THE FINALE PART 2
Written by
Larry David
(The four are in prison, having a meal)
KRAMER
Mmmm, this is pretty good chow, huh?
GEORGE
Would it kill him to check up on us?
No - drops off the meals and that's
it. I realize we're prisoners, but we're
still entitled to catsup.
ELAINE
I guess we could've called for help.
JERRY
But then we would have missed the whole
thing.
KRAMER
I still had it on video. We could have
watched it later.
GEORGE
Yeah, he's right.
JERRY
I forgot about the video.
ELAINE
Sure - the video.
(Jerry's beeper starts beeping)
ELAINE
What is that?
JERRY
Plane's ready.
(Rivera Live news show)
RIVERA
Hi everybody, I'm Geraldo Rivera. Tonight
we'll be talking about what most of
you have probably been
discussing in your homes, and around the water coolers in your
offices. I am speaking of course of the controversial Good Samaritan
trial that gets underway Thursday in Latham, Massachusetts. Now
before we meet our distinguished panel, let's go to Latham live,
where Jane Wells is standing by. Jane-
WELLS
Yes. Good evening, Geraldo.
RIVERA
What's the mood? What's going on tonight?
WELLS
Well, Latham is fairly quite tonight,
considering the media circus that has
descended upon this quaint little town.
RIVERA
And what about the defendants - the
so-called New York Four. How are they
holding up?
WELLS
Well, I did speak with one of the deputies
who had some contact with them, and
he told me quote "There's no love lost
with that group."
RIVERA
Anything else, Jane?
WELLS
There also seems to be some friction
between Mr. Seinfeld, and Ms. Benes.
The rumor is that they once dated,
and it's possible that ended badly.
RIVERA
Well, ladies and gentlemen, who know,
maybe this trial will bring them closer
together. Maybe they'll even end up
getting married.
(Jerry's parents are packing)
HELEN
I hope you packed enough - this trial
could last for weeks.
MORTY
What's all that?
HELEN
Cereal.
MORTY
You're packing cereal?
HELEN
I'm bringing it for Jerry.
MORTY
You got enough here for a life sentence.
HELEN
He likes it. He says he misses that
more that anything.
MORTY
So bring a snack-pack.
(George's parents are packing)
ESTELLE
Poor Georgie, was it our fault this
happened to him? Did we do something
wrong? Maybe it was our fault.
FRANK
Maybe it was your fault. It wasn't my
fault. I can tell you that.
ESTELLE
Oh, so it was my fault, but not yours.
FRANK
You were the one who smothered him.
ESTELLE
I did not smother him.
FRANK
You smothered! He couldn't get any air!
He couldn't breathe! He was suffocating!
ESTELLE
Sure, and you were always in Korea with
your religious chachkis.
FRANK
I had to make a living!
(Newman, laughing, leaves his building with a suitcase. Uncle
Leo leaves with his bags, followed by J. Peterman, David Puddy
in his 8-ball jacket, Mickey, Kenny Bania, Mr. and Mrs. Ross,
Mr. Bookman, Keith Hernandez, and George
Steinbrenner.)
(The four are at a table. Jerry and Kramer are enjoying some
cereal, while they wait for Jackie Chiles.)
KRAMER
This is excellent huh? Don't worry I
didn't use too much milk, cause I know
we gotta make it last.
JERRY
You know I've had to reduce my milk
level. My whole life I've always filled
to at least three quarters - sometimes,
to the top of the cereal. Now, to conserve,
I can't even see the milk anymore. It's
a big adjustment.
KRAMER
I bet.
JERRY
It's one of the hardest things I've
ever had to do.
(Enter Jackie Chiles)
CHILES
Good morning.
ELAINE
Good morning, Jackie.
JERRY
Good morning.
CHILES
Is everybody ready? Didn't I tell you
I wanted you to wear the cardigan?
GEORGE
It makes me look older.
CHILES
Look older? Do you think this is a game?
Is that what you think this is? I'm
trying to give you amoral compass. You
have no moral compass. You're going
to walk into that courtroom, and the
jury's going to see a mean, nasty, evil
George Costanza. I want them to see
Perry Como. No one's going to convict
Perry Como. Perry Como helps out a fat
tub who's getting robbed.
(Jerry laughs)
CHILES
Do you think it's funny?
JERRY
No.
