told me.
THIRD SHOPPER
She's looking down on you right now.
KATHLEEN
I'm sure she is.
KATHLEEN (V.O.,cont'd)
I have promised myself I'm not going
to cry.
A FORTH SHOPPER approaches the counter with a stack of books
up to his chin, and manages to slide the stack on the
counter.
FOURTH SHOPPER
We should bomb Foxbooks.
KATHLEEN
It's not their fault. The truth is, the
world is just... different.
She starts ringing up the sale.
EXT. FOXBOOKS SUPERSTORE - NIGHT
As Kathleen walks home.
KATHLEEN (V.O.,cont'd)
Soon we'll just be a memory. In fact,
someone, some foolish person will
probably think it's a tribute to this
city, the way it keeps changing on you,
the way you can never count on it, or
something. I know, because that's the
sort of thing I'm always saying. But the
truth is, I'm heartbroken. I feel as if
part of me has died, and my mother has
died all over again, and no one can ever
make it right.
She stops in front of the window, watching the customers
lined up to buy books.
EXT. FOXBOOKS SUPERSTORE - NIGHT
As Kathleen enters and looks around.
She goes up the stairs.
INT. FOXBOOKS SUPERSTORE - CHILDREN'S DEPARTMENT
As Kathleen walks into it.
It's huge, of course. With its reading area, and stage, and
room for displays, and child-size furniture, and so many
books and so many customers.
Kathleen sits down on a little child-size chair, completely
wilted.
KATHLEEN FROM ANOTHER P.O.V.
And now we see Joe watching her, from a distance. She doesn't
see him.
A woman browsing, stops a sales person.
WOMAN SHOPPER
Do you have the "Shoe" books?
SALESPERSON
The "Shoe" books? Who's the author?
WOMAN SHOPPER
I don't know. My friend told me my
daughter has to read the "Shoe" books,
so here I am.
KATHLEEN
Noel Streatfeild. Noel Streatfeild wrote
Ballet Shoes and Skating Shoes and
Theater Shoes and Movie Shoes...
(she starts crying as she tells
her)
I'd start with Skating Shoes, it's my
favorite, although Ballet Shoes is
completely wonderful.
SALESPERSON
Streatfeild. How do you spell that?
KATHLEEN
S-T-R-E-A-T-F-E-I-L-D.
WOMAN SHOPPER
Thank you.
As she walks away.
KATHLEEN
(to herself)
They know nothing, they know absolutely
nothing.
ON JOE
as he watches her. We hear the sound of the computer.
She starts out of the store. And hold on him.
JOE (V.O.)
I'm sorry.
INT. JOE'S COMPUTER SCREEN
A screen which says Reply and which now reads "I'm sorry."
INT. JOE'S OFFICE - DAY
On Joe at his computer, staring at the screen.
JOE
Asshole.
He backspaces, deleting. Starts typing again.
JOE (V.O.)
I'm sorry. I don't know what to say.
Truly I don't. And anything I do say
will sound trite. I hope you feel
better.
He sits there, appalled at his own triteness.
EXT. JOE'S STREET - NIGHT
As a taxi comes down the street and stops in front of Joe's
building.
PATRICIA (V.O.)
What I was thinking was she'd probably
make a great children's book either.
JOE (V.O.)
Why would you think that?
They get out of the cab.
PATRICIA
She knows everything. She has flawless
taste. She's famous for it.
The salesmen swear by her. If she likes
it, it sells. Period.
INT. JOE'S LOBBY - CONTINUOUS
As they enter the lobby and walk toward the elevator.
JOE
So you're going to offer her a job?
PATRICIA
Why not? What else has she got to do?
JOE
Now that she's destitute --
PATRICIA
Thanks to you.
JOE
Well, I can't imagine her working for
you.
PATRICIA
Why not?
JOE
She has a horrible personality, she's...
nice to everyone all the time. It's
exhausting. And her staff turnover is
... non-existent. They've been there
forever. Until... recently, when they
all found out they were going to lose
their jobs.
PATRICIA
Thanks to you.
The elevator door is closing.
PATRICIA (cont'd)
Hold the elevator!
They get in.
INT. ELEVATOR - CONTINUOUS
JOE
Hello, Charlie, Veronica.
PATRICIA
Last time, we rode in an elevator, we
made the deal of the century. What is
going to happen this time?
CHARLIE
Miss Grant's going to get me a part in
one of her movies, that's what's going
to happen.
VERONICA
In your dream, Charlie.
PATRICIA
(back to the conversation with
Joe)
I love how you've totally forgotten you
had any role in her current situation.
It's so obtuse. It reminds me of someone
... Who? Who does it remind me of?
(thinks for a moment)
Me!
The elevator suddenly stops.
PATRICIA
Shit.
VERONICA
Shit.
JOE
It is stuck?
CHARLIE
Could be.
He pushes the open button. Nothing. Turns the key, hits the
open button, flicks the emergency switch. The he starts
hitting the buttons in every possible combination.
JOE
Charlie, what are you doing?
CHARLIE
Bang the door.
PATRICIA
Really.
Joe bangs the door. Nothing.
CHARLIE
I hope this thing doesn't plummet to the
basement.
VERONICA
Can it do that?
JOE
No.
He picks up the phone.
JOE
This is Joe Fox. Who is this? Hi, Juan.
We're stuck on the sixth floor. There
are four of us --
PATRICIA
(grabs the phone)
-- and if you don't get your ass up here
in two shakes and get us out --
He hangs up.
JOE
(to Veronica)
Are you all right?
VERONICA
It's hot.
Joe hands her his handkerchief.
CHARLIE
Everyone should jump in the air.
PATRICIA
What?
CHARLIE
We jump. The elevator thinks that no one
is here and it opens.
Everyone stares at each other.
JOE
One -- two -- three --
They all jump into the air.
They all land.
Nothing happens.
INT. ELEVATOR - A LITTLE LATER
Patricia is sitting on the elevator floor, polishing her
nails.
We hear the fire department banging outside...
VERONICA
If I ever get out of here, I'm going to
start speaking to my mother. She slept
with Oscar, and maybe it was Oscar's
fault, I don't know, and then she sold
the story to Inside Edition.
That could have been Oscar's idea, too.
Who knows? But I divorced him. I wonder
what she's doing right this minute. I
think of her... whenever I hear about a
new pill. Ecstasy, Zoloft, Fenphen, I
just think, I hope Mama knows about that.
She takes out a tissue and dabs at her eyes.
PATRICIA
Maybe you can make up on Rosie. That
would be so great for the book.
CHARLIE
(trying to figure it out)
If I ever get out of here...
PATRICIA
If I ever get out of here, I'm having my
eyes lasered.
CHARLIE
I'm marrying Oreet. I love her. I
should marry her. I don't know what's
been stopping me.
He takes out his wallet and looks at a picture of Oreet,
shows it to Joe.
JOE
If I ever get out of here, I'm going to --
He stops, he looks at Patricia who is fishing through her
purse.
PATRICIA
Where is my TicTacs?
(looks at Joe)
What?
The firemen crowbar open the elevator door.
EXT. 79TH STREET BOAT BASIN - NIGHT
Joe and Brinkley walk out on the dock toward Joe's boat. Joe
is carrying Brinkley's pillow, his laptop and a suitcase.
He boards his boat and goes below. A light goes on. We hear
the sound of the computer.
JOE (V.O.)
I came home tonight and got into the
elevator to go to my apartment. An hour
later, I got out of the elevator and
Brinkley and I moved out. Suddenly
everything had become clear.
(continued)
INT. BOAT - NIGHT
A small sleeping area with a berth and a little table, where
Joe's laptop has been hooked up to the phone.
Joe is on the narrow berth, as is Brinkley.
JOE (V.O., cont'd)
It's a long story. Full of the personal
details we avoid so carefully...
Joe puts Brinkley on the floor, on his pillow. Brinkley
jumps back onto the berth with Joe.
INT. KATHLEEN'S APARTMENT - DAY
Kathleen is making tea. She starts toward the bedroom. We
see her computer, now hooked up in the living room, where all
of Frank's typewriters used to be.
KATHLEEN (V.O.)