CHILES
You damn right it isn't. You better
not be carrying on laughing in that
courtroom, funny man. Cause if you start
getting all smart-alecky, making wisecracks,
acting a fool, you gonna find yourself
in here for a long, long time. I don't
like that tie. Suzie, get one of my
ties from my briefcase.
ELAINE
How do I look, Jackie?
CHILES
Oh, you looking good. You look strong.
You one fine-looking sexy lady.
ELAINE
Thank you, Jackie.
KRAMER
How bout me, Jackie?
CHILES
Kramer, you always look good. You got
respect for yourself. You're genuine.
Jury's going to pick up on that.
(Jackie hands Jerry a tie)
CHILES
Here.
JERRY
This one?
CHILES
That's right.
JERRY
Do I have to?
ELAINE
Jackie says put it on, Jerry.
(Court is starting)
BAILIFF
All rise. Fourth District County Court,
Latham, Massachusetts is now in session.
The Honorable Judge
Arthur Vandelay presiding.
GEORGE
Vandelay? The judge's name is Vandelay?
CHILES
Vanda who?
GEORGE
Jerry, did you hear that?
JERRY
Yeah.
GEORGE
I think that's a good sign.
VANDELAY
Is the District Attorney ready to proceed?
HOYT
We are, Your Honor.
VANDELAY
Mr. Hoyt.
HOYT
Ladies and gentlemen, last year, our
City Council by a vote of twelve to
two, passed a Good Samaritan Law. Now,
essentially, we made it a crime to ignore
a fellow human being in trouble. Now
this group from New York not only ignored,
but, as we will prove, they actually
mocked the victim as he was being robbed
at gunpoint. I can guarantee you one
other thing, ladies and gentlemen, this
is not the first time they have behaved
in this manner. On the contrary, they
have quite a record of mocking and maligning.
This is a history of selfishness, self-absorption,
immaturity, and greed. And you will
see how everyone who has come into contact
with these four individuals has been
abused, wronged, deceived and betrayed.
This time, they have gone too far. This
time they are going to be held accountable.
This time, they are the ones who will
pay.
(Newman shown eating popcorn)
VANDELAY
Mr. Chiles.
CHILES
I am shocked and chagrined, mortified
and stupefied. This trial is outrageous!
It is a waste of the taxpayers' time
and money. It is a travesty of justice
that these four people have been incarcerated
while the real perpetrator is walking
around laughing - lying and laughing,
laughing and lying. You know what these
four people were? They were innocentbystanders.
Now, you just think about that term.
Innocent. Bystanders. Because that's
exactly what they were. We know theywere
bystanders, nobody's disputing that.
So how can a bystander be guilty? No
such thing. Have you ever heard of a
guilty bystander? No, because you cannot
be a bystander and be guilty. Bystanders
are by definition, innocent. That is
the nature of bystanding. But no, they
want to change nature here. They want
to create a whole new animal - the guilty
bystander. Don't you let them do it.
Only you can stop them.
VANDELAY
Is the prosecution ready to present
its first witness?
HOYT
We are, Your Honor. Call Officer Matt
Vogel to the stand.
BAILIFF
Call Matt Vogel.
HOYT
So they were just standing there?
VOLEG
Yes.
HOYT
Did one of them have a video camera?
VOGEL
Yes.
HOYT
Your Honor, with the court's permission,
we would like to play back that video
and enter it into evidence as Exhibit
A.
VANDELAY
Proceed.
(The tape plays)
VICTIM
Don't shoot.
JERRY
Well, there goes the money for the lipo.
ELAINE
See, the great thing about robbing a
fat guy is it's an easy getaway. They
can't really chase ya!
GEORGE
He's actually doing him a favor. It's
less money for him to buy food.
the victim of the robbery)
HOYT
So they just stood there and did nothing?
VICTIM
Yeah, nothing. Nothing!
HOYT
No further questions.
(Enter NBC executives Stu Chermak and Jay Crespi)
GEORGE
Hey! Great plane! Thanks a lot. Piece
of junk. You know you almost got us
killed!
HOYT
Call Mabel Choate to the stand.
BAILIFF
Call Mabel Choate.
CHILES
Your Honor. I most strenuously and vigorously
object to this witness. She was not
present at the time of
the incident. Her testimony is irrelevant, irrational, and inconsequential.
HOYT
Your Honor, the prosecution has gone
to great lengths and considerable cost
to find these character witnesses.It
is imperative that we establish this
is not merely an isolated incident.
It's part of a pattern of anti-social
behavior that's been going on for years.