I wonder whether change isn't a kind of
infection. You start with one thing --
something you never ever thought would
change and it does --
(continued)
INT. KATHLEEN'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
KATHLEEN (V.O., cont'd)
and the next thing you know even your bed
is in a different place.
(continued)
Kathleen enters the bedroom and we see the entire room has
been rearranged.
She gets into bed and turns on the television set.
EXT. SHOP AROUND THE CORNER - DUSK
The bookshelves are empty.
KATHLEEN (V.O., cont'd)
Six months ago, when you and I first met,
I knew everything about myself -- what I
would be doing for the rest of my life
and even the person I would be doing it
with. Now I know nothing.
On the door is a small sign. "After 42 years, we are closing
our doors. We have loved being part of your lives."
Kathleen turns out the light in the store and opens the door.
The little bell over the door jingles.
Kathleen reaches up on her tiptoes for the bell and detaches
it.
Then she comes out of the store, carrying the bell.
Kathleen locks the door and reaches down to operate the grate
for the last time.
The grate starts to lower.
Kathleen looks at her store, one last time. Then she walks
off, carrying the bell. We hear it jingle in the night.
And hold on The Shop Around the Corner, and it slowly turns
into a computer-enhanced version of itself.
And then, suddenly, it vanishes with a poof, leaving an empty
screen.
EXT. A BLUE SKY WITH A BIG COMPUTER SUN SHINING IN IT, AND PAN
DOWN TO:
A COMPUTER VERSION OF COLUMBUS AVENUE
The trees sprout leaves and birdies start to tweet. And the
scene turns into a real version of:
EXT. COLUMBUS AVE. - FOXBOOKS - MORNING
INT. FOXBOOKS SUPERSTORE - DAY
George is now the head of the children department at the
store and he is sitting in the children's section on an itty-
bitty chair. His staff is sitting on little itty-bitty
chairs too.
GEORGE
Then, in the 19th century, Caldecott
revolutionized the publishing of
children's books by the introduction of
color illustrations --
We see:
THE STAFF
Several are dozing.
EXT. RIVERSIDE DRIVE & 72ND - DAY
Joe walks past the Eleanor Roosevelt statue. He's with
Annabel and Matt:
JOE
What about going to the Children's Zoo?
ANNABEL
I don't want to go to the Children's Zoo.
JOE
Okay. The Staten Island Ferry.
ANNABEL
I want to go to the Storybook Lady.
MATT
I want to go to the Storybook Lady.
JOE
Well we can't go to the Storybook Lady.
INT. JAPANESE NOODLE RESTAURANT - DAY
Annabel is sitting in her chair, staring glumly at a bowl of
Japanese soup and noodles.
JOE
I'll read you a story.
ANNABEL
Where did she go?
JOE
She had to close her store.
ANNABEL
Why?
JOE
She didn't have enough business.
ANNABEL
Why?
JOE
Well. Her store was very close to our
store, and you know our store sells books
at a slightly lower cost --
ANNABEL
Why?
JOE
Why do we sell at a lower cost? So more
people can buy books.
ANNABEL
Why couldn't she sell that way too?
JOE
Because she's small and we're big. How
about we go get some candy?
ANNABEL
So now she's gone and it's all your
fault.
JOE
It's business, Annabel. It's not
personal. How about we go get so much
candy you'll be bouncing off the walls
for days?
MATT
What's personal?
ANNABEL
Personal means that she's gone forever,
and now we'll never get another book from
her as long as we ever live.
She burst into tears. Matt bursts into tears too.
JOE
Remember the man who worked with her?
ANNABEL
(a wail)
No.
JOE
Well I hired him.
ANNABEL
You killed the Storybook Lady.
Matt throws himself on the ground, crying.
Annabel sobs hysterically.
INT. FOXBOOKS SUPERSTORE - DAY
George is wearing the same pointed hat Kathleen wore as the
Storybook Lady. There's a sign that says: Storybook Person.
Several children are listening.
We see:
ANNABEL
She's glowering.
INT. KATHLEEN'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Kathleen is in bed with a huge box of Kleenex. She has a
terrible cold. Her nose is red, her eyes are watery. On the
bedside table are a huge assortment of atomizers, pills, etc.
We hear the sound of computer keys clicking.
JOE (V.O.)
Why haven't you written?
KATHLEEN (V.O.)
I have a cold.
INT. JOE'S OFFICE - DAY
We see Joe on his computer.
JOE (V.O.)
How's your cold?
KATHLEEN (V.O.)
My ears are blocked, my nose is clogged.
INT. KATHLEEN'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
She's drinking cranberry juice. Joni Mitchell on the stereo.
The sound of computer keys clicking again.
JOE (V.O.)
Are you feeling any better?
KATHLEEN (V.O.)
I'm lying in bed listening to Joni
Mitchell and drinking cranberry juice
which I am sorry to say is the exact same
color as my nose. I keep thinking about
my future. What future? What am I
going to do?
EXT. 79TH STREET BOAT BASIN - LATE AFTERNOON
As Joe is walking Brinkley back to the boat. A limousine has
pulled up near the pier and the driver is unloading bags.
Joe stops to see the passenger: his father, Nelson Fox.
JOE
What are you doing here?
EXT. 79TH STREET BOAT BASIN - DUSK
Next to Joe's boat is a larger yacht.
INT. YACHT - NIGHT
In the main cabin Joe and Nelson are having drinks. Nelson
lifts his glass in a toast.
NELSON
To us.
JOE
Father and son, together at last. That
happened with Gillian?
Nelson ignores the question.
NELSON
I've stayed here after, let's see, your
mother, Laurette that ballet dancer --
JOE
-- the nanny --
NELSON
Was she the nanny? I forgot that. How
ironic. Then there was the ice skater --
JOE
-- also the nanny --
NELSON
Really. How amazingly ironic. Sybil the
astrologer.
JOE
Whose moon turned out to be in somebody
else's house, as I recall.
NELSON
Just like Gillian.
JOE
Gillian ran off with someone?
NELSON
The nanny.
JOE
Nanny Maureen? Gillian ran off with
Nanny Maureen? That's incredibly
ironic.
NELSON
True true.
JOE
There's no other word for it.
NELSON
Who did you break up with?
JOE
Patricia. You met her.
NELSON
Would I like her?
(cracks himself up)
Just kidding. Isn't this great? Have
some peanuts. Of course I have to live
out of a suitcase for a least three
weeks, and then there's the inevitable
legal hassle, more of your inheritance
down the drain.
JOE
Don't worry about it.
NELSON
I won't. But then I get to meet someone
new. That's the easy part.
JOE
Oh, right, a snap to find the one single
person in the world who fills your heart
with joy.
NELSON
Don't be ridiculous. Have I ever been
with anyone who fits that description?
Have you?
JOE
On to the next.
NELSON
Isn't it a beautiful night?
Hold on Joe.
EXT. KATHLEEN'S STREET - DAY
Joe, on his way to Kathleen's apartment building, carrying a
bunch of daisies, wrapped in cellophane.
Joe goes up the stoop to her building and looks at buzzer.
Sees Kelly, 3A. He presses. Nothing. Presses again.
KATHLEEN
(voice clogged, through
intercom)
Who is it?
JOE
Joe Fox.
INT. KATHLEEN'S APARTMENT - SAME TIME
Kathleen, in her pajamas, at the intercom, horrified.
KATHLEEN
What are you doing here?
JOE
May I please come up?
KATHLEEN
It's really not a good idea.
Someone else walks up to the door, unlocks it and walks in.
Joe follows.
INT. KATHLEEN'S APARTMENT - SAME TIME
KATHLEEN
(into the intercom)
I have a terrible cold, can you hear it?
I'm sniffling and not really awake --
EXT. KATHLEEN'S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS
As Kathleen continues to talk through the Intercom to an
empty stoop.
KATHLEEN'S VOICE
and I'm sleeping practically twenty-four
hours a day, and taking echinacea --
INT. KATHLEEN'S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS
KATHLEEN
(into intercom)
-- and vitamin C, so I would really
appreciate it if you would come some
other time --
There's a knock on the door right next to her. Kathleen
practically jumps out of her skin. She looks through the
peephole. There he is.