VANDELAY
Objection overruled. I'll hear the witness.
HOYT
Now, Mrs. Choate, would you please tell
the court what happen the evening of
January 4th.
CHOATE
Well, I was in Snitzer's Bakery when
I got accosted by that man.
HOYT
Let the record show that she is pointing
at Mr. Seinfeld.
HOYT
What did he want?
CHOATE
My marble rye.
HOYT
Your marble rye?
CHOATE
I got the last one. He kept persisting,
and I said no.
HOYT
And then you left the bakery.
CHOATE
That's right.
HOYT
But it didn't end there, did it, Mrs.
Choate?
CHOATE
Oh no.
(Scene from past episode, "The Rye")
JERRY
Gimme that rye.
CHOATE
Stop it.
JERRY
I want that rye lady.
CHOATE
Help - someone help.
JERRY
Shut up, you old bag!
(Back to the present)
HOYT
No further questions.
HOYT
I call Marla Penny to the stand.
BAILIFF
Call Marla Penny.
JERRY
The virgin!
HOYT
And what was your connection to the
defendants?
PENNY
I dated Mr. Seinfeld for several weeks
in the autumn of 1992.
HOYT
Then on the evening of October 28, there
was an abrupt end to that relationship.
Tell us what happened.
PENNY
It's rather difficult to talk about.
HOYT
It's alright. Take your time.
PENNY
Well, I became aware of a -
HOYT
A what?
PENNY
A, uh -
HOYT
Yes?
PENNY
A contest.
HOYT
Contest?
PENNY
Yes.
HOYT
What was the nature of the contest?
PENNY
Oh please, I can't.
HOYT
It's okay.
PENNY
The four of them made a wager to see
if they could -
HOYT
Yes?
PENNY
To see who could go the longest without
gratifying themselves.
PETERMAN
For the love of God!
PENNY
It was horrible, horrible!
HOYT
Call Donald Sanger to the stand.
JERRY
Who the hell is that?
MR. SANGER
Come on Donald, you're doing fine.
GEORGE
The Bubble Boy!
CHILES
Bubble Boy?
JERRY
That's right, the Bubble Boy.
CHILES
What's a Bubble Boy?
JERRY
He's a boy who lives in a bubble.
BUBBLE BOY
What the hell are all you looking at?
HOYT
So Donald, would you please tell the
court about the incident that occurred
in your house, October 7th, 1992.
BUBBLE BOY
Well, Jerry Seinfeld was supposed to
come to my house, but his friend Costanza
showed up instead, so I challenged him
to a game of Trivial Pursuit.
(Scene from past episode, "The Bubble Boy")
GEORGE
Who invaded Spain in the Eighth Century?
BUBBLE BOY
That's a joke - the Moors.
GEORGE
Oh no - I'm so sorry, it's the Moops.
The correct answer is the Moops.
BUBBLE BOY
Moops? Let me see that. That's not Moops,
you jerk. It's Moors. It's a misprint.
GEORGE
Sorry, the card says Moops.
BUBBLE BOY
It doesn't matter. It's Moors - there's
no Moops.
GEORGE
It's Moops.
BUBBLE BOY
Moors!
GEORGE
Moops!
GEORGE
Help! Someone!
BUBBLE BOY
There's no Moops, you idiot.
SUSAN
Stop it! Let go of him!
MRS. SANGER
Donald, stop it. No. Donald, stop it.
(Back to the court)
GEORGE
It was Moops.
BUBBLE BOY
Moors.
the lady Kramer gave a defective wheelchair
to in "The Handicapped Spot")
HOYT
So Mr. Costanza parked in a handicapped
spot, and as a result you got in an
accident, and your wheelchair was destroyed?
LADY
That's right.
HOYT
And then Mr. Kramer gave you a used
wheelchair?
LADY
That's right.
(Scene showing lady screaming going out of control down hill
in her wheelchair.)
Dr. Wilcox, the doctor on duty when
Susan died)
HOYT
So you were the doctor on duty the night
Susan Ross died?
WILCOX
Yes, that's right. It was May 16, 1996.
I'll never forget it.
HOYT
So you broke the news to Mr. Costanza?
Could you tell the court, please, what
his reaction was?
WILCOX
I would describe it as restrained jubilation.
MR. ROSS
Murderer!
MRS. ROSS
He killed our daughter! He knew those
envelopes were toxic!
VANDELAY
Order in this court!