JOE
Kathleen?
KATHLEEN
Just a second.
She puts on a robe, runs frantically about picking up various
scattered wadded-up Kleenexs, opens the front door. Joe is
holding a bunch of flowers wrapped in paper.
JOE
Hello.
KATHLEEN
What are you doing here?
JOE
I heard you were sick and I was worried
and I wanted to --
(he hears voices)
Is someone here?
KATHLEEN
Just the Home Shopping Network.
JOE
Bought any porcelain dolls?
KATHLEEN
I was thinking about it.
(beat)
You put me out of business --
JOE
I know that --
KATHLEEN
And now you turn up with flowers? Did
you come to gloat?
JOE
No.
KATHLEEN
To offer me a job --
JOE
No, I wouldn't think of --
KATHLEEN
Because I have plans, I have lots of
offers. I've been offered a job by --
well, actually by --
JOE
My former?
KATHLEEN
Former?
JOE
We broke up.
KATHLEEN
That's too bad. You seemed so perfect
for each other.
(she claps her hand over her
mouth)
I don't mean to say things like that. No
matter what you have done to me, there is
no excuse for my saying anything like
that. But every time I see you --
JOE
Things like that just seem to fly out of
your mouth.
KATHLEEN
Yes. I'm sorry. I'm starting over.
(sharply)
Thank you for coming. Goodbye.
(she says it again, a little
more nicely)
Thank you for coming. Goodbye.
She starts to the door.
JOE
I bought you flowers.
KATHLEEN
Oh.
(trying as hard as she can)
Thank you.
She takes them.
He takes them back.
JOE
Why don't I put them in water?
He heads for the kitchen. A beat, while she stares after him.
Then follows.
INT. KITCHEN - DAY
When Kathleen gets to the kitchen, Joe is checking the kettle
for water. Turns on the stove.
JOE
You're sick. Sit down, please.
He pulls out a kitchen chair. Kathleen sits. She's a little
woozy.
JOE
Vase?
KATHLEEN
Upper left.
He gets out a vase. Fills it with water.
JOE
George says hello. He told me you
weren't feeling well.
KATHLEEN
How is George?
JOE
Great. He's revolutionizing the place.
No one is allowed to work in his
department who doesn't have a Ph.D. in
children's literature.
He unwraps the paper around the flowers. Daisies. Puts them
in a vase.
KATHLEEN
I love daisies.
JOE
You told me.
He puts the vase on the kitchen table. Kathleen plays with
the petals.
KATHLEEN
They're so friendly. Don't you think
they are the friendliest flower?
JOE
I do.
KATHLEEN
When did you break up?
JOE
Oh, a couple of weeks ago.
KATHLEEN
Everyone is breaking up. You. Me. This
other person I know broke up with someone
in an elevator. I think it was in an
elevator. Or just outside it. Or after
it. It got stuck. I think. And suddenly
everything became clear. When I saw you,
at the coffee place, I was waiting for him
and I was --
JOE
-- charming.
KATHLEEN
I was not charming.
JOE
Well, you looked charming.
The teakettle whistles. Joe turns off the burner.
JOE
Tea?
KATHLEEN
Upper right.
He gets out mugs and teabags and pours the water.
KATHLEEN
I was upset. And I was horrible.
JOE
Honey?
Kathleen nods. He puts in two spoonfuls, gives it to her.
JOE
I was horrible.
KATHLEEN
True. But I have no excuse.
She picks up the daisies and carries them into:
INT. KATHLEEN'S LIVING ROOM - DAY
Joe follows her. They both sit.
JOE
Whereas I am a horrible person and have
no choice but to be horrible, is that
what you're saying?
KATHLEEN
No I am not saying that because I am done
saying horrible things, even to you.
JOE
You did it again.
She claps her hand over her mouth.
JOE
I put you out of business. You're
entitled to hate me.
KATHLEEN
I don't hate you --
JOE
But you'll never forgive me. Like
Elizabeth.
KATHLEEN
Who?
JOE
Elizabeth Bennet in Pride and Prejudice.
She was too proud --
KATHLEEN
I thought you hated Pride and Prejudice.
JOE
-- or was she too prejudiced and Mr.
Darcy too proud? I can never remember.
(beat)
It wasn't personal --
KATHLEEN
-- It was business. What is that
supposed to mean? I am so sick of that.
All it means is it's not personal to you,
but it's personal to me, it's personal to
a lot of people.
(she shrugs helplessly)
What's wrong with personal anyway?
JOE
Nothing.
KATHLEEN
I mean, whatever else anything is, it
ought to begin by being personal.
Kathleen stands up, picks up the daisies.
KATHLEEN
My head's starting to get funny. I have
to go back to bed.
They walk to...
EXT. KATHLEEN'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
Kathleen puts the daisies next to the bed and gets into it.
She fluffs up the pillows, pulls up the blankets, surrounds
herself with Kleenex and Evian and sneezes a gigantic sneeze.
KATHLEEN
Why did you stop by? I forget.
JOE
I wanted to be your friend.
KATHLEEN
Oh.
JOE
I knew it wasn't possible. What can I
say? Sometimes a person just wants the
impossible. Could I ask you something?
KATHLEEN
What?
JOE
What happened with that guy at the cafe?
KATHLEEN
Nothing.
JOE
But you're crazy about him --
KATHLEEN
Yes. I am.
JOE
Then why don't you run off with him?
What are you waiting for?
A long beat.
KATHLEEN
I don't actually know him.
JOE
Really.
KATHLEEN
We only know each other -- oh God, you're
not going to believe this --
JOE
Let me guess. From the Internet.
KATHLEEN
Yes.
JOE
You've Got Mail.
KATHLEEN
Yes.
JOE
Very powerful words.
KATHLEEN
Yes.
Joe sits on the edge of the bed.
JOE
I'm happy for him. Although -- could I
make a little suggestion? I think you
should meet him. No. I take it back.
Why meet him?
KATHLEEN
(starting to get sharp again)
I hardly think I need advice from someone
who --
He reaches out and gently claps his hand over her mouth. And
holds it there. It's unexpectedly tender and sexy.
JOE
I concede I bring out the worst in you,
but let me help you not to say something
you'll just torture yourself about for
years to come.
She starts to smile and he removes his hand.
They look at each other.
JOE
I hope you're better soon. It would be
a shame to miss New York in the spring.
Joe stands.
KATHLEEN
Thank you for the daisies.
He starts for the door.
JOE
Take care.
KATHLEEN
I will.
JOE
Goodbye.
KATHLEEN
Goodbye.
We hear the door close.
Hold on Kathleen.
EXT. CENTRAL PARK - DAY
Christina is running. She sees a good-looking MALE RUNNER
coming toward her. She has no hope that he will notice her,
and starts to look away as they get close to one another.
MALE RUNNER
Hi.
CHRISTINA
Hi.
He passes her. Christina can't believe it.
She does a little dance of joy.
Camera pulls back as we see her by the reservoir on a
beautiful morning doing her little celebratory spin.
Then she resumes her morning exercise, running on.
INT. THE SINGLES TEMPLE - FRIDAY EVENING
Patricia comes in.
The place is packed. There are hundreds of young Jewish New
Yorkers singing folk songs and dancing the hora. The Rabbi
is dancing among them.
Patricia sees the rabbi, leading the dance.
The rabbi whirls madly toward her, like a human dreidel.
RABBIT
Shabbat shalom!
He grabs Patricia's hand, and to her surprise, they go
whirling off together.
INT. KATHLEEN'S BEDROOM - DAY
Kathleen at the computer, typing.
KATHLEEN (V.O.)
I have been thinking about this and
I think we should meet.
She clicks the send button and then exits from American On
Line.
On her computer screen we now see the standard screen with
several icons: American On-Line, Word, Recycle Bin, etc.
She clicks Word.
She goes to File: New.
There are several choices of format.
She stares at the choices. Then she clicks Book format.
A blank page appears in the computer.
She starts to type: "Once upon a time there was a little
girl named..."
She pauses for a moment and looks around the room. She sees
the flowers that Joe brought her.
And then she types: "Daisy."
As she goes on typing...
INT. JOE' BOAT - NIGHT
On Joe typing.