HOYT
Call Sidra Holland to the stand.
CHILES
Whew! Look at this one, she fine. You
dated her?
HOYT
So you met Jerry Seinfeld in a health
club sometime in 1993?
SIDRA
Yes.
HOYT
And you also met Miss Benes in that
same health club?
SIDRA
Yes, that's true.
HOYT
Would you describe the circumstances
of that meeting.
SIDRA
We were in the sauna, making chit-chat.
(Scene from past episode, "The Implant")
SIDRA
You know, I've seen you around the club.
My name's Sidra. This is Marcie.
ELAINE
Oh, hi, I'm Elaine.
(Back in the courtroom)
HOYT
So, she pretended to trip, and she fell
into your breasts?
SIDRA
Yes.
HOYT
Why would she do something like that?
SIDRA
Because he sent her in there to find
out if they were real.
Joe Bookman, library cop)
HOYT
State your name.
BOOKMAN
Bookman, Joe Bookman.
HOYT
And what's your occupation?
BOOKMAN
I'm a library cop.
HOYT
What does a library cop do?
BOOKMAN
We chase down library delinquents.
HOYT
Anyone in this room ever delinquent?
BOOKMAN
Yeah, he was. Right over there - Seinfeld.
HOYT
How long was his book overdue?
BOOKMAN
25 years. We don't call them delinquent
after that long.
HOYT
What do you call them?
BOOKMAN
Criminals.
George's old girlfriend)
HOYT
So you and Mr. Costanza were dating.
WOMAN
Yes.
HOYT
And then what happened?
WOMAN
Well, I invited him to attend my son's
birthday party and -
(Scene from past episode, "The Fire")
GEORGE
Fire! Get out of the way!
(Back to the courtroom)
parking lot security guard)
GUARD
At the time, I was employed as a security
guard in the parking lot at the Garden
Valley Shopping Mall.
(Scene from past episode, "The Parking Garage")
JERRY
Why would I do it unless I was in mortal
danger? I know it's against the law.
GUARD
I don't know.
JERRY
Because I could get uromycitisis poisoning
and die - that's why.
(Back to the courtroom)
HOYT
Uromycitisis! I wonder if they're having
any trouble controlling themselves during
this trial? Perhaps these two
hooligans would like to have a pee party right here in the courtroom!
CHILES
Objection, Your Honor! This is completely
inappropriate! My clients' medical condition
is not on trial here!
I refer you to the Disability Act of 1990.
VANDELAY
Sit down, Mr. Chiles.
Police Detective)
HOYT
Alright, Detective, then what happened?
DETECTIVE
We got a tip that a lot of prostitutes
had been turning tricks in the parking
lot.
(Scene from past episode, "The Wig Master")
PRO
You just cost me some money.
KRAMER
Cool it, lady. Cool it. Cool it, lady.
Cool it.
POLICE
Police officers - freeze right there!
(Back to the courtroom)
HOYT
So Cosmo Kramer was, in fact, a pimp.
the low-talker)
HOYT
So you asked Mr. Seinfeld if he would
wear your puffy shirt on the Today Show?
(Mumble)
HOYT
Excuse me?
CHILES
Uh, excuse me, Your Honor, but what
is the point of this testimony? This
woman's a low-talker. I can't hear
a word she's saying. So either get some other kind of microphone
up there, or let's move on.
George Steinbrenner)
HOYT
Call George Steinbrenner to the stand.
BAILIFF
Call George Steinbrenner.
HOYT
So George Costanza came to work for
you in May of 1994?
STEINBRENNER
Yes, that's right, he was good kid -
a lovely boy. Shared his calzone with
me - that was a heck of a sandwich,
wasn't it, Georgie?
GEORGE
Yes, sir, that was a good sandwich,
sir.
STEINBRENNER
He had one little problem though.
HOYT
What was that?
STEINBRENNER
He was a communist. Thick as they come.
Like a big juicy steak.
FRANK
How could you give twelve million dollars
to Hideki Irabu?!
VANDELEY
Order!
Man from "The Little Jerry")
HOYT
Cock fighting?
WITNESS
Cock fighting.
Pharmacist from "The Sponge")
PHARMACIST
Sponges. I don't mean the kind you clean
your tub with. They're for sex. Said
she needed a whole case of
them.
Elaine's old boyfriend)
MAN
She exposed her nipple.
Mr. Pitt from "The Diplomat's Club")
HOYT
How did she try to kill you?