JOE (V.O.)
We should meet. And we will meet. But
I'm in the middle of a project that
needs...
(he pauses to think of the
right word)
... tweaking.
A look of calculation on his face.
EXT. STARBUCKS - DAY
We can see Kathleen through the window, drinking a cup of
coffee.
And now we see Joe walk into Starbucks. He waves at her,
pretending surprise at seeing her. Has he been watching the
store and waiting for her to come in? We'll never know.
INT. STARBUCKS - A FEW MINUTES LATER
He's sitting next to her at the counter in the window.
JOE
Tweaking?
KATHLEEN
That's what he said.
JOE
He's probably married.
KATHLEEN
That's a terrible thing to say. It's not
possible.
JOE
Have you asked him if he's married? Have
you said, "Are you married?"
KATHLEEN
No.
Joe looks at her, shrugs.
INT. KATHLEEN'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
As she types:
KATHLEEN (V.O.)
I know this is probably a little late to
be asking, but are you married?
INT. JOE'S OFFICE - NIGHT
As he answers:
JOE (V.O.)
Am I married? What kind of a question is
that? How can you ask me that? Don't
you know me at all? Oh wait, I get it.
Your friends are telling you the reason
we haven't met is that I'm married. Am I
right?
INT. SIDEWALK CAFE - ANOTHER DAY
Kathleen and Joe having nachos.
JOE
So he didn't exactly answer.
KATHLEEN
He did too. He nailed me. He knew
exactly what I was up to. Which is just
like him.
JOE
But he didn't exactly answer, did he?
Did he?
KATHLEEN
No.
JOE
Maybe he's fat.
KATHLEEN
I don't care about that.
JOE
You don't care that he might be one of
those guys who's so fat he has to be
removed from his house with a crane?
KATHLEEN
That's very unlikely.
JOE
Why else do you think he's putting off
meeting you? Although... maybe that's
not it. Maybe...
KATHLEEN
What?
JOE
Never mind.
KATHLEEN
What????
JOE
He could be waiting til he's paroled.
KATHLEEN
Oh, you won't believe this, there was a
moment when George thought he might be
the rooftop killer, which was completely
ridiculous --
Her voice trails off, as she considers whether it could be
true.
JOE
What's his handle?
She shakes her head.
JOE
Come on, I'm not going to write him. Is
that what you think?
KATHLEEN
NY 152.
JOE
One five two. One hundred fifty two.
Very interesting. He's 152 years old.
He has 152 hairs remaining on his head.
He's had 152 moles removed and now he
has 152 pockmarks.
EXT. FARMER'S MARKET ON BROADWAY - LATER
As they walk past tables of bread and flowers, etc.
JOE
His combined college board scores.
KATHLEEN
His IQ.
JOE
The number of women he's slept with.
KATHLEEN
The number of times he's seen The
Godfather.
JOE
That's the first good thing I've heard
about him.
KATHLEEN
His address. No, no, no. He would never
do anything that prosaic.
On Joe, looking a little wounded.
KATHLEEN (cont'd)
The only thing I really care about
besides the married thing... and the
jail thing... is the boat thing.
JOE
The boat thing?
KATHLEEN
I could never be with anyone who has
a boat.
JOE
Oh.
KATHLEEN
So that clinches it. We'll never be
together. I'll take care of these.
He picks up a mango, squeezes it.
JOE (cont'd)
I could never be with anyone who likes
Joni Mitchell.
(singing, imitating Joni)
"It's cloud's illusions I recall, I
really don't know clouds at all."
What does that mean?
Joe waits for Kathleen to say she likes Joni Mitchell.
But Kathleen doesn't say anything.
She starts intently picking over apples, trying to find some
she wants.
JOE
How's your book coming?
EXT. BROADWAY - DAY
As they walk away from the market, going uptown.
KATHLEEN
There's a children's book editor I know,
from the store, and she's excited to
read it. When I finish it. Who would
ever have thought I'd write? I mean,
if I didn't have all this free time, I
would never have discovered --
She stops, realizing what she's saying.