PITT
She tried to smother me with a pillow.
HOYT
Call Yev Kassem to the stand.
BAILIFF
Call Yev Kassem.
JERRY
Who?
ELAINE
The Soup Nazi!
CHILES
Soup Nazi? You people have a little
pet name for everybody.
HOYT
State your name.
SOUP NAZI
Yev Kassem.
HOYT
Could you spell that?
SOUP NAZI
No! Next question.
HOYT
How do you know the defendants?
SOUP NAZI
They used to come to my restaurant.
(Scene from past episode, "The Soup Nazi")
GEORGE
Medium turkey chili.
JERRY
Medium crab bisque.
GEORGE
I didn't get any bread.
JERRY
Just forget it. Let it go.
GEORGE
Um, excuse me, I think you forgot my
bread.
SOUP NAZI
You want bread?
GEORGE
Yes, please.
SOUP NAZI
Three dollars!
GEORGE
What?
SOUP NAZI
No soup for you!
(Back in the courtroom)
SOUP NAZI
But the idiot clowns did not know how
to order. I banned that one - the woman
- for a year. Then one day,
she came back.
(Back to the "Soup Nazi" episode)
ELAINE
Five cups chopped porcini mushrooms.
Half a cup of olive oil. Three pounds
celery.
SOUP NAZI
That's my recipe for wild mushroom.
ELAINE
You're through, Soup Nazi. Pack it up.
No more soup for you. Next!
(Back in the courtroom)
SOUP NAZI
She published my recipes. I had to close
the store, move to Argentina. She ruined
my business!
ELAINE
Soup's not all that good anyway.
SOUP NAZI
What did you say?!
HOYT
The state calls Mr. Babu Bhatt to the
stand.
JERRY
How did they find Babu?
ELAINE
I thought he was deported.
HOYT
You came a long way to be here today,
haven't you?
BABU
Yes, all the way from Pakistan.
HOYT
And what's your connection to the defendant?
BABU
I owned a restaurant. Seinfeld told
me to change the menu to Pakistani.
But nobody came! There were no people.
HOYT
And then what happened?
BABU
Then, he got me an apartment in his
building. But they mixed up the mail.
And I never got my immigration renewal
papers. So they deported me. It's all
his fault. Him. And the woman. But they
did not care. They're totally indifferent.
All they do is mock me, just like they
did the fat fellow. All the time. Mocking,
mocking, mocking, mocking, mocking.
All the time! Now it is Babu's turn
to mock. Finally I will have some justice.
Send them away! Send them all away!
Lock them up forever! They are not human.
Very bad! Very, very, very bad!
(Rivera Live)
RIVERA
Hi everybody, I'm Geraldo Rivera and
welcome to this special edition of Rivera
Live. Well, arguments in the
Good Samaritan trial ended today. The jury has been in deliberation
for four and a half hours now. Let's go live to
Jane Wells who is in Latham, Massachusetts, covering this trial
for us. Jane -
WELLS
Geraldo, just a few minutes ago, the
jury asked to see the video tape.
RIVERA
That's the one where they are overheard
making sarcastic remarks during the
robbery.
WELLS
Yes, it's a very incriminating piece
of evidence. But I must tell you, Geraldo,
this courtroom and everyone who has
attended this trial is still reeling
from the endless parade of witness who
have come forth so enthusiastically
to testify against these four seemingly
ordinary people. One even had the feeling
that if Judge Vandelay didn't finally
put a stop to it, it could've gone on
for months.
RIVERA
Jane, whose testimony do you think resonated
most strongly with this jury?
WELLS
That is so hard to say. Certainly there's
the doctor with the poison invitations.
The Bubble Boy was an extremely sympathetic
and tragic figure. And that bizarre
contest certainly didn't sit well with
this small town jury.There's the woman
they sold the defective wheelchair to,
the deported Pakistani restaurateur.
Geraldo, it just went on,
and on, and on, into the night.
RIVERA
And so we wait.
(The group, waiting for the jury to decide)
JERRY
Do they make you wear uniforms in prison?
ELAINE
I think so.
JERRY
It's not that bright orange one is it?
ELAINE
I hope it's not that one, because I
cannot wear orange.
KRAMER
Will you stop worrying? Jackie's going
to get us off. He never loses. How about
when he asked that cop
if a black man had ever been to his house. Did you see the look
on his face?
(George's mother, Estelle, tries to butter up Judge Vandelay)
ESTELLE
Sorry to bother you, Judge.