KATHLEEN (cont'd)
The truth is, he was the one who made me
start thinking about writing --
JOE
Mister 152 Felony Indictments --
KATHLEEN
Mister 152... insights into my soul.
JOE
Yes. Well. Can't compete with that.
KATHLEEN
Well. I keep bumping into you. Hope
your mango's ripe.
JOE
I think it is. Want to bump into me
Saturday? Around lunchtime?
EXT. COMPUTER SCREEN - NIGHT
As Joe types.
JOE (V.O.)
How about meeting Saturday? The first
day of spring. 4 P.M. There's a place
in Riverside Park at 88th Street where
the path curves and when you come around
the curve, you'll find me waiting.
INT./EXT. SATURDAY - GREY'S PAPAYA - THE FIRST DAY OF SPRING
Kathleen and Joe are putting mustard on their hot dogs.
JOE
Today?
KATHLEEN
Today.
JOE
Whoa.
KATHLEEN
I know. In Riverside Park.
JOE
Isn't that amazing? Maybe I've seen him,
and I don't even know it.
EXT. COLUMBUS AVENUE - DAY
As they walk uptown, eating their hot dogs and drinking
papaya drinks.
JOE
He could be the Zipper Man.
KATHLEEN
Who's that?
JOE
This guy on Amsterdam who repairs
zippers. You'll never have to buy new
luggage.
KATHLEEN
Stop teasing.
JOE
Timing is everything. He waited until
you were primed. Until you knew there
was no other man you could ever love.
KATHLEEN
(almost believe it)
Yes.
JOE
Sometimes I wonder...
KATHLEEN
What?
They stop walking, they look at each other.
JOE
If I hadn't been Foxbooks and you hadn't
been The Shop Around the Corner and we'd
just met --
KATHLEEN
Don't.
JOE
I would have asked for your phone number
and I wouldn't have been able to wait 24
hours before calling and asking, "How
about coffee, drinks, dinner, a movie,
for as long as we both shall live?"
KATHLEEN
(almost a swoon)
Joe...
JOE
And then we would never have been at war.
KATHLEEN
No.
JOE
The only fight we'd ever have is what
video to rent on Saturday night.
KATHLEEN
Who fights about that?
JOE
Some people. Not us.
KATHLEEN
We would never.
A long beat.
JOE
If only...
KATHLEEN
Please. I have to go.
She doesn't move.
JOE
Let me ask you something? How come
you'll forgive him for standing you
up and you won't forgive me for a
little tiny thing like putting you
out of business?
Kathleen looks at him. Shakes her head.
They look at each other.
JOE
Oh how I wish you would.
It's all Kathleen can do not to forgive him.
It's all Joe can do not to kiss her.
KATHLEEN
I really do have to go.
JOE
You don't want to be late.
She's in agony.
He turns and walks away.
After a moment, she does too.
EXT. KATHLEEN'S APARTMENT - LATER
As we see Kathleen come down the street and walk into her
house.
EXT. KATHLEEN'S APARTMENT - LATER
As she comes out of the apartment house, having changed her
clothes.
EXT. RIVERSIDE DRIVE - LATER AFTERNOON
As she comes toward the entrance to the park.
EXT. RIVERSIDE DRIVE PARK - LATE AFTERNOON
As Kathleen comes down a path in the park, near 88th Street.
She comes to a stop.
Looks around.
A young woman in running clothes passes by.
A young father pushing a baby in one of those strollers
runners use to push babies in.
Kathleen looks at her watch.
Suddenly she hears a noise. A dog barking.
And Brinkley comes around the corner.
VOICE
Brinkley! Brinkley!
And hold on Kathleen as she sees.
JOE
And she starts to cry.
And he comes to her. And puts his arms around her.
JOE
Don't cry, Shopgirl, don't cry.
KATHLEEN
I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to
be you so badly.
And as they kiss, we hold on them.
And crane up and away as we see them, a couple kissing in the
park on a beautiful spring day.
A dog is leaping around them.
And as we get further and further away from them, the screen
turns into
CYBERSPACE
And the dog turns cartwheels and flipflops.
And we tilt up to see the clouds and the sky
and hear the sound of computer keys, clicking, clicking,
clicking
FADE OUT
| 