VANDELAY
How did you get in here?
ESTELLE
Please, if he's found guilty, please
be kind to him. He's a good boy.
VANDELAY
This is highly irregular.
ESTELLE
Well, maybe there's something I can
do for you.
VANDELAY
What do you mean?
ESTELLE
You know
(Witnesses waiting in pool hall, at restaurant, etc. Mr. Ross
buys a gun.)
(Sidra Holland and Jackie Chiles are in bed)
SIDRA
Oh, Jackie, you're so articulate.
JACKIE
We have plenty of time, too. This jury
could be out for days.
(Phone rings)
JACKIE
Hello? Damn. They're ready.
(Back in the courtroom)
JERRY
Hey Elaine, what was it you were about
to say to me on the plane when it was
going down?
ELAINE
I've always loved ... United Airlines.
(Jury reenters the courtroom)
KRAMER
I think it's going to be okay - that
girl just smiled at me.
JERRY
Maybe because she knows you're going
to jail.
BAILIFF
All rise.
VANDELAY
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, have
you reached a verdict?
FOREMAN
We have, Your Honor.
VANDELAY
Will the defendants please rise. And
how do you find, with respect to the
charge of criminal indifference?
FOREMAN
We find the defendants - guilty.
VANDELAY
Order! Order in this court, I will clear
this room! I do not know how, or under
what circumstances the four of you found
each other, but your callous indifference
and utter disregard for everything that
is good and decent has rocked the very
foundation upon which our society is
built. I can think of nothing more fitting
than for the four of youto spend a year
removed from society so that you can
contemplate the manner in which you
have conducted yourselves.
I know I will. This court is adjourned.
(Exit Judge Vandelay)
GEORGE
You had to hop! You had to hop on the
plane.
ELAINE
Puddy, don't wait for me.
PUDDY
Alright.
FRANK
We gotta get out of here. We want to
beat the traffic.
SIDRA
Come on, Jackie. Let's go.
JERRY
What?
CHILES
Oh, and by the way, they're real, and
they're spectacular.
(The group, walking back to the holding cell)
JERRY
Well, it's only a year. That's not so
bad. We'll be out in a year, and then
we'll be back
KRAMER
Could be fun. Don't have to worry about
your meals, or what you're going to
do Saturday night. And they do shows.
Yeah, we could put on a show - maybe
"Bye Bye Birdie" or "My Fair Lady".
Elaine, you could be Liza Doolittle.
ELAINE
Why don't you just blow it out your...
(They enter the cell)
ELAINE
If I call Jill from prison, do you think
that would make up for the other ones?
JERRY
Sure.
ELAINE
Cause you only get one call. The prison
call is like the king of calls.
JERRY
I think that would be a very nice gesture.
KRAMER
I got it - it's out! How about that,
huh? Oh, boy, what a relief.
JERRY
See now, to me, that button is in the
worst possible spot.
GEORGE
Really?
JERRY
Oh yeah. The second button is the key
button. It literally makes or breaks
the shirt. Look at it, it's
too high, it's in no-man's land.
GEORGE
Haven't we had this conversation before?
JERRY
You think?
GEORGE
I think we have.
JERRY
Yeah, maybe we have.
(Epilogue, on stage in the prison)
JERRY
So what is the deal with the yard? I
mean when I was a kid my mother wanted
me to play in the yard. But of
course she didn't have to worry about my next door neighbor Tommy
sticking a shiv in my thigh. And what's with the lockdown? Why
do we have to be locked in our cells? Are we that bad that we
have to be sent to prison, in prison?
You would think the weightlifting and the sodomy is enough. So,
anyone from Cellblock D?
PRISONER 1
I am.
JERRY
I'll talk slower. I'm kidding - I love
Cellblock D. My friend George is in
Cellblock D. What are you in for,sir?
PRISONER 2
Murder one.
JERRY
Murder one? Oooooo, watch out everybody.
Better be nice to you. I'm only kidding
sir - lighten up. How about
you, what are you in for?
PRISONER 3
Grand theft auto.
JERRY
Grand theft auto - don't steal any of
my jokes.
PRISONER 3
You suck - I'm gonna cut you.
JERRY
Hey, I don't come down to where you
work, and knock the license plate out
of your hand.
GUARD
Alright, Seinfeld, that's it. Let's
go. Come on.
JERRY
Alright, hey, you've been great! See
you in the cafeteria.
THE END
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